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CHAPTER 64 - ...IF HE COULD FIND A WAY


MICHAEL

 

“From me? From me? What does that…”

 

“There was no way you were going to keep that watch, not without him giving it to you.” She drains her cup. “No way were you just going to keep it.” She looks over her cup at me. “I birthed you, Michael, and I know you a lot more than you think.”

 

“Did you ever want Brian and me to be together?” I croak.

 

“At the time, part of me did, because maybe some of his polish, his gloss, his drive, hell even his snark with finesse would rub off on you. But as time wore on and you bored on, I realised Vic was right, you two should not be together. But it was too late then. The life we were set to lead was too comfortable, and like you said at the time, he owed us.”

 

“But…”

 

“You need to eat something, you’ve just thrown up and are still looking a little peaky. Excuse me, must go powder my nose.”

 

I can’t believe what she has just said to me. I continue to gawk at the door she’s just followed the guard out of. “Sit down, Mr Grassi.” Anita tells me.

 

“But I need to speak to my Ma…”

 

“Then you do it when there is the stenographer and an attorney present. Sit down.” I drop into the seat and think about what she's said. The words are like daggers to my heart. So what she wrote in her diary was true, she wanted him as a son and not me?! I am glad that he suffered what he suffered then. Just because my wounds aren’t visible doesn’t mean they aren’t as painful or as deep.

 

DEBS

 

When I come back in I see the expression on his face. I know it for what it is now, it’s his I’m going to get you in trouble look. Well bring it on, little boy, bring it on!

 

BRIAN AND JUSTIN’S CAR - SAME TIME

 

FREDERICK

 

Good grief, they are going to kill the suspension if they don’t calm down! I am trying to get them to the hotel parking lot without drawing too much attention to the rocking car. I found this place on a recon, at the request of Justin. It has a small garden, which allows me to be far enough away not to overhear, but close enough should I be called into service. However, the press have been, on the whole, largely respectful of the privacy that they requested. Whether they would be if they knew how they sometimes used their private time is another matter!

 

“Yes, Tigger!” Brian calls out as I finally find a space and get out. “More! More!”

 

I slam the door and hear them be locked from the inside, so at least they heard through their sex-haze! Speaking of sexy, I smile as the call from Lynette comes through promptly, I hear her giggling and ordering Daphne to switch the intercom off before she puts me on speaker!

 

“Hello there, you sound in a good mood.”

 

“I am! How’s it going with you?”

 

“They are having their not so quiet time at the moment!”

 

“Ah, I see! Where are you? You sound like you are outside.”

 

“Just sitting in the garden of the hotel near the courthouse. So what’s put a pep in your step?”

 

“Guess who hates where they live now and are demanding that they be found somewhere else? And guess who has said no.”

 

“Oh now would that be two clawing cawing vultures that your dad is refusing to be carrion for?”

 

“Yes it would. And on top of that, although they have managed to get the subpoena delayed, it is only until next week. Her pregnancy was not mitigating enough as she profited from the diary after she got pregnant.”

 

“It gets better and better for them doesn’t it?” She goes quiet. “Lynette, are you alright?”

 

“Yes I am fine. It’s, well, it’s just when the baby comes, how do you feel about it?”

 

I actually frown at the phone. “I have always thought you would be an excellent mother and having finally gotten with you, I am in it for the long haul.”

 

“Oh good.” She whispers, but I can hear the relief and the smile in her voice. “What time will they finish?” I hear the car doors unlock and Brian gets, somewhat unsteadily, out of the car, followed by a grinning Justin.

 

“Now. They’ve just got out the car and are going to avail themselves of the facilities.”

 

“They’ve...no, not them! The trial for today!” She laughs uproariously.

 

“Oh sorry! Another four hours or so, so not until at least five. Look…” I hear my 15 minutes to go alarm ping and marvel at their speed. “...I’ve got to take them back. I will see you later tonight, okay?”

 

“Yes. Shall I pick you up?”

 

“Now that would be nice, and maybe we could make the car rock ourselves?”

 

“Frederick!” She exclaims. “I shall be in her former Bentley.” She whispers, and I blow her a kiss that I get back.

 

COURTROOM ONE - AFTERNOON

 

ANDREW

 

I watch them carefully. He looks annoyed, and she looks relaxed. Time to put a spoke in her wheel.

 

“I call to the stand Victor Miller.” They both exchange stunned looks, while their attorneys look nonplussed, they are more than familiar with how I work. “Hello, Mr Miller, how are you keeping?” I ask once he gets comfortable.

 

“Great. Yourself?”

 

“Better than some folk. Can you, for the court, disclose your health status?”

 

“Of course, not a problem. I am HIV+ but do not have AIDS.”

 

“And how long have you had this illness?”

 

“Almost 25 years now.”

 

“If you don’t mind me asking, how were you infected?”

 

“Same as most. Barebacked and got unlucky.” There are knowing nods. “But with modern medicines I am doing very well.”

 

“I understand that you, Ms Grassi, and Mr Grassi, following the revelations are estranged.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Is that why you changed your name? Who is the Miller in your family?”

 

“That was my late husband, Rodney. He died about a year ago from a heart attack. He was positive, but again no AIDS.”

 

“I am sorry for your loss. With regards to Brian’s childhood, outside of his family home would you say it was a happy one?”

 

“Initially, yes, but as he got older, things changed. Especially when he went to college.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because...well I think because he was leaving him behind. Michael isn’t as academically gifted or driven as Brian, so when he got the opportunity of a scholarship, despite the efforts of Michael, he went to college, and here he is and there Michael is.”

 

“What do you mean the efforts of Michael?”

 

“One of the times that his spunkdumper…” He claps his hand over his mouth and goes red. “...I am so sorry! I mean Brian’s father. It’s a colloquialism we use within the family.”

 

“Within the family?” Judge Balsam echoes and looks straight at Peter and then at me.

 

“When there are no children present obviously, Your Honour!” I hurriedly add.

 

“Obviously. Continue.” He shakes his head and looks down, Phyllis and Anita both avoid eye contact, as there has been many a time when my tongue has ran rather freely and coarsely in all three of their presences!

 

“Mr Miller.” I prompt.

 

“Yes. So Michael let Brian’s father know about the scholarship that he won, because they thought that Brian should stay as was his duty to their…”

 

“They? Who are they? Are you talking about his parents?”

 

“No. Just his father, his mother could not wait to see the back of him on reflection. No, the other family member was Michael.”

 

“Was that the first time his father heard of it, when Michael told him? Ms Grassi never said anything?”

 

“Yes, Michael told him, and to my knowledge he only found out from him. Brian told us first, he was so proud of himself, rightly so. By us, I mean, me, Ms Grassi, and Mr Grassi and Brian asked us not to mention it until he was away.”

 

“Because…”

 

“He was worried his father would try and stop him, and he did try.”

 

“What happened?”

 

“He beat him up.” Vic replies calmly, and there is murmuring from the court, which Courtney silences with a look.

 

“His father beat him up to stop him from taking up the scholarship?”

 

“No, Brian beat his father. Well, not beat, he punched him once then kicked him in the balls, or maybe it was the other way around. But the last thing he did, physically, was dropped a weight near his head. Said that he was going and there was nothing he could do about it. He never hit him again after that night. Well, not to my knowledge anyway.”

 

“So he learned well?” I smirk at Roberta.

 

“Yeah, she taught him well. How he has held off since he found those books is a credit to both Roberta and Justin. Especially him. He grounds him and keeps him safe.”

 

“Is Mr Kinney a danger to others?”

 

He frowns, clearly thrown by the question. “No, more to himself. He would rather hurt himself than anyone else, especially his children and Justin.”

 

“Thank you. One more question, who are you being the witness for in this instance?”

 

“Deborah Jane Grassi.” This time the gavel stops the murmurs as Courtney is stunned into silence. “She did a good thing all those years ago, although he ultimately paid the price. Her intentions were good.”

 

“Thank you, no further questions though have the right to recall. Your witness.”

 

“Do either of you have questions at this time?”

 

“Yes Your Honour.” Anita replies and he brightens up.

 

ANITA

 

“Mr Miller, you said that Ms Grassi did a good thing, what was it?”

 

“She got me on a medical trial that was very expensive at the time.”

 

“And where did she get the money from?”

 

“Joan Kinney.”

 

“And where did she get it from?”

 

“She didn't say, but we now think it was from the embezzlement.”

 

“How much was it? Do you recall?”

 

“Fifteen thousand, enough for a six month long trial of the then most powerful antiviral drug they had.”

 

“Was that all the money?”

 

“I’m not sure, but I think the kids, Brian and Claire, got a holiday to Florida from it. They were away for two weeks I think, or maybe it was one.”

 

“No Michael?”

 

“No. He wasn't best pleased that Brian went without him, but his Mother said he most likely didn’t know about it. And…” He frowns, seems to think for a minute and then shakes his head. “...sorry. I just...no surely...”

 

“Mr Miller?”

 

“Things were better. With his dad and such, they were better. Then one day it just went back to what it was, not as bad, but what it was.” He turns to look at Michael. “You made it start again, didn’t you? Brian was happy, settled, life was good in school and at home and you couldn't stand it.” I have never seen such heartbreak and devastation in my life. “All because he went on a holiday he knew nothing about beforehand without you!”

 

The devastation is not on the face of Brian or Justin but of his Mother. She stares at him for a few long seconds before muttering something and leaning across to Phyllis.

 

“What did you say?” Judge Balsam demands.

 

“Pathetic, truly pathetic, Your Honour.” Her son flinches. “That is the one thing he hates being said about him. He’s not the only one that can push buttons.”

 

“Her response is thus recorded.” Carly announces.

 

“Thank you. May I continue?”

 

“Proceed.”

 

“If we may touch upon your health situation again, who found out about your illness first?”

 

“Who knew or who was told?”

 

“What's the difference?”

 

“Brian knew first, but Michael was told first.”

 

“I return your question to you; what’s the difference?”

 

“The ability to care. To observe. To live outside of yourself and spot a fellow sufferer, in the emotional sense in his case, he is, and was despite his reputation, much more careful than I. And now that it is just Justin, well...he’s got nothing to worry about apart from the ability to keep doing it the way they like forever.” This causes Michael to flinch again and twist his lip. His mother smiles. “However, back to the question, Brian could see something was wrong and asked if I was sick and I told him the truth. Michael lived and lives in little moments, the here and now...the quick fix and release. Brian was never and will never be like that. Michael had one goal in life: to be Mr. Brian Kinney, it would never have happened, because he was never enough for Brian. Brian wants to feed constantly, it’s why Rodney nicknamed him Bacchus. Debs may have stopped the physical handjob, but not the emotional or mental one. By keeping that hope alive, she continued to stunt Michael, to keep him that little boy.”

 

“Why do you think that was?”

 

“Because she could see that Brian no longer need her as he grew up, he could fight his own battle. But Michael wouldn’t even though with some effort he could, so she had to keep Brian needing her. Because she wanted him to help her to raise, for want of a better word, Michael. It was only when he started to pull away and try to stay away that she became a harridan and a cunt.”

 

I wait for the reprimand for the language...there isn’t one. “Well thank you, Mr Miller. Just one more question before you step down for now. The money that she gave for the trial, did she ask for it back?”

 

“No, she didn’t, but I paid most of it back. I stopped paying when I moved to New York, she said I would need it for living expenses.”

 

“And where did you get that money from?”

 

“Where else would I have got it from? From Brian.” Michael’s eyebrows shoot to the top of his skull.

 

“And what, if anything, did she do with the money she received from you? Put it towards household expenses?”

 

“No. She put it in her savings account, the one that Michael didn’t know about. She’s been saving for years. Although he knows about it now, he won’t be able to get at it. This is because of the trustee and the beneficiary she put in charge in the event of her incapacity or death.”

 

“And who would they be?” I look across at Debs and she looks pleased with herself.

 

“They're are one and the same. Her son…” Michael is positively beaming, selective hearing strikes again. “...Brian.”

 

“Thank you, Mr Miller, you may stand down. Right to recall.”

 

As he heads back to his seat, I scan the court. All I see is stunned faces, but the ones that stand out the most is the shocked one of Brian Kinney and the embarrassed, furious and hurt one of Michael.

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter End Notes:

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