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Officer Thirn looks at the crockery and then at me. “So what exactly are you asking me to do about this?”

Stop talking teacup.jpg kindly teacup.jpg

“Your job! Find the people sending them to me!”

“Did you call the delivery company?”

“They are delivered personally. There are security cameras up and down the street, I am waiting for someone to come…”

“Well until a representative comes…”

“Let me finish, please! They are coming in the next five minutes or so, and…”

“I am not your beck and call cop, nor do I like being screamed at.”

“I apologise for screaming, but you have to understand the stress this has put me under. This is the third set I have received in the last two days…”

“So your cup runneth over, Sir.”

“I would appreciate it if you took this seriously.” I grind out.

“Of course. Sorry, trying to inject some humour there..”

“You failed. What if it’s this next one?” I gesture at the laptop. “I have found where they get them from, they have ones that say, I Hope You Choke, You Are Tedious and I Could Poison You amongst others. And then there…”

“There is someone at your door.” He interrupts me and I frown as I hadn’t heard the knocking or the bell. “Aren’t you going to open it?”

“What if it’s them?” I whisper.

“Do they normally knock?” He whispers back.

“No, the delivery is in my cubby.” I whisper back and then start to feel silly as I get what he means, I clear my throat. stride to the door and open it. “Officer, there is a caller here!”

“Can I come...”

“He wants to come in!” I yell over my shoulder, not taking my eyes of the guy at the door.

“Sir, why are you shouting?”

“Holy shit, don’t creep up on me like that!” I scream and stumble forward only for the guy to step aside so I almost fall on my face. “Double shit!” I wince as my palms scrape on the path and my knees hit hard.

“Are you alright?” The officer asks, helping to get me upright.

“Not really, no! Who are you?!” I bark at the stranger.

“Nate Killson.” He reaches inside his jacket but I grab his hand. “I would let go if I were you…” He growls.

“Sir, unhand him!” Thirn barks at me. “I am sure he is just reaching for ID, right?” He nods and I slowly loosen my grip. “Please give the ID to me, Mr…”

“Killson. See it says right there.” He sneers as he hands it to him. “I was called about wanting to see some surveillance discs.”

“Why didn’t you identify yourself immediately?” I demand.

“I wasn't given a chance to, what with you trying to jump into my lap or wrestle me to the ground! Now can we get this done?!”

“Yes let’s. After you.” I tell them.


“Sir, if we were going to attack you like you clearly fear, it doesn‘t matter if we are in front or behind…”

He nods and goes ahead of us and I resist the temptation to goose him just for the hell of it! The urge to frighten him gets worse as he keeps giving me the eye to ‘watch him’ as Killson sets the disc up for the night of the first delivery.

“So, Mr Novotny, are we ready?” He asks wearily.

“Yes.” He replies, moving closer to me, and, after helping him up before, I move away. He does not take the hint that his shit does indeed stink. We watch the disc and watch a young man come stand at his gate, he appears to be talking to someone and points at the front door, he gives a thumbs up and then comes down the path and puts the package in his cubby. The next disc shows a different kid who again points at the door and delivers.

“So, do you recognise them?”

“No. But they look like subs!” He seethes. “Just the kind of minor he likes!”

“What’s this now?” I frown.

“Well he wouldn’t come himself, obviously, so he sent them. I bet that he’s up the road watching them deliver!”

“Who are you talking about?”

“Emmett Honeycutt. He most likely is the guy that is sending them to me.”

“Do you have the packaging still?” Killson asks as he peers at the screen.

“Yes, why?”

“That last delivery, I saw a flash of white…” He straightens up. “...maybe a...”

“Hello, anyone in?!” Is bellowed. “Door’s wide open! Is everyone okay?!”

“Stay here.” I tell them, Killson nods and I pinch my nose as Novotny has somehow made it to the other side of the room behind the sofa, and is looking petrified!

I head to the door and find a young man with a box in his hand. “Oh, hi Officer, is everything alright?”

“Yes. What you got there?”

“Delivery for this place.”

“Can you come in for a second?” He frowns and takes a couple of steps back. “I just want to talk about that.”

“Can’t we talk out here, where my boss can see us?” He points up the road so I step out and again he steps back.

“Sir, can you come here please?!”

“Who are you?” The guy shouts back, but is coming down the street. “Hello, Officer…”

“Thirn. And you are…”


“You asshole!” Is shouted from behind then Novotny comes storming up the hallway. “You’re not black!” He exclaims as he gets level with me, and for a few long seconds nobody says a word. “Who are you and why are you being a delivery boy for that prick Honeycutt?!”

“Who are you talking about? I am Tobias Benson from Sip…”

“Ted and his boyfriend are doing this?! It makes sense now after that mug!”

“Ted and...no, these deliveries are as per the order.” He pulls out a piece of paper and hands it to me.

I read it, pinch my nose again and sigh. “My Novotny, according to this, you ordered these. They were out of stock when it was first placed and now they’re being hand delivered. And it also says for them to be returned to you should there be nobody to sign for it. Leave in cubby.”

“Ordered?” He repeats, and then the redness of realisation suffuses his face.

“Can we step down the armed guard and close the file on your stalker?”

“Um, yes, I had…”

“So I can go too now, right?” Killson snickers and I huff a laugh before waving him on his way. “Oh, and sleep with the lights on! That way you can see nobody coming to get you or screw you!”


Twenty minutes later I am wondering how the hell I forgot about ordering them for Mrs Soon To Be Horvath as a joke wedding present. Officer Thirn said before he left, that he was tempted to caution me for wasting police time, but my humiliation would be enough of a cautionary tale for me. I head to the cart and pour a brandy. I can no longer stomach that drink. Settling back on the sofa, I try to plan my day, then my stomach grumbles. I was so panicked that I couldn't eat.

“I will be damned if I go there! Oh I know!” I drain my glass and then grab my keys and jacket and head to the car, then I stop and stare at the back of the truck Carl hired disappearing down the street!

“Hey!” I shout and run to my car to follow it. “You are fucking with me!” I bellow as I drop my keys and they go straight down the drain!



I jump out of my skin as the door is almost kicked in and the idiot ninja is looking like he is going to combust.

“Where is she?! Or him?!” He bellows striding up to my desk.

“Who are talking about?!”

“Honeycutt! Or Mrs Horvath to be!”

“Emmett is out on an appointment with Debs. Maybe I can help you, you know, once you calm down.”

“I am perfectly calm, and no, you can’t help me! I shall just report this theft to the authorities and they can deal with them!”

“What theft?” Debs asks as she comes through the back.

“I thought you weren’t in! Mention the police and like Suddenly Susan here she is, not of course that she will be charged with anything, screwing the law has its advantages after all! So where is Honeycutt?”

“Suddenly Susan? Theft?” Emmett comes through the front and I wheel out of the line of fire, because, unlike him, as he is closing the door, I can see the expression on her face.

Screwing the law has its advantages, did you seriously just say that?!”

“Yes. It’s true, as you are. Don’t you like the truth? So, Mrs, oh what do I call you since you’re not a Novotny now and not a Horvath yet?!”

“Neither are you!” She snarls. “You are a DeVore! I am a Grassi and ne’er the twain shall ever meet again!”

“What do you mean neither am I?! Who is DeVore?!”

“That would be the name of your father. I believe his first name is Daniel, but goes by the name of Divina sometimes. The ugly screaming diva personality and appalling taste in clothing has to come from him.” I tell him coldly and stand up. “I assume your rabidity is because the van was towed?”


“It was taken back by the hire company because it was late to be returned, this is standard practice. You can collect it from there. Now your choice, door or window?”



I am still in shock after their latest betrayal! For years, years! She told me that my father was Lt Novotny, and now my entire identity is ripped asunder! Last night, her son came around. I saw him coming up the path and opened the door before he had time to knock, thinking he had come to give me a grain of comfort; but oh no! He threw it in my face and walked away! That caused a papercut to my cheek, another wound from him, but this time people can see it.

I took my time to open it and inside was my birth certificate and a brief note saying that at the time he had walked away, but knew about me, he was just not ready for fatherhood and she let him be who he needed to be. She said that she has told him all about me...yeah, as if!

I spent a lot of time on the internet, and he is quite the celebrity. So today, I am going to surprise him with a visit! I can start my family anew with him.

“Ready or not, here I come Dad!”




I look at my reflection; I have a bruised cheek, a fat lip, a broken tooth and a speeding ticket!

I wince as I apply the compress to my face. Turns out that she had indeed been telling him all about me. She had brung him so up to date that when I got to his place, the first thing he did was punch me! He then snarled that I should consider myself an orphan, and that I am a disgrace to his loins. He then dragged me to my car, shouting that if I ever darkened his door again, he would make sure that pissing and fucking would be a problem for me!

And to cap it all off, the cop that gave me speeding ticket for doing 40 in a 30 mile zone, despite my obvious distress and injuries, which I rushing home to tend to, was Officer Thirn!

I trudge downstairs, my stomach a swirling mass of fury and disappointment. Sighing, I stare out of the lounge window and watch the world go about their business, when my guts drop. For there across the street is her going into his highness’s house laughing!

“Enjoy your happiness while it lasts.” I mutter bitterly, and then start to smile as I realise that I have the perfect payback. “She told my real dad about me, let’s see how much she likes it when my fake dad’s family find out about her!”


Chapter End Notes:

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