Brian awoke to a strange feeling. Something seemed to be wrapped around him pinning him to the bed. He opened his eyes blinking as he realized that what had him anchored to the bed was Justin. He stared at the top of the blond head lying on his chest.

He needed to piss, but he didn't want to wake the boy. He looked at Justin sleeping peacefully and realized that he had had a great sleep too. He didn't often sleep through the night without waking several times. He had fucked Justin at least three times, maybe more and they had fallen asleep exhausted. He wasn't sure either of them had moved all night. This seemed to be how they were just before he had drifted off.

Brian realized that he really needed to pee. He carefully lifted the arm that was flung across his chest. He started to slide inch by inch towards the side of the bed. He had almost achieved his goal when he heard something.

"Don't go," Justin whispered his eyes still closed. He snuggled closer.

"If you don't let me go, I'm going to go right here in the bed."

"Oh," Justin said sitting up a bit and rubbing at his eyes.

Brian used that movement to escape to the bathroom. He made a beeline to the toilet and emptied his bladder with a satisfied sigh.

"Feel better?" Justin asked with a grin when Brian returned to the bedroom.

Brian looked down at the blond. They had had quite a night. The kid must have used up a good part of his pent up sexual energy. Brian's dick twitched at the thought. The movement wasn't lost on Justin.

"You up for another one?" he asked.

Brian snorted. "Didn't you get enough last night?"

"Never enough," Justin declared stretching luxuriously.

"Youth!" Brian scoffed.

"Come on, old man, you showed me your stamina last night." Justin watched Brian glare at him at his choice of "old man" as a designation. He was immediately sorry that he had said it. "I ... I'm sorry. I didn't mean that you ... I was kidding ... I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry."

"Jesus, you're easy. I can still fluster you with a look," Brian snorted.

"Asshole," Justin complained hoping that Brian really had been teasing him.

"That's my name. Don't abuse it."

"It's not your name, you know. You are about the sweetest man I have ever met."

"Jesus Christ, don't say that in public. I'll never live it down."

Justin giggled. "Your secret is safe with me." He paused. "Is my secret safe with you?"

"You don't want anybody to know you're positive?"

Justin shook his head. "I've had too many bad experiences when people find out."

"I won't say anything if you don't want me to, but I think it's usually better to be upfront about something like that."

"Not in my experience."

Brian shrugged. "Do what you think is best."

"Should I leave now?" Justin asked thinking that their conversation had put a damper on any other activity.

"What is your problem with staying put? You don't have to go anywhere."

"I don't?" Justin asked with one of those sunshine smiles.

"I thought you wanted to fool around a little more?"

"I do."

"Then scoot over," Brian ordered as he climbed back into bed. He suddenly found his arms full of blond boy and his mouth captured by succulent lips. Somehow it felt very right.

-----~~~~~~~-----~~~~~~~-----~~~~~~~-----~~~~~~~-----~~~~~~~-----

Brian had managed to get to work on time ... barely. He thought back to the morning activities in bed as he sat at his desk. That little Sunshine had some sexual appetite, and he was a quick study. He didn't really know a lot about sex but he did so many things instinctually. Brian smiled. And he learned whatever Brian taught him at lightning speed. He was a natural.

He had dropped Justin off at his apartment on his way to work. He wondered when he could see the kid again. The smile slowly faded from his face. He never wanted to see his tricks after he had had them. What was up with this? He'd had Justin Taylor, and that should be that. He frowned. The thought of never seeing Justin again, of never kissing him, of never having sex with him, left him feeling ... empty. He thought that was the right word to describe what he was feeling. And he didn't like that feeling at all. He liked it much better when his arms were filled with the vibrant young blond.

Vibrant! That was an interesting choice of words, considering that Justin was positive, that he was sick. But Brian had felt him come to life as they made love. And that was what they had done. It was much more than fucking. He had felt the frozen core of the boy gradually melt, and then he had felt the warmth of that sunshine smile. He loved that smile.

Fuck! Here he was dreaming about making love and about loving that smile and about fucking sunshine. He must have fallen into some kind of extraterrestrial black hole. His whole life had been spent denying that there was any such thing as love, of avoiding even the possibility that there could be love, and most of all, of being denied love ... by his own family. So what had changed?

Justin Taylor! It had all come about because of that young man. Brian had actually gone on a sort of date with him. He had invited him back to the loft, to talk, of all things. He had skipped the chance of a fuck at Woody's or Babylon to be with the boy. He had as much as asked the kid to stay all night. And here he was daydreaming about the little twat. Something was definitely out of whack in his universe.

Brian decided that he needed to do some serious thinking about what was going on between himself and Justin. He had never been in a situation like this before and he wasn't sure what it all meant or what he was going to do about it. The only thing he knew for sure was that he wanted to see Justin Taylor again ... and again ... and again.

He tried to wipe the stupid grin off his face as he got ready for his next meeting.

-----~~~~~~~-----~~~~~~~-----~~~~~~~-----~~~~~~~-----~~~~~~~-----

Justin showed up for his shift at the diner after his last class. He would work over the dinner hour, and he wondered if Brian would stop in for something to eat. He could hardly wait to see the handsome ad exec again. His face lit up with a bright smile as he walked through the diner heading to the back to get rid of his jacket and bag.

"You look like the cat who ate the canary," Debbie observed looking at the golden glow on her young charge's face.

"Do I?" Justin asked broadening his grin.

"What's up?" Debbie asked sensing some big event had happened.

"Um ... nothing," Justin replied knowing that Brian would not want others to know anything about what they had done.

"You look like that nothing must have got up your ass," Debbie joked taking a stab in the dark about what might be making Justin so happy.

Justin blushed. He could feel the warmth slide up his neck and color his cheeks.

"Shit!" Debbie exclaimed. "You got laid, didn't you?"

"Um..."

"Don't even think about lying to me. I recognize that look. I can spot it on Michael every time, and Emmett and Ted are open books. The only one I can't read is ... Brian." She watched as the color on Justin's cheeks darkened even more and he looked away. "Holy Christ! You and fucking Brian Kinney! I thought I told you to stay away from him."

"You did," Justin admitted, "but that didn't mean that I would want to."

"He's trouble, Sunshine. I love him like a son, but he's one tough son of a bitch. Don't get yourself in over your head."

"I ... I already am."

"Fuck! Have you...? Of course you have. What the fuck am I thinking? Brian screws on the first date, excuse me, make that the first eye contact."

"Debbie," Justin said prepared to defend the kind and caring Brian Kinney that he had witnessed the night before.

"Don't defend him to me. I know what he is. Just don't fucking fall in love with him or some dumb thing like that."

"Too late."

"Jesus Christ, what happened?" she asked staring at him in disbelief.

"I don't want to talk about it," Justin said, although that was exactly what he wanted to do. He wanted to share his happiness with someone.

"Brian doesn't do love, Justin," Debbie said solemnly.

"So?" Justin asked defiantly. He didn't want to listen to all of Brian's shortcomings. He had seen a side of the man that he thought few others got to see. He knew what Brian was really like, or at least he thought he did.

Debbie heard the defiance in his voice and decided to back off. She had given her warning. Justin would make his own decisions, just like Michael. Her face hardened as she thought about Michael ... and Ben.

"Is something wrong, Deb?" Justin asked noting the change in her face.

"I ... I was thinking about my son," she admitted.

"And the positive guy he's dating?"

"Yeah."

Justin wondered if telling her about his own HIV status would make any difference in how she felt about him. He hesitated knowing the reaction he had received other times, but Brian had encouraged him to tell people. "Debbie, there's something I've been going to tell you."

"What's that, sweetie?" she asked with a distracted look.

Just then the bell over the front door rang and she went off to wait on the new customer. Justin went to the back to drop his messenger bag and grab his apron. Maybe he'd tell Debbie when things calmed down after the dinner rush.

All through dinner time Justin watched the door waiting for Brian to appear, waiting to see the man who had turned his life around in one short night. The longer he waited with no appearance of the handsome man, the more worried he got. He knew the stories about Brian Kinney. Debbie had made sure to reinforce what an asshole Brian was. But Brian had been so different with him, especially last night. He had to come to the diner, he had to let Justin know that they had had something special. He couldn't just turn away and forget him, could he?

Justin's shift finished at nine and there had been no sign of Brian. As that time approached Justin could feel his happiness slipping away. He had told Brian when he would be working. He had been sure for some reason that Brian would come to the diner, would want to see him again, would need to see him again, just like Justin needed to see him.

The diner had almost emptied out as Justin cleared the last few tables. He suddenly felt very tired. He would be glad to leave here and go home, go home to bed ... alone. He sighed as he carried the tub of dirty dishes to the kitchen.

"Grab a coke and come sit down," Debbie asked as he reappeared from the back. "You said you had something to tell me."

"Um ... I'm really tired, Deb. Could I take a raincheck and do this another time?"

"No."

"But..."

"Sit ... and talk. Now," she ordered.

"I really don't want to do this." Justin protested but he slid into the booth across from her.

"You were a bundle of energy and high hopes when you came in here this afternoon. Now you look like somebody just stole your favorite teddy bear. And don't think I didn't see you checking out the door every fucking time the bell rang. I know he didn't show up."

"Who?" Justin asked staring at his hands on the table and wishing she would let him escape.

"Brian fucking Kinney, who do you think?"

"I..."

"Don't tell me you weren't looking for him because I know better. I have a fucking son who has had that look on his face for more than half of his life."

"You mean ... Michael and Brian?" Justin asked with incredulity.

"Yeah, except there never was a Michael and Brian, except as friends. That didn't stop Michael from wanting more."

"But he didn't get it?"

"Brian is a very complex person. He had a rough time as a child and he ... he has issues with love and commitment."

"He does? He didn't seem like that last night?"

"Is that wishful thinking on your part?"

"I don't think so ... or ... I didn't think so. Now I'm not so sure."

"I tried to warn you."

"I know and I appreciate it, but some things you have to learn for yourself."

"Yeah, I guess," Debbie said with a shake of her head. "So what were you going to tell me earlier before we were so rudely interrupted by work?" She smiled encouragingly.

Justin flinched. He didn't think he wanted to tell her anymore. He had been going to do it because of what Brian had told him, but Brian seemed to have let him down. "It's nothing important," Justin said.

"The look on your face doesn't tell me that."

"Deb..." he groaned.

"Just spit it out."

"I'm HIV positive," he said softly deciding he could always try to get a job somewhere else.

"What the fuck did you say?" She sounded angry.

"I'll go if you want. I won't come back," Justin said quickly sliding out of the booth.

"Wait," she commanded grabbing his wrist. He sat back down. "You tell me what the fuck happened."

"It's a long story," Justin sighed.

"I don't see that we're exactly swamped with customers, so spill." She practically spat the words from between clenched teeth.

"It was ... it was my first time," Justin said fighting tears. He could never get past that memory without crying. "He was rough and he didn't use a condom."

"Fucking Christ! Your first time! Shit! Sunshine, that's awful."

Justin blinked back the tears and told her the rest of the story. She seemed very sympathetic once she knew what it was all about. When he was done he had to add that he had spent the previous night with Brian and it had been wonderful.

Debbie's eyes got very large. "Oh shit!" she said. "Have you told him? Did he know?" She looked as worried as when she had told him about Michael's boyfriend.

"I told him. He didn't seem to mind. We ... we were careful."

"I should fucking hope so, but both my boys, Michael and Brian..." She continued to shake her head like she couldn't believe this turn of events.

"You don't need to worry, Deb. It looks like Brian has had a change of heart, since he hasn't called or come to see me since. One-fuck-only-Kinney seems to be alive and well."

"Maybe he's still at work. He works long hours." Debbie tried to defend her other son.

"Or maybe he's at Babylon ... or the baths. There are plenty of other guys who can give him what I can ... and without the risk."

"I'm sorry," she said softly not denying the conclusion he had reached.

"I'm going home now, Deb. Do you want me to come back for my next shift ... or should I just get lost," Justin asked in a defeated voice getting up from the booth.

"Why would you think you shouldn't come back?" she asked standing up.

"Most people don't want me around when they find out."

"I want you around," she said adding a kiss to the bone-crushing hug she already had him in.

He sniffed back the tears. "I guess Brian was right about one thing. He told me I should tell people. I ... I'm glad I told you and you reacted the way you have. Thanks, Deb," he said sincerely. He wished somebody else wanted him around to.

-----~~~~~~~-----~~~~~~~-----~~~~~~~-----~~~~~~~-----~~~~~~~-----

Down the street from the diner Brian sat in his parked Jeep. He had been there for over fifteen minutes trying to decide what to do. He knew Justin was working at the diner. He knew he would be expecting Brian to call or pop in to see him. He knew he wanted to see the blond, but what could he do? It went against everything he had ever professed as his philosophy in life. He wasn't sure he could give it up just like that.

The night he had spent with Justin had been wonderful. He couldn't remember when he had felt so young and so alive. They had enjoyed each other's company. They had talked and laughed. They had had fun. He shook his head thinking that he had never had "fun" with a trick. Justin wasn't a trick. What he was he didn't know yet, but he was much more than a trick. That must be why fun had been possible.

But if Justin wasn't a trick, then what the fuck was he? Brian wracked his brain trying to think of how to put into words what he thought about the boy. He didn't want a relationship with him. He hated relationships. The whole concept of relationships made him physically ill. They never worked. They were usually based on lies and the people in them always ended up lying and cheating and hating each other. His own parents were a prime example. And Lindsay and Melanie. They wouldn't be together if he hadn't given up his parental rights to Gus. That still grated on him. But he had done it for his son and for Lindsay.

He sighed. His mind went to Michael who seemed to have found someone in Ben, HIV positive Ben. He remembered all the things Ted had said about that relationship and he wondered what they would say if they knew he had been with HIV positive Justin. His mind reeled at the thought.

"Enough," he said aloud and started the Jeep. He'd go home and do some more thinking and probably spend a sleepless night. He didn't know what else to do at the moment except maybe going to Babylon and getting totally wasted. He knew that wouldn't solve the problem and would probably only make matters worse in the long run.

He pulled out into traffic and headed down Liberty. As he approached the diner he saw a familiar blond form come out the door. He slowed down. On impulse he pulled over beside a parked car and rolled down the window. A car honked behind him. He ignored it. Once the window was down he yelled, "Justin." The boy turned and he saw the look of desolation on the beautiful face. "Get in," he called and the responding smile lit up the darkness of Liberty Avenue.