CHAPTER 5 - BITCHING, PITCHING AND PLAYING DOCTOR

LINDSAY

I turn slowly to look at Mel and the hypocritical bitch has a sappy expression on her face. “I can’t believe you did that!” I spit at her. “How could you? Did you relish this? Did you know before and were just playing me for a fool? Has this animosity between the pair of you always been an act?”

“What are you talking about?” Mel sighs and that heightens my annoyance. “You know what, forget answering that now. We can have this conversation at home, in private. You are not pulling anybody else, especially a sweet little baby, into your melodrama!”

“Here-here!” Carl states and I gape at him.

“And this has what to do with you?” I hiss.

“The same as Gus has to do with you!” He snaps back.

I feel like I have, yet again, been slapped. “Why don’t you understand how much it means to me to be…”

“A glorified nanny, but with a top-end salary? As a matter of interest, what would’ve been the terms of your servitude?” Emmett looks witheringly at me. “Which choice piece of property would you have demanded?”

“Oh you have been chatty, haven’t you, lil Miss Catty!” I snarl at Mel, who is looking at me nonplussed. “Nothing to say?”

“So you want to do this now? Fine. As I said to you before, I never said anything in the first place.”

“Then how did Cynthia find out about my plans? I only told you!”

“Are you sure about that?” I whirl around and look incredulous as Cynthia strolls in as if she owns the place. “Because Mel is telling the truth; it wasn’t her that called Brian.”

“It must have been Mel!”

“No it wasn’t, and I have no reason to save her ass after she constantly pandered to your little Ms Empress ways!” Cynthia smirks. “The person who let that cat out of the bag was you. Darling Debs, can you take your grandson up? He doesn’t need his delicate ears to be assailed by the realisation of the ghoul that she has, yet again, been hoisted by her own, ever so slightly, flat petard.”

“I will take him up, Cyn, but don’t you dare start anything until I get back!”

“I promise you that, Debs.” She laughs and then takes a seat. “So this is fun, isn’t it?”

“As a matter of interest, just who the hell do you think you are coming in like that, Cynthia?! Don’t you think you are taking your dragon lady gatekeeper duties a bit far?!” Michael demands and for once, I wish to be anywhere but here. “And as for you two…” He glares at Emmett and Ted. “...how do you know where he was at midnight?”

“Cynthia is Gus’s mother, and Ted and Emmett are his godfather’s. They saw him right after me.”  Brian’s calm tone grates on my already frazzled nerves.

“She’s his what?!” Michael croaks. “And what about me? What am I to Gus?”

“Mother and whatever I want you to be.” He replies before grinning as Debs comes tearing back in. “Let me catch you up, grandma. Cynthia’s the mom, but you knew that…”

“Ma, you knew?! And you never said anything to me!”

“When he says knew, he means in the looks department!” Emmett sneers, looking down his nose at Michael. “He’s the perfect combination of the pair. And, you need to say sorry for accusing Debs of lying.”

“I didn’t call her a liar! I…”

“Blither, blather and bother! You just had to bring him back, didn’t you?” Emmett snipes. “So Cyn darling, how did she drop her plans into the muck and the mire?”

“She was discussing her plans with members of her nest set and…”

“Bullshit! You're lying! Brian, why would you lie about her being the mother? Look at her! She never could’ve dropped a kid two days ago and still look like that!” Michael sits back, smugly.

“I am the mother, dumbass; I just didn’t carry Gus.” She informs him coldly before turning to me. “And like I said, you were a prideful prattling princess, boasting of your plans to be the mother of Gus in all but name. You were overheard and that person called Brian.”

“Does that person have a name? Is it Mel perhaps?” I glare at the pair of them and they both roll their eyes.

“That’s one of your biggest weaknesses, Lindsay. I mean you have a lot of them, but that is one of your biggest…” Mel pauses and reaches for her drink. “...your fixation complex. It’s actually a trait you share with Michael, a very taxing trait, indeed. You fixate on what you want and how to get it and to hell with what anyone else wants. Your wants, your needs, your way! Well guess what...in a partnership, and to think that’s what I actually thought we have, it’s supposed to be our wants, our needs and our way. You don’t, no, you won’t compromise and I am beginning to get very tired of it. So very tired. But you were right about one thing and it wasn’t until I saw Gus that I realised it. It’s not that I don’t want a child; it’s that I don’t want a child with you regardless of who the father is. I don’t want a child with you!”

“Mel, this is a conversation that should’ve been held in private!” I gasp.

“Again, with the fixation complex! I said that earlier, but you were so determined to have it out now, so have it out we did. Now excuse me, I need to go and clear my head. I have a lot of things to think about.”

I watch incredulous and mortified as she gets up, kisses Debs and Carl on the cheek and then leaves.

“Well the bulldyke finally strapped on a pair, didn’t she?” Emmett snickers. “Oh don’t get me wrong, she’s still in my crosshairs but my arrow is a little lower right now!”

“My turn!” Carl exclaims and I glower at him.

“Oh? And just what do you have to say about me?!” I snarl.

“You?” He gets up and looks me up and down before shaking his head. “Nothing, nothing at all. Judging by the monitor, Gus is awake and it’s my turn to hold him. I mean, if that’s okay with mom and dad?”

“Absolutely, grandpa.” Brian grins and waits for Carl to leave. “Now you two best and dear friends of mine, hear me well. I do not lie and I do not change my mind. This is our home and…”

“Our home?” I scoff. “Who is this our? Don’t tell me she’s moving in?!”

“Again, fixating! He’s talking about Gus. You know... his son, the one you want to be mother of the year to?” Debs has never spoken to me like that before and I am dumbfounded. “I have never liked you, Lindsay. You were only around because of Brian and now that ends in this house... and in mine.”

“This is where you leave us.” Emmett approaches me like a tiger stalking prey. “How I escort you out is down to you.” He then pauses. “And don’t even think of getting comfortable Mikey, because you are out next!”

“Brian, are you going to let him speak to me like that?”

“Yes, because he is my friend and I am beginning to wonder if you ever were. Now I want you both to leave, so that I can enjoy my first day at home with my son and my family.”

MICHAEL’S HOUSE - TWO HOURS LATER

LOUNGE

MICHAEL

I am seething! Not only am I nursing hurt feelings after being thrown out of Brian’s house, but I also have a cut hand from when I opened that duck thing and the opener slipped. The wound isn’t deep but it is painful. I stare out of the window and see happy couples walking past and my eyes drift to Ben’s house. The front door opens and he limps out with a garbage bag.

“Ben! Hey, Ben! What happened?” I run across the road, up the path and gesture to his ankle.

“Tripped over a barbell. And…”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah, not good. Well, I’ve got to take my meds. I’ll see you later.”

“Oh I...well, I was wondering if you wanted to go for a…”

“Ben! Good grief, what the fuck happened?!” A voice shouts out and we both turn to the guy standing outside a cream house.

“Tripped over my barbell!” He calls out to this person.

“Hang on be right there…” He yells back and dumps his shopping inside the house. He quickly crosses over and bounds up the path. “Excuse me, please. Now Ben let me have a look at that ankle…”

“Honest, Eli…”

“No. You need to let me, as a doctor, look at it! You’ve clearly not had it strapped properly. Come on, lean on me and let me get you inside.” He orders and I am pissed by his high-handedness!

“Can I…” I begin.

“Eli! Eli, what’s happened?!” Another person calls out.

This is beginning to feel like that train station in Paris, Carte Door or whatever the fuck it’s called! Once again, I am pushed aside as someone else comes up the path.

“Lunkhead tripped over his barbell and doesn’t look like he’s been to the hospital. Monty, can you get his other side? Right Ben, no weight on that whatsoever. Ready?”

“Yeah.” Ben sighs before turning to me. “Sorry Michael, but they’re right. I really do need to have this looked at. I’ll see you around.”

“Oh o…” The door is shut before I can even finish my sentence. Sighing crossly, I head back home.

BEN AND JUSTIN’S HALLWAY

MONTY

I peer through the panels in the front door and watch Shrillseeker trudge down the path back to his house. I turn to my partner, in love and now rescuing, and find him and Ben on the floor up, shaking with laughter.

“Oh my god!” Ben manages to gasp out, wiping his eyes. “Where the hell…”

“I heard him shouting your name as I got out of the car, and knew you wouldn’t be able to escape, so thought fast!” He giggles and then shoves Ben. “Lunkhead, I must have looked like I had a twitch, I was winking so much!”

“Sorry, I was trying to figure a way out of getting out of the date, he was going to ask me on. It took awhile for me to notice! For that, you deserve a drink!”

“Damn right, we do!” Eli says and helps Ben up. We follow him to the kitchen. “Oh wait, the ice cream! I won’t be long and will come round the back.” He yells and then dashes out, leaving Ben frowning and me laughing.

“Baskin Robbins Jamoca Almond Fudge. I sometimes think he loves that more than me. The smile he sometimes gets when he eats it…” I smirk at the innuendo and Ben snorts.

“We’re a Rainbow Sherbet for Justin and Hokey Pokey for me household. But if we are super depressed, then it has to be Love Potion #31 for him and for me Oreo Nutty Salted Caramel. Although, when trying to be healthy, it’s Ben and Jerry’s…”

“Non-dairy Caramel Almond Brittle?” I hedge.

“You, as well?!” He snickers. “So red or white?” He asks, pulling out glasses

“Oh definitely red for me and white for Eli. Where’s Justin that he couldn’t come to your rescue?”

“Gone to the planetarium. He’s fretting about his first class and wants everything perfect.”

“Ah, I see. So what are you going to do about Shrillseeker? Oh fuck, the block party! We’re going to have to invite him.” I groan.

“You’ve just realised that?” Eli harrumphs as he comes through the back door. “Gladys Kravitz #2 is going to notice!”

“Maybe he’s not that bad once we get to know him.” Ben suggests.

“Isn’t it against some Buddhist principle to lie like that?” I ask, sipping my wine carefully.

“I am blaming the meds.” He chuckles.

MEL AND LINDSAY’S HOUSE - LATE EVENING

LINDSAY

As I open the front door, I find cases in the hall. “Mel?!” I shout and she appears at the top of the stairs. “What’s going on?”

“We need distance so I’m moving out for a while.” She replies, coming down the stairs. “I said to you time and time again that I didn’t call Brian, but you wouldn’t take my word for it. Yet you would take the word of someone you purport to hate? How do you think that made me feel?”

“I don’t believe Cynthia!” I growl and then realise what I’ve just said.

“So you’re calling me a liar...again?”

“No, what I mean is I can’t think who in my el...my social circle would betray a confidence like that and…”

“Bye, Lindsay.” Mel picks up her cases and heads to the door. “We both have things to think about.”

“Where are you going?” I demand sourly. “Just in case I need to send your stuff on.”

“Where else would I go, Lindsay? Where we supposedly started.” She sighs and then closes the door behind her.

MEL’S COTTAGE - AN HOUR LATER

LOUNGE

MEL

I pour myself a glass of wine and look around my cottage and smile...I curl up on the sofa and start to go through my papers for the next day. Half an hour later, I realise something. I’m not irritated and tense like I normally am when I am doing this, and it’s because there isn’t that litany of prattling in the background. For the first time in I don’t know how long, I can concentrate.

BRITIN - THURSDAY MORNING

NURSERY

BRIAN

“Okay. You can do this. You can.” I tell myself firmly.

“Why do you have a clothespin on your nose?” Debs asks as she comes in smiling with Gus’s freshly laundered clothes.

“I may have to see it, but I don’t have to smell it.” I tell her. “Once you smell it, it’s like you can taste it...ugh!”

“Well if a clothespin stops you from going green and running out of the room, again, then pin away!”

I blush at the memory of the first poopy nappy. I squealed, clapped my hand over my mouth and ran to the bathroom then refused to come out. Carl had to change him. “Thanks for staying. I really didn’t quite think through the first week.” I admit, cringing slightly.

“Most parents don’t.” Carl laughs as he comes in with the bottle. “You can buy everything in the world and read all the books. Judging by everything here, it looks like you have. But the physicality and emotion of having Gus here, is nothing you can really prepare for.”

“So do we get to meet her?” Debs asks quietly as she watches me change Gus’s nappy and he just gurgles through it.

“Yeah. Cynthia got her to agree to come and look after Gus while she studies.”

“Good, I’m glad. Want to tell us about her?” Carl tests the milk on his wrist and part of me feels sad that my parents aren’t here to be the way that Debs and Carl are, but the major part of me is glad that they aren’t here...horrible grasping fuckers!

“Okay…” I pick Gus up and get settled on our snuggle chair…

...Debs joins us and gets comfy then helps herself to a grape before waving at me to continue. “She’s her cousin, by marriage. Her name is Daphne and she knows all about Lindsay and is not a fan!”

“Why Cynthia, though? I mean I can understand why not Lindsay, but why Cynthia?” Debs leans over and adjusts the bottle with a sweet smile. “It takes time, and you’ve only been a dad for six days. Stop it.”

“Because she offered and provided me with a contract. The very first stipulation was, and I quote, that bitch doesn’t come anywhere near the baby for as long as you, me and the baby live! I took a year to consider her offer before I said yes and came back to get the process started.”

“Came back?” Debs frowns and then her eyes widen. “How the fuck did you manage that?”

“Without Michael finding out?” She nods. “I told him I was going to get my needs met, just didn’t tell him what need.” She nods and then sighs. “Why not him after all these years of his obvious interest?”

“Can I give my theory first?” Carl asks and we both nod. “You would be carrying him every step of the way of your lives together.”

“Partly. Are you done, Sonny Boy?” I look down into the blue eyes of my son and start to burp him. “But mostly it’s because he’s Lindsay with a dick. He’s as lazy and greedy as she is...maybe even more so, actually. I can’t be with someone who thinks they are entitled to the finer things in life based on the strength of someone else’s struggles to succeed. Besides it’s a very small dick. I’m a size queen and like a good mouthful. I could fit him up my nostril and still be able to breathe out of it.”

Debs claps her hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter, while Carl had to leave the room!

“Okay now that I have erased that image from my mind. What do you mean?” Carl asks as he comes back.

“I first noticed it when we hit Los Angeles…”

Start of flashback

BOOKMONSTER COMIC STORE - 18 MONTHS AGO

BRIAN

We have been here for two hours, but it feels like a day. I still don’t understand why he actually has to read the comic book and then buy it. You’ve read it, now move the fuck on already!

“Brian, will you stop sighing? You are ruining this experience for me.”

Ruining it for him?!

“Can you stop thinking of just yourself for a minute and let us have a little time for ourselves as best friends. I don’t ask for much. Considering everything that I personally have done for you... I mean if it wasn’t for me, then you would be shackled to a kid with the munchers. Just think what would’ve happened if Ted and I hadn’t have come in? You would’ve been brow beaten into having a child with them. I mean can you imagine her as the mother of your child? Not, of course, that a Stud like you would ever have anything to do with a child, especially not with your history, which I know is not your fault. But you wouldn’t want to pass your experience on; I mean, it could be genetic! You know what I mean, don’t you? That poor kid could’ve inherited your penchant for attracting trouble. The fights you got in at school alone were fucking legendary! Why you started them is anybody’s guess! But if you had weakened, as you sometimes do with Lindsay, you would have just ponied up and we’d still be on our way to our fabulous retirement, even though there would be less money because she would have demanded child support from you. I mean, let’s face it… Lindsay’s a leech!”

Ourselves? Don’t ask much? Shackled? Fabulous Retirement?!! So it’s Lindsay who’s the leech?!! I should have Carl put out an APB to find the bullies for them to come back and finally kick his ass the way they were trying to do in the first place!

I am about to give him a well-deserved tongue lashing when my phone buzzes and he looks at me as if daring me to answer. He rolls his eyes and huffs when I do.

“Don’t be long, Brian. I’m hungry and you promised me lunch!” Then he does his ‘I just sat in shit’ stomp out the door while I connect the call.

“Hey Cynthia, you okay…”

End of flashback

WOODY’S - EARLY EVENING

EMMETT

As I flick through the listings, I sip my Cosmo. We’re all on Gus Leave this week so nobody is working. But Brian does want to get some properties in Shadyside and since I want to get ahead of the game, I’m having a looksee. When I spot a gorgeous blue brick building, I save it and sigh. “I wouldn’t mind that myself it has to be said.”

“Not a fucking hope, Honeycutt!” I roll my eyes and just hand my pad to him. “That is gorgeous. How much?”

“Under two. It’s in Shadyside, not too far from Greenfield Boulevard. Look at the rest of the rooms, so light and airy. And of course, there’s attic space.” Brian goes quiet while I start to prepare the email. “I’ve put in a spec offer of $1.4 gonna see what they come back with.” He leans across and kisses my cheek. “So what are you doing out, daddy?”

“Grandparents insisted.” He grins and then sighs.

“Told you it was too big for you, now didn’t I?” I look reproachfully at him.

“Yes, you did. I am rattling around in there and it’s too far away. But with Gus and…”

“He’s less than a week old! The only thing he recognises is you! So just move to this place instead. You’ve got all of us to help and all of us are within a 30 minute drive of each other. I do have an idea about Britin though, before you bellyache. Rent it out for now, using it as an event space.” I watch as he tries to work out logistics and figures before he slowly starts to nod. “I will handle everything with my usual aplomb and...well howdy doody to you my dear, Teddy! I didn’t think you were coming out to play today. I called and called.”

“As did Michael.” He replies sourly. “Need another drink you two?”

“What do you mean Michael?” Brian frowns and signals for a round. It is put down in minutes. “Why is he calling you?”

“Because he wants me to convince the Stud of Liberty Avenue to go back to his old ways. And…”

“So you do know him, then?” A cocky voice interrupts our conversation and we all turn to look at him...and hello doctor, wherever are you thinking of putting that thermometer is okay with me! “I’m Brandon and have a question for you…”

He’s looking at me...surely not! “I am not Brian Kinney, this is Brian Kinney and…”

“I know who he is and who he was.” He replies coolly and this gets Brian’s attention. “I have nothing to worry about him returning to claim his throne, but I do have two questions for you before I come back to you sir. First, how is that gorgeous little boy and the second is how the hell were you the Stud for as long as you were?! Didn’t you get bored?!”

For a few minutes, we are quiet and trying to work out this Brandon character when Brian suddenly grins. “Fuck me! Doctor Green, is that really you?!” He nods and smiles. “He’s fine, thanks!”

Dr Green...the new Stud is an actual for real doctor!

“That’s great. What did you call him in the end?”

“Gus. Oh let me introduce you to my friends, this is Emmett and Ted. Guys, this is Dr Green. He helped deliver Gus when Dr Carter was stuck in traffic. What do you want to drink?”

“A Cîroc and tonic, but it’s okay, I’ll get it.”

“No, I insist!” Brian asserts and when they both signal the barman at the same time, he freezes on the spot looking between the pair of them. Exchanging looks, they burst out laughing. “I bow down to the King, get your own fucking drink!”

“Thank you. So how did you do it for so long?”

“Never fucked the same guy twice.” Brian smirks.

“Ah that’s where I am going wrong!” He snickers before turning back to me. “But back to the original reason for me coming over, you are in trouble with me!”

“Me? Why?” I frown.

“You woke up most of the maternity ward inhabitants, shrieking when Gus arrived into the world. That was very bad of you.”

“And what do you propose to do about that?” Brian asks, leaning towards him. “I am very protective of the godfather of my son.”

ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BAR

MICHAEL

I knew it! The Stud is back to reclaim his place! I watch Brian get into stalk mode as he leans over the truly gorgeous guy. Ted and Emmett are forgotten as they should be and judging by the smile on their faces, a fuck date has been arranged! I think it will be the first time he’s fucked since he got back here. And once he has that prize ass, he will be back to being the Brian that I know and the Brian that he should be to me; I have waited long enough! I couldn’t believe it when we didn’t fuck at all when it was just us. But I guess he didn't want to treat me like one of his tricks and wanted to get it all out of his system before he was finally ready for it to be just me!

Start of flashback

KENSINGTON PARK HOTEL, SAN FRANCISCO - 10 MONTHS AGO

MICHAEL’S SUITE, EARLY EVENING

MICHAEL

I am waiting for Brian to arrive. I asked him to wait in here, while I get dressed for us to hit the bars tonight. I have been waxed and polished to within an nth of my life and am thankful that it’s not too cold so that me being in a towel when I open the door wouldn’t look too odd!

His firm rap on the door heralds his arrival and I muss my hair up and spritz myself to make it look like I have just come out of the shower. I pull open the door and beckon him in. “Won’t be long, got caught up in bidding, ten minutes tops!” I tell him.

“Uh Mikey, I can wai…” He begins and then goes quiet as I casually throw my towel across the room and make my way back to the bedroom.

I turn back to him and smile. “Ten minutes okay.” He just nods.

I leave the door slightly ajar so I can hear his approach and sit on the bed. I smile at the sound of the clink of bottles in the cart. I just shake my head. He doesn’t need Dutch Courage for this. I have been waiting for him for ever! I shift slightly and bite my lip as the butt plug brushes against my prostate. I give my cock a quick squeeze so that I don’t go off the moment he touches me! I step into the bathroom so I can cool down a bit and then I step out when I hear my phone beep and my stomach drops in disappointment as it’s from Brian, saying he will meet me downstairs. He’s had to take an urgent call…

End of flashback