Chapter 13

When Justin and Brian got out of the tub the night Brian was having trouble standing on his leg.  While in the bath the bruise had developed into a nasty purple that was now somewhat swollen.

“ I knew I should not have gotten in there with you.  It stressed it.”

“Justin, shut up.” Brian smiled at him.  “I would not change that bath in any way.”

After getting ice, Justin slid under the sheets next to Brian and both men slept comfortably.

Early in the morning Justin woke to some movement and a groan.  “Brian, you OK?

“I didn’t want to wake you but, shit, my leg hurts and I need to piss.”

“Come on,” Justin carefully climbed over Brian and helped him out of bed.

Once they walked to the bathroom, Justin could see the bruise.  “Well, you aren’t going to work today and you are going to the doctor.”

“Oh, come on, Justin.  I don’t want to go back to the doctor”.

“Well, someone with medical know how is going to see it. Do you know someone who can check it out?”

“Let’s go back to bed and think about it.”  He chuckled and he grabbed Justin’s ass.

“Even in pain, sex wins with you, but I am not playing until I know your pelvis is intact.”

“Party pooper.”

“I’ll call Dan in an hour and see if he knows anyone.”

“Then what should we do for and hour?”  Brian leered at Justin.

“If you think you can mess around without an orgasm more power to you but I think that strain might be worse on your body. You really are insatiable.  Not that I mind most of the time.” He snuggled into Brian and kissed him. “No, you are too tempting. I need to get away from you.”

Brian grabbed his hand and pulled him back. “Don’t leave me here alone!”  He pulled him in for one more long, intense kiss.

This time Justin ‘escaped’. “ I am going to get you some ice and ibuprofen.  Then I will call Dan and see if he knows someone.”

Justin brought the ice and pills to Brian and went back downstairs to talk to Dan. He called his neighbor.  “Hey, Dan, hope I didn’t wake you.”

“No, I have been awake for a while.”   

“Do you know any concierge doctors?”

“I know of a couple in the area.  What’s up?”

“Brian clipped the side of his desk yesterday and there is a lot of bruising and swelling.”

“And he doesn’t want to go in?”

“Exactly!” They both laughed.

“I will check around for you.” Dan said.

“You don’t have to.  I can call.”

“I know someone who owes me, I’ll call.”

“Thanks, I am making him stay home today.  So if you have any news just let me know.”

“And you let me know what she says when she’s seen him. “

Justin made plenty of toast, eggs,  and sausage and carried it upstairs with a pot of coffee.

Brian sat up in bed. “Sure you made enough for me?”

“It is for us.”  Rather than setting the tray in front of Brian, Justin began feeding them both.

“How do you make everything sexy.” Brian ran his hand along Justin’s thigh and then reached to his inner thigh.  “I know, I know, Not until I’ve been checked out.”

Justin’s phone beeped twice.  He pulled it out to look at the messages.  The first was from Dan. A Dr. would be here at 8:30.  The second was from Janna. She would be here at 9:15. Since he wasn’t going into work, Janna could work on some skills here at the house although he was functioning quite well here.  At least she could get his home office setup like it now was at Kinnetik. But until the Dr. gave the OK Brian was not coming downstairs. He felt partly to blame for Brian hurting himself although he knew it wasn’t his fault. How could someone so intelligent be so, pardon the pun, blind to his own insecurities.  Justin honestly felt that if Brian would think about it he would know he was being impulsive. He couldn’t imagine everything he was going through so he had to give him some slack. If he lost his sight ...he couldn’t even think about it. Other than Brian, painting was his life. He would just have to find another art form he guessed.

The doctor arrived 8:40 that morning.  Justin showed him upstairs and then excused himself to verify a few things with Daphne since he wasn’t sure when he would get into the office, if at all, that day. “So how is Brian this morning? I hope he didn’t give you crap all night.”

“No, he didn’t.  By the time we arrived home he was apologetic.  I just have to have some sympathy for him. I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t see anymore and he seems to be trying at some level.  I think he will come around.”

“But, Justin, how long can you put up with his moods.  And now that Jarod is back…..I am glad for you because I know you have learned to lean on him, in a good way, but spending time with him may keep triggering events like yesterday.”

“I know. I just hope he didn’t re injure himself worse than a bruise. It is really hurting him this morning.  The doctor is with him now.” They finished their conversation and Justin straightened up Brian’s office while waiting for Janna to arrive.

The young doctor carefully examined Brian’s pelvis.  Since her patient was blind she could openly gaze at this gorgeous man.  She may have actually done a little more hand manipulation then was need just to touch him a little longer. “Well, Mr. Kinney, I think you just bruised it badly.  I will give you an anti-inflammatory you can take for a few days and keep icing it at least for today.”

“So  I don’t have to worry about it other than the pain, really?”

From the gleam in his eye she could see what he was thinking. “So I take it, one night is too long to expect you to go without sex.”

“Well considering our average has been about  four times a day for six years. One night is an eternity with someone as hot as Justin.

“I have to admit I am a little jealous.  You don’t happen to enjoy the company of a female from time to time do you?

Brian almost fall off the bed, he was laughing so hard. “In my day I was with a few women.  Justin has been with just one. Neither of us are compelled to try it again.”

“I guess that answered my question.”

“Since I have you here, I have a question.  Is it normal for someone who recently lost their sight to have trouble focusing?  I seem to be distracted so easily but a sound or smell. The other day I found myself rubbing two pieces of paper because they had a different texture. And if I know Justin is moving around forget.  I can focus on is him.”

“You told me that you aren’t on any other medications anymore from your accident, right”

“No when I got home I refused the painkillers and just finished out the antibiotic they sent home with me but that has a few weeks ago now.”

“Ok, I know you’ll probably recognize the name, Adderall.  It is usually associated with ADHD in kids but for many adults it really helps them focus.I think if you take one in the morning and one when you eat lunch it should help.  If you have something in the evening you could take one at 6:00 but don’t take it any later than that or you will never sleep.”

“Trust me, sleeping is underrated when there are so many other things you can do in bed.” Could that man do anything with being suggestive?

“I do need to warn you alcohol and Adderall don’t mix well.  Just another reason not to take it after lunch. There are a few possible side effects with Adderall but if you mix it with alcohol the effects get much worse. If you take it as directed it should help. If you take more than you should it is addictive and with alcohol it is dangerous.”  She smiled when she looked at him. “Now that I have pointed out all the bad stuff that could happen, it is taken by millions daily and it helps them function, living more fulfilling lives. I think I have some samples.” She dug in her bag. Here they are.”

“I forgot to ask.  Will it have any effect on me in here?” He pointed to the bed.

“The only effect is you may have difficulty sleeping. Nothing to worry about in the area  you are thinking of. Now, I will leave the samples for the Adderall and have a prescription delivered here later today.  I have enough of the anti inflammatories with me. Take all of them. There are enough for five days.”

“No, stay home today and if you can make it around tomorrow you can go back to work.  But maybe make it a short day. Next week you can go back full time and by then you will know if the medication is having the right effect. Don’t hesitate to call if you have any questions or need anything. Your boyfriend, Mr. Taylor is it, has my information. Am I right when I think I have seen him in the paper lately?

“Could be. Since I can’t see the paper I am not sure but a tour of his artwork just finished.”

“I knew I recognized him.  He is very talented.”

“Yes, he is.” Brian got a smile on his face, “In more ways than art alone.”

The doctor went downstairs.  She let Justin know that Brian would be fine.  She saw a look of relief cross his face. “Mr. Taylor, I just wanted to let you know I love your work.  Someday I would love to own one of them.”

Justin still never knew how to accept a compliment for something that came so naturally to him. “Thanks, I have always enjoyed painting,” was his standard reply.

“Oh, there will be a prescription delivered here in the next couple days.  Brian stated he was having trouble concentrating at work since his other senses have become heightened. I prescribed a low dose that I hope will just keep him on task.  I left a list of the side effects on the table next to the bed. The biggest thing is he should never drink when he has taken one of these. If he doesn’t take the medication later than lunchtime he should be fine to have a drink in the evening.  But he should never mix them.”

“Thanks, for coming, Dr.  We really appreciate it.”

“You have my number if you need anything.”  She hoped they would call her back frequently, not that she wanted them sick. Mr. Taylor was as beautiful as his partner just in different ways. As she left, she wished she could be a fly on their bedroom wall for just one night.

Janna was about to ring the bell at the gate when a woman carrying a medical bag came out. They nodded at each other as Janna entered the gate.  She was fascinated as she walked down a path that opened up into a garden. She had been told it was the house to the left in the back. She followed the bath through the garden and knocked on the door. “So how is the patient?”

“He will be fine, thankfully. He is supposed to stay in bed today.  I was hoping you could set his computer here to be voice activated. Then maybe you could look around and see what changes would be good for his safety and ease of use.  I am sure at some point Brian will get bored and make his presence known.

As Janna worked with adaptations Justin watched what she was doing.  “Janna, do you have any clients on adderall or Ritalin? Or have you in  the past?”

“Actually I have.”

“And is it helpful for people adjusting to life without sight?”

“I have seen it be very helpful.”

“I get the feeling that there is more to the story.” Justin didn’t like the fact she didn’t expand.

“Actually it is more like there is more than one story.  I have seen it work very well. It helps a person focus on a task.”

“But..” Justin asked?  

“I had one client. It started out working well for him but he started taking more than the Dr. suggested. He also had a bit of a drinking issue.  It wasn’t pretty. I am not even sure where he ended up. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“With Brian it is good I know all the possibilities.”

“This is a great place.”

“We like it. Would you like to see the upstairs and then we can stop in and see Brian. I am sure he is ready for company.  I hope you will get to see what the real Brian is like today.”

“I would love to.”

Justin led Janna upstairs.  The first stop was his studio/guest bedroom. Janna’s mouth dropped open as she walked in.  She was actually in one of Justin Taylors’ studios. There were paintings propped up everywhere. She walked over and started flipping through a stack.  

“Oh, I am so sorry.  Do you mind?”

“No, go ahead.  I normally don’t work this much at the house but since Brian’s accident it is just too much work to get to my studio so I make due.”

“These are absolutely beautiful.”  She ran across the one he had done of Brian when they had lived with the ladies.  “Oh, Justin!” She looked at it for some time. “This is so him. I can feel his energy from it.”

“It might be my favorite I have painted.”

“I can see why.  It obvious how much you love him.”

From behind her she heard Brian’s voice.  “I am a lucky man.” He had slipped in with no one noticing until he wrapped his arms around Justin.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in bed?”  

“Brian nuzzled Justin’s neck, “I was lonely there all alone.”

That’s why we came up to keep you company.  “Well, we’ve never had a three way with a female.  Um, I am not sure….”

Justin swatted Brian.  “Behave! We have a lady here.”

The smile Brian gave to Justin showed Janna a  whole different side to Brian. Yes, he was cocky. And, yes, he was a powerful, willful man. But he was also playful, caring , and loving.

“How about a game of truth or dare? I promise, Janna, I’ll be nice.  I am BORED!”

Janna looked at Justin and shrugged her shoulders.  What did she have to lose? She could gain a lot of insight into this man who had her baffled in so many ways. Plus how often did she get to spend an afternoon with a famous artist and the fact they were both so easy on the eyes, she couldn’t say no.

The first thing she noticed was that Brian and Justin never broke physical contact.  One of them always had either a hand on a knee or an arm around a shoulder. Sometimes it was just pinkies linked. But is was like a dance.  Instinctively they seemed to know the other’s next move. As one moved a leg the other was reaching for an arm. And considering Brian couldn’t see Justin it was totally on just ‘knowing’.

It wasn’t long before Brian reached down and pulled out a bottle of Jim Beam.  “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere.”

“That might be true but it is only about noon here and we haven’t even had lunch. Janna, do you have plans? We would love to have you join us.” Brian asked politely.

“Actually, I don’t have anyone on my schedule this afternoon. Sounds like fun.”

“Justin is a great cook.  Maybe he will make something for us.”  Brian leaned against Justin in a movement that reminded Janna of a puppy rubbing against his boy’s leg. “Please.”

“I’ll go see what we have. Janna, you cook?”  

“I can hold my own.” She stood up.

“You stretch out and relax, Babe, and maybe later I’ll give you something ‘sweet’ for dessert.” Brian pulled Justin in for a sizzling kiss.  When Justin stood up Janna nearly stepped in to continue the kiss.

She followed Justin out the door and down the stairs.”You are right about one thing.  He is different here than he is at the office.”

“I hope we aren’t too much for you.  When we are home we just are us and part of us, no most of us has to do with sex.”

“I don’t think that is true at all.  Well, yes, it is obvious you two enjoy sex but you two are so much more.  I have never seen a couple so in sync with each other.”

“We are definitely meant to be together. Now, let’s see what we have in the fridge for lunch. I don’t really think I am going to be cooking anything.  How about a nice salad with a cheese tray and some crusty bread.”

“That sounds great.  What can I do?”

“You are taking Brian’s normal job. Why don’t you chop the vegetables.  I will take care of the lettuce and I’ll grab the cheese and bread. And just to give you a heads up.  We will be drinking heavily soon and you are welcome to drink as much as you like and staying as long as you like.  And knowing Brian, he wouldn’t care if you watch later.” Justin just laughed and Janna joined in.

Lunch was brought upstairs and eaten.  As the afternoon went on the Jim Beam flowed freely.

Justin laid on the bed and stared at the ceiling. “Janna, I just want you to know we don’t do this on a weekday very often. Actually, we haven’t done this at all for a long time.”  

Janna chuckled.  Was she really going to sit here and watch these men have sex?  She had to admit it was intriguing and right now she had had too much to drink to go home. And then it was too late to go home. Watching Brian and Justin was like watching an art film.  Their movements together were like a ballet. It was almost too beautiful to be real. Their hands glided over each other. Their play of tongues was like nothing she had seen before, and, god, their faces.  They shone with an inner glow that could only be a love beyond anything she could imagine. As their lips melded together and they had become one she realized she was crying. This was beyond sex. This was beyond being in love.  This was two people truly becoming one.

All three of them fall asleep and when Justin woke up Janna was gone. Brian woke up to one of his favorite activities. He felt Justin’s warm mouth sliding up and down on his cock. Justin had always had a natural ability and over the years he had gained so many skills. As he came for a second time that afternoon he yell, “I love you, so much!”

Justin slid up Brian’s body and kissed him.  “Now that was an interesting afternoon. Can’t say I had ever dreamt about having an audience like that but for some odd reason it seemed like she needed to know who we really were.”

“Are you hungry?  For something besides me!” Justin knew that look.  “I know there isn’t anything in the house and someone has worked me pretty hard today.  And besides that, tomorrow we need to go back to the real world.”

Chinese was delivered and eaten before the men curled up with an old movie and each other’s company.

After their morning shower they  dressed and Justin made them breakfast.  “Brian, here are the meds the doctor gave you yesterday.” Brian swallowed them. “Since we are coming home at lunch today we won’t take the noon dose with us.”

“And hopefully this will help my brain settle down a bit.”

The rest of the week went smoothly.  Janna arrived like nothing unusual had happened.  Brian seemed to be able to focus much better and was picking up on things much quicker and even came up with some great adaptations himself.  The art department was now creating 3D images of the ad campaigns. Brian could feel the sizes and shapes. He could tell them what colors to use but someone had to make the final color choices.  Brian trusted Justin a 100% but he knew Justin needed to go back to his own job. His art. He had to put his trust in someone. For a while he would still ask Justin to do a final edit but Gale would need to take over that soon.

And a new normal began.

Justin dropped Brian off in the morning and went on to his studio.  Janna would drop by a couple times a week and help with any adjustments Brian needed. Daphne would make sure Brian got lunch and then Justin would drop by around 4:00 to do any final revisions and approvals  that needed to be done.

After a month Brian really had done well and Justin couldn’t have be happier or prouder.  

Even the fact that Justin was working with Jarod everyday didn’t seem to be bothering Brian.  As long as Justin went home with Brian every night he didn’t seem to mind. Besides Brian being focus at work he was also really focused at night.  He was focused on Justin. He didn’t even to want to eat. When they got home he nearly drug Justin upstairs for a night in the sack. Now he wasn’t complaining.  The sex was amazing but he was tired and hungry.

Justin and Jarod were working at the studio everyday.  Justin was usually working on new paintings while Jarod was working as his business manager.  He was in charge of sales and shipping. Justin was thrilled to have Jarod around. After complaining every day about being tired and sometimes a bit sore, Justin finally said, “Do you have any suggestions?”

Jarod looked at Justin, wanting to make a joke, but knew it wasn’t the right time.  “Justin, have you asked him to stop taking his medication?

“I can’t do that.  It has helped him so much.”

“Maybe now that he has adjusted maybe he could work well without it.”

“I will talk to him about it this weekend.  He does seem to be a little more anxious lately, too.”

One night Brian was drinking a beer on the patio. Justin was half way out the door to join him when his phone rang.  He glanced at the screen. “I’ll be out in a few.” He said to Brian and went back in. Justin was glad to hear from his mom.  They hadn’t talked for a week. He was laughing when he noticed Brian listening in. “Be right out, Bri.” Justin noticed Brian was pacing now.  After saying goodbye to Jennifer Justin grabbed his beer and headed outside.

“Finally got done flirting with your boyfriend.  You and Jarod have a nice laugh on my account?” Brian threw his empty beer bottle at the wall where it shattered into a million pieces.

Justin just stood there, mouth gaping. “What are you talking about, Brian? I wasn’t talking to Jarod.”

“Sure, first you don’t want to go to bed when we get home.  Now I know why. You were waiting for his call.”

Justin went in the house and got his phone.  He hit the last call received. “Hi, Mom, Brian felt left out, can you say hi to him?” Justin laughed trying to get Jennifer to think this was a joke.

Brian spoke to Jennifer for a couple minutes and then hung up. He held the phone out and Justin grabbed it from him. “So, what do you have to say for yourself?”

“I’m sorry.  I’m really sorry!  It’s just that today I started thinking about the two of you today  and I couldn’t stop and then we got home and you didn’t want to have sex and then you got this call and I could hear you laughing and…” Brian was nearly frantic now. Justin could almost see Brian’s heart beating in his chest.

Justin wrapped his arms around Brian. “Baby, take a deep breath.”  Brian tried to settle himself. “Brian, you are burning up. Do you feel sick?”

“I’m not sick.  I don’t feel sick.  Why do you think I am sick?’

Justin looked at Brian.  Very softly he said, “Baby, when did you take your last Adderall today? Did you take one this afternoon?”

“ I don’t know.  I can’t remember.”

“It’s OK, Brian, I think your beer reacted to your medication.  Remember if you take a pill in the afternoon you can’t drink anything”

Brian wrapped an arm around Justin’s neck pulling him close.  Justin was having difficulty breathing for a minute but then Brian loosened his grip.  “I’m sorry, Sunshine, I didn’t mean to do...I didn’t mean….”

“I know, Baby.  Let’s get you upstairs and maybe we can take a nice cool shower. That will make you feel better.” Justin put an arm around his waist and walked upstairs with him.  He started the shower hoping to cool his body down a little. He helped take Brian’s shirt off and undid his fly. Justin noticed, not for the first time, how skinny Brian was getting.  Too much fucking and not enough eating..

They got in the shower and Brian stood there almost in a daze.

Justin started rubbing his back hoping it would calm him.  After a couple minutes Brian turned around and took Justin in his arms. “I’m so sorry, Sunshine. That should have never happened.  I will be more careful.”

“Maybe you don’t need it anymore.  You are doing so well, I bet you could focus much better now.  Will you think about trying some time without it? You aren’t eating either which isn’t good for you. Will you try, Bri?”

“OK, I will try.  I promise. I will see if I can focus without it.

Jarod did not like the sound of the scene when Justin told him about it. “Justin, he could have hit you with that bottle!  He is dangerous.”

Justin walked to Jarod and put a hand on his shoulder. “Jarod, it was a one time deal. He has really had so much going on and has done so well.  He is just adjusting yet.”

Jarod knew some of that was true but if he started threatening Justin  he was going to step in.

Jarod took Justin in his arms.  Justin didn’t realize how shook up he still was.  He clung to Jarod.

“:Thank you.  I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Jarod kissed the top of Justin’s head several time. And whispered, “I am always here for you,Justin.”

A couple weeks later, on Friday, Justin’s phone beeped with an incoming text. ‘You need to come now. He’s out of control.’  

Justin responded, ‘On my way.’

“No, you will be here as soon as you can get your ass over here.  You need to rein in your boyfriend or everyone is walking out.”

“On my way.”

Jarod looked at Justin.  “Trouble?” Justin nodded.  “Call me if you need me.” Jarod wanted to go along in the worst way but knew that could just fuel Brian’s outburst.

Justin arrived and saw the look on Daphne’s face. He wasn’t sure but he thought he actually saw a little fear there and that wasn’t something he expected.  She met him at the door.

“Justin, I almost called the police.  I was scared he was going to hurt himself or someone.  I think he had something to drink with lunch. He isn’t the normal Brian so don’t take chances.”

Justin took a deep breath and started walking to the door.   Before he was halfway across the lobby Brian’s office door flew open. “She called you, didn’t she, Justin.” Justin should have known Brian would realize he was here.

“Hey, Brian, let’s go in your office and you can tell me what’s going on.” Justin managed to turn Brian around and headed back into the office.

“I can tell you one thing that isn’t going on I want to be going on.” Brian aggressively pulled Justin toward him at the same time he grabbed his crotch with his other hand. “Surprised you didn’t already have it up for your boyfriend at work!”

“Brian, you’re hurting me.” The grip he had on his privates really was painful.  He tried taking a step back but couldn’t because of the arm around his waist.

“Oh, come on, Boy Wonder, you like it rough sometimes.” He crushed Justin’s mouth with his own.

For a split second Justin was a bit scared but then he turned that to anger. He bit Brian’s lip hard enough to get his attention and wrenched himself away. “You drank at lunch, didn’t you?” He knew now wasn’ t the time to ask why he was still taking the meds.  His goal was to get Brian stabilized and get him home.

After Justin had broke away Brian was rubbing his lip but his look was changing. He was going from defiance to a mix of bewilderment and petulance.

“Want to tell me what made you so upset this afternoon?” Justin asked in a calm voice, much calmer than he actually was. He could still feel where Brian’s fingers had been squeezing. There was going to be a serious conversation soon and if Brian didn’t want to have it he would talk to the doctor. He may call the doctor anyway.

Brian dropped onto the couch. “I was eating lunch in here. The noise out there was just getting louder and louder.  I am sure they were thinking, ‘The boss is eating alone again. Poor sucker.’ Well, I went out and asked them to quiet down.  Then I could hear them whispering about me.”

“Brian, where do you keep your Beam.  I know you have some here.” Justin was already opening up desk drawers. He located it in the back of a file drawer.

“Get off my back!  I am a grown ass man. If I want to have a small drink with my lunch I can have a drink.” He drove his fist into a pillow on the couch next to him.

Justin quietly took the whiskey out and put it in one of the drawers of his desk.

He walked over to the couch “Can I sit down here or are you going to hit me next.”

Justin saw Brian flinch when he said that.  Brian’s demeanor seemed to be returning to normal.  His breathing was slowing down and his face was less flushed.  He handed him a bottle of water that was sitting there. “Why don’t you take a drink?  It might help you cool down.”

Brian took a long drink and then screwed the lid back on.

“How about we call it a day and go home?” Justin suggested.

Brian nodded.

“I am going to stop by Gale’s desk a minute.  Why don’t you get your stuff together and I will be right back.”

Justin walked into the office 10 minutes later to a totally different man. There was no defiance left in him now.  “Did anyone quit?”

“There were some threats but no one walked out. Let’s go home and we can talk about it.” Justin took Brian’s hand and tucked it into the crook of his own.  He was glad Brian had finally started using the white cane after bruising his hip so badly. At least he had more of a sense of what was ahead of him. At this point Justin wished he knew what was ahead of him, when it came to Brian. “You up to walking home?”

Brian nodded and slipped his arm around Justin’s waist.  Justin tensed reflexively. Brian took his elbow again and softly said, “I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?”

“I’ll live”

“That’s not what I asked.” Brian’s tone got edgy again.

“This is not the place to have this conversation, Brian.”

“I say it is.” Brian retorted.

“Then have it by yourself.” Justin walked away leaving Brian stand there. The moment he did it he knew he shouldn’t have. He was only a few yards away when Brian called to him. His voice was filled with what could only be called terror.

“Justin, Justin, I’m sorry, Justin, where are you? Please.”

Justin rushed back to him.  “I’m here, Baby. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

Brian clung to him, trembling like a child after being separated from their parent. Justin enfolded Brian’s long lanky body in his arms.  He again noticed how much weight Brian had lost.

“It’s alright.  I’m here. Let’s get home.” With an arm wrapped around Brian’s waist he guided him the rest of the way back to their house.

Once in the house Brian was still trembling and turned into Justin for comfort.  

“I am sorry, Brian.  I should have never left you standing there. That was totally uncalled for no matter how mad you made me.” Justin stroked his hair. He looked up into those fear filled eyes and kissed him. A jolt ran through both of them.

Brian’s fear was transformed into a need that had to be quenched. Justin knew they should be talking and straightening out the situation of the day but right now none of that mattered.  He had been a long time since he felt their souls connect. Sure, they had lots of sex but it had been a long time since they had really made love.

They started toward the stairs.  The shirts came off and were tossed to the side.  They both seemed to need the same thing. Just to be in physical contact.  To have flesh on flesh, to feel heartbeat to heartbeat. Brian’s mouth never had trouble finding Justin’s. His tongue darted in and out as Justin unbuckled Brian’s belt and opened his fly. The trousers hit the floor. Justin made sure they were out of Brian’s way so he didn’t trip over them.Then it was Brian’s turn to undo Justin’s pants and send them to the floor. He reached over and cupped Justin’s balls and cock gently.  He dropped to his knees and showered kisses all over them.

“I didn’t hurt you earlier, did I?”  Justin looked down and could see bruise marks left by Brian’s earlier assault.  His first instinct was to lie to him but he told the truth.

“There is a little bruising but I will be fine.” Justin felt something wet on his cock as Brian continued to gentle kiss and massage it.  That’s when he realized Brian was crying.

Brian kept mumbling, “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.” After regaining a little of his composure he took Justin’s cock into his mouth.  After he had taken it all in he pressed his tongue to the underside of it and adding pressure slowly pulled back, as he repeated this

Justin had to grab onto the stair railing to stop him from falling. What was Brian doing to him? “Brian, I am not going to hold out much….”

As Brian repeated this motion once more Justin could not control himself. The eruption came from his very toes.  If he hadn’t had the railing to hold onto he was sure he would have collapsed. He had barely finished his climax when Brian stood and captured Justin’s mouth again.  Justin tasted himself on Brian’s lips as well as the tears Brian had shed. Justin pulled Brian even closer bruising their lips. Brian’s need was obvious as they were pressed tightly together.  Justin started to drop down but Brian wouldn’t let him. “Upstairs,” he said in a hoarse voice filled with lust and longing. They stumbled up the stairs barely able to separate that long. They landed on the bed at the same time and Justin straddled Brian.  His mouth was everywhere at once. He fluttered kisses over his eyes, those beautiful, sightless eyes. He then continued the trail lower. As his tongue traced circles around his belly button, Brian moaned. Justin finally took Brian in his mouth. He licked and suckled until Brian was thrashing. Justin managed to get his hand under Brian’s ass and slowly as he took Brian’s beautiful cock in and out of his mouth he worked his fingers in and out of his ass. Brian let out a moan as he exploded in Justin’s mouth.

By this time Justin was fully erect again.  He took Brian’s hand and guided it down to his dick.  When Brian felt his need he turned over and offered himself to Justin.  Justin inserted his finger again and moved it around trying to loosen him up.  He then inserted two fingers and started spreading them as far as he could going in and out.  He finally added a third which made Brian jump a bit. It was less than once a month Brian was on the bottom so Justin was always careful.

“God, Justin, NOW!”

Justin entered carefully but before he knew what was happening Brian was shoving backward with all his might.  He let out a cry of pain. Justin met him stroke for stroke and soon, as if on cue, both men came for a second time. The men slept soundly and satisfied.

Justin woke up ahead of Brian and quietly slipped out of the room and downstairs.  He had such mixed feelings about yesterday. He had already responded to a text from Daphne this morning who was just checking everything went ok last night.  He pulled out the ingredients for peach French toast, one of Brian’s favorites. He combined the ingredients and put it in the oven to bake. He then started sausage in a pan and got eggs out.  He made cup of coffee and then prepared a carafe for later. He sat on the patio sipping his coffee trying to figure out the best way to approach the situation. It was obvious Brian had a problem starting.  He wasn’t sure if it was an addiction to the meds or more likely, it was his going to alcohol when he was stressed out. The side effects with alcohol were clearly listed but it was possible he had started taking more than he was supposed to. He really had taken the company back by store which Justin was thrilled about.

Justin thought he heard something. Then he heard his name being called. “Coming.” He got up and went back in.  Wrapping his arms around Brian and feeling Brian’s close around him he just absorbed the heat and strength he felt in him.  “Good Morning.” He met Brian’s lips for a quick kiss. “Can I just say, last night was beyond….” their lips met again and this time Justin was sure the earth moved beneath his feet.   “Are you hungry? I made your favorite. Peach French toast. I have some sausages made and …”

Brian reached between Justin’s legs and very gently cradled him. “I can think of a sausage I would like.”

Justin rolled his eyes but had to laugh at this sophomoric comment.  “Sit down and drink some coffee while I make the eggs.” He poured Brian a cup of coffee, went to the stove, and made eggs. Taking the French Toast out of the oven he made 2 plates of food and brought them to the table.  They both started eating but it wasn’t long before Brian was just playing with it. “Is there something wrong with the food?”

“No, It’s good I’m just not hungry.”

Justin thought this might be his entry point to the medication conversation.”But you should be hungry.  You should be starving after our workout last night. I’m worried about you, Baby.” He reached over and took Brian’s hand. “I worry you aren’t eating and I am worried about you drinking when you take the meds. You can be out of control and no one knows what to do. You really scared me yesterday. And, again, I am so sorry I left you standing there on the street. I will never do that to you again.  I promise but I didn’t know what else to do.”

Brian didn’t say anything. He squeezed Justin’s hand, picked up his fork, and ate more of his breakfast. He knew, deep down, that what Justin said was true but, if he was honest, he wasn't ready to give up the pills.  He needed them to survive at work. There were so many things he had to do now that Justin was back at his own job. He was sure he couldn’t get it all done by himself. He was training an assistant but after Friday, Brian was afraid he may have permanently scared him off. If everything he remembered was true he wouldn’t blame the guy.

Brian had been quiet for so long, Justin squeezed his hand. “You alright?” He brought Brian’s hand up to his lips. Brian scooted his chair back and Justin came over and straddled his lap. He oh so gently touched his lips to Brian’s. Brian’s  response was a shiver down his spine. For some time they sat there in each other’s. Lips just barely touching while their tongues touched and tasted each other. Justin finally separated just a bit. “I think we could use a shower.” And hand in hand they walked upstairs.

They spent a leisurely day out in the garden.  It was the best day Justin could remember in months.  They talked and laughed. They held hands and said nothing. They just enjoyed being together.

Sunday they ran some errands and went to a theater that played classic movies.  They shared popcorn and watched James Dean. At one point Brian whispered, “I can picture this. Every scene.” He pulled Justin close as they continued watching to the end.

Although Jarod was working with Justin daily he hadn’t been by the house since his return.  Today he had to stop by to talk to Dan about something. That was a perfect time to ask Dan if he had noticed anything different with Brian lately.

As the men drank a beer on the patio Jarod brought up his concerns. “Dan, you spend time with Brian and Justin, don’t you?”

“I haven’t recently.  Sure we have dinner from time to time but I have been really busy and so have they.  They seem to be going to bed very early many nights but then some nights I swear I see Brian walking around on the patio in the middle of the night. I have a couple clients in other countries so I sometimes get up at weird times to make calls.  You act like you know something.”

Jarod hesitated, “I don’t want to butt in but I have been worried about Justin.  He comes to work exhausted many mornings because all Brian wants to do is go to bed, and you know what that means with Brian. Brian has also been violent a few times, not at Justin really but Justin has been too near for comfort.  And Friday he had to leave work and help at Kinnetik because of his behavior again. He hasn’t contacted me this weekend so I am assuming everything is alright.”

“I have seen Brian do some eratic things recently but I didn’t know it was that bad. Does Justin know what’s causing it.”

“He was put on Adderall by a doctor when  he hurt his hip. Justin says the outbursts are when he adds alcohol but I think he is abusing the med, too.”

Dan looked a bit worried.  “Leave it to Justin to try to deal with his hero himself. I had no idea that was all going on.”

“I am just giving you fair warning. If Brian fucks with Justin, he is going to regret it.

Just as Jarod was getting up to leave, both Dan and Jarod heard Brian and Justin returning. Dan laid a hand on Jarod’s shoulder. “Just don’t start something.”

Justin stopped in his tracks when he saw Jarod standing with Dan.  Did he ignore Jarod so Brian didn’t even realize he was there? No. Jarod was his best friend. He wasn’t going to start playing those kind of games. “Hey, Dan, Jarod!” Greetings were made to each other.  Brian had said hello to Jarod but he had also stiffened when he heard the name.

“Why don’t you guys join us for a drink.  I am thinking about throwing some burgers on the grill would you like to join us?” Dan invited.

Justin was about to make up an excuse when Brian said, “Sounds good to me. Is that alright with you, Justin?

“Sounds good to me.”  His eyes met Jarod’s in a silent plea to not bring anything up.

“Great, can I get you guys something to drink?”

Justin said he would take a beer but Brian asked, “Do you have a soda or just some water?”

“Sure, I’ll be right back.”

Justin helped Brian to his chair while Jarod took the one across from him.  Dan came out with drinks for everyone. He threw burgers on the grill and the conversation was mostly about the adventures of the art tour and about Jarod’s long lost father.  Brian was quiet but he didn’t have a blow up or even any snide remarks at anything that was said. Justin had to give him props for staying there.

As the impromptu party started wrapping up Jarod was heading home.  Justin said, without thinking about it, “See you tomorrow, Jarod.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw Brian tense a bit but Brian didn’t utter a word.

As they walked back to their house, Justin kissed Brian’s jawline. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being nice to my friend.”

“Aren’t I supposed to be nice to your friends?”

“Brian, you know what I mean.  I know he isn’t your favorite person but I hope you can tell there is nothing between us but friendship.”

Brian didn’t respond but put his arm around Justin’s waist.

The next couple weeks there was a change in Brian.  Justin hoped they were for the good. He seemed to be a bit less jittery and he was actually sleeping much better and had actually stopped wanting sex.  He hoped once the meds were out of his system things would go back to normal.

The other thing he noticed was not a positive.  Brian’s mood overall was darker. Sometimes he could see Brian seithing just under the surface. Actually, most of the time Brian looked ready to explode.  Justin was walking on eggshells all the time. Each day when he would arrive at the office at 4:00 he would look at Daphne who would give him a thumbs up or thumbs down. Some days she would just shrug. As time went on there were a lot more thumbs down than thumbs up.   

There was another text from Daphne on another Friday.  Brian had been working on a new campaign and it had gone south.  That was one client he would never win after the blow up he had in front of them.  Jarod had insisted on coming with Justin but said he would wait outside. Justin had also texted Dan to see if he could come by.  

When he arrived he went into Brian’s office. Jarod never took his eyes off Justin as he walked through the lobby and into the lion’s den.

“Let me guess, your girlfriend told you I needed you.  Your girlfriend told you I fucked up. Your girlfriend thinks I’m crazy.  Well, guess what? People lose accounts every day. It’s my business how and what I want to say to a client or should I say non client and it’s my business and I can run it the way I want to run it. So if all you want to do is tell me to quit drinking or quit taking pills save your breath.  It’s my life.

Dan walked in the door without Brian noticing.  

“Brian, it’s our life you are ruining.  Remember it is us and we, not I and my.”

“Maybe I am done with us and we.  Maybe I just need to me again.”

“Brian, you don’t mean that.” Justin started walking toward Brian.

“Stop right there.  Just stop where you are. You forgot whose business this is.  Thanks for keeping it going but now I’m back and I can take care of myself. Why don’t you just move on.  Live your life. I can live mine.”

“But, Brian…..”

“Just go, Justin.  Just once let me sink or swim on my own.  I can clean up after myself.”

Justin didn’t know where this came from. What would Brian do without him? What would he do without Brian.

Brian finally realized someone else was in the room.  “Is that you, Jarod? Did you come along with Justin to protect him from the big, bad wolf?”

“Brian, it’s me.  Jarod is not here. Are you sure you know what you’re saying?  You really want Justin to leave?”

“I said it didn’t I”

“Brian…..”

“Justin, just get out.”

Dan saw Justin straighten his spine. He walked out the door and didn’t turn around.  

Jarod was waiting in the lobby. He hadn’t heard what went on but from the look on Justin’s face Brian had just beat the shit out of him.  It just happened to be from the inside out. He put his arm around Justin and led him out of the office.