Gus and JR stared at Justin with all the intensity of their youth. The last two weeks had left them hurt, confused, angry, frustrated, and in desperate need of stability. Their world, that they were perfectly content living, had disappeared in one fell swoop only two weeks ago and they were left feeling like they were standing in quicksand. They were drowning, and the one man who they thought would rescue them had failed them miserably. They had no idea why Brian had become so distant. It was almost as if he was angry at them for something they were unaware of.

Justin watched their faces and felt like crying. The pain they felt was crystal clear, but he prayed he'd be able to wipe some of it away tonight. He took a deep breath and dove in.

"Gus… JR… I need to talk to you. I need to explain some things and then you can ask me anything you want. I'll try to be as square with you as possible." Justin paused to give the kids a chance to nod their agreement. Once they had, he continued on.

"I know that you've been confused by what's happening. I'm not talking about the loss of your moms... I'm talking about the way that your dad has been acting." He waited for the kids to respond but was answered with stares that showed too many emotions to define.

He continued on. "Anyway, I think it's time I told you guys a little story and maybe that will help you to understand where Brian is coming from. I don't think that your moms ever told you much about your dad's past history, especially as a child himself. Am I right?"

Both teens nodded yes.

"Well, it's time you heard the story because his upbringing is what makes Brian who he is. Or better still, he is who he is DESPITE his upbringing." Justin emphasized that last point to make it clear that it was very important. "But sometimes his childhood creeps in and messes with his head even now."

"Brian loves you guys, you have to know that! He wants nothing but the best for you, especially now that you've lost the best thing in your lives. It kills him that this has happened to you and he'd give anything to change it. That's part of the problem. He feels helpless and Brian doesn't do helpless very well. The biggest problem is that he has convinced himself that he is not going to be enough for you guys."

With that, the teens sat forward and gave little cries of protest. Justin stopped them.

"No, listen to me. Brian's father and mother both made it very clear to him from the very beginning that he was unwanted. They were never satisfied with anything he ever did or said. He spent his entire childhood being beaten by his father and ignored by his mother. He had to turn to your grandmother, Debbie, and her family for any kind of love or affection. That's why your two dads are such close friends. Brian protected Michael from bullies and Michael provided the affectionate family Brian so desperately needed."

Justin now had their rapt attention. He continued on. "Brian loved the Novotny clan with all his heart but he trusted no one else on the planet. He was convinced that no one could love him and so he built up a wall around his heart. He wouldn't let a soul touch that heart, except for Deb and her family, for the first 30 years of his life. He became obsessed with being a success in business because it provided tangible proof that he was worth something, but he didn't know how to prove even to himself that he was worth anything emotionally."

Justin didn't bother to go into details on how Brian went about trying to prove his worth physically with his nightly visits to back rooms and bath houses.

"It took a cocky seventeen year old kid who fell in love with him to finally convince him that he was worth loving, and believe me it wasn't easy. It took years of ups and downs and joy and sorrow to break that wall down."

Justin couldn't help smiling at some of the memories of his struggles over Brian's heart and the teens were perceptive enough to pick up on it.

"Were you that kid, Justin?" Gus asked.

"I was that kid... the same age as you are now, Gus. I know your moms told you the story of how I named you. I don't know if they told you how that was the very first night I had been with your dad, too. We met and spent the evening together and that's when he got the call about you being born. Rather than ending our 'date', he took me along to the hospital and that's the night I saw you and fell in love."

Gus couldn't stop himself from laughing. "And I've had you to blame for my name ever since!" Gus replied.

"‘Fraid so, kiddo. You should have heard the other ideas for names. Anyway, the point is that now he knows how much he's loved but sometimes his insecurities about his worth can creep back up from the past and sock him in the gut. He loved Lindsay, you mom, so very much. They were the best of friends... and he cared a lot for Mel, even though they didn't always get along. Their loss hit him a lot harder than you realize. He would have been okay if he hadn't discovered that they expected him to take over the role of teacher and parent for you. It was even worse when it became obvious that he needed to be that for BOTH of you."

The wary look came into their eyes again, but Justin moved forward rapidly.

"Don't get me wrong. It isn't that he doesn't want the responsibility. It's that he is afraid he'll fail you. And that would kill him. Like I said, he only wants the best for you and he's convinced that wouldn't be him. I KNOW better. We're going to screw up sometimes and you guys are going to be royally pissed at us on occasion. I'm sure of that. But I'm also sure that we will survive and do all right as a family. We all love each other, and that will go a long way in making this thing work. Are you guys willing to give us a chance?"

The teens turned to each other. Silent words passed between them. They then rose as a unit and rushed over to Justin. JR flung herself into his lap and gave him a bear hug that belied her slender body. She had almost knocked the breath out of him. Gus leaned down and gave Justin a quick kiss on the side of the cheek that wasn't being smothered in JR's soft brown hair. He then leaned in using his long slender arms to hug both Justin and his sister. The tension that had permeated the house for such a long time began dissipating with every second that passed. The three people in the room continued to cling together as a single unit for a minute or two more and then broke apart, almost but not quite, embarrassed by their enthusiastic display of affection.

Justin cleared his throat, which had grown tight with the powerful emotions he was feeling at the moment, and stood up. He threw his arm around the waists of the teens and turned them towards the family room entryway.

"So, who is up for giving their step-dad a hand with dinner?" he queried. Two hands flew up and JR leaned up to plant another kiss on Justin's cheek. The trio walked arm in arm towards the kitchen. Thirty minutes later, the smells of baked fish fillets and tater tots filled the kitchen and JR was busy tossing a mixed Caesar salad together in a large bowl, unconsciously humming to herself. Gus was busy pouring ice into tumblers and getting the iced tea ready. Justin watched the two while waiting to remove the pans from the oven and his heart felt full for the first time in quite a while. Now all he had to do was include Brian in this family portrait.

Justin excused himself with an admonishment to keep a close eye on the fish and headed for the stairs. When he reached the door to his and Brian's bedroom, he hesitated. When he opened the door he could hear the soft sound of snoring that Brian only made when he was in a deep sleep. Justin tiptoed into the darkened room and moved to the bed. He sat on the edge and stared down at his sleeping lover. Brian looked so vulnerable with his head resting on his arm and his other arm laying across his stomach as if he was trying to protect himself. He looked so peaceful and Justin was loathe to disturb him. He would let the man get his much needed rest. They could all deal with things tomorrow. The kids were much better now and the rest of the discussion could wait a wee bit longer.

Justin rose and headed for the bathroom. He took a pee, being as quiet as he could, flushed and tiptoed back through the bedroom, heading for the door. He had just reached the doorway when he heard..."Not even a kiss to wake me from my slumber, my prince?"

"Damn, you startled me Brian! I thought you were sleeping soundly. I didn't want to wake you."

"Now, you know I can't sleep without you beside me, Sunshine. Especially when you're so close by." Even in the dark, Justin could see the brightness from Brian's teeth as he flashed a huge grin at him. Brian started sniffing the air. "Yummmm, is that some of your famous fish I smell baking, my good man?"

Justin laughed. "So now you're finally hungry for food."

"Oh, I'm hungry all right, for lots of things. But food will have to come first."

Brian sat up fully and swung his legs over the side of the bed, tapping the mattress to indicate where he wanted Justin to sit. Justin moved back to the bed and sat down next to Brian. Brian grabbed him up in his arms and planted a big kiss on Justin's willing mouth. The men were enjoying several minutes of stimulating lip action when they heard Gus's voice from downstairs.

"Hey, guys, the fish is gonna be dry as a bone if you don't get down here quick," Gus yelled up the stairs.

Brian groaned as he released his hold on Justin's hot little body. "To be continued, Sunshine," he warned Justin.

The men got up together and headed downstairs. Brian went to the dining room and helped JR finish setting the table. She looked over at him with uncharacteristic shyness when he first entered the room, but there was none of the negative attitude in her face any more.

Justin joined Gus in the kitchen and the two of them got everything ready to take to the dining room. Once everything was in place, the family of four sat down and began filling their plates. The silence was not awkward at all. Except for an occasional shy glance from JR or a patient look from Gus at Daddy Brian, everyone spent the next half hour enjoying their meal. When everyone had finished their plates, Justin started to rise to clear off the table. Brian reached over and grabbed his arm. "Justin, will you wait a minute. I have something to say," Brian started. All eyes turned to Brian. "I want to apologize first and foremost to every one of you. I know I've been a shit lately and I'm really sorry. You can ask Justin, I don't do changes very well and this is the biggest change in my life. I loved Mel and Linds and I love you guys. I was really afraid I wouldn't be able to handle giving you the life you deserve and it made me panic and act like a real asshole. I really hope you kids will forgive me and give me a second chance. I promise to do my best and you can kick my ass if I screw up too bad."

Brian got it all out as quick as he could, as if he was afraid that words would fail him if he hesitated. But now he sat back in his chair and waited for the fall out.

The kids looked at each other the same way they did when Justin had finished speaking to them. Again there was a silent communication between the siblings. Gus was the first to speak up.

We'll forgive you if you'll promise never to run out on us again, whether physical or emotional. We need you, Dad. We trust you. You take care of us and we'll take care of you." He looked over at Justin. "We'll do it together. We're a family... the real thing too."

Justin had never been more proud of Gus. When JR saw the way things were going, and the huge smiles on the faces of the men in her life, she let out a girlish shriek.

"Whoo hoo! Now that that's settled, who's for some dessert?" JR got up from the table and skipped over to Brian's chair. She gave him a sloppy kiss on his head and moved off to the kitchen. "Who wants ice cream with their pie?" she yelled back behind her.

The men looked at each other and burst out laughing. Justin looked over at Brian and the two men exchanged winks. They knew that tough times would probably be ahead of them but now they were one again... partners... parents, and they would make it. They were sure of that. Tomorrow was another day. They were finally ready to look forward, not backward any more.

To be continued....