I tip my head back and roar with laughter, composing myself a few seconds later, and if anything in that short time, his gaze has gotten colder.

“What is amusing about that?”

“As if you and I have anything to talk about! Oh, unless it is swapping bottom tips, which I do not need from you. I will have you know…”

“Admiration is a strange feeling...”

“Although I know I have many admirable qualities, which one do you admire most?” I sit back against the table and am surprised when he sits next to me.

“I said admiration, not that you're admirable. Mostly, what intrigues me is where you get your hellbent despicable persistent vindictiveness from? I can’t understand your almost nymphomaniacal desire to get your own way, regardless of the cost to anyone else.”

I stand up quickly and wrench open the door. “As a matter of interest, what are you doing in this place, get arrested did you?”

“I am the senior processing clerk…”

“Of course you are. See you, backroom boy, wouldn't want to be you!” I taunt him and slam the door in his face. I rush outside while thinking where they would go...of course, the brand new sparkly Woody's!

TODD

I watch him look up and down for a good five minutes, I smile as I dial a little friend. “He’s outside, pick him up and give him a better option than to cause strife and mayhem, then take him to the house. I know, my dear, but this has to be done within the confines of legality. Bye now.”

I turn around at the tap of the door and bid them enter. “Hi, Jack, is that for Brian Kinney?” I gesture at the papers and he hands them over with a toothy grin, which I return.

“So cool…” He points at them. “...though I did think he was going to clobber him.”

“Hmm. Must have been very tempting. Well, let's get back to dealing with the rest of the ugly, which, sadly, is our staple.”

“True! See you later!” He calls back over his shoulder as he heads in the opposite direction.

I watch his butt bounce under his slacks, and whistle under my breath, but I will never betray my LeLe like that. And, speak of the devilish Dickens! “Hey there…” I sigh into my phone. “...how are you? Good. Ah, Ems called, did he? Mmmm, yes, all sorted out, it was a bit naughty of me to rejig Franklin’s cases so that could be heard by him, but it had to be done. Speaking of done, can you call Del and let her know that his attorney did not write this up, he refused, but an Angus Horton did. Yes, that Angus Horton, the one that is friends with Gardner Vance, who also doesn't care what the papers are as long as he gets paid. I shall deal with him myself…” I look at my watch and sigh. “...I have to go file them and then I am in court until at least four. Bye, baby.”

Shaking off my darkening mood although looking forward to our talk, I head to my office.

WOODY’S - FORTY MINUTES LATER

CARLOS

Bossman has parents! I am absolutely delighted for him, couldn’t have happened to a nicer set of people! Every so often, he looks across at them, especially Carl, and gets this look that says I have a dad who loves me and won’t hurt me.

“Okay, people!” I holler. “In honour of this auspicious occasion, we have prepared a dish to celebrate the joining of the two houses of Kinney, Horvath and Horvath-to-be! I present to you surf and turf, steak and lobster with roasted garlic chimichurri butter…”

“Uh…” Justin begins.

“With string fries of course!” I add with a grin.

“Yes!” He kisses Brian’s cheek and then does the same to Carl and Debs. “So, this is where, and can I help?!”

“In the kitchen, and no you can’t!” Blake declares, sprinting to the door, much to Brian’s amusement and Justin’s chagrin.

“Okay, let’s serve.”

“Wait, where’s the celebratory booze?!” Brian calls out, looking around.

“Be patient! And prepared to be awed!” Blake grins at me, and I nod at the barkeeps who head to get them. As they come back with a mountain of balloons it goes quieter.

“Carlos, why are we looking at whatever we are looking at? And what the hell are they?” Brian looks unimpressed.

“Booze balloons. Stop glowering and listen. Have a scientist friend who is also an environmentalist but with a loud mouth, which tends to get him into fights. He  came up with this. Basically it is a seaweed based outer with booze inside. You can eat everything, cuts down on…”

“Call your friend.” He picks one up and inspects it thoroughly and thoughtfully. Ted starts to smile and pulls out his phone to make notes. “Can you imagine this at Pride? Or the Blue Moon Library? Definitely have to have them there. Yeah, Ted, you need to…”

“Investigate proprietary rights, way ahead of you. Think the process is well known, but having them with booze, we have to nail that down. Leave it with me, Bri.”

“Son?” Carl frowns.

“Glass is glass.” He replies and, judging by his expression, this doesn't clarify anything. “I mean, you won't get rid of glass in bars, that is part of their appeal, but if they swapped to these from eleven and when fights tend to occur, there's no glassing be…”

“...cause there is no glass!” Debs declares. “And throwing these eases the tension because it is funny?!”

“Yep. Ted!” Brian looks around. “Where’d he go?!”

“Office. Hold on Mac...said he’d be an hour and can we wait?!” Brian nods. “Mac is on his way.”

“Can I at least have a roll or something?!” Justin glowers.

HOUSE OF MAHATMA AND MILQUETOAST - EARLY EVENING

TODD

I snicker as I hear the the grating tones of Michael genuflecting at his altar. The way he tells it, the Stud of Liberty Avenue was named by him, is no longer a virgin because of him and they have an agreement that he flies free for five years and then nests with him. Nests!! Seriously?! I turn as the door opens, and our Get Outta the Avenue card has arrived!

“Darling, you look exquisite. Stand by the hatch.”

I head to the lounge, and when I enter he stops talking, then goes slightly red. I smile and Robert, who picked him up outside the courthouse, smiles back, then rises and stretches. “I trust you had a pleasant afternoon?”

“Yes, luckily my masochism extends to being bored to tears. But everyone has their limits…”

“What is…” Michael begins to object.

“Silence! You will not speak anymore!” Robert pulls out a ball gag and waves it nonchalantly. “I also have a sadistic side and it is between you and the door! May I send them in?”

“You may. Clarence!” I call out, and he comes into view. It takes a few seconds for Michael to recognise him. When he does he looks confused and relieved. “I take it you remember him?”

“Yes, yes I do. Nice and tight.” He crows. “First time I topped in the backroom. Is this a return visit, and Backroom Bottom Boy wants tips?”

“No.” Clarence's face twists with revulsion. “I had more than enough of what little you had to offer.” He is about to say something when the Council arrives. He looks uneasily at them and shifts in his seat. “Oh, worry not, they are not going to cause you any harm, they are to stop you from harming me.”

“Harm you? Why would I do that?”

MICHAEL

I don’t understand what he is doing here, let alone these people, I casually reach for my phone, which was on the table, and put it on my lap before I dial the number in readiness, then I realise I can't tell the police where I am anyway.

“287 Fieldwork Drive.” Backroom Boy calls out. “This is the address for here. And I told you that I work at Allegheny Courthouse, and I love my job, being arrested for whatever is concocting in your brain will mess with that. Now, back to the reason you will leave Pittsburgh never to return…”

“I am not leaving…”

“You sit, and Clarence, you show him.” The guy I recognise as my almost landlord orders, Clarence nods and takes off his jacket and steps towards me.

“You never listen.” Clarence blathers, and I am about to bitch at him when I notice two things under his top, or should that be three things! I gasp and stand up as the overshirt is removed. “I said to you that the condom broke but you just said you were clean. In fact, you were celebrating a clear result. Had the letter with you as you wanted to show Brian, you said, but he wasn’t in Babylon that night after you came back home.”

I start to feel sick as I take in the sight in front of me. “You're a woman?!”

“And a Drag King and pregnant. And you’re the father.”

“No!” I gibber and stand behind the chair I was sitting in shaking. “No! This is a trick, a lie!”

“Denial is not just a river in Africa it seems. Proof is what you need, and proof is what you have.” Backroom Boy presses a remote and the flat screen shows the backroom, more specifically it shows me and Clarence going at it and then her following me to the car. “Brian doesn't know about this, but he and Debs will be told. You may not see her as your mother anymore, but The Avenue and The Boulevard proudly does, and claims her.”

“How many months?” I can't tear my eyes off the video, which seems to be on a loop.

“Just passed four, so it’s too late, and I wouldn't anyway.” She answers, putting her overshirt back on. “I am not sure if I will keep the baby though. Now you will steal off into the night or this…”She points at the screen. “...and everything that you have said since you got here will hit The Avenue and every gay bar in the wider Pennsylvania area, by the time I am through making you look like a closet case you will regret the day you were ever born.”

I open my mouth to say something, but before I can make a sound, one of the goons starts to laugh. “What the fuck is so funny?” I snap.

He flaps his hands several times as he laughs harder and harder. Finally he regains control of himself but gives me a sneering look. “How fucking stupid can you be? You couldn't even tell it wasn't her ass you were shoving that tiny little dick into?!” With that, the whole group, including Clarence, howl with laughter.

“And the answer to your chanted question is hell no!”

“What do you…”

“I am the best after the Stud, right? The best! You’ve never had it so good, right?! Best after the Stud! Best after the Stud!” My voice rips through me on each thrust. But it is the look on her face...she looks bored!

She stops laughing and looks coldly at me. “So we are going to take you back to your place and pack it up so you can start some place new...”

“How do I know you won’t share this anyway?!” I snarl.

“You don’t.” She retorts. “And this is what will keep you away, because of your unwavering and unwarranted sense of self, your misplaced sense of pride of being who you are. You will go now and never come back that we get to hear about...or so you think. We got this, remember, so think about what else we might have?”

CARL AND DEBS HOUSE - TWO DAYS LATER

LOUNGE

EMMETT

My flabber has never been so gasted! Nobody says a word but we cringe an awful lot, as we watch him channel the Stud! Horrendous does not come close!

“Please switch it off.” Carl mutters from behind his hands and Debs’s back.

Todd waits for Brian and Debs to look at him. “He is leaving, a friend is staying with him right now. He could not pack fast enough. However, Clarence has made her decision. She will not keep the baby. When the child is placed in the care system, I will keep an eye and make sure that whoever takes him or her is…”

“Oh god!” Debs weeps and my heart breaks as yet another one of his clusterfucking chickens comes to roost!

“No.” Justin declares and looks at Brian, who at first frowns, and then has such a look of astonishment combined with relief and love that I start to cry. “So tell her.”

“Tell me…” Debs begins then she looks at them carefully. “...kiddo?”

“We are going to have kids together, so why not start with my niece or nephew? He is still your son despite what he has done, right?” He takes her hand. “Right?” She nods with tears starting to flow. “So it is settled. Mel can you and Todd speak to Clarence and…” He frowns and looks at Todd. “...what is her actual name?”

“Clara.” Todd grins and pulls out his phone, before pausing. “What about his rights?”

“Get them signed over now, I want no way back for him.” Debs orders. “My son is out and proud and people know him, far and wide. He’s behaved this way already and once the baby is born…” She trails off as the full picture hits us of what Michael could attempt to do.

“Let me call my friend.” Todd starts to dial but stops when Benson clears his throat. “What?”

“Before you do that, let me make a couple of calls myself. Give me an hour, he ain't going anywhere from what I gather right?”

“Correct.” Todd and I exchange looks.

“There is an advantage to being me.” Benson intones and then heads outside speaking rapidly in Russian.

FOUR HOURS LATER

BENSON

“Like I said, being a prince has its advantages. He will not cause you anymore problems.”

“So how isn't he going to do that?” Todd demands.

“A lady never tells, do they, Jen?” I top up her glass having brought her back with me.

“Deystvitel’no, oni ne.” We all look at her in bewilderment. “That's Russian for indeed they do not.” She winks at Benson, then raises her glass with a smile.

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