CHAPTER 15 - NOTHING BUT A HOUSE PARTY AND ADVENTURES IN BABYSITTING
DAPHNE’S HOUSE - SATURDAY MORNING
LOUNGE
CYNTHIA
“Cuz, how many people have you invited?”
“The whole street... well up to the Red Prick House. I learned from my dorm days, if they are invited, they can’t complain!” She laughs as she puts out the empty plates.
“And you are doing what now?”
“Placing. Making sure that it looks right and there is a natural flow of booze to food to the dance area.
“You can take the girl out of the country set but you can’t, it seems, take the country set out of the girl!”
She turns slowly. “Gin is your thing, isn’t it?”
“And there she is!” I laugh as I check behind her island that she does indeed have my gin.
“So what kinda jams you laying down?” I pose a la gangsta and she just snorts and goes back to plate placing.
“Oh by the way, did you know what happened to Lindsay last night?” I shake my head. “Hmmm, neither does mom. She went round last night to open the can up and Lindsay greeted her at the door, soaking wet.”
“Define soaking and where was she wet?”
“What do….ewwwwww! As in covered from head to toe in water! Give me that gin!”
I take off running!
LINDSAY’S COTTAGE
APPRAISER
“Such a terrible thing to happen to a quaint home. Luckily, it doesn’t seem like you’ve been in long. Did the previous occupant not tell you about the rot? It should’ve been mentioned in their evaluation of the property.” Ms Peterson is looking like she wants to charge me like a bull. She is blowing hard through her nose and her eyes are flashing with annoyance.
“Mr Jones, is it?” She clips out and I nod, wondering where she is going with this snarky tone. She has clearly forgotten that I haven’t signed off on her claim. “I have lived here for the last 4 years and…”
“Ah, that’s unfortunate.” I interrupt in the same tone.
“Why?” She questions, sounding bored.
“Well, as you know when the insurance is renewed, the property is always inspected. The rot would’ve been pointed out and you would’ve been told to get it fixed.”
“No, I didn’t know that. My former partner would’ve dealt with that and…”
“Ignorance is not a defence, Ms. Peterson. You were both in residence at the time of renewal, so this will adversely affect your claim.” I retort, relishing the blanching and sudden softening of her expression. “I need to see the previous report.”
“I have no idea where that would be. I would need to speak to my now ex-partner and…”
“Then how about I leave a list of the things I need you to have prepared in time for my next visit? In the meantime, I suggest you find somewhere else to live. The smell in here is not going to improve.” I take out what I need from my briefcase and smile tightly at her. “This is the list and here is my card. Call me when you’ve got everything together. Good day.”
LINDSAY
I seethe at his indifference to my plight and just about stop myself from throwing the card across the room. Find somewhere to live indeed...what the fuck do you think I was trying to do, you imbecilic moron?! I snatch up my phone and decide to have a word with a now social climbing, Melanie Marcus!
BEN AND JUSTIN’S HOUSE - AN HOUR LATER
BEN’S BEDROOM
JUSTIN
I pull back the cover from Ben’s face and stare at him. “I am waiting for an explanation, young man.”
“There is nothing to explain. Tell me about your eye.”
“My eye is fine, which is more than can be said for your love life. What happened?” He starts to smile. “Ben? Ben!”
“Justin. Oh my god, that British accent! Benson is nice and I like him. As much as, I think, you like Brian.” I start to blush. “But something is holding you back. Is it the…”
“No. It’s not that. Well it is. I think that it’s all he wants me for… you know, to meet a need.”
“But you said you’ve kissed and slept in the same bed together.”
“And that’s it. Nothing else.” I sigh and flop back on the bed, I sit up again when I hear him start to laugh. “And what’s so funny?”
“Have you actually been in a position with Brian to have sex?”
“What do you mean in a position? Of course, we have!”
“When?” He demands, his shoulders shaking.
“Well there was the block party.”
“Which he was the host at.”
“When we made out at his house.”
“And Debs turned up and you ended up finding out about his life.”
“When that rat injured my eye.”
“And he found out about your accident.”
“And when…”
“When?” Ben prompts, sobering up a bit. “Justin, being physically available is one thing, but you two have not been physically and emotionally alone to have sex. So how about you arrange for that to happen?”
“I hate you.” I retort and fling the covers back in his face.
“I know. Now come on, we said we’d help Daph.” He snickers, getting out of bed before calling out over his shoulder. “Like tomorrow, for example.”
“What’s like tomorrow for example?” I shout back.
“Why not ask him out tomorrow?”
“As in a date-date, not a fuck-date.”
“As in, it is whatever it is you want it to be. But do something about that itch you want to scratch!”
“Again, hating you!”
EMMETT’S HOUSE - AN HOUR LATER
KITCHEN
EMMETT
I am hooting with laughter! I have just come off the phone with Louis Jones, one of my friends in the estate business. He has just had the supreme joy of knocking a hoity-toity Lindsay Peterson off her perch of pseudo beau monde after what happened in her cottage. I had a weird message from Mel last night so my first port of call is to call her.
“Mel, it’s Emmett. Have you heard from Lindsay at all? Ah, she’s left you a message, has she? Well before you call her back, seems there was a little bit of an accident in her cottage…”
MEL’S COTTAGE - 25 MINUTES LATER
LOUNGE
MEL
Annabella and Diana look up expectantly as I return, having taken the call in the kitchen. I still can’t believe that I had my first ever sleepover and I am so grateful it is Saturday! After the gallery showing, we ended up grabbing a takeaway and coming back here to watch trashy TV and compare Princess stories. I know it shouldn’t hurt, but the lies she told them about our relationship really do. It was like she was ashamed. “That was Emmett. Seems that the walls around Lindsay’s castle, or more accurately the ceiling of her lounge took the full brunt of the boiler and bathroom.”
“Such a shame.” Diana takes a measured sip of her coffee, before nonchalantly taking out her phone. “And the news just gets sadder. Seems her membership of the club was up for renewal and she didn’t get enough votes for that to happen. But she can still attend as a guest of another member.”
“Who would have her as a guest?!” I scoff.
“You.” Diana returns with a smile.
“But I’m not even a member!”
“Ah, yes you are. It seems that you’re being given a chance to prove yourself.”
“But who recommended me?”
“Daphne. And she was seconded in her recommendation by her mother. If you don’t want to accept, they would understand. But if you accept, don’t give them reason to regret it.” She fixes me with a challenging stare.
“I accept and I won’t.” I return her stare with equanimity and she starts to smile. “I understand there is the grand dinner soon? Have the Yentas come to a conclusion?”
“The Yentas say yes, but a formal date is in order prior to that.” Annabella smiles. “No overnight stays please!”
“Yes, ma’am!” I salute with a grin.
BLUE MOON HOUSE - TWO HOURS LATER
BATHROOM
BRIAN
I gently peel off his little socks and rub his tiny feet. “Now my Little Grub, daddy is going to be right back. You need some talc and you appear to have had a growth spurt in the two seconds I left you, as this is not going to fit.” I hold up the baby grow and he blows bubbles at me in agreement. “You can keep it for your son or daughter. I insist on being a grandfather, by the way.” More bubbling blowing. “Glad we are understand each other.”
I rifle through his drawers for something warm and suitable for him to wear after our shower. Finding the perfect set of PJs, I head back only to be stopped by the front door knocking. I head swiftly to the bathroom and pick him up to put him safely back in his crib. He does not look happy and his face starts to crumple. “I know Little Grub, I will get rid of them. I love our Saturday Showers too!”
As I rush downstairs, I send up a fervent prayer and it is answered when I open the door to Justin’s retreating form. “And just where do you think you are going?” I call out and he turns around with a grin. I step aside to let him in.
“Good afternoon. I was...what were you doing?” He asks somewhat breathlessly having noticed that I am not wearing a shirt. “I don’t want to interrupt you with anybody.”
“Actually, you can join us if you like. I’m sure he won’t mind.” I purr, pinning him against the wall with a look.
“Join you? Why would I do that?”
“So you can scrub his back.” I smirk. Judging by the fire in his eyes, he has got the who entirely wrong.
“No, thank you.” He replies frostily. “I wouldn’t want to interrupt your appointment. I’m so glad that you are getting that need met. It just confirms what I already suspected; that you only...”
Yep pushed it too far again!
“Little Grub and I were about to have a shower. There is nothing salacious nor does it involve a spanking. It’s just a shower. I should not have teased you like that.”
“No, you shouldn’t have.” He asserts even though he is embarrassed by his fit of pique. We just stare at each other for a few seconds. “How do you do that?” He whispers as he hooks his fingers on either side of my jeans and pulls me closer to him.
“What am I doing?” I ask, sliding my hands up so they are on either side of his head.
“Throwing me off my game.” He replies, sliding his hands up my chest to loop them around my neck. “It is very disconcerting. However, I am determined to be in charge of this situation…”
“WAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!”
“Nope!” I laugh and peel myself away from him, albeit slowly. “Little Grub is in charge and he wants his shower. You coming?”
“You were serious?” He looks surprised and doesn’t move.
“Yep, now do you need a towel?”
“No, I’ll just wait down here. I could make up his bottle for you, if you’d like?”
“Actually, that would be a great help. Thanks. Won’t be long!” I call back, taking the stairs two at a time.
I pick up a very disgruntled Gus and carry him back to the bathroom. I gently undress him and make sure the temperature is just right. As I step in with him, his crumpled expression melts off his face and he sucks happily on my shoulder. “You know what, Little Grub? I do not understand Justin. In one breath, he’s all dom and then in another, he’s confounded and confused. But oh how I want him!”
“But what do you want me for?” Justin’s voice bounces off the wall and I freeze briefly before sticking our heads out of the shower. “If you just want me for that, then I don’t think…”
“No, I don’t just want you for that. I want to get to know you and want you period. But if that happens as well, then that’s good. But if not, it’s still all good. Does that answer your question?” He looks relieved and smiles. “What are you doing up here anyway?” He is now just staring at me. Specifically below my waist. “Justin?”
“You are huge.” He whispers with a leer. “I mean I know you felt big, but wow! I am one happy bunny!”
“You are, are you?” I ask, carefully stepping out of the cubicle with a contented Gus. “Can you pass me a towel please?” Mutely, and without taking his eyes off me, he hands me the first towel he can reach. “And how do you propose I dry myself or Gus with a flannel?”
“A flan…” He looks down at his hand. “Ah yes, um here. And bottle is almost ready. Do you think...actually, give me Gus and put something on!” He laughs, reaching for him and Gus goes quietly, whereas I lean against the cubicle door. “Brian, the putting on of something needs to happen now.”
“Why?”
“Because Gus needs feeding.” He replies almost sternly.
“And you want to fuck me?” I ask and despite the nonchalant way I ask, my heart is pounding.
“Yeah, that too. Very...wait...I get to top you?”
“Uh huh.” I lick my suddenly dry lips. “But you’re right let’s get Little Grub changed and fed.”
I take Gus and give my ass a little shimmy as I walk out to get him dressed, leaving a flummoxed Justin in the bathroom.
MEL’S COTTAGE - AN HOUR LATER
LOUNGE
MEL
Sighing, I put down the magazine I was trying to read, having just said goodbye to Annabella and Diana. I was looking forward to a bit of downtime before I head over to Daphne’s party, but someone is knocking on my door. I look at my watch and wonder if it is Ems. He is going to collect me so that he can pick my brains over something...something personal that he wants to discuss with me and values my discretion - I just know I am being tested!
I open the door and find myself looking at an unimpressed Lindsay...more worrying and tellingly, an unimpressed Lindsay with a case. “Well, aren’t you going to let me in?” She bristles when I don’t move to do so.
“No…”
“You have to! It is because of you that I have nowhere to live. And besides, we have to talk about your sudden interest in the country club!” Her repeated attempts to step forward are brought to a complete halt by Ems, calling out my name with a frown on his face as he walks down the path.
“And just what is she doing here? Surely…”
“No! Definitely not! She just turned up and expects me, a la Brian, to put her up. Are you ready, Ems?”
He nods and leans against the door jamb. I am thankful for his appearance, as that means I can go and get my purse and housewarming present. Lindsay wouldn’t dare step into the cottage with him standing there...she likes her hair on her head and there has been many a time I have heard him say he would like it in his hand in clumps...freshly pulled like a drag queen in a cat fight!
“Melanie, because of your failure to inform me of the rot in the bathroom, it caused the boiler to fall through the ceiling and…”
“You were told. You were supposed to sort that out, but again you left that for me to do. Well, I didn’t do it.”
“The house is in both our names, Melanie, so you owe me half the bills for it.” She puts her case down and looks smug.
“Yes. But we have a notarized and filed agreement, which again you signed, that in return for me furnishing the place, you would pay the mortgage. It also states that in the event we should we split up, I would take what I paid for and when the property is sold, you would give me a quarter of the money.”
“Hang on a minute!” Emmett exclaims, standing straighter. “You mean to say that you put in a clause that if you two split up, the hovel as it now realistically is, had to be sold?!”
“Yes.” I reply, taking great relish in the floridness of her cheeks. “At first, I wasn’t going to enforce it because let’s face it, I don’t need the money. I saved well. But after the things I’ve heard you’ve been saying and what you’ve been doing, I feel a sharp lesson is called for. I mean you were going to tell me that you were selling the cottage...weren’t you? You know when you went to Kinnetic Estates and Emmett here disemboweled you.”
“Of course, I was going to tell you!” She blusters. “But with every…you were there?” She gasps and balls her fists. “You can’t enforce that agreement!”
“Can and will. Now go and find some rock to stay under and for the love of god, bathe! You, like your attitude, stink!”
“Because of your ineptitude, I don’t have a bathroom!” She hisses at me.
“And because I don’t like, let alone love you anymore, I don’t care!” I snap and slam the door hard and lock it.
“Oh my darling, Mel. You are passing, you are definitely passing!” Ems cackles, sticking out his elbow which I take and he leads me around her and away. “Don’t look back, Mel. Never look back!” He says loudly and I smile at her gasp of annoyance.
MICHAEL’S HOUSE - 40 MINUTES LATER
LOUNGE
MICHAEL
“Only until you get a new place?” I repeat to Lindsay and she nods. “And you will contribute to the bills and stuff? After all, you would be paying to stay in a hotel, wouldn’t you?” I smile as she nods. “Okay, so you can use that far room. And we need to do a shop. But we can do that tomorrow. Right now, we have a party to go to!”
LINDSAY
Oh don’t think for one minute, I don’t know what you are up to, Michael! But I shall let you play this feeble game. I smile brightly and head upstairs.
DAPHNE’S HOUSE - AN HOUR LATER
BACK GARDEN
BEN
“Okay so repeat to me exactly what he said again?”
“He asked if I wanted to fuck him. I said yes and then I asked if he was saying I could top him…”
“And?!” Daph demands, almost shaking him.
“He said uh-huh but he wanted to get Little Grub sorted out first.” He finishes.
“And all this time he was naked?” I can’t believe he has been this much of an idiot!
“Yes!” He goes glassy eyed at the memory.
“So why are you both here?!” Daph demands in exasperation.
“Because...oh, I am a moron! Instead of waiting upstairs for him to finish sorting out Little Grub, I....”
“Went back downstairs! You absolute pillock!” I exclaim. “You had all that building up and you’re still itching!”
“Alright! Alright! I’m going!” He declares and looks about the garden then locates Brian, looking up at the sky.
JUSTIN
You are indeed a pillock! I berate myself. Taking a deep breath, I walk over and slide my hand into the back pocket of his jeans and pull him towards me. At first, he stiffens before he looks over his shoulder and gives me a gentle smile. “So what are we doing?” He asks.
“I’m taking you home to fuck your brains out. Is that a problem for you?”
“No Sir, it isn’t. Can we please go now?” He asks, turning to face me. “As in right this very second?”
“Definitely.” I tell him and pull him out the back gate.
DAPHNE
“Thank fuck for that! I look forward to his tales of Kinney domination in every sense of the fucking…” I trail off as I see the look of horror and annoyance on Ben’s face and turn around to find Mr Red Prick and Miss No Mates behind me. He is looking appalled and she is looking smug. Mr Red Prick rushes out of the back gate, shouting Brian’s name.
She flicks her hair and steps closer to me. “Well, well, well Daphne. I do like what you have done here. I shall try to keep the aesthetics in place, but I like cleaner lines.” She smarms.
“What bullcrap are you spouting now? And why are you spouting it here in my house to where you’re not invited?!”
“I think you will find that by the time I finish talking to Brian about how damaging it would be to his reputation as the Stud of Liberty Avenue that he allows himself to be dominated, by that insipid twink, that he will agree to me moving in and you moving out! Of course, there will also be the little matter of me taking over the care of Gus as it always should’ve been since you were just the in-cu-bator, as I’ve rightly said before. I am the mother! Not that barren bellied bitch Cynthia...me!”
“What did you just say?!” A voice barks out, silencing the garden and she whirls around to face the speaker. “I asked you what you just said?!”
“And who the fuck are you?” She sneers. “I don’t believe this conversation has anything to do with you!” She snipes and jabs the woman in the chest.
“Lindsay, you need to say sorry very quickly and leave!” Ben tells her at the same time as pulling me away from her.
“I don’t have to do anything of the sort. In fact, it is her who should apologise for daring to put yourself in such a position as you have. You ingrate! You and your mother don’t have the savoir-faire that true country set people, like myself, have. You...sicken me!” She spits out.
“Oh she sickens you, does she? Ingrates, are they? Incubator, you say? Barren bellied bitch, is she?! Insipid twink, is he?!”
“Before I give you a bitch slap, Mr Musclewoman 1987, who the hell are you?!” She tosses her hair as she snipes.
“That would be Justin’s mother, Jennifer Taylor.” Ben answers and swallows as Jennifer starts to roll up her sleeves. “And she’s also the best friend to Daphne’s mom.”
“Oh and knows my mom very well.” Cynthia drawls as she comes out with her gin. “And…”
“And?” Lindsay snaps, losing some of her bravado.
“You need to start running. Because if I catch you, I am going to beat your ass, both verbally and physically!” Jennifer retorts and kicks off her shoes. “You need to start now!”
Lindsay drops her glass and runs to the gate, her dress flapping behind her, just as she goes through the gate, Jennifer slams it shut and we hear the unmistakable sound of ripping material and a hysterical scream. Jennifer opens the gate and we rush towards it just in time to see a buck naked Lindsay, running down the street!
“Oh dear…” Jennifer smirks as she drops the remains of the dress in the trash. “...I do hope she’s remembered to wax.” Fluffing out her hair, she looks around. “So where is Justin?”
“Um, finally fucking the brains out of Brian Kinney.” Ben replies, laughing.
“Brian Kinney? The one who won all that money?”
“Yes.”
“Hmmm, I shall make some extra cookies. He will need the sustenance. I’ve heard nothing but good things about the former Stud of Liberty Avenue.” She heads inside to get a drink, chuckling to herself.
“Seriously, our moms are just awesome!” I smile proudly.