Chapter 25

After they had made it through Thanksgiving, the Kinney-Taylor family happily moved forward towards Christmas. Christmas season was traditionally the busiest time of the year for Brian as many companies had Christmas advertising and he had to make sure that all the campaigns were running smoothly and that the clients were happy with the outcome. At the same time they had to present the new spring campaigns and get ready for Superbowl commercials as well. Due to Christmas time being really busy, Brian had to spent more time at Kinnetik and couldn't work from home as much as he was used to and he also had to go on two business trips, one to New York, one to Chicago.

Unlike the last time, the boys didn't stay with their grandmas as this time they had their Papa at home with them. As Justin didn't want the grandmas to feel left out, he invited Debbie and his mother to stay with him and the boys at Britin for the duration of Brian's second business trip. Both grandmas readily agreed and a lot of fun was had by everyone while Justin got a chance to further work on his relationships with his mother and Debbie.

The boys and Justin spent a lot of money and energy on decorating the house and making it a winter wonderland. Brian groused and pretended to hate every second of it, but deep down Justin had a feeling that Brian actually liked the way he and the boys had made the home more christmas-y. With the help of their grandmas they baked tons of Christmas cookies and had a lot of fun eating them with hot chocolate after they had been done.

When the boys had gone to bed, Justin and his mom and Debbie spent comfortable evenings in front of the fire with cups of mulled wine, just sharing Christmas memories. Justin loved to hear the stories his mom and Debbie would share about Christmas the previous years and how excited Luke and Gus would get in the run up to Christmas. He loved to hear all he could about his two sons and his favourite holiday of the year, but hadn't dared to ask Brian too much. Every time he brought up previous Christmases, Brian had gotten tight-lipped and had refused to tell him much. Justin had been frustrated by that, but he had known Brian long enough to know that there had to be a reason. After much thinking, he had come to the conclusion that Brian didn't share these kind of stories with him because he still felt guilty about Justin not having been with them for previous Christmases and it almost seemed as if Brian was pretending they had never happened. Justin was hurt by that as he longed for stories about his sons, but on the other hand he could kind of understand where Brian was coming from. He hoped that one day they would truly be able to move on from what had happened, but it was probably still too soon and the memories too fresh at this time.

Justin took a sip of his mulled wine and looked at Debbie. He had been really curious about the events of the last five years and had wanted to ask her for several days now about all that had transpired in her life in his absence, but he didn't dare to. Much like Brian he didn't want to hurt her anymore than she had already been hurt and there was always his mom. He could just ask her when Debbie wasn't present. The two women were pretty much inseparable now and best friends and he was sure that his mom knew exactly what had happened in the past years. No need to open old wounds with Debbie.

“Get it out, Sunshine. You're only hurting your pretty head,” his surrogate mother said, startling him out of his thoughts.

“What?”

“You've been looking at me strangely for the last two days now. Judging by the stolen looks that you're throwing my way, I guess there's something you're curious about. So ask me, before you hurt your pretty head any further.”

“No, it's okay,” Justin smiled, taking another sip of his mulled wine.

“Sunshine, you don't fool me. Get it out now or I will kick your ass until you can't use it anymore for your favourite activity,” the red-headed woman announced in her typical brass way.

Justin chuckled and Jennifer blushed as she exclaimed “Debbie!”.

“What, Jen? He's an adult, he's been using that ass for fun since he's met Brian. Don't become all prudish now.”

“I am not prudish,” Jen defended herself and Justin had to agree that his mom had really come a long way from the woman she had been when he had first met Brian. She had heard so much about their sex life by now, he wasn't sure anything could still shock her. She had even caught them in the act back in the day much to Justin's embarrassment. “But he's still my baby and there are things a mother doesn't need to know.”

“Fine,” Debbie relented with a snort. “But you know I am right.” She then turned back to Justin and eyed him. “What do you want to know?”

“Nothing, Deb. Really, it's fine,” he tried once more, but once again the red-head didn't believe him.

“Bullshit, Sunshine. I am not as stupid as you might think I am. I might not be book smart like you and Brian, but I know people and I know you. Why don't you just ask me about Michael, so we can get this over with?”

Justin's eyes widened and he blushed, feeling caught when Debbie had so easily guessed what he wanted to know.

“Debbie, it's fine,” Justin tried again, this time in a gentle, comforting voice. “It's not my business and this is not the right time.”

“Of course it's your fucking business, all this mess was about your son and it's never the right time for this kind of conversation, so let's just get it over with, alright?” Debbie's voice had almost taken on a pleading tone and in the end Justin only nodded. He watched as his mother moved closer to Debbie and took her hand in hers in a gesture of silent support.

“Debbie, you don't have to do this.”

“Yes, I do. So fucking stop complaining and let us do this, alright?”

In the end Justin just sighed and nodded. There was no point in going against Debbie if she had her mind set to something.

“You know how Michael always had problems with you and your relationship with Brian. He never really understood the person that Brian really was and always blamed you for turning him into something he never wanted to be. He didn't understand that you only showed Brian that it was okay to be himself and that you showed him what was there hidden under his hardened self, but Michael was never smart enough to see the real Brian. He just saw his hero, the person he had worshipped since school and nothing else. He never grew up from that hero worship,” Debbie sighed.

Justin could only nod at her, knowing that she was right, yet feeling quite surprised that she was saying all these things. Usually she would have been the first to defend her wayward son and attack Brian. He wondered what had made Debbie change her tune.

“Once you had moved to New York, he had this fantasy in his head that Brian would become the Stud of Liberty Avenue once more and would go back to his old ways now that you were out of the picture. He never really understood how much you loved each other and that those feelings were real for Brian as well and not just you. He got Brian to rebuild Babylon and for the first few weeks after it's grand reopening, Michael and Brian would go to Babylon regularly. Brian mostly went to check on his newest business venture, but Michael never understood that. When Brian was in his office going over numbers, Michael just assumed he was in the backroom being back to his old self. Being at Babylon so much with Brian put a strain on Michael's relationship with Ben, but he didn't really care. His old Brian was back and that was all that mattered,” Debbie sighed.

Justin eyed her closely and saw all the pain she had to be feeling in her expressive eyes.

“Imagine how he reacted when he found out about Brian's pregnancy. He pretty much lost it and I think that was exactly what Brian had expected which is probably why he tried to keep it from Michael for as long as he could. Michael urged Brian to get rid of the baby.”

At this point Justin gasped in pure and utter shock. How could Michael do that? He had to have known the stories about Brian's mother wanting to get rid of Brian, but not having an abortion because of her faith. How could he say something like that to Brian?

“After that Brian pretty much broke away from Michael and their friendship took a turn for the worse. Michael couldn't understand that Brian, even though he might not have planned it and might not have wanted it to happen that way, was really happy about the pregnancy and having your kid. Brian was ecstatic and Michael chose to ignore that. Instead he went around sprouting shit about how you had punctured the condom to leave Brian with a little farewell present that would secure your place in his life for all eternity.”

At Justin's outraged cry, Debbie stopped. “What? I-I didn't even know Brian could have children. We never talked about that.”

“We know, Justin,” his mother tried to calm him. “Brian explained that to Michael several times...”

“But he didn't want to hear it. He had made up his mind about how Brian had gotten pregnant and how it was all your fault and that was the word he lived by. Of course it didn't help that Lindsay agreed with him.”

“Of course,” Justin only replied in pure sarcasm. Why wasn't he surprised?

“So Brian moved out to Britin, not only to avoid you, but also to avoid Michael and for the most part it seemed to work. Only a handful of people knew where Brian was and Michael wasn't one of them which he somehow blamed on you as well.”

“I didn't even know about Brian being pregnant, how could that be my fault?”

Debbie shrugged. “It didn't make sense to anyone but him. After Brian had Luke, for some reason he tried to reconcile with Michael. I guess he must have missed him or something and they met. He even introduced Michael to Luke, but Michael acted like Brian didn't have a son and just urged him to join him at Babylon and Woody's, not really understanding that Brian's life had changed. After it was obvious to Brian that they had drifted apart, he kept contact with Michael at a minimum. He had enough on his plate with a newborn and when Lindsay and Michael sicked child services on him, there was no place for Michael in his life anymore. Then one day Lindsay went to Britin and talked to Brian and urged him to meet and to talk Michael. She said he wanted to apologise. So Brian agreed to that meeting, not knowing that Michael and Lindsay had come up with their sick plan to take Luke away from him. Poor Brian was so distraught...I've only ever seen him like that when...,” Debbie suddenly stopped, not sure how to continue. She eyed Justin from wary eyes.

“When what?” Justin frowned, even though he had an idea where this was going.

“When you were in the coma after your prom,” his mother supplied quietly.

Justin nodded, somehow having known that had to be it. He could only imagine how Brian had to have felt thinking that his baby had been taken away from him and to know that Brian had felt the same about him at one time, warmed his heart.

“After Lindsay was arrested, Brian confronted Michael and asked him if he had been in on Lindsay's plan. After all it seemed weird that Michael would want a meeting with Brian on the very day Lindsay had booked a flight for herself and Luke to Toronto and would later show up at the airport to say that she was the child's mother. The idiot that he is, Michael didn't even deny it and they arrested him just a day after Lindsay.”

Debbie finished for a minute and dabbed at her teary eyes with a handkerchief that Jennifer had handed her. Even after all this time the truth of what Michael had done hurt and pained her.

Justin had to agree, that sounded like really idiotic behaviour. Even a fool like Michael had to have known that he would be considered an accessory to a crime. Apparently not, Justin mused.

“But... Emmett said that you and Brian had a falling out too and that it took you quite some time to make up again,” Justin said after several minutes of silence where he and his mom gave Debbie some time to compose herself.

“Look, Sunshine, I am not proud of it, but... what can I say? Michael is my son and...”

“You wanted to be on his side and wanted to support him,” Justin said quietly.

“I... yes,” Debbie admitted in the end. “I thought that somehow this must have been Brian's fault. Michael wouldn't have done something like that because I couldn't see him for the vindictive, selfish bastard that he was. I... I only saw the good in him and how much he loved Brian, but I couldn't see how that love had turned him blind to common sense.”

“But why did you make up with Brian?” Justin asked the one question that was still burning on his mind.

“Between Michael's continued attempts to get me to take Luke away from Brian and Carl's insistence that Michael was not as innocent as I'd have liked him to be, I truly started to see things for what they were. I saw what Michael had turned into and saw how unfair I had been towards Brian. So... after a final visit to Michael, I started to make amends with Brian. I had already lost my son and my granddaughter and I wouldn't have risked losing Brian or my grandsons for anything in the world.”

“You're not talking to Michael anymore?” Justin asked silently, wondering if he had understood Debbie correctly when she had mentioned a last visit to Michael.

Debbie just shook her head, before she was overcome by tears. Justin watched as his mother hugged the red-headed woman close and comforted her quietly. He gave them both the time they needed and went over to the bar cart to get them all a shot of something stronger than mulled wine. He felt like they all needed it.

When he returned to his seat, his mother and Debbie smiled at him gratefully. “Thanks, Sunshine.”

After a few more minutes of silence, Debbie continued with her sad tale. “After the trial, I would go and visit Michael as often as I could, but he had changed. He was lashing out and thought I hadn't done enough to keep him out of prison. I am not really sure what he expected me to do in light of the severity of what he had done, but he would only ever complain to me that I hadn't been there for him and hadn't helped him when he had needed me. Once that tirade was over, he would go on and on about how I needed to make sure that Luke was taken away from Brian, so Brian could live the life he had always wanted and could be the Stud of Liberty Avenue. When I tried to explain to Michael that I would do no such thing and that Brian was a loving, dedicated father, he threw me out and told me that I had died for him and that I was no longer his mother, that obviously I was loving Brian more than I loved him and if that was the case, he never wanted to see me again. After that he has always refused to see me and he's not answering to any letters I sent him.”

New tears ran down Debbie's cheek and Justin moved over to her other side, sitting down next to her. He threw his arms around the woman that had loved him like a second mom when his mom had had trouble doing so and who had been there for so many lost boys on Liberty Avenue. She was truly the angel of Liberty Avenue, a woman with a heart as big as could be and Justin felt for her, imagining the pain Michael's words must have caused her. Yes, she had her faults too, like any other person and Justin knew most of them better than anyone else, but still he felt bad for her.

“It's his loss, Debbie,” Justin whispered as he hugged Debbie. “You are too good for him. He doesn't deserve a loving mother like you. I am glad you decided to be Brian's mom instead and to be a grandmother to our kids.” He kissed her cheek and smiled at her.

“You have to thank Carl for that,” Debbie chuckled through her tears. At Justin's confused face she went on explaining. “That big oaf saw how I was hurting and how I was pulling into myself more and more, missing shifts at the diner, not being all there when I was physically there, but not mentally and he urged me to seek out Brian and apologise to him. He reminded me of how much Brian loved me and how I wasn't only Michael's mother, but his mother as well and how he needed a mom too. Brian had been hurt too. He had been betrayed by his best friends and he didn't have anyone on his side. Well, of course he had Teddy and Cynthia and your mom, but you know?” Debbie asked and Justin knew what she meant. Brian hadn't had the people that had mattered most to him. His best friends had betrayed him, Justin had been in New York, if not by his own choice and Debbie, whom Brian had always loved like a mother had sided with the one person who had hurt him. Justin could only imagine how alone Brian must have felt. He had felt pretty much the same just a few short months ago when he had found out about how everyone had betrayed him.

“It took some time, you know how he doesn't trust easily, but in the end he accepted that I meant what I was telling him and he accepted me back into his life. And I've never been so glad about anything before. Having him and Luke and Gus has helped me more than anything. Their happiness has given me happiness and strength to make it through the dark days,” Debbie ended and Justin could only nod at her. He knew of the power that his family had, he had experienced it firsthand when he had thought that he would never have been able to make it through the pain that Brian had caused him by keeping his son a secret, but now, after having spent time with his sons and Brian and seeing how happy his children were, their happiness had helped him move on from his pain as well and much like Debbie, their happiness helped him through bad moments that still occurred occasionally. They were what had given him the strength to move on from Brian's betrayal and to start a new chapter of his life with his family by his side.