CHAPTER 5 - WHO LET THE DOG OUT

OPERA HOUSE - EARLY DAWN

ROOFTOP

JUSTIN

What the fuck did I do to him?! If anybody should’ve been lance up, it should’ve been me! He was the one that got us all punished! I am so fucking fucked the fuck off! I take a break from my raging and pacing and try yet again to play the piece written by Alexander Goehr for du Pré called Romanza for cello and orchestra. I find it soothing and calming. Well normally I would but he’s got me so fucking wound up!

I settle Evelyn between my legs, and run my fingers over her scroll and take another calming breath and begin to play…

BRITIN

MASTER BEDROOM

BRIAN

...I can’t believe I am doing this, but that is driving me fucking nuts! I lean further out of the window, hold my phone out and press Shazam. This is the third time he’s played it...badly... and woken me up. I head back to bed and hope that for both his and my sake that Shazam got it this time...nope!

Fuming with frustration, I scroll through my phone and find the contact for Emmett. I pause briefly before sending him a text, requesting the contact number for my noisy neighbour, or even better Daphne. She seems to be the kind of person who values her sleep!

I snicker as my Tangerine Dream comes to my rescue with both the numbers for him and Daphne. I decide to text Daphne: Morning! Yes very early morning! Can you tell the Maestro to stop massacring whatever the fuck it is he is trying to play? I am in a bad enough mood having endured yesterday, so I need my sleep! Thanks BK.

OPERA HOUSE

DAPH’S ROOM

DAPH

It was the flash that got my attention. Scrambling for my phone, part of me laughs and the other part of me makes me get up so that I can fling Justin and Evelyn off the roof! But first to calm the beast: Romanza for cello and orchestra. I shall get him to go to sleep. Sorry...again DC.

BRITIN

MASTER BEDROOM

BRIAN

Aha now, I know what it is called. I scroll through and find it. I turn the volume on my TV as loud as it can go and open both sets of windows and hit play.

OPERA MANSION

ROOFTOP

JUSTIN

I gape into the open air as the distinctive strings of Romanza float towards me. Is he actually fucking serious about that? Seriously, fucking serious!

“Uh is that…?” Daph comes up warily.

“Yes, it fucking is!” I bellow at her and after putting Evelyn down carefully, I storm downstairs to get my jacket and shoes. Seems that I need to have a word with a certain ill-informed neighbour!

“Justin! Justin wait...he just wanted you to…” Daph calls out but I jam my hat on my head, blocking her out and get in my car.

DAPH

Oh fuck. Oh no. Oh no. Not good! I run back upstairs for my phone and pray he picks up...he doesn’t.

BRITIN - 5 MINUTES LATER

BRIAN

I switch off my TV and feel a little bit guilty for showing him how it should sound, but the way he was playing was not up to his usual standard. And since I am clearly not going to sleep, I might as well make myself some tea. As I lean against the counter waiting for the kettle to boil, I could’ve sworn I heard the door knock.

“Nah, couldn’t have done.”

Bang-bang-bang!

“What the fuck?!” I exclaim, marching to the door to pull it open and there, looking furious, is Justin. “What the hell are you doing here at…”

“Gramophone!” He yells, glaring. “I have won 5 Gramophone Awards for that piece alone, you arrogant bastard! I know how to fucking play it and do not appreciate that oh-so-not fucking subtle reminder! Because of you and your shitty friend and not-so-secret admirer, I ache all over and...and what the hell are you staring at?!”

“I have no idea what a Gramophone Award is but clearly, they were going cheap when they gave you that job lot! As for staring at, I was thinking about the SFA List. You might be my competition, if only that came in an adult size!” I snarl back. “Furthermore, he is not my friend and I hope to fuck, not an admirer! We all suffered because of him, so don’t fucking blame me!”

“But next weekend I have to wear...that!” He screams. “I can’t wait for us to win next Sunday, because you will suffer my vengeful wrath!”

“Vengeful wrath?! Is that the best you’ve got?! What are you 12? No grown ass man says vengeful wrath!” I mock him.

He balls his fist and steam is almost coming out of his ears. “You have no idea what my idea of vengeful is and…”

“...can you see me shaking...NO...that’s because I’m not!” I roar at him my fists equally balled as tightly as his.

“Just you wait!” He storms. “Just you fucking wait!” He yells before whirling around and storming back to his car.

“I can see why you were on the Ass team!” I yell at him.

“And I can see why you are on the Cock team!” He yells back.

“Thanks!” I retort and slam the door hard.

JUSTIN

That did not just happen! That did not just happen! That has got to be the most humiliating argument I have ever had in my life! I sounded like an arrogant blowhard and then I mentioned his cock! I am still sitting in his drive with the doors to my car open, trying to get some cooling air on my heated skin. After 10 minutes, I turn the key and start to drive back home.

Unsurprisingly, there is an unimpressed Daph, standing in the doorway. “Your voice carried. I suggest you don’t play for the next couple of days.”

“Yeah okay.” I mumble and go to bed, my eyes blurring with tears.

When I get to my bedroom, I curl up in a ball and try to muffle my sobs. “What’s this about?” I hear her ask as she sits on the bed. “Justin? What’s this about?”

“I’m so tired and I ache and…” I pause and wipe my eyes. “...Brent wants us to do a tour of Australia in 3 months, for six months and I don’t want to. I’ve been working non-stop for the last four years. I just want a break and…”

“Then take the fucking break!” Daph shouts. “Call him now and tell him you don’t want to do it. You just want to have some fun. You know fun? You’ve done it before!”

“But it’s not just me, is it? And besides Eth…”

“If you say that man’s accursed name, I will put Evelyn through a grinder!”

“He’s been dying to take the lead…”

“Then let him! He’s not, nor will he ever be, as good as you…”

“I’m sorry, Daph.” I sit up and reach for my phone. Sighing, I dial Brent’s number. “Hi Brent, it’s me, Justin. Look about this tour. I really, really like the idea...ouch! For fuck, Daph, let me finish...” I glare at her as she pulled a clump of hair out of my calf. “...but I don’t want to do it. No, I don’t have any other commitments, I just want a rest. Brent, you are my agent! Then why are you are beginning to sound like my keeper and jailer?! I am not doing it! Give the lead to Ethan then. At least, he will get something for all the times he’s blown you! Now goodbye. I have a lot to think about, and yes, your contract is one of them!” I viciously cut the call and stare at an incredulous Daph.

“Brent and...urrrghhh!”

“Yeah, walked in on them going at it once...couldn’t unsee that for a while!

“Wait a second. What was that?”

“The sound of my balls dropping. I can’t believe I finally put Brent in his place!”

“Yeah, that’s great...go you! But no, I mean the barking sound?”

We both go quiet and listen and although it is faint, there is definitely a sound of a dog. We head downstairs and it is coming from the kitchen. We slowly open the door and there, trying to make itself as big as possible under the curious gazes of Cantata and Sonata, is a Weimaraner puppy.

“Oh crap! Shadow!” Daph gasps.

“You know this dog? Whose is it?”

“That would be the Captain of the Cock Team…”

“No! Can you do it, please? Daph, please!”

“Oh no, Captain Bubble Ass. You kidnapped his dog, you give him back!” She laughs and heads back to bed.

BRITIN - TWO HOURS LATER

GROUNDS

BRIAN

I have torn Britin apart and have been calling and calling, but I can’t find him. “Shadow! Here boy!” I yell and my throat is sore and not just because of the shouting. I am trying not to cry. I decide to do one more circuit of the woods and pray my torch holds out.

AN HOUR LATER

He’s gone. Fuck! I dash away the tears and head back home. When I get back, his car is still in the drive. I look inside and can’t see anything. “He must have walked home.” I mutter to myself as I head inside. Silver bounds towards me as soon as I open the door. “Sorry boy, I couldn’t find him.” He licks away my tears as I hold him tightly. It takes me a few seconds for me to get myself together and I get up off the floor. Just as I put him down my phone rings, I look at the ID and it’s Daph. She has called a few times.

“Hey Daph, what...no I haven’t seen him. His car is still here. I managed to lose…hold on!” I rush outside and hammer on the window. A shape moves in the semi darkness and the interior light is switched on. “Do you have my dog?!” I shout at him. He nods and undoes his jacket and a very sleepy, but also very warm Shadow pokes his head out. “Open the door and give me my dog!” I yell, more in relief than anger. He quickly opens up and I almost snatch him off him. “Why did you…”

“I didn’t! He most likely got in while we were screaming at each other or while I was trying to...never mind, have you been crying?”

He scrutinises my face and I afford him the same scrutinisation. “Have you?” I ask.

“Well he’s here now, and that’s all that matters. It was an accident.”

“Thank you for bringing him back.” I bury my face in his fur.

“You’re welcome. And about earlier, I’m…”

“Me too. Oh you need to call Daph. She was worried when you didn’t come back.”

“Fuck! Fell asleep waiting...you’d best get him in, he must be hungry.”

“Goodnight.” I step back so he can close the door.

“Goodnight.” He mutters and I am still in the driveway long after his lights have faded into the distance.

THRUHELL4HEAVEN STUDIOS - THURSDAY LATE AFTERNOON

CYNTHIA

I made the mistake of snickering when both Ted and Brian were limping like old men on Monday and now I am being taught the error of my ways. Thankfully, Brian called in his other fag hag...other fag hag oh I think not...so I wouldn’t be the only girl there.

“So what’s she like then?” I try to keep the pout and the snark out of my voice.

“Feisty, you’ll like her.” He reassures me.

“Oh I doubt it!” I mutter.

The door opens and he smiles at her. “Not her. Hi Chyna, this is Cynthia. She’s joining us today, if that’s okay?”

“Yeah, sure. Nice to meet you, Cynthia. Wait, is she the only one coming?” She asks warily and I frown.

“Daph is coming, and that’s it. Nobody but us four today.” Ted laughs. “Wonder how his nose is? I mean, apart from out of joint!”

“Nice to meet you too, Chyna. But who else are you talking about?” I ask.

“Oh God, tell me he’s not coming, is he?” Another female voice asks from behind me. “I swear, I will…”

“No, he’s not coming, Daph.” Ted pats her arm.

“Who is not coming and why are you all talking about him like he’s the devil incarnate?!” I demand, highly annoyed to be kept out of the loop.

“My fellow Ass-mate, a one Michael Novotny.” Ted groans.

“And the guy who tried to maim Justin during space hopper jousting!” Daphne seethes.

“Maim? What maim? And do you mean Justin as in Justin Taylor lives in the Opera Mansion?”

“Yes.” She looks guarded. “How do you know that?”

“Because I went over to apologise on behalf of this Neanderthal for his less than stellar first impression.” I gasp as I find myself in the grip of a vice like hug. “Okay, why?

“Because you figured out the coffee machine!” She beams at me. “Amazing! I run ChanderTech, but a Nespresso machine is beyond my capabilities unless, ironically, I have a cup of coffee...what?”

“You run ChanderTech?” Brian gapes at her. In fact, we are all gaping at her. “You need to come to Kinnetic straight after this and see if you can do any better than the crappy system that we have inherited.” Brian demands.

“No, no, no...first, she comes to Babylon and then she comes to see you.” Chyna insists. “The entire thing needs an overhaul and the need to disco far outweighs your need to do whatever it is you do.”

“Don’t you need to speak to the owner of Babylon first?” Ted asks.

“True enough…” She turns to face the mirror. “May I? Yes, you may. Thank you! You’re welcome.”

“You own Babylon?!” Ted looks incredulous.

“Yeah for the last three or four years, slowly making it the best in the burgh. But the sound system sucks! So how does $6K to upgrade it by tomorrow sound?”

“Fag hag confused by the riddle talking!” I exclaim. “Start with the maiming…”

By the time they are finished telling me about the idiot, I am good and pissed. “Need to krump this off!” I growl. “What a...a….”

“Swampdick?” Daph suggests causing giggles. “And don’t get me started on David Bangeron...what a greasy creep!”

“Oh my god, I forgot about him!” Chyna exclaims. “I have an iddy biddy bit of gossip about that oleaginous toad. It would seem that he has set his cap at a member of our team. Don’t worry Daph, you’re safe.”

“Thank you snatch and tits!” She grins, dancing round the studio.

“Speaking of dancing, fancy a night there on Saturday? Actually no, make it Friday as we have to be there at...what time...oh and where?” Ted asks, looking at Chyna.

“Not till the afternoon, about three. Now…”

“Can we come?” Daph asks, looking at me and I nod. “Oh, and if I say it’s dancing, Justin will come. After all, he’s got to get some practice for the pole dancing class!”

I pretend not to notice the way that Brian’s eyes lit up just then! But I catch the smirk on Chyna’s face. Hmm, seems I need some one on one time with this lady!

“Did you see that?!” Daph whispers. “We three need to get together and strategize.”

“Hell yeah, we do!” I whisper back and when I look across at Chyna, she winks.

WOODY’S - LATE EVENING

CHYNA

I sip my beer and smirk. “I have a good business head on these trans-shoulders. Nothing, but nothing, gets gay men honing their bodies quicker than someone telling them they are not hot!”

“But...but...that’s just simply genius!” Ems looks so proud. “So you started this list with Sade?”

“Yep.”

“Why not me?” He pouts.

“Because my darling Ems, you would’ve told everyone in seconds!” Vic smiles and signals for another round of drinks.

“True!”

“But back to the most important thing, Desperado and the Eagle.” Vic leans in and we all lean in, frowning.

“Who and the what?” Daph asks and then she nods, excitedly. “That’s the codename for them? I love it! Can we all have codenames? Pretty please!”

“Oh, alright!” I laugh at her enthusiasm. “So you, Cloud, are going to get the Eagle and you, Dream, concentrate on Desperado. Flax, you need to make sure that they see each other and Porcelain, you need to have some serious beats on.” We all nod. “And Doe Eyes, you make sure Basilisk and Pinchpenny are kept busy... with each other!”

“Why am I Doe Eyes?” Ted gripes as our drinks arrive.

“Honey, look in the mirror. You have the most wonderful soulful eyes.” I tell him and he goes pink.

VIC

I feel my phone buzz and look down. It’s a text from Ems: I have a back up plan! You know, just in case the dancing doesn’t work. Supposing there was a mix up on the orders...at least say once every two weeks...

That’s what I love about Ems. He’s as determinedly romantic as all get out...and thanks to his encouragement, I had 6 wonderful years with Rodney. I look around our DATE group and grin. They have no fucking idea what’s going to hit them!

As Ems goes to powder his nose, my phone beeps again. This time, it’s from Chyna: so what are we going to do about the Tight End and the Quarterback?

DEB AND VIC’S HOUSE - SATURDAY EVENING

BATHROOM

MICHAEL

“Ouch Ma, be careful!” I snipe as she dabs cover up on my face to hide the bruises that cow caused.

“You take a dick up your ass; a cover stick is nothing!” She snaps. “Remind me again, how this happened?”

“Like I said, I got punched in the face by…”

“Hopped in the face!” Uncle Vic bellows through the door and she frowns at me before opening it. “Hey Sis, when did you get back?” He asks, kissing her on the cheek. “How was Florida? Did you restore their pride?”

“Damn right, I did! Now what’s with the hopped vs punched?”

I listen in dismay as he tells her in excruciating detail about the wager I lost. The look she gave me when she found out I had that much money stashed away almost melted my face. But her eyes lit up on hearing about Brian, so I play up to her romantic side. “I really like him Ma, but I think he’s a bit out of my league.”

“He is.” I hear Uncle Vic mutter, but say nothing.

“Nobody is out of your league, sweetheart. It’s all about how you present yourself.”

“So you’ll help me, Ma? You’ll help me get Brian?” I plead.

“Of course honey, of course!” She grins back at me. “Now first, let’s start with the clothes!”

BABYLON - 2 HOURS LATER

CHYNA

I know immediately when the gang’s all here. I look up from my decks and spot Desperado coming in with Dream. He immediately signals for drinks and then, in comes Cloud with Eagle.

Time to drop it like it’s hot!