CHAPTER 46 - LOTS OF FUN FOR SOME AFTER THE FAYRE

OUTSIDE MICHAEL’S OLD HOUSE - LATE EVENING

MICHAEL

So far nobody has seen me, and judging by what I have just seen inside, he’s forgotten all about it! Seeing that the party is still in full fucking swing, I take a chance and head to the house. Those trusting fools! As I thought, the door is unlocked, so while their rat tenants are away this lion is going to play! I snicker like the Joker as I flick the light on and go to the kitchen...and come to a stop! What the fuck have they done?! It looks, it looks…I turn around at the tap on my shoulder and then everything goes dark.

I can feel someone slapping my face and slapping my face hard! “Stop it!” I mumble but it is hard to talk as my jaw is hurting. Slowly I open my eyes and am looking up at someone who I don’t know and a very unamused looking Carl!

“Good evening, sir.” He drips sarcasm. “Can you sit up?”

“Unh.” I reply as it hurts to move my head.

“I am going to take that as a yes.” He turns to my assailant as I slowly sit up and rub my sore jaw. “Was anything taken?”

“No. I just heard a noise from upstairs and…” He starts to laugh.

“What’s funny?”

“He was narrating his entrance!” He starts to laugh harder. “He was like: little do they know that I am Ninja-like in my stealth. I shall steal in and take what is rightfully mine! Well, I don’t know about you, Detective Horvath, but there aren’t many Ninjas I know, either real or imaginary, who need to turn the light on to be stealthy!”

“He assaulted me.” I protest.

“He defended his property, as is his right.” Carl retorts.

“Shouldn’t he have given me a warning or something?”

“I tapped you.”

“You punched me!” I wince as my chin throbs.

“I tapped you. She punched you.” He points to a woman standing by the sink with her hand in the crystal ice bucket I spent two hours finding!

“Do you want to press charges?” Carl asks, and they both shake their heads. He turns back to me. “Did you drive?”

“Yes.” I am too beyond mortified that I got knocked out by a girl to think straight!

“I will get you home.” He sighs. “I won’t have you bitching to Debs about anything more than you need to. Not that this will stop you.” I get up and feel a bit wobbly, but he does nothing to help me. “Do you need medical attention?”

“Yeah, I feel woozy.” I mutter.

“Of course you do.” He looks skywards before turning to my attackers. “See you on Wednesday.” He tells the guy who nods. “And, as for you…” He smiles at the cow that hit me. “...get that looked at if it swells up.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’ll be fine, his jaw was unsurprisingly soft.” She laughs, they all do, while I fume.

“Too easy.” He chuckles and waves me ahead of him. We walk in silence to the car, and, once inside, he sighs and waits until I look at him. “Seatbelt.” He orders, and when I put it on, he starts the car. As we drive, a plan begins to formulate and I close my eyes to think it through further. When I open them, we are at the hospital. I frown at him.

“You said you needed medical attention, this is the place to get it.” He steps out and strides through the doors. Within minutes a gurney is being rushed out and my car door is opened, before I am urged to get out and get on. “I shall leave you to it.”

“You’re not staying?”

“Nope. I don’t think there is anything wrong with you, so will wait in the comfort of our home to be proved right or wrong. I am many things to you, Michael, none of them good I suspect, but I am neither a fool nor a wet nurse. Drop by the house when you get discharged, as, despite your many failings, she will want to see that you are alright.”

All I think as I am wheeled in and he drives away is curses!

BLOCK PARTY - ABOUT 1145

DAPH

It is no use! I have tried every wile I have to get them, but Justin is not budging. I try for the ick factor to sway him.

“You do realise that the top one is a woman?”

“They are definitely two guys!” He hiccups, clutching the bag to his chest. “I should know, I was in that position a few hours ago!” His mouth hangs open before he looks around and waves at Brian who ambles over. “I di...said... something personable.”

“Wassat?” Brian grins slightly.

“It’s about these…” He opens the bag and I know that I have lost. “...Daph wants them, but so do I, and I said I was like that earlier, so I know they are men!”

He pulls one out of the bag. “Definitely men! And definitely not. He found them, he keeps them, and I know exactly where they are going!”

“Where what are going?” Ems saunters over.

“These.” He puts one on the bar.

“Where’d you find them, Jiggle?” Brian asks, and he points to a large silver box he found earlier that didn’t make it into the fayre.

“I...why…” Justin sways slightly before Ben steadies him.

“Okay, coffee for you.” Ben orders, and Benson goes to get some. “Now sit down. What have you been up to? You don’t normally get ripped so fast?”

“That.” Brian points to the doorknob laughing. “I came last.”

“You came...oh!” Ben snickers, and I just shake my head, smiling.

“It’s funny how orgasms can sometimes be delightfully and deliciously detrimental to your alcohol tolerance!” Benson guffaws as he comes up with the coffee. He looks at Justin and takes a swig himself. “He’s barely awake, just get him home.”

“Yes indeed, Guvnor.” Brian mimics, and then jostles Justin from his resting position with his head on his chest. “Justin, come on. Let’s go home.”

“No knob taking! Knobs mine!” He burbles before dropping sound asleep.

“Out of the mouths of drunken lambs!” Ems laughs, and picks up the box. “You lead, I will follow.”

“Where was that?” Brian indicates the box.

“Don’t know. Justin said he found it in the garage and...” I reply and we all stop.

“Garage?” Ben asks slowly.

“Do you think…” I begin, and take off running with Ben and Benson in my wake. I hear Ems screaming that they will be right there!

BEN AND JUSTIN’S HOUSE - 5 MINUTES LATER

JUSTIN’S ROOM

BRIAN

I tuck him up and he doesn’t notice. Sighing, I turn to Ems, who holds up his hand. “I know and I’m sorry. I let my personal feelings get in the way.”

“What are you talking about, Honeycutt?”

“Don’t call...you mean you’re not mad at me because of the…” He gestures to the box.

“No. To be honest, I had forgotten about the garage too. Let’s go and see what else Squirrel Nutjob had in there.”

MICHAEL’S OLD GARAGE - 10 MINUTES LATER

When we get there Benson is standing outside the doors like a bouncer, and I can hear excited voices. “What’s going on?” I ask as he steps aside and pushes the door open with a flourish.

“Well, he certainly was going with a theme.” Emmett drawls as he looks around.

“Can you believe this guy hid that amount of taste under all of that twatty tawdriness?!” Daph exclaims. “I suppose the chances of me having this chaise longue without telling Justin are next to zero?”

“Less than zero.” I reply, and her face falls. “But, I think he will be okay with it. He’s not into white, especially with Little Grub, so if you put that in your room then it should all work out just fine.” She grins and plants a smacker on my cheek.

“What about the rest of the stuff?” Ems asks taking pictures. “Another fayre?”

“No, I have a much better idea!” I laugh, and as usual Ems gets it straight away.

“It is going to take a big ass fucking bow but yeah, I’ll get this all wrapped up!”

“Great. You get back to the party, and I am going to go join my man in bed!”

“You say it like it’s a bad thing!” Ems titters.

“It’s not, it’s just when he’s drunk he snores! The only thing that seems to stop him is a blowjob...it’s such a tough life being with him!”

“Your martyrdom is duly noted, Big Bad.” Ems smirks.

BEN AND JUSTIN’S HOUSE - EARLY MORNING

JUSTIN’S BEDROOM

JUSTIN

I smell coffee and hear whistling. I lift the cover off my head and look around the room before slowly sitting up.

“Mr Chatterbox lives.” Brian says dryly, and I cringe. “Bathroom, then back in bed to take these, then drink that.” I look to the side and there is a glass of ice cold fizzy water, pills, a huge covered mug of coffee...and three pecan cookies! I nod and head to the bathroom, and ten minutes later I am nestled between his thighs, waiting for the pills and water to do their thing. “I take it a very quiet day at home is needed?” I rub my face and nod. “Want me to tell you then?”

“Yeah. What did I say and do?”

“You were arguing the finer points of doorknobs with Daph…”

“Doorknobs?” I look up at him and the memory slowly starts to come back. “Did I win the war to keep them?”

“You did. And the box they came in, which we will, investigate later. But the highlight for me was you declaring rather loudly that the knobs are yours before dropping sound asleep and dribbling on my shirt.”

I chuckle and reach for my coffee. “How’d I get here?”

“I carried you. But what I want to know is why you were in the garage?”

“Oh yes! I went to our garage to get something. I was surprised to find stuff in there still. Why was it in there?”

“We had completely forgotten about it.” He smirks. “He had some nice…”

“The chaise lounge!” I exclaim.

“Yeah, Daph has…”

“Which one? There were two; the white one and the suede one.”

“There was?” I nod as he reaches for his phone and dials a number “What about the suede one?”

“Thought it would be nice on the balcony at Blue Moon.”

I would need to…Ems, morning, sounds like you stayed to the early hours, ah only just going to bed.” He laughs and shakes his head. “I won’t keep you, but can you send the pictures from the garage, specifically the...yeah the suede chaise longue.” He smiles again and gives me the thumbs up. “Okay, will check it out. Bye.”

“What did he say?” I ask, reaching for the plate.

“Pills kicked in then?” He snags a cookie and then blows crumbs off my shoulder before flicking through his phone. “Is it this one?”

He shows me the picture and I nod. “Ems thought the same, and is going to have it delivered along with the drawers. Did you get what you went to your garage for? And, how did you get in his garage?”

“Oh, let me up please. It wasn’t locked.”

“It wasn’t? Hang on.” He reaches for his phone as it rings. “Hey, Debs, how is your…?” I heave the box onto the bed. “Great. So what time…” He looks stupefied and then scrubs his nose while listening. “Well, okay then, it certainly answers that question. Yeah, sure, no problem, see you later.” He sighs and flops his hand down on the bed.

“Brian?”

“Michael went to the garage last night, which is why it was unlocked. Then, he went into Red Brick, but was caught by Trey and Del. She knocked him out with one punch.” I try really hard not to smile. “Carl took him to the hospital...as he was out for a while, and, after a rip-snorting speech, left him there.” I press my lips together really hard. “Unfortunately for him, Trey found the garage keys in the kitchen and locked it back up. Debs is going to have them put a keypad lock on it. Actually, I think we will do them all, as that way he can’t bitch that he is being unfair…”

“...ly treated.” I finish off for him, but he looks puzzled. “You alright?”

“Yeah, it’s most probably…” He runs his thumbnail up and down the tip of his nose.

“Omega, what is it?”

He gives a beaming smile before it falters slightly. “He mentioned Woody’s doing the food for the wedding, and Blake said that it has been all over The Avenue. Which is true, but he hasn’t. Nobody has seen him for a while…”

“So how did he know about the food?”

“I don’t know, but I am sure it will come out. So what did you get?”

“It will, he’s arrogant enough to boast. Can we be done with discussions of him now?”

“Yes sir.”

BRIAN

Omega, he said Omega, without prompting!

I shift down the bed to help him take the lid off the box, and, when I do, I am astonished at what is inside. “Ems said it felt like you had rocks in here! May I...uh?” I pause, unsure where we are.

“Justin or Jiggle.” He leans over and the kiss is a combo of him, pecan cookies and coffee...so succulent!

“Ah, you remember that?” He bobs his head and mock pouts. “Would you prefer me just to call you Butt?”

“Do you want to get in it again?”

“Justin or Jiggle it is then! So these beautiful things are from where?” I pick up a rock and marvel at the coldness of it contrasting with the beauty of the colours.

“When I could see again, I started to collect moonstones and crystals but then the guilt kicked in and I put them away. No longer hiding them now.”

“They are gorgeous. Are there stands for them? Where are you going to put them?”

He starts to go pink. “Well, I wanted to give you and Little Grub the green and the orange ones. And keep the icy blue one for me.” He lays out his selection and waits as I cast my eye over them.

I beckon him closer. “And where is the icy blue one going? If the answer is not on top of the drawers in the kitchen alongside these two, you won't be getting in my ass.”

“On top of the drawers alongside those two.” He parrots back, grinning.

“Good answer. However did you come up with that?!”

“Funny. So what about the box? What do we do with that?”

“Keep our junk in it? And make sure he finds out about that.”

“You are evil.”

“I learned from you Erinyes.”

“I must reward you for your noble efforts.”

“Yeah, you must. You really must!”

MICHAEL’S HOUSE - MID AFTERNOON

HALLWAY

MICHAEL

I recheck the jacket pocket and they are definitely not in there, so where the hell are they?! While I am pissed that I can’t find my car keys, I am pleased that they weren’t on the same keyring as the house keys. I need to get my van and the stuff in the garage back to the storage unit. My jaw throbs as I grind my teeth in frustration. That is another thing! Once Carl dumped me there, I was discharged within 10 minutes, with advice to get some sleep, take Advil and put ice on it! That was it and I had to wait ages for a fucking cab!

I pause to check my reflection, I think a bit more bruising is needed first before I go to and see Ma. She called earlier to tell me to come around, so I am happy for her to tend to her poor wounded soldier! I set off down the path and see a guy staring at me, and, for the second time, I have a flash of deja vu. Where have I seen him before?

Shrugging it off, I head towards Ma’s, and when I get there, I can’t believe it! My car is there, looking pristine with a huge bow on it! I see the tag flapping in the breeze, and rush to read it. There in her familiar scrawl are the words; to you, I couldn’t let anyone but you have it xxx. I rush up to the door and start hammering on it.

“Alright! All fucking right!” I hear her yelling, and the door is pulled open. “You are lucky that Gus is with his Grandpa!” She growls.

“Sorry, Ma, but I just can’t believe it!” I jabber excitedly.

“Neither can I! I cannot believe that you are that stupid!” She snaps, before grabbing me by my chin and I wince. “I, on the other hand, am not.” She wipes her fingers on my jacket.

“I tried to cover it up so it is less noticeable.” I state, and then look back at my pride and joy. “So, when did you get it?”

“Of course you did. When did I get what? Oh, the car. Yesterday. Got it delivered this morning while he was...” She pauses before breaking into a big smile. “Hi, sweethearts!” She calls out as Carl comes up the street pushing the buggy.

I feel like Venom at his best, as I wait for his reaction when he sees what she's done.

“Debs?” He slowly comes up the path, looking between the car and me.

“I know what you are thinking…” She looks uncertain. “...but I caught you looking at it a few times, and here we are. Brian has tried but it doesn’t fit, so we are going to have to get one specially made.”

“What doesn’t fit?” I ask her.

“Gus’s carrier.” She walks towards the buggy and takes him out of it. “Did you have a nice walk with Grandpa?” She turns to me. “Michael, you are in the way. Carl needs to get the buggy inside.”

My thoughts of victory die on the spears of defeat as I watch Carl kiss Ma and I hear the jangle of my keys. “It’s all yours.” She grins at him. “Now get that inside, and then take it for a spin!” She heads back to the house, but stops and regards me coldly. “Well, come on in then. While I feed him, you can explain to me why you are being such a lame brained dickhead.”