JUSTIN

“You too?! What exactly is awful about it?” I protest.

“This requires an answer?” He looks incredulous and then rolls his eyes when I nod and, despite his shoving efforts, hold my ground.  “The colour, the style, the hood...seriously the hood, the only redeeming feature is that it keeps you warm I guess.”

“Wow, say what you mean!” I grumble.

“So, who else has seen the sartorial disadvantages of those threads?”

“My folks, but just you three, I can assure you that’s it.”

“Oh no it isn’t.” He scoffs and I frown. “Nobody likes that cardigan and I can prove it. Let's have an office poll. If people vote “like” then you can take it but if they vote “ugh”, I get to cut it up.”

“Deal.” I smile smugly, sure that everyone will see the merits of my cardigan...two hours later, I am staring mournfully at the pile of my decimated cardigan, and then scowl at Brian’s retreating back as he heads whistling back to his office. I catch Kelly’s smirk. “You are sure you counted correctly and…”

“You were the only one that voted like.” She shows me the poll again. “It really was hideous.”

“I can always get another exactly like it.” I point out.

“Not if you want to work on another campaign with me again!” Murph shouts across the room.

I poke my tongue out and find the website I got it from. “It is on sale! I can get as many as I want!” I crow.

“Mr Slim…” I jump at Brian’s voice. “...buy even one and next week doesn’t happen.” I can feel my cheeks warm. “So, as I was trying to say to you before you unwisely agreed to set up that poll, Ted saved you some lunch, it is in the kitchen.”

“Thank you Mr Kinney.” I mutter then head to the kitchen. When I open the fridge I find the food and as I reach for it my phone beeps: Don’t sulk, Tigger, I will buy you a proper cardigan before we go. BK.

TAYLOR RESIDENCE - SATURDAY MORNING

DINING ROOM

CRAIG

“Oh, darling! You have to come and see this!” I guffaw as I look at the picture that Justin has sent me. “Seems that we and Brian have something else in common.”

“What’s that?” She smiles as she comes in. “Would it be a mutual hatred of that cardigan?”

“He sent it to you too?” I smirk.

“Oh yes. I don’t know what he used on it, but that cannot be salvaged. And speaking of salvaging, Delores has texted to say we have to keep next Friday evening free.”

“We weren’t doing anything were we?” I quickly check our calendars and there’s nothing in there. “No, we’re not, so what are we doing?”

“Going to a welcome back party for Foghorn Wighorn.”

“Where did she go?” I frown.

“She didn’t say. Oh she said the dress code is celebration.”

“What does…”

“Hang on. It means, before you ask, wear what you would wear for strapping on a pair.”

“Pair of what?” I laugh.

“No idea, but I can’t wait to find out! But I have a feeling that it has something to do with a certain Mr Kinney. Now come along…”

“Where are we going?” I quickly gather my things and follow her out. “It’s quite early, I only came down because I could hear my phone.”

“I know. Which is why…” She looks through her lashes at me. “...we are going to take this bottle of champagne and go back to bed.”

“Yes, Mrs Taylor.” I leer at her.

DEB’S HOUSE - SAME TIME

KITCHEN

DEBS

I look down my list and there is a fair few people on there. I will have a lot of calls to make. The first port of call, I suppose, is to that boyfriend stealing bitch Delores, though that being said I haven’t heard much of them dating. In fact, I haven’t seen much of Carl at all on the Avenue. I look up as Michael comes down looking a little pissed.

“What’s wrong?”

“Lindsay has just called. Mel, the lummox and the kids are going to meet us at our old house…”

“So? This was the rough plan, wasn’t it?” I frown.

“Yeah. But she said that Mel said it is looking so much better now!”

“What is looking so much better?” I hate it when he whines in riddles!

“The house! Apparently it’s been completely redecorated from top to bottom. Ben was particularly pleased that the shitfuck skull paper has gone. We spent ages finding that!”

“I know! Ungrateful bastard!” I grumble and then look at the time. “Come on, let’s get moving, I want to pass by and see Emmett before we get there. We don’t want them to accuse us of being late. Now that you’ve paid the support up to date, we get to say where they have Jenny living and get to help them pick the house.”

“Why do you want to see him?” He looks puzzled.

“Because, I don’t want that slop that they serve at the diner for my party. I want the stuff he serves, as is only proper for the Mother of the Avenue.”

“Absolutely! As for the house, we’ve got to make sure that it’s perfect for us too! I wonder where it will be. I can’t wait to see their faces...” He smirks. “...especially when Lindsay tells her about working in my store.”

EMMETT’S HOUSE - AN HOUR LATER

HALLWAY

EMMETT

I can’t believe that yet again I have been rendered dumbstruck by Debbie Novotny and her demands regarding my business! Sighing, I wave them into my kitchen, then I grab my iPad and pour myself a cup of coffee. Michael looks pointedly at the machine and I pointedly ignore him.

“So, say that again.” I order tiredly.

“What have you been up to, Ems?” Michael snarks. “Taking after Brian and fucking and sucking all night?”

“Yes, I am getting your share!” I bite out. “Now Debs, repeat that please.”

“The Avenue is throwing me a welcome back from your sus...holiday party in the diner. I don’t know who is organising it, but whoever it is needs to come through you for the food. And since I am so particular, there are certain foods that I want and these are the people.”

I take the sheaves of paper off her and peruse them carefully. “Hmm. Well that’s quite a list there, but you need to find out who is organising it, so that I can liaise with them directly.”

“Ma knows what she wants, so why can you just deal with her and then deal with the other person?” He suggests, moving towards the machine, which I promptly switch off.

“Are you happy to do this?” I ask trying to keep the zeal out of my voice.

“Of course!” She replies airily. “So what happens now?”

“Well, I give you the menu and you approve it…” I wince as he yanks the iPad out of my hands. “...don’t order amounts yet…”

“It’s next week!” Michael exclaims. “And there’s a lot of people that love Ma and want to celebrate her! Besides, if there is any food left over, which I doubt, then we can take it home with us can’t we?”

I can barely contain myself as they go through ordering the highest of the high end stuff until they have ‘spent’ almost $2,000...and that is just food.

“We will do drinks afterwards.” Michael declares before looking at his watch. “So, we can leave this with you, right? Ma and I have to go and see Mel and Ben...we have news to share! Hopefully, they will have some food there, as I could murder a cup of coffee.” He bitches, but my only reaction is to smile tightly and take my iPad back.

“You are absolutely sure about this?” I ask again. “If so, you need to sign at the bottom.” She signs with a flourish and then they, mercifully, make their own way out of my house and I fight the urge to call for an exorcism!

As I save the order, I smile to myself, your usurious nature is going to bite you in your very large fat ass! Your time is coming and I can’t wait!

INSIDE BRIAN’S CAR OUTSIDE JUSTIN’S TOWNHOUSE - 20 MINUTES LATER

BRIAN

I can’t help the stupid grin I have on my face. He keeps glowering at me. He is still pouting about the murder of his cardigan.

His mood has not been helped by his parents saying they are going to send me a bottle of champagne as thanks. Not even the promise of a Gucci-bought-in-Italy cardigan has ameliorated his mood. “How about a vampire kiss?” I ask, switching off the engine and turning to face him, but he turns his face to the window. “You do realise that I can see you in the mirror. You are trying not to smile and your eyes are full of yearning?”

“I am not…” His sentence is cut off when I stroke the back of his neck. “...don’t. I am trying to be pissed off at you for murdering my cardigan.”

I lean across and lift his beautiful soft hair then plant a butterfly kiss right in the middle of the back of his neck. “Still mad?” I ask as I lean back and he shakes his head before turning to face me and slowly starting to smile. “So, yes or no?”

“No we’d better not. I am nervous enough…”

“Don’t be. He has very good taste in men, he takes after me in that respect.”

“Arrogant nutter!” He scoffs and puts on his seatbelt.

“Ribbit!” I snicker as we pull out into traffic.

MEL’S TEMPORARY HOME - AN HOUR LATER

LOUNGE

BEN

I really like what they have done to the place. It’s softer and it feels like a hug, unlike the whacked out schizzo feeling it had before. Towards the end I spent more time in the library because I would have migraines just sitting in here, but then again it could’ve had something to do with his consistent drone.

“Momma!” Gus calls out coming down the stairs carefully. “Is Daddy here yet?”

“No darling, not yet. Why not sit and watch for him to come? You can sit right here and see his car drive up. You know his car don’t you?”

“Oh yes, Momma! When we spokes to him last night, he said he’s gots something for me to read. Do you know what it is Momma?”

“Yes.” Mel smiles and winks at me. “But I’m not telling you. Nor is Uncle Ben.”

He turns slowly to face me, his mini-Kinney evil grin starting to appear on his face. “Uncle Ben, have you been keepiting secrets from me?”

I chuckle at his deliberate mispronunciation so I don’t correct him. “Who me? I would never do that to my favourite nephew.” I smile as he creeps up to me fingers flexing. “Oh no, not the Tickly Wickly, don’t use the Tickly Wickly on me! Jenny you must save your Papa!” She toddles over determinedly with a big smile on her face and clambers into my lap.

“Oh, Jenny can’t save you from the Tickly Wickly! Nobody can save you from that! Tell me, Uncle Ben! Tell me! Or…” The door knocking stops his threats and he rushes to the window. “It’s Grandma Debs, Uncle Michael and Mommy!” He cries and bounces up and down as Mel opens the door. “Hello! Hello!” He screams at them, Lindsay sweeps him up and covers him in kisses and her eyes shimmer with tears...great! “Mommy are you okay?!” He asks concerned.

“Yes, darling, I just missed you, that’s all.” She goes to smell his neck and I suppress my gag reflex then my chuckle as he squirms away.

“Don’t Mommy! Only Daddy gets neck bubbles, thems my favourite kisses after Momma’s! I need you to put me down Mommy, I want to watch for Daddy’s car.”

Ouch!

They, all three of them, treat me like I am invisible, so I relish the squawk of indignation that Jenny lets out when Michael takes her off my lap.

“Michael!” Mel growls but he smugly ignores her and goes to sit on the sofa.

“How’s my little Honeybun?” He coos at her. For a few seconds she just stares at him before frowning and bursting into tears. “What have you done, Ben?!” He glares at me.

“Sat here and played with her until you came along and took her off me…” I get up, walk over to them and immediately her arms go up. “...let her go, Michael, unless you want her to get louder.” For a few seconds the only thing that could be heard is her grizzling, which immediately stops when I take her in my arms. “There’s my girl.” I kiss her on her cheek and she burrows into my neck.

“I would like to hold my granddaughter if you please.”

“Seems she doesn’t want to be held by anyone but Ben right now.” We all turn to see Carl in the doorway with Delores. “So let’s leave it that way for now. We don’t want further unpleasant…”

“DADDY!” Gus screams from the window and rushes to the door. “Please Grampy Carl I wants to hugs my Daddy so bad!”

Carl smiles and steps aside and I watch Mel turn her head to wipe her eye as Gus zooms outside.

And judging by the expressions on their faces, they were not expecting Brian at all!

BRIAN

I had barely got out of the car when a blur hits my legs. “Sonny Boy!” I shout and pick him up and find my face being peppered with kisses. “Let me look at you before you wash my face!” I laugh and finally he stops kissing me. “You look wonderful!”

“Oh Daddy! Daddy!” He laughs. “Neck bubbles Daddy! Neck bubbles!”

“Just one or do you want more than one?” I ask standing him on the car.

“Lots and lots and lots and lots!” He replies tilting his head up and I make him giggle and squirm blowing bubbles on him. Then he stops squirming and laughing, sits down on the bonnet and stares in the window. “Daddy? Who is that pretty man?”

I beckon Justin out of the car and he does so with a shy smile. “Gus, this is Justin. Justin, this is my son, Gus and…”

“He also calls me Sonny Boy.” He stares wide eyed at him. “You are so pretty!”

“Thank you, and you are very handsome.” Justin replies with a wider smile.

“Daddy! He’s more pretty when he smiles! What does hands men mean?”

“Handsome Sonny Boy, he said handsome. And it means you take after Daddy in the way you look.”

“Oh goody! Um, Daddy…” He beckons me down to his level. “...can I take him in to say hello?”

“Why don’t you ask him?” I reply quietly.

“Can I take you in to say hello?”

“I would like that very much.” Justin replies, and I only wince a little when Gus walks across the bonnet towards him.

“Can I jump, Daddy?” He looks hopefully over his shoulder at me and with a nod from Justin, I smile. “Catch me!”

“Got you!” Justin cries and then adjusts him slightly in his arms.

“You need to go into that house there!” He points excitedly. “Daddy, keep up!”

“Okay, Sonny Boy I’m coming!” I shake my head at the snort that comes from Justin.

LOUNGE

DELORES

Oh dear Lord, all hell is going to break loose! I look quickly at Carl and he’s thinking exactly the same thing, and he’s looking forward to it!

All three of them have commandeered the sofa looking piously at the door.

“Did you know he was coming?” Lindsay demands of Mel who just rolls her eyes. “What was that for? I thought we were supposed to be civil? How is making a face at me being civil?”

“Because, you have your goldfish on. Again. I told all three of you that we were coming to see Brian, it stands to reason he would come here!”

“Guys.” Carl is smiling as he heads to the door. “They are coming back in.”

Three pairs of eyes swivel to the door and the first person through is not Brian, as I suspect they expected, but a grinning Gus in the arms of Justin.

“What the…” Debs begins but Lindsay clears her throat hard.

“Everybody! Everybody!” He wriggles in Justin’s arms and he puts him down. “Everybody...this pretty man is...is…” He stops and then tugs on Justin’s hand. “Can we go back outsides again?”

“Why do you need to do that, Sonny Boy?” Brian frowns.

“Because, I wants to do it good, like you, Daddy.” He replies, and looks earnestly at him.

“Sure. You go on outside.” Brian smiles while the rest of us frown, when the door closes he chuffs a laugh. “He forgot his name.”

“Grampy Carl opens the door please!” Gus yells at the top of his lungs.

“Everybody!” Gus starts again as he tows Justin in. “This pretty man is called Justin. And he is Daddy’s special friend.”

“Special friend?” Mel asks, smiling.

“Yes, Momma. He only lets special people, like me, in his car. And Justin was in his car.”

“I’ve been in his car lots of times, Gus.” Michael says.

“Not that car, Uncle Michael. Outside is Daddy and my car.” He says proudly. “I helped pick it didn’t I Daddy?”

“Yes you did, Sonny Boy.”

“Unc Bri!” Jenny squeals from Ben’s arms as they come downstairs from the bathroom, Ben laughs as she strains in his arms to reach her favourite Unc.

“Hey, Brian, you okay?” Ben asks kissing him on the cheek as he hands her over.

“Good, Ben, good. You are looking well. What do you think?” He turns to Mel and gives her a one armed hug. “Hey Smelly how was the flight?”

“Excuse me, you two!” Lindsay cuts across their chat, keeping it civil for all she’s worth. “But my son was introducing Justin.” And judging by that face she didn’t get the reaction she was hoping for. “So, Gus when you…”

“Mommy. Daddy taughted me how to do this already. So, Justin, this is my Mommy, my Grandma Debs and Uncle Michael. Now the bestest people cos I gets to see them lots are…”  He points as he introduces us. “...Grampy Carl, Auntie Del, Uncle Ben, Momma and my bestest sister Jenny. Oh wait, the other bestest is outside but he’s not a person. He’s a dog called Tyson.”

I dare to sneak a look at the three monkeys of not see their evil, keep doing their evil and keep speaking their evil and they look sucker punched.

“Justin.” Debs sickly sweet tones would send a diabetic into a coma. “How is your mother?”

“Fine, thank you.” He replies coolly. “As is my father and any other relation you wish to ask about.”

“So, why are you here?” Michael glares at him.

“To meet my audience.” He replies and starts to dig in his bag.

“Your audience?” Lindsay questions.

“Yeah. As you may or may not know. Ben, Justin and I were going to produce a comic but we’re not going to do that anymore.”

The gleam in that manchild’s eye could be seen from space. “Oh, and why’s that Brian?” He smarms.

“Because I’ve been…” Ben begins.

“I was asking Brian not you, Ben?” He replies tightly.

“Well, since I know the answer to your question, I suggest you listen.” He replies, his smile nowhere near his eyes. “I took it around to a publisher friend of mine and he says, like I thought, it should be a book. Not a puerile comic. A book.”

“A book? Why a book?” Justin looks stunned.

“That is for discussion between the four of us.” Mel smiles at him.

“The four of you?” Lindsay demands. “Why…”

“Brian offered me a share in it and I said yes. And that’s all you are finding out.”

“Daddy!” Gus exclaims. “You needs to meet Tyson!”

“Yes, Sonny Boy, I do and…”

“Justin too! He has to meet him as well! Momma, can I take them outside?”

“Yes Gus you can.” Mel laughs.

“Thank you, Momma!” He turns beaming towards them. “You are going to love, love, love Tyson. Come on!”

Brian adjusts Jenny in his hold and they follow him out. I wait for the door to close, and don’t even get to one before the shrieking starts!

“What book?!” What the hell have you done in here?!” “How dare you not let me hold my granddaughter?!” Is spat out by the tiresome trio.

“Shut the fuck up!” Mel snaps in such a way that stuns them into silence. “The book is none of your business. Smartened it up and because she doesn’t want to be held by you!” She barks out.

“Well, aren’t you masterful?!” Lindsay sneers. “If you were that way in bed, perhaps I wouldn’t have had to seek pleasure elsewhere!”

“Nice one, Lindz!” Michael laughs. “And speaking of nice ones, we have news! Want to tell her?”

“Oh yes. Thank you Michael for the praise and the platform.” She smirks. “Michael has hired me as…his store manager on a salaried basis.”

“His store manager? Well at least the store will be open every day. But I don’t understand why should this be any of my concern?”

“Well, with you being a partner in the business, you will be paying me to work there...you know spousal support.”

“Oh, I see. And how much is your salary a year?”

“$50,000.” She smirks.

“You need to sell a lot more comics Michael, as I won’t be paying Lindsay a dime. You see, as per the agreement, you are responsible for the everyday running of the store, which includes the paying of salary of each and every employee. I, like Ben before me, am responsible for cash injections. And as you’ve just had one, you are not due another until next year. And by that time I strongly doubt I will be your partner, I may exercise my opt out option, which means I sell my share of the store back to you for a nominal amount like say 50 cents to be rid of all future responsibilities. I take it you have signed your contract, Lindsay?”

“Of course I have.”

“Like I said, Michael, you need to sell a lot more comics.” She laughs and then we all turn to the sound of a returning Brian and Justin.

MICHAEL

“What does any of that mean?” I snap.

“It means you have hired one very expensive, but very lazy bitch! And she will make you honour her contract unless, of course, you fire her.” Her smile is lethal. “And if you do fire her, father of Jenny or not, she will sue you from here to eternity!”

I am about to say something when Jenny comes in. “Come to Daddy, Honeybun!” I call out and want to scream and punch the smug look off of Ben’s face when she goes to him! But at least Lindsay and I are in the same zone, child wise, Gus has not come to her ever since Brian arrived.

“Daddy, can you tell me now?”

“Oh, let me see. Has he been good, Mel?”

“Yes.” She replies smiling.

“Okay. Justin wants you to read something.”

“He does? Why?” He turns to look at the twink.

“Because he wants to write a book about animals being brave, kind, funny and smart that kind of thing. And he wants a very smart and brave big boy to look at it, to make sure it’s not scary to other children the same age as him.”

“Really, Daddy? I gets to be a hero and make sure nobody gets scareded?”

“Scared, you mean scared. And yes, you do. So would you like to sit with Justin and read it?”

“Jenny can read...oh she’s going to sleep.” He peers at Jenny. “Uncle Ben, you should take her to her room…” I try not to smile at that. “...and then I can sit on your lap to read with Justin, can’t I?”

“Yes, Gus, you can. I won’t be long.”

“Maybe we can give her a bath, Ben?” Manager bitch says, and with a nod from Mel she follows him upstairs.

“Aunt Delores, I’m coming too!” Gus hollers and she picks him up and carries him upstairs.

I look across at Ma and she is close to exploding. Brian has not acknowledged her since he got here. I am not having that after all she did for him! “Brian…”

“Now, finally, I get to greet you, Debs. Sorry about that, but you know how I get when Gus is about!”

Well so much for fucking exploding! Just like that she falls under his fucking spell. He can do no fucking wrong!

“I do indeed, honey. How are you? You’re looking a lot better than when I last saw you. You really didn’t look very well.”

“Better. Look, can we have the sofa?  It will be too cold and too tight with the three of them on the window seat?”

“Sure! Come on you two, move!”  She orders. “You can sit over by the window.”

After we get settled by the window and she takes the seat that Ben was in, I turn to Brian. “So, now that you aren’t doing a comic with him. This means you and I can…”

“No. You and I are not doing anything at all. Ever.” He retorts.

“What do you mean? You don’t even know what…”

“A comic. You want me to do a comic with you and use my artists at Kinnetic to help it come to fruition. That’s what you want us to do. Or don’t you remember screaming like a buzz saw, assaulting Ben, and your actions subsequently getting your mother suspended from work for two weeks?”

I feel my face heat and look across at Ma and she glares at me.

“Assault, what is this about an assault?” Columbo demands.

“You are over exaggerating as usual Brian!” I declare.

“So you didn’t shove him in the chest three times, and you didn't stop him from leaving? I know the owner and saw the video. You were overly aggressive Michael, if Ben was feeling that way inclined, he could report you.”

“Brian, can you speak to the owner and arrange for me to see this?” Mel asks looking at me as if I had committed murder not just shoved the lummox in his chest a few times.

“Yeah, no problem.”

As usual, he gets me in trouble!

“So, this book.” Lindsay interrupts. “Who is going to do the artwork for it? I assume there is going to be artwork and not just the story that Justin is writing.”

“Justin is doing the entire thing.” Brian replies in the same cold tone he used with me...I don’t understand it, and judging by the frown neither does she. “He’s got enough work for at least three books. And before you ask, the answer is no, you cannot look at it.”

“But since I have…”

“No. As Brian said you can’t look at it.” Justin retorts.

Before she or I can give him the slapdown he deserves, the lummox, the bitch and Gus come downstairs. Gus immediately runs to the sofa. “Justin, can I see now, pleeeeaaassee?”

“Yes, you can see now, but I need to get them in order first. Can you wait a bit?” Gus nods and he smiles at him in the most sickening way and has the nerve to look nervous!

JUSTIN

He is the most gorgeous little boy in the world. He has all of Brian’s charm, looks and vulnerability and thankfully just a bit of his mother’s hair colour. I pull out my pads and put them in a separate pile.

“Can I look at those?” He asks pointing to the pile.

“Yeah, sure.” I reply distractedly as I try to get the story in order.

“Daddy! It’s my bear!” Gus suddenly exclaims and I go cold...no, no and hell the fuck no!

“What’s your bear Sonny Boy?”

“Uh, Gus…”

“This Daddy! It is isn’t it?!” I get up but he rushes to where Brian is standing before I can stop him.

I watch Brian slowly flick through that pad and then look at me. “Yes, Sonny Boy, that is your bear. And do you know what else?”

“No Daddy.”

“You know Biggy and Biggidy?”

“Yes.”

“Justin drew them for you.”

“He did!” He exclaims before turning to face me. “You did?! I loves them so much! They are going to be above my bed like they were in Canada.” I am now on the receiving end of a knee hug so tight that it is almost cutting off my circulation.

But that is not my main focus, it is Brian. “Gus, I won’t be long, I just need to put away Justin’s special pad, okay?”

“Yes Daddy.”

Oh crap!

“How about you show Gus the book?” Ben suggests and pries Gus off of me, so I can sit down and he sits next to me. “Now, Gus, I want you to sit between us and read the book to yourself. If you have any questions or don’t understand big words, I want you to say, okay?”

“Yes, Uncle Ben.” He answers almost desperate to take the book off of me, I put it over his little knees and open it up...and he gasps. “You drew him?” I nod. “His name is Tyson like Tyson!”

Brian comes in just then and sits next to Ben. My heart sinks, but I concentrate on Gus, and for the next hour, he reads, asks questions, giggles and smiles through it all.

“So, Sonny Boy, what do you think?”

“Daddy, this is the bestest book ever!” Then he yawns. “But now I am tired. I think I need to go to sleep, can you take me up Daddy?”

“Sure, Sonny Boy.” When he reaches down for him, he doesn’t look at me...double crap!

He’s not upstairs long and when he comes down he sits between Ben and I, then he whispers...ribbit...and I breathe.

“Now that we are child free…” Lindsay begins.

“Child free?” Mel snorts. “Before he was my son. He was Gus. A total case of out of sight out of mind! And let’s not begin to point out how much you noticed Jenny!”

“What I meant was…”

“What you said!” Ben interjects.

“What the fuck does any of this conversation have to do with you? Shouldn’t you be going back to Canada where you now live?” Michael snipes.

“As I know you noticed, judging by that pinched expression earlier, I am here for Mel, Jenny and Gus. I am someone, unlike you, they know they can rely on to be there for them at all times, not just to make a point. Because I know how you operate, Michael. There is no way in hell you have paid off the support unless you want something, so what is it? Let’s stop this farcical caring shitshow and get to the core of the matter. What do the three of you want?”

MEL

Go Ben! I look across at Brian and he is nodding in agreement. I clear my throat and that brings their attention to me. “So, answer the question, why have you been so co-operative?”

“We want to have the final say on where Jenny lives.” Michael answers.

“Of course, not a problem.” Ben replies, and the room goes quiet. “Just let us know where you guys are going to live. Obviously, Gus is going to be upset to be separated from his sister, but you three are going to explain why you are taking her away to live with you in a house you’ve paid for right?”

Silence.

“Thought not.” Ben sighs. “As per usual, you want autonomy and rights where it is undeserved. The only people who have a say in where the children live are those who are paying towards the house. So that means, Brian, Mel and…”

“And there is no and!” Lindsay exclaims.

“Yes there is. I have been paying for years, where do you think he got the money from on the rare occasions Brian wouldn’t give it to him? So the three of us are going to have the final decision.”

“But you are not even...”

“Not even what, Lindsay? Blood related? Maybe not but still I made the payments, unlike you or Michael. And Gus and Jenny sure as hell like me more than you or Michael. Unlike you, I was called one of Gus’s bestest people, remember?”

“Down boy.” Brian laughs. “Enough with baiting them, let’s make a decision. So, we are agreed on the area right?”

“No, we are NOT! I refuse to let my granddaughter live where it will take me hours to get there to visit her. So you better make sure to move to the area where I live. Even better, you move into my neighbourhood!” With a satisfied grin Deb leans back in her chair.

“As I was saying, before I got interrupted, we agreed on the area? So it's just down to where exactly you are moving, right? I still don’t know why you insist on this house. I get, that you think it’s all homey but, come on, this one is so much better. It's bigger and newer and...just look at it!” Brian almost pleaded.

“Exactly, Brian, look at it! It’s beautiful, yes, but it’s too big, it is huge! I am working, Brian, and I can’t afford neither do I want staff. So that leaves me spending all my free time cleaning and mowing!”

“They’ll grow into it!”” He argues. “And I will pay for the staff!”

“May I make a suggestion?!” Carl interrupts, laughing, and we nod. “How about you show us the pictures. First your choice Mel.”

“In my defence it was raining…”

Debs almost burns my fingers snatching the picture away from me. “Where is this? This is not somewhere round Liberty Avenue or where I live. It’s not too fancy but nice enough. I like this one.”

“In that case, Brian, you win!” I decree and he grins.

“Yes! Gus will be ecstatic.”

“Gus? Kinney what have you been up to?” I demand.

“Nothing. Nothing at all.” He replies but then glares when Ben clears his throat...hard. Twice.

“Spill it!” I have been had!

“I may have shown him the garden before I showed him the house and someone, may have explained to him that Tyson would need lots and lots and lots of garden to run about in as he grows up.”

“Just show it to us!” Delores sighs.

“Voilà! Look at the soon to be Chez Mel and kids!” He crows as he unrolls the A1 sized picture...the toad!

“With a Ben annex!” He adds and I concede, I know when I am beat...and beat I am!

“Oh my goodness, that is gorgeous!” Delores exclaims. “How many bedrooms?”

“Six.”

“Six! Why do you need a six bedroom house?!” Lindsay exclaims.

“I don't need a six bedroom house, this is what I am saddled with. Oh, don’t look like that, Lindsay, after all wasn’t it you who always told me that come hell or highwater, Brian gets what he wants? Oh that’s perfect! We will call it Highwater!”

“So.” Brian stands up and rifles in his pockets. “Here are the keys to Highwater.” He smirks as he holds them out and I take them in stunned silence. “Now you have a budget of oh let me see...unlimited to make this the home you want. Ben, these are your keys.” He jangles them in front of his smiling face. “And there is something in the garage for you both...a top of the range SUV for you Smelly and Ben a very nice tricked out Beetle for you.”

“Brian...I...you...what...Kinney, you really are un-fucking-believable!”

“It’s true, I am!” He grins. “So take the car, smile and be happy with it, ok Smelly? After all you will be driving our kids. Geez, that sounds wrong on so many levels!” He shivers.

“Oh shut it, Kinney!” I laugh. “And thank you! For this amazing house and the car! The kids will love both of them!”

JUSTIN

I have been sitting here quietly, not saying a word but with each second, each word he says, every thought and each deed my love for him grows. “Brian.” I call out and he turns around. “If you want to have the day with Gus tomorrow it will be…”

“Yes, I want to have tomorrow with Gus. And you! And I think Tyson! So let's think about what we want to do, later when we are back at the loft. That is if you come to the loft with me after we are finished here.” He looks into my eyes and winks.

“Sure, I’d like that. To go to the Loft, I mean. And spend the day with Gus and you.”

“Excuse me, but what the fuck is going on with you two?” The Gimp demands.

“So, are we finished here? I can leave you all to handle them, right?” He looks at Mel and she nods.

“I asked you a question, Brian!” He repeats.

“And his lack of answer should tell you it’s none of your business.” Mel snaps. “Or would you like to get in his face too?”

“I…”

“Be quiet, Michael!” Debs blasts him.

“Oh, thanks, Ma!” She beams at his thanks oblivious to his sarcasm. “And as for you.” He grins at me. “I have this held at the store. If we go now, we can pick it up and you can wear it to Tuscany.” He hands me a piece of paper and I gasp. “Now this is better than your recently deceased cardigan.”

“Brian, this is too much!”

“No it isn’t. I shouldn’t have been so enthusiastic.” He turns back to Mel. “So I’ll call you tonight to arrange tomorrow?”

“Yeah, you guys go. Can you make the call early so Gus can chat to you too? I mean you two too.”

“Absolutely. Later, Smelly, Ben.” He holds out his hand for me and it takes everything not to explode with longing, when I take it. “Carl, Del, I will see you, sorry we will see you when we get back. You guys want to come round for dinner on Thursday?”

“Sure, Son. We’ll see you then.” Carl replies.

Brian turns and smiles at me. “You got everything?”

“Yeah. Everything I want and need is right in front of me, so lead on.” There is silence as he tows me a la Gus out of the house but as the door closes the hissing of the snakes starts!

We get into the car and as soon as the doors are closed he leans towards me, looking like a true predator. “Anything you want to confess, Mr. Slim?” He asks and I gulp, not able to say one word.