Chapter 36 - Let’s Get Away From It All.

By Thursday afternoon, after a full week of playing tour guide to a preschooler, Brian was more than ready to head down to Brighton. Besides the London bus tour on Monday and the Imperial War Museum on Tuesday, they'd also done the Natural History Museum on Wednesday - because Gus loved his dinosaurs ‘more than anything else in the whole wide world’ - and the London Transport Museum on Thursday morning - because, after dinosaurs, the thing Gus liked next best was any conceivable form of transportation. Brian had also kept Gus with him for a couple more overnights during that time. So, by this point, Daddy had experienced enough ‘Gus-ness’ to satisfy him for a bit. At the same time, though, he’d been missing out on significant amounts of ‘Justin-ness’, mostly because the pilot had been scheduled to fly every night that week except the night of their Boys’ Night Blanket Fort Sleepover. And even though Justin had joined them every day for their various adventures, the two lovers had had very little adult time together.

Luckily, that was all going to change once they finally got out of the city and made it to Brighton.

But first Brian had to get Lindsey taken care of.

“I just don’t know if I’m comfortable with you taking him away for the whole weekend, Brian,” Lindsey complained for at least the third time. “It would be different if we were at home, but this isn’t Pittsburgh. You’ll be traveling around a foreign country with my son. And without me. It’s a big commitment and I won’t be there to take him off your hands in the afternoons so you can get a break. Are you sure you can handle that on your own, Brian?”

“Shit, Lindz! You make it sound like I’m taking him to Outer Mongolia or something,” Brian outright scoffed at her. “It’s only Brighton, for fuck’s sake. For Americans that's about as ‘foreign’ as going to Florida. I’m pretty sure I can handle a trip to the beach with my son for four days.” Then Brian added in the zinger that he knew would really get his old friend riled - but since it was an issue that needed to be dealt with, this was as good a time as any. “Besides, I won’t be all on my own . . . Justin will be there to help out.”

“Justin’s going with you?” Yep, that had got her attention. “You NEVER said anything about him going with you. You told me you wanted to be alone with Gus; that’s the whole reason you didn’t want me along. Now you’re telling me that Justin’s invited but not ME? I don’t think so, Brian.”

Brian rolled his eyes and plowed on. “I didn’t know if he’d be able to get leave from his CO until yesterday, Lindz.”

Which wasn’t exactly a lie, because Brian hadn’t really been one hundred percent sure Justin could get the time off, although the pilot had assured him that he could always trade shifts with a buddy if the CO didn’t give him an official pass, and since they wouldn’t be in 1941, nobody would know Justin was gone anyway.

“Fine. But if he’s going then there’s no reason I can’t come too,” Lindsey asserted, her hands on her hips and that entitled indignation that Brian detested flashing in her eyes.

“Forget it, Lindsey. You’re not coming.”

“Why?”

“Well, for one thing, the cottage I rented only has two bedrooms, so there’s nowhere for you to sleep,” Brian began, hurrying on before she could voice whatever solution she was going to propose for that small issue. “And for another, we don’t need you there.”

“So you need Justin but not me? That’s nice, Brian. How long have we been friends? And now, the first piece of blond boy ass that comes along, you don’t have time for me?”

“Yeah, well, the difference is that I’m not fucking you, Lindz,” Brian blurted out, tired of playing her silly game.

“So this whole weekend is just an excuse for you to get away where you can fuck your latest trick for four days straight? Well you certainly aren’t going to do that with Gus around,” Lindsey fumed, turning her back to Brian as if that would end the argument.

“Come off it, Lindz.” Brian grabbed her arm to force her to turn back around and face him. “It’s not like you and Mel have never munched the night away after you put Gus to bed.” From Lindsey’s blush, he knew he’d landed a point. “And Justin isn’t just another trick or a piece of blond boy ass, as you put it. He’s my fucking boyfriend, so of course I want to spend time with him AND I want him to get to know Gus. There’s nothing fucking wrong with that and there’s no reason for you to be there in the middle of things. You’re not my wife, Lindz; you never will be, so deal with that already.”

“Boyfriend?” Lindsey seemed taken aback by that declaration. “I thought you always said you didn’t do ‘boyfriends’, Brian?”

“Well, apparently I do now,” Brian smiled despite himself. “Because that’s what Justin says we are and he’d probably kick my fucking ass if I tried to argue with him about it. Although, I prefer the term ‘partners’, myself.”

That seemed to finally give Lindsey pause. She stood there looking at Brian as if she didn’t recognize him. Shit, was it really that difficult for his friends to accept that Brian Kinney had finally grown up enough to admit he wanted a fucking boyfriend?

“You’re serious about this?” Lindsey asked after staring at him for a full two minutes.

“Yes. I’m completely serious about Justin,” Brian asserted, feeling quite proud of himself that he could say that out loud to one of his friends. “He’s good for me, Lindz, and I’m hoping I can convince him to stick around for a good long time. So, please don’t freak out about this or screw it up for me, okay? Just let me take Gus and Justin for these few days alone. I promise that Gus will be fine with us.” Brian reached out to grab Lindsey’s hand in his own, giving it a friendly squeeze. “Please let me have this, Lindsey.”

Lindsey seemed to physically deflate in front of Brian’s eyes as her righteous anger evaporated and turned into self-pity. “But I’ve been here almost a week now and we haven’t spent hardly any time together. I just wanted to hang out with you for a while like we used to, Bri. But I guess you don’t have time for me anymore.”

“I promise we’ll spend a couple days doing just that next week before you two leave. Okay?” Brian offered, hoping that would placate her. “Just you, me and Gus, if that’s what you want.” And then Brian pulled out the Ace Card he’d been holding back; handing over a ticket envelope containing a train ticket to Stratford Upon Avon, reservation information for a quaint little bed and breakfast, and theater tickets for two different performances. “Besides, if you go to Brighton with us, you’ll miss out on MacBeth at the Royal Shakespeare Theater.”

“Shakespeare?” Lindsey grabbed at the envelope and almost squealed as she pulled out all the goodies Brian had stuffed it with.

After that it was almost like Lindsey was TRYING to get rid of both Brian and Gus as quickly as possible so she could get packed for her mini-trip to see Shakespeare’s birthplace. As soon as Gus and Justin came back into the room after their short visit downstairs to the pool - an expedient that Brian had arranged so he could have a private discussion with Gus’ mother - she practically pushed them out the door. Brian might have been offended if he wasn’t so glad she’d capitulated that easily and given him what he really wanted.

So, with that all sorted, the three boys were off soon afterwards on their way to Brighton - or BriTin as Justin and Gus kept insisting. And, in keeping with that day’s theme and the earlier visit to the Transport Museum, Brian had opted to take the train from London to Brighton, rather than renting a car and driving. Gus had been thrilled with that announcement as he’d never been on a ‘real’ train before. Brian was just thrilled to see the joy such a simple thing brought his son.

The train ride from London to Brighton took just over an hour and a half, which for three year old Gus was about an hour and twenty five minutes too long. The ‘are we there yets’ started about half an hour into the journey and if it wasn’t for Justin, Brian believed he may have actually lost his mind. But Justin knew exactly what to do to keep the kid entertained - they played numerous rounds of I spy and, embarrassingly for Brian, Justin invented a game for both himself and Gus to play that involved trying to get the passengers sitting across from them to laugh by making silly faces or waving until the person caved in and laughed at their antics. There weren’t many people that they didn’t get a good response from, which made Gus extremely happy.

Finally, as the train neared the outskirts of the city, the tracks turned to the west and ran parallel to the coast for a short distance. Brian managed to distract his son from the kid’s crazy game for a moment by pointing out the window. Gus got up on his knees, nose pressed against the glass of the window, while he stared out at the oceanscape rolling by to the south of them.

“DADDY, I CAN SEE THE OCEAN!” the little boy shouted as he bounced up and down in his seat and his little feet kicked excitedly against Brian’s thigh. “Can you see it, Daddy? Jussin, can you see it? I wanna go swimming, Daddy. Can we? Can we? Can we?”

“Yeah, can we?” Justin asked teasingly, as he too had his nose pressed firmly up against the window right next to Gus, taking in the passing shoreline.

“Tomorrow, Sonny Boy . . . We’ll go swimming tomorrow,” Brian promised.

They arrived in BriTin right on schedule and Brian managed to get his crew and all their gear out of the train station and down the road to the cottage they’d be staying in, and he’d only had to ask for directions three times. The cottage itself was pretty much the epitome of what you’d expect a British country cottage to be; white stone with a thatched roof outside, cozy and tidy inside. There was a working fireplace in the main living room and two smallish bedrooms upstairs with one shared, relatively modern albeit small, bathroom. The only other remarkable feature of the place was a large, professionally-equipped kitchen.

Which was where Brian found Justin a few minutes after he finished showing Gus his room and depositing all their bags in the main bedroom.

“Blimey, Brian. Did you get a look at this kitchen? It’s incredible,” the delighted young man exclaimed as he opened and closed drawer after drawer and cupboard after cupboard. “It’s got everything. And look at this.” He bustled over to the beautiful six burner gas stove top and turned one of the little knobs on the front. “It lights itself automatically! Is that not the neatest thing you’ve ever seen? No more matches going out or almost blowing yourself up.”

Justin proceeded to demonstrate this miraculous mechanical achievement by repeatedly turning every single one of the burners on and off at least three times while Brian stood there chuckling at him. He then tried out the oven, practically sticking his whole head inside to examine the way the heating element worked. After that his discovery of the built in fan and light in the hood over the stovetop seemed anti-climactic. From there, though, he moved on to the huge stainless steel refrigerator with French doors, an exterior drawer, an ice and water dispenser in the door and a built in freezer chest in the bottom . . . which pretty much blew him away.

“I can honestly say I’ve never even dreamed of something this amazing before,” Justin admitted as soon as Gus had finished demonstrating how to fill up a glass of ice water. “My mother thought she was queen of the world when she was the first in our neighborhood to get a Frigidaire but this . . .” He took a sip of his ice water and grinned from ear to ear. “This is better.”

Gus, like all modern children who grew up understanding technology almost instinctively, then tried to explain to Justin how to use the little built in computer screen on the front of the refrigerator that would help you remember to order groceries and tell you when the milk was going bad. Unfortunately, that particular feature went right over Justin’s head. But he did like the ‘deep freeze’ drawer and the automatic ice maker.

“So, where’s all the food?” Justin asked as soon as he figured out how the thing worked.

“We’re only going to be here for a few days, Blue Eyes,” Brian explained. “I didn’t think it was worth it to have the fridge stocked when we can eat out just as easily.”

“That’s ridiculous! You can’t have a beautiful kitchen like this and not use it. There’s got to be a law against that, isn’t there?” Justin insisted strenuously. “We have to cook something while we’re here.”

“Sorry, but I don’t cook, Blue Eyes,” Brian admitted with a shrug.

“He really doesn’t,” Gus chimed in with his two cents, adding a disappointed look and a shake of his head in his father‘s direction. “One time, when I was staying with him, Daddy burned microwave mac ‘n cheese. Mama said nobody is that bad a cook, but I tolded her Daddy was an’ she laughed and then she sayed that the kitchen was the only ‘Hot Thang’ Daddy didn’t like. What did she mean by that, Daddy?”

“It means your mama is really bad at making jokes, Sonny Boy,” Brian answered, disregarding Justin’s snickering.

“Well, the good news is that I CAN cook,” Justin declared. “All I need are some groceries.”

“You cook?” Brian asked incredulously.

“Yeah . . .” Justin seemed a little hesitant to admit his skill after Brian commented like that. “Why do you ask like that?”

“No reason. I just didn’t think YOU of all people would enjoy cooking.”

“Is there something wrong with a man who likes to cook?” Justin asked defensively. “I figured, what with all you keep telling me about how open and accepting the world is these days, the fact that I enjoy cooking wouldn’t be a problem.”

“No problem at all,” Brian replied, stepping close enough to the wannabe chef to grab hold and hug him till all the bristliness was gone. “I don’t give a fuuu . . . A fudge . . . If you cook or not, Blue Eyes. I just didn’t expect somebody like you would be into that, is all.”

“Somebody like me? What does that mean?”

Okay, Justin was still a little bristly.

“Hell, Justin. You’re, like, the biggest butch I know. You’re in the military, a judo champion, and you kill people for a living. I just didn’t see cooking being another of your hobbies is all,” Brian explained, adding a kiss to placate the suspicious man. “But if you want to cook, Blue Eyes, we’ll make it happen.” Then he turned to his son, who’d been listening in on all this with rapt attention. “You up for a trip to the grocery store, Sonny Boy?”

“Yay!!!!! Kin we get ‘nilla ice cream and Oreo cookies for dessert? Oh, an’ choc’lut fudge cake - you like choc’lut fudge cake, dontcha, Jussin? It’s my favorite. Kin you make mac ‘n cheese too? Mommy always cooks mac ‘n cheese an’ she lets me have two bowls full if I’m hungry. Kin we cook that too, Jussin? Pease?”

Even with Gus constantly interrupting with suggestions about what he wanted to buy at the store, Brian was able to use his smartphone to locate the nearest grocery store and order an Uber car to come pick them up for the journey. Justin was almost as fascinated by the concept of a ride share service as he was with the fancy new Merc that the driver showed up in. Brian let him sit in the front so he could chat with the lovely young Pakistani woman driving them; Justin learned all about her hijab on the way to the store.

And, as if the poor time-traveller hadn’t had enough excitement for one day, he was bowled over one more time when they arrived at the gigantic Sainsbury's store out on the edge of the town. The boy had become much more blasé about ordering at modern restaurants over the past couple weeks - slowly becoming used to the idea that there were a lot more food choices these days - but actually seeing the store where all that food came from was another story. The acre or so of food they wandered through seemed, at first, to stymie the young man. But soon enough he became almost as enthusiastic of an impulse shopper as Gus. Brian groaned as he watched his quick trip to the store turn into an hours long ordeal.

First they wandered through the produce department so Justin could exclaim over the mounds of beautiful fruits. He couldn’t get over how large everything was: apples and oranges so big they filled your entire hand, grapes without seeds about the size of quarter, and strawberries almost too big to fit in your mouth in one bite. The fact that there even WAS this much fruit in May, was enough to floor him, until Brian explained that most of it was flown in from other countries so that there was fresh produce all year round. Then Brian had to tell him the names of all the exotic fruits and vegetables that Justin had never seen before, such as the kiwis, avocados, and starfruit. They ended up filling the cart with at least one of almost everything so Justin could try it all later.

All the other sections of the store were equally as astonishing to the young man from 1941. There was the meat department with stacks and stacks of pre-packaged meats that you didn’t have to wait for the butcher to cut up or wrap. There was the bakery section, with that delicious freshly baked bread smell as well as all its pre-made bread, cakes and cookies, where Justin and Gus selected a chocolate fudge cake decorated with icing flowers for their dessert. The frozen foods section with all its many offerings of just-heat-and-eat meals - a concept Justin found confusing, especially when Gus tried to explain about the microwave oven you used to heat them up - seemed to scare him a little, but he did let Gus talk him into buying frozen waffles for breakfast the next day. Brian also made them stop by the Deli section - to get sandwich fixings for their lunches over the next few days - where Justin marveled over the heaping bowls of pre-made pasta salads, bangers, Chinese food and samosas. And all that was before they even got to the aisles and aisles of regular dry goods. In the end, their shopping cart was so full that stuff was constantly slipping off the top and falling. Brian just shook his head, glad his boys were having so much fun even if it was in such an unlikely place, and hoped their Uber had a large enough trunk to fit all this crap in.

Brian shuffled groggily down the stairs the next morning to find Little Justin Homemaker happily pottering away in his kitchen. Who knew that his brash, war-hardened, fighter pilot boyfriend would turn into a complete house husband at the first opportunity? Brian really wasn’t sure he liked the new, domesticated version of his Blue Eyes. Especially since all this cooking seemed to be interfering with the cooking he’d been looking forward to doing in the bedroom that weekend. But, after the huge feast Justin had done up the night before - pot roast, roasted potatoes, green salad, homemade buttermilk biscuits and that damned chocolate fudge cake for dessert that Gus had forced Brian to eat - they’d both been too full to fuck. And now, because Justin apparently couldn’t bare to leave his kitchen, Brian had missed out on his morning fuck too. No wonder he wasn’t in the best of moods as he came down the stairs and settled in at the small kitchen table with a scowl for all the world.

“Good morning,” Justin welcomed him with a huge, too-bright grin.

Brian growled at him.

“You can’t talk to Daddy til he’s had his coffee in the morning, Jussin,” Gus warned from where he was perched on a chair across from Brian, digging through a stack of frozen waffles and getting maple syrup pretty much everywhere. “Mommy says he’s a grumbly bear til he gets his first cup of coffee an’ I shouldn’t bother him.”

Justin laughed in agreement with the boy and bustled around, getting Brian a cup of coffee from the pot warming under the coffee maker that Justin must have found in the cupboard and somehow figured out on his own. Once he’d set the steaming mug and a full bowl of sugar down in front of the Grumbly Brian Bear, Justin went back to his breakfast preparations, eventually returning with a toasted bagel slathered in cream cheese - yet another exotic delicacy he hadn’t known about before their visit to the grocery store the night before. Brian started to growl again, because he wasn’t eating that crap, but the warning look in Justin’s eyes gave him pause.

“I might be wearing a frilly apron at the moment,” Justin explained in a cool, calculating, slightly menacing tone, “but I can still kill you with my bare hands, so you’d better stop grumbling and buck up, Private. You understand me?”

Brian swallowed, both intimidated and also strangely turned on by Justin’s threat.

“Roger that,” he replied . . . and then managed to get his blond to break a smile by adding, “but I’d rather roger you, instead.”

“There will be no rogering at breakfast, thank you very much,” Justin chided him. “Although, there’s always the shower after breakfast . . .”

“Who’s Roger?” Gus asked.

“He’s a friend of your father’s,” Justin explained casually. “Now, hurry up and finish that waffle, Buddy, so we can get you cleaned up and head to the beach. Okay?”

Once breakfast was finished and put away - and in Brian’s case, numerous cups of coffee had been consumed - the boys got themselves ready for their day at the beach. Brian was a little frustrated by all the gear they were stockpiling. Since when did a simple day at the beach require so much stuff? And just when he thought he’d got it all in hand and was ready to head out the door, Justin apparently had one more thing to add.

“I made us lunch,” Justin informed Brian as he pointed to the large wicker basket by the front door. “I found the basket in a closet over there and I thought Gus might want to have a picnic on the beach.”

“I do, I do, I dooooo,” Gus sang happily and his little shoes flashed brightly as he bounced around, raring to go.

Of course Brian was left to carry the damn basket - along with everything else - the ten minute walk to the seafront. This would have pissed him off if it wasn’t for the sight of his two boys walking a couple of steps ahead of him, hand in hand, both practically jogging down the hill to the beach. Brian was heartened by how quickly Gus and Justin had become bosom buddies. Plus, it meant that Gus had someone other than HIM to prattle to about all his beach plans.

“. . . An’ then we’re gonna build a san’ castle, okay, Jussin?” Gus said, concluding his beach day agenda.

Justin just nodded along with Gus’s plans, unable to get a word in, even if he’d wanted to.

As they rounded a large stand of trees, the ocean finally came into view, and Brian had to grab the back of Gus’s t-shirt to stop him from making a mad dash across the busy road.

“Gus, you mustn’t do that, do you understand?” Brian scolded the little boy, who’s lips began to wobble at the tone of his Daddy’s voice. “There are lots of cars,” his voice softened, “and I don’t want you getting hurt.”

Gus nodded and a minute later they were all crossing the street together, along with all the other beach-goers. And then they were finally there, walking down the path to the broad expanse of the rocky shoreline.

“Look at those little houses, Daddy,” Gus pointed to the brightly colored beach huts lined up along the beachfront. “Is this where the seven dwarfs live?” He asked Brian seriously.

“Could be, Sonny Boy. Could be,” Brian replied, trying not to give away his next big surprise as they made their way along the row.

“Close your eyes, Sonny Boy . . . You too, Justin,” Brian instructed as he pulled a key out of his pocket, scanned the beach huts till he’d located the one that corresponded with the number on the key, and then began unlocking it.

He quickly looked inside the small building, noting that it was equipped with chairs, a beach umbrella and even a small table. It was a great little convenience and served the double purpose of providing them a private place to change and to lock up their stuff if they decided to go off exploring. Brian would have to thank Cynthia for her excellent planning and for finding this for him.

“Okay. You can look now,” Brian directed, enjoying the surprised yawps from both his boys. “Sorry, Sonny Boy, it doesn’t look like there are any of Snow White’s dwarves in here - but that just means there’s more room for us.”

For several minutes both Gus and Justin oo’d and ahh’d over the little hut and all its amenities. Gus decided it was too small for big people but just the right size for him, although he conceded that his Daddy and Justin could share it with him if they were good. When they were done cataloging the hut’s contents, they decided to pull out a couple of the chairs and set themselves up a little ways down the beach.

“Oh!” Gus said sadly once they’d walked a little distance off, away from the bright blue hut. “There’s no sand! This isn’t a real beach, Daddy - it’s on’y a p‘tend beach cuz it don’t have any sand.” The little boy stamped his foot angrily. “Now me and Jussin can’t build a san’ castle.”

“Sorry, Sonny Boy, but this isn’t that kind of beach. I’m sure you’ll find something fun to do with all these rocks though, right?”

“I ‘spose.”

“It’s okay, Gus. I’ll make something with you,” Justin promised the pouting three year old. “We can build rock pyramids instead of sand castles. How does that sound?”

Gus, who had always been a pretty easy going child, readily accepted this substitute and immediately began to sort through a small pile of stones, advising his playmate, Justin, that it was important to only use the prettiest rocks for their construction project. Justin laughed and sat down next to the boy, handing him whatever rocks he could find that he felt would meet Gus’ strident criteria. They soon had several separate piles collected - one each for brown rocks, grey rocks, white rocks, blue rocks and another for ‘speckledy’ rocks of many colors. Brian looked on affectionately from his comfortable beach chair a few feet away.

“Oooo! Lookit this one, Jussin. Lookit!” Gus held up yet another rock for inspection. This one was a tiny little pebble, no bigger than the size of a large pea, but it stood out as it was a shiny blue-grey slate. “Innit pretty? It’s blue like your eyes, Jussin.” Gus declared. “Here, you takes it, Jussin. You kin keep it as a mens-toes.”

“A ‘mens-toes’?” Justin was totally confused. “What’s a mens-toes, Gus?”

“It’s somethin’ you keep to ‘member stuff by. My Mommy has a big box full of that stuff at home. She says it’s all full of mens-toes from the best times of her life.”

“I think you mean ‘mementos’, Gus,” Brian corrected, explaining for Justin’s benefit more than anything.

“Yeah, thas what I said, ‘mens-toes’,” Gus asserted and went back to his rock sorting. “You gots ta keep that one always, Jussin, since it’s your special blue eyes rock. Right, Daddy?”

“Whatever you say, Sonny Boy,” Brian agreed, noting the smile that Gus had given Justin along with the little pebble, and the fact that Justin had already placed his special rock safely in his pocket.

While Brian was sunning himself and Gus was occupied building the Taj Mahal with piles of rocks, Justin pulled out the sketch book he’d slipped into the big bag of supplies that Brian had toted along, and then moved his beach chair over so he had a good view of the two Kinney men. They were both so beautiful; perfect subjects for a quick artistic study. ‘Sonny Boy’s Day at the Beach’, Justin titled the work at the top of the page and then moved on to draw the pair in loving detail.

He didn’t look up until, several minutes later, the sun behind him was suddenly blocked out. The culprit turned out to be an elderly woman dressed in a long, flowing, beach sarong and a big floppy sun hat, who had come up to peek over his shoulder at what Justin was drawing. He’d been so absorbed in his work he hadn’t even noticed her approaching.

“Pardon me for being nosey, young man, but I was just that curious about what you were drawing,” the woman apologized with a friendly smile. “Your sketch is lovely. And so is your family.” She nodded over towards Brian and Gus. “You and your fella make a beautiful couple, and your son is just a doll. It does my old heart good to see such a happy little family.”

Justin didn’t know what to say. He still wasn’t quite used to this century’s acceptance of homosexuality; it continued to amaze him that he could actually kiss Brian in public without any repercussions, but to have someone come up and actually compliment him, saying he and Brian made a beautiful couple, was astounding. And to hear her refer to Gus as his ‘son’? That really hit home. It was probably the most surprising thing that he’d experienced yet.

Justin nodded and managed to thank the woman with some vague platitudes. She moved off, back to her own section of beach, allowing him to return to his drawing. Before he started, though, Justin took a good look at the picture again. The woman had mentioned how happy their ‘family’ looked.

Justin’s ‘family’.

He looked at his drawing of Brian and Gus and saw that she was right. They already did feel like his family. Or they could be, if only he didn’t live in another century, where he couldn’t openly acknowledge that he loved another man and where the two of them would never be allowed to live together or raise a son without fear of being caught.

And also, if he wasn’t doomed to die in just a few more weeks.

Justin reached out with his index finger and smudged one of the lines of his drawing a little, creating some shadowing and adding some contour to the picture. If he didn’t think about it too much, he could almost imagine himself in this picture. Sitting by Brian’s side, and their son, Gus, playing on the rocky beach next to them.

Justin would really like that to be his reality. He’d never even dared to think about having a family of his own before now - that simply wasn’t an option for a queer man in his time - but now that he’d seen it, he wanted that for himself. He wanted a husband. He wanted a beautiful little boy like Gus. He wanted a home. And he wasn’t sure if he could make himself stop wanting those things, even if they seemed impossible.

“Whatcha thinking about over there, Blue Eyes?” Brian spoke up from where he’d been snoozing on his chair and taking advantage of the unusually warm weather.

Justin looked up from his sketch and smiled wistfully. “You,” he replied honestly.

“Me, huh?”

Justin nodded.

“Well, how ‘bout you come show me what you were thinking about,” Brian suggested with a very Kinney-esque leer.

Dropping his sketch, Justin crawled over to him, ignoring the hard pebbles under his knees until he’d reached Brian’s side, only then rubbing his sore kneecaps with a grumbled, “Ow!”

“Come here,” Brian ordered in a quietly domineering fashion as he pulled Justin up onto his lap, “and kiss me.”

Justin looked around at all the people sitting on the beach, minding their own business. If Brian had asked him this a few weeks ago, he would have outright refused, but with the older lady’s words still echoing in his head he felt emboldened. He leaned in and kissed Brian deeply, tasting his lips and giving Brian an evil smile as he noticed the change in the older man’s breathing. He loved how powerful he felt, knowing that he had that effect on his beautiful lover.

“Okay, this is my plan, Blue Eyes,” Brian said in a hushed voice, adding a sexy waggle of his brows. “First we dig into that lunch basket you put together, then we take Gus swimming and get him nice and tired out, and then, while he’s napping all that food and fun off in the hut, we get to make out for the next hour or so. How does that sound to you?”

“Perfect,” Justin admitted with another kiss.

And it was perfect - the ham sandwiches eaten on the beach in the sun, the splashing around in the water with the man he loved and the boy he was coming to love just as much, and even the long, drawn-out, make out session afterwards that left him panting and hard and lusting for more - so perfect it made Justin’s heart ache at the thought that all this might only be an ephemeral interlude that would soon disappear.

But all he could do was try and soak up as much of this idyllic time as possible . . . in case this was all he got.