CHAPTER 70: WHINING, COOS, YELLING, SQUEAKS AND THE SCIENCE OF SCCCCRRRREEEEEEEECHology!!!

DEB:

I watched the entire interview. Each time they referred to me, it looked as if it pained them to do so. They made it sound like I did NOTHING for them! I mean, didn’t opening my home as a safe space count? Didn’t the meals I’ve fed them over the years say anything about how much I cared for them? Each time they referred to me, it was in some way related to Michael. I don’t deserve that! And then for Brian to refer to Vic as his true dad… that shit hurt. I mean what about me being his mother when Joan couldn’t climb out of a bottle long enough to see that Brian at least had a proper meal? I think the worst feeling of all was to see them sitting on the couch- albeit a little distance away from each other- smiling and clearly establishing a relationship, while I’ve been all but forgotten.

“What’s going through your mind right now, Deb?” Stephen asks me, while I sit here silently fuming. Alex still hasn’t returned from the jail yet, having been called away on some emergency. I still can’t believe he couldn’t tell me what it was about.

“Just that I’m being excluded from everything, and I don’t like it!” I rant back.

“And you can’t understand why that is, right?” he asks in a tone I’m coming to hate. It’s calm, and probing, but unassuming instead of demanding.

“Yes, I do. They make it sound as if I’ve done nothing for them.”

“You may have done it for them, but it was never about them,” Rodney says, coming back into the room.

“How can you say that?!”

“Look at you now,” he answers back, and I hate how reasonable he sounds, too. Why the fuck isn’t anyone yelling back at me when I need a fight?! “Right now, you’re wondering why they didn’t give you credit for the things you supposedly did.”

“I am not,” I lie, but Rodney just shakes his head.

“Yes, you are. This isn’t just about being excluded from their lives as they are becoming, now that your son and his merry band of idiots aren’t involved. It’s about your need to be right, your need to be needed, your need to be worshipped and thanked for a hot meal or a warm bed when their situations were less than ideal. It’s about your need to be seen as a hero, and yet you wonder where Michael gets his superhero complex from?”

“That’s not fair, Rodney, and you know it! I’ve never…”

“Thrown what you did for someone in need into their faces? Felt entitled to be included, even if a situation was none of your business? Never thought that if people just listened to you, their situations would be a whole lot better? Need I remind you of what happened when you told Brian that he should tell Jack about being a gay man? I mean, why did you feel Brian just had to divulge that information about himself to the man who treated him as if he hated him? What did you have to gain by that?”

“I just thought it was the right thing for him to do. I thought it would give them some common ground and a way to make peace with each other. That’s all!”

“No. It was a way for Brian to see how much more accepted he was by you rather than his own parents. If I’m not mistaken, Michael was dating David and acting like you weren’t good enough for him anymore…”

“No, Michael wasn’t! And you don’t know what you’re talking about since you weren’t around back then!”

“Yes, I do because Vic told me how you always did something similar to what you tried with Brian and Justin to him! Always reminding him, and OTHERS, that you took care of him when he was barely able to make decisions for himself, how you had to wipe him and bathe him, and a host of other things. What right did you have to expose his personal business like that? I’ll tell you; you didn’t! And now here you are fuming because, at long last, you’re being exposed for the emotional abuse you’ve inflicted. You’re going to have to get over it because it’s not going to change. Congratulations. You’ve finally succeeded in burning all of your bridges. You wanna take your bow now? Is that the type of applause you’ve been longing all these many years to hear? No. Well, that’s tough titty because it’s the sound of you finally receiving what you’re really due, which is nothing and silence. So now you have to figure out how to go on and invent a life.”

“You think you have me all figured out? Well, you don’t, Rodney!”

Instead of arguing back, he laughs. “Oh yes I do, Debbie. And I have for a long time, whether you want to admit it or not. I’ve been around longer than both you and Vic, and my life was vastly different from yours. If I’m honest, it was a lot more like Brian’s than Justin’s, even if the environment was similar. Therefore, I’ve had dealings with many more cutthroat people than you could possibly imagine, which is why your head games don’t work with me. They never have, and they never will. So you can take your denials and shove them into whatever corner of your narrow mind is currently available. The facts won’t change, no matter how much you want them to.”

I look at Stephen, waiting for him to dispute what Rodney had the audacity to say to me. After a few minutes of finding no support from him, I realize that I need to leave the house for a little while to think. Grabbing my purse and phone, I do just that. Rodney owes me an apology, and until he gives it to me, it’s best that I keep my distance before I slap him. But unlike the others, whom I’ve employed that method with over the years, something within me tells me that he might actually hit back. All I know right now is that I’m through giving people the power to hurt me, and it needs to be addressed right the fuck now!

CLAIRE

Well, at least Brian acknowledged that I was in that house of horrors, too. I mean, no, I didn’t have to go through what he did, but I was a witness to it. For that reason alone, and the fact that he left me there when he got his scholarship and moved out, I feel he owes me something. His should NOT have been a life that I wasn’t invited into! Even after all I did to try and stop him from escaping the life Daddy had planned for him, he still got out and left me behind to do what was expected of me. It’s NOT fair! He could’ve paid for my education, but by then I had John and Senior to deal with at the time. Still, he should have offered though, the way he did for that little blond fucktoy. Justin Taylor could have and should have taken his ass to where his father wanted him, just like I had to go and do what I was told to when I married that fucking idiot!

What makes him any better than the rest of us? I mean, sure, he has money… well had, since Craig was all too happy to gift me with it for my services. But no, that’s not exactly true either, since I heard that Craig was ordered to pay back all of the money he siphoned off of Justin and Molly’s trust funds. Which means that the nest egg I had been storing up for myself is officially gone and on its way back to its rightful owners. I swear that little blond piece of shit and his frigid bitch of a mother just keep on winning, just like that asshole, Brian! Why?! Justin already had my brother and his money; why couldn’t he just be happy with that? But no! He just had to have it all so now he has MY money, too! And when I think of how many times and different ways I had to earn that money…

I gasp, remembering the things I’d allowed Craig and his cronies to do to me over the years; the things I allowed fucking Lindsay Peterson to do to me. Granted, I enjoyed some of the things she did to convince me to provide her with information, but it still doesn’t mean I liked that it was her doing them and not Craig. I mean, why couldn’t Craig have been the one to introduce me to my g-spot, instead of Lindsay? I ended up fucking more aggressively, and with more men that I ever planned to at Craig’s behest, secretly trying to find the one who had the talent to make me feel like she did so I could erase the feeling of her tongue and touch. It’s just not fair!

Well, now I know what I have to do in order to get even with all of them. No way am I going to prison, so I will ask to cut a deal. In exchange for my testimony, I will demand that I am released. As far as I can see, it’s the only way any of the charges they have against Michael, Lindsay, and Craig will stick. I have to get out of here! As it is, my cellmate, Betty Badass- or whatever the fuck her name is- is intent on making my already fucked up life a living hell.

There used to be a time I could depend on Mother to raise hell so much that my release was assured, but not anymore! No, she’s got her head stuck so far up Brian’s ass, I can’t even tell where he begins and she ends now. And what’s fucking worse is that according to that cursed interview, she’s made friends- made family- with the enemy. It’s just not right! But I’ll make sure she remembers her place once I’m out of here, and I know just how to do that.

No matter how drunk she was, she always cared about what happened to Junior and Peter. I can’t begin to tell how many times she asked after their welfare while lamenting my existence. So, since she cares for her grandsons so fucking much, she’ll do what I say if she wants even one second with them. If there was one thing I always excelled at, it was emotional blackmail. I mean, after all, I learned from the best: Mother, Daddy, and of course, Michael Novotny.

Playing helpless was the only thing he was ever good at, and it’s time for me to do the same thing to achieve my own goals.

So, forcing the tears to my eyes, and a lump to my throat, I call out, “Guard, I’d like to speak with the District Attorney immediately. I have information that they will find useful.”

I smile to myself as she nods, and moves over to the wall phone to make it happen. All of them- every last one- will regret that they ever tried to double cross me, especially those already in prison. And when I’m finally released, it will be my mother, my brother, and most certainly, his lover’s, turn. He deserves to feel my wrath and pain most of all. Because of Justin Taylor, everything- including my freedom- has been taken away from me, and I’m fucking done being his victim!

CRAIG

So it’s all out in the open now, or at least most of it. All of the things that can, and have already been proven, are out there for public consumption. I have to hand it to Justin though. He comported himself well on camera, but then I should have known he would. My son has always been an overachiever and has never been shy about anything he’s done.

Seeing him sitting next to the man I’ve hated since I first laid eyes on him, looking so relaxed, so poised and self-assured, made my blood boil! And yet, I am proud of him. He’s doing exactly what I tried to instill in him all these years. He’s proudly standing up for himself, and others no matter the costs. Out of all the lessons I taught him, why is that the one which stuck the most, especially since it’s me who’s going to be punished for it? I would say that it’s mostly Jennifer’s influence... and I would be right.

In court, she kept proving that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and somehow that’s rubbed off on our children. Molly still refuses to see me, and Justin… Well, he wants nothing more than to forget that I’m still his father. The fact that he referred to me as nothing more than a mere sperm donor and his nemesis, was very telling of the contempt he’s felt for me, even before he came out. I couldn’t buy his affection then, and I certainly can’t earn it now.

So once again, I’m coming out the loser in everything.

“Taylor, you have a visitor,” the guard interrupts my thoughts.

“This late? I thought visiting hours were over,” I reply, wishing nothing more than to get back to my maudlin thoughts.

“Yes, so let’s go.”

I sigh deeply, resigning myself to the fact that my choices of autonomy are officially over. I can’t help but wonder who it is since anyone that I would think had anything left to say to me was just at the million dollar mansion my son and his- gulp- lover now occupy. It couldn’t be Lindsay since she’s also here on the women’s side of the prison, and Novotny… Well, he’s housed at the other facility across town, which I’m thankful for. I’m sure if he wasn’t, I would be hearing his whining screech by now!

I realize now that if my crimes weren’t also federally linked, I would be there as well. As I’m being led into the interview room, I get a look at the visitor, and I want nothing more than to turn around and leave. But the damned guard is blocking my exit! I grit out towards my unwanted guest, “Now what the fuck do you want?” 

He smiles, and I just want to punch Charles in the face, which is impossible with these fucking cuffs on. “To gloat first, and then to talk. I take it you’ve caught the interview with the Taylor-Kinneys, Craig? Was it informative?” Alwin takes the seat directly across from me, as the guard locks my cuffs onto the tabletop.

“What do you think?” I sneer in answer.

“I would say yes, especially since Justin is so resourceful and managed to cover himself well. But the reason I’m here is to advise you of a couple of things.”

“And they are?”

“That Justin turned State’s evidence over against Gary Sapperstein.”

“And?”

“Oh, come now, Craig. Now is not the time to play coy, since we both know Justin has put the implication out there that you were involved. You may as well come clean.”

I eyed him skeptically, remembering the bullshit Jennifer pulled when she and Justin last came to visit. “What’s in it for me if I do?”

“A clear conscience?”

I laugh bitterly. “According to your sister and my former son, I don’t have a one. Try something else.”

“Well, I’m all out of ideas, except that it might get you time off of your sentence if you follow Justin’s example, and own up to your part in all of it. It’s already been established that you paid for the video, since you were the only one that could. Novotny, and that vicious bitch, Peterson, certainly weren’t rolling in the dough to be able to afford it. And although you weren’t either, you had access to Justin’s college fund which you used at will. So now you have to decide whether you’re willing to take the fall for the entire episode, or just the part you played. Whose idea was it to enlist the help of Sapperstein?”

I think back to that whole setup, remembering the conversations the three of us had. Although Lindsay was lamenting about who else they could use, since enlisting Hobbs’ help again was out of the question because she technically had no reason to talk to him about Justin anymore, Novotny didn’t seem troubled in the least. He talked about some stupid violinist that he and Lindsay were pressuring- or more accurately, coercing- into getting Justin away from Kinney. But there was something… more. “It was Novotny,” I answer Charles.

“Can you prove it?”

“Yes, but I want some assurances first.”

He rolls his eyes at me, before answering. “I can’t and won’t promise anything, Craig. In truth, you’re all out of bargaining chips here, but what do you want?”

“For the D.A. to talk to the Federal Prosecutor on my behalf, asking for leniency in the cases regarding Stockwell, the Hobbs Family, and Judge Russo.”

“That’s a lot of big fish you’re trying to fry, Craig.”

“I know, but well... Charles, I know that I was wrong to do what I did to Justin, but surely you can understand why?”

He explodes at me. “Are you fucking serious, or just that delusional that you think your reasons for treating your son like shit were justified?! There was no excuse, Craig. NONE! No matter what Justin is, was, or will be, there was no reason to treat him as you have; no reason to try to kill him simply because he wasn’t all you thought your son should be! How can you even fix your lips to intimate that there is?!”

“I was desperate! Can’t you see that?”

“For what? A straight son?”

“No… I mean, yes!”

“Well, which is it? No or yes?”

“I… I…”

“Are afraid to admit that you and Justin share more in common than you ever thought, huh Craig?” He chuckles, and I freeze in my seat. “Yes, I know all about it, Craig. You and Samuel Hobbs weren’t as discreet as you might have wished you were. I know about what happened to young Christian at both of your hands. And I know it wasn’t the first time that you shared... toys. My guess is that Justin also knew, and so you felt you had to keep him quiet by any means necessary. Him coming out was just the tool you needed to get rid of your son, rather than owning up to your own proclivities. So that leads me to the question of where Brian Taylor-Kinney fits into all of this. Why the jealousy? Was it because he had Lindsay, or was it because she had him?”

I dodge the question that I can’t answer, and bring it back to the Novotny situation. “In my former home with Lori, I had another laptop within the safe. It contains a different set of codes. The email address is also different. On that device is where you will find all the information about the deal with Sapperstein, and then later Gardner Vance, regarding Kinney.”

Charles nods, then asks the guard for a pen and paper. Wordlessly handing it to me, I write down the codes, including that of the safe, and Lori’s phone number. Defeated, I conclude our meeting by asking him to get me the best deal he can. “Again, I’m not making any promises, Craig. You tried to fuck over four people who mean the most to me- one of whom doesn’t even know of or realize our connection.”

“Jennifer, Molly, and Justin I know about, but who’s the fourth?”

“Brian Taylor-Kinney.”

LINDSAY

My mouth tastes like old gym socks from the anesthesia I’ve been out from under for a few hours now.  Unfortunately, I came to just at the start of that wretched television interview with Brian and Justin. I nearly vomited seeing them hanging all over each other, and wanted to scream at hearing them fawning about all of their accomplishments- both individually and collectively- to date. The fact that my parents were there supporting the two of them, along with everyone else, was a major slap in the face! I repeatedly asked for the tv to be turned off, not wanting to hear any of it, but was either told ‘no’ or ignored completely. This is yet another thing to be added to my long list of complaints once the judge orders the bitchy warden to give me back my journal!

“Good, so you’re awake,” Doctor Danvers says loudly, while looking down at my chart. Warden Montgomery is standing with him, looking immensely pleased for some reason that I can’t fathom. I mean, I am lying here within the infirmary so…

“I’m feeling a bit rough, thanks for asking,” I sneer.

“I didn’t ask,” he tells me, smiling smugly. “Now that we are certain that there isn’t any ongoing internal bleeding, you’ll be moved from recovery into the main room where the other patients are.”

“No! What I meant to say is that…”

“Save it, Peterson. Again, you need to be reminded that this is prison and not a five-star resort. You don’t get to convalesce in privacy as if you paid for a private room at the local hospital,” Warden Montgomery tells me. “But just so you know, while you were in surgery, there have been a few interesting meetings and decisions happening.”

“What are you talking about?” I ask, thoroughly pissed with her attitude concerning my very traumatic condition.

“The first thing you need to know is that you received a total hysterectomy.”

“A total hysterectomy? What exactly does that mean?”

“It means that thanks to your introduction and application of a wire hanger, which we’ll talk about in a moment, you no longer have your uterus. You not only managed to abort the child you were carrying, but damaged the uterine wall so much that it was either take it or have you bleed out. And just as a precaution against any of your eggs being able to be used in the future, we also removed your ovaries. So congratulations, you’re about to enter early menopause. But look at the bright side- no more periods. I don’t know about you, but I would consider that a blessing in disguise.” She mock shivers before continuing. “Since death was determined to be too good for the likes of you- I mean, let’s face it, even the devil wouldn’t want you right now, and we’re considering it a gift to the people in Purgatory not to have to listen to you justify your innate bitchiness- we did what we had to do to save your life. Isn’t that wonderful?”

She’s smiling wide, and I want nothing more than to get up from this bed and scratch her fucking eyes out! How dare they make that decision without my consent?! There has to be some law that this act clearly violates! “I want to speak with my attorney. I plan to sue the prison system for violating my rights as a patient.”

“There was no violation of your rights, Peterson. Not by the doctor, nor by State and Federal regulations. Think of it as having an amputation of sorts. If you had done such harm to your arms or legs, we wouldn’t be giving you a prosthetic either. We would just take the extremity causing your pain and suffering as humanely as possible, which we did with your reproductive system. You’ll live.”

“But…”

“Oh, I see what the real problem is here,” Warden Montgomery tells Doctor Danvers, but is really talking to me. “We took away all her future bargaining chips.”

The asshole nods at her implication. “Yes, I would imagine so, based on what I’ve read in her file. She won’t be able to claim pregnancy, or rape of her person by personnel going forward the way she intended to with young Chase, and his wife, Tara.”

“You… you know about them?” I ask, shocked. Just how much else did they find out while I was in surgery?

“Yes, the newlyweds came to me and were honest about their association with you. I’m happy to tell you that after speaking with the District Attorney, we will be adding Statutory Rape to your charges for both Chase and Tara. You really should have checked their IDs before you decided to commit that particular felony. But then again, there are intelligent criminals, dumb criminals, and then there is YOU, who manages to fall somewhere in between the two categories. I don’t know if I should pity you, or throw a party for the achievement of attaining a whole new classification all on your own. Well, you wanted to be unique, so I guess it is a celebration for you of sorts.”

“I will be speaking to your superiors about your lack of compassion and continual insults,” I threaten, but she just laughs.

“Go right ahead; they could use the comedy. So now, for the other decisions that were made while you were sleeping… In light of this latest episode in Lindsay Peterson- Failure Extraordinaire, there is no way you will be allowed to try for an insanity defense.”

“But I was under a lot of stress!” I wail at the news that my final attempt to be free is no longer an option.

“Most of that stress, as you call it, was due to your own stupidity and hate. The review board has already been made aware of the ruling on the Auerbach case, and the fact that the person who still holds your power of attorney paid the restitution. However, that was not enough to convince them that your stress level was so great that you entered a psychosis.”

“Aren’t I entitled to some sort of psychological evaluation to determine that?”

“We’ve already been consulting with staff, medical personnel, and an agent from the Behavioral Analysis Unit to reach the decision. The evaluation you mentioned is reserved for prisoners who have a history of unknown and untreated mental illness, or who have reacted out of character to known stressors. You don’t fall into any of those categories, Peterson. In fact, your history of maliciousness and vindictiveness is well-known. Also, before you speak with your attorney, you should be made aware that although the bulk of your cases have not gone before a judge as of yet, we are well aware of how you operate and have sent all of our information and findings to be reviewed by the State Supreme Court to make sure that our treatment of you, both in the recent past and going forward, is above the lawsuit you have already been planning.” She finishes with a smile.

God I hate this woman!

“The other thing you need to be made aware of is that when you are released from the infirmary, you are going to enter into solitary confinement…”

“Solitary confinement?! What for?!” I ask in shock and horror. I've done nothing to warrant being locked in a metaphorical box. This is grossly unfair!

“For your own safety, of course. The women on the ward- many of whom are either mothers themselves, or have lost a child- will not take kindly to the stunt you pulled regarding the baby you were carrying. Which brings me to the question of how you obtained a wire hanger in the first place? I mean, it’s not like you have been on laundry duty, so where did you get it?”

I stared at her silently, waiting for her to ask again. I absolutely refuse to tell her that I found it in the shower, which is next to the laundry room. It didn’t take a lot of time to sneak in there and grab it while the guard was answering the phone call, before advising me that morning of my court appearance on the docket for the afternoon. So yes, I knew in advance that I would be aborting the baby, but I hadn’t made up my mind as to when it would have had the most impact. So I hid it inside my jumpsuit and then between the vents under the bed when I got back to my cell. Hearing that Melanie paid Amanda Auerbach MY money seemed like the perfect stressor to cause me to lose it. 

Warden Montgomery snickers at my attempt at evasion. “Nevermind, Peterson. Besides, it’s not like I would know the truth from your lips since you lie so much anyway. It no longer matters, at any rate. So the only visitor you will be allowed from now on is from your attorney. Also, you will be allowed out one hour a day to eat, shower, and have a bit of time in the yard. All other meals will be delivered to your new home on the ground floor of the prison. Do you have any questions?”

“What questions could I possibly have now?" I toss back, snippily with a question of my own. Keeping the same reckless tone, I say, "You’ve obviously made your decisions so I just have to abide by them, or so it seems!” 

“That you do. Just consider it my way of keeping you safe and forcing you to do right for once in your life. So my advice is to rest up, because in a few days time, your real adventures will begin.”

With that she leaves, and I cry, instinctively knowing that all I have worked for since I was fourteen years old has culminated into my ultimate downfall.

JENNIFER

I think that while everyone else is busy with the post-interview celebration, it’s time for Melanie and I to have a little talk. I’ve been where she is now, and I think it’s only something a woman divorced can really understand. I watch silently as she lays a slumbering Gus down in his bed. The small serene smile gracing her face tells of just how much she loves him. Would that she would finally love herself, and all would be right in her world.

“You know, I never thought that I would be a mother. But now that I am, I just want to fix everything for him,” she tells me, as she pulls the blanket over him and takes his little thumb out of his mouth.

“I know, and believe it or not, that feeling will never stop. I still want to coddle and cuddle Justin from time to time, and he’s a grown man. Hearing of his misadventures since even before he officially met Brian, I have to fight the urge to lock him up and never let the world touch him again. But he would never let me do that, and you can’t either.”

We leave the room, as she clips the baby monitor onto the hidden pocket of her dress slacks. I have to admit that even with that particular device hanging from her, she presents an innate elegance which she rarely allows to shine through. The Dolce and Gabbana long jersey dress adorns her lithe frame beautifully, even with the pants underneath it. The floral print compliments her complexion, and gives her skin a dewiness that I’ve never seen on her before. It’s not hard to see Brian’s influence all over her.

It’s quite a difference from the dowdy, and sometimes outright frumpy outfits that Lindsay encouraged her to dress in. If I was Lindsay, I would absolutely be kicking myself for losing this brilliant and beautiful woman! But her loss is about to be some deserving young woman’s gain. Her confidence in her appearance is being outwardly restored. However, it's time to reignite the fire that drew the she-wolf in the first place.

“How are you handling all of the revelations of the interview?” she asks me.

“With mixed emotions like you wouldn’t believe,” I tell her as we enter the library, where I steered her. “On one hand, I’m so sorry that there is so much I couldn’t help him through. But on the other, I’m relieved that he had Brian. Between the two of them, they have survived so much.”

“Yeah. It makes me feel guilty for buying into the bullshit Michael and Lindsay continually spewed about them.”

“Me too. Only my view and opinion came mostly from Deb, and at the time looking deeper into their connection wasn’t something I was capable of. But I didn’t bring you in here to talk about them. I want to talk about you.”

“Oh? What about me?”

“How about we start with why you are hiding yourself from the one that got away?”

She looks at me in surprise, and then in annoyance. “Fucking Brian and Justin…”

“Nope. Don’t blame them, although I can tell by your reaction that this isn’t the first time you’re having this conversation.”

“They think I should call Leda.”

“And why haven’t you? I know that things between you and Janean aren’t serious to the point where a break-up would affect your working relationship.”

She shakes her head. “No, it’s not. In fact, we’re just having fun. The fact that we’ve always been friends is an added bonus.”

“Is it that by finding Leda you think you’ll ruin that friendship?”

“No. Janean’s not like that. It would never be about jealousy, but my happiness she would be concerned about.”

“And the same would go for you, as well,” I state. “Mel, I want to tell you something, and I want you to really listen to me. Actually, consider me your mother in this instance…”

“I already do,” she tells me, and I smile at her. I cross over to the sofa, and reach out to hold her hand.

“Good, because I meant what I said out there. I consider you one of my children, and honestly, you’re going to be good practice for when I have to deal with Molly.” I mock shiver and she laughs.

“Yes, I can see she’s going to give you a run for your money. I promise that I won’t be that hard to deal with.”

“That’s a relief, because what I want to tell you is that I’ve arranged for you to meet up with Leda when you all go to L.A.”

“You did WHAT?!”

“Now don’t get upset. I’ve known Leda for a long time, even though I didn’t know that she was involved with you. I met her through Charles back when I was first starting divorce proceedings with Craig. I didn’t know that she was the private investigator he’d hired to get me out from under Craig unscathed… well as much as he was able to, at any rate. She and I went to lunch to discuss her findings, and we got to talking about loves lost and those we should have given a chance, but couldn’t at the time.”

“What are you trying to tell me, Jenn?”

“That you were her one who got away.”

“Is that why she showed up at my office when I was still at the firm?”

“I imagine so. No matter how involved you were with Lindsay, she had to see for herself that you were happy.”

“I wasn’t.”

“She knew, but she wasn’t going to do anything to make you second-guess your decision to remain with Lindsay.”

“I wish she had, then I wouldn’t be in the position I am right now.”

“Don’t wish for that. Honestly, you’re in a better position now than you would have been at the time. You’ve started your own firm, you’re the mother you wanted to be when Gus was first born, you have support from your true family who might have been forced to pick a side by Lindsay. With the way this has all gone down so far, you have the chance to redesign your life, the way you want it without having to worry about anyone else, except possibly Gus. You’re not coming off as the villain Lindsay would have tried to make you into.”

I can see her thinking about that. “So you’re saying that I should call Leda? What if she’s moved on by now?”

“Then you’ll have some much needed closure and will be able to do the same.”

“And what about you? You mentioned the one who you couldn’t accept at the time.”

“The jury is still out on that one. He’s not only significantly younger than I am, but also a teacher at Molly’s school.”

‘If you’re worried about Justin’s reaction, don’t be.”

“Who said I would be?” I ask, a little defensively. The truth is, I would be, but only because he’s about to be thirty and…

“An assertive woman like you wouldn’t have wasted time if you weren’t, and the gentleman in question was of a certain age. Besides, if he gives you any shit, you can always remind him of the twelve-year age difference between him and Brian. That’s the perfect ammunition to keep a leash on mini-Rage.”

“Well when you put it like that…” she and I laugh about the irony before we’re interrupted by Glenda sticking her head through the door.

“You’d better come quickly, Jennifer, before we all end up hiding a body,” she tells us.

“Whose?”

“Debbie Novotny.”

We arrive in the foyer to the sound of yelling and the undoubted tone of Deb, yelling that they all owe her. Cynthia is being held around her waist by both Ted and Dale, while Joan and Nancy are trying to reason with Debbie. But Deb is in high-gear and it isn’t working. I figure I’d better try to intervene before this gets any more out of hand. “Debbie, I would say it’s a pleasure to see you but well… it isn’t. What are you doing here?”

“I came to tell Brian and Justin that I didn’t appreciate their total disregard for the things I’ve done for them over the years. I took care of them when their mothers couldn’t!”

I nod. “Okay, I’ll give you a modicum of credit for that. But it always came with the condition that they somehow owed you for the air they continued to breathe. And the price they paid was to take care of the spoiled, lazy little boy trapped in a man’s body that you raised. Is it any wonder why they would want to forget their association with you, since you were the club Michael used to beat them over the head with repeatedly?”

“I didn’t…”

“Yes, you did. And I know you did because even if I wasn’t privy to all that Michael has said and done, I was there more than enough times to see the end results.”

“If it wasn’t for me and Michael…”

“There would be no court cases going forth? Is that what you were about to say? Because if it was something along the lines that Brian and Justin would have died without your help, I beg to differ.”

“They would have! Lord knows you and Joan couldn’t be bothered!”

“And how many times are you going to throw our mistakes in our faces? Honestly, if we’re going to compare mother of the year records, I can assure you that you would come out the loser. Whereas Joan may have been distant for whatever reason, you did nothing but clean up some cuts and bruises, and then degrade Brian for being beaten like it was HIS fault. Vic is the one who took Brian to the hospital time and again to get him treated when Jack acted like a ham-fisted jackass. But you on the other hand decided that in order for Brian to keep having access to your vaunted presence, he had to put all his goals and achievements on the backburner so that your idiot could at least graduate high school on time. And don’t even get me started on your supposed care of Justin!

"Nevermind that I paid you room and board for his stay at Chez Novotny, but did he have privacy? Did he have more than a place to eat and sleep? Not really! But what he did have was YOUR SON invading his privacy at every turn, going through his things and throwing them in the garbage, or taking things from Justin that Michael could never have afforded while working full-time at the Big Q! Then he would complain about the cost of Justin’s upkeep, which is a subject that shouldn’t ever have bypassed his eternally-chapped lips since between Brian and I- WE- made sure that you were well-compensated above and beyond what a college dorm would have cost! So you don’t get to stand there and act like you’re perfect while looking down on me and Joan for making certain decisions, which actually turned out to be in the best interests of our boys.”

“How dare you!”

“I dare very much, and can go even further if I have to, Debbie!” I yell back, getting right up into her face. “If I were you, I would keep that hand you’re thinking of raising by your side, because I’m in the right mood to punch you in the face! Leave! Leave right now, before you end up in a cell right next to your little ingrate of wasted sperm for trespassing! As I told Vic earlier, I will handle the sale of your house now that you put it in his name, but you and I have nothing to say to each other from now on. Are we clear?”

And Deb just had to try it, didn’t she? I blocked her hand, and issued a punch of my own. Brian and Justin dragged me away before I had a chance to do any more damage. “Are you happy now, Deb?” Brian asks her. “You came here, looking for a fight. Is your ego now satisfied, or are you going to claim victim yet again? And for the record, I never would have left you behind, but I couldn’t cater to Michael’s whims anymore. I won’t cater to yours, either.”

The resignation in his voice hurts my ears and my heart, even as Nancy and Ronald escort her to the waiting cab at the end of the driveway. As Nancy comes back in, she comes over to me just as Glenda hands me some ice for my hand. “Jennifer, if you hadn’t done that, I would have eventually. The crap she was spewing before you came out here... That bitch is just as unhinged as her offspring and mine!”

“Nancy! Language!” we all yell, but end up laughing.

“What? It’s the truth,” she defends herself, but chuckles right alongside us.

ETHAN

I take out the headphones from the tablet I was listening to the interview on. I was excited at first because Justin was going to be on tv. I hadn’t seen him since he lit into me the last time, and I just wanted a glimpse of him. But now that I have, watching him with Brian has left me feeling… relieved. I know that probably sounds a bit strange after all I’ve done to keep him. But after hearing the things he’s done and gone through- before he even met me- sheds a whole new light on the connection between them.

Contrary to what I’ve been told and others believe, or what Justin himself thought for a time, Brian and Justin’s relationship has never just been all about sex. As loathe as I am to admit it, they compliment each other in a way I simply cannot compete with. When I think of everything I’ve done, and was doing, in order to turn Justin into my eternal groupie, I feel like such a damn fool! Justin is light-years past me in both experience and maturity. But then with all the hate surrounding him, I would imagine he’s always had to be.

I grew up with money, too, but I’ve never had to endure the bullshit coming my way that he has. The saddest thing is that it was from the one person he should have been able to trust above all… his own father! I can’t even imagine my family doing any of the things Craig Taylor did in order to get Justin to do his bidding. Sure, my family put their own brand of pressure on me, but mostly that was done out of love, and as a means for me to become the success I’m on the road to being. Their criticism was never meant to tear me down, but to cultivate my talent and belief in myself. Thinking back on it, I’m grateful to them for that.

And although I know now that Justin and I will never ever be anything more than exes, I hope that the people around him continue to build him up so that he learns and knows that he is worth so much more than what Lindsay, Michael, and the others tried to do to him. Hearing his story, Justin is not only a survivor, but he’s also a fighter! Surely, I’ll miss him, and all he's brought to my life for the short time we were together. But I realize now that I could have never been the best choice for him.

I look over to my new friend, who is asking me, “Ready to get this show on the road, Ethan? Aren’t you excited?” Leon asks. He’s a fellow student, who was also chosen to play in Harrisburg. He’s completely straight, but a lot of fun to be around.

I take another look at the tablet, before shutting it down. “Yes, I think I am. It will be good to get out of Pittsburgh.”

“That it will, man! Oh by the way, I just heard that Marta and Sterling Music just signed with Kinnetik for representation. Have you seen her YouTube vids yet? She’s already got over a million subscribers! I have to hand it to her, man. She might have blown the competition, but she sure has landed on her feet.”

I can’t help the little stab of jealousy at that bit of news. She’s already achieved global success, and didn’t have to sell out, or downplay her talent to do it?! But as I sit here and think about it, she was always destined to be so much more than we all ever gave her credit for. “Well, with Kinnetik representing her, she’s bound to be an even bigger success. This kind of atmosphere would have stifled her.”

“Any regrets?” he asks me.

As we find our seats on the plane, which will take us into the next phase of our futures, I think of all I’ve learned in the last few hours about Brian and Justin. I can honestly say, “No, Leon. Not one regret to be had.” I smile back at him as my heart whispers, Well wishes, Justin. I hope it all works out for you. You deserve every happiness.

MICHAEL

NO! No, no NOOOOOOO!!! That fucking twink told ALL! I was supposed to be the one to spill what happened at that fucking party. ME! Not that little teflon-coated bastard! To watch him and my husband-to-be sitting there all cozied up made me want to not only hurl, but destroy every fucking television in this place. It doesn’t help that Bubble is looking at me as if he’s laughing, and ready to beat my ass by turns.

“Lights out for you, Novotny,” the guard tells me. “Also the warden asked me to tell you that your privileges have been revoked, per the orders of the District Attorney.”

“WHAT?!?! But I haven’t done anything!”

“Sure you haven’t, except that the guards intercepted your attorney and a guest, trying to bring in a tape recorder when he was scheduled to see you. Recording devices, as you know, are prohibited unless State issued. So until further notice, you’re going to be confined to your cell and all your visits with your attorney will be supervised.”

“But…”

“Yes, YOUR BUTT out of the seat before I have to remove it personally would be a good idea,” he tells me.

“But there’s a V-Men marathon about to start. And after watching the love of my life betray me on national tv, I need a diversion. I think you of all people would understand that, Officer Malverne.”

Per the recent whispers, he’s having marital issues. So I figured playing on his sympathies would be worth a shot, and could possibly get me what I wanted. Besides, I don’t want to be anywhere near the cell when Bubble discovers the surprise I’ve left for him in response to just how nice he’s been to me since I arrived here. There were many afternoons that I walked in on him and Bubba laughing, and I know within my heart it was about me. So I arranged a little token of my appreciation, courtesy of one of Sap’s bully boys who just got indicted and works in the laundry room.

“No can do, Novotny. I’m not getting reprimanded, or losing my job because I have placated a mama’s boy like you. So, light’s out,” he tells me as he moves towards me to make good on his threat.

“FINE! I’m going!” I screech, knowing just how much that sound annoys people.

I take a sneaky look around at the other prisoners, intently watching the scene I’m causing. It gives me great pleasure to see the cringe in each of their shoulders. With the witnesses around, it will help my case when I complain about this guy, and my lawyer will have plenty of evidence and testimony to sue the State. After all, I have to replenish the nest egg I’d set up somehow if Brian and I are still going to be together. And we will! Oh, I could just kill Uncle Vic for giving Boy fucking Wonder back his money!

Making sure to adopt a pitiful expression of fear, and adding just the slightest touch of trembling to make it believable. “Can you make sure the nurse has my sleeping pill ready by the time I get to the cell? My attorney is certainly going to hear about this mistreatment. Besides, it will give me a chance to grieve the ending of my marriage in private.”

Bubble laughs. “Don’t tell me you’re trying for an insanity defense, Novotny. Your marriage is ending? Get real, dude!”

“Mind your own damn business!” I shoot back at him, before I had a chance to think about it. God, I can’t wait to be rid of him!

He growls in my direction, before addressing the corrections officer. “Malverne, if you should hear any noise coming from the cell tonight, ignore it. Catch my meaning?”

“I certainly do, but I’m off in an hour so try to do it after then, eh Bubble?” he responds, and this is just another thing I will be speaking to my lawyer about tomorrow!

Bubble seems awfully friendly with the hired help. I don’t care if he is a career criminal; there should be certain lines that are never crossed! Mr. Woodland really needs to get his ass back here, along with Bellwether, so we can figure out how to combat all of Justin’s defecation of… assin… his saying shit about me that is in no way true! There has to be some way to spin this to make me look innocent, and giving me cause for a civil suit. I have to be able to get MY money back!

Justin doesn't deserve any fucking thing- not MY money, and certainly NOT MY BRIAN!

“No problem, Officer. Later, Novotny,” Bubble says jovially, but the menace in his voice is more than clear.

I get back to the cell, and the first thing I notice is the empty bottle on Bubble’s nightstand, while there is a full bottle of water on mine. What the fuck?! I thought I told the idiot to make sure he left it on Bubble’s table. Well that explains why he’s still alive, doesn’t it? I walk over to the table and take the empty bottle into my hand. Unscrewing the cap, I sniff. It smells like the just like bleach I ordered to be mixed with the water. So that means he either poured it out, or the fucker drinks battery acid on a daily basis. Tossing the empty bottle into the trash can, I cross back over to my side of the cell and think about that fucking interview.

I can’t believe they went on national tv, and exposed all their misdeeds without a lick of remorse like that! I mean, I would expect Brian to be honest in that way, but Justin has always been a liar and full of deceit. He does shit and then plays innocent, like no one would believe his shit stinks! It shocked me to actually hear him own up to what a fucking whore he really is, without the least bit of shame. He sat there looking like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth, all the while detailing the plan me and Lindsay came up with to ensure Brian would finally come to his senses and leave his punkass.

My favorite part though was hearing him talk about stripping in front of all those men in Babylon. It’s something I would never have done, since I never would have shown my ass in public to anyone but the guys I screwed. But then, that’s just what little stupid sluts do, isn’t it? They make themselves targets of name calling, and advances or rape then complain when they get what they were asking for in the first place. I can’t deny that I took great pleasure in the little flinch Brian made when Justin was talking about it.

The other thing that made me smirk inwardly was them talking about the prom, or more accurately, Jennifer talking about the aftereffects. I know it’s something they would have rathered chew nails than actually talk about. It’s the reason why I chose to have Justin draw the panels of the bashing for the first issue. I knew it would bring up bad memories, and probably bring back the nightmares. I wanted him to have to relive it all, and to know that it could happen again at any time.

He could have said no, but him being the weak-willed fucker he was at the time, played right into my hands and helped my cause to break them apart for good. With Lindsay’s help, I just added that sniveling little shit named Ethan Gold, and our success was assured. I have to hand it to Hobbs though. He did a good job of fucking Justin up. It's just too bad Brian called Justin’s name, and that the little fucker didn’t die in the garage.

I wanted to see the pictures of his blood splattered on the pavement from having his skull cracked open. But at least he had a heart attack in the ambulance on the way to the hospital, so that’s something I guess. Though it would have made my life so much easier if he’d died instead of the fucking EMTs being able to restart his heart. The obstinate little fucker! But I guess it’s not too late.

As soon as I’m out of here, I’ll be happy to finish the job. Perhaps I should have done it myself in the first place, and then I could have been sure Justin’s murder was done right. I mean, no one would ever have suspected me since I’ve cultivated the innocent boy-next-door persona my entire life. No one could or would believe that I am capable of harming a fly, let alone my best friend’s boyfriend. More the fool, them!

In thinking about it further, it would have been the perfect murder, since I would have gotten away with it free and clear. Other than it simply not being believable that I committed the crime, Ma would have raised unholy hell defending me, and NO ONE would ever go against her! Oh well, once I’m out of here, I’ll make Justin's death a bonafide reality. And then I will be the one to comfort Brian after he is heartbroken over losing the little bastard, though I can't see why he would be; Justin's hardly a catch for anyone, especially Brian! But maybe Brian will finally see just how much I mean to him then, and that I’m the ONLY one he should ever be with.

I open the cap on the water on my desk/nightstand and take a large gulp. No use waiting for the nurse, since she always takes her time getting to me anyway. My throat begins burning almost right away, although I have no idea why. So I drink more, to try and calm the hacking cough trying to bubble up. Finally, after another huge gulp, I can’t stand the burning anymore.

I try to make it back over to the cell door, as my vision has now started to darken a bit. I’m banging, but no one is answering right away. The cough I was trying to stop the advance of has now taken over. God, I feel like I’m suffocating from the inside out! And then it dawns on me… Bubble didn’t drink the cocktail I had waiting for him. Instead, somehow, he switched the bottles, and I just ingested over half a bottle of UNDILUTED bleach.

‘Oh fucking hell! HELP!!!’ is my final thought as I pass out.