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CHAPTER 58 - BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE COCKULORUM!


RUPAUL


So this is it is it? This streak of sickness is the cause of all the misery? And why is he walking like he is the cock of some walk?! Time to castrate this prick! I watch for the signal from Chyna. Once he gets to the mic, he clears his throat.


“Hello Babylon!” He yells before he grins like a maniac. The silence is thunderous before they explode with whooping and cheering, so he takes a bow!


“Babylonians!” Chyna calls out, and they slowly start to go quiet. “I give you RuPaul!”


“Oh my god!” He squeals. Great, he's a fan! “Let’s take a selfie!”


“No.” I retort, and click my fingers. “Bring me my throne!” I enjoy the comedic, but it’s not funny, fall of his face and then he starts to edge his way to Chyna. “And where are you going?”


“I am giving you the stage like the queen you are!” He slimes obsequiously.


“Oh no, no, you clearly had something of importance to say. I will wait until you have finished.” I get comfortable and then frown. “No footstool...words will be had!”


“Honestly, they can wait…”


“No we can’t! You requested the audience.” Chyna growls and he grimaces.


“Unless you were lying again!” Brian yells out, and he stiffens, but after another second he heads back to the mic.


“So...um...I would like to apol…”


“What for?”


“What for what?” He looks across at me.


“You are apologising; so what did you do to warrant a full club of simmering tension?”


“It was just a misunderstanding. I acted out a bit and want to say sorry. So sorry for that.”


“Sorry for that?! That’s it?!” Someone shouts out.


“We don’t need to go into…”


“I am the Queen, you are one of my subjects, you must tell. Cleanse your soul as it were…”


“I upset a couple of…”


The screen behind him catches my eye, and there he is on a space hopper bouncing towards Chyna. There is a collective oooh when the pole connects with his face. He frowns as the snickering starts, but when he turns around the screen is black.


“Couple of people by my thoughtless actions, but if I could explain why I did what…”


I dab my lips to hide the fact that his swivel hip thing when he was dancing next to Brian is revolting, and judging by their reactions, all of Babylon thinks the same!


“...don’t make that face, it’s my traumatic childhood that caused it. I was never…”


I start to cough as he gets stuck attempting the splits, and then almost bring up my champagne when we catch sight of his peashooter and peas! Again he frowns and turns around, and ole Chyna Lightning switches it off.


“...was something…”


“Get on with it, we have dancing to do!” A burly Babylonian calls out grinning.


“My childhood and…”


What the heck does he think he is doing? I am mortified for him as he attempts to dance around his lounge...even the guy on the violin is looking queasy, and when he throws his hands around, the laughter starts to reverberate louder.


“Bwwaaaahaaaahaaa!” I honk out as he leaps into the air, legs akimbo above the pommel horse. Unfortunately, this time Chyna is too busy laughing to switch it off! And it is when he slithers to the floor clutching his peas, after the landing from hell, that Babylon erupts!


“What are you doing?!” He screams through the mic at her. She does a throat cutting gesture, and the club goes quiet.


“A montage of your best bits...well best for us because they caused you pain. A goodbye laugh, at your expense of course, just like the expense you have cost The Avenue! You wanted to apologise, but you, after costing someone their life, say sorry for that but after you demand a selfie! And you want to blame it on what? Specifically who? The same people that you have driven away!”


He stands there for a few minutes opening and closing his mouth before he turns to look at me. “You’re not her, you are a low rent impersonation! I bet you don’t even know his real name! As if he or she would be…”


“I was born Andre Charles on the 17 November 1960 in San Diego…” I reply in my baritone voice and stand up. “...and you, Mr Cockulorum, don’t call this diva a fake!” He goes from arrogantly smug to chastened and confused. “You believe me?!” I bellow at him and he bobs his head. “And you want to know what a Cockulorum is, don’t you Babylon?!”


“YEAH!” They roar back.


“Lucky us because we have a fine specimen of cockulorum here...they are very important…I am serious, very important.” The crowd starts to look puzzled. “But only to himself...a cockulorum is a self-important man, the key word there is self because you are of no import to anyone else. You are a no-never-mind-misbegotten little mite. A grub. A cockblocked carbuncle, a tick under the skin of good and decent people everywhere. We have enough fights to battle without fighting one of our own. Chyna, if you please...this calls for Gloria, just the instrumental version…” I stride to the centre of the stage. The first bars ring out and I lift the mic off the stand...


At first they were afraid they were petrified

Kept thinking you’d be forever living by their side

They spent oh so many nights thinking how you did them wrong

And they grew strong

And they learned how to get you gone

But now you're back fresh out of jail

You walk in here with that sad look upon your face

They should kick you in the crotch

They should kick you in the knees

Because they don’t believe for one second

That you're back to say sorry

You’ve got to go walk out that door

Don't turn around now

Cos you’re not welcome anymore

Weren’t you the one who tried to hurt them with your lies

Did you think they’d crumble

Did you think they’d lay down and die

Oh no says I, they will survive

For as long as they know how to love I know they’ll stay and thrive

They’ve got their freedom to love

And their freedom to live

They will survive, they will survive

So bye bye


I have never heard anything as quiet as that after I have sung, I made it up while getting dressed and looking down at the Babylonians I wonder if I have misjudged it. He starts to look smug again and I am about to say something when the tune restarts.


“Are we all good, Babylon?!” Chyna calls out as she lowers the volume.


“YES!”


“Singitback!” She orders, and I am almost blasted off the stage as they roar my words back to me! I have never felt so humbled or proud.


“Why are you still here?!” I snarl at him when they finish.


“You've had your say, I will have mine!” He snaps, and tries to take the mic off me...me! Oh no, buddy! No-body does that to RuPaul! But before I can do anything, Marlon and Fordie are there, Marlon scoops me into his arms and off stage, and over his shoulder I see Cockulorum being body slammed to the floor.


“Police brutality! Police brutality!” He screams before being hauled to his feet. “I demand a copy of...let go of me! I demand a copy of this humiliation be given to my attorney!”


“No, get a court order. Now get that carbuncle gone!” Chyna snaps.


MICHAEL


I am absolutely incensed! I try to dig my heels in to stop him from pulling me out to no avail.


“Send him off, Babylon, send him off!” I hear RuPaul shout, and that infernal singing starts again! As we near the door, Fordie stops and looks behind him, I try to turn around but he jerks me forward.


“What do you want?”


“To watch…” Brian says. “...just like he watched us.”


The ear piercing whistling stops my protest, and the squad car pulls up and I am shoved inside. “Take him to the 27th.”


“What?! I thought I was going home afterwards! I am on a tag!”


“You thought wrong.” He holds the door open still. “Want to do it?”


“What?”


“Shut the door in…”


I throw myself to the other side of the car to avoid being hit in the face! Five minutes later, we pull up outside my house. “What are we doing here? I thought I was being taken to 27th?”


“You are…” The cop says over his shoulder before getting out and opening the door. “...you need to pack.”


“Pack?” I gape at him. “Y...you mean I am going to be kept…”


“In jail until sentencing? Yeah, your attorney thought you were too much of a flight risk.”


BABYLON - TWO HOURS LATER


JUSTIN


The crowd is singing Freedom at the tops of their voices. I lock eyes with Brian and squirm in his embrace. My legs are wrapped around his waist and his fingers are playing with my butt plug.


“How close?” He growls.


“So so so!” I garble, and he turns heel and carries me swiftly to the office. Within seconds of the door being slammed shut, I am pressed against it, the plug is out and he is in. “Uhhhh!”


“Hold it, hold it!” He pleads and starts to move.


“Hurry! Think of me sucking your cock!”


“Ah! Yeah! Now!”


“Yeah baby yeah!” I scream and throw my head back…


...and that was when we discovered two things: one, that the door to Chyna’s office also opens outwards, and two, it wasn’t as shut as we thought!


“Well hello boys!” RuPaul chuckles from above as we lie there in a satiated and still trembling heap. “I thought you were in need of assistance when you carried him off, but I see you are just fine!”


He smiles as he brushes the hair from my face. “More than fine.”


ALLEGHANY COURTHOUSE - WEDNESDAY MORNING


COURTROOM 3


MICHAEL


Traitorous Jezza and I have not spoken since he had me locked up on Saturday night. I was so that angry that my last few days of freedom could not be spent in the comfort of my own bed.


“Before I sum up and pass sentence, there is an impact statement from the widow of Jerry - as she has asked me to call him - Marilyn on behalf of his son Dylan.” The Judge looks across at me and then shakes his head. “You may proceed.”


“Thank you, Your Honour, for giving Jerry the respect he deserved, unlike some. I am sorry, Your Honour, I need to get my glasses.”


“Take your time.”


I look to my right and watch her scrabble about in her sac and fight not to get exasperated. I just want this over and done with, and hope he takes into account my owning my shit, as Ma would say. I hear a cough and look over my shoulder. The courtroom has certainly filled out since I got in here. Barbarossa will be tried at a later date, but he’s in court to hear this statement. We are side by side, and all he has done is mutter obscenities under his breath, the hypocrite!


“I am ready now.” He nods, and she turns to face me. “Look at me. Look at me while I read this.” She waits for us to turn, and I barely hold her gaze before lowering my eyes slightly. “Cowardly to the end, both of you. So anyway, this is what our son wrote: When Mom told me the truth about how Dad died, I was so angry, at first with her, but then she explained that I was too young to understand then, and now I hate that I am old enough. It’s like he died all over again. While I don't understand how they are to blame, I know that they are to blame. The one person I won't blame for his death is my Dad. He died a hero to me. It may seem a strange thing to say, but he died saving us from what he saw was a miserable life with him in it, but I would rather be miserable with him than slightly happy without him. Mom does her best to keep me happy, but because of you two it only slightly works. So know this: you will die old and nasty men who I hope never find the love that my parents did, and in your waning years that you are treated with the exact same compassion that you showed us...NONE! And when you die, I don't care how long it takes and I don't care where you are, but I will find where you are buried and I will spit on your graves.”


“Is there anything else you wish to say?” The Judge asks.


“No, I think he put it very eloquently, Your Honour.”


“He did indeed. Thank you, please take a seat.” He clears his throat and we turn to face him. “Remove Mr Barbarossa from my presence.”


I swallow hard when the door closes behind him, and the court goes deadly quiet, because here it comes.


“Michael Charles Novotny…”


“He’s not a Novotny!” Rings out, and my heart sinks and soars in equal measure as that is Ma. I am happy to hear her voice but unhappy that this is what she is saying.


“And you...oh Det. Horvath, is this a…”


“No, I am here in an unofficial capacity, Your Honour.”


“I see. And you, ma’am, what do you mean he is not a Novotny?”


“His real surname is Grassi. I don’t want him to go to appeal or whatever it is to say they charged him under the wrong name, Your Honour,”


“Oh I see. Those bases have already been covered by his attorney.” He gives me a sly smirk. “You’d have thought it wouldn’t be, but the honesty lacking in the client in this instance, is not a trait his attorney shares.”


“Good. What happens now?”


“Uh, Sis, we sit down and he passes sentence.” I turn around and feel the cold chill of their indifference as they stare back at me. “Sorry about that, Your Honour.”


“That’s fine. Get comfortable, I think he is grateful for the delay.” I cringe at the tittering and the speed at which they sit down. “Now, as I was saying, Michael Charles Novotny and or Grassi, you have been found guilty of fraud against the Big Q, you have also been found culpable in the death of Jerry Grayson. With regards to the attempted bribery, this will be held on file. However, with regards to the sexual endangerment, you have been found not guilty of that…” There are gasps of surprise and I smile on the inside as it wasn't my fault, I didn’t know I had it! “....however, with regards to the cause and effect and assault you are most assuredly guilty of that! Do not smile in my court!”


“Jesus fucking Christ.” Jezza mutters, and moves further away.


“I now come to sentencing. For the fraud you will serve four years, for the culpability you will serve five years, and for the cause and effect and assault, you will serve seven years.” I sit down quickly. “I am not done! Stand up!” I get shakily to my feet. “These sentences to be served consecutively with no parole possible until you start the term for cause and effect.”


“But...but that’s sixteen years!” I stammer.


“Shush!”


“It is okay, Counsel. What’s your point?”


“What I did was bad, but sixteen years?! I have read about murderers getting less, I am not a murderer!”


“Yes you are! What do you think culpable means?! Your actions caused him to kill himself, and you almost got another person killed!”


“Adam wasn’t armed Your Honour!” I object.


“He’s talking about Adam, you prick!” Jezza snaps at me. “Officer Xin shot at him remember?! Or was your shock at that an act too?!”


“Counsel!”


“Sorry, but you haven’t had to deal with him!”


“True, but you have to exercise decorum no matter how accurate the description.” This raises too much of a laugh in my opinion. “Now back to this, you will be taken to Ohio State Penitentiary to serve your sentence…”


“Uh, Your Honour…” Ma interrupts again. “...is that a maximum security prison?”


“No, medium. Um, and you are?”


VIC


“Debbie. Debbie Horvath, I mean, Your Honour.”


I watch Michael and as usual he has tuned her out. He’s not realised that he has a new daddy!


“What the hell?!” Chyna shouts. “When the hell?! Sade party!”


“And you are?!” The Judge demands.


“Chyna Carrington, Your Honour, I got him to fess up! But my questions...


“Fess? Your quest...no, we will have order in my court!” He bangs the gavel a few times. “Explain yourself, M…”


“Mister Miss.” I hear Michael snicker, and then double over as, in his haste to move his case, Jeremy hits him in the stomach.


“I said stand up!” He slowly uncurls. “Now please explain how you got him to fess up?”


“I did what he did and lied. I told him his Mom and Uncle had left The Avenue when they’d just been on holiday. They were always coming back.”


“YOU DID WHAT?!” Michael roars at her.


“Mind fucked you. Savour the experience, cos you ain’t gonna be fucked for a while. Now back to my…”


“Ahem!”


“Whoopsee, my bad! May I ask Your Honour pretty please?!”


“Oh what the hell, go on!”


“So explain yourselves!”


“It’s very simple. Vic and I went on holiday and Carl joined us. We were having a wonderful time, when out of the blue he asked me to marry him. So I answered yes, he said when, and Vic said why not now. So we did.” She waggles her finger and it seems like the proverbial magpie seeing a shiny that’s what gets his attention.


“Ma, who are you engaged to?!”


“I am not engaged. I am married to Carl, and you are going to jail.”

 

Chapter End Notes:

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