CHAPTER 20: IT AIN’T NO GAME. IT’S A LOVE THING (Splatterday continues)

EMMETT:

Honestly, I’m not sure what to think or feel right now. But the one thing I am sure of is that I’m so fucking proud of Baby. Had I known that Michael said that shit about him at the anniversary party, I would have punched his ass out myself. I mean the absolute NERVE to wish someone dead like that, especially someone that all of us care about! One thing’s for certain though, we all owe Big Bad a huge apology. We all should have asked what had happened, instead of automatically believing that Michael was completely innocent; something we are learning that he isn’t, more and more by the minute. I will be having a serious talk and groveling session with Brian Kinney when we are through here, and by the looks of it, I won’t be the only one.

“Before they are kicked out of here for good, I would like to say something,” Hunter speaks up. I can see that Michael’s words to Brian that fateful day have affected him far more than the rest of us, and that’s saying a whole lot.

“Shuzz da fucks up, you liddle thit! Thish ish all yourz fault!” Michael slurs. “Mas, I shthink my noz ish bwoke!”

“And that’s not all that’s going to be broke if you speak to my son that way again!” Ben yells at him. WOW! Zen Ben has obviously left the building to be replaced with Battering Ram Ben if his balled fist are any indication. Michael would do well to shut what they call the fuck up, before those hammers pick up where Justin left off!

“My fault?! My fault! Really?” Hunter’s eyes widened in disbelief. “And I suppose that I’m the one who dragged you off to Lance’s house! I must be the one who played the dirtiest tricks on my supposed best friend and his partner! But most of all, I must have acted as my own fucking…”

The room went silent as Hunter’s sentence drifted off. What the fuck has Michael done to the boy?? Realization dawns in each of our eyes, as we see his downcast face. “Oh my fucking God! Michael, you didn’t! Tell me right fucking now that you didn’t do THAT!” I scream. I am barely containing the anger I feel already, but to find out that Michael…

“He owed mez and stillsh doesh! He’sh just a whoresh anywaysh so I made him paysh hish way! Bigsh fucking dealsh!” he spits, and it takes both Ted and Ben to hold me back. I want to rip his mini-marbles off and put them in his nostrils, then take a hammer to the back of his fucking head to knock them out! How dare he? HOW DARE HE?!!!!!

Ben looks over to that bastard, even as I feel his restraining hand on my arm, trying to still the angry tremors I feel coursing through me. “Michael, you will be hearing from our attorney. Not only will I be suing you for the mortgage payments, but we will be pressing charges against you in a civil suit as well for emotional damage. It really should be that we’re pressing criminal charges, but I don’t want to put Hunter through a public trial. God knows he’s already been through enough!”

I can’t believe how calm he sounds even though I know differently. I mean, just when you think you know the worst about Michael, you find yet another layer of duplicity. I can’t believe we were all fooled by this… this…. “ASSHOLE! Michael, you are such an asshole! And so are you Debra, for sticking by the little bastard you birthed! I can’t believe we ever EVER considered you someone we could count on. But as long as we were taking care of that little fucking ingrate, all was right in your world, right? RIGHT?!!” I can’t even contain the hurt and fury I feel right now.

“Calm down, Em,” Ted says in a low whisper. “I think she knows what kind of person Michael is at long last. You know it’s funny, but Blake tried to tell me. So did Justin, but I thought they were exaggerating. No way could someone I considered a friend be that vindictive, right? I owe both of them, in addition to Brian, a big apology.”

“What the fuck are you apologizing to Brian for, Ted?” Deb asks in shock. “Michael is the one…”

“Who is the cause of all this drama!” Teddy yells at her. The way Deb just froze at Teddy’s raised voice would be funny if this wasn’t so serious. His reacquaintance with Dale is already working wonders… just saying. He huffs before continuing. “And just as the rest of us have been his flunkies, you’ve been the biggest one of all. I mean, seriously Deb, when the fuck are you going to wake the hell up?! Because of his machinations, you would have been thrown in fucking jail over a house that he never intended for you to live in, much less visit. How can you be so blind?!”

“But…”

“He’s right, Sis,” Vic informs her.

“So you’re siding with them? Against your own flesh and blood? Whatever happened to blood being thicker than water, huh Vic? But here you are standing against us, and for what?”

“I’m not taking sides, Deb, except the side of the truth. Since that also includes a healthy dose of decency and order, which the two of you lack, I suppose you would see it that way. And with good reason! Sis, Michael never intended for your help to be repaid. Just as you think everyone owes you, so does he. And that includes you most of all just for giving his sorry ass life. The only thing you have left to your name is your house because everything else, you’ve given over to him.”

“What the hell do you mean by that, Vic?!" she screeches, and I swear I just wish I had a fucking muzzle right now.

“It means that whatever dignity you’ve always claimed to have, you handed over to Michael a long fucking time ago. Your self-respect has also been missing for as long as I can remember. He’s used you to the point that after this, you’re going to lose everything you’ve ever held dear. Hell, Sis, you lost Michael when he was sixteen!”

“Yeah, to Brian fucking Kinney!”

“No, to his own selfish ass!” Vic yells back, and then takes a calming breath. “Think, Sis. THINK! For once in your life, try to see things clearly where Michael is concerned. How do you think Claire was able to start blackmailing Michael since he was sixteen, Deb?”

“She’s been blackmailing him? All this time?”

“Yeah, she has. But once again, you didn’t pay attention, did you? It didn’t concern you personally so you tuned your ears out to information, which actually would have helped you see just how far Michael had fallen. Did you know that Michael was the one to tell Jack about Brian’s scholarship hopes right before the night of his big game? He also told Jack about Brian’s part-time job. You do remember me and Michael taking him to the hospital that night, don’t you? You had a double shift at the Diner because there was a stomach flu epidemic going through the place and everyone except you, Tom, and Lucy had it. She worked the day, you and she worked the evening, but then you worked the overnight by yourself. Brian ended up with three broken ribs, a broken left wrist, and a fractured ankle, which he refused to sit out of the game for. But with all of that against him, he still earned that scholarship anyway. Remember? Well, that was just one of Michael’s efforts in a long list of things to try and tie Brian to him. It’s also just one of the situations Claire has been hanging over Michael’s head for all these years.

"There are others, many of which resulted in Brian getting his ass kicked by those drunken assholes he had the misfortune of being birthed to, and Michael used every single one to his best advantage. But Claire knew that if Brian found out what Michael had been up to- what he had DONE- then Michael could kiss his friendship goodbye, not to mention his delusions of being Mrs. Brian Kinney. I refuse to call them dreams because contrary to Michael's opinion, and apparently yours, that shit was never ever going to come true!"

“Yeth it was!” Michael protests.

“No the fuck it was NOT!” Vic retorts, before turning his attention back to Debra. "By the way, here’s another bit of information that you didn’t think applied to you, although it’s in the packet you received. Michael transferred the ownership title of Claire’s house into your name as well. He’s been setting you up to take the fall all this time, in case he was caught, and you didn’t even know it. Well congratulations, Sis. You wanted your son to be a mama’s boy, and you got it in spades. Only it wasn’t in the way you thought, where you could control him and keep him right where you’ve always wanted him, which is attached to you and sucking the proverbial milk from your tits. You see, just as you are an expert at manipulation and getting what you want through emotional blackmail, so is he. The thing is that it’s become evident that the student has surpassed the teacher. Good job!”

“The only thing he wasn’t counting on is that we would find out all of this, and ultimately force you to sign everything over to Brian or risk jail time. Right, Michael? You thought that your mother’s gift for self-preservation would never exclude you since you are her baby, right?” Mel gloats. “If she decides to stand by you now, that’s her choice, but it would also be a stupid one. However, although we are technically done with her, you are a different matter. I would suggest you leave and have your face looked at. You look like a raccoon that has seen better days.”

“I’z goshinto sue thatsh liddle fucksh!” Michael declares.

Mel laughs. “Don’t even think about suing Justin for whatever damage he’s done to you. Mitigating circumstances won’t even have to cover half the reason he hit you for the judge. But rest assured, he’d get off without jail time or a fine just based off our witness testimonies. And trust me when I tell you that we are all prepared to do that. However, in your case, you’ll be carted off the jail immediately once the truth of your assholeness comes out. Is that a risk you are willing to take?”

I have to hand it to Melanie. It’s something that I was wondering about as well. I mean, I know in theory that Michael was wrong to say what he did, but the resulting assault from Justin is a horse of a different color. Granted we all are just about a step away from commiting justifiable homicide, especially Jennifer, if the visual daggers she’s throwing Deb and Michael’s way are any indication. But I just couldn’t see it in terms of how the law may look at such a situation. The bottom line is that Michael kept striking out at Justin, and for the first time ever, he hit back. Literally. Surely the powers that be would’ve seen that he was provoked beyond that which any normal human being could, should, or would take?

“You’ll be back. You’ll all be back when all your plans blow up in your face. But you know what? You can count me out of it! I’m not saving you from yourselves ever again,” Deb threatens.

“In retrospect Debra, it’s apparent that you never did save anyone except your own ass or that of your small-minded clone with the broken nose,” Jennifer tells her. “Now if you don’t mind, we all have places to be and things to do that no longer include you. So be so kind as to leave… NOW!”

We watch as Debbie rolls her eyes at Jenn and breezes out of the conference room, leaving Michael to run behind her, pleading that she takes him to the emergency room. “Ma! I can’tsh divesh likesh thish. Pleash!”

I don’t know whether she will or not, but one thing is certain. She now has all of the information she needs to either keep being strangled by that invisible umbilical cord, as Justin puts it, or to finally let him take his hard knocks the way we all have had to do. And she has to make that decision without the safety net we’ve all provided for her over the years; we’re not going to be at her beck and call anymore. I don’t envy her.

BRIAN:

It always amazes me that even when justified, Justin always feels guilty for losing his temper. All the way home, I could feel the shame, hurt, and anger radiating off of him in waves. He has nothing to apologize for, although I know he’s thinking he should. Perhaps it’s part of his upbringing which causes him to feel like he’s at fault. I watched when his father pulled the same type of shit on him because he decided to live his own life, and not the one Craig Taylor had laid out for him. But just as I was then, I’m so fucking proud of him for standing up for what he believes in. He did something that in all the years I’ve known the Novotnys, I’ve never had the courage to do. He walked away with his head held high, and hasn't looked back. And now I’m so fucking grateful to him for teaching me how, and being the example for me to follow to break free of the emotional bondage they had me in. Same goes for my situation with Lindsay.

I’m not going to lie. That hurt for me to do, but it was totally necessary for my own sanity. But it's not my fault that I had to turn my back on her; that was all her. The entitlement issues she's always had are what really got the best of her this time. She was, once again, going to use Gus for nefarious purposes. What kind of father would I be if I allowed that to happen, or should I say, continue? I’ll never say that I am the best father, because surely I’m not. But I love my son with my whole heart, and I couldn’t stand by watching him be used to line Lindsay’s pockets yet again.

Mel told me about the ten-thousand dollars worth of new clothes and shoes she’d hidden in Gus’ closet. That doesn’t even include the clothes that she’d acquired from her john. For all her ‘Mother Earth’ appearances, Lindsay was a madam. The only difference is that she wasn’t running a brothel with other woman included. Oh no. She was the main whore herself! I'm trying not to think of what she'll have to do in prison just to survive what will be her new day-to-day. That shit will turn my stomach, even more than the fact that I'd slept with her in college did. It's why I fucked everything that moved and had a cock when I left her dorm room.

It’s sad to think that the two people I considered my closest friends- my family- are assholes that I never really knew at all. But what hurts me the most out of all of this is the loss of Deb. To think that she would do this to me, and all in an effort to keep Michael close, is painful in ways that no one can even imagine. I trusted her! I believed in her! I wanted to believe that I was valued for more than my bank account. It’s why I had no problem lending her money when she said she was short on cash. I wasn’t trying to buy her love; I thought I already had it. But it was a lie. A lie… A FUCKING LIE!

“Brian?”

I close my eyes, before turning from the bay windows in the loft to see Sunshine standing there. Just seeing him standing there in my sweats and tee is a balm to the daggers I feel piercing my heart at the thought of their betrayal. I like who I am becoming with him. The old me would have gone on a self-destructive binge by now, thinking that there is some sort of defect within me that makes me the target of such perfidy. But I know now that there isn’t. Justin makes me know that in so many ways. Just him being here, willing to hold my hand right now when my entire foundation is crumbling beneath me, means so fucking much. I have to…

I cross the room to him, urgency lading in each footstep. Before he can ask any questions, I’m kissing him, trying to convey everything I feel for him in this moment. Justin is my rock and my fortress; a force that guides me, and keeps me safe. I’ve wanted to tell him just that so many times, but… It’s funny that the one person who I was reluctant to give power over me, is the same person who would never hurt me willingly. Yet the others whose hold on me was so strong- those whose words and deeds I’ve trusted over and over again- are the ones I should have pushed away. I pull Justin to me even closer, using my tongue to draw his inherent strength into me. I need it; I need his kindness and goodness. I need…

I lead him up to the bed, undressing him slowly as I go. His strong arms release me long enough to pull his shirt over his head, before pulling me close again. Laying him down onto the bed, I quickly discard the sweatpants, exposing him fully to me. There are times when the world feels as if it stops spinning when I’m with him. This is one of those times. His skin is creamy, almost luminescent in the way it glows in its ethereal beauty. I’ve never been a poet, never proclaimed to even own softer feelings in any way, shape, or form. I mean me and the word soft in the same sentence have never been intimately acquainted. But if there was a way to describe the heart and soul of the beautiful man beneath me, that would be it.

“Brian, I…”

‘Shh. Let me…” I kiss him again deeply, slowing the urgency of the past few minutes down to a pace I know he secretly loves, but never admits to.

Finding the spot on his neck that drives him to distraction, I lav my tongue across repeatedly, listening to all those delightful little gasps until he lets out a lusty moan. Moving down his torso, I stop to pay homage to each of his taut nips, almost sighing in pleasure as he twines his fingers in my hair to hold me there. They grip and flex against my scalp in reaction to the tongue flicks and little bites I place there. All the while his moans are becoming louder in a panting rhythm. Justin is the only man I’ve ever known who can have a spontaneous orgasm from just having his nipples played with. In the past, I’ve used that knowledge as a form of orgasm denial, but today, I want him to cum in a different way.

So I leave there, constantly applying my tongue to various spots on his body that I know spike his arousal to a fever pitch. His third rib on either side; the left side of his navel; his right pelvic bone… all serve as a roadmap to getting the results I want. Bypassing his groin for the interim, I kiss and suck the inside of his thigh until I leave a little red mark on the flesh of his skin. It will be a constant reminder of this moment for at least a week, but one that I also know he won’t forget even long after its faded. While bringing his left leg up over my shoulder, I reach for the lube on my nightstand. At this moment, I’m ever so glad that we changed to the kind that pumps instead of squeezes. It makes short work to coat my fingers and get them inside of him, where they long to be.

Justin gasps as I rim his exposed hole with my forefinger. I like this position with him for so many reasons, but the primary one is the fact that I can look into his glazed eyes as he licks those tempting lips of his. Holding his gaze, I slowly take his cock into my mouth. His silent ‘oh’ has me ready to explode, even as I feel his dick getting harder. Beginning a slow, tortuous rhythm, I take him all the way down my throat, flexing the muscles there before sliding back up to the tip. His fingers in my hair trying to force me to take a faster approach, but I hold the pace while pinning his hips to the bed. For several long minutes, I keep Justin on edge, wanting him to know that just being near him does the same to me. Just being with him like this leaves me both satisfied and wanting more.

Finally I hear him beg for surcease and release, babbling almost incoherently of his love for me. I’m almost ashamed to admit that when he used to do that, I couldn’t understand how he could love me when he didn’t really know me. But he did. Even then he knew what I wanted, but wouldn’t allow myself to acknowledge. Now I will. So help me, I will never let those words leave his lips in vain ever again. He’ll know that they are returned a million fold if it takes the rest of my life to prove it to him.

I grab a condom, handing it over to him. He knows this routine, and smiling he performs the task. Having Justin’s hand roll the rubber down my length is almost like having him jerk me off. When he adds the little twist at the base, well it takes everything in me not to cum every single time. I enter him slowly, allowing his body to adjust to the intrusion. I don’t know how, but he’s as hot and tight as the night I met him. No matter how many times, or how hard and fast we fuck, Justin’s ass always grips me just right.

Once I bottom out, I lay here on top of him, nose-to-nose, just looking. I hope that he can hear all the things I can’t say, especially in this moment. I guess he did because when he closes his eyes and sighs before bringing our lips together again, I could almost feel the relief and gratitude that we’re here together pour from him. Whatever tension he had from today’s contretemps has officially ebbed, and I’ve never been happier.

I begin to move in the rhythm that our bodies know so well, leading him through the new landscape of where I want us to be from now on. I keep the movements shallow at first, before deepening them and adding a snap to my hips at the last moment. Justin is mine! In every way that matters, he belongs to me, and in turn, I’m his. There are no strings, but we have an unbreakable bond, and have since night one. I change the depth and pace to convey that and can feel his body’s franticness in response. I’m not giving him a moment to think and regroup, but demand that he follow my lead this time.

For too long, Justin has been light-years ahead of me regarding what’s between him and I. He wouldn’t let up, knowing that what we’ve found with each other was more than just special. It was magic; it still is. But it’s time for me to be the man he’s always believed me to be. Time for me to be the man who is so much more than having sex without a conscience. It’s not only what Justin deserves, but what I’ve earned.

“MINE! Say it, Justin. Say that you’re mine.” I demand as I pick up the pace once again. All these internal thoughts and feelings are making me feel that I need to stake my claim.

“Yours, Brian. I was always yours. You just… you just needed to know it for yourself.”

“I’m never. NEVER. FUCKING. LETTING. YOU. GO. AGAIN! You are…”

“I know. Please, Bri...I need to…”

“Promise me, Jus. PROMISE dammit!” And I know that he knows what I’m asking. I can’t see his face for the tears clouding my vision. I’m so fucking scared of this thing between us, and yet I’ve never felt so powerful as I do right now. All these conflicting emotions and the fact that…

“I won’t, Brian. I would never ever betray you. I love you. You know that, right?”

And looking down into his eyes full of unshed tears, I know beyond a shadow of doubt that he understands everything I’ve been trying to get across to him. My world as I knew it just got narrowed down to two- Justin and Gus. The others, although I care for them all a great deal, will never mean more to me than the man straining beneath me, and my son. They are my entire universe. And as I release into Justin while his tribute pools on his chest, I feel a completion that I’ve never expected to feel in my life. I feel healed in spite of all that’s happened today and will occur in the coming days until this storm in our lives is over. I feel ready for the battle of whatever comes in the future that will try to break us up. I feel whole, and it feels fucking amazing!

“I love you too, Justin. For now and always.”