JULIAN

I looked at Ben, disappointed in him. He only had one job to do- keep Justin in line. Instead he’s here, telling me he left Brian Kinney to deal with Justin. I wasn’t sure how I felt about Justin’s interest in the man. Maybe it was knowing that nothing about me caught Justin’s interest, but some Ad hack did. The reports that started flooding my desk about Justin’s nocturnal activities were alarming, when for years the reports on what he did when he wasn’t working were barely a paragraph. 

I didn’t think much of the reports of Justin’s walks, or even the ones about him sitting for an hour or two by himself. Since normally when people came near Justin, he would leave. I found that out when I tried to sit with him at the water. He opened his eyes, stared through me, and left as if he didn’t want me around. I could live with his lack of interest, since no one seemed to register to Justin. I can’t even say I had any real feelings about Justin, he really wasn’t my type. Only I was fucking jealous at the idea that it wasn’t that he was oblivious, just that I wasn’t interesting enough for him. People got down on their knees for my attention. Which made me think Brian and I had that in common. What we didn’t have in common was that Justin didn’t ignore Brian the way he does me and anyone else around him. I looked at Ben, knowing most men stopped when he passed by, and wondering why I thought Ben could get Justin’s attention. Ben was intelligent, well read, and put people at ease when they met him, only it didn’t work with Justin. 

“Care to explain why you couldn’t do your job? Not that I’ve been happy with anything you’ve done involving Justin.” I said, letting Ben squirm under my stare.

“What was I supposed to do? What Brian suggested, yank him away from his work? You want Justin working, so I didn’t bother to stop him. Truthfully I think leaving the guy to see what Justin’s like will get him go away on his own.” Ben tells me.

“Justin really bothers you doesn’t he? You’ve spent your life feeling like the top of the food chain in intelligence, and finding out that compared to Justin, your scraping the bottom of the barrel. You shouldn’t have felt so inadequate, but instead been amazed by the fact that you were allowed to witness someone so extraordinary.” I tell him.

“I’m not jealous of him. There's nothing to admire about Justin. If you asked half the people that have met him, they’d laugh at the idea that there was anything extraordinary about him. He can’t even make eye contact, and mumbles things no one understands. You couldn’t take him anywhere for fear he’d have people questioning you for bringing him.” Ben says, like it made him better than Justin.

And I saw it, the way Justin saw it in me; Ben hated that Justin was important to me. He hated the idea that Justin held my attention. It was my mistake for letting Ben in my bed in order to get him to watch over Justin for me. Only now I was on the other side, with an opponent who wasn’t going to slink silently away, because Justin interested him.

“I need you to give me a reason not to send you back to your dreary existence.” I tell him, wanting to roll my eyes when lust filled his eyes. “I need to know about Brian Kinney. What motivates him, and how to get him to leave Justin alone.” I tell him.

“What do you expect me to be able to find out that your people couldn’t?” Ben asks.

“My people can tell me what he does, what he eats or won’t eat, but they can’t tell me exactly who I’m dealing with. Find a way into Brian Kinney’s world. Then find something I can use to get rid of him.” I tell Ben.

“How?” Ben asks.

“Unlike Justin, Brian has people in his life. Find a way through them. If I have to tell you how to do it, then maybe you’re as useless as I’m beginning to believe you are.” I snap.

BRIAN 

I didn’t want to leave, worried that if I did, I’d come back to find him the way I found him yesterday. He kept saying what he was doing was almost finished, and I made him promise to call me if he needed me. It wasn’t until I got home that I really thought about Justin saying people watched him. I knew he lied when he told me there was nothing to worry about, and could tell pushing for the answer wouldn’t get one. It was just, what does Justin do that would require people to watch him? 

Thinking about what Emmett said, I knew part of it was wanting Justin to know he had someone if he needed me. But it wasn’t the same as it was with Mikey. I had to pretty much force my way into Justin’s life, when he seemed to only want to be outside of it. It wasn’t the same, because I wanted Justin to know he would be the one I went to when I needed someone. It’s why I told him about my family, because for once I knew he wouldn’t see it as a sob story, it was just what made me who I was. I had no plan to be his hero, but just be there to do what he did for me, let me know someone was there when it felt like no one understood me.

I got up, deciding it was time to show my face after Mikey had time to deal with knowing we’d only ever be friends. When I got to the diner everything was normal. The guys were sitting at a booth with Deb talking their ears off. Emmett looked at me, as if asking how it went and I nodded to him, then returned his attention to the conversation at the table. I sat next to Mikey, while Deb ran to get me coffee.

“Michael met someone.” Deb tells me, handing me my coffee.

“He was just talking to us.” Mikey blows off.

“He might have started talking to us, but he spent the whole night wanting to know about you.” Emmett tells us, as Mikey blushes.

“I would have wanted to do more than talk to the guy. The man was built in all the right places, wasn’t he Michael?” Ted teases.

“It doesn’t matter, he left without even asking to see me again.” Mikey tells me.

“Where did you meet him?” I ask, since this was the most interest Mikey’s ever shown in a guy.

“At Woody’s. He invited us to play a game of pool, then spent the rest of the night with Michael.” Emmett tells me, when Mikey fiddled with his glass.

“I think he was just looking for someone to talk to, I think he’s new around here.” Mikey dismisses.

“Michael, he listened to your entire life story. I think it was more than hoping for the insider scoop of Liberty Avenue.” Emmett tells him.

“I guess. Maybe you could come out with us and tell me what you think.” Mikey suggests.

“We can go tonight, unless something comes up.” I tell him, knowing if Justin called Mikey would have to wing it alone tonight.

Mikey looked like he wanted to argue, but instead started making plans for the night. I got up to get some work done, before we met up. Emmet left behind me, following me to my car. I didn’t stop him, because he was now someone I could tell about Justin.

“Did he eat?” Emmett asks.

“Yes, and I’m sure he’d want to thank you, but I didn’t tell him you were there.” I tell him.

“Would that have been a problem?” Emmett asks.

“Justin is just... shy, for lack of a better word. Painfully shy if you want the truth. From what little he told me, he grew up feeling isolated. It’s why I don’t want to bring to many people around him unless he wants them to be there.” I tell him.

“You want me to understand and not overwhelm him with all that’s me.” Emmett jokes.

“I need someone I can call to check on him, if I can’t be there. What I didn’t tell you was finding him not just hungry, but exhausted. He gets lost in what he does and needs to be pulled away from it. Only right now, he might not respond to you, but you’ll be able to tell me if I need to get to him.” I tell him.

“You’re that worried about him, but you just met him?” Emmett asks.

“It doesn’t seem to matter that we just met. I feel different when I’m with him.” I tell Emmett.

“Are you interested in him?” Emmett asks.

I parked the car and got out without answering. Of course I was, it was in everything I’d been doing from the moment we shared a night watching each other. Only Justin wasn’t ready for me to be more than a friend. Emmett followed me up to the loft, then sat around while I worked on ideas for a campaign. It took everything in me to keep my mind on work, and not to call Justin. I typed up my ideas and sent them to Cynthia, realizing even I lost track of time. Emmett was in the bathroom getting ready and I realized he’d left and came back while I was working. My phone stayed silent, and not wanting to crowd Justin, I got dressed to check out Mikey’s new interest.

Ted and Mikey were sitting at a table in the back of Woody’s when I got there. I looked around, not really interested in the men eyeing me. I got the idea that Justin wouldn’t really care if I did trick, but tonight I really didn’t want to. Emmett and Ted were joking around while Mikey would try to pretend he wasn’t watching the door. By nine, none of us wanted to stay waiting around with Mikey. Mikey told us he would catch up with us later, so we left. I wanted to tell him to make the guy work for his attention. I trailed behind Emmett and Ted, giving in to the need to hear from Justin. The phone rang with no answer, I texted him, hoping he’d see it and text me back. 

“Michael really seems interested.” Emmett commented.

“Ben would interest most guys.” Ted says looking at me.

“Ben?” I ask.

“That’s the name he told us, why?” Emmett asks.

“Just a name that I’ve heard before. I need to go.” I tell them.

“Call if you need me.” Emmett tells me, yanking Ted off with him.

I went back to Woody’s, hoping I was wrong. But not knowing if it meant anything if this Ben was the Ben from Justin’s house. Mikey was still sitting in the same place, looking miserable by himself. I didn’t go over to see him, instead wanting to see Justin right now.

JUSTIN

I got up from my desk, looking to see what time it was. I’d been doing the work Julian demanded, to keep him from showing up. He’d emailed me, saying he’d be at my door if I didn’t get what he needed done. I stood in the shower, planning to go sit by the water instead of looking for Brian. Only I was never really alone when I went there. I didn’t want to sit at my window. I just wanted a place I could go since I slept so much that I knew it would be hard to even try again. I didn’t want to deal with Julian right now by going near Brian. 

Brian was about to knock when I opened my front door. He studied my face, before saying anything.

“Were you going somewhere?” He asks.

It was an easy question, something I’m sure most people could answer without a problem. Only what I needed was to be able to clear my head. I didn’t want to talk right now.

“I can go.” Brian offered.

“I… it’s just… I need a place where I can just… not have to do anything.” I said, worried.

“Like the place by the water?” He asks.

“It just has to be… without a lot of people around. ” I tell him.

“Including me?” He asks.

“No. But talking… it’s too much.” I tell him, looking at my shoes.

Brian lifted my head to look at him. Something that would have irritated me if anyone else did it.

“You said people watch you, do they when you go there?” Brian asks.

“They’re somewhere… I ignore it.” I tell him.

“I have somewhere they can’t go.” Brian tells me.

“You don’t have to…”

“I want to. Even if we just sit, not saying anything to each other. I need to ask you something, but it can wait if you don’t want to talk right now.” Brian tells me.

“I don’t.” I tell him, since he seemed okay with it.

We got in Brian’s car, and he drove us through the busiest parts of Pittsburgh, places I avoided.  Only stopping at a store and running in before coming out with a couple bags. He didn’t give me a clue what he was doing. The next stop was his place, I wasn’t sure why he thought this would work. Brian’s loft to me wasn’t what I needed. It made my mind go crazy, seeing it didn’t represent the Brian I knew. 

“Trust me.” Brian said opening his door. 

He handed me the bags from the store and grabbed blankets and pillows, before pulling me out of the loft, and locking his door. I followed him up the stairs that led to the roof, and stood like an idiot while he arranged the blankets. It was dark, up away from all the lights, and I closed my eyes, letting him do what he was doing.

“Lay down with me.” Brian said, breaking the silence around us.

At first I was on the edge of the blankets, sitting stiffly. Brian didn’t say anything, just held out a hand. I stared at it as if I didn’t know what it was, but slowly reached for him. He didn’t pull me, but let me move on my own. I started on my back looking up into the night, not closing my eyes because seeing the endless sky was enough for me. Brian was on his side, and when I looked over at him, he had his eyes closed. It made it easier for me to turn towards him. He didn’t open his eyes when I put my head on his pillow, or when I leaned my forehead to touch his. I studied what little I could see of his face. And did something I never thought I would. I touched my lips to his, just to know what it felt like to kiss someone.