Bewitched and Bewildered

= 6 =

Brian slid back the loft door and pushed his blond trick inside. It had been a few days since he had had a decent fuck, thanks to that little twat Justin. He had gone to Babylon tonight to see if Justin had changed his ways at all since their talk. He should have known better. If anything Justin was worse than ever. What Justin saw in that idiot, Ray, was beyond comprehension. They had put on quite a show in the backroom though.

"Take your clothes off," Brian ordered the trick. "The bedroom's up there."

The man began unbuttoning his shirt as he climbed the steps. Brian went to the fridge to get a bottle of water.

His thoughts returned to Justin on his knees sucking Ray off. Usually it was Justin getting the blowjob not giving it. He wondered why this time had been different. Ray had shrieked like a girl. Brian snorted. Actually he could identify. Justin had made him want to do that many times, but thank God for his world renowned self control. He had whimpered and moaned but never resorted to shrieking like that. He shook his head. He was going to have to do something more to catch Justin's attention if he wanted to get anywhere with the boy.

"I'm ready," a voice called from the bedroom.

Brian shoved his thoughts aside, pulled off his wifebeater and made his way up the stairs. He was horny and he was going to do something about it right now. He just hoped he could keep the image of another blond out of his head while he fucked this one senseless.

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Justin groaned as he felt hands pulling him back and forth.

"Wha'?" he managed to get out.

"Wake the fuck up, Justin!" Daphne told him. "It's two in the afternoon. You've missed all your classes today. I told you to get up before I left this morning."

"Ummmm," Justin moaned. He felt like crap, probably because of whatever shit Ray had bought for them last night at Babylon. They had hooked up for the last three nights and Ray was always willing to buy whatever Justin wanted. He always got a reward in return.

"Get up!" Daphne ordered.

"Don't want to," Justin said rolling over and turning his back to her.

"Justin, if you don't stop this idiotic lifestyle and start acting sensibly, I'm going to have to kick you out of here."

"You're kidding, right?" Justin asked rubbing his eyes and rolling back to face her.

"I mean it. Enough is enough."

"Well, fuck you, Daph! I'll move in with Ray … or somebody else that wants me."

"I want you, Justin, but not like this. I don't even know who you are anymore."

"Sometimes I don't know who I am either," Justin admitted being honest for the first time in a long time.

Daphne was surprised at Justin's confession. "Then why are you doing this?" Daphne asked in bewilderment.

Justin sighed. "I felt like I needed to take control. I wanted to be the one to choose who I would be with and what would happen. I liked the power of it."

"There's a difference between taking control and being out of control," Daphne said softly. She so wanted Justin to hear her. She had to get through to him, but she didn't want him to tune her out like he had been doing for weeks now.

"I … know. I guess I got a little carried away with it all," Justin admitted. "I don't really want to move in with someone else."

"What about the fantastic Ray that you keep chirping about?"

"I don't chirp," Justin said with a grimace. "Do I?"

"Sometimes. He sounds like a bit of an ass. He shouldn't be encouraging you to drink and do drugs."

"He's not exactly encouraging me. If I ask him, he'll get them for me."

"And that's a good thing?"

"Maybe not, but at the time…" Justin didn't finish that thought. He felt pretty crappy. Deep down he knew Daphne was right. If he was having so much fun he shouldn't feel like hell.

Daphne sat on the edge of the bed and wrapped her arms around Justin. He leaned his head on her shoulder and wanted to cry. His life was a piece of shit.

The buzzer indicating someone was at the door interrupted their tender moment.

"I wonder who that could be?" Daphne said releasing Justin and heading to the door. She opened it to reveal a courier. He handed her an envelope and she signed for it. She closed the door as she read who it was addressed to. "This is for you," she said handing it to Justin.

He stared at it and then ripped it open. It was a CD - Rod Stewart's "The Great American Songbook Volume II". Attached was a post-it note saying, "Play Track 4, R.A. - Your friend".

"What is it?" Daphne asked as Justin continued to stare at the note.

"It says to play Track 4." Daphne took the CD and popped it in. She hit four. "Why would Ray send me this Rod Stewart album?" Justin asked in bewilderment. This wasn't something he would choose to listen to.

"It's a duet with Cher," Daphne said reading the notes on the back of the CD. "Listen."

The song began and the very distinctive voices of Rod and Cher filled the apartment. The words were old fashioned, about brandy and Bromo Seltzer, about men not being a new sensation.

Justin frowned wondering what this was supposed to mean. Then the chorus began. "I'm wild again, beguiled again, a simpering, whimpering child again." Justin froze. "Shut it off, Daph," he ordered as the words "Bewitched, bothered and bewildered" played on.

"No," Daphne said. "Listen." Somehow she knew this was important.

"Couldn't sleep, wouldn't sleep, lost my heart, my mistake," the song continued. Justin picked up on the words that hit home.

"I'll sing to him, cling to him, and worship the trousers that cling to him," the song went on. They both laughed out loud at that line.

"Someone knows you well," Daphne said with a grin.

Justin stuck out his tongue at her and then continued to listen.

"When he talks, he's seeking words to get off his chest. Horizontally speaking, she's at her very best." They laughed again. "We've seen a lot, I mean a lot and now we're like sweet seventeen a lot." Justin sucked in a breath at the word seventeen. Was that a coincidence?

"We're vexed again, perplexed again. Thank God we can be oversexed again." And the song ended with bewitched, bothered and bewildered once again.

When it was over Daphne shut off the CD player. "What do you suppose it means?" she asked.

"Especially the oversexed part," Justin chuckled. "I don't know what it means," Justin said truthfully.

"Who sent it?"

"Ray," Justin said handing her the post-it note. "But why would he send me something like that. It doesn't sound like him."

Daphne read the note. Something struck her immediately. "Why do you think Ray sent this to you?"

"It's signed R.A. That's his initials."

"Really?" Daphne asked. "What's his last name?"

"I … I don't know. I just know he's Ray."

"Then how do you know it's from him. His last name might not even start with 'A'."

"But … who else could it be?" Justin asked with a frown.

"HRA."

"What? What did you say?" Justin asked with a look of panic on his face. "Brian? It couldn't be. He doesn't even know about HRA."

"Oops," Daphne said with a sheepish grin.

"You told him? When?"

"I … um … went to see him a few days ago. I was worried about you."

"I'm going to strangle you, Daph," Justin said but without much conviction. He was interested that Daphne had gone to see Brian. He wanted to know what had happened. "So how did HRA happen to come up in the conversation?"

"He made me mad."

"And you called him His Royal Assholeness?"

"No, not exactly. I mumbled HRA because that's how he was acting." Justin raised his eyebrows like that went without saying. "He overheard me and I told him."

Justin giggled. "What did he do?"

"He laughed. He actually thought it was funny. I think he's been called an asshole so many times that he takes it as a compliment. He also liked being given a 'Royal' title."

"He would."

"I thought he'd be really mad when I told him."

"He always manages to surprise you," Justin said knowing that from personal experience. "What did you talk to him about?"

"You."

"Well, duh. I know that, but what happened?"

"He told me that you wouldn't listen to him, that you kept telling him to piss off. I told him to make you listen. I think this is his way of starting up a dialogue."

"That and the chocolate."

"He sent that too. Wow!"

"Yeah, it's very out of character for him."

"I know he was very worried about you, Justin, just like I am."

"I'm sorry to worry you. I … I'm going to cut back on Babylon."

"Good, and you should talk to Brian."

"Why? What good will that do? He'll never change and I don't want to be with him if he's tricking all the time."

"He sent you these things and you said it was out of character for him. Don't you think maybe that means that he's trying to change, at least a little?"

"I doubt it," Justin said some of the old defiance creeping into his voice. "I don't know what he thinks he's doing, if it actually is him sending this stuff."

"Is there anything on the envelope that might tell us more?" Daphne asked.

Justin handed her the envelope and she examined it for a minute. She shook her head and then looked inside. "There's a paper in here," she said pulling it out. She handed it to him.

It was a typewritten note saying that if he liked Track 4, he should listen to the rest of the album and see if it told him anything.

"Are you game?" Justin asked.

Daphne hit the play button and the old romantic songs began. Justin listened to them all wondering if Brian could have possibly been the one to send him such a sappy, mushy, totally romantic, unbelievably sweet album. He felt his anger melting with each successive song. It started with "Time after Time" and ended with "Our Love is Here to Stay". Justin kept shaking his head with each new song wanting to believe the sentiments that they expressed. More than that he wanted to believe that it was Brian telling him all these things.

He asked Daphne to play one track over again. It was called "My Heart Stood Still". It talked about laughing at lovers and having a heart of ice. Then the singer saw someone and his heart stood still. That was what had happened to Justin that night under the streetlamp. He wondered if maybe for a second that had happened to Brian too. This had certainly given him a lot to think about.

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Brian walked into the mall. He hated this fucking place much preferring boutiques that catered to upscale clientele. Unfortunately there was no boutique that he knew of that could provide what he needed. He walked briskly down the mall hoping he could find the fucking store and get out of there in a hurry.

Finally he saw it. He could feel his jaw clamp shut and his teeth start to grind. He took a deep breath and stepped into the Hallmark store. It would soon be Valentine's Day and he was immediately bombarded with all the red streamers and hearts everywhere and fucking cupids hanging from the ceiling.

"Fuck!" he muttered to himself. This was everything he despised.

Someone gave him a dirty look and he glared back at them daring them to say something. Luckily for them they quickly left the store.

Brian made his way along the rows of cards. He might as well get one for Valentine's Day. By the time he mailed it and a certain someone received it, it would be February the 14th. Jesus, he hated this so called holiday. All it was was an excuse to make people spend money on stupid romantic crap in the hopes of getting lucky for one night. Heteros were pathetic and here he was in hetero heaven buying into the whole fucking idea. Justin fucking better appreciate this.

Brian picked up the first card he saw. He wanted to puke when he read the sickeningly sweet sentiment inside. He couldn't do it. He just couldn't buy one of these.

"May I help you, sir?" a female sales clerk asked.

Brian was about to tell her to fuck off when he realized that maybe she could do some of the grunt work for him if he told her what kind of card he wanted. "Do you have any Valentine's cards that aren't so … saccharine?" He had chosen the least offensive word he could think of to describe what he didn't want.

"Women tend to like saccharine," the bitch told him. "But we do have some humorous ones over here."

Brian considered for a moment. Humorous would be better but that wasn't what he wanted to convey to Justin. "No," he said. "No, I want romantic but not … sickening."

"Oh?" the woman said apparently pleased that he didn't want a humorous card. "These might be more what you're looking for," she said moving him down the aisle a little farther. "Check these," she said walking away.

He picked up the first card he noticed. It had a huge red heart on the front. Inside it said:

You mean everything to me

Be my Valentine

Life is nothing without you

Brian almost gagged. He could no more send that to Justin than he could declare his undying love. He turned to leave. There was nothing in this God forsaken place that he could stomach.

"Didn't like those either?" the same clerk asked.

"No," he replied curtly turning away.

"Wait. Maybe you're looking in the wrong place," she said. "What do you want the card to say?"

Brian hesitated. "That I miss someone," he finally said staring into her eyes and daring her to question him further.

"Oh," she said. "Try these." She led him further into the store where there were heart shaped balloons and scented candles and pictures of happy hetero couples in frames with hearts all over them. He wanted to throw up. This was too much.

"Here," she said pointing to a section.

"I don't think so," he said.

"Just look at one or two," she ordered and marched away.

He muttered some obscenities to himself drawing some more disapproving looks. He lifted up the first card and almost cried out in disbelief. It said almost exactly what he wanted. He headed to the desk wanting to get out of there as quickly as he could.

"I see you found something," the same clerk said taking his money. "It always pays to be persistent."

"Yeah," Brian said grabbing the bag and getting out of the fucking place before he had a severe attack of indigestion. Justin better fucking appreciate this card when he got it.