Chapter 41 - Sentimental Journey.

Brian was just sitting there, crumpled on the ground amid the still-burning debris, several minutes later. He was devastated. He couldn’t think or move; he could barely breath. He was trapped here in the past and would never see his friends or family - his son - again. What the hell was he going to do?

At the mere thought of never seeing Gus again, Brian felt himself getting more and more angry. Fuck this shit! Fuck this whole fucking time travelling shit! What the hell had he been thinking flitting back and forth through time like this? Now he was trapped here; he’d never see Gus again and it was all fucking shit!

*ARGHHHH!* Brian screamed his rage to the sky but that wasn’t enough to vent all the pain and fear he was feeling. It was so fucking unfair. He had been stupid coming back here all the time. And his family wouldn’t even know what had happened to him. They’d just think he disappeared. It was so fucking wrong.

Vaulting to his feet, Brian began to take his fury out on the piles of smoking debris all around him. He picked up the first brick that came to hand and hurled it with all his strength at the far wall, getting at least some satisfaction when it smashed into tiny crumbles of brick dust upon impact. Next he picked up a piece of charred wood, not even really feeling the sting as the few red hot embers he touched burned his palm. That stick followed the brick and also smashed into the wall. Then another and another. He was so fucking angry it felt like not even the destruction of the entire alley would suffice. If he could destroy the entire world, it wouldn’t be enough.

Right as he picked up a huge masonry block, the jagged corners of which dug into the already raw flesh of his palms, Justin grabbed the back of Brian’s coat.

“Applesauce, Brian! You’re hurting yourself. Look at your hands. Calm down, okay?” the blond tried to appease the man.

“Calm down?” Brian laughed bitterly. “Don’t tell me to fucking calm down! I’m stuck seventy five years in the past; my kid will never know what happened to me. He’ll think I’ve just . . . just abandoned him,” he choked out and then dropped the big block of concrete which narrowly missed landing on his foot.

“I get it, Brian. I know you’re upset but panicking and throwing stuff and hurting your hands isn’t going to solve anything,” Justin insisted, taking the next brick out of Brian’s hand before he could throw it.

“Fuck off, Justin!” Brian growled and immediately picked up another hunk of wood - one that was still actually burning - completely disregarding the pain it caused as he turned his back on the younger man and chucked it at the wall as well.

“Dad-blame it, Brian! Stop already!”

Justin grabbed Brian’s jacket to try and pull him back from yet another section of smoldering debris, but Brian pulled out of his grip with a snarl. Justin wasn’t deterred though; He growled right back at Brian, lowered his head and ran at the enraged man like a charging bull, hitting him so hard that Brian had to stagger back a few steps to prevent himself from falling. Justin pressed his advantage by pinning Brian to the wall behind him, using his body to prevent any subsequent escape. Brian struggled, but the annoying little fucker was stronger than he looked. So, after two or three minutes of tussling, Brian finally gave up, slumping back against the bricks, admitting defeat.

“Will you just let me help you now?” Justin asked as he looked around at the destruction that surrounded them. “We need to think about this logically. There has to be some explanation. Are you sure this is where the time portal was located? I seem to remember it being further from the alley entrance.”

Brian shrugged, still not moving from the spot where Justin had left him leaning against the wall. “No, it was definitely here. I remember because it was just beyond that fucking drainpipe.” Brian explained as he pointed to the pipe that used to be attached to the wall a few feet away.

They both looked at the old metal pipe that had previously been latched onto the bricks with sturdy bolts, but which was now leaning at a wonky angle against a yet another pile of bricks and rubble. Justin left Brian where he was and walked across the alley, threading his way through the debris, until he was standing right next to the pipe. Brian watched as the younger man examined the drainpipe and then seemed to scan the remains of the wall behind it for a minute or so more. Brian couldn’t figure out what Justin was looking at and he was too miserable to really care. But when Brian finally did look up again, Justin was grinning at him.

“Look,” Justin pointed to something on the wall that Brian couldn’t immediately see. “This pipe has been knocked quite a ways from the wall. You can see where it used to be bolted to the bricks over there.” Brian’s gaze followed to where Justin was pointing and he could see the line of discoloration along the section of brick wall a meter or so further down the alley where the pipe used to be located. “See, it’s been moved. Which means . . .”

Justin kicked his way through some mangled wires and plaster refuse, skirting around anything too large to move, until he made his way further down the left-hand wall of the alley. Then he carefully moved along the brickwork, slowly feeling his way for a meter or so more, until he stopped, turned back to Brian with a huge grin on his face and held his hand out for Brian to grab. At first Brian wasn’t sure what was going on; he was too far gone in his depression to understand why the hell Justin was grinning at him. But Justin simply shook his head, latched onto Brian’s wrist with a grip that wasn’t easy to shake, and towed Brian over.

“Let’s go to the zoo, Handsome.”

Brian was ready to protest the futility of it all but then Justin thrust his arm out in front of him and . . . it disappeared.

The rush of relief was so overwhelming that Brian almost blacked out for a second.

“I’m gonna get to see my Sonny Boy again,” he muttered, too stunned at first to move.

“Well, not if we just stand around here, you won’t,” Justin teased, trying to lighten the mood. “Come on, already. You don’t want to keep the kid waiting, do you?”

After that, Brian was happy to let Justin tow him along into the time rift. Once on the 2016 side, Brian felt himself being pushed up against the cold brickwork and kissed within an inch of his life. Justin’s mouth was demanding as he took control of their kiss and manhandled Brian until he had the man exactly where he wanted him. Their tongues sought entry into each other’s mouths, darting against each other in some weird battle of dominance, neither man willing to let the other take full control.

“What was that for?” Brian breathed heavily when he finally pulled away. “Not that I’m complaining or anything, Blue Eyes.”

“Because I love you and I hate to see you hurt or scared. Oh, and because I’d be just as upset as you if you were ever separated from your son,” Justin declared, almost as if daring Brian to call him out on his sentimentality. “Now, come on, we need to stop off at the Palace on the way to get you cleaned up and see to those wounds you inflicted on your hands. You can’t show up to collect Gus looking like that; you’d scare the poor kid silly.”

Brian probably did scare Gus a little with the fervent way he squeezed and kissed him hello when they eventually did make it to Lindsey’s hotel. Brian didn’t care. He had never been happier to see someone in his entire life. Hell, he was even glad to see Lindsey, despite their little spat the day before, and gave the woman a friendly hug and kiss on the cheek as well. Gus wasn’t in the mood to be coddled by his father, though, and quickly insisted that he be put down so he could go greet His Jussin. His arms were already in the air, reaching up so Justin could hug him, before his feet touched the ground.

“Hey, Buddy!” Justin picked the boy up, letting Gus wrap his little arms around his neck to the point Justin was practically strangled. “I hear we’re going to the Zoo today, and there was something about penguins?”

That set Gus off, and he spent the next ten minutes telling Justin EVERYTHING he knew about penguins - a lot of which he’d learned from the movie, ‘Happy Feet’. Justin patiently sat and listened to every word, nodding or giving encouragement as needed. Brian and Lindsey stood nearby, watching the discussion with amused smiles. Brian was happy to note that Lindsey really was putting in an effort to be more accepting of Justin, even going so far as to tell him she was glad he was coming along for that day’s outing.

Before long, they were all sorted and ready to head out for the day, with Brian demanding that Gus hold his hand the entire ride in the cab to the Zoo. Gus commented on the bandages on his Daddy’s hands, but Brian just blew off the little boy’s concern; Justin however butted in, telling Gus how his daddy had cut his hands on some sharp bricks when he’d come to get Justin that morning and advising the boy to be extra careful when holding Brian’s hands. Gus spent the rest of the cab ride giving his Daddy kisses to help the boo boos heal. Brian put up with it because it was his Sonny Boy, but was glad when they finally arrived at their destination.

The London Zoo was like all such places, but that didn’t matter to Gus. He was in seventh heaven, running from exhibit to exhibit with glee. There were all the usual favorites: the Lions, the elephants, the giraffes and more. But, as expected, Gus was most excited to visit the Penguin Beach exhibit. Brian, as was his way, had booked a special treat for Gus, who was pretty much apoplectic with delight when his dad told him he was going to be allowed to go into the penguin exhibit and help the keepers feed the birds. After that, the rest of the day seemed to be non-stop talk about penguins as Gus related all he’d learned in his up-close encounter with Ricky and Matilda, the pair of penguins he had fed.

The parents seemed to run out of energy long before their son did. By mid-afternoon - after a cafeteria-style lunch at the Animal Adventure Cafe - both Brian and Lindsey were visibly flagging. Luckily, Justin still seemed to be going strong and he took over, running around with Gus in the little playground area that included swings, a slide, and some climbing toys. Brian beamed at the pair, enjoying their fun even from a distance.

“You were right, Bri,” Lindsey announced after about twenty minutes of this. “He is good with Gus.”

“I will spare you the customary, ‘I Told You So’,” Brian snarked. “But, yeah, they are good together. That’s not really a surprise, though, the little fucker’s good at pretty much everything.”

“I’m starting to see that,” Lindsey admitted as Justin helped Gus find a foothold on the climbing wall they were playing on. “And, for what it’s worth, I just want you to know that I’m glad you finally found someone. It was a bit of a shock, after all these years, but now that I’ve come to grips with the idea, I’m happy for you. I can see that he makes you happy too. Can you forgive me for giving you a hard time before?”

“Already forgiven,” Brian responded curtly.

“So you mentioned trying to get Justin to come back to the States with you? How’s that going to work? Isn’t it going to be rather difficult what with him assigned to the RAF and stationed here in London and all? I mean, he can’t just pick up and move, right?”

“Correct. But I’m working on it.” Brian knew his answer was cryptic, however there was no need to give his nosy friend any more clues and risk her butting into things.

“Well, I hope it works out, Brian. Especially considering how attached Gus is getting to Justin already.”

“Daddy! Daddy, come see! Jussin teached me how to do a Judo roll when I fall so’s I don’t get hurted. Come see, Daddy!” Gus demanded, thankfully interrupting the third degree Lindsey seemed bent on.

Gus tugged at Brian’s hand until he got up to come see the amazing new Judo roll trick. Before he knew it, both Gus and Justin were practicing throwing each other onto the ground and rolling around. It was hilarious and embarrassing at the same time. Brian was sure all the other parents were wondering if they should call child protective services or something. But Gus was giggling as he kept coming back for more, over and over again, and since Lindsey wasn’t objecting, Brian supposed it was okay. He only put his foot down when Justin offered to throw him.

That seemed to be the cue that their zoo adventure was over. They all headed towards the exit, tired but happy. Brian insisted that they stop in the gift shop before they left, which resulted in Gus toting around a life-sized plush version of ‘Ricky The Penguin’. Justin shook his head at Brian but thankfully didn’t comment on the fact that he was spoiling his Sonny Boy silly. After the scare Brian had suffered that morning, he didn’t give a damn. He would spoil his kid if he fucking wanted to and anyone who didn’t like it could go pound sand.

Next up, they all went back to The Palace and the boys had a swim while Lindsey watched from the comfort of her poolside lounge chair. Brian got involved in trying to teach Gus how to dive like a penguin and when he finally looked up, he found Justin and Lindz chatting as they looked through one of Lindsey’s art magazines. At first, Brian was a little leery about leaving them alone like that, but then he realized he was being stupid - Justin could certainly handle the likes of an artsy, ex-debutant, lesbian for a half hour or so, right? However, by the time Gus was ready to get out of the pool, it seemed the conversation between the two blonds had taken a more serious turn. Both Justin and Lindsey were so intent on whatever they were saying that neither noticed as Brian approached from behind.

“. . . I love him. And I adore your son. And I don’t intend to hurt either of them but, as I’m sure you know, real life doesn’t always work that way, so all I can promise is that I’ll do my best to care for them both for as long as I’m around,” Justin asserted with his usual frankness.

“I guess that’s all any of us can promise, so . . . thank you.” Lindsey replied, sounding genuinely cordial for the first time.

“Well, if you ladies are finished wagging your tongues about my private life,” Brian said, alerting the two startled blonds to his presence, “I think maybe it’s time to feed our aspiring Penguin Keeper. Or would you rather sit around here forever discussing whether you like Monet or Manet better?”

“I likes Man-aise better, Daddy. ‘Specially wiv ketchup on my fries. Kin we get fries for dinner, Daddy? I’m SO hungry,” Gus added his two cents to the conversation, causing all three adults to break into laughter.

After dinner at an obscure little falafel house, Brian and Justin walked Lindsey and Gus back to Lindsey’s hotel. Brian was a little bummed when he realized that Gus would be returning home in just two more days. This had been a great visit. Brian didn’t know how much longer he’d be here in London but, at the rate they were going, it would likely take him most of the summer to finalize the Britcom stuff before he could get home. That was a long time to go without seeing his son again. But at least he was still here in 2016 to see him and not trapped in the past. Brian shuddered at the thought.

After they’d said goodnight to the boy and his mother, Brian walked with Justin back to Duckett’s Passage. It had been a fun day and Brian had finally relaxed after the morning’s scare, but he still felt a little leery about going back through the time portal. He just couldn’t stop worrying about what he’d do if he were stuck back there. Nobody here would even know what had happened to him. He would simply have disappeared with no warning or explanation. He just couldn’t risk it.

Before they reached the location of the time rift, Brian pulled Justin to a halt. The young pilot turned to look at him with a questioning gaze. Brian reached up with one hand to cup the slightly stubbled cheek, looking down into the blue depths and sighing.

“I don’t think I should go back with you tonight, Blue Eyes,” Brian admitted. “I can’t bear the thought of getting trapped back there and not being able to get home to Gus. Although, the thought of not knowing where you are and if you’re okay, is pretty much equally unbearable . . . Fuck!” Brian pulled the shorter man closer, his arms convulsively squeezing the slender body to him, wishing he didn’t have to let go. “And I already know you’re going to say something annoying like you can’t stay, you have a mission to fly tonight, or some other drivel like that, so don’t waste your breath.” Brian felt like his heart was being torn in two. “Fucking time travel . . . I wish I could clone myself so I could be in both places at the same time. Which, I suppose, isn’t all that far fetched an idea after you’ve found a fucking time portal, right? So where do you suppose we look for the cloning portal?”

“That’s all we’d need - two of you would be way too much, Handsome,” Justin kidded, trying to cheer his lover up. “But I completely understand, Brian. You have to stay here for Gus.”

Brian knew he was pouting, and wasn’t proud of the fact, but he couldn’t help it - he felt like part of him would be leaving with Justin and it almost physically hurt. How could he let the man go? Once Justin was through the portal, anything could happen to him and Brian would never know. He was caught between the two worlds.

Obviously, Justin could tell how conflicted Brian was, because he raised up on his toes so he could reach the taller man’s lips with a tender, sweet kiss. “It’s going to be okay, Brian. I’ll be fine. And I promise to come back here - to you - first thing in the morning, as soon as I’m done flying. Okay?” Then Justin leaned back so he could see Brian’s eyes clearly. “And promise me something?”

Brian remained quiet and waited patiently for Justin to make his request. He couldn’t help but smile at the boy as the young pilot squirmed uncomfortably. Justin’s beautiful alabaster cheeks were burning brightly when he finally did speak up.

“Don’t shower before you go to bed . . . especially if you . . . uh . . . touch yourself before you, you um . . . fall asleep,” Justin’s voice hitched as he spoke.

“I never suspected you had such a kinky side, Blue Eyes,” Brian teased, laughing outright when he noted the confused look the unfamiliar term ‘kinky’ caused his boy. “Never mind, I’ll explain later - or better yet, I’ll demonstrate - but in the meantime, I think I can manage that,” Brian replied with his tongue firmly in his cheek. “Just be safe, okay?”

“You know this protective thing is utterly adorable, right?” Brian gave him a disapproving look which Justin, of course, completely disregarded. “I’ll be fine, Brian.”

“You fucking better be okay, twat,” Brian ordered gruffly. “I’ll be expecting your ass in my bed by no later than 0900 hours, Officer Taylor, or you’ll get put on report and I’ll have to discipline you.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Justin laughed.

“Oh, you have no idea . . .” Brian replied.

Then he bent to give the coral pink lips he loved to taste one last, thorough, kissing before finally letting go of his blond time traveler. Justin shot him through the heart with one of his breathtakingly brilliant smiles. Then the RAF officer turned to face his duty and disappeared through the time portal, leaving Brian to make his way back to The Palace of 2016 alone.

The walk was good though. It gave Brian time to think. He had a LOT to think about too.

Brian was understandably wary of going back in time and getting trapped there - he couldn’t just abandon his son or his obligations like that. And even if he didn’t get physically stuck there, he might get hurt or sick or have some other mishap that might prevent him coming home for a while. So far, he’d been incredibly lucky that nothing serious had happened to him while he was sojourning in the middle of a war-ravaged London. However, not being able to go back with Justin was equally unacceptable. He hated that he wasn’t even in the same century as the man he cared so much about. But if he was going to keep going back and forth through time, he needed to arrange things a little better here in the future so that, should the worst happen, at the very least his family and his son wouldn’t be left wondering what happened to him or financially wanting.

What Brian needed was an ally here in 2016 - someone that knew where he was going all the time and what to do if he suddenly didn’t come back. It had to be someone smart and level headed, who wouldn’t freak out or jump the gun if there were minor glitches, but who could be depended on in a real emergency. That, of course, left out most if not all of Brian’s friends. If Ted were here in London, Brian might have considered making the staid, financially-savvy accountant his confidante, but there was nothing Ted could do for him back in Pittsburgh. So that left him with only one person . . .

“Cynthia!” Brian announced to an empty street as he picked up his pace, now eager to get back to the hotel so he could set his new plan into action.

“What the hell are we doing in an empty alley, Boss?” Cynthia complained.

Brian just smiled at his irritated assistant. She’d been annoyed with him ever since he showed up at her room, pounding on her door until she answered and then demanding she get dressed and come with him. Apparently she’d just got out of her work clothes, was planning on snuggling up with a new book for the rest of the evening and wasn’t in the least bit amused by Brian’s demand that she go somewhere with him. She’d been even less inclined to agree when he’d refused to explain where, exactly, he was taking her. But, after a lot of pleading, Brian had finally talked her into joining him on his mysterious adventure.

Despite repeated requests for more information, Brian had remained silent as he led the way out of the hotel and through the streets towards Duckett’s Passage. Once they’d made it halfway down the alley, Brian gripped Cynthia’s elbow lightly and pulled her to a stop beside him. Then he steeled his nerves and launched into his incredible story.

“Cyn,” he cleared his throat nervously. “What I’m about to tell you is going to sound like I’ve lost my fucking mind, but you need to just let me finish, okay?”

“Uh . . . alright,” she replied as she looked around the darkened alley, clearly confused.

Brian weighed his words for a minute trying to come up with some way to explain things that wouldn’t make him sound like a total nutcase, but came up blank. He was just going to have to dive in and hope it worked. If not . . . Well, he’d figure out what came next as he went.

“It’s about Justin . . . about how we met.”

Cynthia leaned heavily against the wall. “I’m listening. Go on . . .”

“See, he's not from here . . .” Brian began, hesitatingly.

“The accent kind of gave that away,” she rolled her eyes.

“No, I don’t mean here, as in London. I mean here as in . . . now . . .”

“Brian,” Cynthia laughed softly. “You’re making no fucking sense. Did you take something before you came knocking for me?” He knew she was kidding, but he couldn’t blame her. Just listening to himself try and explain this was giving him a major fucking headache.

“See, I . . . I was having a smoke back here one night and got caught in a storm.” Damn, he sounded ridiculous. “And then there was this lightning strike and, well . . .” Oh, fuck it, there was no way to make this sound sane; he’d better just get it over with. “I woke up with a cut on my head . . . remember when you were still back in the States and we had that meeting on Skype and you asked what I’d been up to? Well, I . . . fuck, this is going to sound like I’m crazy . . . but when I woke up, I was no longer in . . .” he lowered his voice, “2016.”

Cynthia brought her hand up to her mouth to stifle the laugh that she was desperately trying to keep in. “Brian, I . . . shit, Brian, you’re hilarious.” She looked like she was finding it harder and harder to keep a straight face. “Why are you winding me up like this?” she asked as she looked around. “And why do I feel like something is going to jump out at me?”

“Nothing is going to jump out at you for fuck’s sake, Cyn. Listen, I know this sounds insane - hell, it IS insane - but it’s also the truth. After I hit my head, I woke up and I was no longer in 2016; I was back in . . . 1941.”

The look on Cynthia’s face at any other time would have been priceless, but he needed her to know he was serious, so he didn’t smile along with her.

“Brian, you’re really starting to freak me out.”

“I don’t mean to, but I really need you to believe me,” Brian said, as he felt her eyes on him causing him to look up. “Can you please do that?”

Cynthia’s smile faded but she nodded her head.

“Do you trust me?” Brian heard himself ask as he reached for Cynthia’s hand and gripped it tightly. He knew, once they crossed through into 1941 and she realized the enormity of what he was showing her, the woman would appreciate the contact.

“Usually I would say yes,” Cynthia smiled nervously. “But right now I can’t tell whether or not this is all some elaborate prank.”

Brian smiled and squeezed her hand more tightly. “I promise I’m not pulling your leg. But, listen, none of this is going to make any sense to you - hell, it still doesn’t make any fucking sense to me sometimes either. You’re going to just need to trust me, okay?”

Cynthia nodded. “Fine. So, where are we going?” she asked as Brian pulled her over till they were right up against the dirty brick wall.

“Through there,” Brian explained as he pointed their joined hands towards the spot next to the wall where the invisible time rift should be.

Cynthia scoffed, but watched in silence as Brian walked them along the wall with his arm held out stiffly in front of him. He turned his head and studied her face closely as they continued walking. It was almost comical the way the woman’s eyes bugged out when their hands encountered the portal and, bit by bit, their bodies disappeared before their very eyes.

“Very clever, Brian. How did you do that?” Cynthia asked suspiciously when they’d emerged on the other side and she could once more see all her body parts.

Brian knew it wouldn’t be as easy as just walking her through the portal. Cynthia wasn’t one to just believe what you told her. She was too analytical and he knew he’d have to actually show her around to prove to her that he wasn’t kidding.

“I told you,” Brian repeated his earlier words quietly to her. “I have no idea how any of this works but it does.”

“You’re such a pain in the ass,” she laughed and tried to pull her hand away but Brian just pulled her closer towards him.

“Stay close to me,” Brian ordered, looking around nervously as they exited Duckett’s Passage and letting out a loud sigh of relief when he saw that no one was hanging around. “Just follow my lead. And don’t say anything, at least not till I tell you it’s okay.”

At any other time, Cynthia would have happily told him where to shove it, but this evening she remained uncharacteristically quiet, something that unnerved Brian to his core. It didn’t help that he was usually great at reading people, but right now he had no idea what the woman next to him was thinking.

They walked in silence towards The White Lion. Out of the corner of his eye, Brian could see his faithful assistant looking around, taking in the people that passed them by, all of whom were dressed in period clothing. Her face was expressionless, making it difficult for Brian to read her reactions. The smell of smoke hung heavily in the air; Brian was used to the slight sting in his lungs as he breathed in, but Cynthia coughed violently and pulled up the collar of the long overcoat Brian had lent her until it covered her nose.

Brian could feel Cynthia’s fingers digging into his biceps. He covered her hand with his own, trying to reassure the woman. And then, arms linked together, they made their way the final few meters down the block towards the White Lion.

“Welcome to 1941 and London in the Blitz,” Brian whispered quietly into her ear.