CHAPTER 51: CUTTING THROUGH THE MEAT, TO GET TO THE BONE… OF CONTENTION?

JUSTIN:

It’s been three weeks since the roundabout with Lindsay, three weeks for her to try her next trick. I would be worried about that but… nah, my feelings aren’t set up that way. The only thing that’s still rubbing my ass raw at this point is what Christian Hobbs could possibly have to tell Brian and me that has him sitting with us behind the closed door of Brian’s office.

“I don’t know if you’ve heard yet, but my brother has been re-arrested,” he says, looking down at his hands.

“We hadn’t, but what has that got to do with Kinnetik?” Brian asks.

“It doesn’t… well except that the DA has decided that he needs to be retried for bashing you, Justin. Ordinarily, double jeopardy would be applied, but there's some sort of petition for a new trial he filed because the case was mishandled. Chris is officially being charged with Attempted Murder.”

And with that pronouncement, I feel as though time has stopped. Unfortunately, the ticking of the clock on the wall tells me it hasn’t; nor does it afford me my wish to rewind time within the last ten minutes to have denied this meeting with the identical twin brother of my attacker. The last thing we need to have to do is rehash that time in our lives again. We’d finally gotten past all the bullshit, and here it is recycling again?!

With the trials for Michael and his band of merry thieves and assholes looming, I simply don’t know how much more Brian and I can take without destroying everything in our paths… including, but not limited to, each other. It’s not that things have been so bad between us. Quite the opposite actually, since he let me be there for him and restore his equilibrium after the confrontation with Lindsay. He didn’t even ask me why I didn’t tell him and Melanie what I knew when I came back from Lynette’s baby shower. He simply realized that I had needed the advantage the element of surprise afforded me to take the wannabe-Queen WASP down to her bleached blond roots.

But afterwards, Brian was reeling. There was no doubt that my revelations into Lindsay motives both past, present, and future, hurt my lover and my friend deeply. I mean they blindly trusted Lindsay, never suspecting her capable of such mercenary tactics beneath that faux-serene exterior. Whereas Melanie sought out Janean for companionship and comfort, Brian turned to me, but he’s also been on a work, Gus, and fuss binge since.

“So what’s your real motive for imparting this information?” Brian asks, and I can feel the tension thrumming through him as I place my hand on his thigh.

“Motive?”

“That’s what I said,” Brian answers, with a slight edge to his voice. “I mean, we were bound to be contacted by the DA anyway, so what’s with the heads-up?”

“My… my father knows that I’m back in town, and has demanded to see me,” Christian whispers. I can feel his fear from here.

“So basically, you want to use the conference room here?” I ask him, remembering why he would ask such a thing. Brian only knows some of the story through my retelling of it, but I saw the aftermath for myself.

“If it’s possible. I know that I have no right to ask. It’s your business and if I were you, I wouldn’t want a monster like Samuel Hobbs anywhere near me, either….”

“And you don’t now, so why accept the invitation?” Brian asks.

“Because it wasn’t a request,” I tell Brian. “By doing it here within the halls of Kinnetik, Christian will be doing what is required of him, but on his own terms. Remember I told you that’s one of the rules of WASP. Give them what they expect but not the way they want it.”

“So you’ll let me use the conference room?” Christian asks, biting his lip.

Brian sighs. “Sunshine, it’s your decision, but I would suggest that we bring Cynthia in as the Chief of Operations. Daphne, too. In fact, I think it’s best that Daphne stay with you during the meeting.”

“Why?” I turn to Brian to gauge what he’s thinking.

“You know your best friend, Justin. First, little Penny won’t rest until she has her pound of flesh. Having her there will immediately put Hobbs, Sr. on the defense. He won’t even think to say anything out of the way to Christian with her present. Secondly, I absolutely refuse to let you be within a five mile radius of the fucker. Christian wants to have the meeting here; those are my terms.”

I nod in agreement, seeing the wisdom of the plan. Considering all I know of the past Hobbs family history, caution is best exercised in this way. “So Christian, can you accept Brian’s terms?”

“I can, but you know he’s going to demand to see you, Justin.”

“And that’s the most important role Daphne will fulfill. Hobbs, Sr. has no position within this company, whereas Daphne does. So does Cynthia. In fact, I think you should also have an attorney present, so I’ll have Mel there as well.”

“That’s a lot to ask of you…”

“The one thing that he’s never really understood about the situation with your brother, which is the same thing my father never did is that I can’t, and won’t, be intimidated. It’s what infuriated Christopher. My father had to have promised him something…”

"I think it was more that Lindsay did, Jus,” Daphne says as she enters the office without knocking. “Thorne is on line one for you both. He wants to firm up your plans about your pre-trial getaway.”

“We’ll get to him in a moment, but first, I need you to explain what you meant,” Brian tells her, and I concur.

“It’s just something that I’ve been thinking about since you all went to see her a few weeks back. There were too many nice and neat little packages lying around that would cover up Craig and Lindsay’s culpability in reference to the bashing and subsequent case. I thought back to that time, when all testimony was given except yours and Brian’s. You both were deliberately overlooked as viable witnesses, but not for the reasons you think. Sure Justin, you were incapacitated at the time, but Brian- as the only eyewitness- was not. But then again, he wasn’t the only eyewitness, either.”

“What do you mean?”

“Ever wonder how the ambulance from a hospital across town got to you within thirty minutes of you dialing 911?”

“Are you suggesting that a call was placed before the crime was even committed?” I gasp.

“I’m not suggesting it, I’m telling you it was. There was another eyewitness in the parking garage that night. Michael had an alibi in his trip to Portland, although he really had no intention of going. Claire was off gambling alongside Craig Taylor at the Wingate’s charity event. Melanie was at home with Gus, while Lindsay was supposed to be running to the supermarket. She didn’t. In fact, she used her credit card at the William Penn Hotel to check into the parking garage.”

“Wait a minute! That was the same night Lindsay said their car was stolen,” Brian says, getting up from his seat, and pacing by the windows.

“No, the car wasn’t stolen. However, it was towed back to their address three days after the bashing, at Pittsburgh P.D.'s expense.”

“How the fuck did you find all of this out?” Christian asks her.

“You know, Lindsay’s lovers are numerous… and quite talkative when they have an axe to grind. Justin and Christian, do one or both of you remember Tara Andrews?”

I try to think of why that name sounds so familiar, when it finally hits me. “Wasn’t she dating one of Chris’ cronies… Chaz, Charles, Chad or something like that?”

“Chase Johnson.”

“YES! That’s it!” Christian exclaims. “They were always at the house having all sorts of threesomes after practice, or some shit. Why are you bringing her up now?”

“Well, she and Chase are still together. In fact, they are married, although no one at the Department of Corrections knows that, except for a select few. They kept it secret because the non-fraternization clause in their contracts. She and her husband have also been having an affair with the same woman.”

“And this is important, why?” Brian asks, almost-impatiently. Except for the fact that it’s Daphne imparting the information, I think he would have exploded by now. But no one, especially Brian, wants to incur her wrath. I think he still remembers that punch she delivered back when I ran away to New York.

“It’s important because Tara and I are still drinking buddies from time-to-time. She was upset last night and called me to go out with her since it was her day off. Apparently, their latest conquest is now pregnant. Although she’s saying that the baby belongs to someone else, there’s all sorts of implications if this bit of news is leaked deliberately by the piece of trash.”

After a moment to absorb what Daph has said, I know exactly who and what she is talking about. “Fucking Lindsay!”

“What? What about her?” Brian asks, as I sit here laughing hysterically.

“Well now we know how the bitch ended up pregnant. Chase and Tara were well-known for their threesomes and orgies, even back in high school. Looks like Lindsay has been getting her needs met while she’s in the slammer.”

“Exactly! But there's more to it than that, which I will get to in a moment. The reason Tara is so upset is because she and Chase wanted kids, but instead of one of their bloodlines being born first, it’s Lindsay’s kid that will have that privilege. She’s also threatening to name Chase as the father if Tara can’t find some sort of dirt on you and your family that Lindsay can use, Justin. You must have really fucked her up good when you went to see her,” Daphne says.

“He did,” Brian confirms. “But what exactly does Lindsay plan to do with the information?”

“The only thing she can do,” I tell them. “She’s planning on passing the information along to the Stockwell and Russo defense teams. Tell Tara that she and Chase need to come out as married before the powers that be find out through Lindsay. At least that way, that way they’ll be able to spin the reason Lindsay is gestating for Chase to their advantage. If Lindsay has a chance to publicly accuse them of acting unethically, which they did, but that’s beside the point, they can kiss their respective careers in law enforcement goodbye. They also need to file for transfers to another facility immediately after coming clean about their marriage.”

“Why would you help them?” Christian asks.

“You know how things work in the WASP nest. Affairs are allowed if they are discreet, but once exposed all credibility is lost. Lindsay lives to destroy lives, and they played right into her hands. Did Tara say when their affair began?”

“That’s the thing in a moment thing I mentioned, Justin. They’ve been meeting up with Lindsay since you began living with Brian, pre-Ethan. At first, it was just casual. They would see each other at a party, on any given weekend or so…”

“Wait a minute!” Brian yells. “You mean that bitch has been using the money from the child support I gave her for Gus to go out and get fucked?!”

“I thought she was going to the required conferences to resume her teaching career full-time instead of just substituting?”

“Oh she was substituting, alright? She was trading her loose morals for valuable information,” Daphne says.

“Information?”

“Yes. Brian and Justin, exactly how many times did the two of you attend orgies once Justin was able to go out again?”

“Pre-Ethan, I would say at least once a week- usually on Sunday nights. Our regularly scheduled ‘date’ nights were always on Mondays unless Brian was out of town, or I had a project due. Then we would move it to Tuesday for that week. But when we attended the parties on Sundays, we weren’t in the areas where there were mixed crowds,” I answer her.

“Well, there was always one lone woman, seemingly wandering around…”

“Lindsay?” Brian asks in disbelief.

“You got it. That’s how Gardner always knew what you were up to during the weekends, especially on the Mondays when you would go into the office late.”

“So what you’re saying is that Lindsay was his spy?”

“In a manner of speaking, yes. Though it wasn’t solely you he wanted information on, but other people he wanted to do business with. He wanted to know all their dirty little secrets so that he would have some way to negotiate or identify with them. Anytime he was able to get something on you was an added bonus.”

“Do you think that’s how Gardner and Stockwell ended up at the loft that night after his appearance at the GLC?” I ask, because honestly it would make sense, since we stopped off at Woody’s before going home.

“That’s exactly how they knew when to barge in on us! Lindsay was there. It would have only taken a simple phone call to let them know when we left.”

“So what do we do now?”

“First Daphne- you, Mel, and Cynthia are to be in the meeting when Hobbs, Sr. comes to blackmail and berate young Christian here for working for the enemy while his cray-cray brother faces the criminal charges he should have faced from the beginning. Secondly, Justin and I have some pre-damage control to do, beginning with squashing a bald-headed bug once and for all. I think it’s time for Gardner Vance to really understand what he gets when he digs a ditch for us. That said, we can't postpone the interview any longer, regardless of business needs. If we have to, we'll do it live at home, as long as it gets done before the end of this week. Actually, that's not necessarily a bad idea, but even before that, I need to see one more person.”

“Who?” By Brian’s tone, I have an idea, but dread hearing the answer aloud.

“Michael.”

JENNIFER:

It’s funny, but when Brian asked me to in essence, befriend Joan Kinney, I never thought in a million years that I would actually end up wanting to be genuinely kind to her. I mean, here was a woman that if I was born of a different time, within a different set of circumstances, I could’ve been. It’s easy to say that I never would’ve taken the anger I felt at my life out on other people. Including my children, but one never knows what they would do in any given situation until they have to live it. Now that’s not to say that I forgive her for what she put Brian through… because I don’t, not at all, but I can see that she’s trying. And if Brian is willing to give her that chance, than who the hell do I think I am not to support that?

So here we are, once again, for what has become our weekly tea meeting, only this time it’s on Carnegie Mellon’s campus. Imagine my surprise when she told me a few weeks ago, just after our ‘Moms of Gay Sons 101 Tutorial’ that her lifelong dream had been to attend college and have a career in something she could call her own. Strangely, I understood that need within her, since after Craig, I felt it, too. But what really makes me smile is the admiration I feel for her willing to do this at this juncture. I had a hard time willing myself to sit in a classroom at just over forty years old, but here Joan is, nearer to sixty than I am, and willing to jump in with both feet in an arena filled with twenty-somethings. It’s there that I can see the drive and determination so ingrained on Brian’s own DNA; Joan just lost hers for a while.

“So have you decided what you’re going to major in yet?” I ask, as she sits perusing through the brochure.

“I thought about taking a few computer courses, a few cooking classes, and one on Gay Studies.”

“Gay Studies?”

“Yes. There is this class that teaches about Gay Studies and Cultural Awareness. I think it even talks about how it is integrated into just about everything we could think of.”

“That’s great, but why would you want to take such a course?” I’m genuinely curious. Personally, I would have thought Joan would rather have taken a Theology class before she attempted to take this one.

“Believe it or not, I’m interested in how gays and other cultures see the world.”

“Probably a little more closed-minded than other people…”

“That’s just it, Jennifer!” she says, excitedly. “I am- was- one of those people who only viewed the world in one way. The only difference was mine was done through the shades of moral versus immoral behavior. Having such concrete reasoning doesn’t allow for you to understand another’s point of view. As you, and all of my son’s family are teaching me, there has to be a way to make a difference in this world, but no one can do that by closing themselves off as I have done for so many years. Yes, I still believe in God, the Bible, and all its tenets, but I ultimately want to be able to love the way Jesus did. He didn’t care who you were or what your background was. I mean, good gravy, He even loved Saul, who was a murderer, but changed his life to become one of the greatest teachers in the New Testament. There’s an old adage that still rings true: you’ve gotta catch the fish before you can clean them.”

“And how do you propose to do that by taking this particular course?” I really want her to understand what she may be setting herself up for. It’s one thing to want to know about them, but another thing entirely to want to learn how to live among them. There is a big difference.

“Do you know how many people my age and older are substance abusers?”

“You know, I’ve never really thought about it, Joan. I would imagine that was something you and Father Tom talked about?”

She nods. “We did. Only a lot of them don’t actually realize that they are. Not only that, but they have lost their family, friends, but especially their children through some portion of their respective lifestyles that they didn’t agree with. In some cases, it is because they are homosexuals, in others, it’s because they married someone of a different race than they are; so many reasons! So if taking this course can help me in my quest to continue to repair my own relationship with my son, while building a bridge to help me understand others and what motivates them to live beneath their best life instead of living it to the fullest, I think I owe it to myself and them to do it.”

“Did I hear you correctly? You’re building a relationship with Brian?” comes the almost-screeching voice of the woman so far from my favorite persons list, she’s scraping the bowels of hell in my book.

“Oh hello, Debbie. It’s nice to see you.”

“You too, Joan. Although I would have thought you would be at Mass this time of day,” Debbie says pointedly.

Joan either doesn’t hear the edge to Debbie’s voice or is overlooking it intentionally. I’m hoping it’s the former because as it is, I’m aching for Daphne’s jar of vaseline where this particular woman is concerned. She better not do or say anything to make me take off my bracelet and earrings!

“I probably would have been except that a pipe burst beneath the sanctuary. Father Tom is there now, waiting for the plumbers to get there.”

“Well what are you doing here?”

“I’ve decided to fulfill a lifelong dream of mine and finally obtain my degree.”

“Is that why you are suddenly interested in repairing your relationship with Brian? So that he will fund your education?” And right there is where I had enough!    

“Pay no attention to the questions and ravings of a truly bitter woman, Joan. Considering that Brian has finally closed the Bank of Kinney to her and her odious offspring, there are probably a wealth of feelings about Brian’s generosity towards you, and none of them good,” I say before turning to the termagant that has the nerve to question Joan. “Hello, Debra. Other than being rather unpleasant, what are you doing here?”

“I’m registering for classes.”

“Oh? And just who is paying for your education?”

“My new employer, if you must know. But back to you, Joan…”

“No,” I interrupt. “Let’s stay on the subject of you, Debra. Is there any particular reason that you felt the need to eavesdrop on a private conversation?”

“I wasn’t eavesdropping! I was passing by and heard Brian’s name mentioned, that’s all.”

“And this caused you to stop, why? I think I can safely speak for both of my sons when I tell you that whatever, and whomever they allow into their lives, is NONE of your business.”

“But Jen…”

“Ms. Alwin or Mrs. Taylor will do fine, thank you, although I prefer the former over the latter. But back to the matter at hand; until such time as Brian or Justin choose to include you in their lives again, do NOT ask questions you have no right to know the answers to. For all I know, you’ll go running to Michael to figure out your next plan of action in betraying their trust. And if that happens, so help me God, Debra, I will end you in a way there will be no coming back from. Leave them AND Joan alone! The only people Joan is responsible to answer to is her God, and HER son!”

“I thought we were friends,” Deb says piteously, and part of me feels bad that we aren’t anymore. But the part of me that remembers the emotional carnage she caused by siding with Michael helps me to stand firm in the face of her obvious sadness.

“We were. But the moment you stood by silently goading your son to not only steal from mine, but from Brian- the two men who went out of their way to help your lazy manchild make something of himself- that’s where our friendship died. And you have no one to blame for that except yourself.”

“I’d like to say something, please,” Joan says, rising to her feet. “Debbie, I’d like to thank you for all the years you took care of Brian, while I was blindly drunk out of my mind. There is no excuse that I can offer for all those lost years, nor will I even try. I’d also like to thank you for the times you met me at church and brought me up to speed with the goings-on of my son’s life, even if your intentions were not always coming from a sincere place, but one of haughtiness and one-upmanship. I won’t judge you; that’s between you and God, so it’s not my place. But believe it or not, I was oft times relieved that Brian was somewhere still breathing, instead of dead as I feared many times when I didn’t see or hear from him.

"What I will tell you is that I’m clean and sober and have been for a little over two months. Some days are easier than others, but having the support of Brian and my newfound family makes all the struggles worthwhile. I hope someday that whatever the rift between you, and my son, and Jennifer’s, can be restored, but for now, I’m going to do what I must to keep the upward mobility going with Brian and Justin. All I can hope is that one day, he sees me as he once saw you, and continues to view Jennifer. Until then, I will work everyday to make sure that he knows he is important to me, and not because of the money he makes or spends, but just because he is Brian Aidan Kinney, a man who continues to rise through every adversity; one I can only marvel at and respect. I wish you well in your own endeavors.”

And with that, Joan tells me that she will wait for me by the line so she can get registered. I turn back to the woman standing in shock, disbelief and hurt. I wish that I could reach out and hold my friend, but in my mind and heart right now, she’s no longer there. “Do what you’ve come to do, Debra. Change your life for the better, and for once, think of yourself. That, in essence, is what Joan Kinney is finally doing.”

“She thought of herself all those years she spent drunk!”

“Perhaps, but it was never with the goal-centered clarity in which she’s thinking about and for herself now. You would do well to stop passing judgment on her, and start really examining your own life. Amazingly, that’s what got you in the situation you’re in right now.”

“What the hell do you mean by that, Ms. Alwin?!” She sneers, but I just brush off the intended insult. In light of everything else, it means nothing except that this contretemps is getting to her in a way she never expected by stopping at this table.

“That if you had spent more time looking at your own life, and that of Michael’s, perhaps you would have seen where you were going wrong with him long before he landed himself in jail. But no… not you, Debra. It was so much easier to look at what was wrong with everyone else than to turn that sanctimonious mirror back onto you and yours. Your double-standards continue to amaze me! I would love to continue this conversation with you, but you see Debra, I have a new friend to support and a career to tend to. What do you have?”

I leave her standing there to ponder the words I’ve said. Perhaps someday, something will get through that cement block mentality she passed down to her son, but I don’t hold out any hope. Debra Jane Novotny is even more stubborn than Joan Kinney in a lot of ways, and I just don’t have it in me to give remedial courses on how to be an effective mother to a grown man. In my opinion, Brian, Justin, Ted, Emmett, Ben, and Hunter are all doing just fine without the constant criticism of a woman whose strongly-worded advice extends to everyone else without the Novotny last name.

In the meantime, I join Joan in line, and surprise her by signing up for the Gay Studies and Cultural Awareness course. The shining of her eyes, and her genuine smile tells me what she must have been like before life got the better of her. I guess us more mature ladies can certainly learn a new trick or two. Which reminds me…

“Now, Joan, there is something else you need to know about being a mom with a gay son. The word ‘trick’ has many, MANY meanings and not all of them are appropriate by our standards…” I’m already hard-pressed (no pun intended) not to laugh by the inquisitive and mischievous look she’s giving me as she takes in the explanation. And yes, I can see exactly where Brian gets that faux-look of wide-eyed innocence from!