CHAPTER 32 - WAH-A-WAH-A-WAH UNBELIEVABLE!

MICHAEL

That just did not happen!

CHYNA

“Why is it so quiet in here? Has someone said the f-word again, Michael?” I demand, itching for a valid reason.

“No. The M-word.” Brian’s ex replies, looking as sick as a dog. “You can’t be serious, Brian?!”

“Why does something that would never have happened between us concern you?”

Now he looks like he’s been shot in the nuts. “Never? You...we would never have…”

“Nope. Never.” Brian cuts him off and then without looking back walks out with Justin.

“So what M-word was it?” I ask coming behind the bar as a the low hum that is quintessentially Woody’s starts to rise.

“Monogamous.” Ryder tells me. “I need a drink. The Stud and his Prince are going to be monogamous.”

I stare at him and then curse as the whisky splashes on the bar as the glass overflows. “Oh, my days, those lists are going to need revising!”

“To say the least!” He inhales his drink and then rests against the bar. “There’s more. Sit back and enjoy the show!” .

“So what do you have to say to me?!” Michael declares, turning to Brian’s ex.

“Can we take this somewhere a little less…”

“Oh don’t bother, we already know about it, and by we, I mean the whole of Liberty Avenue. So do carry on…” Ryder gloats, then turns to me. “You know his surname?”

“No, but I can get it. Why? Oh, the A-list. Give me a few.” I smirk as the ex preens. “He tops it…” I point at Michael. “...and he’s third, and in so little time too.” I smirk again at the grimaces that adorn the faces of Michael and Ethan. “Just so you know, the A means avoid and in your cases somewhat like the plague!”

“There’s another list? I mean, I can get off the A-one.”

“They are not dead, deaf or blind.” I snap now thoroughly naffed off with his narcissism.

“What on earth does that even mean?” Adam demands.

“The other people in here, currently looking at you with disgust, disdain and disbelief are real. Ergo, they have heard and seen what just happened. So maybe move to another city or country, whichever you can afford.”

“Fuck you, I am…”

“If you are about to say better, like him you are not. And just to clarify, you couldn’t fuck me when I was a man so you’ve got no chance in hell now, unless, of course, you are going to say you’re bi to save that oh so ugly face of yours.” I am good and mad now. “I am going to go with you give good head because you are passably good looking depending on the light. You were punching above your weight. He’s a good man with a good heart and you stomped on it. I am his friend, you don’t get to do that and stay in my place! Marlon!” I holler, and all 6 foot six and 300 pounds of just out of gym Marlon strolls in. “Before you shower, remove please!” I point at Adam, who is looking admiringly at Marlon…

“He is dating my best friend. She will bitch slap you till you bleed and then rip out your spine.”

ETHAN

I know I shouldn’t be feeling this but she is seriously hot when she’s pissed! I watch Michael look at her with contempt, and then realise he is not looking at her, he is looking at his ex-date come in with the hotness from the class. And they are holding hands.

“Moved on from me so soon?” Michael bitches.

“There was nothing to move on from.” The guy replies. “We had a bad date, now I am having better ones. Want to grab that table over there?”

“Oh, David, you’re not calling him sweetie, baby, honeybun or lambchop?” Michael simpers sarcastically.

Ooh do I see a green eye there?! You dumped him, remember, even before the check was settled I believe you said!

“No. Why would I try and infantilize a mature relationship, I am not you. I think I have proven that by, living in the real world like I do.”

“You really need to get over the fact that I…”

“You are the only one mentioning it, so maybe the person who has the problem is you.”

“Michael, can we get to the point of our meeting?” I demand, tearing my eyes away from Marlon’s abs as he comes back in.

“Yes. Sorry, Ethan, some people have important things to discuss.” He glares at David and his date..

“Again, you are the one talking to me, I am being way too polite and answering you.”

“You call your barbs and supposed witticisms…”

“Michael! Our discussion remember?” I grouse, and almost pull him into the seat.

“Sorry, but he just won’t let this go!” He sneers and then gets up as he realises that he has left the beers on the bar. “They had better not have been tampered with!” He calls out as he approaches.

“Want to see the security feed?” Chyna asks, and I marvel at her flexibility as she uses the bar to, I guess, practice ballet.

“Could I? I would hate for me to have to...watch it!” He shouts and moves quickly away as she swings her leg in front of her.

“You watch it...again. Now be a good little pest and take your beers and go sit down.” She orders as she slides into a split. “The view from down here is tiny and I am saying nothing about those dubious looking stains.” She keeps her eyes trained on him, the challenge is clear and it is with great effort he comes back to the table.

I hide my smile at the hi-five she and Marlon do as he helps her up. “So? How have you been?” He asks as he puts both beers in front of him. “I paid for them.”

Jesus, how a dick ever got up his ass is anyone’s guess!

“Well, I’ve just found out that the tour I was supposed to be headlining isn’t happening any…”

“It is happening.” Chyna interrupts. “Just not with you playing in any way. Both here or in Australia.”

“What are you talking about here? I thought I was in the Baylon Orchestra…” I trail off when she shakes her head. “May I be told why?!”

“Don’t want you in it; my orchestra so my choice. Same for the classes. He was told to tell you, as I have kicked him out as well.” She points at Michael. “Okay, am going to be in the office if anyone needs me.”

“As if anyone would need you!” Michael scoffs.

“Too easy.” She chuckles.

“I’ve heard that about you!” He laughs, but then stops when she abruptly turns back and stalks to the table.

“I look forward to it.” She snarls in his face and he frowns. “I so look forward to it.”

“What are you talking about?” He demands.

“You’ll fuck up big time, and when you do I will be there. You are a showman, Mr Novotny, shame it’s a one trick show. But hey, that’s how you get paid, isn’t it?”

“I am not a showman. I don’t know what you are talking about.”

She stands up and then slowly smiles. “Yes you are. Yes you do. And yes you most definitely will.”

DAVID

I look across at Alexi and he has the same thought, Chyna needs to back down. I can’t understand why she is baiting him like this! I am about to say something when Alexi’s eyes widen and he points behind me, I turn and look and there is Thaddeus Hawkstreek heading to the bar, but then he changes direction and heads to Michael’s table.

“Oh crap, now what the hell is going on?” I sigh.

“Mr Novotny, I would like a word with you. In fact, I would like about 50,000 words with you.”

Michael turns to look at him and his face plummets. “I don’t know who you are and…”

“Step outside, Mr Novotny.” Thaddeus orders. “Now, Mr Novotny.”

“Do you have surveillance outside this building?” Michael demands of Chyna who just snorts and makes her way into the office. “I am not going anywhere with random strangers and....”

“But fucking them bareback is perfectly fine!” Thaddeus snaps.

“It was you who gave me this!” He hisses at him.

“Oh, you remember him now?!” Someone calls out.

“Like I said, outside, Mr Novotny.” Thaddeus orders.

“I won’t be long, Ethan.” He tells him and follows him outside, shutting the door firmly behind him. It doesn’t take long for everyone to crowd round windows, while I am calling Ted!

OFFICE

CHYNA

I shift the angle of the camera down the alleyway so that we have a clear shot and sit back to watch the show.

ALLEYWAY

MICHAEL

“What the fucking hell are you doing here? I can have you stripped of…”

“You gave it to me, I did not give it to you. I can prove it with my timeline. As for the other thing, as far as I am concerned you are on your own.”

“Other thing?” I look confused.

“You may look sweet and innocent but that’s about as sweet as vinegar and as innocent as a harlot! Leave me alone, Mr Novotny, I have more than paid for my dubious association with you.”

“There are phones you know! You didn’t have to come all the way here to say that to me!”

“Yes, but you were not picking up your phone, nor were you responding to emails. So here I am, telling you loud and clear to leave me alone. You’ve left me and Agnes with more than enough!”

“Agnes? Who the…? Oh, that deranged hetero who announced my illness in Babylon, that’s who you fucked after we fucked! Your standards slipped twofold, first a woman and a nutjob one at that!”

“She’s not a nutjob, she was very distressed that…”

“Oh for fuck sake! At best we’ll all just suffer episodes of the Big C. It’s manageable, annoying but manageable, but at least I know who I got it from before I passed it along.”

“Am so glad you are taking this so seriously.” He drawls.

“Like I said, it’s manageable. Are we concluded in our business?”

“Most definitely.” He snaps.

“What was the 50,000 word comment about then?”

“That’s how much I could take you for if you come at me again.”

“You forget that….”

“No, I don’t forget anything. The medical report, do you still have it?”

“No, I burned it. I told you that.”

“Well I didn’t. I go then you go.” He sneers, then marches back up the alleyway and out of sight.

“Fuck.” I grouse and nibble on my thumbnail before I head back inside Woody’s.

DAVID

I am sitting in the office with Chyna and Ted, who had been waiting for her.

“So, we just need to cross the Ts and dot the Is now?” I ask.

“Yeah, that’s it. We have officially got him on the fraud against the Big Q. We need to get the statement from the comic book seller about the comic. Although we don’t need him to mention his friend, it would be helpful, as that provides the link with the chlamydia. And then we need the Big Q to file a complaint to get it into the legal system. But yeah, we have finally got his oh so tiny nuts nailed to a big wall.” Ted slumps against the seat and looks across at a frowning Chyna. “What’s wrong?”

“Why were he and Ethan meeting?” We both shrug. “Let me…”

“You think we’ve missed something?” Ted starts to look through his papers.

“Not with the fraud, no.” She picks up her phone. “Marlon, can you send Dewie to get the man whose picture I am about to send you and bring him around the back? Thanks.”

“Let me show you something. Mr Loudmouth gave me an idea and I recorded it.” She turns her screen towards us and there is Michael talking to Thaddeus, and we listen incredulously as he is blase about what he has done to two people and the Big Q.

The back door knocks, when she opens it and lets in Thaddeus, he is looking somewhat bewildered.

“David? What is going on? Why am I back?”

“Thaddeus, why did you come here in the first place? We have your…”

“I had to pay Agnes, amongst others, a considerable sum for sexual endangerment. I wanted him to know that he gave it to me and I could prove it.”

“How have you left it with him, and where is the file?” Ted is almost falling off his chair in delirium.

“File is in my private office at home. Yes, Agnes gave you some of what happened but the true file is there. I can get it to you by tomorrow but…”

“We will come to an arrangement, I promise you. Yes, you were a dickhead, but we, well I, don’t want you, I want him so very badly. You will still be able to practice. Whether it is in Pittsburgh is another matter.”

“Thank you.” Thaddeus sighs and then accepts the glass that Chyna hands him. “As a matter of interest why do you want him so badly.”

“Three reasons: One, he called me boring; two, he called my dear friend a flamer; and three, because...because of him, a friend lost his job and couldn’t support his family. Couldn’t get a job for almost a year the only thing he had was his life insurance, so he killed himself.”