Brian's POV:

Okay, Kinney, you proved you were right. Are you fucking proud of yourself. You knew the damned kid would get tired of you sooner or later. It was just a matter of time. But he's so fucking loyal...he never would have taken that final step if you hadn't pushed him. You just HAD to make him see what he really wanted and give him a reason to go for it. And what he wanted, you can't...hell no, you won't give him. You won't give that to anyone. You let someone know you love them and they have power over you for the rest of your life. Playing Solitaire is a lot safer. You can cheat if you want, quit when you want, and make up any damned fucking rules you want. Let someone else in the mix, and you lose control.

Let's face it, that blond twink made you lose control. Which just proves I was right in the first place. But I've got it back now. And Solitaire's the only game in town from now on. He can go off with his magic fiddler. I'll be running my own show from now on, and with my rules. I really hope he'll be happy. Okay, I admit it. I like the kid...and no he isn't really a twink. Might have been once, but with his brains and heart he figured out how to be one hell of a great queer. The best really, thanks to some great tutoring by yours truly. And now some greasy little nothing gets to enjoy the fruits of my labor. Well, fuck it! Tomorrow's another day and there will be plenty more fuckers for me to enjoy. I just hope Justin doesn't disappear for good. He is kind of interesting to talk to and worth listening to.

*********************************

Okay, this was a shitty day. First I have to deal with the pitying stares of the gang at the diner, especially when Justin walked in to go to work (damn, he looked good this morning) and then I come home for peace and quiet after a long day at work and there's just a little TOO much peace and quiet. Funny, I never noticed the echo sound from my empty loft when I slid my door closed before. And the place seems a little colder than usual. Have to talk to the super about that.

And then I could see that Justin had already been there. The little fart used his keys to take out everything that belonged to him...well almost everything. There was that stupid sock he missed. I'll give it back to him next time I see him. And that fucking drawing of Rage carrying JT. Well fuck Rage...and fuck Justin. The drawing ended up in the trash where it belonged. But wait...he didn't take the computer. Love the way Mikey is always hinting that Justin was using me. Would he have left his precious computer behind if he was using me? Let's face it, the kid has pride. He always gave as much as he took. Fuck Mikey's opinion. Note to self: get my key back from Justin...sometime.

And then came the icing on the cake. I agreed to walk in the park with Linds and she berates me for letting Justin go. Letting him go...like I had him in a cage or something. Give me a big fat fucking break. Even she doesn't get it. I want Justin to be happy...hell of a lot more than any of them do. I didn't let him go, I just stood back and let him make his own choice. Goddammit, why can't they respect that? Well, who gives a shit, as long as Justin is happy.

***************************************

Well thank you Mikey...thank you very much! You have officially reduced me to being the same kind of shit as the old man. Goddammit, you'd think you would be satisfied with having more of my time. Isn't that what you always wanted? I'm going out with you more than ever, and this is how you repay me, you son of a bitch. You make me so angry that I sucker punched you. I gave you several warnings to stop. Why the hell did you have to say that...about him? If he had died, do you even have a clue what that would have done to me? Do you really care? It was my fault, you know. If I hadn't wanted to see him so bad that night, he never would have been bashed. And then you had to be a shit. Okay, I know you're protective of me, but what you said about Justin was fucked. Even Debbie would have slapped you if she'd heard. Now I'm going to have to apologize and will, but I'm not letting you off the hook either, you little shit. And you'd better watch your mouth when you talk about him again.

And when I got to the Lindsay's party, it had started out pretty damned good. All I needed was a piss and there he was, that beautiful cock of his dangling in the air. For one brief instant it was like old times, our two pricks side by side. I have to admit, it gave me a perverse sense of humor the way he blushed and tried to hurry his stream so he could zip up. Come on, you know you still affect him Kinney...just a little. I was proud of myself though. I told him that I hoped he'd get what he wants. Not sure if he believed me. It's true though, even if it isn't with me. Really!

**************************************

Okay, I apologized to Mikey. At least the little shit had the decency to admit he deserved getting punched. He did, but I still wish I hadn't sunk to Jack's level. Got to watch that. In parting I really tried to open the door to a reconciliation between Justin and Mikey. They can make money off Rage. Hope they listen to me.

Mikey wanted to have a make up meal at the diner, but I said no just so I could sit at home and wait for the first fucker I've ever paid to come to me. At least the fucker didn't disappoint. He had a good ass and he really did look a lot like Sunshine...from the back. Didn't smell like him though. Didn't feel quite right either. Goddammit! I've got to shake this thing. I have to let go. He's gone. End of story. I was right. Falling in love is stupid...too painful. Not that I was actually in love...but I miss him. Okay, I said it. Now get over it Kinney....he has.

*****************************************

Okay, that's it. I was fucking the shit out of this damned twink and I couldn't stop picturing Justin under me. Enough is enough. All I want is myself back. That is the last goddamn time I think of him when I'm getting my rocks off. I promise, and I always keep my promises. I'll be satisfied with seeing him once in a while and knowing he's doing okay, like at the diner this morning. I was kind of proud of Mikey. He did, at least, make an effort to get Rage back on track with Justin. Justin's obviously not ready yet. He's smart, though. He'll come around. Damn, but he looked good. I do have good taste, don't I.

And what is it with Mikey. I offer to spend more and more time with him and he turns me down now. Okay, so it's because he doesn't want to lose the Professor. I can respect that.

**************************************

I found out Justin's tuition for the next semester wasn't getting paid. His piece of shit Father refuses to pay it and he can't afford it on his own. I know he won't be eligible for assistance because of that jerk who pretends to be his Dad. I know Jennifer would help if she could. I went ahead and paid it, anonymously. Come on, the kid has too much talent to let it lie dormant. He's a safe investment. Besides he has too much integrity not to pay me back some day.

I wasn't surprised when he showed up at the loft to thank me. That's Justin. He doesn't take anything without giving back. I'm pretty damned proud of myself too. I was good and casual about the whole thing when he walked into my loft. Why in the the fuck did the room become warmer and smell so much better when he walked in? Anyway, at least I got him to take the computer with him. It was painful seeing it around all the time and he needed it. That's officially the last tie to him in the place. Good! Now I can go back to playing Solitaire again with no reminders haunting me. I'll start at the club tonight.

*******************************************

Ahhhh, the Charity Carnivale. What a blessing. It paid for my 'Vette. Gave me the chance to throw a little money Justin's way too. Damn, that kid is smart. Bargained me to a price I hadn't planned on paying for the poster. I have no doubt he needs it and he'd never take charity from me or anyone else. Good ole Mikey is convinced the car is 'boyfriend replacement therapy'. Yeah right! I reminded him I don't do boyfriends.

Hmmm, if Justin is so happy with the Fiddler Fuck, why did he leave the man, and his previous plans, to come visit the Carnivale. I left his name at the door but Ian made it clear that they wouldn't show up. That prick loves slamming his relationship with Justin in my face, throwing his scrawny arm around Sunshine's shoulder and leading him away. Love to wipe that smirk off his face.

Justin really did look like he wanted to stay at the Carnivale until that twink acted like he was with me. Fucking liar. I had wanted Justin to stay when he came to the loft to show me his poster too. So close but so far away...okay, that's enough of that. Then Mikey came in and Justin left. The way it should be...I guess. At least Justin and I stayed friends. It'll have to do.

******************************************

Electricity! That's what it felt like when Justin put my bracelet back on my wrist after getting it back from that piece of shit nephew of mine. I'm fucking proud of myself. I didn't show him a single sign that I wanted to grab his ass and pull it into the loft, slam the door, and keep everyone else outside. Why does he still make me sweat like that? I'm eternally grateful to him, but it's more than that. He believes in me...more than anyone, including Mikey. That has a lot to do with why I feel this way about him. It's not all about sex with that kid.

That's the second time he has saved my ass. He still doesn't know...nobody does...that that low life, what's his name, from the office spouted off to me about the twink I sent to seduce him into dropping his law suit against me. Blond twink...yeah that's my Justin. If my shitty family had believed in me one tenth as much as Justin I would have known more about love. I'm pretty sure about that. But at least I have Justin's faith, even now.

******************************************

Okay, that was fun. First I get pummeled for taking on Stockwell as a client. Fuck, can't these idiots tell that it's just business. I don't have to fucking love a client to do a job for him. Then I find out what a noble little prick the Fiddler is. So he's going to sacrifice his future to be open about his relationship with Justin. We'll see about that. I have the feeling he is all about gestures, but there is something shady about the jerk. I can't put my finger on it, but I know a con artist when I see one. I grew up with two faced shits. I should know.

Too bad Justin is so trusting. Someone should open his eyes. Which is exactly what I'm trying to do. I caught Ian in the park last night and gave him an eye opener of his own. It must have worked cause Justin was sure as hell pissed when he confronted me in the back room just now. Apparently Ian took my advice and is going to sign the contract that makes him keep his relationship to Justin in the closet. There's not enough money in the world to make me do that. I knew the jerk was a weakling, and now Justin knows it too. I'm not sure why I was so cruel to him when he laid into me...calling him a piece of blond boy ass. That's not the way I really think of him. I guess it hurt more than I wanted to admit, that he didn't get where I was coming from with Paganini, Jr. I don't care if he's with him. I just want to make sure he sees the man for who and what he truly is. That's all. Honest! But fuck, he looked so hurt that I'd refer to him like that. The son of a bitch giving me a blow job had better help me wipe that image out of head. Goddammit!

*******************************************

Ah fuck! Now the little weasel is buying Justin matching rings. How sweet! And Justin is eating it up. I give up. I have enough to deal with, having to put up with that prig, Stockwell on the one hand and Ben's 'roid rage on the other. If Justin wants the Fiddler's brand of romance...I say good for him. I don't give a fuck!

But then again, last night I saw Justin alone at Woody's and he didn't look so fucking happy. He kept twirling that ring on his finger and it looked uncomfortable there. I offered to buy him a drink and he said no, but there was something so sad about his voice. I got the feeling it had nothing to do with missing Ian. Something's up, but it's his business. Besides, I'm sure I'll find out later if there is anything worth knowing.

****************************************

All right! Now I know! No, nobody said anything. Didn't have to. I know Justin. He made a commitment to the Fiddler Fuck and he is loyal, if nothing else. Yeah, I know, he cheated on me...but not really. I'm the one that made the rule that you could screw anyone you wanted to on the side. He kind of bent the rules we agreed to, but I'm the one who refused to make a commitment. If I had, Ian wouldn't have stood a chance. I know that in my heart. This morning it was obvious that Justin hadn't slept at home and now tonight he's in the back room screwing a trick. No way is he still with the Fiddler. Good for him. I knew he'd come to his senses. I just hope the next guy he hooks up with is worthy of him. Did I mention how fucking good he looked bathed in that blue light. That trick has no idea how lucky he is to have Justin up his ass tonight.

*******************************************

The little shit. Now he's gone and done it. The Fiddle Fuck is out and he shows up at my office...as an intern, no less. And man, does he know how to play me? I tell him he can find somewhere else to intern and he throws his education up in my face. Now how do I refuse to help him succeed in school when I'm paying for the fucking education? Well, the little asshole can bat his gorgeous blue eyes at me all he wants. I'm not falling for it. This is business...strictly business. Our former 'relationship', as he likes to call it, will not get in the way. End of story.

And now he's stalking me at Babylon. Does he really think I don't know what he's up to. Hinting he wants to dance with me. Oh no, sweet cheeks. I'm not falling for that. If I get that body in my arms on the dance floor again.... Well it ain't gonna happen. Solitaire...that's my game, from now on!

****************************************

What's he doing to me? The little shit. First he proves how right he is for the job, by paying such close attention to every word I say. Then he strokes my ego...only I know him. He wouldn't have said what he did about my co-workers if he didn't mean it. Then he goes and adds his two cents worth to my presentation, making me look bad. Okay, so he was right about the color thing. He's an artist, for fucks sake. But he didn't have to embarrass me. That's it, he has to go. I thought I was cool with it, but that's shit. I can't deal with him around all the time. That's the long and short of it. He'll have to further his education somewhere else. I'm telling him tonight. This game is over.

*****************************************

Oh shit! I'm in trouble now! All I did was go in that office to fire his ass. He fought back. He fucking accused me of still being in love with him (as if I ever was) and not wanting him around all the time reminding me of what we had. And then he played drama queen and said he might as well go since I'd never admit how I truly feel. Okay, I admit it. I panicked. I just couldn't let him leave like that. But goddammit, he was up to the challenge I threw down. He got the last word.

I can still feel his lips hard on mine, and that tongue invading every one of my senses. Less than a minute, that's all it took. Every inch of my body came alive. Every damned minute of sex I had from the minute he left became nothing. Just like that. I WANT HIM! What's next? He's asked for a meeting after work tonight. This may turn out to be the most important meeting I've ever had in this office. He's late. What's taking him so long? Everyone has left for the day. Come on Justin. I need to know what you have to say for yourself. The clock is moving too fucking slow. Come on.

*******************************************

Finally, there he is. "Mr. Kinney", he says to me. "Taylor," I answer back. So formal, he is...so beautiful! And then he launches into his spiel. I should take him back. Yes! I'd be making a big mistake not taking him back. Yes! Now he knows what I want from him and what to expect. Yes! And he made it clear that it would be a pleasure to 'work' under me, even long into the night. Oh, yes! And he will NEVER EVER play violin music in my presence again. Yes, yes, yes! The deal is set. Now we just have to seal the deal.

I watched him go to the door and close it slowly. Women could learn a lesson in seduction from my boy. I'm already as hard as a rock. Every nerve ending in my body is on fire. The instant he touched me, I came alive inside. I didn't even know my body had been asleep all this time. And his body... I want to taste, feel, smell, drink in every single inch of him. Nothing will be missed tonight. I am going to feel my body join his tonight and it will be right...the way it should be. He'll welcome me into his warmth and I'll fill him up with all that I am, all I'll ever be. I'm going to do it right this time. I'm not ready for "I love yous". I can't, not yet. Maybe never. But I'll show him what he means to me....every day and in every way I can.

No more Solitaire games for me. I've found the perfect partner. Yes, I'll give him that. I don't care anymore, who knows that I have a partner. It's an unconventional, undefined kind of way, but there it is. Justin is my partner and I'm his. I'm playing Doubles from now on.

The End