CHAPTER 35: NE IMPERARET SANITATEM REDUCAMUS (Let Sanity Reign)

JUSTIN:

I am trying to figure out where to start this conversation. I’ve fluctuated repeatedly between going postal and trying to keep myself from falling apart again. Not to mention that my hand is throbbing, and I know it’s completely stress-related, as is the steady dull ache in my head right now. So we’ve decided to skip lunch and just come to the house. We still can’t quite go to the loft yet; the memories of Michael’s bullshit are still too fresh. Honestly, I would rather be there than here. Although this place has a homey feel, it’s still not home. It’s not where our saga began. And it’s now that I realize we can’t rid of it. At least, that’s one thing I’m sure of right now.

“So what do you want to do?” Brian breaks the silence each of us have been hiding in since my meltdown at the office.

“I don’t know. On one hand I want nothing to do with any of them for various, yet obvious reasons.”

“But on the other?”

“Each of them are qualified to do the jobs they were hired to do.”

“Wait a minute… you hired Eric and Hobbs?”

“I did. In a lot of ways it was to protect the reputation of Kinnetik…”

“But would you have hired them if you didn’t know who they were?”

“Unfortunately, I have to say yes. Eric was a computer science major when I met him. Looking over his transcripts, we would have been fools not to take advantage of his advanced education. As for Christian, it’s the same deal with his knowledge of graphics.”

“So how come I didn’t know Hobbs had a twin? An identical twin.” He shakes his head, still trying to absorb the knowledge of it.

“Christian was everything Chris Hobbs turned out to be, and more…”

“A closeted almost-murderer?!”

I wince at his description. “Christian wasn’t like that, but more like in the same boat I was in where Craig was concerned. Samuel Hobbs is as big a closet case as one has ever seen. To the world he’s a bigoted prick, but everyone has their secrets. Christian was sent away due to his knowledge of his father’s.”

“What do you mean?”

“Think Michael and Hunter,” I advise him. At his gasp of realization, I continue. “Samuel and the former coach of Saint James basketball team were having an affair. Christian walked in on his father bent over the desk getting pounded, but instead of going away quietly…”

“He didn’t!”

“Yeah… the both of them did. Only Samuel didn’t use his own dick; he used the handle of his cane.”

“How did you find out about it?”

“Christian and I were friends at the time. Neither Chris nor Samuel liked that very much, already having a suspicion about me, so we kept our friendship on the down low. But that day he came to me and told me what his father and the coach had done to him. The next thing I know, Christian is being shipped to boarding school across the country in California. It’s the one secret I have that I’ve never even told Daphne.”

“How did she take you hiring him?”

I laugh, because my best friend is a fucking menace. “She grabbed his balls and warned him that if he even thought of fucking with me, she would turn him into a eunuch.”

“I swear, not pissing that girl off is top priority. Even Cynthia wouldn’t have gone that far… at least, I hope not.”

“No… Cynthia would have made that promise with a set of rust-coated pliers close at hand.” Brian cringes and I have to laugh again. “So you want to tell me why Troy was in your office when I arrived?”

Brian shakes his head. “You first. What’s the deal between you two?”

“Why do you think the basketball coach was fired and Christian sent away? It wasn’t just at Samuel’s instigation, but Troy’s plan to blackmail Christian. It backfired royally because when the whole story was brought to Mitchell Perkins’ attention, Troy was put out of his house. He had to admit that he’d tried to fuck Christian when his father overheard Troy’s threats to him.”

“What a fucking mess,” Brian sighs.

“Indeed it is considering the two of them work for our company, albeit in different departments. So again, what was Troy doing in your office?” I have a feeling that I’m not going to like the answer, but I know that since Troy was given the assignment in Kinnetik Boutique, he had no real reason to be at Elite within Brian’s office. If there was a problem within his area, he was to go to his direct supervisor, and not make a special trip to Elite before following the chain of command. It was in the code of conduct which he obviously disregarded.

Brian heads over to the liquor cabinet, which further let’s me know that I’m not going to like the answer. He takes a long draught, not even bothering with a glass which is so unlike Brian. He closes his eyes before heading over to the bay window. “I met him when you and I were… well you were with the fiddler and…” He huffs out a frustrated breath. “I did something stupid. Something that I didn’t think would have these kinds of repercussions.”

“What repercussions?”

He drops his head, loosens his tie and once again, takes another drink from the bottle. “I hired him.”

“For Kinnetik, I know.”

“No. He was one of the new hires for Vanguard, so Cynthia and I didn’t bother to vet him before the company officially changed hands. Anyway, I didn’t know exactly who he was until he showed up in my office today.”

“Brian, you’re stalling. Just tell me who the fuck he is. It’s not like we won’t run into former tricks here and there, our past being what it is and all. We’ve both fucked people outside of each other before.”

“Yes, but this is different,” he mumbles.

“Look, there is no help for it but to tell me what it is I need to know about this guy, Brian. I promise whatever it is, I won’t judge you.” I know that’s what’s really bothering him. “Besides, it’s not like I can in good conscious anyway. I was with Ethan, and although we were always free to do what and who we wanted, I fucked up twice. I had a good reason to with Eric, but with Ethan… well we’re not going to rehash ancient history there. So based on what you’re reluctant to say, I’m gathering that this is another Kip Thomas situation.”

He gasps and I know I’ve nailed it. “Yes, and no,” he says.

“So what’s the ‘no’ part about?”

“Is that I... I actually hired him four nights a week for over a month.”

It was my turn to be shocked now. “Brian, you actually hired a…”

“Hustler, which was what he was at the time. On the positive note, he was putting himself through school, although I just found that out. But I… I requested that he dress like you… and wear your scent… and…”

“Did you call him by my name?” I don’t know why the answer is important to me, but for some reason it is. I think I can take just about anything but that.

I’m relieved when he shakes his head. “I barely spoke to him before, during, or after the exchange. Only enough to start proceedings, offer him a drink, and set up the next appointment after paying him. It was all very business like, which makes the second part of my answer a little more difficult.”

“That fucker hit on you, didn’t he?” I find myself becoming angry, and hell fucking YEAH, territorial. Brian is MINE! That’s it, that’s all end of story, put a fucking period at the end of the statement!

“He did, and not for a promotion, either,” Brian says, quietly.

“So the fucker thinks he can replace me in your bed permanently, does he? So what did you tell him?”

His eyes widen. “Do you even have to ask?”

“Just making sure, Brian,” I smirk. “So we’re on the same page. I will reiterate it at the office when I visit the art department in Boutique later this week.”

“Justin…”

“No, Brian. Just no. I understand just why we have to keep him on right now, but I swear that I will have my say. I’m not fucking around with ANYBODY where you are concerned this time around. I’ve had my fill of people trying to come between us for one reason or another. If we decide not to be together, that’s one thing. But I’m not going to sit back and endure deliberate sabotage again. FUCK. THEM. ALL!”

Brian grabs me up in a heated kiss, and I know what I’ve said is registering loud and fucking clear. Slamming me hard against the wall on the side of the bay window, he attacks my neck in the way he knows sets me off. Clawing at the back of his neck with one hand, I bring him even closer while the other loosens his tie. Brian doesn’t wait for me to finish as he detaches from my neck roughly, yanking the offending object over his head before delving back in. I smile briefly, looking up at the ceiling.

He knows just how I want it; how I need it. Starting on the buttons of his shirt, I hurriedly undo them as he alternately bites and sucks the pulse point in my neck. Yes! I want him to mark me, to make me HIS in every way that matters, but I want to do the same to him. I sink my teeth sharply into his muscled shoulder, then latch on to the spot and sucking vigorously.

His grunt of pain and groan of pleasure have me almost ready to cum in my pants as he redoubles his efforts to get me near the point of no return. I know this game, as we’ve played it many times before. It’s the one that makes me want to surrender to his mastery in all ways. His hands are everywhere and nowhere in particular, all at once. As I feel his fingers tugging at my nipples, I feel the resulting sensation zing in the head of my cock.

This man of mine controls my body in a way no other ever would have been able to if I was so inclined.

“Ugh! God… Brian…” I moan as his hand palms my bare cock. I don’t even know when he undid my belt to open my pants and slipped his hand inside.

“Did I call him by your name, indeed,” he mumbles as he travels his mouth to stop at my nipples. He bites and sucks them hard, causing me to arch into his mouth at the same time I’m pumping my dick into his hand. “How could you even imagine that I would?”

“I… I…”

Instead of telling me to shut the fuck up, he pulls my head down to his, kissing me breathless while laying me down onto the floor. Divesting me fully of my pants, Brian resumes his downward tract stopping only long enough to give a quick lick to both of my over-sensitive nips, before placing sharp and sucking kisses on my stomach. He gets up to get rid of the rest of his own clothes.

“Keep that hot and hard for me,” he whispers, placing my hand on my dick. “But go slow, Sunshine. I don’t want you cumming until I’m in you.” And just what the fuck did he say that for?! Now all I want to do is speed up to incur the spanking I know he desperately wants to give me. He must have discerned my thoughts because he says, “If you disobey me, I won’t paddle that ass hot pink.”

Grabbing up my suit jacket, he searches through the inside pockets until he finds the lube and condoms I always carry with me to the office. When he and I decided to try monogamy, he put me in charge of keeping the supplies close on hand, reasoning that he would be less tempted to fuck anyone but me if he didn’t have to think about the items burning a hole in his pocket or briefcase. I have to admit it gives me pleasure to think of him putting all this effort because it’s something that he really wants to do, not something I forced on him. As I told him, the tricks weren’t really the problem, but his reason for fucking everything that moved was. But I must admit, I like not having to wonder if some dude was better to him than I was.

I guess that’s why I needed to know about what happened when he fucked Troy; just needed the confirmation that there was no comparison.

Brian slithers back up my body, allowing the fine hairs on his to caress my skin. Twining his fingers with mine on the downstroke of my cock, he manipulates my hand to jerk me off in a way that always has me hissing in delight. As he employs his tongue to the tip, I gasp while he introduces two fingers into my ass. It’s a little painful, but the sensation quickly turns into pleasure as he begins to pump and scissor them simultaneously. Before I have a chance to demand what I want, he encases my cock in the wet heat of his mouth.

From root to tip, all I feel his mouth and throat muscles massaging me as his fingers angle to reach my gland. I’m as close to nirvana as I can get before he backs off, causing me to release a groan of bliss-suspended agony. He chuckles against the nerve endings of my dick, my body giving off an involuntary shudder as the tide within me recedes a little. But instead of taking it slow and working his way from the beginning again as I was expecting, he comes at me full force again, keeping me sustained on the precipice of satisfaction for untold minutes before stopping altogether.

“FUCK!” I yell as I was just reaching the point of no return, and he fucking stopped! Sexy, sadistic motherfucker!

“That’s exactly what we’re going to do right now, Sunshine,” Brian purrs in my ear. And without any further preamble, he enters me.

Now Brian has always been a well-endowed man, but right now, he feels so much larger. Before I know what’s happened, he’s fully seated and holding steady waiting for me to adjust. I slap his flank to indicate that I don’t want to wait anymore, but he holds still until I look up at him. Within his eyes, I read everything he feels in this moment. Anger on my behalf, love, and lust, and excitement.

But there is also a small inkling of hurt, and I know it’s because of my question earlier. How can I make him understand that it wasn’t because I thought so little of him? How can I explain that it was my own insecurities which caused me to wonder? I do the only thing I can. I tug at the back of his neck, bringing our lips together and hoping that everything I feel is in this kiss.

Once he and I are shuddering in response to the heated exchange, I hear a stuttering breath expel from his lungs before he begins moving.

At first, Brian drives into me with slow and steady strokes of devotion, pulling moans and sighs from deep within me, and responding in kind. But that soon changes. It becomes about the security of ownership, the notion that no matter what happens with this monogamy ideal, that he and I are it for each other. Brian reaches back and grabs both of my hands, placing them above my head and pinning them there. I know what he wants, and fuck if I won’t give it to him.

I would give him anything in this moment, if he but asked it of me. Hell, I have given it to him even when he didn’t know how to ask. I don’t take my eyes away from his as my body pays tribute to his, just as his does to mine a moment later. I lean up and kiss his lips softly while my hands are still pinned beneath his.

I whisper against them, “You’ve always had it, Brian. All you’ve ever had to do was ask.”

“You’re sure?”

I think a minute… am I really sure about this? “Yeah, I am. I’m in this for the long haul, Brian.”

“But you’re only…”

“I know how old I am, thank you. I was there, remember?” I smirk at him to take the sting out of my words.

“It’s just that with everything that’s happened, we haven’t really put the theory to the test, Justin.”

“And it’s making you less sure of yourself?”

“No.”

I close my eyes. It’s me he’s less sure of, and with good reason. My past with Eric, and with Ethan pick the most inopportune times to fuck with his head. But I won’t let it become a deterrent for Brian to go for what he wants with me, and only me. “Tell you what. Let’s set a real goal now; not just the month. Let’s go for the whole six.”

“Justin…”

“No, Brian. In the next few months, we’re going to have even more stress on us than when we began this. So if we can survive the next six without our usual methods for pain management, unless it’s with each other of course, then we’ll do it. No turning back, remember?”

He smiles the shy, tentative smile he reserves only for me. “No turning back. There is something else though…” I feel the tension enter my body. “Calm down, Sunshine. It’s nothing bad.”

I release the breath, which had instantly been trapped inside my lungs. “Oh, okay. Then, what is it?”

“We need to be on a plane by Thursday night. I think it’s time we take some newfound friends up on their offer for a mini-vacation. I want to ask Mel for her and Gus to go, too.”

“Then you might want to put on some clothes, and ask me yourself. Looking at your bare ass is just not appealing on so many levels!” Mel says from the doorway.

“Don’t hate, but emulate, Mel! You too could have a well-toned ass, although yours will take a lot more work to get. I was born into this perfection.”

“Yeah, well, hey whatever, just cover your perfection up! I think we need to establish some house rules, like putting a fucking sock on the doorknob or something so that I don’t see parts of you I really have no desire to see… AT ALL! Thank God, I missed the ending salvo in person, although I heard it all the way from the damn driveway.”

“Is it just me you don’t want to see, or do the rules apply to Sunshine, too? I can’t help but notice that you’re only addressing my nudity and not his. And you’re a lawyer; aren’t you supposed to be impartial during these things?”

We can still hear her grumbling to Gus as she makes her way to the kitchen. As embarrassed as I am, I can’t help but laugh. Living with Brian and Mel will never be dull!