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Author's Chapter Notes:

It might seem like there's a bit of Anti, but it's only a small amount.

BRIAN

 

I sat watching him, knowing today was goodbye for a few weeks. There were times when I wanted to tell him we didn't need to keep doing this, that I could deal with the shit having him in my life permanently would bring. In the end, we'd part ways the way we have since we met, not that it was what I wanted.

 

Sometimes I want to scream at him, because he acts like it doesn't matter that we won't see each other for long periods of times. Then I have to wonder why it's me that it bothers, when he was giving me everything I tell everyone I want; freedom to do what I want and not answer to anyone for what I do. Only now it's no longer what I want. I want all the things that come from relationships, even if I'm not sure if I can live with monogamy. It's not even something he cares about, and told me it's because he never knows where he'll be from one week to the next. He loves being able to pick up and go somewhere without worrying about anyone, which was his way of telling me that he didn't need me questioning him when he wasn't around.

 

The truth is he turned my world upside down the minute I met him.

 

In my world, people didn't question me or what I told people I wanted. They did what they were told and disappeared when I wanted them to. Only, Justin was different. He stood up to me and continued to do what he wanted. I ended up firing him. And his answer was to tell me good luck finding anyone who could do what he did. I looked at his ass as he walked out of the room without a care in the world. Even the fact that I could blacklist him from working didn't make him flinch. It made me follow him to the temporary office he was using and threaten to take away any chance he had of working in Advertising again. It was low, but I didn't know what to make of him not fearing my wrath the way everyone else did.

 

"I only agreed to help you out because I was curious about you," He told me, shrugging and acting like I should be the one begging him not to go.

 

"In this game, you either do what I say or you're out," I responded.

 

"Then, since I'm already out, I guess it won't matter if I do this," He said, as he grabbed the back of my head and covered my lips with his, licking the seams of my lips until I opened my mouth, groaning into the kiss I'd been dreaming about since the moment I first saw his lips.

 

He pushed me back against the door, closing and locking it. I barely registered anything until he backed away, pulling off his shirt. Then I watched him as he revealed the body I'd been trying to imagine in my head when he lounged on the couch, drawing during meetings with the team. I stood still as he started to undress me.

 

"I don't fuck in my office," I said, which was ridiculous when I was helping him remove my pants.

 

"Then I guess it's good that we're in mine," He answered, kissing down my chest before swallowing me without stopping.

 

For the next hour, it was a blur of motion. Him pushing me on the couch, following me down. Never letting my cock leave the heaven of his mouth, then pushing my legs apart and rimming me until I saw stars. There was that one moment before I felt him sliding into me that I almost told him to stop, but didn't. I'd never let anyone top me, but didn't stop him. It made me wonder why I thought being the top was important. He showed me why some men never wanted to do more than bottom, as I saw stars before he came. Only, like me, he could keep going, but proved he was versatile when he slid a condom on my still hard cock and then practically made me cum again, watching him finger himself open. He wasn't shy about enjoying it and the noises he made had me praying that I didn't, for the first time in my life, embarrass myself when he slid his ass down my cock. He was tight and I was satisfied to see that taking all of me wasn't easy for him.

 

Justin rode me, searching for his next orgasm. It was like he knew that he didn't have to worry about me, which he didn't, since what he was doing was working for me too. He came all over my chest as I finished inside him. Then, as if nothing had happened, he got up and got dressed while I watched him. After he was done, he walked over to where I was, still lying there naked and hard, smiled, kissed me one more time, and walked out, closing the door.

 

I spent the next couple of days waiting for him to come back, or call. It was normal for me to have men begging for a repeat. Only, there was nothing, which had me trying to quiz my assistant about him. Cynthia and Justin had developed a strange friendship. One that I was thankful for because she was always happy to remind me of my mistake by losing my temper with Justin. The changes he told me to do were the ones I decided he was wrong about. I'd relied on the fact that most clients kissed my ass because I delivered. Only this time, the client wasn't happy with the direction I went. Justin knew and tried to tell me they wouldn't like the implication of sex, being as conservative as they were. He even agreed that the campaign they would agree to wouldn't make them nearly what my idea did, but in the end they were worried about backlash from the public in selling their product with the sexual connotation. I didn't get what they expected when the product was pretty much - sex. I mean a knock off of Viagra, come on. Which made sense, but as far as I was concerned they knew who they were coming to when they contacted me. Only, instead of telling them it was this campaign or they could go somewhere else, I warned them the idea they wanted wasn't going to get them the profits they wanted. We ended up redoing everything to please them. And like I told them, their product got lost in among all the others by going safe.

 

A week later, just as Justin yelled at me right before he was fired, the client came back, telling me they wanted both campaigns; one to run during the day and one for late at night when the people who disapproved during the day were willing to admit they wanted the promise they saw in the dark of night. For the first time in my career I had to admit someone else understood what the client would do better than I did. The truth was also that I couldn't get what we did together out of my mind. It wasn't like sex wasn't always good before, but somehow it was better with him. I've never been one to deny myself, so I waited until Cynthia left her phone on her desk and got Justin's new number from her. The shit changed it, just to make it harder on me. How did I know this? I tried the number we had on file, not that anyone will ever know that one.

 

Justin answered, sounding like he just woke up, and promptly told me thanks for letting him know he was right, before hanging up on me. I called again and told him we should meet up, since I owed him one for keeping me from telling the client they were wrong. His answer was to tell me to come to his apartment. We ended up spending the rest of the day trying to fuck ourselves into a coma. I left like I always do, and once again didn't hear a word from him. When I went back to his place, he was gone. I finally asked Cynthia where he was, ‘apparently his sister thought Italy would be fun', was her answer.

 

"And that means what as to where Justin is?" I asked her.

 

"It means that Justin took off to hang out with her for a couple of weeks. Jesus Brian, did you even bother to ask about him the whole time he worked with us?" She asked.

 

"That's why I have you and Ted," I told her.

 

"Justin didn't need to work here or anywhere else. He just wanted something to do while he was here checking on a friend," She told me.

 

"Who?" I asked, almost sounding jealous that he had friends.

 

"Wow, you really don't pay attention do you? Ben Bruckner. You know, Whine boy Novotny's 'too good for him' husband," She told me.

 

"He's been bitching about some friend taking Ben's time, but he bitches a lot so I tend to tune it out," I told her.

 

"Well Justin is the friend, but he decided to go when Ben and Michael started fighting about Ben spending too much time with him," She told me.

 

"I've never seen Justin out with Ben," I told her.

 

"They usually go somewhere else, since Michael practically foams at the mouth when Ben brings up Justin," Ted told me.

 

"You knew too?" I asked.

 

"Yeah, but you never really asked," He answered.

 

"Why do you care anyway? It's not like you didn't fire him," Cynthia rubbed in.

 

"I don't," I told them, walking off.

 

Ted called my office a couple of hours later and told me everyone wanted to meet at Woody's and I asked if Ben was coming, which Ted didn't question, just let me know he was. I agreed to go, figuring I could question Ben. When I arrived, as usual having every eye in the room following me, I ignored them all, zeroing in on Ben, who had Michael practically trying to swallow him on his lap. It actually made me happy to see that, because Michael was no longer trying to use me to piss off Ben. I can honestly say I'm probably happier than Ben is about Michael no longer looking to me to run his life. It also made it easier on Ben and I to be in the same room, since Michael now treats me like a brother and not the next love of his life.

 

"I didn't know you and Justin were friends," I said, as soon as I sat down.

 

"Who?" Emmett asked, eyeing a bear at the bar.

 

"Good God, he finally left, can we not talk about him," Michael whined.

 

"Michael, I've told you a hundred times we're just friends and nothing more. If you would have given him a chance you probably would have liked him," Ben told him.

 

"I don't care what you say, he wanted you and I didn't like it," Michael scowled.

 

"WHO?" Emmett yelled, paying attention now that there was gossip.

 

"Justin Taylor, Mr Perfect. Who Ben couldn't stop talking about the minute he came to town," Michael answered sarcastically.

 

"Oh that guy. Really Michael, they were just hanging out. I kept telling you that," Emmett reminded him. "Why are you asking about him?" Emmett asked, sniffing around like there was something he didn't know.

 

"He worked for me, and I found out that apparently he knew Ben," I told them, which made sense now, if I'd been listening instead of ignoring Michael's complaints that Ben was always running around with someone else.

 

"Why would he be working for you? From what Ben told me, the kid is like, loaded. Apparently he only came here because he wanted to monopolize Ben's time," Michael told me.

 

"He's also a genius and a sought after artist. Brian was lucky he wanted something to do while he was here," Ben told him.

 

"Which he was doing, until Brian fired him for standing up to him," Ted told everyone.

 

"Thank you for helping him move on, otherwise I'd end up having to sit around while MY HUSBAND was entertaining him," Michael commented.

 


"No more than I did when you would take off after Brian," Ben reminded him.

 

"That's different. If I didn't watch out for Brian then he'd end up in trouble like always," Michael told everyone at the bar.

 

"Do you know where he went?" I asked Ben, because all Cynthia would say was Italy which didn't help me.

 

"His sister wanted him to hang out with her while she did the shows in Milan," Ben told me.

 

"What does she do?" Emmett asked.

 

"She models. But also assists when the designers ask. She wants to quit modeling and work for Armani full time. It's why she wanted Justin to come, to support her when she fires her father. Craig is what you would call a Stage Dad and likes the money he makes off of his daughter. Molly can't stand up to him, but Justin can," Ben told us.

 

"She needs to stop depending on her brother and face her father," I answered.

 

"Justin won't let her, because he knows what's it like when his father doesn't like what he hears. He doesn't want Molly to deal with the whole family treating her like they treated him. So he's making sure they blame him for what Molly wants," Ben told me.

 

"So, she still gets to have a family and Justin doesn't?" I asked, not liking the sister for making Justin the fall guy for her wants.

 

"He won't ever be a part of the family anyway, so he really doesn't lose as much as she will. Craig controls everything, including the money that Molly makes. Only, she's now eighteen and needs Justin to help her get control of her life. She isn't asking anything of him that he wouldn't do anyway, so don't get angry about it," Ben told me.

 

"Are you interested in him?" Michael asked, actually sounding happy.

 

"I owe him an apology for acting like an asshole, that's all," I told him, which bizarrely enough Michael sees through.

 

"Then go after him. That way he'll leave Ben alone," Michael told me.

 

"Um, we are talking about Brian, you know he doesn't go after anyone," Emmett commented, and I ignored.

 

My phone alerted me to a text. "Want to watch the new spring line with me?"

 

"Yes," was my reply. The next alert was to inform me that he sent me a ticket to Italy for tomorrow.

 

I got up to leave and Ben dumped Michael into a chair, following me.

 

"Brian, look, normally I wouldn't say anything, but Justin isn't really good with relationships. In fact, anytime he's been in one he's usually finding a reason he needs to be somewhere else," He said.

 

"Are you actually warning me?" I asked.

 

"Yes. Because you don't know him and I don't think he can give you what you want," Ben told me.

 

"What do you think I want?" I asked.

 

"Something you never did before. Just be careful, I don't want you to get hurt," He told me.

 

"Why do you think I want anything more than I ever have before?" I asked.

 

"You asked about him and listened, something you rarely do. Don't get me wrong, I want Justin to find someone, but he needs someone who wants just him," Ben told me.

 

"Right now I can't tell you it will be me, just that I want to see why I still want him," I answered.

 

"Then think of him like you, and don't do the things that make you walk away," He commented, going back to Michael.

 

I left the next morning and spent the week with Justin. Molly came around, but I still didn't like that it felt like she was using him so she could have it all. When the week was over Justin told me he was off to Greece to see some friends and didn't invite me, just assumed it was understood I would go. It wasn't pleasant to be treated like a trick, but I didn't push it. Instead I came home to Michael hoping that I made it so Justin would want to stay far away from Pittsburgh and Ben.

 

After that, Justin would randomly send me tickets to where he was, and like a moron, I went, only to be left as he flitted off to somewhere else. It wasn't until this latest trip that I knew something was different with him. He asked me to come instead of just sending a ticket. Only, the minute I arrived, he distracted me with sex and then made it so we didn't spend any time alone. So I couldn't ask why he wanted to see me. It was my last day, he left the bed and sat on the beach alone, putting out the signal that he didn't want me near him. It's what he did every time it was time for me to leave. Only this time I was tired of the dance and wanted more. I knew we were either over or he'd agree to stop this pulling and pushing he did. I called Cynthia, telling her I wasn't sure when I was coming back because if Justin pushed again I didn't know what I would do.

 

He got up and walked towards me, smiling the way he does when he really isn't happy. "Are you ready?" He asked.

 

"No. Not until you tell me why you wanted me to come here," I told him.

 

"Shit. I don't know how to tell you," He said, falling into a chair.

 

"You want to break up?" I asked.

 

"Is that even possible? It's not like we defined what we've been doing," He commented, avoiding whatever it is he wanted to tell me.

 

"I call it a relationship, since we've been doing this for over a year. It's time we decided exactly where this is going, because I'm no longer going to show up unless you commit to this," I told him.

 

"It's what I wanted to talk to you about," He told me, looking down at the beach.

 

"If you want to end it, just fucking say it!" I shouted at him, losing control.

 

"I don't. I'm just not sure how your going to feel about what I need to tell you," He told me, looking down at the ground.

 

"Then tell me and stop acting like I'm going to get pissed at you," I answered.

 

"Fine. I'm pregnant!" He yelled.

 

Justin looked like he wanted to run the minute the words came out. All I could think was, ‘finally something I could use to hold on to him'.

 

"Are you okay about this?" I asked, worried that maybe he didn't want the baby.

 

"Everything's good as far as I'm concerned, but how do you feel about it?" He asked.

 

"You were worried I wouldn't want the baby?" I asked, confused.

 

"Ben told me you really don't have a lot to do with your son, so I guess I didn't think you'd want one with me," He answered.

 

"Did Ben also tell you that when my son's mothers want something, it's the only time I get to see him?" I asked.

 

"No. He just said you haven't really spent time with your son. You don't even have pictures of him or talk about him," Justin told me.

 

"It made it easier for me. I want to be with him, but I also don't have any rights to him. His name is Gus and everytime I do get to see him, it gets harder to walk away. Only I have to, because I don't want him in the middle of a war that's about me and Mel, his mother's wife," I told him.

 

"Why would they care if he had you in his life?" Justin asked.

 

"Because my life wasn't exactly home and garden. When he was born I was barely there, and when I was, Mel and I couldn't get along. Lindsay tried, but in the end, she reminded me I promised to give Gus up to them. When they had problems, I didn't help by trying to be with Gus, which meant supporting Lindsay against Mel. Mel moved them away after she had Michael's daughter, still allowing Michael and Ben to see Jenny but limiting my time with Gus. In the last year Gus stopped taking my calls," I told him.

 

"This baby won't replace Gus," He told me.

 

"I don't want that, but I do want the baby. I want you too, but not if we have to continue like this," I told him.

 

"You want me to move back to Pittsburgh?" He asked.

 

"I want us to be together. Is there some reason you don't want to live in Pittsburgh?" I asked, realizing we never talked about his life beyond what I knew.

 

"Pittsburgh isn't the problem," He told me.

 

"Then what is?" I asked.

 

"My family. They pretty much don't want me to stay around and embarrass them," He answered.

 

"It's a big city, and if they have a problem, than we'll deal with them together," I told him.

 

"I might have already bought a house," He admitted.

 

"You were planning on coming back. Why didn't you just tell me?" I asked.

 

"If you didn't want us then I was going to sell it and not tell you," He answered.

 

"You belong with me," I told him.

 

Chapter End Notes:

I know I still have other stories to finish and now that work is letting up on me, I'll be able to do that as well as the ones I'm on. Hopefully you'll forgive me for posting yet another one. LOL

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