“Ben?”

Michael watched his husband, worried, as he pushed the food around in his plate. He'd been like that for a few days.

“Ben?”

No reaction.

“Ben?” Michael touched his husband's hand.

Ben lifted his eyes, startled. “Uh? Yes, Michael.”

“Is everything all right?” Michael wrapped both his hands around Ben's right hand.

“Yes. Sure. Why are you asking?”

“I've been trying to grab your attention for a while.”

Ben looked away, sighing. “I guess I'm too distracted. With the end of school year fast approaching, I've been thinking to tackle a new plot bunny I had hopping around in my head.”

Michael smiled widely. “That's wonderful.” It explained Ben's behavior. He always got locked inside his head when a new plot bunny appeared. “Well, eat up. You need your energy to grow that bunny.”

Ben chuckled, polishing his plate.

oOo

Later that evening, they were on the couch.

Ben was penciling down his new idea, while Michael looked through some Rage sketches Justin had e-mailed him.

“Was there ever something that you wanted so much it actually hurt, but it went against all you believed in?” Ben asked suddenly.

Michael smirked, wriggling his feet in Ben's lap. “You? Oh, wait. I already have you.”

“You always wanted a superhero boyfriend.”

“Okay, I was answering the first part of your question. Why are you asking?”

Ben stared at the paper in his hands. “I'm sure you understand me, or you should, at least, try to....”

Michael sat up straighter, losing the amusement. It sounded serious.

“I bet everyone faces this problem.”

“Okay...I'm not following. What are you talking about?” Michael slid closer to Ben, rubbing his bicep.

“It's embarrassing to ask of this, but I'm going out of my mind. I need this more than you'd know.”

“Don't confound me with Rage. Zephyr doesn't have mind-controlling powers.”

Ben chuckled, wrapping an arm around Michael. “Remember the other night? When I fucked you so hard you almost passed out?”

“Mhmm...” Michael nodded, looking curiously at Ben. “Did you take something to be able to fuck me five times in one night?”

Ben feigned hurt. “Now, I'm deeply hurt, baby.” He leaned to kiss Michael lovingly. “What I wanted to say is that I'd love to feel the same.”

“I thought my blow job skills could rival your fucking skills,” Michael teased, still not catching up on what Ben was trying to say.

“Michael.” He cupped his husband's face between his palms, staring him in the eyes. “I want you to fuck me until I can't think straight. I need to feel your cock in my ass. I want to have you inside me.”

Michael choked on his spit. “W-what?” Surely, he'd heard Ben wrong. Big, butch, Top Ben wouldn't ask to be fucked by a declared bottom.

“Look, you have to understand that sometimes, even us, tops, need a hard dick up the ass.”

A wave of uneasiness washed over Michael. “Do you mean, you've done this before?”

Ben laughed boisterously. “Of course, Michael! Everyone starts from the bottom.”

“Ha fucking ha. I mean...”

“You've been the only one ever since we've met. Before? Yeah, sure. Three guys.”

Michael watched him curiously.

“My first, Alan, we were together all through college. Well, Paul... we switched sometimes. And...” He trailed off.

Michael nodded somberly. “Brian.” He let out a squeaky laugh. “Here I thought two tops would play cards, like two bottoms would, if they were together in a bed.”

“I hope you're not jealous. We talked about this,” Ben said quietly, kissing up and down Michael's neck. “And of course, it was Brian who topped me. I seriously don't see anyone topping him.”

Michael shrugged. He'd known Brian to bottom in the very beginning, when they first adventured to Babylon.

“We're getting away from the subject at hand...” Ben whispered. “What do you say? How would you like to be on top?” He bit at Michael's earlobe, sucking on it.

“I... Can I think about it?” Michael asked, his breath hitching.

“Of course.” Ben lifted his man in his arms, walking to the bedroom, all the while kissing him passionately.

Michael admired Ben's skill at not hitting any doorframes or walls.

oOo

Michael arrived at Kinnetik in the late afternoon on the following Tuesday.

Cynthia waved him toward Brian's office with a smile, before disappearing into her own office.

Michael knocked on the glass door, seeing Brian on the phone. He was greeted by a smile and a wave to step into the modern looking office. Everything was made of glass and steel.

Michael noticed a new white leather sofa, bigger than the previous one, a potted plant on the low table by the sofa, and several new paintings. He didn't have to squint for the signature. He could recognize them as Justin's work.

“I know, I won't forget.” Brian's exasperated voice drew his attention to him. “No, I didn't forget anything that you told me: fruits, bread, cheese, wine, your allergy pills, and when I get home I promise not to forget to feed the animals.”

Michael snorted at the way Brian rolled his eyes at whatever Justin was telling him, because he was sure by then his friend was talking to his boyfriend.

“Yeah, me too...for unknown reasons.” Brian concluded the phone call, throwing the phone on the desk in front of him. “Mikey! To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?”

“Was that Justin?” He asked, sitting across from Brian.

“How did you guess?” Brian snorted.

“I could feel the love,” Michael joked. “Though, I'd love to see you grocery shopping.”

“The twat gets away with all kinds of shit when he's out of town. He's coming tonight. That's why I have to shop, so we can have a light dinner.”

“By the fireplace?”

Brian scowled. “Are you crazy? It's so hot outside, and you think we'd light the fireplace? We usually have dinner outside, in the backyard.” He tilted his head, to look out the window. “I hope it won't rain.”

“You know...that's so romantic.”

“Was there a reason why you decided to grace me with your presence? Or did you want to rub it in my face about what a Stepford husband I've become?”

“You're not married,” Michael pointed out, but continued quickly, before Brian could stray away from what he wanted to say. “Ben propositioned something last night.”

A slow smirk formed on Brian's face. “Why, Mikey. I had no idea you and the Nutty Professor were into foursomes.”

“That's not it!” Michael got up and started pacing.

Brian went to his best friend, stopping him with his hands on his shoulders. “What's up, Mikey?”

“It's Ben...he's gone crazy!”

Brian led him to the new couch. “Crazy...how?”

Michael glanced at Brian, swallowing hard. “Promise me that you won't laugh.”

Brian hooked his pinkie to Michael's, smiling. “I promise on the memory of Marilyn Monroe.”

“He wants me to top. He needs it.”

“So?” Brian raised a brow.

“So?” Michael repeated incredulously.

Brian rolled his eyes. “Mikey, listen to me. We're all fags. We take it up the ass. Even big, mighty tops need a hard prick up their ass every now and then.”

“You mean...” Michael stared shocked at his best friend.

“Me? Yeah, sure,” he answered casually. “And just like every top has an itch to scratch, I'm sure all bottoms need to fuck someone too.”

“No, we don't. I tried topping once. It was a disaster.”

“You mean that guy at Babylon, a century and a half ago?” Brian laughed.

Michael lightly punched his arm. “You promised not to laugh.”

“I promised not to laugh at what you were going to tell me about Ben. And trust me, if his last time bottoming was when I think it was...”

“There was Paul too, I think. His ex.”

“Whatever. I can only imagine how he feels. I'm sure it will be different if you do it with him. He'll understand if you're not good at it, since you're a bottom.” Brian leaned back on the sofa. “But I guess that's love, huh? Accepting and compromising?”

Michael couldn't believe what Brian was saying. He had no idea what to expect from his conversation with him, but it wasn't relationship advice.

“Look, why don't you talk to Justin about this? I promise to allow him out of the house at some point. He can give you tips.” He winked, smirking.

“I can't believe it! You actually allow him to top you!”

Brian narrowed his eyes. “Shout it a little louder. I think your mother didn't hear you.”

“But...Brian!”

“Yeah, Mikey. I take it up the ass from Justin, and I fucking love it. He's an excellent top. I'd be worried if he wasn't, with me as his mentor.”

oOo

It was late in the evening on Friday, and Michael was at the store sorting through the boxes of comic books he’d received earlier in the week.

When he heard the front door opening, he cursed himself for forgetting to lock up. Some kid decided to test his luck, despite the sign on the door stating the store was closed after five in the evening.

Michael looked up from the back on the store where he was surrounded by boxes to see Justin locking up and flipping the signed to CLOSED. Then he turned around and smiled widely.

“Hey, Michael!”

“Justin! Glad to see the Big Bad has let you out of the house.”

“We wouldn’t have left, but Bob called him about being needed at Babylon.” Justin shrugged. “Brian told me you wanted to talk.”

“Did he say what I wanted to discuss?” Michael could feel his face grow hot.

At home, he’d avoided any discussion leading to Ben’s suggestion.

“Not really. He said it was funny, though.” Justin carefully stepped over the comics spread on the floor and sat next to Michael. “So, what is it?”

“I have no idea how to ask you…” Michael smoothed his hand over the cover of a comic. “Look, I’m probably the lamest person in the world, but I’ve always seen myself as a bottom. On my only attempt to top someone…” He shuddered at the memory. “…I’d like not to remember that. Brian can probably tell you the story if you’re curious.”

Justin frowned, folding his hands on his lap. “I’m not sure why you’re telling me this.”

“Ben got this idea – he suggested I should top him.”

To Michael’s surprise, Justin smiled and nodded in understanding.

“So, you don’t think that’s odd?”

“Why? Just like you see yourself as a bottom, that doesn’t constrict you from topping. Hell, I know even Emmett tops. And Emmett is a declared nelly bottom.”

“But… but Ben and Brian… I can’t even imagine—”

Justin burst out laughing. “I couldn’t imagine it either, until I was allowed to rock his world.” Justin winked. “I don’t know about Ben, but even before Brian allowed me on top for the first time, he used his toys for his pleasure.”

“I know that Ben doesn’t.”

“Can’t even imagine not having a hard prick up my ass for such a long time.” Justin gave him a look of horror.

“It’s never been an issue! Ben never said anything like this,” Michael retorted.

“And do you think Brian begged for it? I found him in a weak moment when I first dared to top him.” Justin smiled wistfully at the memory. “He never asks for it. Tops are proud men. They’d never ask to be plowed into the mattress, Michael.”

“Ben did.”

“Because he probably needs it badly. If Brian initiates it, he throws the condoms and lube at me, and sometimes he says ‘do your worst’, like it’s a difficult task.”

Michael snorted. “I still can’t believe it. I thought Brian was joking when he said you fuck him.”

“Well, if we want this relationship to work and maintain a mediocrum of balance in our extra curricular fucks… one of us has to give in one way or another. I’m proud to say that Brian hasn’t been with anyone else in weeks.” Justin beamed. “And I believe him, because he needs it just as badly as me when I return home after my out of town events. Hell, I stopped expecting him to be a saint, because I know I can’t keep it in my pants, either.”

“But that’s not who I am – who Ben and I are.”

“Exactly, which means Ben must need to be fucked quite badly for him to admit such a thing. I’m surprised to hear you’ve never tried it.”

Michael scoffed. “Just like I’m surprised to hear you’ve topped Brian.”

“We didn’t make a big deal out of it. We didn’t even acknowledge it for days after I first fucked him. It was a week later when he told me he was proud of me and that I was an alright top.” Justin laughed, shaking his head. “I was in shock for several minutes.”

“So I should tell Ben that I gave it some thought to his proposition and that I’m willing to try and please him that way?”

“No. You’ll wound his ego. It might not be as big as Brian’s, but he’s still a Top.”

“So? What do you suggest?” Michael finished stacking the newest issues of Superman.

“Go with the flow. When you go to bed tonight, roll him on his stomach. Try not to be obvious.”

“We usually face each other.” Michael noticed a pang of hurt on Justin's face but it was gone the next second.

“Whatever you think would work.” Justin shrugged.

They lapsed in several minutes of silence, while Justin helped Michael wrap everything up and then they walked out of the store.

“Let me know how it goes.”

“I hope I won’t fuck up. Ben expects me to rock his world, and I know I’ll fail him.”

“Michael.” Justin touched his friend’s elbow. “I was eighteen when I fucked Brian for the first time. I was terrified I was going to disappoint him. I came embarrassingly fast, compared to other times I topped the men I fucked before him.”

“You were topping Brian Kinney. I’m sure anyone would be intimidated by that.”

“And yet, I faced my fear and was ready to accept disappointment when he’d push me off his back. That never happened.”

“Well, at least you had some experience. You’ve been with others before you dared to attempt and fuck Brian.”

“Michael, it’s different when you do it with someone you love. Others don’t matter. Whether you rock Ben's world, or fail to do it, Ben won’t care. I thought you knew that not all sex is good.” Justin shuffled. “Hell, we have bad sex. Yes, I admitted that, because it’s the truth. Ben won’t think less of you if you fail in being a good top.”

“I really needed to hear this. Thanks.” Michael leaned to hug Justin. “I’m a little more confident, but still scared.”

“It’s only normal to be scared, especially when you’re about to do something you normally don’t do regularly.”

oOo

Despite Justin’s pep talk and all the courage Michael had gathered on his way home, during dinner, the nerves had gotten the best of him.

“Is there something wrong with the sushi?” Ben asked, worried.

Michael stared at his plate. He’d managed only one piece of rice wrapped in algae. “It’s delicious.”

“Then? You don’t have to dip into the wasabi.”

Michael stretched his legs under the table, touching Ben’s feet. “I’ve been thinking…”

“About my cooking?” Ben raised an eyebrow, playing along and rubbing his socked feet over Michael’s.

“About what you suggested. I want to give you that.”

“I thought we were saving up money for Jenny’s birthday. We can’t afford to go to the White Party.”

Michael snorted. He placed the chopsticks on his plate, got up and walked around the table. He pushed Ben's chair so there was enough space for him to sit on his husband’s lap.

“I want to fuck you so badly,” he whispered into Ben’s ear.

The gasp that left Ben’s mouth made Michael remember how much he loved his man and how he wanted to give him anything he wanted.

“Now?” Ben’s hands went to Michael’s ass, squeezing it.

“If you’re up to it?”

Ben laughed loudly, pulling Michael into the bedroom.

oOo

On Saturday night, they met with Brian and Justin for drinks at Woody’s.

While Ben and Justin were gone to grab their drinks, Brian wrapped an arm around Michael's shoulders.

“Justin said you took the big step last night.”

“I might have.”

“So, how was it?”

“Hot.”

Brian narrowed his eyes. “Details.”

“I’m not gonna tell you,” Michael said, scandalized.

“Tell him, what?” Ben asked, joining them with beers.

“About your night as a bottom,” Brian said without missing a beat.

“Be nice,” Justin whispered, kissing Brian's cheek on his way to the empty chair next to Brian.

“Michael’s an amazing top,” Ben explained, making Michael blush.

“So your skills have improved?” Brian laughed. “Fuck. Ow.” He threw Justin a glare, reaching under the table to rub his sore ankle.

Michael stared at them, realizing that Brian had Justin about his failed first time as a top many years ago at Babylon. He appreciated that Justin was a nicer person than his best friend.

“I’m glad you had the courage to take that step. I wasn’t sure if you’d try it after our talk yesterday,” Justin said, tactfully.

“I remembered that in a relationship, both sides had to give and take.”

“And you took it literally, and gave Ben your dick up his ass.” Brian smirked.

Ben took a pull from his bottle, keeping his eyes on Brian. “Michael is an exceptional lover, and last night was one of our top five.”

Michael turned to meet Ben’s eyes, feeling himself tear up at the compliment.

“Must have been something else,” Justin said, smiling.

“Yes.” Michael nodded, emphatically.

“I’m still waiting for details,” Brian said in a slightly bored voice.

“He started by rimming me, then he pushed inside me, never breaking eye-contact. The first time, he moved slowly, savoring the feeling.”

“Then I build more confidence and I knew what we both liked,” Michael added, leaning to kiss Ben.

When they pulled apart, they noticed Brian and Justin having a staring contest, their heads close, foreheads almost touching. What looked like the beginning of one of their fights, ended in a kiss that had both Ben and Michael look away. Its intensity showed their love for each other.

Brian kept Justin close when they came up for air. His eyes met Michael’s. “Never underestimate the power of bottoming.”

“I think you mean, power of topping,” Ben corrected him.

Brian glanced at him. “It’s the bottom that holds all the power. Even when he decides to top,” Brian added, smirking at Justin.

Justin chuckled. “And True Tops are an urban legend. There’s no such thing as a declared Top. They not so secretly love it up the ass, and are very sentimental.”

“I revoke your privilege to get near my ass.” Brian pulled away from Justin, huffing.

“Whatever you say, honey.” Justin grinned from ear to ear, ducking in time to avoid Brian's hand ready to smack him.

Michael eyed them amused by their antics. He could actually see Brian stripped of all his walls, allowing Justin the only piece of him no one else touched.