Chapter 6

Justin was glad he made it to the airport with plenty of time.  He needed to get his head straight. He missed Brian already. Even though he totally understood how busy Brian was and how committed he had always been to his work and his clients.  That's what made him so successful. That was one of the things he loved about him. But it wasn't easy today.

It was time to focus on his career.  This is his big chance. If this goes well he will open so many doors.  Although loneliness was already taking hold somewhere deep in his soul, his excitement was growing.

Who decided Columbus, Ohio would be the first stop? It wasn't the city you think of when you think art world. He disembarked and grabbed his luggage.  He looked for a driver, maybe one holding a sign with his name on it. Instead he found the smiling face of Jarod.

"Welcome to Columbus." Jarod greeted Justin with a friendly hug.

"Hey, I didn't expect you to pick me up.  Got to say it's a nice surprise."

"Hate to tell you it could be a long ride to the hotel.  The traffic is horrible."

"Guess we have time to catch up.  We haven't talked since Friday." Justin commented.

"Ya, I was kind of wondering how your evening was Friday after I left. Does Brian get in that mood very often? I wondered if I needed to start watching out for you instead of leaving." He said this with a smile to let Justin know he knew Brian was not a threat.  "So, what kind of sendoff did he give you?" Out of the corner of his eye Jarod saw a shadow cross over Justin's face. "Oops, I take it...."

"He has been so busy the last two day's I hardly saw him.  He had warned me his schedule was crazy this week. He really did give me a great send off. I know Brian was touchy when he got home Friday.  I have to admit I was a little sore on Saturday but it had been well worth it." Justin saw the look on Jarod's face change. "What's that look for?"

"Sorry, I guess I just am curious."

"Curious what it is like to have a cock up your ass?" Justin laughed as Jarod's face went from shock to acknowledgement.  

"Honestly, yes. Since we are being open here, what is it like?"

"Wow, I have never tried to put it in words before."

"Well, it obviously includes pain.  You just said so."

"Pain and pleasure can be two sides of the same coin.  Sure, it includes pain but the pleasure is well worth it.  Just thinking about it is giving me a hard on."

Jarod chuckled.  He wasn't sure how to respond to that.

Justin got a smile on his face that meant he was up to no good. "I think I just came up with a personal mission for this tour.  Jarod Thomas, you are going to get laid on this trip. You said you were open to men, right."

Jarod nodded.

"Just so you know, I don't like to fail." Justin saw the look on Jarod's face. "Jarod, I would never push you into something that made you uncomfortable but we can go out and I can be your wingman. We can find you the perfect person."

The conversation lightened up and so did the traffic. By the time they arrived at the hotel the 2 men grabbed a sandwich in the hotel bar and went to their own rooms for the night.

Brian got home about 9:00 p.m. to find a dark house.  Of course, he expected it but that didn't make it easier. He poured him a large serving of bourbon and headed for the steps.  He stopped. He went back and grabbed the bottle, taking it upstairs with him. Brian downed the first glass. He set it down and filled it again.  He stripped and dropped on the bed. Picking up the glass he sipped the golden liquid. He moved his hand to Justin's pillow and felt something. An envelope.  Brian held it, recognizing Justin's artistic scrawl. He took another long draw of his drink and opened the envelope.

'My dear Brian,

Set the drink down and smile. Think about Saturday evening. I can still feel your arms around me.  I won't forget that evening or spending the day in bed Sunday.

Don't beat yourself up that you were busy this week. I do understand you need to do your job just like I need to take this tour.   

I won't tell you not to drink too much because I know you will.  Are you on the second or third glass?'

Brian looked down at the glass he had just refilled and smiled.

'Just remember I will be back and no matter how much time and how much distance there is between us you always have my heart and soul. And remember, I can't live without you so don't do anything stupid.

I love you, Brian Kinney!

Your Sunshine'

Brian set the glass down on the night stand, slid under the blankets, and held the letter to his heart as he drifted off to sleep.

The show was ready.  It was an hour before the opening and all Justin wanted was to hear Brian's voice.  He pressed Brian's icon on his phone. He didn't expect to reach him at 6:00 p.m. but at least he could hear his voice.   

Daphne was in Brian's office when his cell phone rang.  "Kinney," Brian's voice came across loud and clear.

"Hey, Brian."

"Sunshine," Brian's voice took on that soft quality it often did when he was talking to Justin.  Daphne waved at Brian and left his office. "How is everything going."

"Just have an hour until opening.  I think everything is ready. Jarod has done an amazing job."

"How is Jarod?" Justin could hear the little note of angst in Brian's voice.

"He is fine but he isn't who I want to talk about.  I want to talk about my hot boyfriend who I have missed every minute since I left New York City.  Talk dirty to me so I can relax. I know you probably don't have time. I didn't actually think you would pick up."

"I have all the time you need, Sunshine. I had an appointment cancel so I am all yours. Now what can I do to get that beautiful cock of yours hard. I wish I was there to physically take it into my mouth for you."

"Oh, god, Brian you don't know how much I wish that too. Just thinking about your lips around me...Justin slipped his hand down his own pants. He was in a small office they had assigned him for his time here. "What else would you do?"

"Sunshine, I miss you so much. I would love to be there so I could stick my cock so far up you," Brian's hand slipped beneath his desk and into the fly he just opened.  

"Brian, Baby."

Brian could tell by Justin's voice he was about ready to come. "Justin, I want to bite down on your nipple so bad..."

From the noise Brian heard on the line he was sure Justin had shot his load causing him to do the same. Brian was also sure he heard someone walk in to whatever room Justin was in. "Sounds like you have some explaining to do."

"Uh, Ya."

"I love you.  You are going to blow the art world away tonight. I miss you, Sunshine. Talk to you soon.  Love you." And he was gone.

Justin was just coming to a climax when Jarod had entered the office. There was no stopping himself now so Justin just finished what he was doing, although slightly embarrassed.

Jarod had a little smirk on his face when he said, "Sorry.  Looks like I interrupted something."

Justin could do nothing but laugh. "Ya, your timing is impeccable.  I didn't expect to reach him and when I did, well, one thing led to another."

"I don't need an explanation. You are two consenting adults. And I should have knocked."

"Jarod, I am a gay man.  We are going to spend a lot of time together.  My guess is you will walk on this or something similar more often. Don't straight men jack off?"

"Trust me, I have done my share.  Well, I came in hoping to get you to relax a little but Brian seems to have done that for me.  I have checked all the security and we are good to go. Are you ready to meet your public?"

"I am never ready to meet my public.  By now you know I really hate this end of my job." But he put on a smile and walked out into the gallery.

The 10-day run was uneventful.  The show was a success and the crowds grew each night.  After the second weekend it was time to pack up and head on to Minneapolis which was a repeat of Columbus.  Jarod and Justin spent nearly 16 hours a day together and were becoming very close friends.

Jarod made the trip bearable while the days away from Brian were nearly unbearable sometimes.  

Brian spent 16 hours a day at the office.  He frequently started drinking long before he left for the evening.  By now when Brian was at the house he would look for another note that Justin left for him.  He wasn't sure if the notes made it better or worse but he probably drank less the nights he got one.  

Weekends were the worst.  It had been almost a month since he had sex with anyone.  He could hardly believe it himself but he knew that was going to change.  He had talked to Dan and they were heading to a club tonight. The men had reserved hotel rooms near the club to bring anyone they picked up.  Brian felt a bit of that old thrill and he had Sunshine's blessing. He just couldn't think about Justin doing the same thing.

Brian looked at the itinerary.  Justin was spending his second weekend in Minneapolis.  He wondered what night life was like in Minneapolis. He wondered what Justin was doing after the gallery closed tonight.

Brian grabbed the poppers he had gotten and took a big swig of his favorite amber liquid and headed out of the house.  

Brian and Dan made a stunning couple as they walked into the club. Brian was used to people looking as Justin and he entered a room but with Dan it was different for some reason.  Both men had an air of being the alpha, being the pack leader. They didn't give the impression of being a couple. They gave the impression of being on the hunt. And they were.

After spending three hours on the dance floor Brian and Dan were both honing in on their selected prey. Each man had singled out 2 men that would be coming home with them. Brian had been drinking all night and had taken his share of poppers so he was feeling no pain except for the pain in his heart.

The men ended up in their hotel rooms with their tricks for the night. Brian let the mindless sex takeover.  About 4 a.m. Brian kicked the men out of the room and passed out on the bed feeling physically satisfied but how did he fill the hole in his soul.   

Brian hit Justin's icon on his phone. It was 3:00 in Minneapolis.  "Hey, Bri," came across the line. The voice was tired but not sleepy.

"Sunshine! Are ya' fuckin' someone? Did I interrupt? If you are I hope I did!"

Justin was sure Brian was drunk and high as a kite. "Where are you, Baby?  You are somewhere safe, aren't you? Are you with Dan?"

"I'm at the Plaza. Dan's in the next room. Don't know if he's alone?"

"It doesn't matter if he's alone, Baby.  Did you need something? It is kind of late."

"I need you.  I need your tight little ass. I need to wake up next to you." Brian's mood was crashing as they talked.  

"Sweety, you need to get in bed and go to sleep.  No more booze, no more drugs. I'll be home in 2 weeks.  Then you can do all that fun stuff to me. Get in bed, Brian. Are you in bed?

Brian climbed into the rumpled bed. "I'm in bed."

"Did you pull the blankets over you."

"Ya, I am all tucked in."

"OK, Baby.  Close your eyes and I will sing you to sleep."

"Love you, Sunshine. Come home to me. Yes, my eyes are shut."

Justin softly sang into the phone.

'Cause all of me

Loves all of you

Love your curves and all your edges

All your perfect imperfections

Give your all to me

I’ll give my all to you

You’re my end and my beginning

Even when I lose I’m winning

'Cause I give you all of me

And you give me all of you' ~John Legend (All Of Me)

"Brian," Justin said softely into the phone. There was no response.  He hit the end button.

Jarod sat on the other end of the sofa stunned at what he just witnessed. He had tears in his eyes as Justin sang so sweetly in the phone.  

As Justin ended the call Jarod was there to take Justin in his arms and just hold him close.  Justin sobbed and clung to Jarod.

Jarod stroked Justin's hair until he got himself under control.  

"Sorry about that.  You didn't have to witness that whole mess."

"That was some conversation. Does that happen often?"  

"Not anymore.  Do you mind if I just go to bed now?  We have a long flight to Seattle. I think it is time we talk about some things."

"Sure, Justin."

Jarod slipped into his own room through the adjoining door. He saw the lights go off next door shortly after he shut off his own. About 2 hours later Jarod woke up to a noise he didn't recognize at first. He got out of bed and realized it was coming from Justin's room. He opened the door slowly. Justin was thrashing around in the bed.  The only thing he heard was 'watch out' and 'Michelle'. Just as Jarod got to the side of the bed Justin shouted and sat upright on the bed.

"Justin, Justin you are OK." Jarod sat on the edge of the bed and for the second time tonight Justin was clinging to Jarod. This time it took Justin much longer to calm down.  Jarod finally slid into the bed next to him just to make it less awkward keeping his arms around him. He just held him. Eventually Justin slipped back to sleep and soon Jarod joined him.

Justin was half awake and snuggled up against the warm body next to him.  He reached over and laid a hand on his chest. He moved his hand around and realized it wasn't Brian.  He snapped completely wake, drawing his hand away quickly and pulling away.

"Oh, God, Jared what are you doing here? No, don't tell me, I had a dream didn't I."

Jarod nodded. "Sorry, I guess I fall asleep after you did. You OK this morning? You had a rough night."

"Thank you for just being here and not asking a lot of questions. You really are a good friend. And, yes, I owe you some explanations.  Tomorrow's plane ride we can have a long talk."

Brian woke up the next morning with a hangover.  He felt like shit. Did he remember calling Sunshine?  He found his phone in bed with him and realized he must have.  And if he remembered correctly Justin sang him to sleep. He would call him a little later, before the show.   

There was a knock on his door.  "Hey, Brian, you awake." Dan's voice came through the door not too loudly.  

"Ya, I'm coming." Brian opened the door and Dan strode in.  He didn't look as bad as Brian but he obviously also was feeling the results of last night. "From the look on your face you had a successful evening also." Brian stated.

Dan got a sly smile.  "I have no complaints.  How about you?"

"it was a good fuck, what I remember of it."

"You were totally out of it.  I was a bit concerned how wasted you were."

"Let me guess, Sunshine made you promise to watch out for me."

"I wish I had someone who loved me half as much as that man loves you.  He knows you so well. He expected you to do what you did last night."

"And he gave me permission to do exactly what I did last night. I am not hiding anything from him."

"You two have an amazing relationship.  How about we head out and go home. I am thinking we both could use some food. "

As the left they reserved their rooms for the next weekend.  They stopped at a diner for some breakfast and then went home.  It was after noon by then. Brian climbed into bed and dozed off for a couple hours.  When he woke again he called Justin. It would be after 2:00 in Minneapolis.

The phone rang several times before going to voice mail.  Brian left a message asking him to call. Brian lit a cigarette and tried to remember last night.  He had been a mess when he called. He was still thinking about it when the phone rang.

"Hi Sunshine!"

"Sorry I missed your call.  I wanted to talk to you by myself so I threw Jarod out."

""Well, I think that is a great reason.  Now you can talk dirty to me with no one listening."

"Are you OK today?  You were a mess last night or I should say this morning."

"I'm sorry." Justin could hear Brian's regret in his voice.

"Brian, you didn't do anything wrong.  You were with Dan and you weren't at the house.  I wish you would take it easy on the poppers but …"

"I know, Sunshine, but you weren't surprised now, were you. Since you have Dan watching me." Brian chuckled a bit. "I guess I don't blame you.  Did I say anything stupid?"

"No, said you wanted to fuck me and I couldn't have agreed more.  Did you sleep well once you settled down?"

"Did you actually sing me to sleep?"

"You were getting really wound up so I thought I would try that."

"What did you sing to me?  Sing it again, please."

Justin sang the words to Brian.

Brian was quiet for a second when Justin finished. "I do love all of you. Justin Taylor."

"I love you too, Baby."  

They talked for a few more minutes when there was a knock on the door and Jarod's voice said, "Justin, we need to head over very soon."

"I'll be right now." Justin said to Jarod. He went back to the phone call. "I have to go, Brian.  We need to head to the gallery. In 2 weeks we will be together. I miss you, Baby, I love you."

"I love you too, Sunshine. I am making sure my calendar is completely clear while you are home."

They both said goodbye several times, not wanting to break the connection but eventually they hung up.

Monday morning came.

The art show wrapped up in Minneapolis and Jerod and Justin made sure everything was packed before heading to the airport for Seattle.

Brian knew he was in for another busy week. The busier he stayed the quicker Justin would be home.