KITCHEN

BRIAN

“So, are you coming, Mel?” I turn to smile at the true mother of my son.

“Of course! Give me an hour to get Jenny ready, and…”

“Ben is taking Jenny, this is a shopping trip for just the three of us.” I can't look at Ben as he has tears in his eyes. Unbeknownst to anyone else, Ben and I had spoken about Justin and I getting married. He is a clever man, that Ben, he worked it out about the watch but never said anything until Nonna came riding into town…

Start of flashback

PITTSBURGH AIRPORT - MORNING OF DEPARTURE TO TUSCANY

BAR

BEN

I chuckle to myself as Granger and Justin take Gus and Jenny to the sweet stand. “So cute.” I comment, and Brian sips his drink with a smile. I look across at Mel and am so pleased that Heather is with us. Gus and Jenny have taken to her very well, especially as she makes the bestest milkshake, even betterer than Aunt Emsy; according to Jenny. “Never thought she would be where she is, you know after everything with Lindsay.”

“Hmmm. Every day I can't believe that she has come through for me, for Gus and Justin. And on top of that, she wants to do pro bono on the counseling service.”

“She’s always been a champion of yours, she just didn't realise it.” I return, and he slowly nods. “So, I am an educated man, are you two engaged?” For a few seconds he doesn’t say anything but then the smile hits his eyes and he tips his glass at me. “I am so pleased, you deserve the happiness that you bring each other! Long engage…” I gawk at him. “...it’s this weekend, isn’t it?!”

“Yep. We just need to ask one person’s permission and we’re good.”

“One per...aww, really, he’s going to ask Gus?!” I whisper, and try not to snivel at the cuteness of that.

“Yeah.” His face softens in a way I don't see often, except when he is talking about Gus. Then it hits me how much he truly loves Justin. “So...I was wondering…”

“If the best man for that job would be a woman? Yes, I think it would be.” I grin at him. “However, I would be honoured to accompany the flower girl, if you are having one?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely!” He chuckles, then gives me a bear hug that almost makes me burst into tears!

End of flashback

MEL

“Okay, give me twenty minutes so I can grab my purse and stuff! How far away is it? Who is driving?”

“Luigi will drive.” Kelly smiles.

“Mommy, say yes! Oh please say yes, pretty please!” Gus cries out.

“I just did, so let me go get my things!” I chuckle and head towards the bedroom.

“I didn't hear her, Daddy, but I am so pleased! Mommy is going to be an excellent best manwoman!”

I screech to a halt and slowly head back to the kitchen, my heart pounding, I look around the room before settling on Gus’s smiling face. “Hey, sweetheart, mommy is going to be an excellent what?”

“Best manwoman. Daddy explained it very quickly just now. You have to hold the rings and make sure they say their words right. You will be so excellent at that. You are good with words.”

“Brian?”

“Mel?”

“Best manwoman, you want that to be me?”

“It would be a privilege and an honour.” He replies. “So is that a yes?”

“It’s a yes. Right practicalities…” I swallow back the tears and take a few deep breaths. “...I need a…”

“Suit. Earrings. Shoes. Oh, and a watch. All of the wedding party get a watch.” Nonna declares. “I have called ahead. For this shortest time scale, we need speed. You can gussy up yourself when you are in Pittsburgh, but for now it is D&G all the way. Now sposta rapidamente il fondo!”

We are all stare at her before Jennifer chuckles. “Quickly move your bottoms, or in other words…”

“Asses in gear now!” Mami declares. “Go get gussied! The Gaggle, Heather and Nonna will handle the food!”

DOLCE & GABBANA - TWO HOURS LATER

MEL

I am staring at my reflection in the mirror. It is truly a beautiful suit, but...I really like the other suit as well. I start to do some adding up in my head.

“Ah madam is happy with this one for the wedding?” The assistant smiles, he has been having a ball with all of us. Craig has almost been in tears twice: once when he saw Justin, and then when he saw Jenny in her dress. We decided to dispense with the bullshit about not seeing each other’s outfit before the wedding, surely all of their bad luck has already happened?! “So madam is happy?” The assistant repeats.

“Yes she is very happy. But…”

“Now, the other suit will be sent on ahead with the boots and the jewellery. That way you can wear them fresh, yes?”

“Other suit?”

“Yes, the other suit.” Ben smiles as he comes in. “Justin saw you admiring it and has bought it for you. In fact, they have bought a Pittsburgh piece of apparel for everyone, which is not to be worn until their blessing ceremony over…”

“No, absolutely not! It is too expensive!” Is squealed tearfully by Emmett.

“Honeycutt! I do not put a price on friendship, just accept it! Now go and get Ted and Blake cleaned up!” I chuckle at the imperious tones of Brian.

He has been in his element since we got here. Gus insisted on having the same suit as his Daddy and soon to be Papa, which made Brian smile the biggest smile ever. Jennifer and Del have gotten their dresses, Vic and Carl their suits, but it was when he called Kiki and asked for her size that I lost it. She is not the most vocal of supporters, but when she supports you, you have her until you fuck her off. We have been facetiming with her so that she gets exactly what she wants. When she saw the suit, the ‘boy’ was to the fore but then she saw the dress...so naturally Brian and Ben got both.

“Daddy!” Gus calls out as he pokes his head out from the changing room. “We needs a bowtie!”

“Why do we need that?” Brian asks, but I already know the answer and once again I tear up.

“What is Tyson going to wear when you get blesseded?” He has to look smart too, doesn’t he?”

“Yes he does. Have you seen one?”

“Oh yes, but not here, I don’t think they do slobber proof ones. He slobbers a lot. I don’t want it to get ruined.”

“How about John and I help you get the tie for Tyson?” Peter asks, and Gus nods. “Great, all sorted. Now, uh, we have about an hour or so left, is there anything else we need to buy in here?”

“Brian!” Justin calls out from the other end of the changing rooms. “I have a problem!”

“I will go and see what it is!” Jennifer declares. “I have a feeling that there won’t be a problem when I get there!” She chuckles.

We snicker quietly as she strides towards the changing room and wait for Justin to come out, but he doesn’t. In fact, Jennifer does. “Craig!” She hisses and gestures. He runs up to her then gasps. “I don’t know how, but I do know that it is stuck and stuck fast!”

I join them, followed closely by Del, Brian, Carl and Ben. “What’s hap…” My words die in my mouth as I take in the scene in front of me. Justin is almost in tears and I am not surprised, because he has somehow managed to get his pubes tangled in his zip and it is not moving, despite the efforts of Craig!

“You have to be kidding!” Brian looks from Justin’s crotch to his face.

“No. And don’t say it!” Justin whimpers, then turns his face into Brian’s shoulder as he embraces him.

“Say what?” Jennifer asks as she tries once more to disentangle her son.

“That I should’ve trimmed it.” Justin mutters, his embarrassment warming the room.

“We need scissors.” Craig sighs. “It has to be cut out.”

“No! No scissors near my favourite cocky-pop!” Brian exhorts, then blushes.

“Well, isn’t that special.” Ted snickers, having joined us. “Okay, let me have a look here. Ems!”

“Oh my!” Ems declares as he comes in. “Drew!”

“How many more people?!” Justin wails.

“What’s the...oh shit, let me get it, be right back!” Drew runs back out of the room, he is right back in seconds holding a tube of lube, well I think it’s lube. “Here, Brian, massage this along the zip, to loosen the grip. That’s the thing about new suits, the zips are stiff. And if you aren’t prepared, as in wearing underwear, that can happen.” Brian takes the tube and Drew turns to us. “Let’s give them some privacy.”

We file out and I am surprised to see Jennifer on her phone, speaking in rapid Italian. “Uh, Jennifer what are you doing?”

“Booking a waxing appointment. Nonna said there is one near here. There is no way on earth they are not ba-donka-donking tonight!”

“Mommy…” Gus tugs on my hand and I look down at him. “...what does ba-donka-donking mean?”

“So, darling, you want to take that?” Craig smirks as Jennifer goes redder and redder.

“Uh, it means to hug in a very special way.” Jennifer explains and then buries her head in Craig’s shoulder. “One word from you and we won’t be donking for a year.”

CHANGING ROOM

JUSTIN

He hasn’t said a word, just massaged the ‘gun oil’ into the zip and slowly eased it down, not trapping a single hair. He gets off his knees and finally looks at me. “You okay, no cuts or anything?”

“Yeah and no.” I reply and smile softly at his frown. “Yeah, no cuts, but the no is for the huge amount of embarrassment.”

“I can imagine.” He pushes my hair behind my ears. “They are still pink.” He teases and I wrap my arms around him. “What are you hoping for?”

“Huh?” I look up at him.

“Well, we’ve had your wedding dinner, so what are you hoping they are cooking?” He starts to nibble on my neck.

“Um. I was hoping for...stop, no hickeys. I was hoping for a non-Tuscan wedding fayre.” He looks at me in surprise. “Remember when I did that giant Yorkshire pudding with all the fixings inside? There was roast chicken, grilled asparagus, goose fat roasted potatoes and their favourite green sauce. Gus and Jenny loved it so much! I think that was the first time that he didn’t want to share with you. I would love that, but…”

“Got it!”

“Who was that?!” I gasp.

“Pearl!” She replies laughing. “Gus had told us about the bestest Jussin meal especially the ‘bowl’ it came in because he could eat it too! Now we obviously can’t do a cake, so what do you want in place of that?!”

“Uh, before I answer that, how long has she been ‘here’?”

“After that.” Brian replies kissing me and almost makinig me swoon. “So dessert?”

“You choose.” I return.

“There is only one that is quick, reminds me of you, and I know they will make it perfectly. Chocolate bombshell cupcakes.”

“Done. Now to the salon then back here!” Pearl orders and hangs up before we can say anything else.

DE CAPIO ESTATE - NEXT MORNING

GARDEN

NONNA

There is not a dry eye. They are married! It was quick and to the point, but they are married. I signal the pastor and he scurries to my side. “This is legal, yes, in every country, especial the US?”

“Yes, Mrs De Capio. I made sure. And in the states that they will go to. So New York, California, and Pennsylvania. Nobody and nothing can overturn this. And their blessing ceremony will confirm it.”

“Good. Good. Now excuse me, Father, I need to give my present.” I pat his hand before striding up to Luigi. “Pull yourself together!” I tease him as he goes through two more tissues. “I can’t believe how much girlie weeping you are doing!”

“Nonna.” He hiccups. “Come on, look at them!” He sniffs.

I turn to look at my babies, for they are my babies, well ours as I think that in a physical fight for them that Mami could take me, they look so happy. They are in a corner of the garden just talking, occasionally there is the glint of their rings in the sunlight. They have been married for 24 minutes and 33 seconds. We agreed to give them 30 minutes to themselves, to just be.

“So when do you tell them?” Luigi wraps his arms around me. For such a big strong boy he is the mushiest of all of them. “Nonna?”

“In five minutes.” I snuggle into his chest. “Or maybe six.” Then something catches my eye, it is the look on Mami’s face. “Let go. I will be back.” I stride over to her. “What is it?”

“Kitchen. Get the gaggle, the parents, Claire and Arthur.”

Less than a minute later we are gathered around staring at Mami in disbelief. “You can’t be serious?! Just how?!” Del demands.

“No idea. Maybe it is a genetic thing, after all he survived all of that shit. But that’s what Rene said.” Mami replies.

“How do we tell him?” Vic tears up so Carl gives him a hug.

“We don’t.” Claire asserts. “Well not yet, let them have this day be about them. On the plane on the way back. And I will tell him. I will tell him that our crone of a mother has woken up!”

Bombshell cupcakes:

https://www.modernhoney.com/chocolate-bombshell-birthday-cupcakes/

Green sauce: https://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/sauce-gribiche-355170

Goose fat roast potatoes:

https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/1303/ultimate-roast-potatoes