CHAPTER 24 - DOCTOR, DOCTOR GIVE ME THE NEWS…!
DAVID
“No...no I don’t.” I stammer.
“Good to know.” He replies. “I would hate to toe step.”
“But cock stepping is okay?” Grease Rat bitches.
“I was in a somewhat one sided relationship with Brent, I did what I did because I wanted to. You were sucking him off, badly I might add, to get ahead. Who is worse?”
He glares at the snickering that surrounds him, but doesn’t say anything else.
“So, have we reached an entente cordiale, yes?” Sade asks, staring at the pair of them, and slowly they nod. “Good, now to the opening music. Blake, if you please…” The sounds of strings fill the air and soon we are all mesmerised as slowly Alexi starts to dance, his moves are fluid and sensual.
“Of course he can!” Justin gripes good naturedly. “Can you stop it, please?”
“Why?” Sade asks frowning as Blake switches it off.
“Chyna, do you think we could…”
“Do that as an opening dance for all of you and then get to the staffs? Yeah, I think that’s an excellent idea. Is that the only instrument you can play, Alexi?”
“No, I can play the violin and…”
“Would that work? This music with a solo violin? You guys around him doing the dance and him playing in the centre?”
“Yeah, I think so, I would need to hear it though.”
“Now just a minute! This is cello music and…”
“PLANK FOR FIVE MINUTES IN SILENCE!” She yells and now he is on the receiving end of the glares.
Ten minutes later they have agreed that Alexi will play the opening dance and Chyna and Sade will close the competition before the winning couple is announced. There is a knock at the door and Chyna yells at them to come in. Frowns abound when some guys come in carrying a pommel horse.
“W…”
“Seriously, will punch your fucking lights out!” Drew hisses to an about to speak Ethan.
“Now this is a pommel horse. And quite frankly, I am pissed off but not totally sadistic, so you can either join Sade or you stay here and do leaps and bounds with me. And by that I mean this…”
The pommel horse is placed in the middle of the room and she runs up and leaps over it, landing elegantly on the other side.
“Now, anyone who doesn’t think they leap over Nigel, so named after a pansyassed boyfriend I had, please stand next to Sade, those who think they can…”
“Oh this is easy!” Michael declares and I join the headshaking.
“Bearing in mind you have a hip injury. It would be unwise to…”
“Unwise is me agreeing to being your partner. This…” He points at Nigel. “...is easy. Let me show you boys how it’s done.”
He swaggers to the other end of the room and then zeroing on Brian, he swivels his hips causing his junk to move in the most stomach churning way. He starts to, I am going to go with run-hobble then he hops into the air legs akimbo...again. But then he seems to pause in mid air before plummeting down into the middle of Nigel with a thud that could be heard in Tennessee. He then grips both sides of Nigel as if his life, well I guess his almost, but now non existent sex life, depends on it, and howls like a wounded animal.
In slow motion, he slithers to the floor. At first he curls into a ball, but quickly he spreads his legs wide and extends his arms in front of him as if he doesn't know what to do with them. His face is twisted like the face in the Scream and is actually the same ashy white colour.
“David!” Chyna snaps into action and yells at me. “Do something! Someone call an ambulance...again!”
I make my way over to him and crouch down. “Michael?” His eyes are squeezed tightly shut, but he cracks one open when I call his name. “Where does it hurt?” I ask, just barely able to contain my laughter.
With an incredulous look, he hisses, in a higher than normal pitch and obviously in pain, “My fucking balls feel like they're going to explode!”
“That wouldn't be an explosion, just a small pop.” With that, everyone except Michael laughs even harder.
“How could you treat him like this? He is in pain and you should help him. Show some fucking compassion!” Ethan yells out.
“Oh, don’t be such a fool, he would be the first one filming if it wasn’t him!” Ted snaps.
Before anyone can say anything else, the door bursts open and the medics arrive. “Him? Again?”
That’s when the room erupts!
VIC AND DEBS HOUSE - 20 MINUTES LATER
LOUNGE
ISLA CLARE
“So, when you arrived at the hospital he wasn’t there?” I stare at his mother.
“No. They said they had transferred him to the UPMC Presbyterian and that’s where I went.”
“And when you got there?”
“They said he was in with his doctor, and because of the nature of his...Vic!” She exclaims, and I look across to her brother. He is shaking with laughter with tears streaming down his face.
“Is everything okay?” I ask.
“Michael o...over...oh Christ! Here!” He hands over his phone. “Fr...fr...from the beginning!”
I rewind the video, and as it starts my first thought is hell the fuck no he’s not serious and then ouch and then I join Vic in tears of laughter.
“Can someone…” His mother exclaims, so I hand her the phone and ten minutes later all three of us, having watched it twice, have aching sides.
“Why? Just why?!” She cackles. “Where do you think his balls are?”
“Mrs Novotny!” I shriek.
“What? They had to go somewhere and I am gonna say throat. They’re the first balls he’s had in there in a long while!”
“Sis!”
“Okay. Okay! I am finished laughing at the...well deserved results of his stupidity.” She grins, wiping her eyes. “So that’s where I went, and by the time I got there he was discharged. The next time I saw him was three days later at home.”
Vic stops laughing.
“Mr Grassi?”
“Are you absolutely sure about that, Sis?”
“Yes. He had the cast on. Why?”
Vic gets up and rushes to a cupboard, he is like a man possessed as he goes through it and then with a scream of triumph he punches the air and comes back to us. “Because of this!”
ALLEGHANY HOSPITAL - AN HOUR LATER
MICHAEL’S ROOM
ETHAN
He is finally awake. He passed out when they picked him up as you do. But now I have an idea.
“How are you feeling?”
“How the fuck do you think?” He snaps back.
“This is all her fault. If she didn't have the pommel horse…”
“I made the choice.” He pouts.
“You’ve said a couple of times that you’ve been injured on her premises. You could sue her for that you know? And her being the owner of Babylon…”
“She owns Babylon?!” He gasps.
“Yes, that clit-bitch is seriously minted! And do you know that the poles are screwed in?” He starts to smile. “So if it was say loosened…”