BRIAN

Finding what we were looking for should have been easy considering Justin’s house had minimal furnishings and even less material things. Nothing in the house was out of place from the way we left it. Maybe Julian was waiting, but why would he if he could save himself from ruin? Even if they caught him at the house Julian could excuse it and no one could search him since all we had was Kip Thomas, who wasn’t credible given what we now knew about him. I’d been here before, but seeing it being emptied room by room, which didn’t take long, opened my eyes even more about Justin’s life. Hill didn’t seem surprised at how little Justin really owned.

“He spent most of his life only being allowed to keep what could be carried out with him. It’s a hard habit to break if it’s all you know. Until a few years ago, and due to enough outrage, most foster kids were only given a garbage bag to carry their things. It wasn’t enough that they knew they were disposable by the way they were shuffled around, the system rammed it home by shoving their possessions in a garbage bag.” He told me, shaking his head.

“Justin doesn’t complain about it.” I tell him.

“Even if he did, who would really listen? Reports about Justin as a child only stated he was antisocial, and that he was lucky in his placement because the families were decent. After his intelligence was revealed he became homed in the schools. They made sure he was provided for materially, but other than that Justin was left to take care of himself. ” Ben tells me.

“I didn’t talk to them because there was nothing to say.” Justin said from behind us. “I don’t think it’s here. Julian wouldn’t have made it hard to get it back. And Ben or I would have noticed if he tore out part of the floor or a wall, or moved anything, since there aren’t that many places to put anything.” He said, rolling his eyes when his shadows caught up to him.

Hill ordered Justin to have two guards with him around the clock until this was over. Justin didn’t argue, even when I could see he wanted to. He knew they weren’t going to risk Julian getting a hold of Justin after listening to Kip Thomas. And I knew they saw career makers in bringing Julian down. They also saw this as a way to Justin. I could see he was interested in what they did, and they could see the value in using him to make their jobs easier and faster. 

When we agreed to stay at George’s estate, Hill looked relieved. I started to wonder about Hill’s interest in Justin. After he figured out that Justin was part of all this he went from suspicious to almost treating him like a son who needed to be taken care of. 

As Justin’s house was torn apart from top to bottom, he watched it without any real emotion. They left people behind to search again, since the item was small. I doubted it was here because if it was Julian wouldn’t have risked going after Justin for something he could get to by sending someone else to get it from wherever he put it.

“Maybe Kip made it up.” Caraway tells us.

“He might have, but I’ve seen Julian with one when I was… with him. He seemed to always have one on him.” Ben tells them.

“You didn’t bother to try to find out what it was?” Hill asks.

“At the time I was told not to do anything that would jeopardize my cover, unless I got results. Like what your boys were doing when they didn’t bust the bullshit they were seeing.” Ben says defensively.

“There’s nothing here. I keep trying to think about where he would have hidden it, because if I ever ran across it, my curiosity would have made me check to see what was on it. Even if we caught him here, until recently he’d come and gone from here often and he could have said he just wanted to talk to me about walking away from my job. ” Justin tells them, ignoring the tension.

“Any place Julian would need you to be in order to retrieve it? Think of it from that angle.” Hill tells us.

“Not really. My life was this house and occasional visits to the office.” Justin tells them.

“What about clothes or shoes, or something that he could have hidden it in without you knowing.” Hill asks.

“I really don’t own that much.” Justin tells him, which seemed to sadden all of us.

“Plus, until recently Julian wouldn’t have needed a reason to hide anything. Which means it’s something he did recently and he likely put it somewhere you normally wouldn’t have looked for a thumb drive.” Hill tells him.

“Maybe the stuff I left in the back of my closet. I put it there when I moved in two years ago. Only, it’s just junk that I never threw away.” Justin tells them.

“Other than the stuff we took to George’s house. That’s still in my storage area.” I tell them.

We went to my loft, which no one had been watching, but now would since Hill and Caraway ordered it. Everything looked the way we’d left it. And the boxes were still piled the same way we left them the other day. It made me think Julian knew it wasn’t here. I’d been pretty sure we’d find the boxes missing if what we were looking for was in there. They searched every item. Most of it was just memorabilia from his life. Anything else was at George’s house. So I texted Cynthia and Ted to have them start looking while we were on our way there. Ben went through the clothing in Justin’s bag that was still in the middle of the floor after the shit Ames tried to do and we came up with nothing.

Hill left a few guys behind just in case, and told them we’d be at George’s house if they found anything. As we were walking to the cars, Justin stopped. 

“Remember when we were leaving and Julian was here?” He asked me.

“What about it?” I asked.

JUSTIN

Standing outside the loft, something was bothering me. Why did Julian come to the loft that day? It wasn’t like he didn’t  know I wasn't going to change my mind, and talking to me would just be a waste of his time. I tried to think back to the whole meeting, going through all the possibilities of why he followed us here. Why would he care if I worked for him when what he was looking for was more important to his survival? Nothing he said gave me much of a clue.

“What made him come here? At that point, all his focus should have been on finding it, not me.” I tell Brian.

“When did you guys start watching Justin’s house?” Brian asked.

“It’s always been under surveillance, but never like it is now.” Hill tells us.

“I still managed to get out when they were watching. I just left a different way. Apparently no one bothered to watch the back, and got lax since I tended to stick to a pattern when I did anything.” I tell them.

“For years, Justin’s pattern was consistent, and we weren’t sure what his part in all this was, just believed he was involved in some way. But no one thought Julian was, so no one would have done more than record that Julian had been at the house. I can check, but the only time that I remember Julian’s name being in the notes was right after Justin and Brian stayed on the roof of Brian’s loft all night. Julian went in the house before Justin came home, then waited until Justin walked up the steps of the house. According to the agent, he reported it only because Julian was confrontational will Ben.” Hill tells us, looking at Ben.

“How long have you known what I was doing with Julian?” Ben asked.

“We didn’t. The only thing we were told was not to go near you.” Caraway tells him.

I ignored them. I was trying to figure out what it was that bothered me about Julian being here that day. For the most part he was focused on me, but for a second he was focused on Brian. I figured it was some warped form of jealousy, but there was something else.

“Do you remember when he looked at you?” I asked Brian.

“Not really. I just wanted to get you away from him.” He tells me.

“Maybe I’m wrong but he looked worried when you were getting in the car.” I tell him, still not sure where I was going with this.

“He did look worried. But I thought it was because you weren’t backing down. He believes Brian is the reason.” Ben tells me.

“With everything else going on why would that be something other than annoying to him?” Brian asks.

“That’s just it, even if he was… jealous of us, that wouldn’t worry him, just piss him off. You got in the car, that’s it.” I tell him, feeling like I’m still missing something.

LINDSAY

Gus was gnawing away at the small teddy bear Brian handed to me. When he went to sleep I took it with me, planning to sew it up. My father kissed Gus’s cheek, about to leave and do whatever he and George had been talking about.

“Where did you get that?” Dad asks me.

“It belonged to Justin.” I tell him.

“He collects high end Teddy Bears?” Dad asks.

“No. It was left with him by the person who left him at birth. Justin’s had it all his life. Brian gave it to me for Gus when Justin said he wanted him to have it. Why did you call it high end?” I ask.

“These bears are made specifically for each customer. When Gus was born, I wanted to get him one, and still plan to, but the maker is backlogged with orders. Each bear is one of kind. I need to get going, but I’ll be back. Call me if you need anything.” He tells me.

”Why do you think this is one of them?” I ask. 

“Because I saw one like it as an example I could use to base Gus’s bear on.” He tells me.

I gave my dad a hug, thankful to have him in my life. Here I was complaining in my head about being protected and cared for while Justin gave my son the one thing that must have meant something to him.  When I tried to argue that Justin should keep it, Brian told me about it. It made me want to cry, suddenly feeling like my problems were insignificant when compared to Justin's. Emmett being Emmett came over to me putting his arm around me.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

“During all of this, Mel and I supported Brian and did what he asked, but there was part of me that hated that our lives were being affected by all of this.” I tell him.

“Justin didn’t want any of you to be affected by what was happening. Understand that.” Emmett tells me, making me smile at how protective they all seem to be about Justin.

“I would have chased Justin down if he tried to deal with this alone. I don’t blame Justin for anything. It’s just I realized how petty my thoughts could be. Mel and I moved here, are waited on hand and foot, and yet all I saw was us being inconvenienced. Brian offers me a job and we solved my father’s involvement with Gus in Brian’s eyes. All this, as horrible as it is, solved problems we weren’t sure we could solve. And still I felt inconvenienced by it. Then Justin gives this to Gus.” I tell him, showing the bear to him. “This was the only thing of Justin’s that linked him to someone.” I tell him.

“If it could talk, maybe.” He tells me.

“If only it could. But he gave it to Gus. Justin didn’t go out and buy this. It was his. The one thing left with him at birth. Do you know how special he must view Gus to let it go?” I ask him.

“Very. But we all see how special Gus is.” Emmett tells me, looking at the tear in the ear. “I could sew this up better.” Emmett tells me.

“I planned to do that. Only I got distracted thinking of what Justin’s life must have been like.” I tell him.

“I think he views it like all of us do. It’s just life. What’s happening now Justin could have walked away from, instead he chose to fight for the ones who can’t fight for themselves. Something we all believe in. And when you think about it, it’s about more than just talking, it’s helping in any way we’re needed.” Emmett tells me.

“I’m not really doing anything. Mel’s helping Ted, George, and Hunter. Michael let himself get caught so Justin wouldn’t disappear. You’re keeping everyone calm.” I tell him.

“You don’t see yourself as doing anything? Honey, Brian needs to know Gus is safe and loved, so he can help Justin. You’re doing that for him. You’re also helping him with his new venture, when he can’t be there.” Emmett tells me.

“Cynthia could take care of what Brian needs done without me.” I tell him.

“She could. But Brian asked you.” He tells me, handing back the Teddy Bear. “What did you mean ‘if only it could talk’?” He asks, stopping.

“My dad said the bear was made for the owners. It’s not the kind that are massed produced. If this is really one of a kind then it could link Justin to the person who left it with him.” I tell him, thinking about it.

“Just do Justin one favor, if what your thinking ends up being more than a thought,” Emmett tells me.

“What?” I ask.

“Let him decide if he wants the answers.” He tells me, leaving the room.

I texted my Dad to get the information on the person who makes the bears. I wasn’t sure why I went ahead with this but I’d do what Emmett asked and let Justin decide what he would do if anything came of this. I looked again at the rip, feeling to see if I needed more stuffing for the ear before sewing it shut. I felt something hard in the middle of it. Then sat there wondering why there was a thumb drive in the ear. I put it my pocket then set to sewing it shut. Mel came in distracting me, and I needed it so I let her lead me to the bedroom, forgetting about anything but Mel.

EMMETT

After checking to make sure everyone was calm and not planning assassination attempts I planned to slipped out to help my Georgie. Because hearing about this monstrous family told me there was something we were missing. I honestly didn’t expect his son to agree to meet me, but maybe he was curious about the ‘gold digger’ the family likely referred to me as. George and I knew why we were together and I never really cared what they thought. George admitted he was absent throughout most of this children’s life, but he still loved them. He just couldn’t deal with Virginia's demands that he live the way she wanted him to. I didn’t really get how all of them didn’t get frostbitten just by being near the woman. I let George’s driver take me where I wanted to go and told him I’d make my own way back before getting out and walking two blocks over to the diner.

George Jr looked uncomfortable sitting in the diner but he showed up. I made him wait as I talked to Deb and told her what we knew. Which wasn’t much since Brian hadn’t contacted us since they left the house. I gave her an order since it would likely piss George Jr off that I made him wait. I waved to all the guys who said hi before sitting down in front of him and the menu he was reading like it held the secrets to life.

“Sorry, I hate ignoring the important people in my life.” I tell him.

“How about we deal with my offer first?” He asks me. And even, though I shouldn’t have been, I was surprised by it.

“The only time I will I leave George is when George asks me to. I don’t want or need your money. My relationship with George isn’t about dollar signs. Since he still wants me around, nothing you or your mother thought up will work. I want to keep George from doing something that could get him in trouble, because he wants to disembowel Carter Yates for you.” I tell him.

“What are you talking about?” He asks.

“Do you really want me to explain it here? While everyone here looks like they’re not paying attention to us, they are. I know you and your mother are all about appearances. Of course, you might not worry about a bunch of gay men gossiping about George’s son being at the diner. It’s not like you have anything to hide. Or do you?” I ask.

“This conversation is over.” George tells me, starting to stand up, just as Deb blocks his path, making him sit again.

“Sit down and eat something. Then when Emmett’s through you can go.” Deb tells him, in her way of making sure the listener knows better than to defy her. It worked and he looked resigned to stay.

“Lindsay related your story to us about Carter. Your father is willing to kill the asshole, because unlike your mother and all of you, he doesn’t slam the door on you or any one who hurts his children. He loves you and wants to show Carter his idea of what should have been done to someone who hurts his children. Carter… Well, lets just say there are many idea’s, none of which I know or would admit to knowing. I’d rather George just ruin all the assholes. But I want to know it won’t end up hurting George if he finds out something different than what you told Lindsay.” I tell him.

“What makes you think I have anything to hide?” He asks me.

“Because your mother taught you to hide anything that would ruin the perfect family image y'all think is important. I have no problem believing Carter is a sick pervert. My only question is, just how did you end up alone with him?” I ask him.

“Why do you want to know?” He asks, looking anywhere but at me.

“What made you agree to go with Carter?” I asked, ignoring his question.

“I didn’t want to have sex with him.” He tells me, not answering.

“I didn’t imply you did. Unless I’m wrong and my gaydar is way off, you’re straight. It’s why I picked here to meet, because if you weren’t, you would have looked around instead of heading to this table pretending you wanted to eat from here.” I tell him.

“It was nothing.” He says nonchalantly.

“Understand something. Whatever it was, when your father catches up to Carter, what do you think are the chances Carter will tell him? I’d say they were pretty high, since he doesn’t know the George I do. Carter would think like your kind does, that George will do whatever it takes to avoid ruining the family name. Which won’t matter to George, since he still loves you no matter how you treat him. I don’t want George blindsided by anything when he does what your mother wouldn’t. I love George too much to let that happen and I guess I’m hoping that for once you love your father enough to make sure he knows what he could be walking into.” I tell him.

“You think he’d care even if whatever it is you think I’m hiding will come out? Like you said, he couldn’t give a shit if we were dragged through the mud. Which we were when he moved out and started living like a hermit. Everyone knows why he did it. And while no one says anything to our faces, we know it happens behind our backs. Then he has to make it public with you. Reopening all the things we’ve managed to get past.” He sneers at me.

“That bad? Let me think before you try to distract me with your tale of how hard living off your father was for you. What would be bad enough for your mother to hide the fact that you were almost raped? You were young enough, and the family had enough money to hide your name, so that couldn’t be it. Were you curious, and in the end your mother didn’t need anyone thinking you were like what she already knew your father? That you were gay… No, that wouldn’t be it, because you aren’t. I can keep going, or you could just tell me.” I tell him.

“That’s up to you. So far you’re just proving my father wasn’t looking for an intellectual equal when it came to you.” He tells me.

“That might have hurt if your opinion of me mattered. Wait… How about Carter had something on you? I could see that, since the whole family seems to work that way.” I tell him, watching the clenching of his hands. “Whatever it was had not just you, but your friends families turning Carter into an outcast among his peers. From what I hear it was no easy feat, because the Yates were richer than all of you. Are we going to keep going, or are you going to make sure I have a way of protecting you?” I ask.

“You protecting me!?” He says, barely holding back the look of disbelief.

“It’s the only way I can protect George. Which means I protect all of you.” I tell him.

George Jr debated for a minute before getting up and walking towards the door. Deb looked to me and I shook my head. I tried, but in the end I’d help George deal with what his son wouldn’t help us with. I got up and walked out behind him. Instead of heading back, I wandered down the street, just window shopping. I got a couple of blocks before a car pulled up.

“Get in.” George Jr tells me.

“I don’t see any reason, since neither of us has anything the other wants to hear.” I tell him.

“My mother was sleeping with her best friend’s minor son. I was selling drugs to half the club kids and a few of the upstanding founders. And then I managed to knock up the maid’s daughter, who my mother paid off, not wanting my life ruined by the help.” He whispers.

“I don’t care what happens to your mother. Understand that. And you will tell your father where to find his grandchild. If you people could just admit that you’re fucked up, then no one could do this shit to you. I guess there’s actually something good about being born poor. Because nothing about being born like you seems to be any prize.” I tell him.