CHAPTER 12 - HOW’D YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS IN THE MORNING?
BRITIN - FRIDAY MORNING
KITCHEN
BRIAN
I can’t believe how ridiculously excited I am about my first food order! I keep looking up the drive to see the van. When my phone beeps, I smile. “Great minds think alike but am in the kitchen staring at the drive!” I text back to the one from Justin, saying he’s sitting on his roof waiting for his delivery. I still can’t believe what we did last night. Ems must have been driven mad by the last minute changes we made!
But that is nothing compared to what Chyna emailed the guest list at Babylon last night. It’s Disco Inferno Ugly Shirt Knight. Naturally, David had to email to say that she had spelt night wrong, until she fired back that the person who was wearing the ugliest shirt would be crowned Sir for the night. So as a Knight of the Realm, it is the correct spelling, and as said Sir, he would get a slave of his choice, who would have to do his bidding all night! So, when we turn up on the door, we just take a sealed pack and we have to give up our shirt or we don’t get in. I am not looking forward to this!
I look up as I hear the crunch of gravel and the van is here. “Calm down, Kinney. It’s only fucking food!” I berate myself, while sending Justin a text to say it’s arrived so should be with him soon!
“Nobody says yay with sprinkles!” I snicker as I open the door and wave the guy in. But ten minutes later, I am in the van and we're on our way to Justin’s. I had to direct the driver as he had no idea how to get there...okay, I want to see his roof!
VIC AND DEB’S HOUSE - 20 MINUTES LATER
LOUNGE
MICHAEL
I glare at the screen and wait for the idiot on the other end of the phone to get her manager to sort out the money in my bank account, which is considerably less than it should be. “Yes, this is he. I have been holding for ages! Well, when you have a busy day, two minutes is a long time. Well yes, there is a huge problem. I should have more money in there than what’s showing. Can you tell me what happened? Yes, I know I could look at the transaction screen, but I want you to tell me, as these calls are recorded and that way we're both covered. Ah, I see. Right. Well I don’t remember doing that, but I was suffering from a concussion round that time. Oh well, I will get that back off of her. Was anything else set up around that time I may have been accidentally been responsible for? Oh, I see. That's most unfortunate.” Fuming, I cut the call just as Ma comes in with Uncle Vic.
Uncle Vic looks me up and down and grimaces. “Have you even bathed yet or have just sat there marinating your own mankiness?”
“I have been on the phone to the bank, trying to sort out my finances. So when were you going to tell me, Ma?” I stare accusingly at her.
“Tell you what? I thought you could smell your own overdeveloped musk!” She snaps, curling her lip in disgust. “For goodness sake, have some pride and get yourself cleaned up! How do you think you are going to keep a man of David’s calibre if you don’t have some pride in yourself?!”
“I don’t want David! Like I have said repeatedly, I want Brian. And I have also made it clear to David that he doesn't have a chance with me. He’s okay for the stupid ass competition, which to be honest, if it wasn’t for the prize, I wouldn’t even bother with him at all. But if you want him so bad, then you date him! Shame he's not…”
“I dare you to finish that sentence and hope to stay in this house!” Uncle Vic growls and steps up to me. “You and your attitude both stink. Change it or get the fuck out!”
“Ma knows that I am joking, Uncle Vic. I thought you knew that too.” I blink up at him slowly. It works with Ma. You never know it might work with him, too.
“You never joke, Michael. You make nasty remarks with a ghoulish smile. Being pretty only takes you so far but your ugliness bleeds through every time. Now get upstairs and out of our sight and noses! Sis, where’s the Lysol?”
I head upstairs to my room without another word to either of them. I can’t believe he just spoke to me like that! I can’t wait until Brian and I are together then I can blow this old folks home. I have been looking at the pictures of Britin and it is just my sort of place... very majestic! And if he gets annoying, I can have one wing to myself while he can have the other.
VIC
I look at Debs and she’s still shellshocked from this morning’s developments. Now this, I feel has sealed his doom for him. “Sis? Sis? Do you want me to make you a coffee?”
“No, something a lot stronger!” She grumbles, heading determinedly to the drinks cart. “I still can’t believe it.”
“Believe it, Sis. I’ve always thought he felt like this, but to have said it...”
“He took it well, considering.” She tries. “Oh Vic, what am I going to do?”
“Nothing. Let it be handled by someone better than you.” I reply darkly.
I take out the shopping and shake my head at the steaks that I had bought, thinking it would be nice to have for dinner tonight. Well he can go fuck himself on that one…
Start of flashback
GROCERY STORE - AN HOUR EARLIER
VIC
“And whom do you think you are buying those for?” Ems pokes his head between our shoulders, grinning. “They look like nice steaks. What’s the occasion?”
“Oh nothing. Just a nice family dinner tonight.” Debs answers and then frowns. “Do either of you know that guy who is staring at us?”
We look across, and while I don’t recognize him, Ems breaks into a grin. “Hey, Mr Delivery Man! How are you? Were they delivered safe and sound?”
“They were indeed, Mr Honeycutt. I was on my way to see you with a message, but I didn’t like the box it came in, so was getting another one…”
“You have the message on you right now?” Ems gasps, starting to grin wider.
“Uh yes. But…”
“Oh please, pretty please!” He bats his eyes and I can see the guy’s resolve starting to weaken.
“Can I at least put it in the box and then show you?” He smiles.
“Yes! Ooh there’s a cafe just over there, so you can show us in there! I know the two of you are dying to know, too.”
CAFE - 15 MINUTES LATER
Ems stir his coffee thoughtfully. Debs is close to exploding! “It seems. I have an admirer. He sent me these.” He turns his phone to face us and her eyes light up. “Gorgeous, aren’t they? And in return, I sent him these.”
“Oh my goodness, Ems, they are beautiful! So what happens next?”
“We meet in Babylon and he is to be wearing pink to make wink and…”
“Sorry that’s not quite right, Mr Honeycutt.” Mr Delivery Man comes up, grinning. “Slight change in plan. You are required to wear this, so that he can kiss the hand of his Prince.” He hands him the box which he opens and quickly closes. “Beautiful, isn’t it?”
“His Prince?” Ems echoes.
“Ems?!” Debs tries to take the box off of him but he pulls back. “Well at least show us then!”
Slowly, he opens it again and turns the box.
The entire table is silent as is the table behind. “Heavens!” A well dressed Otter gasps. “If you don’t want that, I’ll take it!”
“Get in line!” I declare. “Nice and chunky!”
“What’s the message?” Mr Delivery Man prompts.
“First, what is your name?”
“Tinklebell.”
“Tinklebell?” We all repeat dumbfounded and then we twig when he wiggles his hips and there it is a little tinkle of a bell. Ems, of course, can’t help but burst out into raucous laughter.
“I don’t care what he wants to say; you are all kinds of awesome!” The Otter beams.
“What who wants to say?” I ask.
“That Stinky Tinky Dinky Winky, hops round like the he’s something special. Oh, you should’ve heard him at dinner. He didn’t see me of course, too busy wallowing in his greatness like a pig in its own shit! I mean, the guy he was with is no better! But the overbearance of the man...Sheesh!”
“Who are you talking about and what has whosoever been saying about me?!” Ems exclaims.
“Oh, I don’t know his name. I just know him as the Stinky Tinky Dinky Winky or Big Q-Skidder. He said he slipped in their store and got a shitload of money from them. Slipped my ass! I’ve heard told that he did it deliberately and paid some of his comp to his attorney to keep quiet, rather coincidental that said attorney gave up his practice after he took on that case.”
I watch both Ems and Debs go pale. “So, um what did he say about him? This irascible person, I mean.”
“That you’re too much of a flamer for him and he’s only using your friendship to get Brian. I believe his exact words were, ‘he serves a purpose’. But at least we know who not to vote for during the Studs of the Staff. While he was dumping his date, he said that he would win and would be taking Brian with him on the trip. Not sure if he meant that Brian is one of the Studs or not though.”
Tinklebell looks at Ems and then points at the ring. “That A-Lister will be lucky to get the wrapper to sniff, such is his charm. He will never get one of those. Hold onto that.” He gives his hips another swivel and that brings a smile to his face, but I can see he is still hurt. Ted warned him that STD was out for nobody but himself. “So what's the return message?”
“Do I have to wear it on my finger?” Ems smirks.
“I’ll pass that on!” He giggles and strides out.
5 MINUTES LATER
Debs and I make our way back home and I vow to have a word with Chyna before she sorts through those shirts!
End of flashback
“You know what, Sis. We’ll take a leaf out of his book...and look after ourselves.”
OPERA HOUSE - AN HOUR LATER
KITCHEN
JUSTIN
This is has gone from the ridiculous to the preposterous! We are in our...my kitchen, sorting through our deliveries. “But I want the blueberries! You said you don’t like blueberries.” I pout and try to wrest them out of his box, but he swats my hand away. “Ouch, no hitting! Aha, the kumquats!”
“No! Here have the blueberries!” He hands them over quickly. “I thought I ordered the baby kale.”
“You did! Here! How do you eat that?”
“With crispy garlic and chilli. It’s wonder...what?” He frowns.
“The look on your face when you described that... Okay, you have to make that for me!”
“Now?” He starts to rifle through cupboards before turning to face me. “Do you own any cookware?” I decide to find the delivery box very interesting. “Justin? Do you and Daph know how to cook?”
“Yes. I make a very mean…” I trail off when he lifts my chin so that I am looking at him while trying to think of a plausible lie! Then think fuck it just go with the truth! “I’ve never had to. I’ve always had staff or gone from hotel to hotel and…” He silences me with a very soft, and I hope non-judgemental, kiss.
“So, what would you like to know how to cook?”
“You’d teach me?” I grin up at him.
“Yeah. But the first thing we need to do is get something to cook in!”
“Let me have a think...oh you don’t do fat…”
“What is it you want to cook?” He gives my side a pinch.
“Chicken wings, really spicy ones that...you are kidding me? You’re a wing nut?!”
“I can’t believe you actually just said that! Come on, let’s finish this and then go get the needful. Wing nut... he actually called me a wing nut!” While he’s bitching, I reach for the confit of salmon that he never told me about. “Put that back!” He bellows.
“No!” I yell, clutching it to my chest and backing away. “You never said anything to me about that!”
“He only had one left. And you never said you like...Justin, come back here!” He yells as I start running away with my bounty from the fishing county! I giggle as he bears down on me and I manage to get to the stairs that lead to the roof. But before I can take a step, I find myself hauled back into his chest. “Give!” He demands.
“No!” I declare, trying to wriggle away but he’s holding me too firmly.
“Give it!” He demands again laughing and I turn in his arms. “Please give it.”
“Is it really that good?” I ask, reading what exactly is in it.
“It’s my decadent breakfast with a poached egg on sourdough bread.” I slowly look up at him in awe. “What?
“You can cook a poached egg?”
“Oh, fuck me. Right, let’s get everything in the fridge and go shopping!”
OPERA HOUSE - TWO HOURS LATER
ROOF
BRIAN
It took about an hour of heaving and swearing, but we have now got a nice sofa up here, and sitting next to me is a very proud Justin! He has made his first ever perfectly cooked poached egg, and he’s right, he does make a very mean slice of toast! His crust to crust is a must mantra with regards to butter is actually sweet. Less sweet was his tongue between his teeth when he was cooking...the gesture was sweet; my thoughts, not so much!
“Okay, so what’s next?” He asks, licking some yolk off of his fingers.
“Well, while the wings are marinating for lunch...play for me?”
“Really?” He blushes with pride and I nod. “Okay let me go and get Evelyn. What do you want to hear?”
“Romanza.”
“Perfect choice.” He smiles and leans down to kiss me. Then with an impudent wiggle, goes to get her.
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