CHAPTER 21: THE ANTI-MICHAEL, CAPTAIN P.I.T.A., and MIKEY Jr.

JUSTIN:

Monday happened up a little too early for mine and Brian’s liking. Although we were tired as hell, we still had everyone over to the loft yesterday. It was apparent that we were all still reeling from the confrontations from Saturday. The bright spot was that Mel had brought Gus with her so Brian and I didn’t have too much time to be melancholy about Deb and Michael. That little boy can bring a bright spot to any situation. He has such a sunny disposition that it’s infectious. I hope as he grows older, he stays that way.

“You need an assistant, Sunshine,” Brian tells me as we walk into the building which houses Vanguard Advertising.

“I know, but Cynthia is working out quite well for both of us. Why are you bringing this up now?”

“Because technically Kinnetik just grew monumentally, which means a lot more staff and departments. We’re all pretty much doing double duty, except Ted who has the monumental tasks of handling both Kinnetik’s money and our personal finances. Cynthia is the Chief of Operations, which means the bulk of the duties for Human Resources also falls to her. Plus she’s still going to be working as my personal assistant. No way am I replacing her. You’re going to be running both the Art and Media departments, plus working as the co-CEO of Kinnetik, which means you’ll be traveling with me, and in rare instances separately. Hence the reason you need an assistant.”

“Uh-huh, and I take it you already have miracle worker in mind?”

“I do, and it’s someone I’m sure you’ll get along famously with,” he tells me as we step off the elevator.

“As long as it’s not some pretentious jackass like Avery or some wannabe-WASP like Lindsay, I’m sure I’ll survive”

“You should thank your fucking stars that I’m not like either of those two idiots,” comes the familiar voice behind me. “Hi, Brian.”

“DAPH!”

“In the flesh!”

“A pleasure to see you as always, Darling,” Brian drawls before placing a kiss on her cheek. “If I ever switch teams, I’m coming for you.”

She snickers as she blushes as usual. “I’m counting on it, Hot Stuff.”

“Oh my God! What are you doing here?”

“I believe Brian just told you,” she says as she hugs me back tightly.

“You?”

“Well don’t sound so surprised, Jus.”

“I thought you were following the plan and becoming a doctor.”

“That was the plan, but it will just take too damn long. Besides, I took a page from your book and got up the courage to tell my parents what I wanted to do.”

“I’m so sorry that I missed your graduation, Daph. But we needed the money and I couldn’t afford to take the time off.” She waves that way. Although there were few opportunities to see each other over the past year, she and I still spoke frequently. But she didn’t tell me any of this. “So, how did they take it?”

“Pretty well, actually. They told me that as long as I obtained a lucrative and permanent position within the year, they wouldn’t push the issue. Sure, I could have succeeded in the medical field, but I just didn’t want to wait until I was almost thirty to feel some ease. It was a pain in the ass to take all of those AP business courses when we were Hades High, but I’m grateful that I passed every single one. It allowed me to graduate an entire year earlier than if I’d tried to transfer all of my pre-med credits.

"When I ran into your mom a few weeks ago, she told me that you and Brian had started up Kinnetik, but that it would take some time before you guys would be able to hire other employees. So imagine my surprise when I get a call from your sexy partner- whose voice I must say even oozes sex over the phone- to tell me of a new position that just opened up within your company.”

I can’t help it. I throw myself into Brian’s arms and kiss the hell out of him. Not only for what he’s done for Daph, but because he knew I would need someone around me who understands the way I work. She’ll also be able to calm me down when I get too wound up, and am on the verge of panicking; a task which has fallen to Brian and Cynthia these past weeks. Like Cynthia does for Brian, Daphne won’t allow me to keep my head in my ass past a few minutes before kicking me back into work mode. Between the two of them, Brian and I will keep the focus on the task at hand, instead of splitting apart into a million pieces. It’s an awesome responsibility.

“Have you taken a course in Human Resources Management yet?” Brian asks her.

“That’s the class that put me over the edge to graduate a year early, It was always the plan that when I received my Medical license that I would go into private practice. My mom didn’t want me to make the same mistake she did in trusting the office assistant completely, and not paying attention until something big happens. So she made it mandatory that I take that class so I would never just leave the hiring of employees to someone else.”

“I knew you would be perfect for this, Daphne. I want you to sit in on the meetings next to Cynthia this morning. First, we’re going to be going over Vanguard’s employee files before bringing them in. Cynthia and I already have some ideas on who we want to keep, promote, and fire immediately, but I want to see what you think of them. Justin is going to have his own administrative staff within the Art and Media departments. It will be your job as his assistant to keep them in line, or write them up.”

“Don’t worry about it, Brian. Justin will vouch for me that I do not accept mediocrity. It’s why I had a real problem with the pretentious ass who shall remain nameless. I hear that his cousin has already been fired.”

I laugh. “How did you hear that I canned Avery? That just happened on Friday.”

“There’s a saying that goes when you want to talk shit, always check behind you. He came into the coffeeshop and met the ass, going on and on about you and your lack of decorum, and how you were trying to be a Kinney, junior. Well let’s just say, I wasn’t having any of that.”

“What did you do?” Now I know my best friend. She will defend me at all costs, even if she catches a criminal charge behind it. She’s also smart enough to talk her way out of trouble, but ballsy enough to admit that she did it if she’s pissed off enough.

“Well, let’s just say that I doubt they will look at another cup of hot latte and not think of me. I also doubt that they will be using their dicks for anything other than to pee for quite some time.” And how she looks so innocent while saying that as Brian and I stand here wincing at the imagery, I will never know.

“Memo to self: Do NOT piss Daphne off. My dick is way too valuable to Justin to be burnt at will.”

“Good on you to remember that,” she says, laughing.

“And here I thought Cynthia was the only woman of your acquaintance besides my mom that could make your balls shrivel.” I laugh. “I think I’ll keep her around.”

“Sunshine, it’s not nice to mention my balls and shrivel in the same sentence. You’re going to pay for that later, naughty boy.”

“Hmm, why do you think I did it?” I reach over to kiss him.

“Alright, you two, let’s get to work.” Daphne says, putting the brakes on what was sure to be a very hot kiss.

“She’s channelling Cynthia already.” I shiver as Brian nods.

“Indeed. There will never be a dull moment, that’s for sure.” He laughs, “I can’t wait to see the terror she unleashes on the staff.”

And knowing Daphne the way I do, neither can I. She may look sugary sweet, but Daphne has bite. She’s spicy and sassy; there is no middle ground with her. The worst thing anyone can do is think she’s a pushover and underestimate her. Daphne is what my grandmother used to call a scrapper. She’ll push, shove, and will run roughshod over anything that gets in her way. The people within these walls are about to find out just how ruthless this sweet-looking young lady can be. I chuckle to myself. Let the asskicking and housecleaning commence!

CYNTHIA:

Well, I have officially met the Anti-Michael. I’ll admit that upon meeting Justin’s best friend and new assistant, Daphne Chanders, I didn’t know what to expect. Lord knows that it’s been downright wonderful to have a whine-free zone with a whole lot less clinginess. I would have probably quit if I had to go back to that at this juncture. I love Brian and Justin, and definitely love working with them, but if there is one thing I’ve learned over the years it’s that I am responsible for my own mental health… and Michael Novotny, his mother, and that cooing bitch Lindsay, have tested mine more days than not!

But getting to know Daphne is quite eye-opening, and honestly, a game-changer. She looks a lot like Justin. Not in facial features or skin color or anything like that, but in that innocent-looking quality they both possess. One wouldn’t automatically know that behind the sweet looks, there are not only agile minds, but very astute ones as well. They look unassuming, and yet are completely implacable in what they want or expect. I’ve taken to calling them mini-Brian and mini-Cynthia in my head because they do indeed remind me of the way people used to view Brian and I before people finally got hip to the fact that, behind the facades were a couple of very shrewd people. Perhaps it’s a WASP thing, but a whole lot of people are about to be blindsided by these two sharks-in-training.

It was decided that whereas Brian and I would handle the Ad, Finance, and Legal Departments with Harold’s help, Justin and Daphne would deal with the Art and Media Departments. After reviewing each file and taking copious amounts of notes, Daphne would ask Brian and I what our history was like with each of the employees. At first, I’ll admit that I didn’t understand what she was doing, but as each person was called before us, it became clear. She had spoken with Justin at some point, and they were not only deciding who they were keeping on staff, but weeding out the ones who could work in the building that we were going to be in. They didn’t just want people who were going to work hard. No, they wanted to know who had vision and who didn’t. The ones who were good, but couldn’t come up with their own concepts to save their lives would remain here. However, those who were driven and wouldn’t mind putting their own ideas up against any ad execs within the company, including Brian, were the people Justin wanted working directly on his team. It was a unique concept, and would surely become the new model by which Kinnetik would not only become a one-of-a-kind company, but one that had the unlimited potential for global success. So Brian and I began to do the same.

I think the thing that surprised Brian and me the most was how much Daphne really knew about art. One would think that most of her knowledge would be based on her friendship with Justin, but it’s an assumption that would be dead wrong. While looking at different campaigns done at Vanguard’s art department, both- and yes I mean BOTH- managed to spot several mistakes and ‘borrowed’ techniques from other ads they’ve seen many times. Some of them even bordered on copyright infringement to a severe degree. It was a situation that would NOT be tolerated going forward. Even the cookie cutter accounts would be held to a high standard- much higher than they were used to under Gardner’s rule. Which brings us to the next two people to come in.

Bob and Brad Nelson did everything together. They ate together, worked together, lived together. Brian had often remarked aloud that they probably even fucked together in the same bed with their bobbsey twin wives- an image I can assure you I did not need. The problem here is that they also fucked up together… over and over, and each time was worse than the last. Even in the days of Ryder, Bob (the ad exec) and Brad (the artist) just couldn’t ever seem to get it right. Brian had refused on many occasions to work with them, and now that he was in charge of the company, the results wouldn’t be any different.

“We brought the two of you in here to personally tell you that you’re fired,” Brian says, barely containing his glee at finally being able to do what he’s longed to do for a little more than ten years.

“Uh, last we heard you were the one fired, Brian. Don’t tell us that Gardner relented and gave you your job back?” Brad sneers. Wrong move!

“Hello, Bob and Brad. I’m not sure you remember me…”

Bob snickers. “The most infamous intern since Monica Lewinsky? Who could ever forget you?”

Instead of getting upset, Justin smiles. I swear he needs to teach me how to freeze my face like that. It’s all ‘butter wouldn’t melt’, but this is apparently lost on the two jackasses whose jobs he holds in the palm of his hand. However, I’m surprised when it’s Daphne who takes over.

“Be that as it may, we are also the people now in charge of staffing for the company formerly known as Vanguard Advertising. The new company, Kinnetik, is a unique organization with a very discerning client list. That said, as Brian has mentioned, you are BOTH fired. Brian and Justin only want innovative people working for them, and the fact that your ideas border on copyright infringement lets all of us know that the one brain cell you obviously share between you is not only defective, but it also stopped working, oh say, around the time you left your mother’s womb. Please make sure that we have the correct inbreeding site- oops, I meant to say your home address- on file, so that we can get your final checks in the mail today. Your personal effects have already been cleared out of your desks by security,” she informs them, and honestly, it’s taking everything in me not to laugh. If she didn’t sound like Brian just now, I don’t know who would have. Inbreeding site, indeed!

“In other words, let the doorknob hit you, where your wives should have bit you,” Brian adds. “Goodbye.”

“You let that little girl playing at being an adult talk to us like that?! She doesn’t even look old enough to work here! You’ll be hearing from our attorney, Brian.” Brad threatens.

“We’ll look forward to it,” Justin answers for them both. “Would you like a copy of the work that’s causing your termination? I’m sure if your Cracker-Jack box attorney drinks Coca-Cola he’ll find your imitation of their polar bear concept a hoot. Same goes for several other well-named brands. What? No original response? Why is that not shocking? Bye Dumb and Dumber, but you really can’t call yourselves that either, can you? You know, because of that pesky copyright law and all. Guess you’ll have to come up with a new name while you take your pitiful show on the road, Good day!”

As they close the door behind them, I look at those innocent looking firebrands. “Jesus, you two leave nothing but the bones, do you?”

They smile and Brian laughs. “You should see them when they’re angry.”

No thank you!

MICHAEL:

“If he thinks that I’m taking this bullshit lying down, he’s a fucking fool!” I yell as I pace around the apartment I used to share with Ben.

I finally had a chance to go through the packet Brian and Boy Wonder handed me and Ma. I’m still having a hard time figuring out just how they acquired all this information. It makes me wonder just how much more they know. I wonder if Lance can hack into their computers to see what else they’ve found. Brian has to have a friend outside of me that I didn’t know about, and that’s just not allowed. As soon as I figure out who the fucking person is, they will have a whole list of problems to do deal with. I’ll see to it!

“AND HOW THE FUCK DID THEY FIGURE OUT THE PASSWORD TO THE SECRET FILE?!”

I am interrupted by the pounding on my door. When I stomp over to it, I am faced with the landlord and his smarmy smile. “Mr. Novotny, it is my great pleasure to tell you that you have been evicted.” he says as he hands me the yellow slip.

“What? What the hell are you talking about? My rent is paid up through the next six months!” I begin to peruse the paper.

“Be that as it was, the money has been returned to its rightful owner, and you have been ordered to vacate the premises within the next three days. Since the mail is overflowing your mailbox downstairs, I took the liberty of having a new slip drawn up.”

“What do you mean the rightful owner? That money…”

“Came from Benjamin Bruckner’s account, and has been returned to him upon his voluntary removal from the premises. That said, the new owner of the building felt that you are an undesirable, and since several of the tenants here agree with her, you are being evicted. As a parting gift, a number of the tenants got together and put together a list of places that may have vacancy.”

A number of the suggestions included returning to Ma’s house and Hell. There was even the suggestion that I shit myself out of my own ass and then put myself back in there since it’s all I’m worth. I roll my eyes at the man. “Well who’s the new owner? I would like to speak with them immediately. Evicting me within three days is highly illegal.”

“Not particularly, since the date on the notice is actually predated from the date that Mr. Bruckner, who was well-liked, moved out. Had you been here to open your mail, you would have received it the very next day.”

“WHAT?!” I gasp. There is no way this was fucking legal, and I tell him so. “Ben only moved out…”

“Four weeks ago last Saturday, Mr. Novotny. The new owner actually granted you a grace period of five days past the noted day of eviction, in an effort to seem gracious.”

“Gracious, my ass! This is…”

“Perfectly legal. It’s no one’s fault but your own that you were away, nor is it anyone else’s fault that you were neglectful in picking up your mail. You have three days. I would suggest the name of a moving company, but well… I really don’t like you. Good riddance to bad rubbish, and about time too!” He laughs as he heads back downstairs.

I look at the name of the company who now owns the building, and want to destroy everything in this fucking place! I am so tired of this bitch fucking with my life! As I get ready to hurl the glass of vodka I was nursing, I calm down enough to think of how I can work this to my advantage. Narrowing my eyes, a slow smile creeps onto my face. He wouldn’t want to see me homeless, now would he? Catching a glimpse of myself into the mirror, I realize what a bad idea that was since I fucking scared myself. Both of my eyes are black and my nose is covered by a thick white cast. But fuck it! He owes me!

With that thought firmly in mind, I grab my jacket and make my way out the door. This is my chance to take back what’s mine!

DAPHNE:

I don’t think I have ever enjoyed a day more, and it’s not even half over. Tomorrow we have to come back to the office formerly known as Vanguard. There is still more housecleaning to do, the picking of department heads, and the like. But right now, we’re heading over to the other building, where I’ll be spending the bulk of my time. I still can’t believe Brian and Justin bought the building where they first had sex in public. It definitely gives new meaning to the phrase putting on good karma.

We decide to take Brian and Justin’s new SUV when Justin stops short. As I careen into the back of him, I begin to understand why as the low growl beside me emits from Brian. No that little fuck did NOT! He thinks he can do this! Justin narrows his eyes and straightens his spine, and I recognize the WASP cloaking maneuver immediately, so I do the same. Before Cynthia even has a chance to asks what is going on, Justin decides to get the confrontation over with.

“What the hell are you doing here, Ethan? And why the hell are you sitting your scrawny ass on our vehicle?” If Justin is as angry as Brian looks, we all may be hiding a body before too long.

“No kiss for me, Justin? It wasn’t too long ago that you would greet me with a kiss,” he goads, looking to Brian for his reaction.

“No, that was you forcing them on me trying to stake a claim which in reality, you never had. Besides that, it still doesn’t change the fact that you shouldn’t be here.”

“Sure, I should. We have important matters to discuss.”

“Like?”

“Like how you could go back to the whore standing beside you. Justin, we both know that he can’t give you what I can; what you want. Besides money, he can’t give you all the things your little heart desires. I’m here to offer you a chance to correct another of your monumental mistakes and save face. Come back to me. I promise I’ll never cheat again, unlike Brian, who can’t keep his dick out of someone else’s ass to save his life.”

“Ethan, the day I left your lying, cheating ass was the day I corrected the most monumental mistake of my life.”

“How?! By going back to the Whore of Liberty Avenue?”

I can tell that this needs to be wrapped up quickly since we’re already drawing the interest of an unwanted audience. If word gets out that there is trouble within Kinnetik’s management, even if it has nothing to do with work, the foundation of power we are trying to establish will already be on shaky ground. I pull on the back of Justin's suit jacket. “Justin…”

“Let me handle this?” Brian interrupts, never taking his eyes off the chin-rat bastard steadily making his way towards Justin. “Please, let me…”

I don’t think I have ever heard Brian ask in such a tone before. There’s a couple of underlying notes to his voice that make me wonder if something is going on between them of which I’m unaware. On the surface, there is a pleading note, which in and of itself is shocking, but there is also a confidence there that is hard to miss. It’s like Brian knows that whatever bullshit Ethan spouts won’t make a bit of difference to Justin. Considering where they were within their relationship a mere year ago, I would be apt to believe wholeheartedly in miracles.

Justin looks to Brian, having a silent conversation. They are the only two people I have ever seen do that, and it always leads them to some unforeseen understanding. It’s fascinating to watch, and yet in a way, so sad. It often creates a longing within those of us who have observed it that we would find something similar; but the chance of that happening is almost nil. For my part, I noticed it even the night Justin stole Brian’s tricks, before Brian stole him back from them. The heated look they shared spoke volumes, without a word exchanged between them. Emmett, who was also there the second night Brian took Justin home with him, said that it also happened the morning after the Rage party, across the crowded Diner. He said that whatever was said between them charged the air, as if lightning was flashing within the building. He used the term filled silence when he told me about it, and I thought he was exaggerating. But now, watching the interplay of soundless words and emotions, I can believe it.

Justin nods, placing a hand behind Brian’s neck and bringing their lips together in a soft kiss. I don’t know if I sighed aloud, but my heart sure did. I wish some man would offer to defend me that way. “Go ahead, Brian,” he whispers, with their lips barely touching. “Just remember who I’m going home with.”

Turning to face his nemesis, Brian smiles. Now ordinarily, Brian has such a nice smile when we see it, which isn’t often enough, if you were to ask me. But right now, if I was Ethan I would be very afraid of seeing it. Brian has been known to be quite ruthless in business, but when it comes to defending Justin… well, let’s just say, I wonder if I ever took the shovel out of my car. Ethan is about to die. Now whether it be from the verbal dagger Brian is about to stick and twist in him, or from the mighty fist to the head both he and I want to give Ethan, is anyone’s guess.

“So, Ethan, I see you still haven’t learned.”

“No one is talking to you! Justin…”

“But I am talking to YOU, and as Justin’s PARTNER, I hold his attention. Not a never-will-be such as yourself.”

“Partner? Really? A real partner doesn’t continually cheat on his mate.”

Brian chuckles mirthlessly. “And that’s exactly why Justin couldn’t remain with someone as insipid and uneducated as you. Cheating implies secrecy. Granted, Justin did that to me for a time… with you, which to me means that you do not have a problem with it. Or is that only if it means you getting what you want? And for the record, he has apologized in all the ways that both matter and had us screaming in ecstacy; something I'm sure only you have done since Justin only bottoms for one man...me! I'm pretty certain that you have never even been enough to whet his voracious appetite for sex. Instead you are more like the a no-name brand of peanuts- stale, misrepresented, and usually highly overrated. However, to correct your misconception that I cheated on Justin, since Justin knew about ALL of my conquests, I had no need to hide anything. Why not go lick your own ass somewhere else, instead of trying to spread your rancid piss on territory that never was and will never be yours EVER? Not only are you making a fool of yourself, but MY HUSBAND is about to lose patience. And if that happens, I’ll drop you where you stand.”

Damn, Brian is fucking HOT when he knows he’s made a point. Apparently, Justin thinks so too, judging by the fine sheen of sweat on his skin right now. Oh to be a fly on the wall during that rousing reward to come! Although I’m not sure who deserves the prize more... Brian for taking care of the little pissant, or Justin for letting him. It's a tough call!

“Drop me where I stand? You threatening me?” Ethan sneers, and I just want to smack some sense into him for being stuck on stupid!

Brian laughs again, but this time he shakes his head. “Oh, you little imbecile. People like Justin and I don’t participate in an activity as trivial as threatening. We make promises, and most importantly, we keep them. You would do well to remember that.”

“You ARE threatening me! I ought to go to the cops.”

“You do that. In the meantime, please be advised that this entire conversation has been recorded WITH audio. I’m sure your agent will be interested in hearing you pursuing another man’s husband when you are supposed to be straight. Now come on, Ethan. Smile for the camera.” Brian turns his cellphone towards the idiot.

I don’t think that I have ever seen anything- let alone a person- turn that shade of gray or green.