CHAPTER 59: LEARNING TO LIVE THE FICTION YOU WRITE… OR MORE ACCURATELY, THE ONE THAT’S WRITTEN FOR YOU

RULE #1: REMEMBER REALITY BITES

DEB:

I’m sitting here in the courtroom, and yet, it’s almost as if I’m having an out of body experience or something. I don’t know if it’s because of the laundry-list of charges against Michael, or if it’s because I’m finding out just how much of a deaf and dumb blind bat I have been about what my son has been doing, or that basically I have simply become a fool for him. All of those scenarios are equally stunning, and heartbreaking in the extreme. I can’t understand where I went so wrong! Did I not slap him upside the head enough, or did I not pay attention enough? Did I possibly ignore any mental health issues he may have been born with or that may have developed during his teen years into adulthood? Bipolar Disorder and Oppositional Defiant Disorder surely come to my mind when I think about Michael’s behavior, even now. I mean, the fact that he’s a nearly thirty-two year old man who can’t speak without whining has to mean something, right? I just feel like I have to find a reason for this. Not because it will get him out of the trouble he’s in- Lord knows, no one can get him out of this shit- but because maybe it can explain to me, once and for all, why the hell I have been so willfully blind when it comes to him!

I think back to his father… the REAL one, not the one I made up for him, trying to see if there were any of these malicious and vindictive traits within Danny that I overlooked. The answer is no. Danny was honest in both his words and deeds, even when it came to having sex with me. He told me up front that he just needed to be sure that he was gay. I suppose that happens to many gay boys and girls. Hell, I’m almost sure that’s why Justin slept with Daphne. But then again, he was regularly being fucked by Brian Kinney, so that might not have been the motive behind him and Daphne doing the deed. I don’t know for sure, and I’ve never asked him. From the looks of it, I’ll never even get the chance to ask him, either.

I can’t help but wonder if Michael was confused about his own sexuality and just settled for being gay and fixated on Brian because he felt it was expected due to my relationship with gay men in general. Get a fucking grip, Debbie! That’s just NOT possible, I inwardly scream at myself, and yet everything Michael has done reeks of both a desperate housewife and a scorned mistress instead of an unwanted gay man. Who wouldn’t be confused?! I’m on the brink of laughter because I remember Brian telling me once that Michael was a straight woman trapped in a gay man’s body. He said that if there was anyone on this planet meant to be in a heteronormative relationship, it was Michael. Now as I sit here, I wonder about the truth of Brian’s skewed wisdom when it comes to sex and sexuality.

I know that seems funny to think about at a moment like this, but really, if Brian was right, all this would somehow make sense to me. As it is, not much else does in reference to Michael’s case. I mean, come on! Working with Claire and then Craig was just plain fucking loco, but then you add Lindsay into the mix of it all and you have to wonder if somehow God got Lindsay and Michael’s internal wiring mixed up since Michael was so easily led by her and Claire’s influence. But I’m negating my whole feminist vibe here by thinking that men must be smarter than women, when history and the present circumstances of my idiot son are proving otherwise.

If I really think about it, Lindsay is, and always has been about acquisition. To her mind, she’s always been a conqueror and has used her femininity as a club to beat people over the head with until she gained her way. She constantly used censure and criticism, only spilling tears when on the verge of losing whatever war she was waging. Whereas Michael chronically acts like a woman scorned; whining, bitching, and complaining until people either do what he wants, or leave him by the wayside for good and then his revenge begins. It’s what’s been happening for years, but now it’s finally caught up to him because he picked the two people most likely and willing to fight back. He should have known better than to fuck Justin over in his continuous quest for Brian. Why hadn’t he learned that even if Brian never said so, Justin was important to him? If nothing else drove that point home, Brian showing up to Justin’s prom, and then later when Brian delivered that punch to Michael’s eye, should have done it. How desperate and stupid can one man be?!

Oh, I know that my thoughts are all over the place, but it’s the only way I have left to puzzle all of this out and weed through all the bullshit to see the reality of what went wrong. I still have to wonder if I was neglectful, or just less than vigilant the way I wouldn’t like to believe I was while Michael was growing up. It’s just like I said: Nothing is making sense, and sadly, that extends to my own motives within this whole debacle. Granted, my sole reason for participating in Michael’s machinations was so that I wouldn’t be left alone. It’s why I was so damn angry and hurt when Vic got involved with Rodney. He’d been my sidekick for as long as I could remember, and once Michael was born, my son fulfilled that role. But now, it looks like I’m going to be by myself anyway, simply because I cannot abandon Michael; simply because I can’t seem to  make my son accept responsibility at long last for his wrongdoings. I can’t pick their side because it would be like admitting that I failed as a parent.

The funny thing, as I look back on all the events leading up to this moment, is that I really don’t think they are asking me to do that. I can’t imagine that they- as the group of men I’ve tried to nurture- would ask me to do something that is so against the person I believe myself to be; to change who I am… Well that’s something Brian would never do, and when I examine each of their characters more closely, I have to admit that neither would the rest of them. Michael would, and has numerous times in a variety of ways, including the constant criticism when I became too ‘friendly’ in his eyes with the patrons at the diner who made it possible for me to metaphorically diaper his grown ass. But not Brian, Emmett, Ted, and Justin. I may not be sure of a lot of things, but I’m certain of that! For them it doesn’t seem that they are asking me to choose them while negating Michael’s existence, but to stand for what’s right where he is concerned, for once. It’s a shame when boys that I’ve watched grow into men have to tell me- Michael’s mother- that I have to let him finally be one. It’s a shame that this is the way I have to do it, by watching the son I birthed be carted off to jail again, and not being able to do anything to stop it. I have to let Michael go, but how in the name of God do I do that?

RULE #2: DON’T BELIEVE THE HYPE

GARDNER:

I’ve spoken to just about every attorney I could think of to see if there was some loophole to getting my company back. There isn’t any! I’ve been told that if I even try, paying Brian back would bankrupt me anyway and force me to close the doors. Plus there is the astronomical amounts that I’ve taken out of the business in order to financially support my life as I’ve always known it. So technically, I would end up in a worse position than I am right now.

“Have you found anything out? Any idea who funded Brian’s return to the top?” I ask the young man sitting next to me. I sent him there to get hired so he would be able to gather information for me to get my company back.

“No,” Eric tells me. “They installed a new program that prevents me from getting into the financial records of the company. In fact, they have split the agency into three sections, and renamed it.” He winced as he told me that last part.

“Renamed?” How dare they erase me?!

“Yes. It’s now officially called Kinnetik. There is Kinnetik Boutique, Kinnetik Unique, and Kinnetik Elite.”

“So where are you?”

He drops his eyes as he answers me. “I’m down in Boutique.”

“WHAT?! How is that possible? I thought the goal was to get you in and have you working with Taylor at the top so you can sabotage them directly.”

“Troy and I weren’t able to get in there, as we all planned we would be.”

“I thought Troy said that Brian would change his position once he knew who he was.”

“He lied.”

The man in question comes breezing confidently through the door of the cafe we’re meeting in. His confident stride reminds me of the way Kinney always commanded every eye in the room to look at him. It’s both nerve wracking and annoying, but also enviable. Men like him are meant to be noticed, even when they would rather fly under the radar. It’s what always kept the public intrigued about Brian Kinney.

“Good afternoon, gentlemen. Have you both ordered yet?” he asks as he takes his seat.

“No. You’re late,” I tell him, narrowing my eyes. There is no mistaking the whiff of sex wafting from him.

“Sorry,” he says in a tone that is anything but apologetic. “I was in a meeting that couldn’t be detained.”

“Oh really? With who?” Eric asks. He too is scrunching up his nose from the scent of mints and cum.

“With Brian.”

Eric laughs. “Now I know you’re lying!”

Troy frowns at the laughing young man. “How would you know?”

“Because Brian and Justin are meeting with Leo Brown this morning. I double checked before I left to come here.”

“And speaking of lying, why did you tell me that you were working directly with Kinney when you aren’t?” I ask.

“I would have been, except for that little blond bastard he’s fucking. He’s really not anything but a glorified office whore.”

“That little blond bastard as you’ve called him is co-owner of Kinnetik. Not only that, but I happen to know that Justin is beyond qualified for the position he holds within the company. Can you say the same?” Eric interjects, and I have to wonder what he really knows about the young blond.

“I have to agree with Eric, Troy. I was there the day they landed Remson Pharmaceuticals, although I had to meet with Brian and his attorney within my office…”

“Don’t you mean you former office, Gardner?” Troy gloats. “Besides, why would you really think that means anything? I mean, by your words, Brian Kinney is the advertising genius.”

“He is, but he’s used Justin on more than a few accounts… a few multi-million dollar accounts that couldn’t be won otherwise. So I believe you are making a mistake to underestimate the importance of Justin Taylor in reference to Kinnetik.”

“So basically what you’re saying is that in order to discredit him, I’ll have to find an outside source?” Troy asks me, scratching his chin.

“Do you have one?” Eric asks.

Troy shrugs. “Technically, you could be seen as one, since he fucked you while he was with Brian. It shows his lack of morals.”

“But then the same can be said about Brian, and just about everyone one in this Burg and beyond,” Eric sneers back. “The fact that he hired you doesn’t make you special; you just became one of the many. And even that ONLY happened because he was pining for Justin.”

As they argue, and trade barbs back and forth, I shake my head. “Boys, concentrate! We are getting off track here. Both of you got fucked and fucked over by Brian and Justin. That’s the core issue here, so let’s focus on that fact and work to get my company back within my sole control. Now, do either of you have any further ideas on how to do that?”

Troy smirks. “Well I think there are a couple of people who would be willing to help, but it’s going to require a way to see them.”

“Who are they, and who do I have to call?”

“Their names are Michael Novotny and Lindsay Peterson…”

“Brian’s best friend and the mother of his son? Man, are you crazy?!”

“Not really since they are both in jail because of Justin Taylor. I have it on good authority that they both hold him solely responsible for their failed attempts to become Mrs. Brian Kinney.”

‘Not that it matters much, but word around the office is that Brian and Justin have signed Domestic Partnership papers, so technically their names are Taylor-Kinney now,” Eric interjects.

“So that dashes your hopes for Justin to get involved with you again, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, but that wasn’t the sole reason that I have been willing to help you, Gardner.”

“Then what is?”

“I want to make him pay.”

“For what? Ditching you?” Troy sneers.

“No, but because he’s ruined me for other men.”

“And how is it his fault that you’re now frigid?” he asks in disgust.

“It’s not that I’m frigid, asshole. It’s that Justin used me, and then dumped me even after he was so tender and gentle for my first time. Can you say the same about Brian while he was using you to take the place of Justin in his bed for a few hours?”

The look on Troy’s face spoke volumes as to the truth of Eric’s words. I suspect he’s suffering from the same type of jealous affliction that Eric is, but unlike the younger man, he’ll never admit to it. I have to end this portion of the conversation before they get off track again. “So back to Novotny and Peterson… what’s your plan?”

Troy straightens up. “Well, the way I see it is that they should be dying for a bit of revenge right now. It would probably also stand to reason that they would be willing to tell us the entire history as they know it of Brian and Justin Taylor-Kinney. Besides, I need to know if there is any truth to a little piece of innuendo that I’ve heard recently involving Justin’s past.”

“And that is?”

“That his last appearance at a certain club owner’s party resulted in being a bit more than just decoration.”

“You don’t mean…?” I gasp.

“Exactly! I recall an episode he and Novotny did of Rage, where this particular scenario played out in vivid detail. I just need to check with Novotny about how much was fact, versus the idea that it was fiction. I know that the very first edition of the comic was based on Justin’s real life bashing at the hands of Christopher Hobbs. I have to wonder how many other episodes of Justin’s life have been seen in print.”

“And what do you think exposing those episodes will do?”

“Well, the three of us ARE in advertising, which means we should be able to spin the details the way we want to. Don't you think?”

I smile for the first time today while nodding. “I’ll call the DA to see if he’ll allow us to visit Novotny…”

“Why not Peterson, too?”

“I could ask, but I don’t think you could pay her price.”

“Why? What do you think she would want?” Eric asks.

I shake my head. “Justin’s life in every way that matters, short of death. Somehow, she’d convinced herself that the only reason that Brian is with Justin is because he was everything she was- an artist, a WASP- and that Brian only wants Justin because she didn’t have the right equipment for her to keep him. The sad thing is that if there’s anyone who’s the original here, it’s Justin. Lindsay has always spent her life trying to be something and someone else. First a copy of her mother and sister by trying to entrap the men around her, including Brian. And now it's Justin, who actually has everything she’s ever wanted at his beck, call, and balls. The only way she will help you is if you buy into her delusions of grandeur about herself. Trust me, you don’t want to go down that road.”

“How do you know so much about her?” Eric asks.

“Outside of knowing Martin Ryder for many years, I also know quite a bit about the Petersons’ rise to the country club set. She’s always been the greedy, loose canon among them.”

“So we’re all agreed go after Justin?” Eric asks, nodding.

“Between Brian and Justin, Justin seems to be the weaker of the two. Whereas Brian has lived his life completely in the open, Justin and his family may have secrets that have yet to be discovered,” I tell them.

“And according to that whiny ass musician, keeping secrets was the core of Brian and Justin’s problems,” Troy informs us, but I’m not sure what he means.

As far as I know, Brian and Justin were involved before I even acquired Ryder Advertising Agency. If anything I would have thought that Brian would have hidden his much younger boyfriend, but from all accounts, not only was Brian partying with Justin, but they were also tricking together. It’s not considered cheating if the other person knows about it, right?

“What are you talking about, Troy? Even I knew that Justin was involved with Brian, although he never said the man’s name. They had an open relationship,” Eric says with an annoyed tone. I don’t exactly know the full breadth of his story, only that he wanted more from Justin than what he was willing to give. But that happens with a lot of virgins after their first time, so nothing new there.

“Ethan said that he was the secret Justin kept from Brian, resulting in their breakup. He regaled me with the bullshit tale of love lost, then found, then stolen forever by Brian Kinney as I sat with him and Avery after Justin humiliated him earlier that day. If you ask me, Justin was a fool to get involved with Ethan Gold in the first place. The man is a schmuck! But then again if he didn’t, i might never have met Brian Kinney,” Troy gloats. “So Gardner, the only problem with trying to discredit Justin Taylor-Kinney is that we might be fucking with one of the most powerful families within high society. Are we sure we want to do that?” Troy asks.

“What do you mean?” I ask. The truth is that whereas I could probably write a book on Brian’s origins since I had him investigated before I threatened his job when I first took over Ryder, I never really thought to gather much intel on Justin. Truthfully, looking back on it now, I probably should have since it would have been even more leverage to hold over Kinney’s head. Troy’s next words confirm that thought for me.

“Only that Jennifer Taylor is an Alwin by birth. Justin might not be so easy to bring down because of his bloodlines.”

“How do you know all of this?” Eric asks, which I really want to know, too.

When I hired Troy, I only cared that he was an attractive hustler with a newly-acquired business degree. It should have been as simple as child’s play to entrap Kinney into doing anything I wanted him to do by using the young blond. Although I knew of Justin, I still didn’t think he was truly enough to hold Brian’s attention, even though what man wouldn’t want a taste of forbidden fruit? And Brian had more than just a taste where Justin was concerned. Once again, I’m finding out just how neglectful I had been during my investigation of Brian Kinney.

“As quiet as it’s been kept, I was born into that vaunted world. My father was the Headmaster of St. James Academy.”

“So that must mean you knew Justin before he even met Brian Kinney?” Eric asks.

“Yeah, I knew him, but I didn’t know that he was THE ‘Justin’ that Brian was pining for until they took over the company. It just makes this whole situation that much more unpalatable. If I could just find a way to bring him down, then perhaps my father’s life wouldn’t be in the crapper such as it is now that he’s lost his job because of Justin Taylor.”

“I would have thought his very expensive gambling addiction and abuse of other drugs, and power would have caused that to happen. But there was another incident in which your father knew about and as Headmaster, did nothing to rectify it,” Eric says, wryly.

“True, and yet if it had not been for Justin Taylor, the school officials may never have found out. The guy’s a damn menace, who causes his own troubles by playing fast and loose whenever he sees fit, then cries victim when someone takes umbrage to it!”

“But that’s the thing, correct? He hasn’t acted as he ought to have done if that episode in Rage has any truth to it, right?” I ask eagerly, finally seeing where Troy is going with this plan of his. To know the sordid past of one of the key members of Kinnetik would make those high-profile clients they’ve acquired balk, especially since men like Leo Brown are very publicly conservative.

Troy smiles then. “Right! And having him embroiled in more scandal than he already is because of Novotny, Peterson, and his own father, should keep both Brian and Justin busy enough that they will be less than vigilant while taking care of their clients’ needs.”

The three of us nod, and smile now that we are finally all on the same page.

RULE #3: DON’T FORGET TO CLEAN THE CRAP YOU SWEPT UNDER THE RUG

TWO TABLES OVER IN THE CAFE

EMMETT:

“So Lover, what do you think?” I ask Brandon, who is fumbling with his phone.

It’s hard to believe that we are still going strong when both of us would have been bored senseless with any other sexual conquests by now. It’s been two months, but the truth is I find him intriguing and intelligent. He’s also hilarious, even if he has to be serious most of the time. It’s something that I’ve never experienced with any other man before except Brian, Justin, Ben, and Ted, and they are my best friends. So no fucking around with them.

“I think that to be forewarned is to be forearmed.”

“So you’re going to tell them?”

“I’m going to do them one better. I’ve been taping the entire meeting from the time Vance arrived with that little brown haired boy.”

“Did you know he was going to be here?” I ask, because as far as I know, Brandon and I just made plans yesterday to meet up.

“I did, which is why I chose this place. But I also wanted to spend time with you since you make such a delightful companion.”

“Delightful, huh?” I can’t help but smile at that, since I feel the same way about him.

“Absolutely. I mean, who else can I share this with? Not only that, but you have a unique perspective on the true motives of people. I guess it’s all that Southern Charm and wisdom you have. I always enjoy your urban legends with a southern twist.” He laughs, and I can’t help but snicker.

“They are always a bit gothic, aren’t they? But they are no less true.”

“I figured,” he says as he begins typing in Justin’s email address at Kinnetik. “Do you think they are going back to the office today?”

“I don’t know. I know they want to get to California as soon as possible. They need a break from all of this, but more than that, I think they need to see what the hell Michael was really thinking when he bought that house in Palm Springs.”

“I think that would be obvious…”

“No, more like ominous. Anytime Michael Novotny makes plans and actually follows through with them, that’s when you start worrying your brains through your ass, Honey.”

He laughs. “Where did you come up with that one?”

“I don’t know. I guess it’s a gift,” I snicker back before sobering. “But seriously, I would hate to think of the lengths to which Michael would have gone to make sure that his plans for Brian would have panned out the way he wanted them to.”

“I guess we won’t have those answers any time soon.”

“No. Sadly, I’m thinking that the house may actually hold the answers, since it’s the only place that Michael would have been able to hide anything because it was a secret from all of us.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that whatever they found in the shop, the apartment, and at Deb’s was easy to find compared to what could still be hidden.”

“Are you talking about some kind of secret compartment, or something?”

“Maybe. But it does bring up the question of what Michael would have done if Brian refused to go with him to California willingly. Whining Brian into submission wouldn’t have been an option this time.”

“Think we should get an interstate search warrant?”

“I don’t know. But what if there is something that can’t be entered as evidence because of the possibility that the crime scene could be considered tainted?”

“Hmm, you make a good point, Em. Let me talk to Carl and DA Linton about it, and I’ll let you know.”

Hunter comes over to the table, no doubt hearing the last part of Brandon’s statement. “Hey guys. I shouldn’t have heard that last part, but I think you should do that soon, Brandon. I just came from Michael’s indictment hearing. His court-appointed attorney tried to move to have the embezzlement charges dismissed since Justin has possession of the store and its contents already. What do you want to bet that the guy doesn’t know about the house in Palm Springs?”

“Shouldn’t that have been included?” Brandon asks, as both Hunter and I shake our heads.

“No. Originally, Michael had Deb put the house in her name. She’d never seen it, nor does she know what’s in it. But it’s possible that Hunter has a good point about the contents of the house. I mean, Michael had things hidden in Lance’s house that belonged to Brian. No telling what else we could be missing. After all, we're dealing with an asshole who can't climb out of his own fantasy, or those written within the pages of a comic. I can't even begin to fathom what fuckery floats around in his mind.”

“Also, you should warn your boss about the Toon Squad over there. I know that Gardner is planning to ask Linton if he could see Idiot Man,” Hunter tells Brandon.

“That part of the conversation is what I still couldn’t figure out while we were listening in. Any idea what it was that Troy guy was alluding to, Emmett?”

I think back to that part of their planning session. Trying to relate it to the pre-released issues of Rage that Justin let me read before they hit the stands. “The only thing I can think about would be the Sap’s party, but nothing really happened there. I mean, Sap tried to put Justin in a sling after slipping him a roofie in his drink, and Justin did a line to loosen up since he was incredibly uncomfortable…”

“Wait a minute! You were there?” Hunter asks.

“I was, but then I went into another room. By the time I resurfaced, Justin was gone, and Sap was yelling about his bleeding mouth. I didn’t get the full story of what happened, only that there was talk about a skittish filly kicking his teeth in. All I could think to myself in that moment was YAY! Someone finally kicked his scuzzy ass in the teeth. You think…”

Hunter smiles. “That’s absolutely what I think. But I wonder how Michael would know about it."

"I don’t think it’s something that Justin even told Brian about, and I never even mentioned that I was there to him,” I respond back, wondering when and how, or even IF I should broach the subject with Baby. "Like the bashing, he just may not want to talk about it. In a lot of ways, that why he was willing to use the bashing as a storyline in the comic. I suspect, it might have been the same deal regarding the Sap's shindig."

“Well, he’d better tell Brian SOON, before he hears about it in the wrongest way possible,” Brandon warns. “In the meantime, I’ll head off any visits to Novotny. His letters are already being screened, and he’s being watched constantly.”

“Video?” Hunter asked with a raised brow.

Brandon smiles. “No. Up close and personal.”

Well now! I can’t wait to hear about this one! I giggle aloud just thinking about what and who they’ve gotten to deal with Michael. Whomever it is deserves a fucking raise! But then again, with Baby’s plan of revenge in mind, Michael’s watchdog will undoubtedly be too busy laughing to be too bothered by his cellmate. Now Michael on the other hand… It’s taking everything in me not to jump and clap my hands like a fucking seal just thinking about it. Oooh, I can’t wait!

“Come on, boys! I need help packing for my trip to Palm Springs!” I tell them excitedly, practically running out of the cafe. And their laughter is not far behind.