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CHAPTER 42 - HOW TO DRESS FOR DISCO AND DANCING...GIRL VS BOY


NOEL’S HOUSE - SATURDAY AFTERNOON


WALK IN CLOSET


DAPH


“No! Absolutely not! The point is to hold their interest, not look at you like a dog seeing an unguarded tomahawk steak!” He puts down the go-go-boy outfit and glares at me. “Have you actually been on a date with a guy? Not a fuck-date, a date-date. And as a guy, not as Naomi?” He sits down and looks thoughtful before shaking his head. “Thought not. I know that you said you tell guys about Naomi, but how soon do you tell them?”


“Pretty much immediately, as generally I have met them as her.” He looks thoughtful. “So I should dress how exactly?”


“For tonight you’re going to be dancing, so a pair of jeans and a cool t-shirt...I repeat, a cool t-shirt. Like, aha, this one! I love this one!”



“Definitely for tonight, and tomorrow wear pants, and...” I quickly flick through “...this fabulous sweater, no actually, can I borrow this fabulous sweater and you...oh, you have one in blue, so can I, and, you wear that one?”



“Sure. So what are you going to wear this evening?” He asks, staring at the floor.


“This...oh, I have an army jumpsuit that I think would be just perfect.”


“A jumpsuit?” He queries.


“Well, what else would a wingwoman wear?” I grin, and he beams back. “So, this thing with your Dad, I still don’t get why he helped your, I mean Philippa, dump Ivan.”


“I told you that she was cheating on him and that she didn’t want to give him anything, right?” I nod. “Dad found out about it, same circle of friends, and said he would tell Ivan if she didn’t get out of the house.”


“But it is in your names. She couldn’t do anything with it.”


“True, but he would’ve forced her to sell the contents, and made sure her name was lower than the one she got when she married him.”


“Ouch! What was it by the way?”


“Her surname? Horn.”


“Oh, there’s nothing wrong with Horn…” I snicker.


“Depends on who it’s attached too!” He jousts back. “In all seriousness, he was an emotional bully and she made me turn to a self-abasing chicken when I was younger, but I’m glad they are out of my life.”


“What are you going to do with the house though?” He starts to grin. “Your Dad has moved back into it, hasn’t he?”


“No, even better! Dad’s boyfriend has moved in!” He chuckles. “That’s another reason that Dad did it, Oscar helped me select most of the stuff. I would’ve loved to have been there when that announcement was made to her!”


“Your Dad is gay?!” I gasp and sit back on the bed. “How long has he been out?”


“About 11 years. He met Oscar at a conference. They were just chatting, nothing more. He and Philippa had been divorced about 3 years. They’d meet up for drinks and stuff, and one day, Dad just leant across and kissed him. Like it was the most natural thing in the world to do.”


“Had he done anything before that?”


“Nope. But it felt right, so he did. Turns out Oscar was trying to figure a way of doing that.”


“And they’ve been together ever since?” He nods and grins. “First time out. Impressive. Right now, mister, let’s get you ready!”


BUBBLE PLAYHOUSE - EARLY EVENING


BRIAN


One of the advantages of the Bubble, especially early evening, is that it retains its heat. We have had a leisurely afternoon of lovemaking and dozing, and now we’re here having a picnic of hot and spicy ribs, Thai salad, and, for dessert - now that Emmett has let us have a set of his hot and cold boxes - an Indian ice cream called kulfi with pistachios.


“Are we going to Babylon tonight?” He asks as he carefully lifts the ribs onto the platter and then curses when one rolls off onto the rug - a cream rug, which I had said twice was a bad idea, but he insisted on replacing it with exactly the same one. “Not a word.” He commands.


“Told you so.” He glares. “You said not a word that was three. And yes, I think a night out dancing, followed by a nice leisurely...oh crap, we’ve got practice tomorrow afternoon, so maybe not.”


“I had forgotten that.” He sucks his finger thoughtfully. “Hang on a second.” He reaches for his phone and dials a number. “Chyna, it’s Justin. How’s Isla? Great, just great. Look, about tomorrow’s practice, it’s a public holiday on Monday, so...yes it is, no it’s this weekend. Great! Okay bye!”


“What’s occurring?” I ask, beginning to plate up for him, making sure he has more ribs than me. At least that way I can get some!


“She thought the holiday weekend was next weekend, so she’s going to email everyone and move the practice to next weekend and we get this one off!”


“Aren’t you a clever devil?” I hand him his plate and try not to laugh as he quickly counts the ribs. “Yes, you have two more than me, and they are the meaty ones. Now let’s eat!”


“So, we are going to Babylon?”


“Yes, we are going to Babylon.” I reply, and catch his mischievous look as he reaches for a wrapped package. “What have you been doing?” I move my package behind me for a minute.


“Well, I bought you something, and...what was that?” He asks, as he hears the paper crinkle.


“Nothing. Continue.” I bring both hands in front of me. “See, nothing to see here.”


“Apart from the package behind you.” I feign innocence. “You are sitting in front of the mirror.”


“You first.” I prompt, and he hands it over. I take my time opening it, much to his impatience, but when I see what he’s bought I grin. “With what?”



“Your dark blue pants, you know, the leather ones and the Hermes belt?”


“Good choice. Now, do you want yours?”


“Gimme!” He makes grabby-hands so I quickly hand it to him. After he opens it, he leans over to kiss me. “Black suede pants, the ones that are a button fly and no belt?”



“I think it might be best if we met there!” I decide. “But first we eat!”


“I concur!”


MICHAEL AND ETHAN’S HOUSE - LATE SATURDAY EVENING


HALLWAY


MICHAEL


“Well, I will see you in the morning. If you hear chatting from my room…”


“I should tell you to stop talking to yourself or turn the TV off?” He butts in.


“No, you should not come in because Noel will most likely be recovering from…”


“Being revived from a coma?” He snarks and puts on his jacket.


“So, where are you off to all by yourself?” I taunt him.


“Babylon.”


“What for?” I demand.


“I wouldn’t miss this chance to learn from the master for the world!”


“At least you acknowledge who is the top here.” I smarm.


“Yes, Michael, you are definitely the top in how not to do it! See you in there!” He laughs at my fuming expression before heading out.


BABYLON - TWO HOURS LATER


BRIAN


As Chyna and Sade have the next two nights off, they are joining us soon. Apparently, not that Isla and Marlon are fine with it, since they can’t wear the playsuits on the night, they are wearing them tonight. But they have reassured their churlish other halves that nobody is going to be paying attention to the suits, and I can see why! Striding towards Marlon in said playsuit is Sade, but absolutely nobody is paying any attention to that because they are looking at her legs and the boots that she is wearing!


“I want a pair!” Someone whispers; the club is that quiet.


“Gosh!” Marlon says just staring at her legs.


“Gosh? I would’ve thought this would’ve merited more than a gosh!” She sits on the stool and crosses her legs, I can actually hear Marlon’s eyes following the movement.



“Where is she?” Isla scans the crowd.


“Here.” Chyna replies, and Isla whirls around and zeroes on her feet.


“You cow!” Sade exclaims. “You said you weren’t going to get them!”


“No, I said I wasn’t going to let my Mom get them. I have no such qualms as you can tell by them being on my feet.” She grins a sly grin. “That makes us even.”


“Oh shit, babe, they are gorgeous! Are you sure you can’t come to a compromise?” Marlon is almost drooling.


“Um. Care to share here?” Justin asks.


“They never buy a pair of shoes that the other one wants, that’s the rule, but Sade broke it when she got a tattoo inspired pair, and Chyna has been trying to get her back ever since. She’s whipped your ass, babe.”


“Can we actually see the shoe?” Isla grumbles. “Owing to you having legs like a giraffe, I can’t see down there. How you do is beyond me, Marlon?”


“You work here long enough, your eyes get trained.” He grins. “Need a steady?” He asks Chyna, and she grins before holding onto his shoulder and taking her shoe off, then placing it on the bar.



“Oh, I say.” Isla breathes. “Can you actually dance in those?”


Chyna puts the shoe back on her foot and helps Sade off the stool. “She wants to know if I can dance in these. Shall we show them?”


“I should still be fucked off, but hell yeah! What we going to do?”


“Let us confer.” They link arms and head to the DJ booth.


“Brian.” Justin tugs on my arm. “Brian.” He repeats a bit louder almost getting his brat on.


“What is it?” I turn to him, he is almost quivering like a jelly and waving his phone at me.


“Lookee what I found!” I reach for the phone, but he hops backwards. “Now bear in mind I shall be wearing them and them alone when I serve you dinner on Sunday. So, you must be very careful not to drop food on them.”


“Just give it to me Brat!” I roll my eyes at his teasing, and he hands over his phone. “Only these?”



“Um, actually, maybe the shorts too. What do you think? I was thinking of serving a....” I silence him with a deep kiss.


“Order them.” I tell him against his lips. “And I will find a suitable something to compliment them.” I pull my phone out and start to do some homework while ignoring his smug giggling.


NOEL


I have made a conscious effort to stay away from the group, but keep Daph in sight. Michael said he would meet me in here. I know exactly why he wants to meet inside. It’s so he has the maximum audience when he greets me, but I am used to overfamiliarity like this...he’s in for a roadblock!


I am about to give up and go join Daph and the others when he comes in and I instantly regret my tee! And judging by the look of horror on Daph’s face, she does too!



“Hi, Noel. Oh look...we match! Both wearing bananas, it must be kismet.” He, I am going to go with, drools!


“Yeah.” I reach for my drink, and time it perfectly. He leans into greet me with a slobber, I mean kiss, and comes up against glass. I actually hear his teeth clink!


“Oh! Are you okay?” I ask, keeping the glass in front of my face.


“Yes.” He remarks after he checks his teeth. “How about I…”


“Hey guys!” Ethan smiles as he joins us. “Are your dentures okay, Michael? I could hear them hit from clear across the club.”


“What are you doing here?” Michael blushes.


“You said I should come. You know, to see how you pick up and seduce a guy. So when is that going to start exactly?” The silence stretches on.


“Babylonites! I have a special request...” The DJ hollers out, and mercifully they stop looking at me like I am a tomahawk steak and turn to face the dance floor. It is then I feel something being slid under my hand, I take a quick look, and the barman points at Daph and then at the note. “...so, without further ado, C&S are gonna show you how to pearl and steampunk to Don’t Cha!”


I turn to the dancefloor and watch Chyna and Sade strut to the middle of it to the opening bars and then get the pearl and steampunk reference. Those are fuck-off-fabulous heels! I was aware that they could dance, but oh Christ their dance skills are more than I could have imagined! I look across and see Brian and Justin watching them carefully as they bump and grind to the song. Then suddenly Sade lifts her hand and does a twirling motion and the songs starts again, Brian and Justin look at each other and move to the floor, and then it’s the four of them moving in perfect sync to the video playing on the big screen behind them.


“Oh how hot is he?” I hear Michael moan...yes he actually moans, and I feel my lunch trying to make an appearance. I swallow hard and am relieved I only had a salad, if I had anything heavier I don’t think I would make it to the bathroom!


For the next hour, they try to out-vie each other for my attention, and, to be honest, I am so bored that when a drunk guy spills his drink down my front, I could almost kiss him for giving me an excuse for a breather!


“Oh for fuck!” I exclaim, and then retreat rapidly when they both reach for napkins. “I can manage! Excuse me!” I stalk towards the bathrooms, but before I can enter the men's, I am pulled into the women’s! “Now just a…”


“Out of that, quick!” Daph orders, and wriggles out of her jumpsuit then pulls off the tee she is wearing. “Put that on now! Remember them later!”



I swiftly change and try to not be too mortified by being caught staring. “Focus on the mission, I will rinse this out and you can collect it tomorrow. Now go!”


I give her a swift kiss to her cheek, trying not to smile at her WW has got you note, and head back out. They are both primed for my return, but it is Ethan that reacts first. “Yeah, Michael, that t-shirt is definitely for you. Noel, I will see you tomorrow, I do hope you like dinner as opposed to the breakfast that Michael was planning to serve you...Captain Crunch, I believe you said?” He leaves before an almost purple faced Michael can respond to him.


“So, have you heard of these list things?” I ask and his face lights up, not what I expected.


“Yes. And do you know what I have heard about them?”


“No.” I lean in but keep sipping my drink.


“There has been a computer glitch and everyone has to vote again.”


What glue has he been sniffing?!


“But they are keeping that on the downlow, because of the embarrassment factor for Chyna.”


For real?! And as for downlow, who does he think he is R Kelly?!


“Chyna?”


“Yes, she is the person who runs the lists and is humiliated that this has happened. So pay no attention to anything she says about them. It was me that pointed out that there was quadruple counting on one of the lists, so she’s had to start from scratch.” He looks over his shoulder. “Actually, see that lady over there with the masses of hair?” He points at Daph. “I am surprised she has been let in, since it was her system that caused the problem.”


Oh, honey, you are on the A-list not only because people want to avoid an asshole, but also because you are an avaricious piece of bumfodder!


“Hi, Brian!” He chirrups like a canary on coke as Brian strides past and he stops, which makes the idiot smile wider. “Brian, I’d like to introduce you to a new friend in my life. Brian, this is Noel. Noel, this is Brian.”


“Pleased to meet you.” I put down my drink and stick out my hand.


“Oh no, that is not the A La Pittsburgh Way.” Brian purrs, and my eyes widen as he grabs both shoulders and plants a kiss on each cheek. I hear Justin’s titters, and Daph gets out of my eyeline. “This is where you reciprocate, or I shall feel like you don’t like me…” He makes cow eyes at me.


“Oh well, if it’s the done thing…” I stand on my tiptoes and return the two cheek kiss.


“Brian, I haven’t said hello properly either.” Michael pronounces.


“No need, I know you already.” He replies and saunters over to Justin.


“Fancy dancing?” I gesture to the dance floor, but before he can answer I am swept into the arms of Emmett. “What the…”


“You! You, I must dance with! Come immediately!” He orders, and drags me to the floor, and for the next two hours I do not spend a minute in his company, and, to be honest, at first I couldn’t understand why, until I looked at Michael’s face. He looks really fucked off. So between them they are making sure that he crashes the date tomorrow night...not that there was any doubt that he would try and tip Ethan’s romantic applecart! But just to be absolutely sure...Naomi is coming out for minute!


“I have to get back to him!” I yell at Drew and he nods sympathetically, then gestures towards a booth. “What?!” I shout, but all he does is shove me gently in that direction. I check over my shoulder and Michael is on his phone. When I get to the booth, Chyna and Isla are sitting in it. Isla has Chyna’s feet in her lap. “What’s going on?”


“You are going home now.” Isla tells me.


“I am?” I look between the two of them.


“No, twit! That’s what you tell him so he can walk you out. Look for Tinklebell, also known as the drunkard t-shirt ruiner, and he’ll bring you back in here via the kitchen.”


I love these women!


I wend my way back to Michael. “I am so sorry!”


“Yes, I was a little surprised to be abandoned in such a manner, but I forgive you. Shall we…”


“Actually, with too much dancing and not much hydration, I have a thumping headache and am going to go home. I am really sorry, but I will see you tomorrow right? It’s dinner for three isn’t it?” He stares at me. “I have never met a couple so open about an open relationship the way you tease and josh with each other. Amazing.” I head to the cloakroom with him almost glued to my ankles. As I get there, my coat is almost immediately handed to me. “Well, goodnight, see you tomorrow!” I grin, punch him on the shoulder then leave.


MICHAEL


What on earth just happened?! One minute we were getting on famously and then the next he disappeared in the throng that was the dance floor! I might as well go home, hopefully Ethan won’t be up to taunt me!


BABYLON NECKING BOOTH - THREE HOURS LATER


BRIAN


I have decided that I would take Chyna, Sade, Daph and Ems into battle, just them, and they would decimate in seconds! The club is winding down and we are all here. By all, I mean me, Justin, Daph, Chyna, Isla, Sade, Marlon and Noel. Everyone else has sloped off home. Chyna looks at her watch before covering up a sleeping Isla and smiling at my smirk. She peers at the bottle of cognac. “Any left?”


“Enough for a glass each.” I reply.


“Let’s kill it and get our asses home. Thank fuck for Justin!”


“Why?” I ask, and then smile. “Ah, public holiday on Monday?”


“Yep.” She chuckles. “Saw the boots. Very nice. What you getting?”


I check that he’s still sleeping, curled up with Daph and Noel, and show her.




“With?”


“Nothing.”



https://www.harighotra.co.uk/sticky-hot-ribs-2-recipe

https://realfood.tesco.com/recipes/crunchy-thai-salad.html

https://www.harighotra.co.uk/pistachio-kulfi-recipe

 

Chapter End Notes:

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