Bewitched and Bewildered

= 3 =

Brian stood in the alley outside Babylon. The blue strobe lights passed over him from time to time. He was having what could only be described as a battle with himself. He was usually totally confident in his decisions whatever they involved, but here he was … dithering. He couldn't believe it.

He had decided to go to Babylon feeling an itch that needed to be scratched. Babylon was the ideal place to pick up a trick. It was easier than Woody's where conversation often had to be made. It wasn't as easy as the baths, but he really wasn't in the mood for that. He had been to Meathook the other day, and he wouldn't return there any time soon. So what was the problem?

The problem was who was in there dancing up a storm. He was sure a certain blond would already be inside the club. He had seen Justin in there several times now. The kid was always surrounded by admirers. They had their hands all over him. They bought him drinks which Justin seemed all too willing to accept. And then … and then they would take him to the backroom … or maybe it was that he would take them to the backroom. Brian wasn't sure which was worse.

He shuddered in spite of himself. He had watched Justin let them suck him off. He had witnessed that several times now, and each time he had wanted to rip their fucking heads off. But Justin had let them do it, had seemed to enjoy it, had even looked Brian defiantly in the eye when it was over.

That was what really got to Brian, that look of defiance. He couldn't believe that his Justin could behave like this. It was so out of character for Justin to have public sex, especially with anyone other than him, and with multiple partners in the same evening. What the fuck had come over the boy?

And more to the point, what the fuck had come over him? Why should he care what Justin did, why should he care who he was with, why should he care that Justin drank and fucked in front of everyone? Brian had no answers to his own questions. He refused to believe that he was jealous. He refused to believe that he was worried about the silly blond twat. He refused to admit that he wanted him back. But for some fucking reason he cared … he really cared what happened to Justin and he didn't like one little bit the direction that Justin's life seemed to be taking.

"Enough," he said aloud. "Go in and enjoy yourself."

"I can help you do that," said a good looking young man who passed Brian and started up the steps to Babylon. He turned and winked.

"Not my type," Brian thought, "but there will be lots of other possibilities inside."

Brian climbed the stairs to the door. He felt like he had aged twenty years since the last time he was there. He needed a drink and maybe some E and then he would be ready to party. He could do this. He would enjoy this.

Brian checked his coat and walked to the bar. He looked around the dance floor. He knew he was looking for Justin. There were a couple of blonds that he spotted but he knew they weren't Justin before he even got a look at their faces. Justin wasn't there. He breathed a sigh of relief.

He ordered a drink and looked around. Suddenly Emmett was at his elbow.

"Hey there," Emmett gushed. "Buy a fellow a cosmo."

"Sure," Brian said signaling the bartender.

"Thanks," Emmett said taking a sip of his drink. "Looking for someone in particular?" he asked noting that Brian's eyes were constantly sweeping the dance floor.

"A likely prospect," Brian said tongue in cheek.

"Is that right?"

"Why wouldn't that be right?"

"Oh, I just thought maybe you were looking for a certain blond who has been here every night this week." Emmett smiled knowingly at Brian.

Brian felt like he had just been busted, but more than that he wanted some information. "I haven't been here for a couple of days. Are you telling me that Justin's here every night?"

Emmett nodded. "And usually still here when I leave."

"Shit!"

"Somebody really ought to talk to that boy."

"Why don't you?"

"Not my problem. We all have free will."

"So why are you telling me this?"

"Just thought you might be interested."

"Well I'm not," Brian said brusquely. Justin was not his responsibility.

"Riiiiiiiight," Emmett said drawing the word out into about fifteen syllables.

"Besides he's not here tonight."

Emmett gave him another knowing look. "Sure he is. He's in his favorite spot … in the backroom."

"Fuck!"

"Probably. Ta,ta, I see someone's long hard cock calling to me." Emmett put down his empty glass and did his "Praise Jesus" move over to a man with no shirt and leather pants that left nothing to the imagination.

Brian pushed away from the bar. He knew he was going to the backroom, and it wasn't for the usual reason. He couldn't stop himself. The backroom was crowded but it didn't take Brian long to spot Justin. He was behind the blue plastic flaps. Could that be an attempt at modesty? As he drew closer he could see that Justin had the trick shoved against the wall. His dick was firmly planted up the guy's ass and he was riding him hard.

Brian felt his own cock stiffen. He couldn't drag his eyes away … he and twenty other guys who were enjoying the show as well. The trick was moaning like crazy. Brian took a step closer. He could see Justin's thick cock disappear into the man's hole and then reappear in time for the next thrust. Justin's eyes were wide open, not closed like they often were when Justin fucked him. Justin seemed to be daring the onlookers to watch, to comment, to enjoy. His mouth was slightly open and the pink lips were red like he had been kissing the guy before.

Justin grunted and grabbed the trick's hair. He yanked the man's head around and stuck his tongue into his mouth. The man whimpered and grabbed his cock. Brian could tell that the trick had just about reached his limit. Justin continued to pound into the man. With what could best be described as a roar the man shot his load all over the wall and that caused Justin to fall over the edge and fill the condom. He grunted a couple of times, made a thrust or two more and then withdrew. He quickly pulled off the condom and pulled up his pants. The trick clung to the wall.

"Me next?" a young man called to Justin.

Justin gave him a blazing smile. "Maybe later. I need a drink."

Three guys offered to buy him drinks. Justin slung his arm around one of them and they started to make their way out of the backroom. As he passed Brian, Justin had the nerve to wink.

"Justin!" Brian said forcefully. The backroom went ominously quiet. Even those in midfuck stopped to see what was going to happen.

"That's my name," Justin said turning to face his former lover. "What do you want?"

"We need to talk."

"We needed to talk weeks ago. It's too fucking late now."

Justin turned abruptly, grabbed the man who had offered the drink and continued blithely on his way.

Brian fumed. He wanted to kill Justin for being so rude and brushing him off. He wanted to castrate all the backroom bozos who stood waiting with bated breath to see what he would do. He wanted the floor to open up and swallow him.

"Don't you all have something better to do?" he asked in a voice that he knew didn't sound half as sarcastic as he wished it did.

He marched out of the backroom directly to the coat check. He retrieved his jacket and stepped out into the cold night air. He had no idea where he was going, but he had to get away from Babylon


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Justin struggled to get the key into the lock. Finally he managed it and pushed the door open. He made his way slowly towards the futon. He was almost there when he kicked a chair leg and tripped. He went sprawling onto the futon and immediately started to giggle.

"What the fuck?" Daphne said coming out of the bedroom and flipping on a light.

Now that Daphne was awake Justin burst into outright laughter. He no longer tried to stifle it.

"Are you drunk?" she asked frowning.

"Well, duh," Justin retorted which set off another gale of laughter.

Daphne looked at the clock. It was three-thirty.

"Justin, what the fuck do you think you're doing? We both have classes tomorrow. It's late."

"I'm just having a good time, Daph. I let lots of guys buy me drinks and then they blew me in the backroom."

"That's truly something to be proud of. Get undressed."

"You want to blow me too?" Justin giggled.

"No thanks. I want you to get into bed so that I can get a couple of hours of sleep before I have to get up and go to class."

"You're not much fun."

"Apparently you are," Daphne said with disapproval. "How did you get home? The buses stop running at two."

Justin giggled again. "This really cute guy had a car, so I offered to blow him if he'd drive me home."

"How enterprising of you! Justin, this has to stop. You have work and school and assignments. You can't keep staying up to all hours of the night fucking everything that moves."

"Why not? It's fun. It's exciting."

"It's becoming annoying."

"When did you get to be such a prude?"

"Since you keep interrupting my sleep. Your fun and excitement translates to my lack of sleep."

Justin stood up as Daphne continued to undress him. She had him down to his underwear as she pulled back the covers and shoved him onto the futon.

"This has to stop."

"No, it doesn't. I can have any man I want … and I like that."

"Just because you can have them, doesn't mean you have to have them. I hope you're being careful."

"Of course I am. Brian taught me…" Justin stopped abruptly. He didn't want to think about Brian.

"It seems like Brian taught you a lot of things. Now go to sleep. I don't want to hear another peep out of you."

Justin was already snoring softly as Daphne shook her head and turned off the lights. She was going to have to do something about her best friend's new lifestyle.

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Brian stood in front of the windows of the loft. He looked out at the street below. It was snowing a bit but it wouldn't hang around long by the look of it. He had come back to the loft after leaving Babylon. The urge to get his dick sucked had disappeared somewhere between seeing Justin with his cock up that guy's ass and the wink that the blond boy had so cheekily given him.

He had come home to his large empty loft … alone. He couldn't remember a time when the loft had seemed so foreign to him. He could feel how cold and forbidding it was. There was really very little of him there. He had his designer furniture but what good was that when he had no one to share it with.

He could only remember one other time when the loft had felt like this … after the bashing. He would come home to the loft sometime before dawn. He would collapse into the empty bed and hug the pillow against his body and pray for Justin to get well. Even when Justin had left him for Ethan he hadn't felt that bad. He had pushed Justin to make that decision. That had been his choice, to let the boy go and experience the romance that he so desperately wanted. He had no control over the bashing and he had no control over Justin leaving this time. Maybe that was the true significance of what had happened. He no longer had control. He was beginning to realize that Justin had that now. There was nothing he could do to make the boy come back, at least nothing that he was prepared to do.

Brian knew that he would not sleep tonight. He was way past even trying. He found the remote for the TV and switched it on. There were slim pickings at four in the morning. He actually ended up watching an infomercial telling him how he could make his fortune by buying up foreclosed properties and reselling them for millions. All he had to do was send the guy a couple hundred bucks to find out his tried and true technique. Brian snorted and shut off the TV. He climbed the stairs to the bedroom.

The bed clothes lay all in a heap where he had tossed and turned and thrown them about. He could almost picture a blond head on the pillow and a lithe, slender body with alabaster skin spread out in all its glory on Justin's side of the bed. That had been Justin's side from the first time they were together.

He remembered awaking that first morning to the alarm, and finding those guileless blue eyes staring at him. He had had trouble remembering everything from that night, but he knew that the kid had worn him out. Justin had been a virgin. Justin had learned to love sex that night … thanks to him. He had taught the boy so much about sex, about being a man, about being the best homosexual.

In a way though, other than the sex, he had really taught Justin very little. Justin knew his worth even though Brian had done his best to belittle him … at first. Then he saw the fearlessness of the little twat. He wanted Brian and nothing was going to stop him from getting him, not Mr. Goodfuck, not his fucking father, not even Brian himself. As Debbie said he had wormed his way in despite everything Brian had done to stop him.

And gradually Brian had begun to accept what was happening. Of course the road was a rocky one - the burglary of the loft, the bashing, the fucking fiddle player. And now this. He had no idea what he could do about it, but he knew something was missing from the loft now. Something was missing from his life too.

He could always replace the fuck that Justin provided, but he could never replace the enthusiasm, the body, the brain or the love. Justin had loved him, an emotion that he was all too unfamiliar with. He had denied it for a long time, pretended that Justin was too young to know what he wanted, stated that there was no such thing as love. Then Debbie had made him face the fact that maybe he did love Justin too, just maybe.

And now he had ruined it all again because he refused to give up a meaningless fuck and have the dinner that Justin had so lovingly prepared for him. He knew that wasn't the real reason for Justin leaving, but it was a prime symptom of what was wrong with their … relationship … or lack thereof.

What the fuck was he going to do?

He threw himself down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. He would rest for the next hour or two and then go into work early. Maybe that would take his mind off blond hair and blue eyes and a warm, caring touch.