"He has that fucking little shit moving in with him," Michael told the guys. He had asked Ted to come over to his and Emmett's apartment to discuss what he had found out at Brian's.

"Moving in?" Ted asked. "Christ, he doesn't even let tricks catch their breath after he shoots, and he's throwing them out the door."

"Teddy..." Emmett started to say something.

"That's what I don't get," Michael interrupted. "What's so different, so special about this kid?"

"He even has HIV," Ted added. "It's not like Brian to take a risk like that."

"Teddy..." Emmett tried again.

"I know," Michael stated. "He sure wasn't thrilled about me dating Ben. None of you were," Michael added feeling a little hurt all over again, "especially my mother."

"Yeah, and she defended both Brian and Justin at the diner. I just don't get it," Ted said shaking his head.

"Guys, guys," Emmett tried to get their attention.

"What?" they both asked annoyed at Emmett for interrupting their thoughts.

"I've been trying to tell you something for ages," Emmett said with a sigh.

"So tell us, for pete's sake," Ted said exasperated.

"You two have this all wrong," Emmett stated confidently.

"And how do you figure that?" Ted asked.

"Brian never said anything against you dating Ben because he is HIV positive, Michael," Emmett said.

"Yes, he did."

"No, he didn't. I was there and I listened very carefully. Only Teddy was against it. You know that Brian only wants what's best for you, sweetie," Emmett added giving Michael a hug. "We all do. I'm sure he was worried but he never said anything against you having a relationship with Ben."

"Just made a fucking joke out of it if I remember correctly," Ted said frowning.

"But he never said anything in favor of it either," Michael noted.

"When does Brian ever speak in favor of anything ... except fucking, but that goes without saying," Emmett added.

"I don't understand what he sees in that kid," Michael persisted.

"And I bet your mother didn't understand what you see in Ben," Emmett said trying to make his point. "But she's coming around, isn't she?"

"Maybe a little," Michael admitted. And then the light dawned. "Are you saying that I'll get to like this kid? I don't fucking think so!"

Emmett shrugged. What more could he say?

"So we're both agreed that Brian should not be seeing this positive kid?" Michael said looking at Ted for support.

"Like I could tell Brian what to do about anything," Ted admitted.

"But you sure told me," Michael said with a grimace.

"And Brian heard every word of it," Ted pointed out. "It obviously had as much impact on him as it did on you."

"I don't see how you can say anything about Brian seeing someone who is positive," Emmett interjected. "You're doing the same thing." He paused for effect. "Or is it that you just don't want him seeing anyone at all?"

"That's not true. I want Brian to be happy, but this all happened so fast. I bet he's doing this out of some kind of pity for the kid?" Michael said. He remembered a fourteen year old Brian Kinney who had taken a scared little gay boy under his wing all those years ago.

"Brian Kinney doesn't do pity. It makes his dick soft, remember," Ted pointed out. "And heaven forbid that anything should make his dick soft, except an orgasm, of course!"

"Look," Emmett said, "I don't think this is any of our business and there's nothing we can do about it anyway."

"I have to do something. This is my best friend we're talking about," Michael said. "I'm going to talk to that kid. Set him straight on a few things."

Emmett and Ted both shrugged knowing there was nothing more they could say.

-----~~~~~~~-----~~~~~~~-----~~~~~~~-----~~~~~~~-----~~~~~~~-----

Justin was at the weights bench when someone came up behind him and their shadow fell across his face. "I'm not interested," he said without really looking at the guy. He continued to press the barbell up and down as the sweat began to bead on his forehead.

"You're Justin, aren't you?" the man asked.

"Yeah," Justin said setting the barbell in its cradle. "Who wants to know?"

"I'm Ben," the man said coming around the bench to stand in front of Justin who sat up. "Ben Bruckner. I've been going out with Michael Novotny."

"Oh," Justin said standing up. "You were at the diner the other day."

"Yeah, the day you and Brian dropped your bombshell."

"Is that what you call it?" Justin asked with a little grin.

"It certainly caused an explosion in Michael's little world."

"I heard."

"What did you hear?" Ben asked not having discussed Michael's visit to the loft with his boyfriend. He wanted to know how much Michael had tried to interfere.

"He told Brian to get rid of me."

"He didn't!"

"Oh, yeah, he did. How do you put up with the judgmental little prick?" he asked letting his anger at Michael's actions get the better of him. "Um ... sorry," he added realizing that he was talking about the man's boyfriend.

"That seems to be a Novotny trait," Ben said with a laugh. "I'd like to talk to you if you could spare a bit of time. Want to meet at the juice bar downstairs?"

"I don't see that we really have anything to talk about," Justin replied not sure why this man would be proposing a chat. Michael certainly wouldn't want Ben talking to him.

"I'm HIV positive too," Ben said slowly and deliberately.

"I know," Justin said. He wasn't sure what else to say.

"So ... juice? Fifteen minutes?"

"Okay ... sure," Justin said uncertainly. He quickly made his way to the showers. This was certainly an unexpected turn of events.

When he walked into the juice bar he saw Ben sitting at a table with two glasses of juice in front of him. Justin walked over and hiked himself onto the tall stool. Ben smiled at him.

"I took the liberty of ordering two of my favorite juice drinks. They're full of vitamins and other good stuff."

"Thanks," Justin said looking at the glass somewhat suspiciously.

"Try it. It's actually quite tasty," Ben said.

Justin took a sip and nodded in agreement. "It's actually good," he said with a little grin.

"Did you think I would try to poison you?"

"No ... not you, but maybe Michael," Justin said with a crooked grin. "I can't figure out why you want to talk to me."

"We have something in common."

"HIV?"

"And the fact that we're dating best friends," Ben added.

"Don't let Brian hear you call it dating. He doesn't date."

"But he asked you to move in with him?"

"Not exactly. He asked me to be around ... sometimes ... when he wants to fuck me."

"And you're all right with that?"

"Brian's the only man who has wanted to be with me since I found out I'm positive."

"Have you looked for someone else?" Ben asked.

"That's none of your business and I don't want to hear that Brian is an asshole and I deserve better."

"I wasn't going to say either of those things. However, Michael seems to think this is very out of character for Brian. He can't figure out what's going on. I don't want to see you get hurt."

"For your information I've already been hurt more than I care to think. I like Brian and he likes me. We have fun together. I'll take what I can get from him and enjoy every minute of it as long as it lasts. And I'd appreciate it if your boyfriend wouldn't interfere."

"I have no control over Michael, but I could tell him to butt out," Ben said with a rueful smile. "Don't count on him listening to my advice though."

"So," Justin said, "is that all you wanted to tell me?"

"I was going to offer to show you my exercise regimen. It might help you keep in good shape and healthy. I can also discuss any questions you might have about HIV or how to deal with it."

"You would?" Justin asked. He was touched. Nobody had bothered to do that for him although some of the doctors had told him to get in shape, build up his body.

"Justin, I know what you're going through. I've been there, and I have experience with it that I'd be willing to share."

"I ... I'd appreciate that. Thank you." Justin looked thoughtful for a minute. "How do you do it? How can you be happy and upbeat? How do you live with it every day knowing that at some point it's going to kill you?"

"You believe in starting with the tough questions first, I see," Ben said with a chuckle. "You learn to take it day by day and appreciate each one that sees you healthy and able to do things that you want to do."

"But doesn't it just eat away at you? Before I met Brian I was so alone. I felt like I might as well be dead. The only joy I got was from my painting ... and dancing, but it could never go any farther than that." The look on Justin's face bespoke such loneliness and hurt.

"It's not easy, but enjoy your time with Brian. I feel the same way about Michael."

"You love him?"

"I think we're heading in that direction. He's a gentle, kind man."

Justin frowned. "I haven't seen that side of him."

"He can be very fierce in defending his friends ... and me," Ben said with a smile. "He took on his mother big time."

"I guess you're lucky to have him," Justin said being more charitable about Michael than he really felt.

"I am, and you're lucky to have Brian, if he's what you want."

"He's everything I could want," Justin declared.

"Don't ... don't expect too much of him," Ben cautioned having heard all of the stories about Brian Kinney and his philosophy of life.

"I'm not sure why people keep telling me that. I don't expect anything of Brian," Justin said trying to convince himself of that. He knew he really wanted Brian to love him and ask him to stay with him forever. But for now...

"If you want to talk anytime, call me," Ben said handing Justin a card with his phone numbers.

Ben smiled and Justin felt like he had just found a friend and someone that he could talk to about the fucking disease that was waiting to kill him.

-----~~~~~~~-----~~~~~~~-----~~~~~~~-----~~~~~~~-----~~~~~~~-----

When Justin arrived at his apartment he found Michael Novotny standing outside.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Justin asked.

"I want to talk to you."

"I'm all talked out for today. Come back in a week or a month or next year ... or better yet, don't come back at all!"

"I'm not going until I find out what you've done to Brian."

"What I've done to Brian?"

"That's what I said."

"And what's that supposed to mean? That I've infected him or bribed him into taking me in or blackmailed him into having sex with me?"

"All of the above," Michael said his arms crossed defiantly on his chest and his eyes glaring at Justin.

"Jesus Christ! I haven't done any of those things. What the fuck is your problem?"

"You."

"ME? What have I done to you?"

"You ... you've done something to my best friend. He's not himself," Michael said grasping at a way to explain his concern.

"I haven't done anything to Brian. I ... I like him, Michael. I like being with him. I like kissing him and I like talking to him and I like having sex with him. And he likes all those things too ... with me."

"Brian doesn't keep tricks around," Michael said bluntly.

Justin felt that jab at his heart. He knew that's what Brian had thought of him at first. "I'm not one of his tricks." Justin tried to make his voice sound confident.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Michael said sensing weakness.

"What do you mean?" Justin looked warily at Michael.

"Brian always helps the underdog. He never kicks someone who's down. He only decimates the strong ones. You're the underdog trick."

"No ... I ... what are you saying?"

"That Brian thinks of you as a weak, needy, little kid and he's trying to help you."

"No."

"Face it, Justin. He's only doing this out of pity. Has he told you he loves you?" Justin stared at Michael and then slowly shook his head. "He never will, because he doesn't love you. He pities you."

"No," Justin said and it came out almost as a whimper. He was so afraid that what Michael was saying was the truth and he didn't want to be pitied. He wanted to be wanted and needed and loved, not pitied.

"I thought you should know," Michael said triumphantly. He turned away from the look of pain on Justin's face and slowly began to walk up the street.

Justin watched him slowly recede from view. He stood there for a long time trying to find the strength to move his feet and go up to his apartment.

-----~~~~~~~-----~~~~~~~-----~~~~~~~-----~~~~~~~-----~~~~~~~-----

Brian was very busy at work for the next couple of days. He was at the office until late each night. As a result he had not had time or inclination to call Justin. Brian trusted that the boy could entertain himself and keep busy until he had more free time to spend with him. Truthfully he knew that he was looking forward to seeing him again ... and fucking him.

When Brian began to catch up at work he called Justin late one night. Justin had just returned home from a late shift at the diner. Brian was horny and wanted the young man to come to his loft. Justin was tired and insecure and worried because Brian had not spoken to him for a couple of days, not since Michael had met him on the street.

"I'm really tired, Brian," Justin said sounding defeated.

"Maybe I could do something about energizing you," Brian said in a low, husky voice.

Justin heard the implied seduction and felt his cock jump. Brian thought of him as a convenient fuck and that seemed to be all. He didn't care if Justin was tired or worried. He didn't think enough of him to call for several days, but when he wanted a fuck he was on the phone immediately.

"I don't think so. I'm going to bed," Justin said.

"Is something wrong? You sound ... different."

"I am different," Justin wanted to scream. "I'm tired," he repeated.

"You're not sick, are you?" Brian asked. He thought he could hear concern in Brian's voice. And then he mentally shook himself. Concern for Brian consisted of the fact that he might not get his cock sucked in a timely fashion.

"Me, sick? Never," he said with as much sarcasm as he could muster.

"Justin what's going on?"

"Nothing. I'm going to bed. Call some other time when it's not the middle of the night." Justin hung up the phone.

Brian looked at the dead receiver in his hand. He was about to push redial when he stopped himself. Maybe Justin was tired. It was almost midnight and the boy had been at school all day and then the diner for god knew how long. He better give Justin some time to recover. He could talk to him tomorrow. In the meantime he would make a quick trip to Babylon. He was sure he could find someone there to take the edge off. He always did.

Justin stared at the phone. He couldn't believe that he had waited for days to hear from Brian and then had hung up on him. He wanted to cry. Everything that Michael had said seemed to be true. Brian didn't love him and didn't need him ... except to suck his dick. He probably had nothing better to do tonight than call him. If he had a better offer he was sure Brian would be taking it. After all Justin was nothing special, he was less than nothing. He had HIV.

The tears began rolling down his cheeks and he couldn't stop them. He threw himself onto his bed and really cried. He thought he had found someone in Brian even in their strange, unconventional way. He had been happy for a few days, but he supposed the novelty had worn off for Brian. He must have been desperate to be calling tonight. That was good if he was, served him right. Justin couldn't believe that he had thought Brian was so kind and caring. He hadn't given a shit about him for several days, and now all he wanted was a convenient fuck. Maybe Brian's dick would fall off from lack of use or some other horrible fate would befall the bastard.

Justin raised his arms and pounded the pillow in frustration. He knew he had been within seconds of giving in and going over to Brian's Even now amidst all the hurt, part of him wanted to run over there and tell Brian to do whatever he wanted with him. He was so fucking pitiful.

Pity! How did pity fit into all this? Justin stopped crying and sat up for a minute. Brian had called him and asked him to come over. His voice had been full of lust not pity. He had sounded concerned that Justin was tired, might be sick, but he hadn't heard pity in that voice.

He knew that he had agreed to Brian's terms for their ... whatever it was. One of those conditions was that Brian could call him and he would come over whenever the man wanted. He knew they both enjoyed those encounters. That's what he had signed on for. That was what Brian was doing. Brian had not told him that he would call every day, that he would spend every minute thinking of him. He supposed the man had been busy. He knew that Brian intended to fuck other guys, not just him. He also knew that he was the only one that Brian invited back again and again.

What had he done? He had turned Brian down and basically voided their agreement. Shit! He slid to the edge of the bed and wiped his face. He should not be lying here feeling sorry for himself. He should be over at the loft making love, or fucking, as Brian would call it. He realized with sudden clarity that he had let Michael fill his mind with doubts and he had just screwed everything up.

He quickly dressed and spent some of his hard earned money to take a cab over to Brian's. He had to get there quickly. He had to fix things before it was too late. He leaped out of the cab almost before it had come to a stop and used his key. He had a key, he realized. He was sure none of Brian's other ... tricks had a key. He ran up to the loft. He debated using his key for the loft door but decided to knock instead.

There was no answer even after he had pounded several times. Brian wouldn't answer him. Brian must be furious with him. He finally inserted the key and opened the door. He could tell almost immediately that the loft was empty. Brian was gone ... to get his needs met somewhere else, Justin was sure. He felt all the air go out of his lungs. He was too late. He thought he might faint, but he managed to take a deep breath and quickly exited the loft.