Chapter 8

After Ted had left, Emmett had returned back to the living-room and he and Justin had talked about what their next steps should be. Emmett had agreed with Ted and Brian that Justin should have Daphne's father look over the custody agreement. He would make sure that Brian wouldn't take advantage of Justin's interests. Daphne already hated Brian for what he had done to Justin five years ago and once she would learn what Brian had kept from Justin, she would make it her goal in life to destroy him and would get her father to help her. If there was one person who would fight fiercely for Justin's best interest, it would be Daphne and by association her father.

Justin had reluctantly agreed to get her and her father involved, but only because he respected Ted's wish not to get Melanie involved. He would need to find out what had gone on between Brian and the munchers, but Emmett hadn't been much help and anyone else he could talk to about that was high on his shit-list at the moment. So that would have to wait.

Daphne had agreed to come over and to call her father, despite the late hour and had her father check the custody agreement for Justin. After reading through every paragraph for more than an hour, talking to her father on the phone the whole time, she had turned to Justin and had informed him that they hadn't been able to find any loopholes in the agreement. It had been a really fair custody agreement and Brian was basically giving him unlimited access to his son.

As predicted by Emmett, Daphne had been beyond pissed once she had found out about Brian's betrayal, but what had seemed to have hurt her even more was Jennifer's role in all of this. She hadn't been able to believe that Justin's own mother would pull something like this on her son, a son she had nearly lost once. Daphne had been muttering angry threats at Jennifer Taylor all night.

In all of the angry muttering and threatening that Emmett and Daphne were doing, Justin hadn't been able to miss the sad look in Emmett's eyes. He had known that Emmett had been hurting because of Ted's behaviour and had taken his friend aside late at night, before they had settled down for the night.

“I am sorry, Emmett. I didn't mean for you and Ted to fight over this as well,” Justin sighed, now feeling even worse than he had before. “I never wanted you to get pulled into our mess as well.”

“Baby, you stop right there! None of this is your fault, you hear me? You are the innocent party in all of this and you have no apologising to do at all. Don't you worry about this old queen here. I'll be fine, you hear me? We're only here to worry about you and that little munchkin of yours,” Emmett said as he took Justin in his arms. “Do you think he'll be at Debbie's tomorrow as well? I really can't wait to see him,” Emmett mused.

“God, I hope not,” Justin breathed out. “I doubt that it's going to be a nice meeting.”

“Yeah, you're probably right,” Emmett sighed, before hugging Justin once more. “Whatever happens, you'll have me and Daphne and her father there to support you.”

“Thanks, Emmett. I really appreciate it.”

Now, a mere 9 hours later, Justin was really glad to have Emmett, Daphne and her father at his side as he made his way up the stairs to Debbie's house. He wondered why Brian would consider her place 'neutral' when she had been in on everything, but in the end he had just showed up at the designated time, wanting to get this over with. He really didn't care all that much why they were meeting at Debbie's, he just wanted the meeting to be over already.

“Hello?” he called out for the owner of the house, when he opened the door slightly and was surprised to find Carl at the bottom of the stairs, just getting into his jacket, seemingly on his way out of the house.

“Hey, Justin,” Carl greeted the young man with a sad, yet friendly smile. “Debbie is out with your mom and the boys. They're on babysitting duty for the day. I'll be off to work now. You behave and don't make me come here while I am on duty, you hear me?” The older man said seriously as he gave Justin's shoulder a friendly squeeze.

“I'll try,” Justin replied, not feeling like he was able to say more.

Carl noticed how he started looking around the house and immediately knew what or rather whom Justin was looking for. “He's outside on the porch waiting for you.”

With that Carl left the house, giving a short greeting to Daphne, Emmett and Mr. Chanders, before he got on his way to work.

Justin made his way into the living-room and from there into the kitchen. He saw some papers on the kitchen table and upon closer inspection saw that it was the custody agreement that he had gotten the night before from Ted. Once he raised his eyes from the papers on the table, he looked outside the kitchen window and saw Brian on the porch. He could see how tense Brian was. Even after all these years he could still see the signs. Brian's tense shoulders, his stiff back all clear indicators that he was nervous or maybe even scared.

'Well, serves him right,' Justin thought to himself and schooled his face into a mask of indifference when he saw Brian turn around. He could recognise the exact moment when Brian had seen him, because Brian had shuddered ever so slightly. Justin couldn't be sure, but he would bet all his money that Brian had gasped.

He steeled himself for what was to come when he saw Brian move over to the back door and open it. He was glad when he felt Emmett's hand on his shoulder, giving it a supportive squeeze.

Once Brian had moved into the kitchen, he looked at its four occupants and gave a short nod in greeting. “Should we start?” He asked, his voice sounding all business-like. This was Brian Kinney the ad exec, Justin recognised, not Brian Kinney his former lover and fiance. Well, if Brian wanted to play this meeting like that, he could do it, too. Sure, he could pretend to be all business-like as well.

“Sure,” he replied coldly before taking a seat at the kitchen table. “Aren't we waiting for your lawyer?”

“No,” Brian replied curtly and sat down at the opposite end of the table, as far away from Justin as he could.

“I would feel better if you had legal representation here as well,” Daphne's father spoke up at that moment, taking a seat next to Daphne, who was sitting next to her best friend. Emmett sat down on Justin's other side. Justin would have chuckled at the arrangement of him being surrounded by two friends and his lawyer while Brian sat all alone at his end of the table, but he didn't feel like chuckling and the situation was too damn serious.

“No,” Brian just replied once more, his eyes never leaving the custody agreement in front of him. “Whatever we decide today will be fine with me,” he muttered quietly and Justin realised that Ted had been right last night: Brian would give him whatever he wanted.

As Daphne's father and Brian started to go over the exact paragraphs of the agreement, going through each and every single one, Justin couldn't help but watch Brian closely. Ted had been right, Brian was a picture of guilt and misery. He had never seen Brian like that before and the Brian that he had known, would have fought tooth and nail over even the slightest change in wording that Mr Chanders suggested, but this Brian just took it all in and nodded at every change Daphne's father requested. Sure, they were only small things and mostly concerning wording to make the custody agreement more clear, but he was really giving Justin all he wanted. Why?

Brian looked up and frowned at Justin. “Why what?” he asked in obvious confusion.

Only then did Justin realise that he had been speaking that question out aloud. He looked Brian squarely in the eye and elaborated on his question. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because he's your son, too and I would assume that now that you know of his existence, you would want to spend time with him,” Brian explained in his most bored business-voice.

“Cut the bullshit, Brian. That's not what I meant,” Justin gave back, holding Brian's intense gaze. He saw anger and pain in Brian's eyes, but there was also something else, something that spoke of regret and Justin wasn't sure, but maybe even love? No, that couldn't be. Brian Kinney didn't do love and if this meeting didn't prove that Brian had never loved him, what else would? No, Justin had to be mistaken.

“Then I have no idea, what you mean.”

“Why are you not fighting tooth and nail against our suggestions?”

“Why would I?”

“Because you're you and if there's one thing you don't do, it's losing. And to you this must feel like losing, changing word after word,” Justin spat, his anger taking over once more. Why couldn't he stay calm for once when talking to Brian? Why was this man making him so damn angry?

“Maybe because this is not about me, but about Luke and I have his best interest at heart,” Brian replied calmly, apparently having an easier time than Justin with staying calm.

“Like you had his best interest at heart when you kept me out of his life for five years?” Justin then exploded and hurriedly got up from the chair and ran out of the kitchen when he felt the tears start once more. He would be damned if he let Brian see his tears.

He didn't feel the eyes of two concerned friends on his back and the eyes of one person whose eyes reflected nothing but the same pain and misery he was feeling. He made his way onto the porch and hugged himself tightly, fighting against the tears that were once more streaming down his face.

When he heard the door to the porch being opened from inside the house, he figured that Daphne or Emmett had come out to check up on him and he jumped in surprise when he heard the one voice he would have never expected.

“That was never it, Justin,” Brian whispered as he moved to a spot next to Justin. He knew better than to touch the shivering man next to him, so he just stood next to him and looked out at the garden when he spoke again. “That was about your best interest.”

“My... my best interest? Are you fucking kidding me? How was any of this in my best interest?” Justin turned blazing eyes on Brian's still form.

“You deserved your chance at your career. You would have never gotten this amazing career you have now, if I had told you.”

“My career? Who gives a fuck about my career?” Justin glared.

“I do,” Brian muttered, still not looking at Justin, but ahead at the bush of roses at the very end of the garden. “You deserved only the best.”

“And in your twisted mind a career was better than having a family?” Justin asked incredulously.

“A family would have tied you down, you were too young. You needed more time to build your portfolio. I don't say that a career is better per se, but at that time for you, yes, it was better.”

“And who gave you the right to decide that for me? This is my life, MY LIFE! Not yours, not my moms. My life. Who gave all of you the idea that you could make decisions on my behalf?”

“Justin...,” Brian sighed and turned to look at his former fiance. He looked at him from sad, troubled eyes. “What would you have done if I had told you that I was pregnant?”

“I would have packed up my shit in New York and would have come back,” Justin exclaimed.

“See?” Brian just said as if Justin's statement had proven his point.

“See what? All I can see is that you are the biggest bastard I have ever had the non-pleasure to meet in my life.”

Brian ignored Justin's last statement and just went on explaining his point. “You would have thrown away your chance at your career. You would have thrown away your future and for what?”

Justin looked at Brian from steely eyes and wondered if Brian was for real. He couldn't really be asking that question. “For my family,” Justin replied calmly. When Brian just shook his head at Justin's answer, Justin went on anyway. “I get it, you didn't care. You didn't want a family. Being pregnant was probably a huge inconvenience for you. You probably cursed me to the moon and back for ever topping you and getting you pregnant to begin with because the pregnancy and the prospect of a child probably really diminished your stud-qualities. And we all know that's all you ever cared about. But I am not you! You knew... you fucking knew that it was my dream to have a family with you. You fucking knew, how could you not? You mocked me enough times about it...,” Justin talked himself into a rage and never noticed the clouded look on Brian's features. “I know that all you care about is your success and your company and being the fucking stud of fucking Liberty Avenue...but I am not you! I never cared about that damn career.”

“Is that what you think of me? Is that how you see me?” Brian asked taken aback by Justin's words which had cut into him like a knife. Each word had hurt as if he had been physically hit by his father's fists. If he was honest with himself, Justin's words hurt even more.

“What else am I to think?”

Justin never got a reply to his question as Brian just looked at him squarely. “You want to know why I am not fighting you about that stupid custody agreement? You really want to know why?” He asked him instead.

“Yes,” Justin muttered angrily.

“Because I've been there. I've been through that with the munchers more times than I care to count. I've seen Michael and the munchers go at it over Jenny Rebecca and I am sick and tired of children being used as pawns in the games of stupid adults who can't get their priorities right. My first priority is my son's happiness, so I will do whatever it takes to make him happy. If that means giving him more time with you, fine. So be it. I'll be the last person to put my own ego before his best interest. So you want a different agreement? Fine, take whatever you want. I will not use our son as a pawn between us and I won't allow you to do it either,” Brian ranted before he turned around and went back into the house without another word.

All Justin could do was look after Brian open-mouthed. As he watched after Brian and contemplated his words, he knew that Brian was partly right. Of course. Damn, he had been at Brian's side through all the custody shit that Lindsay and Melanie had put him through. He had been there when Brian had given up his parental rights to Gus to ensure the happiness of his son. He had seen Michael, Lindsay and Melanie fight over Jenny Rebecca after her birth and he couldn't blame Brian for being sick and tired of it. Brian was right about one thing: This was not about them, this was about what was best for their son. And while Justin still had a hard time getting his head around the fact that he had a son, he knew at the same time that none of this was Luke's fault. Everything that had happened had happened because of Brian and was something that they needed to figure out, but Brian was right, they needed to figure it out without using Luke as a pawn in their game of revenge.

Justin couldn't help but remember Ted's words from the evening before. Luke was a happy child and he shouldn't forget about Luke in all of this. Damn, he had done just that. He had been so angry with Brian and had wanted to goat him into a fight about a stupid custody agreement when all that should matter was their son. Brian had kept his focus just there, on the well-being of his child and he? What had he done? Damn... no wonder no one had wanted him around his kid...

Justin sighed and ran his hand through his hair, before he went back inside. As he entered the kitchen, he knew what he had to do and he would do what was best for his son. For once he would put his hurt and anger aside and would do what was best for Luke. That knowledge gave him a new resolve as he made his way back to the kitchen table where he could see Brian, Daphne, her father and Emmett glare at each other.