CHAPTER 58 - A FEAST FOR THE EYES...WELL IT WAS! AND THE BLEAT GOES ON!
LINDSAY
“Move it! You are not going to hold up our esteemed guests! It is bad enough that you thought you were good enough to hang around longer than you should have!”
“Tell him who we are, Ma!” Michael yowls, but Debs and Carl have been taken into the next room and the door is, thankfully, closed.
“Can anyone vouch for them?” The man looks around and we wait for someone to speak. Anyone. “Like I said, with me!”
“No, I am going home!” Michael snarls and starts towards the door, but the guy pushes him back. “Get the…”
“Wait!” Wilson calls out. “I can vouch for them.” My heart comes down from my throat. “I vouch that they are despicable excrement and should be escorted out of the palace immediately!”
“Yes sir!”
“Wait a second.” Emmett’s voice is cold and hard as he stares at Michael. “You messed with our businesses, do that again and I mess with you. This, what happened here tonight, will be nothing compared…”
“Why don’t you just admit it, Brian?” Michael snipes. “You did that to me to keep me close to Ma, and therefore, close to you. Your kiddie boy is in for a rude awakening when you finally tell him the truth. As they say, the truth will win out. Does he know about the two of you?” He gestures between Brian and Wilson. I tug on Mother’s arm and we start to edge towards the door.
MICHAEL
“Which port in the delusional storm are you docking in this time?” Emmett sighs.
“Brian knows. It seems that he and…”
“So what of it?” Justin replies. “We weren’t planning on being exclusive then. We are now, he said he was good, not a patch on me of course, but good.” I look quickly at Brian, but now I can no longer read him. He is as closed as a coffin to me. “You see, Michael, you need to know the difference between fact and fiction, between a loving friendship and a loving relationship. Fiction: Wilson and Brian having sex. Fact: you and Brian never have and never will. Fact: he took me to Babylon, your place of history, and made love, not fucked, not screwed, made love to me there to tell you that the only laying with you he is going to ever do is the ghost of the friendship you destroyed…”
“I didn't! He did by changing and lying to me!” I rant, then pick up the cloak and fling it over my arm. “Come on, ladies, let’s…”
“They’re gone you twannock.” Benson growls from Ben’s embrace. “My old lady is too much of a lady to give you the pummelling you deserved, but, while I am a queen, I ain't no lady, so put that down before I cram my fist in your mouth.”
“Teen, you have guests, wanted ones, dispense with that please.” His dad calls from the door.
My face burns as the waiter I had snapped at earlier approaches with a sinister smile. “Give or I will take it from you in the same manner you demanded I leave the tray.” I hand it over and head to the door. As it is slammed shut behind me, I hear them all laughing.
“Thanks for sticking by me!” I sneer at Lindsay and her Mother.
“Michael, unlike you, I know some people in the other room! Your embarrassment factor is miniscule compared to ours!”
“All I can say is thank goodness we came in individual cars, as I can’t abide to be in your traitorous company right now!”
“What cars?” Wilson laughs. “You were brought here for the sole purpose of teaching you a lesson. It has been taught, so how you get from this residence is down to you, but you will be escorted to the road. The beasts have not been fed and are hungry.”
“Did you just call us traitorous? You! Of all people?” Lindsay bellows. “Your sole mission in life has been to become Mrs Brian Kinney, a pathetic pipe dream at the best of times, and a nightmare for everyone that you managed to ensnare into listening to you. Waterboarding would’ve been preferable!” She turns to Wilson and smiles sickeningly and I know what has just happened. “Please, can you arrange for Mother and I to be taken to collect our things?”
“Follow that gentlemen out.” He points to someone and soon it is just me and him in the hallway. “You are still here because?”
“I want to be.” I sit down and smirk at his puzzled look. “You see, I don’t believe this for one second.”
“Don’t believe what?”
“All of this! Lindsay needs to brush up on her acting skills. She was good, but too much bitchiness, pointing, and Exorcist style shrieking. You see, I am a far smarter animal.” I brush a crumb off of my outfit. “Justin has the cunning, like the little jealous fox he is. I am not sure why Lindsay colluded with him on this, as I thought she didn’t like him, but it is, like I said, a ruse.”
“Guards!” He calls out and two large men come running.
“Guards! Guards! Come quickly! Make haste! They look real enough, but those guns. I’ve seen better in an arcade. Now send them away, I am going to join my Mother.”
“How the hell have you come to that conclusion? How are you wired that you could possibly think that this is anything but real? You really don’t believe that anyone can be as cruel as you are do you?”
I shake my head piteously at him. “I am not cruel, I am honest and treat people the way they treat me...and how they deserve to be treated.” The guards look at him and then at me. “How about I help you out a bit here?” I rest my chin on my hand. “If this is real, then…” I give it some thought. “You can lead me on a collar through the banqueting hall and then send me home...naked. You won’t, because I know…” I stare him down once more.
“Strip him!” He orders so I stand up and hold my arms out like Jesus on the cross.
“Feel free to tie my hands behind my back, but be gentle boys. I bruise easily.”
DEBS AND CARL’S HOUSE - NEXT DAY, AFTERNOON
KITCHEN
CARL
I pour the coffee and wait for her to say something. Anything. She is just sitting there staring out of the window. “Debs?”
“Not just mentally.” She states, then smiles her thanks as she takes the mug.
“What’s not just mentally?”
“That he stopped growing.” She takes a sip and then rolls her lips in, just like her true son.
“It did seem to shrink a little.” I hedge, trying to gauge if she is truly upset or just trying not to laugh.
“A little? It looked like his naval had dropped into his crotch!”
I mop up the spat out coffee and can't help but laugh and nod in agreement as I remember the image of a very naked and uncooperative Michael, being dragged among the guests as he screamed at the top of his lungs for Debs and Brian to help him. “You are so right. And man has he chunked up…”
Start of flashback
DINING ROOM - PREVIOUS EVENING
I can’t believe we are here and dressed like this. Debs is talking to Vlad, and judging by the nodding and exchanging of numbers I see a proper royal visit to The Avenue in the offing.
“Where are you going to go for your honeymoon?” Micheline asks, and adjusts a gurgly Gus. “You will miss Little Grub.”
“Very much so, we haven’t gone a week without seeing him. First grandchild.” I tickle him under the chin and he smiles. “As for honeymoon, not sure, but there is so much to do after we’re married, helping Ted and Blake. It is so kind of you to offer them the summer palace.”
“It needs to be lived in…” She looks briefly and fondly at Benson. “...but he can be stubborn, gets that from both of them.”
“I think they are going to be fine, and will be fine for a long time.”
“Glamoj!” Gus burbles and gets the face.
“And that’s my cue!” I chuckle and reach for him. She looks bereft, but lets me take him. “Bathroom break, I will bring him right back.”
“Honey, you want me to…” Debs calls across, but I shake my head. She turns back to Vlad.
“But in the meantime, can you do me a favour?” She nods. “In our room there is a trinket box, it’s the gold leaf one, can you ask Wilson where I can get a copy of that made? She’s not taken her engagement ring off, said that she’s not found a box worthy of it. But when she saw that…”
“Of course. Leave it with…”
“Gaaamphhtt!” Gus exclaims.
“Leaving now!” I tell him laughing.
I just about made it to the bathroom, and now have a much happier Little Grub in his filigree PJs. Where Justin finds some of his clothes is a source of annoyance to Brian, because he won’t tell him which shops they are, they are just for them. As I carry him back to Micheline, I catch sight of his dads, who although are in different parts of the room, often look at each other and smile, and when I look down at him he is smiling too. “I just can’t imagine you not here.”
“The Empress has told me about the box.” Wilson smiles and looks across at Debs. “I will see what I can do. Do you want it as an on-the-day present or a private one?”
“A private one.”
“Good, that gives me a bit more time.” He looks at the door and nods. “Excuse me, Carl.”
“Of course. I believe someone is feeling a little Gus-starved.” I put on my best hang-dog expression as Brian beats Justin to me, but I back away from him and he holds up his hands in surrender. “Are you sure I can’t take him on honeymoon with us.”
“Absolutely sure.” Justin strokes the top of his head and gets bubbles blown. “If he is going on honeymoon with anyone it is going to be us.”
Brian doesn’t say anything to contradict him. In fact, he is just staring in the direction that Wilson went, so I turn around and really regret it. As I suspect everyone else who is looking at what has just walked in does!
“Tell me I am seeing things.” I whisper, and shield Gus’s eyes.
“Oh my God.” Justin looks queasy. “Any idea why?”
“No, but judging by the smirk on his face, he’s not realised what a bad idea this is!” Brian blinks rapidly. “Yeah, such a bad idea!”
I look at Debs and all colour has drained from her face; the dining room is silent because being led in by a dog collar is a blindfolded Michael, not only that but he is stark very small bollock naked!
“You may take off the blindfold now.” Wilson tells some guy behind him.
“Hey Justin, I have to admit that you getting us dressed…” His words die in his mouth and he looks around the room. “...who are all these people?”
“Dinner guests. Some known to your Mother, and others known to Benson and Brian.” Wilson explains. “Give me that lead.”
“Wh...what are you doing?!” He tries to step backwards but finds that path blocked.
“As you decreed we do, your Royal Highhandedness. Walkies!” He jerks the lead and Michael stumbles forward, almost but not quite landing on his knees. “Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the naked mole-rat in human form, Michael Charles Novotny! It was his idea to provide this form of entertainment for this evening, and has insisted that he is walked through the guests being petted before making his way home...as he is currently un-dressed.”
“Michael!” Debs squeals. “You are…”
“Debs, come with us.” Grace and Micheline are by her side. “Let him bask in his vaingloriousness without your presence.”
“Ma! I thought this was a joke, the outfits before...ow!” He squeals as once again Wilson jerks his lead. “Help me, make him stop!” She just shakes her head and follows them out.
“You are truly despicable!” Brian calls out and then follows Debs.
“Brian! Don’t leave me here! BRIAN! MA! BRIAN! MA!” He bellows, but the door shuts on his cries.
“Can we take pictures?!” Someone calls out.
“I don’t see why not!” Wilson replies, and this time Michael is propelled forward by the man behind him.
“Do not come to the wedding, Michael!” I bellow, and take Gus to cheer up his grandma.
End of flashback
DEBS
“You barred him from the wedding?”
“Yes, but I will unbar him if…”
“No, honey, knowing him he will just ignore you. He knew how much that meant to me, and to humiliate me like that, I just don't understand it.”
MICHAEL’S HOUSE - FORTY MINUTES LATER
MICHAEL
I am dumbfounded and blindsided. Lindsay has just left, she heard what happened last night and has told me in no uncertain terms that I am not coming to her art showing! She was incensed when I told her that I had thought she was in on the joke with Justin! I head back to the lounge to lick my considerable wounds over last night…
Start of flashback
DINING HALL - PREVIOUS EVENING
This is not happening! This is not happening! I am pulled, prodded, pinched and laughed at as I am paraded among the guests. I am near tears with humiliation, and just when I think it can't get worse it does!
“Thank goodness I didn't rent to him, is that a skid mark?!”
“Peterkin, what are you talking about?!” Emmett’s laughter filled voice calls out.
“He was going to rent my house, but when I saw who it was I tore up the lease. Can you imagine how he would leave my house if this is how he leaves himself?!”
“I can see why he has never, even when he considered it.” I turn my head when I hear Backroom Todd’s voice. “Just to stop him from humping his leg, the amount of times he came to me and sought guidance, and time and time again I told him no. At least he took my advice and went on the trip...shame he went with him…”
“And once again, Michael, the wanting to fuck you and have done part, pure fiction.” Emmett makes a retching noise and then flicks his hand. “Move that along.”
End of flashback
I drain my glass, and the picture of Ma and I on the mantel piece catches my eye and I take it down. I look at it for a brief second before taking it out of the frame and tearing it into pieces and heading to the kitchen. After I throw it in the bin, I pour myself another drink. “I am more determined than ever to ruin your day, Mrs soon-to-be Horvath. For you to not rescue me, I now know I no longer have a Mother. I have no one but me.”