Chapter 10

“Brian!” was Dan’s automatic response as he jumped off the ladder he was on and he ran down the two flights of stairs to the bottom where Brian laid in a heap. It was obvious there was something wrong with his right leg but worse than that was the pool of blood that was growing around his head.  He took a couple deep breaths as he hit 911. He gave them the addressed and surveyed for injuries while the operator was still on the line. Dan’s past military training kicked in. He could see a large gash on Brian’s scalp. Dan winced as he remembered seeing Brian’s head hit the banister on the second floor. He couldn’t tell if his wrist was broken or not.  It had a lot of swelling already. Looking at his pelvis and leg he was knew there was at least one break there. He was sure if he opened the pants leg the bone had broke through the skin. He grabbed towels out of the bathroom and carefully wrapped Brian’s head in one. He then slit Brian’s pants to view the injury. He was careful not to move the leg. It didn’t appear to be bleeding too bad so he just put towels around it to help stabilize it for now.

Dan opened the door so when the ambulance arrived they could get in.  He went back to Brian’s side. Brian moaned in pain. “Hey, Buddy, lay still.  Don’t try to move. You fall a hell of a long way so lay still, OK? Brian mouthed something.  “Don’t try to talk. I hear the ambulance.” Again Brian moved his lips. Dan leaned over to try to hear him. “Ok, Brian, I am listening.  What is it?”

“Sunshine.” Brian lapsed back into unconsciousness as the Paramedics walked in.

Dan rode in the ambulance with Brian but he did not regain consciousness.  Brian was rushed into emergency. Dan tried to answer the questions the best he could.  He didn’t know much medically about him. He did know he had cancer a few years back but nothing more than that.

Dan was asked to wait in the waiting room and to make any calls that needed to be made. That sounded ominous to him.  How was he going to call Justin? He knew things weren’t good their. What would he say? He decided to call Daphne first.  She would be able to get in touch with friends and family in Pittsburgh and she needed to be ready for Justin.

Daphne’s phone rang in the wee hours of the morning.  “Ya.”

“Hey,Daphne, it’s Dan. Is Gale there with you?”

Daphne thought that was an odd question.  Why did Dan care if her boyfriend was spending the night?  “Ya, he is. What’s up?”

Dan went on to tell her what had happened.  “Oh, God, does Justin know?”

“I am calling him next but I was wondering if you could call whoever needs to know in Pittsburgh? The Dr. said I needed to make calls.”

“Dan, is he really that bad?”

“I don’t know, Daph.  I just don’t know.”

Dan’s next call was to Jarod. Jarod’s training put him at attention immediately. “Dan.”

“Ya, it’s me.  I can’t explain anything right now but there’s been an accident and Justin is going to need you.”

“Dan what is it?”

“It’s Brian.  He’s alive but Justin needs to get here ASAP. I’m calling him now.”

Next he called Justin. What was he going to say.  Justin picked up groggily. “Dan? “What time is it?” As Justin’s mind started waking up his tone changed. “Dan, why are you calling me at,” there was a pause, “it’s 1:00 am there. Dan,” Now with real tension in his voice, “What’s wrong? What’s happened? Dan!” By now Jarod had entered from the joined room and slipped his arm around his friend.

“Brian and I were working at the house and he fell off a step ladder.”

Justin let out a little sign. A fall from a step ladder couldn’t be so bad. Nervously he said, “Did he break his arm? Dan? Sprain his ankle?” Jarod tightened his grip on Justin and took the phone from him, putting it on speaker.

“Dan, I put you on the speaker. “Thanks, Jarod. Justin, Brian fall from the 3rd floor down the open staircase. He hit his head on the banister on the second floor and then landed at the bottom of the stairs. “Justin, you need to be on the next flight out here.”

“Dan, this is Jarod, I have him on the 5:00 AM flight out of Midway. He should land at Newark at 8:00 am.  I’ve already texted the information to Daphne. She will pick him up. I will pack him a bag and send the rest of his stuff later.” Justin sat motionless next to Jarod on the side of the bed. Jarod stood and took a couple steps away, taking the phone off speaker.  “How, bad is it?”

“Right now I honestly don’t know.  The Dr. just told me to get people here.  It isn’t good.”

Jarod hung up and sat next to Justin again. “Justin, baby, we need to get you packed.  You’re going to fly back to New York. I wish I could go with you but I need to stay here and take care of the show. Justin?”

“There’s nothing wrong with Brian.  They are just figuring out a way to trick me into coming home.  I told him I wouldn’t come home unless he told me he wanted me to. Brian just doesn’t want to ask me.”  As Justin talked he started speaking faster and faster. Jarod could see and hear the fear creeping in. Justin then quit talking and started shaking. He turned toward Jarod and clung to him. “Jarod, Jarod, nothing can happen to him.  Jarod, I have been so mean. Jarod…”

Jarod tightened his hold on Justin, smoothing his sleep tousled hair. He kissed Justin’s forehead. He then squared him so they faced each other. “Justin, you have to pull yourself together for Brian.  He needs you,” he said firmly. “He is the man you love. He owns your soul and you own his. He needs you there to fight with all his soul!” He pulled Justin close and gave him a kiss, not one of passion, but one of strength. “You can do this.  You need to do this. Now pack your carry on and, if need be, I will send the rest of your stuff later.”

Jarod went with him to the airport and left him at security after a long hug and kiss. He watched Justin as he walked down the terminal.  Jarod wished he could have gone with him to the gate. He hated the thought of Justin having to sit there waiting by himself. He had never believed in miracles or prayer but his father just dropped into his life.  He prayed there was at least one more miracle left in this cosmos for Brian and Justin. Leaving a text for Dan that his flight was on time, Jarod headed back to the hotel to hopefully get a little sleep before having to explain things to the gallery.

Justin had very little memory of the flight.  He remember drinking some orange juice and a very kind flight attendant checking on  him frequently. He must have looked bad if a stranger noticed. It would never cross his mind that she was trying to flirt.

Dan waited in the hospital for word.  The Dr. had come out once and said they hoped he would be stable enough to take him into surgery soon.  They were still worried about internal injuries not to mention the crushed pelvis but right now they needed his brain activity to stabilize a little.  He was too shocky to put under. When he was allowed he sat next to his bed. One time when he walked in a nurse said, “Excuse me, but do you know why he keeps asking if there is sunshine out there? That is the only word he has said and it has only been a few times.”

“Sunshine is what he calls his boyfriend.  He is on his way. Justin, Sunshine, was in Chicago.   He will be landing soon.”

“Maybe when his Sunshine arrives he will  be less agitated. He can’t seem to settle down.”

Dan hoped that was true.  Considering the strain between them lately he wasn’t so sure.

Daphne and Gale arrived at the airport.  Gale stayed with the vehicle while Daphne went in.  They had checked on the way over and his flight should have landed 30 minutes ago.  Hopefully it taxied in and Justin was close to the pick up area. Daphne could only imagine the state Justin was in.  She was glad it had been a direct flight. She wasn’t sure he would have made it if he had a layover.

She saw him before she could really recognize him.  She recognized his walk and shape but there was no spring in his step. The second she was able she wrapped her arms around him. That was the moment Justin fell apart. Sobs racked his body. “Please, Daph, tell me he’s not….please…..”

“No, Justin.  Last I heard he was holding his own but he was asking for you.”

“It’s all my fault. I should have told him I would come home. I should have made him listen. I should have never gone.”

Daphne was going to stop him but she knew he wasn’t listening to anything.  His body was just a vessel of shuttering nerves right now. She started leading him to the door where Gale would be waiting. She got in the back seat and held him talking softly.She was actually glad for the traffic.  It gave her more time to get him calmed down. She started asking him questions he knew the answers to. It made him think and concentrate. “Justin, we are getting close to the hospital. You are going to need to hold it together, OK?  If Brian is awake he can’t see you fall apart. Oh, I forgot to tell you Michael, Emmett, and Ted are on their way too. They may be there for all I know. I haven’t heard from Dan in a while.”

Justin melted again. He quietly sobbed. “Justin, what is it?”

“It just makes it more real. They wouldn’t come unless he was…..”

“Stop thinking that way.  He is going to need you. You know he isn’t going to leave you.” But she thought ‘at least he will put a big fight”! She had seen the progression of their relationship crumbling. That wasn’t the right word because she knew they would come out of it but it was definitely on rocky ground the last few weeks.

Gale got out and opened the door for Daphne.  Justin and Daphne got out. Gale gave Daphne a hug and said.  “If you need me give me a call. I am going to the office and field calls.”

Daphne knew what floor they needed thanks to a text from Dan.  All the sudden from behind long arms wrapped around Justin. “Hey, Baby.  How ya, doin’?” There stood Emmett, with Ted, and Michael. Justin turned into Emmett’s body and clung to him.  

“Hey, guys, you been upstairs yet?”

“No,” Michael responded very anxiously.  “I need to get up and see him.” Ted put a hand on Michael’s arm.  

“Justin needs to see Brian first.”

Daphne took Justin from Emmett’s embrace and headed to the elevators.  Michael took a step forward but Ted continued to hold him where he was.  “We’ll be up in a few minutes.” Ted said to

Daphne.

Michael meant well and he really did care about Brian but right now it had to be about Justin and Brian.

The elevator doors opened onto ICU.  Dan was out of his chair as soon as he saw Justin come off.  He wrapped his arms around him. “I am so sorry, Justin. It is all my fault.  I thought the distraction would be good. I thought….” his words trailed off. “He’s been asking for you.  They aren’t sure how much he is aware of but he keeps saying Sunshine.”

Justin was definitely in shock himself.  He was pale and shaking. His skin was clammy.  Daphne looked at him. “Are you OK to go in there? Dan maybe you better give him an idea what he is heading into.”

Dan nodded.  “Brian sustained a major head wound, a severe break to his leg and pelvis.  And they think he has internal bleeding.”

“What are they doing about it?”  Justin flaired to life. “Why haven’t they operated?”  

“He hasn’t been stable enough. They are hoping you being here might help him calm down.”

“Take me to him.”

“It isn’t that easy in ICU.  We have to wait until they tell us we can go ini.”

“I want to see him now!”

“Justin.”

“Now.”

“I will see what I can do.” Dan walked to the nurse’s station.

:A minute later he was standing next to Justin.   “You can go in but have to promise you will stay calm and quiet.”

Justin started walking across the lobby to a door he just knew was Brian’s. The nurse stood there baffled. She knew no one had told this young man where his lover was.  He just knew.

He walked into the room as quietly as possible.  He froze. His vital, energetic love lay motionless on the bed.  

A tear rolled down his cheek followed by another and then another.

The nurse was standing by the door just to make sure Brian didn’t have an unexpected reaction. As he watched he couldn’t believe it.  Nothing had been said and the patient hadn’t opened his eyes but he reached out as his ‘Sunshine’ came closer.

Justin gently took his hand and softly said. “Hey, Baby, I came as soon as I could.  I am sorry I wasn’t here.”

At Justin’s touch he started trying to move around causing severe pain.

“No, Baby, you have to settle down.” Ever so gently he put  his hands on his shoulders and leaned very close putting his mouth by his ear.  I love you, Baby. You have to stay calm so they can operate on you. I will be here waiting.  Tears fell from his eyes and landed on Brian’s face.

“Sunshine.”  Justin brushed his lips on Brian’s mouth.  The nurse noticed Brian’s vital signs started stabilizing

Justin notice the beeps and looked at the nurse. She motioned for him to go on.  “Hey, Bri, remember walking in the rain in Austin? And the ice cream.” The nurse was sure she saw the corners of his mouth twitch. “Remember,” Justin began singing.

'Cause all of me

Loves all of you

Love your curves and all your edges

All your perfect imperfections

Give your all to me

I’ll give my all to you

You’re my end and my beginning

Even when I lose I’m winning

'Cause I give you all of me

And you give me all of you'

He leaned over and brushed his lips to Brian’s.

Almost like on command Brian rested peacefully.

“Brian, I will be waiting right here for you, Baby.  I love you.” As he said the words his voice started quivering and he started shaking.  The nurse helped him out of the room.

Daphne and Dan each took an arm and walked him to a chair.  Dan looked at Daph, “I’m going to see if I can get him something to take.  He needs something.

There was more activity around Brian’s room.  A Dr. went in and out. He then walked over to Justin.  “It looks like your boyfriend has stabilized. The nurse tells me that’s thanks to you.  We will know a lot more once we open him up.” The Dr. saw Justin’s pale skin go ashen. “As a Dr. I am telling you need to have something to eat,” He looked at the chart, “Mr. Taylor,. And then come back to this nurse’s station and they will have something that will take the edge off your nerves. I will let you know if there are any changes.

Just then the doors of the elevator opened and Brian was wheeled out of his room toward the surgery.  Emmett, Ted, and Michael saw Brian as they pushed him past.

“Where are they taking him? I thought I would get to see him for a minute.  I’m his best friend.”

Justin made a snorting sound from where he was sitting.  He stood up and motioned for Daph to follow him. When he got beside Michael he stopped.  “Michael, you lost that title years ago. I have been Brian’s best friend for 5 years. You just won’t accept that.”

Justin stepped onto the elevator with Daph. “I can’t believe you said that to Michael.  It’s true but….”
“I don’t have time for his bullshit.  Brian could die and Mikey ‘needs’ to see him. I don’t have patience for his crap today.”

Daphne made sure Justin ate something and then had him take the pill at the nurse’s station. She found a corner for him to take a nap with his head on her lap.  They had been told it would be hours.

Dan’ ran home to shower and put on fresh clothes.  All those waiting chatted quietly. Justin had laid his phone on the end table and it beeped.  Emmett picked it up and handed it to Daphne.

“Hi Jarod.”

“Daphne? Any news?”

“Brian is in surgery.  Once he knew Justin was here he settled down enough that they felt it was safer to go in than wait.”

“How is Justin?”

Daphne could hear a hint of something besides concern there but she wasn’t sure what it was. “He is sleeping.  The Dr. gave him something just so he could relax.”

“Will you tell him I am thinking about him.”  

“Sure.  And I will have him give you a call when he feels up to it.” Daphne would hear that whole story sometime.

Time seemed to crawl by.  After about two hours Justin sat up and wiped his eyes.  He looked like a 10 year old who had just gone through a bad thunderstorm, all wide eyes and anticipation.  “Nothing yet?” Everyone shook their heads. Justin looked at his watch. “Daphne, why don’t you go home? Have Gale come pick you up.  I will be fine. Dan is back and the guys are taking turns staying here. They got a hotel room around the corner.”

She yawned, “Are you sure? I hate being so far away.”

Dan had overheard the conversation.  “Have Gale bring you some clean clothes.  I got the two of you a room next door to the guys.  That way you are close in case…” He didn’t finish the sentence.

A half hour later Daphne had left and they still waited.

Finally what seemed like a lifetime after they took him away the Dr. appeared. “Gentlemen,” he acknowledged all of Brian’s friends. “Mr. Taylor, I would like to go over the surgery with you.”

Justin looked around.  “Dr. these men are Brian’s family.  Please tell us what you know.” Emmett walked up beside Justin and slipped an arm around his shoulder.  Justin put his around Emmett for comfort and support.

‘Good news is there was some minor internal bleeding but we could take care of that with a few stitches here and there. His leg and pelvis are back together. He will have to be careful next time he flies but I think that should heel well.  He may have a slight limp when he gets over tired but nothing serious.”

“Dr., What aren’t you telling us.  His head.”

“Well, that is a trickier thing to figure out.  It seems like most everything is ok. There was a little bleeding on the brain but it self healed.”

“What aren’t you saying Dr.?” Emmett asked from beside Sunshine.

“We aren’t sure about his eyes. Right now it doesn’t appear he can see.  There is swelling and very likely it will go down and everything will be fine but there is a slight chance that if the pressure on the nerves lasts too long he will be blind permanently.”

“When can I see him?”

“ I will have a nurse come and get you if he starts waking up in recovery, otherwise you can go in his room when he comes up here.”

“Thanks, Dr.”  Justin paused “Has anyone seen my phone?  I need my phone. Dan, can you call Jarod, give him the update, and tell him I will call him soon.”

Justin walked to the farthest corner and pushed a button on his phone.  He paused for a couple seconds. “Mom,” and Justin crumbled.”

This time Ted was closest and guided Justin to a chair.  Ted could hear soothing words coming from the other end. When he knew Justin wasn’t listening anymore he took the phone.

“Jennifer, it’s Ted, if you want to come that is fine but we are all here for Justin.” She said she would be in touch soon.  

Justin pulled himself together before, as promised, a nurse took Justin down to recovery. Although Brian didn’t wake up, when Justin entered the room his vitals always got better. Brian was moved back up to ICU.  He was only supposed to have company 10 minutes an hour but after the nurse explained the situation to the Dr. he decided as much time as Justin wanted to spend in the room was fine. Maybe if his vitals stayed stable long enough he would wake up.  He didn’t want to say it but he was starting to wonder if he had missed something.

Justin sat by Brian’s side for hours, only leaving long enough to go to the bathroom and, when someone forces him, to eat. On the rare times Justin was away someone else would sit with him. Justin was nearing collapse.  It had been nearly 24 hours since the surgery and he hadn’t slept for more than 24 hours before that. Daphne came in to try to talk him into eating something. She found him with his head on Brian’s hand, sobbing softly. As she stood there she was sure she saw Brian’s fingers move ever so slightly.  Next she saw a finger reach up and stroked Justin’s cheek. Next his whole palm rested on Justin’s cheek. This pulled Justin out of his pain. “Brian, Baby, Brian, it’s me, Baby. You don’t know how glad I am to see you awake. I am so sorry, I love you so much!

“Sunshine, why is the room dark? I want to see you. ”

Daphne backed out and told the nurse to find the Dr.

When the Dr. arrived he asked Justin to step out while he examined him.

About 10 minutes later he came out of the room.  “Well, everything looks good. The color in his toes is good meaning circulation is good.  His sprained wrist has improved greatly already. He will be able to start physical therapy soon.” He could tell several of them were ready to interrupt him.  He held up a hand. “As for his eyes, only time will tell.”

They all took a sign of relief except Justin. Dan saw his mind working. “What are you thinking about, Justin?”

“Where are we going to go? Our place isn’t going to work with the steps.”

Dan said, “Let me worry about that.  By the time he can go home I will have something worked out.”

Justin was heading back in the room when Daphne intersected him.  “No, you are coming with me. You are coming with me to the hotel.  You are going to shower, eat, sleep.”

“But I need to be here for Brian.”

“They said he would sleep for some time and Michael is staying here. You know Michael has been dying to spend time with him.” With a little more prodding Daphne and Justin left.

Justin ate a sandwich, showered, and fell asleep at the hotel.  She left him sleep. She knew she was going to have him down her throat but he needed it. Emmett had switched placed with Michael and Brian had barely been awake in the last 8 hours. It was near 6 in the morning when Justin started tossing. “Jarod,” he called in his sleep. Now Daphne really needed the whole story.  “Brian, Daphne, what the hell, what time is it. Why did you let me sleep.”

“I left you sleep because Brian is going to need you.  You were exhausted. You were talking about Jarod in you sleep.”

“What did I say?”  There was a tone of nervous in Justin’s voice.

“You know you are going to tell me someday.  If you don’t want to tell me now that’s ok. But, face it, you will tell me sometime.”

Justin again had tears in his eyes. “Really, Justin,  if you don’t want to tell me…”

“I need to tell you.  Honest, Daph, I had not fucked around the whole trip, even though I could have.  There was some attraction between Jarod and me but other than a kiss here and there we knew our limits.  He was a friend, period. He still is but there was one night. It was the night he found out about his father.  He needed someone and it just sort of happened out of his need to feel something. Brian had given his blessing earlier but you know what he has been like.  When I told him I was Jarod’s first, Brian’s jealousy just went nuts. He wouldn’t talk to me about it anymore. All I had to do was use the work we and he shut me down.  I finally said I wasn’t coming back to New York unless he asked me to. That was the last thing I said to him before……” He dropped his head in his hands.”

“Justin, that doesn’t matter.  Brian has wanted you from day one and that hasn’t changed.  He was asking for you right after he fall. It isn’t going to be easy but you two are stuck with each other.”

Justin clung to his old friend for a time but then grabbed his clothes and got ready to head to the hospital.

Justin heard Brian before he saw him.  Coming off the elevator in ICU Brian’s voice was insistent. “No, I don’t want it.  Stop.” The nurse saw who it was and waved him over.

“Can you please see if he will listen to you?  They are just trying to draw some blood and then he will be out of ICU and in a regular room.

Before Justin was in the door of the room Brian knew he was there.  “Sunshine, Sunshine come in here.” There was pleading in Brian’s voice.

“I’m here Brian.”  He walked into the room and went right to the bed.  He took Brian’s hand, leaned over and kissed him, smoothing his hair back from his forehead.

“Sunshine, I don’t know what they are doing.  I can’t see what they are doing.”

“It’s alright, I’m here now.  They are just going to take a little blood.  You’ve had that done before.” He nodded at the phlebotomist who moved in and quickly got the blood drawn. “See, Baby, it’s all done.”

“Where were you?  I couldn’t find you?”

“I’m sorry, Baby.  I needed to get a little sleep.  I think Emmett, Michael, and Ted were here to watch over you.  We trust them, right?” Brian nodded and seemed to be getting drowsy.  “You get some sleep, Brian. I will be here. I will be close.”

Justin followed the nurse out.  “What was going on when I got here?”

“I’m sorry, he has had a bad reaction to the pain meds he is on.  Obviously we quit giving it to him and have switched to something else. He just wouldn’t listen to anyone’s voice. Can I ask you a question?” Justin nodded. “Has it always been like that? Has he always known when you are near?”

Justin hadn’t thought about it like that before. “Ya, I guess it has.”  Justin remembered walking into Babylon, with hundreds of people around, and Brian would look right at him.

“Wow.  That’s love.”

Justin smiled a bit.  “Ya, it is. So will he be moving?”

“Yes, he will be in a private room in the next couple hours. And, he should be much calmer by then.  Once he is settled in the new room the Dr. will come and talk to you both. “

He thanked the nurse and went back into Brian’s room.  He sat down next to Brian and took his hand. He kissed him again and was assured he was asleep.  He went out to the waiting room to see if anyone else was around. He was the only one there so he took advantage of it and called  Jarod.

“Justin, I have been so worried. How are you?  Is everything OK?”

“Everything’s fine and nothing is fine.” Justin was so glad to hear his friend’s voice.  “I know I have left you in a real pinch. What happened with the tour?”

“Justin, don’t worry about it.  If you are OK with it the galleries want your work to come with or without you.  I will continue with the tour in your absence. Now, Justin, how is Brian?”

Justin wished Jarod could be there.  “I could sure use you here, my friend, but Thank You for all you are doing.  Brian, is healing. Going to a regular room. But he still can’t see, Jarod.” Justin’s voice broke. “That will kill him.  Brian loves beautiful things. He……….”

“You are the only beautiful thing he needs to see and he will never forget what you look like.”  Justin felt a tear roll down his cheek. “What’s wrong.” Jarod said in a quiet, concerned voice.

“I’m just tired of crying and I can’t seem to stop.” Justin felt an arm slip around him.  He looked up into the face of his mom. “Jarod, I will call you back.” Justin choked on his words. “My mom is here.”

Jennifer wrapped her arms around her son.  This amazing, talented, intelligent man was still her baby. Justin held on to his mom for what seemed like a long time before they spoke. “Mom, I am so glad you are here. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.  I can’t stop crying half the time. I am useless.”

“When is the last time you slept or ate?”

“I went to a nearby hotel with Daphne and slept over eight hours last night.  I ate before that.”

“You need some food, Honey.  You look like you could collapse any minute.”

“Let me check with the nurse. Brian hasn’t been the most cooperative if I’m not here.”

“Go figure.  Brian Kinney not cooperating.” She smiled gently at her son and he returned it.

Justin returned.  “The nurse says we have about half an hour before they move him and he will probably sleep until then so we can go to the cafeteria and grab something.

Justin did feel better as the rode the elevator back up 30 minutes later but that changed before the doors were completely open.  He heard Brian’s voice coming from his room. He looked at his mom and headed across the room at a trot.

“Hey, Brian, I am here.  What is it? What’s the matter?”

“I didn’t know where you were.  If they moved me how would you find me?”  The Dr. had said his thought process might be confused for a few days because of the meds he was on and the head injury he had received.

“Baby, I’m here.  My mom is here, too.  We just grabbed something to eat.  If they are ready to move you I will go with you right now, OK?”

“Hi, Brian, you sure gave me a scare.” Jennifer said as she bent and kissed Brian’s cheek.

And with that Brian was quiet and calm again. Justin kissed his forehead. “I will be right behind you, OK?”

Jennifer could see first hand the strain this was on Justin but she could also see that strong determination Justin had when something had to work out.  She remembered his recovery from his own brain injury. “It will get better soon. It just takes time. You recovered and so will he.”

Justin clung to his mother silently for a few seconds and then, standing up straight, they followed Brian.

By the following weekend everyone except Ted had returned home and their lives in Pittsburgh.  They all promised to take turns coming down on weekends as the left. Ted was managing Kinnetik NYC for now.  He was staying at Justin and Brian’s. Justin popped in and out but really wasn’t there much.

By the end of the week the Dr. was mentioning Brian being released.  He was mobile enough to get around now and his moods had stabilized. He wasn’t having outbursts anymore. Well, no worse than Brian had when he was in a mood. Everything seemed to be healing well except for his vision. Justin called Dan to see what he had arranged. “Glad you called Justin.  I was just headed over to the hospital. I will be there in about half an hour.

True to his word, Dan walked into Brian’s hospital room.  He was sleeping so they ducked out into the hall. “I hope this works for you.”

“Dan, anything is fine as long as Brian can adapt to it.  I am a little worried about a strange place since he can’t see.”

“Well, it isn’t a strange place to Brian. It’s actually the house he fell in.”  Justin’s mouth dropped open. “I know, it doesn’t sound like a good solution but, honestly, I think it is the best thing.  Brian is familiar with the layout. You can have the 3rd floor.”

“How is Brian supposed to get up the stairs?”

“There is an elevator in the house. There is a bathroom and a couple bedrooms up there.  The ladies have already turned one into a sitting room for the two of you. I know you only met them for a couple seconds when they stopped by the hospital but, Justin, this will work.  You can use their kitchen and if you need to run and do a few errands one of them can sit with Brian or be available anyway. They want to do this. They feel somewhat responsible, just like I do, for him being here.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Dan.  It is called an accident for a reason.”

“Well, when Ted stops by after work we can run over there and you can look at it, Ok?”

“Ya, Ok.  Thanks, Dan.”

Several hours later, Justin stood at the bottom of the staircase looking up. “He fell all that way?”

Linda walked up beside him and put a hand on his back.  He continued, “It’s amazing he is even living.”

“We really hope you will stay here.” Linda said. “I know there are rehabs out there and that the two of you could afford a place of your own but here, Justin, you won’t have to do it alone.  Mel and I will be able to fill in some of the time when you need to be doing other things. There is actually a 3rd bedroom up there you could use as a studio. It actually was where Mel used to paint when she had younger legs. The women smiled at each other.

“Everything was younger than.” Mel winked at Linda.  The women laughed.

“Go take a look, Justin. Poke where ever you need to.  We will be down here when you are done.

Dan led the way and showed Justin the lay of the level.  Justin had to agree this would work. It wasn’t ideal but nothing would be ideal as long as Brian was whole again.  Justin just wanted him mental state and physical body to come to terms with each other. He really had no options. They were one soul.  Without Brian he wouldn’t be himself. He wasn’t going anywhere.

“Now we just have to sell Brian on the idea,” Dan said.

“You have done enough, Dan.  You don’t have to stay here for this. If I can’t convince him I’ll call you in for reinforcements.”  Justin said this to Dan as he dropped him at the hospital.

“I can go up if you want me to.”

“That’s alright. I have dealt with him before.”

Dan gave him a look. “You sure?’

“I know he isn’t easy to handle.  What you have to remember about Brian is he does everything big.  When he rebels he does it big. When he complains or feels unsure, he does it big. But when he loves he also does that big too. I can reason with him.”

“You have more wisdom than most twice your age,” They gave each other a quick kiss and Justin was out of the car. Dan did not envy him at all.

Outside Brian’s room Justin took a deep breath.  He could hear Ted talking business with Brian. He could do this.  “Hey, guys.” He kissed Ted on the cheek and then moved to Brian. He leaned down and gave him a kiss.  Brian’s arm came around and pulled him closer. This kind of reaction thrilled him. It had happened a few times now.  This was the real Brian fighting his way out.

“On that note, I will leave you two alone.”

“Ted, you don’t have to rush off, although I am sure you are ready to get home for the day.  I will be back there at some point.” Ted said his goodbyes. Just as the door closed Justin said, “I’ll be right back. Forgot to tell Ted something.  

Justin caught up with Ted at the elevator.  “I just wanted to let you know I think we have a place set to stay.  I am going to talk to Brian about it now. If I don’t make it home just figure things didn’t go too smoothly and I needed to hang here with him.”

“Do you want me to stay.”

“No, it’ll be ok just could take a lot of convincing.”

“You are the only person I know who can convince him of anything.” Ted gave him a little hug and entered the elevator.

Justin walked into Brian’s room.  “You done talking about me now?” There was almost a hint of humor in his voice.  That was a good sign.

“Actually, I told him not to wait up because I hoped to somehow have made passionate sex with you without the nurses finding out.”  

Now that actually got him to chuckle out loud.

Justin did his best to slide in next to him.  Brian reached up and found Justin’s cheek, turning his face to meet Justin’s willing lips.  It had been so long. They both greedily fed off the taste of each other. Very carefully, Justin pressed against Brian.  He wanted him to know the need he had for him. Brian groaned. Justin’s hand slid under that blankets and located the object of his need.  He knew there were stitches near his fingers. “I don’t want to do anything that will hurt you.” For a split second he thought Brian might be about to say something.

“Your touch could never hurt me, Justin.”

“But…,”

“It isn’t the time or place, but yes, we have somethings to talk about.”

Justin flinched.  He knew they would have to discuss it sometime.  Jarod was still hanging between them. He did bring his hand back up to the top of the covers.

“I know the Dr. told you he was releasing you in a couple days. You haven’t said much about it.”

“I figured you and Dan had my life planned for me already. Remember my eyes quit working which made my hearing even better.”

Justin grimaced. “We were just trying to come up with a place that would work with your leg injury.  You can’t be taking the steps.”

“Don’t forget I live in the dark. I can’t do anything.”

“Brian, we don’t know that this is permanent and if it is, you will learn to adjust.”

“So what did the two of you get arranged for my life.”

“It is for our lives.  You aren’t getting rid of me that easy. As for our temporary move, Linda and Melody want us to move in with them.  They are giving us the third floor.” Justin waited for his response but there was nothing. “Well, what do you think?”

“I didn’t know I really had a choice in the matter.” At that moment, Justin saw the look on Brian’s face. He didn’t look defiant.  Brian Kinney who was always in charge, looked defeated.

“Brian, are you listening? We didn’t do this to take control of your life.  It was to make your life easier. The last thing you needed was to have to worry about where you were going to go to heal.  I’m your partner and it’s my job to take care of you when you need it. You are always taking care of me. Just let me do this.”

“Dan thought the house would be good for us because you do know the floor plan.  And we will lay out the other rooms that make it easiest for you to get around with your crutches. And please tell me you see it.  You see how much Melody and Linda are like Mel and Lindz.”

Brian gave a genuine smile now. “Ya, especially the one time Mel was letting me have it. Actually she just pointed out how lucky I was to have someone like you and that was before she met you.  Did she tell you she was at your first exhibit. That one where we had just met. You two will have a great time”

Justin still lay on the bed next to him.  He had missed this, just being together. He was seeing glimmers of his Brian coming out again. “Do you know how bad I want to slide under that blanket and…” Just as he was ready to slide under the blankets a nurse walked in.

“So,” Brian said, “How long is sex off my no no list?”

The nurse’s face was one of both shock and humor.  She had worked with Brian often and he had never shown any sign of his personality so for him to blurt this came as a surprise.  “I’m afraid that is up to your doctor, Mr. Kinney. But my thought is if foreplay changes your attitude this much it should be a requirement at least in some form.” She winked at Justin, who was laughing at her quick response.

“His next question is going to be if the Dr. is still in the building.”  They all laughed. “I will check if he is around.”

About 10 minutes later the doctor came in the room with a smile on his face.  “I am not sure what is going on in here but I have a nurse out there that can’t stop laughing and she sent me in here.”

Brian repeated his question to the Dr.  “Well, you do realize you shattered your pelvis two weeks ago and were in ICU last week right? It is going to be some time before you are going to be able to perform up to your normal standards however, as long as you are the recipient,” he looked at Justin, “And can restrain yourself from too much activity, I don’t see a problem just remember there can be no access weight on your leg. Seriously, Brian, you will need to be very careful for at least 2 more weeks.  You don’t want to have to have another surgery.”

Justin was looking  at the Dr. for any other unsaid messages.  “Justin, do you have the address you will be going to when Brian leaves?”  

“I do, I’ll go write it down for you.”

The Dr. and Justin walked out into the hall.  “Justin, a man like Brian is obviously not used to long periods of celibacy and it has been obvious since the day you arrived that your relationship really is unique.  I honestly think he needs to know you still want him but treat him like something very delicate because breakable because he is both of those both physically and mentally. Oh, and remember, the meds he is on may have an adverse effect on things.  Make sure he realizes that if things don’t happen the way he expects them.”

Justin nodded as he went back into the room.  Brian was lying there with his eyes closed. Justin walked as quietly as he could toward the bed.

“Get done talking about me?”

Justin jumped at the sound of Brian’s voice. “Oh, I thought you had dozed off.  So what did the Dr. have to say out of my earshot.?”

“He just wanted me to be aware of how delicate your leg and pelvis was.  But he did give the go ahead. You just have to promise to tell me if it hurts.  You are going to have to be as inactive as you can be.”

“Just like normal sex in other words.” Brian said very sarcastically.

“We can make it an adventure,” Justin said, “And I may have to get creative but we will figure something out.” Justin got back in Brian’s bed.  “I am not sure they would appreciate us doing it here but…” His words stopped as Brian raised his lips and pulled Justin’s head down to his. Justin’s hands wandered cautiously down Brian’s body again. He could feel the bandages from the surgeries.  He moved the flimsy hospital gown to the side and he reached for Brian’s manhood. When his hand wrapped around it this time Brian made an audible sigh. Although it was obvious Brian was enjoying the sensation he wasn’t getting the normal response.

After some time, Brian pulled away from Justin’s mouth, “Looks like I am useless.”

“Brian, that is one of the things the Dr. told me in the hall.  He said your medications would probably affect you.” He could see the discouragement on his face. “Brian, as long as I have you beside me I can find contentment.”

“Ya, you will be content until Jarod gets back.”

Justin pulled away from Brian. “Brian, do we have to do this now.  This is the first time we have been able to lay in the same bed for a couple months.  Can’t we just enjoy being together? Please!”

He snuggled in closer, putting his head on Brian’s chest and just listened to Brian’s heart beat.

Brian tightened his arm around Justin.  That discussion could wait. He had his Sunshine.  For now anyway.

It was after midnight when Justin woke up.  He slipped out of the bed. Brian stirred and his eyes fluttered open in a start. “Who is it? What’s going on?”

“It’s just me, Baby.  I am going home and will be back in the morning to take you with me.”  This was the first time Justin realized how scared Brian was in his darkness. He leaned over and pressed his lips to Brian’s. “I will be back in a few hours.  I love you, Brian. I am always with you because I have your heart and you have mine.” Brian clung to him for a second but then relaxed back into sleep.

Justin was true to his word. He was back at the hospital by 9 to start the process of getting Brian to their temporary home.  They had lined up hospital transportation so they didn’t have to worry about him being in extra pain because of having to sit in a car.  A special chair had been brought to their living area so he could be as comfortable as possible.

The attendant helped get him into the house.  A temporary ramp was put in for the outside steps. Once he got upstairs he would get out of the wheelchair and move with his crutches.

Melody and Linda stayed out of sight while Brian and Justin moved in.  Dan had helped pack up what they would need and it was placed in their rooms.  Justin was surprised at how much they had done up there. They had replace the bed with an adjustable one so it would be more comfortable for Brian and they had gotten a lift chair.

“Where would you like to go first, Brian? I am guessing you are tired and probably sore after all the moving today.  Do you want the bed or the chair?”

Brian hesitated.  He didn’t want to admit how tired he was or how much he hurt. He made a compromise with himself.  “I will lay down. But I really am not hurting that much. I will be fine as soon as I can stretch out.” Brian prayed he could do it without showing the searing pain he had in his hip and leg. With his crutches and Justin’s help he moved himself into position and sat on the edge of the bed.  As Justin helped move his leg into the bed he almost cried out but he was not going to take any more of those pills. He needed to be able to do something for Justin or Jarod may as well come home and take him.

After Brian settled into the bed the pain did decrease and soon he was comfortable as he could be. Justin got into the bed from the other side and got close but didn’t touch him.  “You OK?”

“I will be once you move a little closer and let me touch your beautiful face.”  Justin slid carefully over so he was touching the whole length of Brian’s left side.  Brian moved his arm under Justin and pulled him in. “I know I don’t always do it the right way or know the right things to say but, I do love you, Justin.”  A tear slipped from Justin’s closed eyes. Brian brushed it away while his own rolled down his cheeks unnoticed.