March 28 - Birth Class: Managing Labor Pain

Brian yawned and set his toothbrush into its holder, wiped down the counter with a hand towel before tossing it into the hamper and then left the bathroom, flicking the light off as he headed out to the bedroom. Scrubbing a hand through his still damp hair, he walked over to the bed and joined an equally damp Justin, who was busy pulling up the website for their online birth classes, not that he was looking forward to it by any means.

Between spending all day at Kinnetik, browbeating his art department into producing something that at least passed as art; and then spending all evening taking care of Luc, since his favorite twat had offered them up for babysitting duty in order to give Blake his Teddy Time, he was exhausted. (Brian shuddered every time he thought about that.) And he'd love nothing better than to curl up next to his husband and sleep for the next twelve hours or more.

Sadly, because they were babysitting, that wasn't possible, as Luc would likely be awake within the next thirty minutes to an hour or so, demanding a change and his final bottle. So, they might as well do something utterly mindless while waiting. And he did mean utterly mindless as so far, he hadn't found much of worth in these so-called classes.

"You ready?" Justin asked, clicking on the link that would take them to the third class or chapter as they liked to call them.

"Is anyone ever ready for hours of mind-numbing torture, Sunshine?" Brian quipped, scooting closer to Justin and his laptop and then leaning back against the mound of pillows Justin had stacked up behind him.

"Stop exaggerating," Justin huffed as he queued up the introductory video; but Brian noted that he seemed less than enthused about this particular class and that had him dreading this coming set of videos. On the other hand, it might also give him a chance to get a little of his own back. "It's only twenty-three minutes long."

"Feels like hours," Brian muttered, yelping when Justin's pointy elbow buried into his ribs once again; well, at least most of the bruises had healed in the interim.

Justin huffed and turned back to the computer, unenthusiastically studying the page that read – Managing Labor Pain. He snorted and quipped, "That's easy – give me drugs, the good ones."

"Now, now, Sunshine," Brian smirked, snickering when Justin continued to look at the page with little interest. He was definitely going to have fun with this one based on that expression alone. "You're stealing my lines."

"You know," Justin said as nonchalantly as possible, looking at Brian from the corner of his eye. "Seeing as how I'm having a c-section, and that by definition means drugs for pain management, we could skip this particular class."

And Brian was tempted to give in for a few seconds, because really, it hadn't been his idea to watch these classes in the first place. But then the need for revenge kicked in and he decided that it was only fair that Justin got to feel what the last two classes had felt for him. Plus, he still hadn't adequately paid the twat back for the triplets prank.

"Now, now, now, Sunshine," Brian said, a bland smile pasted onto his face. "You know better than that; what if we missed something important by skipping this?"

Justin's mouth dropped open as he turned and stared at Brian as if he'd grown a second head; Brian stared right back, his eyes wide and guileless, even as he was snickering on the inside. Justin scowled and huffed as he turned back to the computer screen

"This is payback for the first two classes, isn't it?" Justin groused, stabbing at the keyboard with no little amount of irritation.

"Oh, you bet it is," Brian said with relish, sinking further into the pillows with a smug grin. "Bet you're regretting forcing me to watch that nonsense now, aren't you?"

"I knew that was going to bite me in the ass," Justin muttered, yelping when Brian slid a hand down and squeezed said ass.

"Ah, but it is such a lovely ass to bite," Brian smirked, snickering when Justin smacked his hand away and started the first video.

Can I Make Labor Less Painful?

"I don't know, can you?" Brian asked their ever helpful birth guide, Edith; who was still wearing her boring, bland khaki suit jacket up against her bland boring white background. The least they could have done is changed it up every now and then; maybe then people would be popping NoDoz to get through these travesties. Why exactly had he refused to take a pass on these again? "What do you think, Sunshine?"

"Yeah, it's called drugs," Justin grumbled, shooting daggers at a far too smug and snickering Brian. He reached over to the mouse and navigated the cursor to the next episode button. "Next video."

"Well, I don't know, Sunshine," Brian said, grabbing his hand before he could actually click the button. Justin growled under his breath. Right. This was why he decided to go ahead with the class. Aggravated Justin in need of revenge was so much fun. "It might do us some good to watch this one just to see if there are other techniques that we can learn for before the drugs kick in."

"You are such a dick," Justin muttered under his breath; he flopped back onto the pillows, a pretty pout on his lips and stared balefully at Edith, who just continued to prattle on about how through endorphins and adrenaline, the body has it's own ways of lessening or worsening the pain of labor respectively.

He looked less than impressed with the information.

"You love my dick," Brian quipped, skillfully dodging a flying elbow and then capturing a disgruntled Justin against his chest, where Brian could control those evil little elbows and minimize the damage to his already aching ribs.

"Not at the moment," Justin huffed, working his hand free to pinch him in the thigh instead; the little shit. Brian bit back a yelp as he was determined not to give Justin the satisfaction of his pained reaction.

"I'll bet I can change your mind," Brian purred against his husband's ear, all but dripping sex into it and smirking when Justin squirmed in his arms.

But his husband remained silent, choosing to listen to Edith's words of wisdom, if you could call them that. She prattled on about endorphins being the feel good hormones that reduce the perception of pain, and that it was important to maintain a panic-free environment in order to produce a high enough level of them to potentially see you through a drug-free birth. Somehow, he didn't see that happening with Justin, even if he hadn't been scheduled for a planned cesarean.

"Ah, Edith," Brian fondly quipped, chuckling when Justin continued to scowl at their birth guru. "Stating the obvious once again; what would we do without her expertise?"

"You're the one that wanted to watch it," Justin said, his arms crossed over his chest; and honestly, Brian was having more fun watching his reactions than anything.

"I just think it's important to be aware of all our choices, Sunshine," Brian intoned piously, desperately trying to keep a straight face in the wake of his utter hypocrisy. Justin didn't bother to hold back, turning around to stare at him in utter disbelief. "Wasn't that what you were telling me last week?"

"Such a dick," Justin muttered as he turned back around and glared at the screen.

"It is magnificent, isn't it?" Brian preened, laughing when Justin huffed in indignation.

"Adrenaline can slow labor, stressing the baby and making contractions more painful. Remaining calm and planning ahead can alleviate this; and one helpful way to do that is what you are doing right now – learning about birth. The more you understand what's going on, the less of a mystery it will be."

"See Sunshine," Brian pointed to the screen. "Even she agrees with me. Be prepared!"

"I'm fairly certain that I will be far too drugged up to care what's happening around me, Brian," Justin snorted. "Panic is so not an issue here."

And he made an excellent point; considering there was going to be an anesthesiologist present in the delivery room, they were going to be giving him the good stuff; which meant that Justin wasn't going to have a care in the world once it took hold. Shrugging, Brian turned back to the video and rolled his eyes as she explained the fight-or-flight response and its negative impact on labor, potentially increasing a person's pain; and offering up ways to reduce the carriers panic and thus the production of stress hormones. As if they couldn't have figured that out on their own.

"Another thing that helps is having a calm supportive person close enough to touch you," Edith said with a bland smile, "which has been shown to reduce stress."

"Well, that rules you out," Justin snorted, giggling when Brian let out an offended huff. "Calm is not a word I'd ever use for you."

"I don't know, Sunshine," Brian smirked, teasing his hands along Justin's thighs as he ground his dick against Justin's ass. "I've always been told I'm great at stress relief…"

"Why does it always come back to your dick?" Justin mocked complained; smirking when Brian groaned as he ground back against him in retaliation.

"Why is that even a question?" Brian huffed, but then stopped teasing the twat as his husband never played fair.

Pain Medication during Labor: How Common is it?

"One U.S. survey shows that eighty-six percent of carriers used drugs to cope with labor pain…" Edith informed them; this after telling them that there were a few options for pain medication during labor, the most commonly used being an epidural.

Again, it was nothing Earth shattering to Brian; or anyone who had actually done their homework for that matter. He kept waiting for something to come up that he hadn't heard a thousand times before; and so far, he'd been disappointed each and every time.

"That's because they're sane," Justin muttered, drawing a snort from Brian; he vividly recalled Justin shutting Lindsay's natural birth monologue down last month. And he couldn't resist giving his husband a bad time.

"But Sunshine," Brian mocked, barely quelling a snicker when Justin turned and gave him the evil eye. "Natural birth is an empowering, beautiful and spiritual experience."

"Then you do it," Justin retorted. "Me, even if drugs weren't required, because again – cesarean; I would be the first in line when they're passing out drugs like candy…"

"Oh, fuck that," Brian grimaced at the mere thought; he could barely stand stubbing his big toe, there was no way in hell that he would even attempt trying natural birth if he were indeed able to carry a child in the future. "Where in my past does it say that I'm someone that would ever forego the blissed out and happy about it route?"

"But honey," Justin simpered. "Don't you want to join the ranks of carriers that stubbornly powered through the pain like the brave little troopers they are?"

"No." Brian succinctly stated, making Justin snicker as he returned his attention to the video that was still playing in the background.

"It's important to note that natural techniques only help you cope with the pain," Edith gravely emphasized, as if she were imparting some great unknown secret and not just basic common sense. "It doesn't eliminate it."

"All the more reason to embrace the drugs…" Justin muttered under his breath with a little laugh; which made Brian snicker as well. At least he had his priorities straight.

Brian sighed, already bored to tears by the topic, which seemed to be yet more overview opposed to dealing with the specifics of pain management; and why the fuck they need two introductory segments, he didn't know. Wouldn't have made more sense to put this together with the first video? The first one wasn't even three minutes long and this one hadn't even hit a minute and a half. It just seemed poorly planned.

"So, to recap," Brian said as the video came to an abrupt end, with Edith explaining that there was a range of options available. "Most carriers take the drugs, natural birth is going to hurt like fuck no matter what you do, and if you want drugs, you better speak up before the baby is ready to pop out or it won't matter if you have them or not."

Justin arched a brow and waited, knowing Brian well enough to figure that there had to be more to that statement, and he was just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"I'm glad that we watch these things, Sunshine," Brian continued with a serene smile. "God knows how I'd survive without Edith here to fill me in on reams of useless information; who knows, I might actually have to use my common sense."

Justin huffed and flipped him off as he cued the next video.

Natural Pain Relief: Breathing Techniques

Brian stared at the screen and wanted to face palm; he had to admit, he was this close to cracking and letting Justin off the hook because he did not sign up for this shit. In fact, he very specifically chose not to sign up for classes for this very reason; because he knew eventually he'd be forced to do some pointless breathing exercise that everyone knew didn't do shit for relieving the contractions no matter how much you practiced.

But here he was, sitting in bed with his equally dubious, pregnant husband, watching their birthing expert demonstrate the appropriate way to breathe through a contraction, her face smooth, unlined and the epitome of calm. Yeah, right. He'd love to see just how calm she'd been when trying to employ these techniques during one of her actual births.

"One breathing technique is to take slow, deep breaths that fill your lungs," Edith prattled, holding a hand against her diaphragm. "Typically; you'll breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Listen to the sound of your breath as you exhale." She paused and took two huge breaths to demonstrate the appropriate method. "You can do them on your own or with your partner. Look each other in the eye and breathe together. Let's try that now."

Brian exchanged a dubious glance with Justin as the watched their birth instructor take several more measured breaths, he assumed so that they could follow along if they so desired. He was feeling ridiculous sitting there, doing nothing but watch this woman breathe in and out; so. He decided to have a little fun at Justin's expense. He sat up, jostling the laptop and making it slide off Justin's lap. He spread his legs further apart and pulled Justin up against his chest to support his back, much like he'd seen the couples in the video doing in the brief flash of a Lamaze class.

"What are you doing?" Justin asked with a frown, his brows pinching with confusion, as Edith continued to coach them through their breathing exercise.

"Alright, Sunshine," Brian said once he had Justin sitting up properly; he grabbed Justin's hand and rested it just above his baby bump, and on top of his diaphragm. "You heard the woman, place you hand here and get ready."

"Brian…" Justin scowled and shot him a mutinous glare; likely because he was well aware that Brian was merely mocking him. "You know damned well that this is completely unnecessary since I'm having a cesarean; there will be minimal to no labor."

And Brian did know that; in fact, that had been his entire point during the first two classes, and why he'd tried, unsuccessfully, to convince Justin to skip certain classes. But the twat had found his reactions to the various topics amusing and had pressed on despite the fact that they didn't apply to their particular pregnancy. Brian head every intention of getting his own bit of revenge for that.

"You never know, Sunshine," Brian blithely stated, ignoring his husband's irritated growl. " You could go into labor early and there might be a delay before they can get you into the operating theater. These exercises just might come in handy. Come on, now; practice with me – in for three counts and…ow!"

Brian cursed under his breath as a pointy elbow embedded itself into his gut. He should have expected that from the abusive little brat; but he was having for too much fun mocking this entire process to remember Justin's penchant for pummeling his body parts when he was displeased with the turn of events.

"That what you get for being a smart ass…" Justin huffed, grabbing the laptop and placing it back on his belly while Brian massaged his throbbing ribs. Just wait until this pregnancy was over; he was so pulling the brat over his knee and getting even for all of the spousal abuse he'd been subject to lately.

They settled back into watching the, frankly, pointless and mind-numbingly dull video just in time for it to switch over to, what he presumed was supposed to be the expert for this particular segment. The title beneath the name stated she was a doula, a professional birth coach, meant to discuss how proper breathing techniques helped ease contractions during birth. The only problem was, the woman talked in circles, repeating everything that Edith had just told them and in a less concise, clear manner.

"What exactly was the point to that?" Justin huffed as the woman prattled on about nothing. "I always thought that bringing in experts meant you were going to flesh out and expand on a point, not repeat the same damned thing you said not five seconds before."

"As I said before," Brian snorted. "You obviously chose the videos made for those with learning disabilities." He paused and snickered at Justin's disgruntled frown. "I do like the doula's Earth Mother vibe though; it really suits the background music and makes me want to 'embrace the natural ebb and flow of the contractions and breathe my way through'…ow!"

"Okay, Lindsay Junior…" Justin groused as Brian rubbed his arm; maybe he wouldn't wait until after the pregnancy. There had to be a way to spank his brat without doing harm to the baby. "You have fun with that; me, I'm having them knock me the fuck out."

"You take that back," Brian demanded, offended that Justin had even had the gall to compare him to Lindsay and her new age, Earth Mother bullshit.

"Make me," Justin challenged; and really, he should have known better than that. Brian never backed down from a challenge.

"Ohhh, you are so asking for it, Sonny Boy," Brian huffed; he paused the video, set the laptop aside, wrapped an arm around Justin's chest, and pinned him against him. Justin squawked with indignation as Brian rolled him over a bit, his stomach safely cushioned on the pillows and delivered four swift swats to his ass, two on each cheek. "Give up?"

"Never," Justin huffed, and then squirmed and moaned a bit as Brian delivered two more solid smacks to his ass before rubbing away the sting. "Fuck…Brian."

"I would," Brian smirked, flipping his husband back over and pulling him into the apex of his thighs, grinding his very interested dick into Justin's ass. "But sadly, you have us watching these inane videos and really, we should get back to that. Who knows what we'll miss if we were to get distracted now."

"Asshole," Justin muttered, rubbing his stinging ass as he grabbed the laptop; he set it back on his belly and hit play just in time for the doula to stop her rambling and cuing up 'real' moms and their vast experiences with said breathing techniques.

"Oh, 'real' mom testimonials," Brian deadpanned. "See, Sunshine; we could have missed out on watching these and that would've been a tragedy. I mean, they make me feel all warm and fuzzy, and included; it's like there is someone out there that really understands what we're going through."

"Ha ha," Justin snorted, rolling his eyes at Brian's over the top gushing. "You're a riot."

"Breathing really helped and it sounds so simple," the first 'real' mom stated; and Brian couldn't help but wonder if they'd purposely picked women that looked washed out and like they hadn't slept in months to make a point; or if they'd told the make-up artist to make them look pale as ghosts on purpose. "But just really paying attention to my breathing as I was going through a contraction and trying to focus on that rather than on the pain, which is a lot harder than it sounds, obviously."

"Did that make any sense to you?" Justin asked, his brow pinched as he stared at the screen utterly perplexed by whatever point the mom was trying, and failing, to make.

"I definitely feel like there was a whole point missing in there somewhere," Brian said; he shook his head, equally confused by way the woman's words had been cut off in the end, leaving a half finished thought dangling. "Someone in editing fucked up."

They both shrugged and then listened to the remaining testimonials that pretty much went against everything that Edith and the doula, Sunny, had tried to impart.

"So, to recap the mom testimonials," Brian hummed. "Breathing through it doesn't really work no matter what they tell you; the end. Look at that; I could have easily saved us from losing three minutes and ten seconds of our life."

"I could have told you that," Justin groused. "Hence the copious mentions of me spending the entire time drugged off my ass."

"I think the point is that any carrier could have told us that, Sunshine," Brian said, grabbing Justin's hands and lacing them together to avoid the impending smack, jab or pinch. "But aren't we lucky to have such an expert to fill in the gaps?"

"You're such an asshole," Justin said under his breath; groaning when Brian just grinned unrepentantly and cued the next video. "Why do I even put up with you?"

Natural Pain Relief: Walking and Changing Positions

"Well since I'll be hooked up to machines and won't be able to walk, this is pointless," Justin said as he once again tried to fast forward to the next video, growling when he was thwarted once again by Brian, who retained control of the laptop.

"Not necessarily," Brian said, smirking when Justin pouted. "After all, I'm sure there must be something that you can do despite having to stay on or near the bed."

"I don't know what's more disturbing," Justin huffed, glaring at a smiling Edith, again dressed in her requisite boring outfit; someone should really tell her that there are other colors other than brown and white. "Edith's bounty of bland, or you actually paying attention to the videos."

"But, Sunshine," Brian simpered, drawing his husband's perturbed frown. "I thought you'd be happy that I'm taking such a vested interest in your birth guru's words."

"If I thought you were even being halfway serious," Justin huffed, glaring balefully over his shoulder. "I'd be hauling your ass to the emergency room for a head exam."

Brian shrugged; it wasn't like he could keep the pretense up for long and really, he wasn't even trying to. Something that was obvious through his every action. Sighing, Brian listened as Edith informed them that moving positions could alleviate pain…blah, blah, blah…your own body will naturally guide you in this…yadda yadda…that it could help in getting your baby into a good delivery position. Again, it was nothing he cared about in the grand scheme of things as Justin wouldn't make it to this stage of labor. He did perk up, however when she listed things you can do and the potential for using some of the techniques, even if you were confined in bed.

"You can try several types of movement and positions; for example, walk, stand, sway, lean against your partner or a wall, kneel on all fours, rock in a chair or on a birthing ball, lie on your side or straddle a stool. If you need to stay in or near your bed, it's still possible to give some of these a try."

"See, told you so," Brian said, feeling decidedly smug.

"Bite me," Justin groused; Brian rolled his lips under and contemplated doing just that, but then held off as when he got started, he didn't want to be interrupted.

"Way too easy, Sunshine," Brian smirked, barely paying attention to the mom testimonials before he pressed the button to take them to the next video.

Natural Pain Relief: Massage

"Physical touch can be a powerful comfort, whether it's light, soothing strokes, or firm pressure," Edith said with a warm smile. And honestly, Brian had to bite his lower lip from making a particularly raunchy observation on those words. He must not have been too successful however as Justin instantly turned around and glared.

"Don't say it," Justin huffed, pointing a finger at him

"Say what?" Brian asked, all faux innocence.

"Please," Justin snorted as he looked back at the screen where the masseuse was demonstrating the double hip squeeze, pressing her loosely closed fists into the meaty parts of the hip on a pregnant woman draped over a birthing ball for support. "Like I don't know exactly where your mind went in that moment; I know you to well."

"Sunshine, really," Brian huffed in mock indignation, his hand pressed against his chest in mock offense. "You need to get your mind out of the gutter; must it always be about sex with you these days?"

Justin snorted at his utter gall, rolling his eyes as he fast-forwarded through the first exercise and landed on the second, the low back squeeze. Brian didn't bother to chide him on it either because he was starting to lose his own patience with the way these so-called experts rambled on and on in circles. Plus, he'd already learned these techniques when he learned prenatal massage last month.

"I'm not even going to dignify that with a remark," Justin huffed.

Natural Pain Relief: Water

"You know," Justin said, cocking his head to the right, and studying Edith; it was obvious that he was paying absolutely no attention whatsoever to what was happening or being said on the video. "I wonder if Edith actually needs glasses, or is it just an attempt to make her seem more authoritative."

"Image is everything in advertising, Sunshine," Brian said, letting the words flow over and fall off him much like the subject in the video. There was really nothing to say about this so-called relaxation and pain management technique that wasn't obvious.

"What? No other commentary?" Justin mocked, one brow arched.

"Honestly, I don't really have anything good or bad to say about this," Brian shrugged. "All it said was, if it hurts, try soaking in a bath or standing in a shower to ease the pain; which makes sense as you would do the same for sore muscles. Nothing to mock"

"There's a first," Justin snorted, yelping when Brian chose to pinch him on the ass for that bit of sass.

Medical Pain Relief: Epidural

"Here we go," Justin crowed, sitting up and looking alert for the first time since they'd started this little exercise about thirty minute ago. It should have been twenty minutes, but they'd spent a good ten minutes goofing off between and during videos, so it took them longer than the stated time. "Finally, something that's useful."

Brian had to agree that this was actually getting closer to their actual needs in terms of delivery assistance. While the other techniques were likely sound and helpful to a degree, including the video before this which covered systemic medications (which were delivered through an IV and were really only meant to dull the pain, not block it ); they weren't all that helpful for their delivery. Not that Brian was going to say that out loud.

"But I thought you enjoyed these things, Sunshine," he said instead, unable to resist needling his husband. "You're usually so enthusiastic about viewing them."

"I just don't see the point in learning about coping devices when I'm not going to actually go through the full birth process," Justin grumbled.

"Kinda like learning the stages of birth last week?" Brian prompted, smirking when Justin scowled and refused to answer. "Yeah, that's what I thought; welcome to my hell, Sunshine. Enjoy the Twinkies."

"Asshole," Justin huffed, jabbing Brian in the gut with his elbow; but it didn't do much damage this time as Brian had wisely placed a pillow there in the guise of supporting Justin's back, but really was meant to protect him from his tetchy husband's abuse.

His smirk broadened as he turned towards the video and then paled as he watched the anesthesiologist prepping a pregnant woman's back with iodine and then hold up a long, thin tube that had to be at least three inches in length and inserted it into an equally long metal casing. He squirmed as they then pulled out a skeleton and demonstrated just where the epidural would be inserted near the spine as Edith did the voiceover.

"Here's how it works. An anesthesiologist or nurse anesthetist will numb a small patch of skin on your lower back. Then you'll stay very still while he inserts a tiny tube between two of your vertebrae into the space near your spinal cord. This small area is called the epidural space, which is where the procedure gets its name."

"They call that tiny?" Brian asked, flinching a little at the thought of that thing being jabbed into his husband's back.

"Well it is rather slender…" Justin hummed, but even he looked a little pale and squeamish as the anesthesiologist fumbled a bit with the placement; and Brian couldn't help flinching again. He really hoped their anesthesiologist was much more competent.

"That is a big fucking needle-like tube, Sunshine," Brian said, swallowing harshly as the woman came back on the screen and she made a noticeable flinch forward as the anesthesiologist pressed against her back. "And they're shoving it into your spine."

"They are not," Justin protested weakly; but he too had noticed that flinch and didn't look very happy about it all. "It's being inserted into an area between the vertebrae; she just said that. There is a noticeable gap there."

"It looks all the same to me from where I'm sitting," Brian muttered, shuddering when he replayed the demonstration back in his mind.

"Do me a favor," Justin huffed, looking as if he'd rather be anywhere than there at the moment. "If you can't handle it, leave the room; I do not need you passing out on me."

Brian hummed; he was fine. Really. He could totally handle this…so long as he didn't actually have to watch it being inserted. And actually, if he remembered correctly, he wouldn't even be allowed into the operating theater until after the drugs were administered, so that solved that problem all around.

"Once the tube is inserted," Edith continued as the anesthesiologist soothed the poor, traumatized looking woman. "You won't feel it; and it contains a combination of a local anesthetic and a narcotic, can take between fifteen to forty minutes to take affect and provides long-lasting relief."

"Thank fuck for that," Justin muttered, still a shade paler than normal; and he did look so much happier when they switched back to Edith and her bounty of bland.

"Even better?" Edith said. "The dose can be adjusted according to the fluctuation of your pain levels throughout your labor and very little of the medication reaches your baby, since hardly any of it enters your bloodstream."

"Bonus!" Justin shouted, pumping his fist into the air much to Brian's amusement.

"The main downfalls however are that it can make you lose sensation in your lower body, which means you'll likely be confined to bed." Edith continued; Brian sighed, because that just sounded like so much fun. Justin hated being confined to bed and he could just see his stubborn twat trying to get up despite the warnings and recommendations. "And the pushing stage may take longer due to it. You'll also need an IV, frequent blood pressure monitoring and fetal monitoring. And there is a greater chance of needing assisted delivery with this method."

"See?" Justin huffed, looking disgruntled to have been proven right. "I told you the whole walking thing was a bust. Thankfully the rest of the downfalls are a non-issue since I'll be having a cesarean. That is, if they employ this method."

"All the perks without any of the pitfalls," Brian quipped. "Sign me up."

Medical Pain Relief: Spinal Block

Brian pushed play on the final video and sighed with relief; this couldn't come a moment too soon as he was thoroughly done with Edith's prattling for the evening. Not to mention, Luc was likely going to wake-up at anytime demanding his midnight snack. Resting his head on the top of Justin's, Brian closed his eyes and let the words wash over him as he desperately tried not to fall asleep.

"A final form of medical pain relief is a spinal block," Edith said as Brian tried, and failed, to stop himself from cracking a yawn. "A single injection of narcotics inserted directly into your spinal fluid, which blocks pain in your lower body. What makes it different from an epidural is that it takes effect more quickly, but because it's a single dose opposed to a continuous flow, it lasts only a few hours."

"Hey, no falling asleep on me," Justin huffed, pinching Brian in the side; he flinched and jerked away from his husband's wicked fingers.

"I'm not sleeping," Brian mumbled, but he kept his eyes firmly shut.

"Please, I'm pretty sure I just heard you snore," Justin snorted, jostling Brian's perch on his head as he tipped it and stared at him balefully, poking him continually in the side until he looked down in irritation.

"I do not snore," he huffed, rolling his eyes when Justin snorted again.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Your Surliness," Justin smirked. "I'm certain that I heard your deviated septum rattling away…ow!"

"Serves you right, Brat," Brian smirked as Justin scowled and rubbed his ass, where Brian had firmly pinched it. "That's what you get for being mouthy. Now, please, for the love of God; can we just finish this video before my brain leaks out of my ear?"

Sure," Justin said agreeably; Brian narrowed his eyes and stared at his husband, who smiled sweetly and quipped. "After all, I wasn't the one who insisted on watching it."

Brian huffed and rolled his eyes, but he remained silent as there was no way for him to combat that observation; he had indeed insisted on this in some misguided bid for revenge on his husband. He hadn't really thought that one through.

"It is also the form of medical relief that will likely be recommended if you're having a planned c-section, since the medicine will numb you for more than enough time to perform the surgery." Edith sated; Justin huffed out his annoyance at those words, and Brian didn't blame him. "But like an epidural, you'll need an IV and continuous monitoring throughout and you won't be able to get out of bed."

And then finally the video mercifully went black and they'd ended yet another round of weekly birth class torture. Justin scowled.

"I can't believe that we had to go through all that," he said with exasperation, gesturing to the blank screen with his hand. "To find the two minutes of useful information in the entire series of videos, what the hell?"

"Well, looks like they saved the best for last, Sunshine" Brian huffed, shutting down the laptop and setting it onto the nightstand on Justin's side of the bed. "As always."

"I'm just glad that it was the last one," Justin groaned, stretching as he sat up; he threw his feet over the edge of the bed and slowly stood up. "I don't think I could stomach any more of these videos tonight."

"So does that mean you're giving up on the classes?" Brian asked hopefully; because fuck, he hoped that Justin would call it quits now that he'd been on the receiving end.

"Nope," Justin quipped, a sly smile spreading across his face as he turned to Brian. "The next four weeks are actually much more informative and cover things we haven't discussed. Like next week covers medical procedures during birth, like c-sections. You know; the thing I'm going to have. That's why I was offering to skip this class as it covered a bunch of unnecessary information. But you just had to be stubborn."

"Fuck me," Brian groaned and dropped his arm across his face; it seemed that he'd really shot himself in the foot with this little act of revenge. No wonder the twat hadn't been as vocal in his protests as Brian had been; he should have known that Justin had another card up his sleeve.

"I'd love to, honey," Justin simpered, smiling sweetly. "But Luc will likely be waking up soon and we don't want to be interrupted. It's a shame that we had to waste all that time on the classes. You could've gotten lucky twice tonight."

"I hate you," Brian muttered, burying his face into his pillow and barely quelling the urge to scream and inadvertently waking the baby before it was time.

"Next time, you'll listen to me, won't you?" Justin said just a touch smugly as he waddled towards the bathroom, laughing as Brian growled into his pillow.