CHAPTER 9 - 2 TYPES OF BLOCK AND 1 TYPE OF BALL: PARTY, COCK AND BLACK

BRIAN

“Okay, we will chat, but before that, let’s get Bumpy Momma to have a hold. Please, you did such a great thing.”

“Bumpy Momma?” Daph lights up as she takes Gus gently out of the buggy. “Oh god, you two make gorgeous babies!” She sighs before sitting down with him. “Now you two need to take that box and open it together. It’s from my folks.”

“Finally!” Cynthia cries then snatches it from the floor and starts to tear it open. She looks up at the silence. “I’m an only child!” She snickers and then she sighs as she pulls out a vintage pair of dungarees. “Your mom and her investment pieces.” She sniffs and then wipes away a tear. “I can’t wait for him to grow into this!”

I think she’s being over emotional until she hands them to me. I look at the dungarees and then at Gus and it hits me. He’s going to grow into these! “Don’t take out anything else Cyn…” My voice sounding thick even to me. “...I think Debs will want to be there when we look at the rest. Oh, she wants to meet you as well, Daphne.”

“Fine with me. Now Ben, be a doll and take that box away from my cousin. Like she said, she’s an only child…”

“So how have you been, Justin? It’s been a long time since I saw you last.” Cyn smiles across at him.

“Fine thanks, Cynthia. What a small world.” He replies and then looks across at me. “Can we get the scope moved? Then I can make up the bed for her.”

“Sure, no problem.” I reply and follow him up the stairs. I must have radiated curiosity because as we got to door, he just stopped and looked at me with one eyebrow raised. “Okay, how do you know Cyn?”

“I am from the same societal set as she is... well my folks are. I moved out as soon as I could!”

“Oh, I see.” I smirk as I notice he hasn’t left the key in the lock. “You’ve either finished them or moved them, which is it?”

“Er what are you talking about?” He frowns.

“The cookies. No key and the door’s unlocked so…”

“Oh, that reminds me! One sec!” He brushes past me and then leans over the bannister. I try, and fail, not to look! “Daph! Where’s the other jar?”

“Brown duffel bag!” She yells back up.

He grabs the bag and pulls out a jar of cookies. “That should last you at least a…” He looks me up and down. “...month? Yeah, a month. I should imagine you’re the type who, even when he treated himself to one, would break them in half?” I grin and nod, then almost snatch the jar out of his hands. “Thought so. Okay, let’s get this moved to my room for now.”

We pick up the scope and slowly shuffle to his room and I am astonished by it. “I have to say he’s got an excellent eye does Emmett.”

“He does. Ben and I were fighting over it. In the end, I won the toss off so I was very happy indeed.”

“Most men are happy when they toss off.” I demur. “And you said you two were just good friends.”

“Just good..? Coin toss, I meant!” He blusters. “Come on, and just for that, you get to help me make up the bed and I like hospital corners!”

MICHAEL’S HOUSE - AN HOUR LATER

LOUNGE

MICHAEL

I am soaking my feet in some water. I have at least four blisters and the tops of my toes are throbbing. I called Ma, because Brian is still pretending to be mad, and asked her about the shoes. She said that I should perhaps try cutting the claws I call toenails! I peer out the window when I hear the sounds of a vehicle reversing and gasp. He’s gone all out! I can see fairy lights, fake grass and the smells are incredible. I still can’t believe he’s done this!

I quickly dry my feet and try the shoes on again, but it’s no good. I can’t wear them! I check them carefully for signs of wear and can’t see any, so put them back in the box to take them back on Monday. I limp upstairs to finish getting ready.

BEN AND JUSTIN’S HOUSE - 45 MINUTES LATER

BEN

“No. I’ll get it.” I order Daph and Cyn then head to the front door and pull it open.

“Hey, you gorgeous thing!” Emmett trills and sweeps in kissing me on the cheek and I look behind him. “She’s on check duty. I may like perfect, but when it comes to Big Bad, she takes it to another level!” He laughingly calls over his shoulder as he heads to the lounge.

“Hey Cyn and who is this gorgeous thing?” He demands on seeing Daph. “Wait? No, you’re Bumpy Momma?!” He gasps.

“Also known as Daph, my cousin.” Cyn chuckles.

“Cousin? Oh, she is going to spit shit when she hears this. I, my darling, am Emmett and if Cyn hasn’t told you anything about me, I shall sulk!”

“Oh she has told me lots, which is why you need to be there for the slappabitch beatdown of the century.”

“Ooh, Lindsay gets hers! When? And who by?” He asks, reaching for Gus and she hands him over.

“Whenever she feels like it. Though, I suspect it will be quick. My mom is not going to be too happy when I tell her that the person she described as an incubator was me.” Daph replies and Emmett freezes. “Inhale Gus goodness. Inhale Gus goodness.” She orders sternly.

It takes a while, but he does start to relax. “Incubator? Incubator? Really?”

“Here Ems.” I pour him a generous glass of wine and swap that for Gus.

“Mmm, thank you.” He sighs, having inhaled half the glass. “Oh, that’s better. Wait, where is Big Bad and the Jiggle?”

“Big Bad and the what?” I laugh.

“Oh, that’s what I call Justin. Jigglebutt. Have you seen that thang?!” He grins and then grabs his phone as it beeps. “He’s here!”

“Who’s here?” Daph frowns.

“Oh someone catch her up, while I go get my date-bait!” Ems coos. “Won’t be long!”

MONTY AND ELI’S HOUSE

ELI

“Have you seen outside, sweetie?” I call over my shoulder and then sigh happily as his strong arms wrap around me. “I am so glad we moved here.”

“Mmm me too. Though, I think we could all do without Mr Red Brick!”

“Perhaps we could start a petition?”

“Don’t tempt me! You know what I am like when I get on one of my causes!” He nips my ear. “I think we should start the klaxon, don’t you?”

BLOCK PARTY - AN HOUR IN

DEBS

I look down the street and feel such fucking pride for my boy! He has done this! He could’ve done anything else. I watch people start to come out of their homes and just stare. “It’s beautiful, just beautiful.” I hear someone say as they walk passed.

“Honey, we have got to ask them where they’ve gotten the cushions from.”

“No need!” I call out after them. “You get to take a set home with you each. A welcome to the gayborhood present!”

“Really?!” He gasps, reaching for it but stops after being slapped on the hand by his partner. “Oh, right, after the party!”

“Ma! Ma!” I hear the interminable yelling of my other son. “Hey guys! Welcome to the neighbourhood!” He calls out, waving to people as he passes and completely oblivious to the fact that nobody is reciprocating either words or gestures.

“Why are you limping?” I ask for want of a better conversational starting point.

“My shoes were hurting.” He explains, looking around. “I still…”

“You aren’t wearing shoes! And for the last fucking time, is a block party, not a Let’s Welcome Home My Pimp party!”

“Welcome Home My...oh, for goodness sake! This is all part of the ruse, don’t you see that?”

“No, I don’t see that!” I snarl and am about to rip into him when a little girl comes skipping up to us. “Hey sweetie, are you okay? You lost?”

“No. My daddy is over there. But he said that you said we can take a set of cushions home each is that true?”

“Yes.” I reply. Out of the corner of my eye, I watch Michael start to walk down the line of cushions, peering at them intently. I then gape as he picks up two extra large ones and starts to limp back to his house. “One second, sweetie.” I easily catch him up. “What the hell are you doing?!”

“Taking the cushions.” He replies as if it makes perfect sense to take the cushions before even the drinks has been served.

“Put them back right now, asshole!” I snarl and he, for the first time, flinches.

“Why are you calling me an asshole? That’s Brian’s nom de plume.” He asserts with a smile. When I do not smile back, his drops off his face.

“You want everything that Brian has? Well congratulations, the asshole crown is all yours! Now give me them and go circulate amongst your many friends in the neighbourhood. Or simply put, go look in a mirror and talk to yourself!”

MICHAEL

I give up the cushions, after all I can always get them later. Then watch her storm off. I look around and spot the rescuers for Ben and head in that direction. But before I have even gotten three steps, I hear my name being called. It’s Ted so I wait for him to catch up.

“Yes?” I ask coolly.

He pulls out a piece of paper. “What is this?” He hands it to me and I look at it briefly.

“What does it look like?” I retort.

“You tell me and more importantly why you emailed it to Brian?”

“It’s a list of stock I want to purchase, and as he has done for me over the last two years. I want Brian to buy them now that we’re back and…”

“But you agreed during our last conversation that if you wanted anything else from that point onwards, you would use your own resources for it. You signed the document stating that fact a couple of days later.”

“What? No. I’m not using my own resources! My resources are exactly that! Mine! And…”

“Brian’s are his. As per the contract, he has absolved and dissolved all monetary ties to you, for you and with you, forthwith. Which is why we got your agreement to it in writing so you couldn’t conveniently say that you misheard.”

“Ted, this is not the time or the place for this conversation! Let’s talk tomorrow....”

“There is nothing further to talk about. You want it, you buy it!” He snaps and then walks off.

I watch him walk towards Ben’s house and then stare incredulously as not only does Ben look hot, but Brian is coming out too. I walk up as fast as I can and then screech to halt as the wannabe Stud saunters across the street and they embrace!

“What the hell is going on?!” I demand, stalking up to the pair of them. “Why are you hugging him?!”

“That’s what you do with friends; you hug them hello. It’s an experience you are not going to have from anybody anytime soon!” Emmett retorts.

“Friends? You two?” I scoff, glaring at the pair of them. “That must have been one hell of a fuck...what the hell?!” I yelp as a hand cracks across my face, causing my ear to ring and eyes to water. I look around and then glare at woman, staring at her hand. “What the fuck…”

“Got it! Look at that!” She crows and then pauses. “Oh! Sorry but that would have hurt more than the slap if it had bitten you! May I have a napkin, please?” She calls out to a waiter.

She wipes her hand and then holds it out to me. I just stare at her until she retracts it. “Look I’m a pre-med student studying tropical medicines. If that Junebug had bit you, you would be on your way to A&E!”

“This is where you say thank you and introduce yourself.” Ted growls.

“You didn’t have to slap me so hard. I’m Michael.” I retort and then notice that Brian, Ben and Brandon have gone. “Where’s Brian?”

“Why would the location of your former friend be any of your concern?” Emmett snarks and then I watch in disbelief as the wannabe Stud comes back with a Cosmo for him and then wraps his arms around him!

“What is going on with you two?”

“I am not your friend, therefore, what I do and who I do it with concerns you how?” Emmett sneers. “Now come Dr Stud, I have some sights you need to see.”

“What’s this Dr Stud shit?!” I turn to Daphne and Ted.

“He’s a Dr and a Stud, so I guess Emmett amalgamated the two. Now, excuse me. I need to be with a guy with a lot more charisma, manners and gratitude!” Ted gives me a filthy look and leaves me with Daphne.

“So, how do you know everyone?” She asks.

“I’m Brian’s best friend and have been for years. He bought me that house down there. Why are you frowning?”

“In the past year that I have known him, he’s never mentioned a Michael.” She replies. “And as for you mentioning being his best friend, this is not what I have heard. I have heard that this much vaunted position belongs to a trifecta of people, Emmett, Ted and Cynthia. You weren’t mentioned at all. He did mention a Mikey, who he regarded as a contagion or was it scourge? I can’t quite remember, but he was definitely a miscreant not worthy of the shit on his shoes. But that’s totally not you, right?”

BRIAN

I know WASPs but I don’t know about BAPs… Justin explained that this means Black American Princess, who are apparently much worse than WASPs as they can mix and match the insults, with much more finesse. Judging by the expression on Michael’s face, that’s exactly what Daphne is doing.

“Big Bad, you need to make the block party opening speech.” Ems comes over and Justin and I pretend not to notice that Brandon’s watched him walk over. I nod and take a quick look at Cyn, who’s got Gus and is being billed and cooed over. She’s not fooling anyone with that expression, she’s loving every second.

I head to the microphone and tap it for silence.

MICHAEL

I look around and can’t help but feeling self-satisfied at this. This is what it is, no matter what some jealous folk want to say! I turn to Daphne and she smiles at me. “This party is for me. All of this is for me! We’ve been away for 2 years and this is my welcome…”

“Good evening, all. I hope you have enjoyed the evening thus far. I’m Brian, the former Stud of Liberty Avenue, whether I become the Stud of Shadyside that remains to be seen. But the one thing I most definitely am is your benevolent landlord. Well until you fu...annoy me by moaning that your chintz doesn’t match your plaid. Not my problem! Be late with your rent and then I become your problem. So this block party is to celebrate the first all gay enclave in Pittsburgh. As well as that, I am delighted to say that on Liberty Avenue, I will be opening Kinnetic Estates, which will primarily focus on gay tenants. This will be managed by Emmett Honeycutt, who most of you know and Debbie Horvath, who most of you will get to know whether you like it or not! There will also be a legal advisory service, which will be headed by Melanie Marcus on a pro-bono basis. But all of this guff will be in your newsletter. So fu...go forth and enjoy! Thank you.”

He steps away from the mike and then grabs his champagne back from Emmett...and that’s it. That’s it! Daphne taps me on my arm and I turn to her. “I didn’t hear your name mentioned. Are you known as something else by him?”

“No. Excuse me a minute.” I mutter and head towards where Brian is talking to his dragon lady. “Brian, can I have a word with you?”

“No.” He says over his shoulder without even turning around.

“Brian…” I tap him on his shoulder and he turns around. “...I think this ruse has gone long far enough. I was a bit embarrassed, having told my neighbours that this party was a welcome...what are you looking at me like that for?”

“How is this away?” He retorts and then sighs. “I regret it now.” I smile as I knew he would eventually. “But there is nothing I want to do, because as I said, it is not worth the money buying the house from you. So I suggest you learn to behave because there is a Greenfield Gayborhood Committee, who are very gung-ho on nuisance neighbours, of which you are a prime example. While I don’t want to buy your house from you, if you plague them as you are plaguing me, I will advise all the residents here to exercise the option in their tenancy to remove any resident from their property, whether owned by them or not. Like I said, behave and you can start doing that by walking away!”

I am about to say something when Carl comes over and takes Gus away from Brian. “Debs and I are going to take this little one home. You enjoy the rest of your evening. Michael, go home while you still have a home to go to.”

“Carl...” I begin snidely as I have never liked the man, but then I pause because it is completely quiet. And everyone is looking at me. “...I will go home now because I am choosing to. Don’t stay out too late or be too loud everyone. I would hate to have to call the police for noise pollution.”

“You’re the only pollutant round here!” Carl snaps over his shoulder as he pushes Gus away and he gets claps on the back as he passes. Then he pauses and turns back. “Don’t even think of taking the cushions. You’ve taken more than enough!”

I turn swiftly on my heel and limp home as fast as I can, vowing to do two things: read the document that Ted was talking about and try and get a copy of a tenant’s agreement. What Brian said can’t be legal or fair! It is entirely quiet as I walk back home, but the moment I shut the front door, the music starts up again...fuckers! Absolute fuckers!

DAPHNE - NEARLY MIDNIGHT

“Hey cuz, you know what we should do?”

“Wazzat?!” She hiccups, now having been relieved of Momma duty, she has followed one waiter around like a gin-seeking-missile.

“Cheer up, Daddy Stud. I think some JB would be perfect.”

“JB? Yes he likes Beam, but I think he’s easing off because of Gush...I mean Gus.”

“No, twit! Jeez, give me that!” I take the gin and swap it for a glass of water. “Drink this and focus!” She dutifully drinks and then blinks at me as if trying to convince me that she’s not as pissed as a newt! “Oh never mind... have more gin, I’ll do it myself!”

I look around and find just the person I am looking for and make my way over. “Ben, where’s JB?”

“I, uh, don’t think the waiters have it out. I think you can get a glass from the bar.” He tells me and I growl with irritation. “Oh! That JB! He snuck back into the house to check the sky. Apparently it’s supposed to be the perfect cloudy and starry moon tonight.”

“Thank you, darling!” I give him a kiss on the cheek and go find my absent friend.

BEN AND JUSTIN’S HOUSE

JUSTIN’S ROOM

DAPHNE

I sigh at what he’s doing but drool at the sight that greets me. He does have a fantastic ass, which most women would kill for! “What on earth are you doing in here?” I demand. “You could and should be outside, shaking your groove thang. They are laying down some serious toonage. I know how much you love to dance!” I point out.

“I will. I just want to get this right.” He looks sheepish and turns back to the scope. “I, once again, jolted the damn thing!”

“I thought you had…” Brian drawls from the door before he strides in, waving him away as he approaches. “Let me see here. Care to get in front so I can reciprocate the roof focus?”

“Roof focus?” I repeat and then gasp. “This? This is the guy you saved?”

“Yes.” He replies distractedly as he gets between Brian and the scope. “Shall we?”

“Oh yeah.” He replies huskily and I decide that they do not need my help.

BRIAN

“Where do you want it pointed?” I know I shouldn’t tease him, but after the toss off comment earlier, he’s fair game.

“Just above the clouds right about…” He looks out of the window and then goes still. “...you don’t need the telescope. Look at that; Brian, look at it!” He tugs my hand for emphasis and I look up from aligning.

“Christ, that’s incredible.” I murmur.

“Isn’t it?” He replies and squirms from in front of me to lean out of the window and pulls out his phone. “Can you?” He hands it back to me and I almost drop it as it is so warm from where it has been in his back pocket.

“Hot.” I whisper.

“So are you.” He grins over his shoulder then turns to face me. “Brian, take the picture and then kiss me.” I am so thrown by his assertiveness that I freeze and he takes that time to pull me gently towards him. “Take the picture. And then kiss me.” He repeats.

While I take the picture, I recover some equilibrium. Putting the phone down on the bedside table, I put my hands in his hair and pull him to stand up on his tiptoes. “I was actually talking about the warmth of your phone.” He gapes at me and goes to speak so I take that opportunity to kiss him as he ordered!

The only sound that can be heard is our breathing and then my groan as he pulls me closer to him. Oh no, little boy. I may be thoroughly enjoying myself and The Stud may have retired, but he does not get pulled about! I lift my head a fraction and he bleats a soft protest. “Bossy boots.” I murmur against his lips. “Stop pulling. Okay?” He nods and stands up higher on his tiptoes. “Well, since you asked so very nicely...”