Chapter 12

Justin thought he was dreaming.  He dreamt someone was stroking his cock. He didn’t want to wake up.  It felt so good Then the hands moved up. They roamed across his stomach and then over his chest.  Was a dream supposed to hurt? His nipple had just gotten bit. He slowly opened his eyes and there was Brian suckling as his hands slid down Justin’s arms to his hands where they linked fingers.  Justin smiled at him. “Good Morning,” he said in a sleep filled voice.

Brian drug his mouth up Justin’s neck and claimed his lips.  “Good Morning, Sunshine.” He went right back to assaulting his mouth.

Justin pushed Brian back just an inch.  “Do you know how much I missed this?”

“You are preaching to the choir, Justin.  Want to help me out a bit?” Brian moved Justin’s hand down to his dick.  He was fully erect.

“ I might be able to do something about that.  He started sliding down Brian’s body. He stopped and looked up into Brian’s face.  “You know, this started working just in time.”

Brian tensed a bit, “Why is that?”

“I was ready to call your mom down here to see if she could get a ‘rise’ out of you!”

Brian looked blankly and then started laughing.  Soon he was laughing so hard he put his hand on his pelvis because it started hurting from the strain.  

“That is just cruel, using such threats.” A few years earlier when Brian had cancer he had the same problem until his mother stopped by one day.  She had read him the riot act about going to hell because he was gay. Brian had told her in no uncertain terms he wasn’t changing his life style for anyone and after that he was no longer blocked.  “Now get down there and help a guy out.”

Justin gladly relieved is strain. Soon they were back in each others arms. Brian’s hands seemed to be everywhere at once. “You aren’t missing a beat are you?”  So can we stay in bed until Monday?”

“Can’t think of anything I would rather do. Just remember I am going to keep ‘looking at you’.”  With that he wiggled his fingers and started running them up his sides sending Justin into a bout of giggles.

About noon Brian pulled his lips away from one of Justin’s shoulder blades and said, “I hear the elevator.”  

Justin hadn’t noticed until Brian said it.  There was a knock on the door. “Um, excuse me guys,” It was Linda’s voice.  “I don’t want to interrupt anything but...you both need to eat something besides...um...each other.”

“Come in, Linda.  I hope Justin is decent.” Justin swatted Brian.

Linda walked in with a tray of food.  “Don’t expect this again but after the night you two had we thought you could use a little pampering.”  Both men were literally radiating love. “Enjoy yourself, boys. Dinner will be ready at 7:00. I will make enough for you both. You can’t live on love for very long,” and Linda was gone.

The men enjoyed breakfast in bed.  The ladies had outdone themselves. They fed each other bites of sweet roll, strawberries dipped in whip cream, and a variety of other treats.  Brian’s aim wasn’t always the best but he soon got better at sensing Justin’s movements and location. Justin was amazed at how fast he was catching on now that he had set his mind to learning it. He was also amazed at Brian’s insatiable appetite for sex.  He didn’t know why it really surprised him but it had been so long and in all honesty what they both wanted was an all out fuck session which wasn’t possible yet because of Brian’s hip. Oh, they were both satisfied, but the day all restrictions were lifted would be the day NO ONE would see them, maybe for several days.

It was about 4:00 pm when Justin noticed Brian was sleeping.  He pulled on his shorts and went to the studio. He knew he should  be sleeping, too, but he needed to paint. The room was getting late afternoon sun filtering in through the window. He went to the canvas and started working on his painting.  

Brian woke up and reached out to find no one. He was glad his phone had a feature that said the time out loud.  It was nearly 7:00. He felt around and found his shorts and his cane. He walked toward the elevator. He heard Justin in the studio so decided he was going to get the food himself. He got on the elevator.  He hoped the buttons were like a standard elevator. He tried to picture them in his mind from using it to move supplies when he helped with the renovations. He was sure he was right and pushed a button. The doors closed and the car descended.  He didn’t feel sure enough of this part of the house os he called out, “Ladies?”

Melody came around the corner. “Brian,” she said with a little question in her voice.  

“ I came down for our dinner.  Justin’s busy painting so I thought I would surprise him. God, I hope I can do this.”

“You can do this.  Let me help you set up the cart so you can find what you need.”

They set up the cart so  Brian knew where everything was. He got back on the elevator and took it back up.  He rolled the cart out and moved it to the lounge. He moved very slowly so he didn’t bump into anything with the cart.  He set up the table and then went back to the studio.

As usual Justin had lost track of time. Before he realized it, arms came from behind him. Brian breathed in deeply.  He smelled Justin. He loved that smell. He, also, smelled paint and maybe brush cleaner. All those smells were Justin. “I thought I might find you here.  What are you painting?” He nuzzled Justin’s neck, doing his best to distract him.

“I’m painting this striking man I know. He is beautiful inside and out.  His soul is the most beautiful part about him. He has a depth to his chocolate colored eyes,” By now Justin was facing that face. “A depth that the man who loves him gets lost in.  And even though those eyes no longer see the physical he knows every inch of the man he loves inside and out.”

Justin clung to Brian.  “I love you so much, Brian.  I was so worried you were never going to come back to me. And when I thought I may have lost you forever last night, I needed to show others who you really are.”’

Justin glanced at the clock.  “Oh, shit, I need to go get our dinner.  I am late.”

“No you don’t.  Follow me.”

He led the way to the lounge. He stood there proudly as Justin walked in.  

“Did Mel or Linda bring this up?”

“No, I went down and got it myself.”

Justin stepped into Brian’s arms and pushed him against the wall. “You don’t know how HOT that makes me and if I wasn’t starving I would take you back to the bedroom right now.”

He crushed Brian’s mouth for a long minute.  “Let’s eat.”

The change in Brian by the end of the weekend was remarkable.  Justin knew that starting work tomorrow would be a whole new thing.  Brian was comfortable at the house and he would be comfortable in his surroundings at the office but it would take time for him to get the number of steps down between objects and they really hadn’t explored how he would do his job.  Justin was planning on calling a sight clinic to get assistance with computer options, etc. first thing Monday morning. Brian seemed cool with everything now but Justin knew there were going to be many bumps along the way.

Monday morning Brian woke up early.  He was nervous. He started to slip out of bed when a hand from the other side grabbed his arm.  

“Not that fast.  Come over here.”

Justin met Brian in the middle of the bed. Just glanced below Brian’s waist and as expected, Brian had a raging boner. “What were you planning to do with that?”

“Isn’t that what the shower is for?”

“Not when your boyfriend is here. Do you think you are ready to try a little more activity than the shower?”

Justin wanted the Brian back that could pound the hell out of him as well as being sweet and sensitive as he had been all weekend.  “I have been thinking about this. Do you think you can balance well enough on your good leg and with the help of the cane keep your balance.  If I am on all fours on the edge of the bed….”

Brian smiled.  “This might work. Please don’t expect a Rage experience but. “

Justin got up on his hands and knees giving Brian full access to his ass.  Brian quickly surprised him by using his fingers. He forced them into him. Over and over he pushed first one , then two, and finally 3 as far into him as could.  He then wrapped his arm around Justin’s waist and with the help of his cane, balanced himself, and then as hard as he dared he slammed his erection into Justin.

:Justin cried out, not in pain but pure pleasure.  After the third stroke Brian had to slow down and be more gentle. Once they had both released, Brian walked to the bathroom without a word.

Justin collected his composure and followed Brian into the bathroom.  Although the shower was small Justin stepped in behind Brian.

“Sorry, Justin.  I guess I am still a little weaker than I thought.

“You don’t have to apologize for anything, Brian.  Three days ago we didn’t have any of this. I am so proud of everything you have gained just this weekend. But, please, Brian don’t get too discouraged at work.  You can’t expect to learn everything over in a few days. I plan to be there as long as you need me to help get stuff straightened out. You can do anything, Brian.” They had dried each other off as Justin had talk.

Soon Brian was dressed in a suit and Justin put on what he considered office attire and they were out the door.

As Brian walked into the office on Justin’s arm the staff cheered. Gale, Daphne, and Sharon all greeted him.  Daphne gave him and Justin a hug. Justin walked Brian over to meet the new staff he had hired in the last couple weeks.  They were actually college interns that received college credit and a small salary.

Brian independently walked to his office.  Justin held his breath but Brian walked to the door like he could see it.  Daphne and Justin smiled at each other and Justin followed him in.

“You hired staff without me?  What else did you do while I was out.”

Justin didn’t know if he should cheer or growl.  This was the business Brian. It was his domain.

“Well, Brian.  With you out we needed some extra help in the office. They are college interns.  Their salaries are small but it will pay for groceries for the month. One works in the art department with Gale and the second one has a business degree and is helping Daph.  Daph picked up several things you usually deal with so she couldn’t answer all the calls that were coming in.”

“I’m sorry, Sunshine. I didn't mean to make you feel like you were being interrogated in any way. I guess I kind of blocked out the office when I was so self absorbed.  I had no idea how many hours you spent here.”

“Before you trip over it, you should know I moved a desk in for me.” He explained where it was located.

“You could have just used my mine.”

“No I couldn’t.  That is yours. So I set up my own.  Now let me tell you what else is going on.”

It was noon when they  finished the review. “How did you learn all that?” Brian looked in Justin’s direction.”I’ve watched the master.  Why don’t we order some lunch. What are you hungry for? “ They decided on soup and sandwiches and were told they would have 45 minutes before it arrived.  

Justin locked the office door. “Justin, what are you doing?”  He then flipped the switch that clouded the glass along the glass wall to the lobby. “Justin?”

“We have 45 minutes and I would hate to waste that.  If you can find me all the way over here on the couch…..”

Brian strode over.  He had a natural grace and instinct.  In this environment you would never know he couldn’t see. Justin stood to greet him.  His hands unbuckled Brian’s belt and opened the fly to his trousers. He then made sure he could sit comfortably. “Are you comfortable? “

Brian nodded.

Justin leaned over and took Brian in his mouth.  Maybe it was because Brian had been doing it so much but he noticed the taste and smell of him. He couldn’t believe Brian had actually made it back to work.  He licked and sucked until Brian exploded into his mouth in a sigh. Justin climbed onto the couch next to Brian. They both dozed.

“Brian, Justin, guys, your lunch is here!” Daphne hollard through the locked door.

“Coming, Daphne.” Justin unlocked the door and flipped the switch to make the glass clear again.

Brian and Justin ate their lunch and went back to their desks.  An hour later he saw Brian asleep in his chair. He quietly went out to the lobby and let Daphne know they were heading home. Walking back in the office he said, “Hey, sleeping beauty, time to go home.”

Brian stirred. “Oh, I must have drifted off. It’s not time to go home.”

“Yes, it is Baby. You need to work up to full days and besides, I don’t want you worn out tonight!!”

Brian smirked as he stood up. “By all means.”

They took a cab back to the house.  “Justin, what do you think about moving back to our place? I am sure I can handle the steps.”

“You have a  doctor’s appointment on Friday. We can ask him then.  Maybe we can move this weekend. You might even be able to get into the hot tub now which actually might take away some of your stiff muscles.”

“You help a whole lot with the stiff muscles.”  They both chuckled.

Brian laid down once they got home and was soon was sound asleep. Justin headed into the studio.  This painting had to be done before the move because he needed this light.

The  week continued as it had on Monday.  On Friday they went to the doctor’s first thing in the morning.Justin waited for him in the waiting room.  He looked at the progress of the pelvis and was very pleased. “Well, I would say that you still need to listen to your pain.  If it is sore or tired take it easy. Keep the cane handy for a couple more weeks.”

“So I can take steps again?”

“As long as you don’t try taking them two at a time.”

“And sex?”

“Again, listen to your body.  From your look and demeanor you haven’t been celibate for some time but if your leg isn’t hurting you are cleared to do whatever it is you want to do.”  Brian wanted to kiss him but thought better of it.

The nurse led Brian out to the waiting room where Justin met him.  As they walked out Justin was eager to hear what the doctor had said.  “So are we moving back into our place tomorrow? Are you screwing my brains out tonight?”

Brian responded, “Yes and no.  Yes, we can move back into our place tomorrow but no, I am not going to screw your brains out tonight.””

The look of disappointment on Justin’s face was heartbreaking. As they got into the car for the ride home.  Brian gave him the address of their place rather than the ladies.

I thought we could stop by the house and see what we need to pick up tomorrow on our way..

They paid the driver and Justin punched in the code.  Justin could tell Brian was counting steps as he walked.  They were soon at the door. Justin unlocked it and entered.  

“Let’s go upstairs.”  Brian said. “There are a few things we may need to move around so I don’t trip over them.”

They headed upstairs and entered the bedroom. Brian faced Justin.” I may have told you a partial truth.”

“What is it, Brian “  Justin had real concern in his voice.      Brian took another step toward Justin, who took a step backward and another and another. Brian grabbed at the waist of Justin’s pants  and pushed them down as he pushed Justin down on the bed. At the same time he let his pants fall to the floor.  “Brian, what did you hold back?

“I am not going to screw your brain’s out  tonight because I am going to do it RIGHT NOW!.

Brian took control having Justin lay on his stomach..Brian would have liked to straddle Justin but didn’t want to risk that. He started at Justin’s neck. Brian breathed in the slight sent of Justin’s cologne and his shampoo.  Brian trailed his tongue from his shoulder blades down to the crack of his ass and then he continued down until his tongue pressed into Justin several times.

Justin moaned.

Brian than had him flip to his back.  Brian took Justin’s legs and draped them over his shoulder and slowly but forcefully Brian entered Justin and then drove in over and over with a desire he has had to suppress for months.  If only he could see Justin’s face. Justin’s love always shone out of him.

Brian leaned over and kissed him as he drove in over and over. Finally Justin tightened around Brian and he exploded at the same time Brian did. Brian flipped to his back and lay next to Justin both with grins on their face. Justin reached for Brian’s hand.  “You didn’t hurt yourself did you?”

“I would take any pain level to hear you enjoy yourself like that.”

Justin rolled into Brian and just drew in his warmth. “God, I love you.  I always have and I always will.”

“What was that?” Brian went on alert.

Justin heard it just as Dan popped in the door with his gun drawn.  

“Looks like I’m not the only one who has their gun drawn.”

That’s when Brian and Justin realized they were laying there naked. Justin grabbed a throw and covered them.

“Don’t need to cover up on my part, guys.  It’s not like I haven’t seen it before. Glad to see you home! Are you here to stay?”

“We will be back tomorrow.”

“From what it appears happened you must be healing well, Brian.  I got the feeling you could use a little space so I hadn’t been bugging you.”

“How about dinner on my patio around 6:30 or 7:00 tomorrow night? That way you won’t have to worry about food right away.

With that Dan left so they could dress in private.  

As they left Justin made sure Brian knew the distance to the stairs.  He didn’t need Brian to fall down them.

As they road back to the house they discussed what they would do for the women. They had been so kind and generous to them.

“Justin,  do you have a painting they would like?”

“Actually, I think I might. I painted it while we were here.”

“They don’t want a picture of me.”

“That’s not the picture I was thinking of. I have one of their flower garden or what I think it would have looked like 100 years ago.”

“That sounds perfect.”

“I would love to make them dinner tonight.  We will see if they have plans.”

That night the four friends sat in the formal dining room. Justin had made a wonderful meal and they laughed throughout the evening.  They may be an odd combination but they really had a lot in common. They had picked up a cheesecake for dessert. And as Brian carefully carried in the cheesecake Justin carried in the painting he had done for them.  

The women loved the painting.  When Brian and Justin went upstairs the women were still looking at the details.

They had packed up their belongings earlier and had someone picking them up tomorrow.  Justin had packed up the paintings he had done while he was here.

That night the men lay in each other’s arms.  “I will never forget this place..” Justin said. “So much happened here in the short time we lived here. I think our lives changed here.”

“I think we did,” Brian said.  “I know you showed me what a selfish bastard I can be and really how lucky I am to have you in my life and you reminded me I don’t have a life without you. I know I still have a lot to learn without being able to see anything. I miss seeing everything but if I could just see you once more.” He ran his fingers down Justin’s face.  “You are so beautiful. But luckily you are more beautiful inside than you are on the outside and that shines within your soul which you share with me. I love you more than I could ever imagine.”

Placing their  palms on the heart of the other, they drifted off as the rhythm of their hearts beat as one.

Saturday was a busy day.  After breakfast Justin was moving boxes to  the area designated for pickup for the movers. “Where are the boxes?  I can help get them where they need to go.”

“No, you cannot.”  Justin knew this was going to happen.  

“Justin, I can pick up a box….”

“And use your cane like you are still supposed to?”

“I don’t need that cane around here.”

Justin walked over to the doorway Brian was standing in.He reached up and draped his arms on Brian’s shoulders. “Sir, are you enjoying our bedroom activities?”  Brian’s smile said it all. “Well, Sir, if you pick up one box wrong and strain or re-injure, um, parts do you really want to wait weeks again.”

“You do know where to hit a horny man!”

Justin reached down and grabbed Brian’s crotch. He looked at his watch, estimating when the movers would get here and dropped to his knees.

As his mouth took in all of Brian’s cock, Brian took in a quick breath and a long sign, “I don’t deserve you.”

“Oh, I expect repayment, tonight, in our place!”

Sometime later Justin stood up and zipped up Brian’s pants.  “Now, go sit down and stay out the the way. I have plans for this gorgeous body later tonight.”  Brian reluctantly went into the lounge. Justin let out a sigh of relief. He really still needed to treat Brian with kid gloves.  Brian was a proud man and he had so many things to accept. If he could soften something it was worth it.

By 3:00 pm Justin and Brian were drinking a beer on their patio of their house.   

After enjoying dinner with Dan they meandered back to their house. By the time they got in the door both were thinking of only one thing.  Bed!

They spent Saturday evening and all day Sunday just enjoying their place, their movies, and each other.

It had been so good being in their own place.  For Justin it had been 6 months since he had spent more than a couple nights here. He really did love their oasis in the city.  They walked through the gate and they were transported into another world. It was usually a place of peace and relaxation.

The alarm went off Monday morning.  Justin looked over at Brian. This perfect, beautiful man was his life but now he felt imperfect. He couldn’t see that a flaw in his physical being had no effect on who he truly was.

“I can feel you staring at me.” Brian said as he reached for Justin.

“I was just lusting at your gorgeous body.”

“That’s what all the boys say.”

Justin claimed those perfect lips with his own.  He sucked on Brian’s tongue, stroked the inside of his mouth, claiming him for his own. How can he continue to love him so much? They were one.

“I would love to do this all day but we have a business to run. Meet you in the shower in 2 minutes.”

Justin jumped out of bed and went to the shower, starting the water. Soon Brian was slipping in behind him.  He was also slipping into Justin. This was the only way to start the morning! After soaping each other down and rinsing off Justin pressed his wet slippery body against Brian.

“I hate to tell you this but we better get going.  This boss of ours is a tyrant.  We better get going!

Now it was time to start the work week.  Justin had a little suspicion there would be a few bumps ahead.  Today someone was coming to start working with Brian. He had done amazingly well making adjustments at home but work was another story.  His computer needed to be adapted for verbal prompts. He was such a visual person. At home he could ‘see’ with his hands. Justin smiled at the thought of Brian ‘looking’ at him. His hands were everywhere. But, at work, that wasn’t possible in most cases. Hopefully, the instructor would have some ideas and even more importantly, Brian will follow the suggestions. Not everyone could work with Brian and he had tried to make that clear to the agency sending them.

Brian and Justin arrived at work ahead of the instructor. Justin tried to prepare him. “Brian, when the instructor gets here remember they are here to help you. I know you know the ad business but they want to help you adjust to it now.”

Brian wrapped his arm around Justin’s waist as he sat in his chair. He pressed his face into Justin’s crotch.   “You make me sound like a tyrant.”

Justin’s breath hitched as Brian continued nuzzling his cock. “You’re a loveable tyrant.

The phone buzzed and Brian picked it up. “Kinney, Ya, Daph send her in.” Brian got one of his cynical smiles.  “Sounds like my prey is here.” He pulled Justin down for a kiss as he heard the door open.

Justin was sure the kiss was for the instructors benefit.  It was far longer than the quick one he expected, not that he was complaining.  He could never get enough of this man. He finally pulled away and turned toward the door.

There stood a beautiful, young brunette. She was about 5’4” and might weigh 100 pounds. Justin almost cringed.  Brian was going to chew her up and spit her out before lunch.

“Good morning, gentlemen. I’m Janna. I am here to see how Mr. Kinney can be as efficient as possible.”

Justin walked toward her, hand extended.  “Nice to meet you, Janna. I’m Justin Taylor.” Janna thought he looked familiar but she was sure they hadn’t met before. He must have one of those faces, and what a gorgeous face it was.

Brian stood up and maneuvered around his desk.  He offered his hand to the air and Janna walked up and shook it. “Mr. Kinney, I presume.” Speaking of gorgeous faces this man could have been a model.

“That would be me. My boyfriend, here, thinks you are in for a hard job.  I am afraid he may be right. Just giving you a head’s up.”

“Well, thanks for the warning, I think?” She laughed a little.” Justin liked her.  He hoped Brian would give her a chance.

“Well, if the two of you will excuse me I need to do some work in the art department.  Would you like a tour before I go?” Justin asked.

“No, that’s OK. Mr. Kinney can show me around.” was Janna’s response.

Justin smiled at her and nodded as he walked out to look at some proofs Gale had ready.

Janna didn’t waste any time.  As soon as that adorable Justin had left the room she addressed her client. “So, Mr. Kinney…”

Brian cut her off.  “Janna, if you are going to grow to hate me you might as well call me Brian.”

“Why do you think I am going to hate you?”

“Well, I am stubborn, opinionated, bossy, do I need to list any more?”

“Well, many of my friends and family would say the exact same things about me.  Where would you like to start. I would like a tour so I can see any potential hazards.  After that we can review what is most important about your job and then we can figure out how to adjust it.”

“Considering I am in a visual field I am not sure what you can help with.?”

Janna noticed the shift in attitude.  As soon as Justin had left a dark shadow had fallen over Brian’s personality. “Shall we take that tour now. You have beautiful offices here. Did you have a designer come in?”

“Yes, of course! But Justin and I made the design choices. Color, styles, etc.  Justin is an artist and I know what I like.”

“That’s where I have seen him before. He’s Justin Taylor.  The Justin Taylor! His work is amazing! I knew he was young but… I was in D.C. last week and a friend took me to see show.  I should have recognized him.” Janna caught herself. “I apologize. I am working. I shouldn’t keep going on.”

“I am the first one to talk about his talent.  Besides his face, his work is what I miss most.” Brian’s voice trailed off.

Janna realized how much this man was still hurting. This was the first time she noticed he had a cane to his side.

“Oh, I almost forgot. I was told you had been hurt when you lost your sight.”

“Ya, my pelvis was shattered.  It is healed now. I guess I use the cane more because I can’t see than because I need it to walk.”

“I will bring you a white cane tomorrow when I come.”

“I don’t want one of those. I don’t want people to think…”

“To think you are blind?  There is nothing wrong with being blind! If it is a pride thing, get over it.  It is a safety thing. Like it or not you need those around you to know you are blind.”

“It is really none of their business.”

“Brian, if something is on the sidewalk and you trip over it you could fall into someone else who in turn could fall and get hurt.  Most people respond to the white cane and also it would help you find the object before you end up on the ground.

Brian didn’t reply to that. “I’ll show you the office,” he said sullenly as he walked out the door.

Janna would never have said it but she was impressed with Brian’s assuredness. There was usually a hesitation in the gait of a recently blind person but Brian didn’t have that.  She got the feeling Brian expected everything to be where he expected it to be and it always was. She could feel the attitude come off him in waves. If that man was straight every woman in New York would want him.  

Brian showed her a couple small conference rooms and offices down a side hall. He then walked into the art department. She couldn’t believe what she saw.  Justin was standing next to another young man looking at something. Neither was making any sound and yet Brian’s head turned to their direction. If the room was smaller she would say he could smell something familiar on Justin like shampoo or that he could hear his breathing but in a room this size with more people around none of that was likely.  Brian knew he was there, instinctively. She had heard of people having this kind of connection but she had never seen it. Brian was a little more cautious in this room. He knew chairs could be left out or materials could be leaning against a work table. Soon he was next to Justin and had his arm around his waist.

“What are you working on?” Brian asked.

“One of the new accounts.  They wanted some minor changes to the coloring.” Justin gave him a brief rundown of the layout.

“Sounds like you have it all ready for approval.” Brian kissed Justin’s cheek and walked away.  

Janna followed for the rest of the tour.  She could tell Brian had a very effective team working for him.  She wasn’t sure if Justin usually worked here part of the time or not but he was definitely in charge now. Janna made a mental note to talk to Justin alone.  She wanted to do that anyway. She wanted to find out what made an artist like that tick.

After spending three hours with Brian she was about ready to go for the day.  She had a lot of information she needed to process and research to do. Justin walked in as she was putting away her tablet. She motioned to him that she wanted to talk to him.  

“Hey, Brian, do you want to eat here before we go home for the day or would you like to stop somewhere on the way home.” Justin asked.

“Let’s go home.” His tone was flat when he responded.

“Ok, I will be back in about 10 minutes.” He walked out again

“I will see you tomorrow, Brian.  Around 9:00 good?”

“Sure.”

Janna walked out to find Justin waiting for her.  They moved away from the office not wanting Brian to hear them. “So, do  you think you will be able to make adaptations for Brian?” Justin asked hopefully.

“I admit with his line of work it isn’t going to be easy.  I will research some computer programs this afternoon. I find him fascinating. I am sure you realize you are his anchor.  I don’t know if that is new or if that preceded the accident. It is so obvious how close you are. I have never seen someone who can’t see, hone in on a person across the room like he did with you.  I think that is amazing but could be detrimental down the line.Do you usually work at Kinnetik?”

“No, I just stepped in because the company had to keep going. He built it from nothing.

“ I don’t want you to make any changes right now but down the line you may have to remove yourself so he has to step up. We will have to see how things go but I wanted to let you know what I observed so far.”

“Thanks.”

“By the way, Justin, I feel odd calling you Justin.  You are Justin Taylor. I have to tell you that I think your work is amazing. I mean it is breathtaking in every way.”

By now, Justin was embarrassed.  “I am glad you like it.’

“I’m sorry, I just needed to let you know.  I will see you tomorrow,” and Janna was gone.

Justin quickly grabbed some things from the art room and headed back to Brian’s office. “Sorry, that took so long.”

“Finally get done talking about me?

Justin laughed, “We did talk about you a couple of minutes, however, the majority of the time she happened to be gushing over me. She happened to see my show in D.C.”

Brian walked over to where Justin stood.  “I am so glad I got to see your show before….”  He paused for a couple seconds. “At least I will always know what your lips look like and how to find them.  He took Justin in his arms and held him close.

After a few moments Justin said, “I think it is time we head back to our place. Well, first stop to eat somewhere.  I am getting hungry. “

“So am I!” Brian started nibbling on Justin’s neck.

About that time the door to the office opened and Daphne walked in.  “Really? Come on, guys, now that you are at your own place I shouldn’t have to see it here.”

“I am sorry, Daph, but as long as you work here you will need to expect it from time to time.”

“Time to time?  More like all the time!”

“Did you need something?” Justin asked.

“Oh, ya, Justin, I just got a call about the new car ad.  Did the final copy get sent off today?”

“Yes, well, Gale should have it ready before the mail pickup this afternoon.”

“Great.  Thanks, Boss.”  With that Daphne walked out.

“Ready to go?” Justin took Brian’s hand as they headed for the door.

As they walked to the corner deli, Brian quietly said, “When did she start calling you Boss?”

“You know Daph, she was just messing with me. If anything she’s been my boss.”

Brian knew he shouldn’t take this to heart but it did sting a bit.

They ordered at the deli.  Justin noticed a pattern when they ate out.  Brian would pick a sandwich and sometimes soup but never anything like a salad where it might be hard to get the food on the fork. He would talk to Janna about that soon.

Although Brian was getting stronger every day, he still tired easily. It might help if they slept a little more at night, Justin chuckled to himself. Brian usually laid down for an hour or two after they returned home.  That was Justin’s time to paint. Justin was busy working on his latest canvas when his phone rang. Without looking at the distraction he said, “Ya.” His paintbrush was mid stroke.

“Hey, Justin.” Jarod’s voice came across the line.

“Oh, god, Jarod!  It is so good to hear you voice!.” They had been in contact at least once a week through the remainder of the tour but after it was done Jarod had gone to Omaha to spend time with his father.  “How is Omaha? How is Larry? Anyone to tell me about?”

“I’m good.  I just thought I would let you know that I am coming back to New York at the end of the week.”

“Really? That is great!  I can’t wait to see you. We have so much to talk about?”

“How is Brian doing?” Jarod asked a bit hesitant.

“He is improving every day.  He is working part time at the office.  I think by the end of next week he will be back to full time.”

“That sort of answered my question but how is he really doing? Maybe I should ask when he made you cry last.”

“Jarod, you know he doesn’t mean that.  Really, things have gotten much better. He doesn’t ‘make’ me cry.   Can we not talk about this on the phone?” As the last sentence was spoken Justin heard the door behind him shut. “Ah, shit! I need to go.  Call me when you make it into the city and we will get some time together.” With that Justin ended the call, took a deep breath, and went out to find Brian.

Justin found Brian standing by the patio doors, staring with blank eyes. Justin slipped his arms around Brian’s waist from behind.  “How much did you hear?”

“I’m so sorry I have made you cry.  I am sorry you have had so much extra work.  I am sorry you have had to put up with me for months, many of them celibate.  I am sorry I am useless at work causing you to stop painting or you don’t sleep because you need to paint.”  Brian paused to take a shuddering breath. That is when Justin noticed he was crying and tightened his arms around him. And I wouldn’t blame you if you need to be with Jarod.  I mean I know you love me but I am just madness in your life right now. If you need to be with him for a while I can understand why.”

When Brian had quit talking, Justin wasn’t sure he could speak without crying. He laid his head on Brian’s back. “Brian,” Justin steadied his voice the best he could. “Baby, I don’t want Jarod, for sex. I am glad he will be back in town because he is my friend.  That is all he is and all he will be. I love him but i am in love with you. How many times do I have to say it? Even if you could never fuck me again I would not leave you. Without you I would be nothing.” Brian resisted by Justin made him face him. He looked at the tear stained cheeks and kissed each one. “Your eyesight made you no more of a man than you are now.  If I see Jarod it is someone to talk to like you talk to Michael. That is all, Baby. If I cry it is just because you are hurting and when you hurt I hurt.”

Brian tightened his grip on Justin and clung to him.  

Brian clung to Justin like a drowning man hangs onto a life jacket.  No, like a drifting man hangs onto the anchor. Isn’t that what Janna had called him?  Brian needed an anchor right now but at some point he was going to have to let go of the anchor’s rope and hang on to his life jacket instead.  Yes, he would drift, but he was a survivor and he would survive and then thrive. But if he knew this, why did he have that little niggling doubt in the back of his mind. He had this gnawing feeling things were going to get worse before they got better.

Justin felt Brian’s grip relax a bit. He led them to the sectional and they sat down. Justin couldn’t resist that look on his face. “Oh, Baby,” was all Justin could get out.  He fluttered kisses all over Brian’s face. He ran his fingers through Brian’s hair and then just out of instinct took a handful of it jerking his head back and claiming Brian’s lips.  He assaulted them with force he rarely used. He pulled Brian’s head back farther and started nipping him. He was sure it stung. He then ripped open Brian’s shirt and pushed him backwards.  He claimed one of Brian’s nipples and bit down hard enough for Brian to jump. With his fingers he pinched the other one.

“Ouch, Justin, that hurts.”  Justin continued. “Justin, Stop.  That hurts.” Justin still continued.  Finally, Brian grabbed Justin’s shoulders and pushed him away.  “Stop it. That hurts.”

“Thank God! I wasn’t sure you had any fight left in you.  I’m sorry if I hurt you.” He licked the bruising spots and coming back up to Brian’s mouth and very gently kissed the lips that were now a little swollen.

“Fuck, now that I know you weren’t trying to inflict bodily harm I am SO TURNED ON!” Brian took over where Justin had left off and soon the men were naked on the sectional catching their breath.  “You really have to do that again, Sunshine, soon. I may never cool off after that onel”

The next morning Janna arrived at the office at 9:00 am as scheduled.  As she entered Brian’s office space Justin and Brian were discussing an ad campaign.  She was impressed at Justin’s descriptions to help Brian visualize what he was looking at.  Of course and artist would have a good visual perspective but not all of them would be able to put it into words like he did.  ‘If he wasn’t gay…’ her mind wandered for a moment, ‘I would be stalking him day and night.’

“Good morning, gentlemen.  Please continue your discussion.  I have a few things to organize anyway.”

“Good morning, Janna.” Justin responded. He was even polite.  Did he have any flaws? None that she could see.

Brian was another story.  He raised his hand in acknowledgement but said nothing.  She had an idea he had a fascinating story but she was sure she would never hear it.

As they wrapped up their conversation Justin stood.  “If you would like me to stay I can but if you don’t need me I have other things I can work on.”

“If you have about a half hour I would love to get your input.  With your background in art and technology I think you may have some ideas.”  

The next half hour the three of them sat around Brian’s desk reviewing some programs Janna had found and discussing what else had to be solved yet.  Brian participated but was quite subdued. He hated not being in control and right now he felt like he had no control over his work life. And worst of all some young woman was here trying to figure out his life and flirt with his boyfriend all at the same time.  He actually laughed at that thought. She was not someone that threatened his love life no matter how hard she tried. Jarod on the other hand…

Justin could tell the minute Brian shut down. He saw a veil go over Brian’s face. He wished he could read his mind.  He wished he knew where he retreated to when he did that.

Justin caught Janna’s eye and without saying anything got his point across. “Hey, guys, I just remembered a call I forgot to make this morning that I need to before noon.  If you don’t mind I will step into one of your conference rooms.”

Brian waved her away like you would dismiss a small child.  Justin reached over and took that hand. “Where’d you go just now?”

“I didn’t go anywhere.  I am right here, aren’t I?”

“Don’t give me that crap! I know you too well.  I saw your attention focus on something else.”

“If you know me so well I am surprised you  don’t know exactly what I am thinking. I mean you seem to have all the answers.”

“I am not going to go there with you.  You can try to create an argument but I am not going to play. When Janna gets back tell her I had work to do.”  Justin got up and left the room.

Brian slid down in his chair.  Why did he do that? Justin hadn’t done anything.  He was the one who thought about Jarod all on his own.  In fact, he knew Justin avoided using his name which wasn’t fair.  He just had the need to be possessive and protective of Justin and right now he couldn’t protect him but he couldn’t possess him either.

Janna returned to the office. “Justin have to go?”

“Ya, he had to go run my business since I can’t do it. Oh, and he has a business of his own to run. So, I guess he ran out of time trying to solve all my problems for me.”

“Considering you are your own worst problem I can understand that.” Janna responded. “He is busy and from now on I think the two of us can work on your problems so we aren’t wasting any of his valuable time.” Janna stopped, surprised at her own response.  Now she held her breath to see if she was sent out the door.

Brian sat in his chair with his unseeing eyes focused in the opposite direction. Brian jumped when Janna touched his shoulder. “Now that we both have had our little tantrums let’s get back to work.”  Janna stood and Brian did the same. They headed back to his computer for more training.

Justin needed something.  He wasn’t sure what. A drink,no, that wouldn’t solve anything.  Painting always helped him feel better but it didn’t solve anything. Did he need to see a therapist to figure out how to deal with this? He needed to talk to someone. He heard someone walk into the art department. He turned. He needed him.  There stood Jarod, in the flesh. And what beautiful flesh it was. He had forgotten what a good looking man he was. He walked over to him and threw his arms around him. “Your timing is perfect. Let’s get out of here.”

As the two men walked past Daphne, Justin stopped a second.  “Can you order some lunch for Brian. Tell him I will be back by,” He looked at his watch, “By three to take him home.” The look Justin gave her told Daphne not question him..  She just nodded and Justin was gone. She wasn’t sure she always liked Boss Justin.

Brian didn’t know how he knew but he knew Justin had left the building. He didn’t blame him.  He had his own life. He couldn’t be there for Brian every minute of every day.

He was drawn back to Janna, “Brian, are you paying any attention because if you aren’t I may as well go work with someone who wants to recover.”

“Ha, Recover!  After this long I doubt that will happen.  I won’t see again!”

“Who said anything about recovering your sight.  I said recover. To return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength.  Since I had never met you before I don’t know what your normal state of mind was but I am betting you didn’t just sit back and let others do it for you.  You would not be this successful if you did. Are you really going to let the loss of your vision have you fold up and live off your boyfriend?” She saw the flinch of pain on his face. Had she gone too far? “She looked at her watch and realized it was after 1:00.  She had just expected Justin would come back. “Well, our time is up for the day. Would you like me to send Justin back when I leave?”

“Good luck with that.  He’s not here.”

“You didn’t tell me he was leaving.”

“He didn’t tell me he was leaving.  He left about a half hour ago.”

“Brian, you have been working with me the entire time. How do you know he isn’t in the art department?

“I just do.”

Just then Daphne walked in.  “Sorry for interrupting but I was guessing you were getting hungry, Brian. Justin asked me to order you a sandwich and tell you he will be back by 3 to take you home.”

“Where’d he go, Daph?” Brian questioned tersely.

“I don’t know, Brian.”

“Did he leave alone?” A little louder.

“No,” Daphne didn’t want to answer the next question she knew was coming.

“Who’d he leave with, Daphne?” This was not a request.

She hesitated a second too long.

In a defiant tone he said, “Never mind.  You don’t have to betray him. I know.”

Daphne walked out.

Janna stood there with her mouth hanging open after the tone he had just taken with Daphne and the conversation in general.

“Well, Brian, I will be back tomorrow at 9:00 am.”

As Janna walked out the door, Brian called, “Why, it is obvious I am wasting your time.”

Janna approached Daphne’s desk expecting the young woman to be shaken after the encounter with Brian but she found her calmly doing  her work.

“I don’t mean to bother you but is that normal for him? Has he always spoken to you like that?’

Daphne actually smiled a little.  “That is definitely one side of Brian I have dealt with before.  But this is the first time he has done it at work.”

“So you have known him for a while?”

“Justin and I have been best friends forever. Justin and Brian have been a couple most of the time since I was 17 so I know Brian very well. In fact one of the very first times I met him he stood there totally naked and didn’t flinch at all when he saw me.”

Daphne saw the look on Janna’s face.  “And to answer your question, Yes he is that gorgeous and even better than you can imagine.”

“OK, you went there.  How about Justin? Is he as beautiful as I think?”

“Justin is beautiful inside and out. And, no, I am not going into the details as how I know that.”

“Have they always had the connection they have now?”

“It has definitely gotten stronger but they have had a connection since day one.”

“So, why is he so upset now?”

“A good friend of Justin’s just arrived back in town. Brian is afraid that Jarod is trying to take Justin away from him.”

“Is he a real threat?”

“On a normal day I would say No way. But Justin is tired and he draws strength from Jarod….Crap I have no right to tell you this stuff.  Please, forget that.”

“Daphne, I just want Brian to succeed.  I shouldn’t be telling you this but I sometimes think their relationship might be too close for Brian to totally recover because he knows Justin will always be there for him and will never let him fall.  This distraction, Jarod, is going to do one of two things. Brian is going to fight his way out of this depression or he is going to crash. I think he will fight but the other is also possible. Thanks for talking to me.” Janna rushed out the door.  She was really late.

Justin and Jarod had left Kinnetik and went around the corner to a pub. Justin had picked up food there before but had never gone in to eat.  It was quiet this time of day and Justin and Jarod found a quiet booth in the back. They ordered two beers and sat and waited for them to come.  Jarod was just waiting Justin out. The beers came and Justin drank deeply and sat it down. Jarod wanted to take his hand but thought Justin looked to fragile for that.  

Finally Justin started talking.  He told Jarod everything. Much of this he had told him on the phone but he just needed to say it again and Jarod understood that. He told him how physically Brian was nearly back to normal except for his eyesight.  Jarod didn’t know Brian well but he had spent enough time with him and with Justin to know he was a good man but he was too proud. He was the one who usually took care of everyone else. Justin is probably the only person he will take help from which is why Justin was under such stress now.

Justin took a deep breath and another draw from his beer. “Sorry about that. I guess I just needed to talk. I have missed you.” Now Justin reached over and took Jarod’s hand.

A little shiver ran through Jarod. He hoped Justin didn't notice. He knew they would never be together but he couldn’t help remember the night they had spent together.

“You mentioned an instructor?”

“Ya, she is actually really good but Brian is fighting her.  Everything is a challenge with him. He can’t do anything the easy way. If he will just allow her to help him I think he could do his job.  He would have hire an assistant or I will have to stay on but it could work.”

“Justin, you can’t stay there.  Do you realize what a success you really are?  I listened night after night to people comment.  I got to see how they would stand there amazed at your talent.  You must work get back into your art.”

“I haven’t stopped.  That’s half the problem.  I end up painting when Brian is sleeping.  He knows I do it in the afternoon when he tends to nap a bit but he has no idea I get up in the middle of the night to do it.  I feel driven to work. It is my release.”

“Justin, you shouldn’t need a release.  Not like that.”

“Thanks, Jarod.  It really has gotten much better and now that you are in town and I know you are here for me I see the light at the end of the tunnel.”  Silence for a second. “I just wish Brian did.”

By the time Justin arrived back at the office, Brian had alienated most all the employees.  Justin looked at Daphne who shrugged and said, “He is all yours!”

“What did he do?”

“Some of it was actually good.  He wanted to know about accounts. He had me connect him with some of the original clients to let them know he was back.  But his mood started going downhill. And this may sound strange, but I think it was because he found out no one had complaints.  Everyone was happy.” Justin gave Daphne and kiss on the cheek. “Sorry you had to go through that and thank you for dealing with him.  I just needed some time and I know you can deal with him.”

Justin took a deep breath and walked into Brian’s office.

“Nice of you to drop by.  Must be nice to just be able to take of several hours in the middle of the day.  Some of us have been working.”

Justin just stood there letting him vent.  He could see the strain on Brian’s face, not only his temper but he was tired.  He hadn’t stayed this long before and, if he wasn’t mistaken, his hip was hurting him, and quite badly. As he walked  across the office he could see he was limping quite badly.

“Are you ready to go home?”

“Are you sure you don’t have a client to call and charm before we leave?”

So Daphne was right. He realized the company was thriving and he felt unneeded.

“Brian, it can’t be both ways.  You want me working but you don’t want me working?   You want the business to be a success but you don’t want it to succeed unless it is because of you?  What did you want me to do? Let it fall apart? Let all you have worked for collapse?”

There was a pause. “I’m ready.” Brian said quietly.

“You look like you are hurting today.”

“I misjudged a distance and slammed into the side of my desk.”

“I’m sorry that happened, Baby.”  Justin wrapped his arm around Brian’s waist and they walked out to the street.

Neither of them spoke the entire way home. They both needed time to their thoughts. As the taxi pulled to the curb Brian got out and offered his hand to Justin.  He knew it wasn’t a big gesture but to Justin, Brian was offering an olive branch. He took the offered hand and stepped into Brian’s arms. “Do you still love me?” Brian asked quietly.

“I will always love you.  I may not always understand you but you will always be there.  Even when you try to push me away. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”  

As they walked down the path to the house Justin noticed Brian’s limp was worse.  “Brian are you sure you are OK?”

“I have to admit, it really hurts!”

“Do we need to have it checked out?”

“ I think it is just a bad bruise.”

“I am sorry I made you stay at work longer than normal.  If I would have known you were hurt…”

“Justin, you need a life. I know I don’t always act like it but I know everything you have given up to keep my business going.  And I know I am an ass most of the time.”

“Enough. Let’s get you upstairs and maybe in a warm tub.  Then we can ice it later. We will see what it’s like in the morning.

Justin started the water while Brian undressed slowly.  Everytime he moved his leg he moaned. Justin offered his hand as balance as Brian stepped in. Brian, still holding his hand, looked into Justin’s eyes.  Justin could have sworn Brian could see him. “Join me?”

“I’ll be right back.” Justin undressed and joined Brian in the big, soaker tub. “Are you sure your hip can take the pressure?”

“I am the person who hurts others.  Not you.”

Brian pulled Justin up against him as he sat down. Justin’s ear was near Brian’s mouth. Justin relaxed again him. He loved this man but why did he have to make it so difficult.  

“Justin, I know I am being difficult.  I try but I can’t seem to stop myself.” He kissed Justin’s ear.  “Sunshine, I don’t know why you put up with me. You must love me or you would never put up with me. I just don’t know why you love me.  I make your life hell and now I can’t even run my business without you.”

Justin managed to turn around and face him.  He was glad the tub was huge. “Will you shut up before you say something that will spoil the mood. Just kiss me like you love me.” Brian pulled Justin to him and claimed those kissable lips.  He truly was the luckiest man in the world. He could not get enough of him. Justin had reached between them and was massaging both of their penises. Brian deepened the kiss. His tongue wanted to taste every inch of his mouth.  He stroked Justin’s back. One hand slipped down the crack of his ass. His fingers found what they were looking for. He slipped his finger in slowly and watched Justin’s face. The look was of bliss, not a care in the world. Justin deserved bliss.

He continued slowly stroking in and out.  When there was no tension left Brian added another finger. Justin’s look changed  to yearning. Brian continued stroking. Justin was having a hard time focusing on anything. When Brian added a third finger but kept the pace slow and steady, Justin nearly came.

Brian leaned forward, ‘Not yet!”

“God, Brian..”

“Not yet, you have to wait.”

“I can’t…...wait.

With his free hand, Brian took Justin’s hands one at a time and placed them on the side of the tub.  Brian now started driving into Justin with all the strength he could with his hand. He went faster and harder until he said, “Now, Justin, Now.” Both men came at the same moment.  They both felt waves run through them, over and over, until they collapsed against each other.

“Please, Justin, forgive this crazy, blind man.”

That was the first time Brian said the words. This blind man.  Justin wasn’t sure why but he felt like they had turned a corner to recovery.