CHAPTER 45 - OPEN HOUSE, OPEN MOUTH...YEAH SO OPEN SEASON

MICHAEL’S HOUSE - HALF AN HOUR LATER

LOUNGE

MICHAEL

Apoplectic! That’s what I am right now! I was fucking pissed the way that Carl talked to me, but this has tipped me over the edge! I had forgotten to take my name off of the Greenfield Boulevard Residents mailing list, and have found out that there is going to be an open house sale. This would be fine if it wasn’t the furniture that I picked out for my house! And the amounts he is charging, are so fucking insulting considering the calibre of some of the pieces. Well, although I lost them, it is not me making a loss on them! But then I start to calm down and think like an avenging villain. Yes, I will help him with that loss. It will be a small victory, but at least I will get my stuff back. I start to put reserves on them, and then book a storage facility to put them in, ready to start my new life, but not before I destroy theirs...all of theirs!

It’s a pity it has come to this, but after all I have done for him and the things I bought for him - for us - to start our new life together, well, my love for him has turned to hate! I vow to make him as miserable as he has made me!

LINDSAY’S COTTAGE - TWENTY MINUTES LATER

2ND BEDROOM

LINDSAY

“You can come up, she’s gone!” I call down.

“Did she take the check with her?” Lynnette asks as she enters.

“Looks like it.” I sit on the bed and we smile at each other.

“So, what made you suddenly decide to be Daddy’s Little Helper?” She asks, sitting down. “I know you, you haven’t done this for altruistic reasons? May I hazard a guess?”

“You may.”

“You get a clear shot at his wallet?” Her lips purse in disdain and I shrug, but then get a bit uncomfortable.

“Don’t look at me like that, Lynette, you are already set for life! I want to be back in Shadyside, and there can't be two Queens in the…”

“Hive?” Her cold stare reminds me of Mother. “Well, thanks for doing a good thing for selfish reasons. Do you really think she will cash it?”

“Oh yes, then come after Daddy for more.” I titter a little. “It’s what I would do, but not against Mel. And that was another reason.”

“What was?”

“Her delight in my failed relationships. And she wanted me to go for Gustav…”

“Fieldmore?!” She quails.

“The very same!” I blench. “And she really did say that, about leaving Daddy I mean, for years apparently.”

“Jesus. But naturally with Mother’s connections, you won’t be willing to say that in court.” I flinch under her cold glare. “Thought not. Well, thank you for coming to me with the affair. I am glad that our plan worked out. Hopefully, when you are the Queen of the Hive, you will remember how she treated you and adjust your behaviour.” Again, she heads to the door. “But I doubt it.” Then once more she pauses. “So, with Sidney, what did your attorney say?”

I look at her in dismay. “Why do you think I am helping you rid Daddy of Mother? I have no case for unfair dismissal, but I am going to take the bullying angle and claim emotional distress. I gave years to that place, and there is no way he is bulldozing me out of its history without more than a mere month’s salary, and no references apart from the standard one! Who the hell does he think he is?!”

“Lindsay, take this under advisement, don’t go up against someone you don’t know everything about. You didn’t know he was a member of the club for a start, so you don’t know his connections.”

“Connections? Sidney?” I check my reflection in the mirror. “Sidney has about as many connections as Mel does at the country club!” I snipe. “How many times has she been since she became a member?”

“A few times. And she and Diana are going to the summer solstice picnic with Diana’s son. Seems that Harry has taken quite a shine to Mel.”

“She’s met her son already?” I gasp in surprise and annoyance. “That’s a little quick isn’t it?”

“Why waste time when it feels right.”  She replies, and looks at her watch. “Well, I have to be going, I have dinner plans.”

“Oh yes, which husband is this with? You’re on number what now? I can never keep up. Or have you taken after Mother and are dining with someone else’s?” I can’t resist the digs after her Mel comment.

“Goodnight, Lindsay.” Is her only response.

INSIDE LYNNETTE’S CAR - 5 MINUTES LATER

RONALD

“Did you record it?” I ask as she gets in and her smile tells me everything.

“Yes, Daddy. So now what happens?”

“Get that to Mel and we wait for the downfall of the Witches Obsession and Sorcery.” I chuckle.

“Okay, why those names?” She smiles.

“Lindsay is obsessed with status, so that’s her, and your Mother, well she’s always hatching and scheming. So let’s hear it before you send it.” After we finished listening, we look at each other a little sadly. “It has to end with your Mother, I mean, she is virtually frozen out anyway, but it has to be a fait accompli. The reign has to end with her. Sidney needs to have that as well.”

She nods and squeezes my hand. “See that light? That’s the end of the tunnel. Head towards it!”  I start the car and smile as I drive to my new life.

TREY AND DEL’S HOUSE - SAME TIME

We look out the hallway window when we hear beeping, and a large truck is reversing down the drive.

“All ready?” I grin at her and she nods. This place has been cleaned from top to bottom, Lorraine came in to help as well, and she worked lightening quick. Seems she has a treat in store later on this evening!  

“Let me get those butt-ugly plates!” Del calls out and trots to the kitchen and I head outside.

“Hey-hey!” I smile at the familiar trill of Ems as he gets out of his car. “So, these almost empty ones are to take out, and the one in a few hours has your new things in it. Now...what the hell are they?!” He points at the plates.

“Don’t worry, we are throwing them away.” I pat his arms reassuringly and he relaxes.

“No, give them to me. There is a shooting weekend at Benson’s folks’ estate, these will be perfect!” His smile is vicious. “But first, your beds are going to be taken up so you can rest well. So can I say it now?!” He beams at us both.

“Oh yeah.” We say in unison.

“Welcome to The Boulevard!”

BLUE MOON HOUSE - EARLY MORNING

BALCONY OVERLOOKING BACK GARDEN

BRIAN

I love this house, but it’s the garden that sold me on it. It’s perfectly styled, not overlooked, and last night we christened it!

I hear the faint rustle of sheets that says he’s awake. This is confirmed by his padding to the bathroom. Five minutes later, I am smiling at his sigh of relief after he sniffs the air, which means he is on coffee autopilot. “Mind the step!” I warn, as he has tripped over it before when he was fully awake.

“Morning.” He mumbles, and I wait for him to take at least half a cup down so that he can open his eyes. I thought Ted was bad for no-talk-before-coffee, but Justin takes it to another level.

“Why don’t you want to sit down?” I ask cheekily.

“Rattan chairs need cushions.” He mutters before heading back inside and coming out with a pillow, my pillow, then sitting down and finishing his coffee in silence before waving the cup at me.

“Yes, Sir.”

He gives a half glare then heads back into the bedroom rubbing his cheek, his very plump naked cheek, and I start to count.

“Ome...Brian!”

“A bite for a bite!” I call back, and he huffs in indignation. “Middle of the inner thigh...you nibbled!”

“The word there is nibbled...not lovebite on ass!”

“Methinks the owner of bubble butt doth protest too much, considering you were chanting more-more-more at the time…”

“That was during rimming…” He pauses to giggle. “...why is my bush green?”

“Grinding.”

“Grinding?”

“During the rimming. You were grinding and humping.” I head back into the room to see him staring at his bush and picking out the odd blade or two. “Want me to help you get clean?”

He looks at the clock and reluctantly shakes his head. “I promised Ems I would help with the open house.”

“And that is because you are a kind hearted person and not because of the immense pleasure it will give you to watch them be sold?”

“No, of course not.” He demurs. “A WASP of my lineage would not be seen doing such a thing.”

“But a very possessive Dom?”

“Oh fuck yeah!” He laughs, and runs to the shower. I swiftly follow.

TREY AND DEL’S HOUSE - MID-MORNING

DEL

It’s as if we have lived together for ages. We’re both morning people, so there’s none of this creeping about quietly bullshit. He has been making breakfast for us, and I have been doing the cupcakes, I am very pleased with them.

“Why the animals though? Handbags and heels I get, but animals?” He asks, cutting up my pancakes so that he can feed me as I work.

“At least four of the guys and gals here have kiddies.” I explain, and he raises his finger to say gotcha. I sigh, contentedly, as his perfectly cooked pancake lingers on my tongue. “So the stuff from here is going to be on the green at the bottom of the street. Apparently, there has been some keen interest…”

“Yes, I saw that. Virtually everything was bid on…”

“Mmmhmmm.” I open my mouth and he pops in another piece of pancake.

“Should be fun to say the least.” He looks at his watch. “Okay, you go down and I’ll load the dishwasher!”

“Done! See you in 20!” I call over my shoulder as I carefully lift up the first box. “Oh, before I go, are you sure about these ones?” I look down at my feet.

“Did you like Mel’s shoes?” He huffs.

“Love them!”

“Then I’m sure!” He bows down to take the plaudits.

“Okay, see you in 18 then!” I stride out with the cupcake trays and had barely got three steps down the street when I hear the familiar only-you snickering of Ems.

“Trey’s in then?!” He calls out as he pulls up alongside me. “Are you going to be okay walking in them?”

I look down at my feet and up at the sky. “Honey, the only thing that is getting these off my feet is the heat!”

“Okay, so you will be on the matting up to the stage, but then you are going to be conducting the auc...ah, that’s what the stool is for!”

“‘Ah-ding! Now, where are my helpers for all things cupcake?” He looks up the road where someone is calling his name, and a blonde, an auburnite, a beefcake, and a dark delight come jogging towards us. “Tell me that this is them?”

“Ah-ding!” He smiles, quick introductions are made and warnings given about Justin and his penchant for nibbling!

“Don’t worry, Duchess.” Benson assures me. Duchess? I like that, I like that a lot! “Any nibbling will be reported and an exacting punishment will be dispensed...later, right Guvnor?!” He looks at Brian who grins.

“Go, you rapscallions, while I see that everything is where it should be and not where Trey thinks it will do!” Ems starts to wave us off. “Love the boy to hellandback, but while he knows all things sartorial, he has no idea about how to place furniture!”

OPEN HOUSE AUCTION - AN HOUR LATER

LORRAINE

Oh, this is going to be so good! That dresser is going to be mine! When I first went in, I asked him where he got it from and his sniffy there is no point telling you as you can’t afford it reply really pissed me off! It wasn’t as if he was using it for its actual purpose, oh no, it housed his very low brow reading material. I am not talking about his porn, because it was surprisingly squirmingly good. No, he stuffed it with comics...which I heard Emmett took along with the plates. Apparently, he’s going to a bonfire and BBQ next weekend! I run my fingers over the dresser and sigh.

“You like this piece?” I freeze at the voice and slowly turn around. “Good afternoon, Lorraine.”

I swallow hard. “Master Todd.” I whisper, I’ve obviously seen him around, but he’s never spoken directly to me.

“Just Todd, please. So, do you like this piece?”

“Yes. Yes I do, and the…”

“Ah yes, the steamer trunk, now that is very nice. The perfect place to store your things.” He smiles. “They are yours, as a personal thank you for what you did.”

“Mas…” I stammer but he shakes his head.

“Yours. I insist.” He states firmly. “In fact, Leroi, can you come here a minute?” I can’t believe I am in the company of these two! “Give him your purse, please.  Make sure she doesn’t spend any money today.” He bows his head and I hand it to him, then he leans across and whispers something in Todd’s ear. “Alright, let me see it. Will we see you at the block party, Lorraine?”

“Yes you will, Todd.” Peterkin comes up behind me and squeezes my shoulder. “Our heroine of the hour is the guest of honour!” When it is only the two of us I am still just staring at the dresser and trunk that he is getting for me. “You were so good last night. Domme J was most pleased. Lorraine. Lorraine?” I shake my head and turn to face him. “They are the power couple, aren’t they?” I nod still in awe at what just happened. “I knew it, I knew the moment he saw it he would want it.”

“What?” I ask finally coming down from that high.

“Balloon chair. Come on, let me show you. I really hope there is another one, because I want one! Perfect for making you read and sit up straight.” I chuckle at his innuendo as then sigh as I see it.

“It is exquisite, I must admit to being surprised that a man of his repute and dubious cleanliness has such good taste.”

“Absolutely not! I saw it first!” Is hissed to our left and we turn to see the new wolves of the pack squabbling over a leather box.

“Gentlemen! This inglorious display will not do!” Emmett interrupts, and takes whatever they are fighting over off of the blonde. “Now you go that way and you go that way. Cool down and then heat up in another way, understand?” They both nod and go in opposite directions, and although he has told them off, he looks fondly in both their directions before rummaging in the drawer they were fixated on. “Aha! Of course he would!” He grins and then marches off with his booty in his hand.

“Clue?”

“None at all!” Peterkin laughs. “Let’s go and see what else is here!”

EMMETT

I saunter over to Brandon, who has been trying to resist the cupcakes. I don’t know why he has bothered, he’s got nary an ounce on him. “I think the pig cupcake would be perfect, since that’s how you were oh-so-sexily squealing last night.” I whisper. He closes his eyes and inhales sharply. “How are you holding up?”

“O-okay so far, but not sure I can do all day.” He leans back against me and his lids flutter. I am so proud of my little sprite, we had a session last night and now he is bound in public for the first time. He presses his lips together, and I know he has had enough. I look around for a place of privacy, and see Del waving at me. I head over.

“I took the liberty of organising some portaloos, with the kiddies and everything else. The ones on the left are for adults...last one is big enough for the two of you.”

“Thanks for that, I was just so keen to get this lot sold that I didn’t think ahead. Can you hold these for me until I give you the signal?” She nods and I rush over to Little Sprite and then lead him to his place of relief. Ten minutes later, he’s eating the pig cupcake with a smile on his face and sparkling eyes.

MICHAEL

Boy, are they going to be surprised when they see me, I gloat to myself as I pull up. I have hired a haulage van to take the bits of my furniture I want to take today, and will come back for the rest! I haven’t worked out how to ruin Ma’s wedding at Britin, but have decided to report Woody’s for under aged drinking. That should get it closed down for a while!

I pause when I get to the green and stare at how they have laid everything out, then frown at my ex-neighbours milling about with booze and cupcakes, running their sticky fingers over my stuff!

“Oh, you’re here, we were wondering when you would arrive.” I look up at Eli and say nothing. “You know, that’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“I never said anything!” I smirk.

“I know, and what bliss it was. Such a shame you are too stupid to have left it that way!” He laughs as he walks off.

I decide to check my stuff for damage, because I will be making sure that any damage is repaired at their cost! As I look around, I see my former friends, if they were ever that, talking together. I want to hear what they are talking about, so instead of sneaking to eavesdrop, I walk right up to them.

“So, this is what it has come to, has it?!” I snap at Brian who is blonde boy free for a change!

“Yes.” He replies and takes a beer off a passing waiter. “Oh, by the way, you have to thank my renowned powers of persuasion because Justin has dropped the charges against you.”

“Much like he’s dropped you by the looks of it!” I take pleasure in mocking their partnership.

“Keep spitting bile and I will reinstate them.” Justin’s voice startles me, and I long to wipe the smirk off of Brian’s face, even more so when Justin walks up to him, takes his beer, and drains it, then he walks off with a wobble of that enormous ass of his.

“Debs said you’re coming, will you just stay for that?” Emmett asks me and I frown. “The wedding, I need to put numbers down for the catering company and…”

“I thought Woody’s was cooking up this meal…” I trail off as yet again I have almost given away something.

“Just the cake. It’s all around Liberty Avenue, and so many people want to help.” Ted’s streak of piss simpers. “But I want to do it myself, such an honour.”

“Yes. I will be staying all the time.” I respond to Emmett.

“Okay, so that’s table for one, in the corner under the damp patch in the dining room...confirmed.” Emmett sneers and I glare at him. “I can glare better with my eyes closed.”

“As usual, you are babbling. What you said didn’t even make any sense!”

“Much like Brian and your friendship, but that, like this conversation, is at an end. Now come on people, the bidding is about to start!” He shepherds them away from me, and I stare daggers at their retreating backs.

I begin to follow them but then spot the chest of drawers that was in the hallway and remember something. I stroke it reminiscing about how pleased I was when he saw it, and, much to his surprise, I paid for it! What I am looking for is not in there and that gives me pause, then I realise they must be in one of the boxes I have yet to unpack.

There is a tapping on the mic and people go quiet. “Good afternoon, everyone, welcome...mostly...to the Greenfield Boulevard Open House Fayre! My name is Del, and I will be your MC for the day. Now, let’s get this started. Our first piece is the bed frame, obviously without the mattress…” This raises laughter. Why? “...who will start me off at $200?!” My bid is $300, so that’s a steal. I put my hand up. “Sold!” She declares, and I look across at Brian and shrug but he just shakes his head.

“The next lot is the bed in the second bedroom. Who will start me off at $150?”

Again my hand goes up, and again the bid is accepted, and this is how it goes, I am starting to claim things back. I have the beds, the wardrobes, the study desk, the sofas, the armchairs. I am keeping a tally of what I have spent, and it is barely half the cost of the car he got me. I look around but can’t see it, I check the list and it’s definitely on there so where is it?!

JUSTIN

I look across at his frantic waving and wonder if instead of being dropped on his head as a kid, he was given one too many swirlies and he has some residual water on the brain! How can he not see that nobody wants them? We want him to want them...and he does! He seems to think that showing Brian he can spend his own money means something. Brian has long known about his savings, but has never said anything to Debs about it, citing the NOHIP reasoning...it took a wee while for me to work out he meant not his place! Most of the big stuff is now his, now it’s the personal stuff coming up.

“Right. Now we’re going to take a break before we come to the smaller items of furniture and other knickknacks!” Del announces, and I smile across at Ems, as this is where the coup de grace from the cunning mind of this Alpha will be dealt.

“You alright?” Ben asks as he hands me a beer.

“Fine, just fine.” I smile up at my friend and he looks so content. “So this thing at Benson’s, what exactly is it?”

“Shooting dishes in a barrel, bonfire of the magazines, and then the BBQ. And before you even think to ask, we’re in the cabin!” He laughs at my disappointment. “Don’t worry, he’s got something special lined up for everyone in the main house...with enough rooms between so that hearing each other scream is not going to be a problem!”

“Do you think he will move in?” I have been wanting to ask him for weeks now.

“Now that the Turgid Turd has moved near him, I think he might be finding GB a much more relaxing place.”

“Good, I’m glad, but nobody uses the attic.”

“No, definitely not, especially since the pecan cookies are running out again!” My look is suitably baleful. “We didn’t touch the ice cream if that helps.”

“It doesn’t. I am going to have to cave and get the recipe aren’t I?” I sigh and harrumph at his laughing nod as I send Mom a text. When she replies I burst out laughing, and show him what she said. “I had wondered why he wasn’t complaining that he didn’t have any! Ooh, wait till I get hold of him!”

“He’s over there.” He points to Brian, resting against a chest of drawers, which I have to grudgingly admit, I really like. “Go get him.”

I feel a set of you-know-whose eyes boring into my back as I head over to Brian, and as I get close enough, I reach for his beer. “Leave me some this time.” He chides me, and I nod then tilt the bottle to see how much is left. I take a couple of swallows then hand it back. “You’ve got the gotcha look on your face.”

“Two words: Pecan cookies.” He doesn’t even try not to look guilty. “So where are they, and where do you cook them? I would recognise that smell a mile away.” I sit down on the chest and swing my feet, bumping them against the drawers.

“Don’t bump. I like this chest. I am seriously considering going for it.”

“Oh, you too?” I grin. “Where would you put it? I think it would look great in the kitchen. Now, back to the pecan in hand, where do you cook them?”

“She lives 5 miles away, this is why you never smelt them.” He looks very pleased with himself.

“Debs?” He nods, and again I pull out my phone, which has him looking puzzled. “Going to ask her to bring some dough around when she drops off Little Grub.” He gives me a dazzling smile. “Oh, and next week we have another camping trip, this time in the Alleghany Mountains.” I hold up my hand as I know what is coming. “It’s on Thursday night, not Friday.”

“Good…”

“Oh, that’s cool!” I point to a trunk.

“No.” His tone is so firm and final that I am taken aback.

“Why not?”

“That’s the trunk for his actual junk.” He shudders, and my interest evaporates!

“Right, ladies and gentlemen!” Del calls out. “The next piece to come up is the chest of drawers currently being used as a sofa by our benevolent landlord and his partner! If they could remove their luscious butts so that people can see it, the drawers I mean, then we can start the bidding!” I watch his hand quiver in readiness, and nod at Ems, who in turn nods at Del. “I will start this off at two fifty! Who will give me two fifty?!” Predictably, his hand shoots up. “Can anyone give me three?” He looks around and I put mine up, he glares at me. “Will take three fifty, sir?” She points at him and he nods. “Take four?!” She calls out and soon it is a bidding war until we get to six, and with a look of resignation he shakes his head. “Sold to the blonde! Right, next item…”

Her words fade to blackness as Brian has swooped me into a kiss that has some people whistling. “What was that for?” I gasp.

“I would’ve paid a thousand to get it.” He admits sheepishly.

“I would not have let you do that. Now it’s yours. Let’s watch the show from right…” I tap the top of the drawers. “...here.” I catch the baleful look before he stalks off to another part of the field.

For the next couple of hours he bids on piece after piece. He loses out on more than he wins, thanks to some nodding from Ems and me. Finally, we are down to the last few pieces, but he is frowning and checking the papers he has in his hands.

“Now these are two specialist items. Bought in London, they are antique telescopes. Who will start the bidding at two for the pair?” He is frantically looking through the papers with his frown getting deeper and deeper. “One fifty do I hear one fifty?” A hand goes up. “Back up to two then. Do I hear two for these fine antique telescopes from London?!” She almost bellows and finally his head and hand shoot up. “Two fifty anybody? Can I have two fifty?”

“Me.” Brian declares and he glares at him.

“Three.”

“Four.” Brian retorts.

“Five!” He snaps.

“Go to seven.” I murmur to him, and he frowns. “Go to seven.”

“Seven.”

All eyes turn to him and he fights with his crapricious nature before admitting defeat.

“Sold to our benevolent landlord!” Del declares, and then clears her throat. “And that concludes the Greenfield Boulevard Open House Fayre! Now those with items to collect, please go to the marquee and present your dockets and paddles!”

He almost breaks into a run to get there. “Come on, you have got to see this!” I tug on his hand; he just shakes his head and follows, only letting go to snag a beer. When we get there, there is a steaming mad Double T raging at Ems, and waving the papers about.

“As I and the website have said, the items that were listed did not represent the totality of the items owned and up for auction by Brian Kinney, and it is his choice as to whether they were put up for the fayre. Now, the blue dresser, the balloon chair, the steamer trunk and the car were removed at the last minute, as is his right. Please go and collect your other items.”

He turns to go to the collection point, but sees us and stalks over. “Where are they?”

“What?”  Brian drawls.

“The balloon chair, the blue steamer trunk and dresser, the car, along with the kitchenware, where are they?!”

“As Ems said, I withdrew them at the request of other interested parties…”

“Oh, don’t tell me, you bought them for him because they match his eyes!”

“No, I got them, and for free.” He tenses up and turns around. “I see your manners have not improved in my absence.”

“Lorraine, I wouldn't have thought they were your kind of people. Seeing as you are of such a religious bent, if you pardon the pun!”

“Oh, these kind of people are my kind of people, but opprobrious whoop-ding-wackadoodles like you aren’t! Now, excuse me, I have to be lauded for my efforts and success in getting you and that anathema by default off The Boulevard!” She walks away giggling.

He turns back to us. “I thought you said you had nothing to do with her being in my house?”

“She was not our idea, and it is no longer your house. Now, collect what you bought and fuck off!” Brian tone reminds me of that night...I am so glad it is not me he is talking to.

“Hang on, the telescopes and the chest of drawers, I paid for them…” He looks like he’s going cream his pants, such as his delight. “...or do you dispute that?”

“Chest of drawers, no. And I had wondered where the scopes came from. They are a surprisingly tasteful choice, considering you have no interest in that.”

“I bought them for us when I thought we might have a chance, same for the kitchenware, but you have chosen to go down the Titanic way. More fool you. However, I am due the money for them, so pay up.”

Brian frowns as he didn’t know the ins and outs of this auction. For the final time today, at least where this oddjob is concerned, I nod at Ems and he comes across with them and waits for Brian and him to look at him. “That will be $7 please, Big Bad, and $6 from JB for the chest of drawers.

“What?!” They say at the same time.

“Here’s our money, Ems. I’ll take the scopes, can you arrange for delivery of the drawers to Blue Moon?”

‘Absolutely. Now here you are…” He hands the money to a dumbstruck Double T. “...we have forgone the need for commission for such a paltry amount. Who’d have thought that 13 would be lucky for you? We will see you guys at the block party later, right Big Bad? As I suspect you require an explanation, and then will be rewarding JB for his masterful handling of the...now what did Lorraine call him again?”

“Whoop-ding-wackadoodle!” Ted calls out.

“Yes, that, must remember that! So, Big Bad, go let JB explain and we will see you later.”

“What? Uh yeah. Um, JB?” Brian looks utterly flummoxed.

“JiggleButt.” Ems cackles, and we leave a stock still Double T to his own devices!

MICHAEL

I don't know how long I was standing there for, but I gather my wits when there is someone calling my name. “That's me!” I call out, and seeing a cop approaching me, I swallow hard. “Is there a problem, officer?” My mind flashes back to the earlier conversation with blondie, and I begin to wonder if this was a ruse.

“Yeah. Your truck is blocking the boulevard, you need to move it or…”

“I can’t, it has broken down.” I explain, having remembered the last block party and that the green end is the only way up to the houses.

“We thought it had. I have taken the liberty of calling a tow truck as we have other vehicles to get in. Should be here in five minutes.”

“But...but I have some stuff to load into it.” I protest.

“From the fayre?” He frowns.

“Yes. I have the proof of purchases here.” I bridle.

“No, it’s not that. It’s just that it said on the website that they would arrange for delivery, there was no need to hire a truck. So which garage should I get this towed to?”

“Arrange delivery?” I repeat and could swear I hear the sickening snickering of a few people.

“Yeah. So the garage?”

“Never mind, I can get it there myself!” I bite out.

“How? Are you a distant relative to Samson or Hercules?” I set my lips in a thin line and wait for him to finish. “By which I mean, are you going to push it there yourself?” He demands. “Or is it that there is nothing wrong with the truck and you are just being obstructionist?”

“No.” I grind out. “I meant that I can arrange a tow truck myself.” I paste a smile on my face.

“Well there’s no need like I said, and I can see the tow truck now. I will come with you so that you can give them the name of the garage. This way, sir.”

I have no other choice but to follow him.

BEN AND JUSTIN’S HOUSE - 10 MINUTES LATER

ATTIC

BRIAN

I settle on the sofa and look at my Erinyes, my partner and my Alpha. “So, may I take a very proud and educated guess?” He wiggles his toes in my lap and nods. “I think that you and Ems, with the help of the delectable auctioneer, changed the meaning of the amounts on certain pieces. So what he thought were hundreds of dollars were in the singles.”

“Yep.”

“And that’s why you wouldn’t let me go further than ten?”

“Uh huh.” He smiles as I adjust my position so that I am lying on top of him. “Even though he bought them they are beautiful.”

“The scopes?” He questions, and my silence gives him his answer, he scrunches up his nose then fluffs my quiff with a soft smile. “But we own them now. And all we have to do is work out who gets which one.” I nod. “Which do you like?”

“Ah-ah-ah. Last to cum gets first pick, assume the 69!” I declare.

Happily we got the ones we wanted and made it to the block party!