DOWN UNDER

Chapter 1

Justin sat on their bed while Brian stood in front of the mirror and tried various shirts on.

‘But I thought we were going to Canada to see Mel, Linds and the kids?’

‘We were, originally. I’ve spoken to them. Plans have changed slightly’

 ‘So while I go up north, to see YOUR son, you’re going ..down under?’

‘That’s the plan.’ Brian walks over and digs into his bag. Justin follows him with his eyes.

‘Well. How long will you be gone?’

Brian pulls two envelops out his bag and holds them up, fanning them.

‘WE will be gone a month’

‘Wh..We?!, You‘re taking me?’

‘I’m taking you’

Justin leaps up and wraps his arms round Brian’s neck

“We’re going to Australia?”

‘We’re going to Australia’

Justin planted a lingering kiss on Brian’s mouth.

‘Oh, but I’ve packed for cold weather’

‘Well you’d better re think your wardrobe Sunshine, cause we’ll be spending most of our time in …sun shine’

‘Oh…my god!’

‘Get packing. We’re on the plane in 48 hours’

Justin rushes off towards the walk in closet, but darts back in, plants another quick peck on Brian’s cheek

‘Thank you! I love you’

‘Go. Before I change my mind’ he laughs as Justin retreats again

Justin was excited. Brian had never taken him on a trip anywhere. Much less overseas and now they were going to Australia. Pulling out t-shirts and pants, he started to hum to himself

Brian had the entire trip planned. First they would land in Queensland, then make their way on bus down to Canberra, Sidney, The Gold coast then the Northam Territory, before heading back home. But he’d timed the trip specifically to be in Sidney the weekend of the Mardi Gras. He’d heard about it’s reputation, and it’s apparently an event ‘everyone has to see at least once in their life’

‘Brian?’ Justin called from the wardrobe.

‘Mmm?’

‘What’s this?’

Brian wondered into the wardrobe to find Justin standing there with a card in his hand and a deer in the headlights look on his face

“Did you read it?’

Justin’s frown turns to a grin then a smile and he laughs.

‘Brian Kinney gives a shit!. Are there any more of these I should know about?’

Brian  just smiles, and exits the wardrobe

Friday evening they made their way to the airport by cab, and Justin practically bounced to the check in que. Brian while quietly amused, kept his composure.

‘Will you settle’

‘Sorry. I’ve just never been out the country’

‘If you don’t settle, I’ll put you over my knee…’

‘Promise?’ they both laughed

‘We’re flying Qantas direct.  787 We need to be over…there’ he pointed to a long line to the right.

‘’Seems to be moving fast though’

After they checked their luggage in, they had a couple hours to waste before needing to board, so they decided to have coffees in a little café with a window view of the tarmac.

The sun was just beginning to set, but it was light enough to still make out planes that were coming in and leaving.

The waitress brought over their drinks and smiled.

“Both traveling today gentlemen? Or just one?’

‘We’re going to Australia for a month!’ Justin smiled at her his trademark smile then looked at Brian. ‘Brian surprised me with a trip’

‘Oh, that’s nice. Well you have a good time then’ she blushes and leaves.

‘Is it just me? Or do we seem to attract attention whenever we’re seen together?’

Brian grinned around his coffee. ‘It’s not just you. But it’s because OF you’

‘And none of that attention could possibly be because of you’ They both laughed

‘It’s true. I’m unbelievably handsome’

‘And not at all modest’ Justin sips his coffee. ‘Even breeders flirt with us’ More laughter

After finishing their coffees, they wondered around the shops for a while. Brian stopping at a duty free liquor shop and purchasing some whiskey to pick up in Cairns.

‘When we arrive, first thing I’m going to do is….’

‘Brian, lets save the bedroom talk for a less public location?’

‘You’ve never shied away from public …affection before’

‘People expect it in Liberty Avenue, and Babylon. Not in an airport’

Brian took Justin’s hand and just held it at their sides

‘Well this subtle enough for you?’

‘It’s fine’ Justin squeezed Brian’s hand

An hour later, they’d gone through customs, and had boarded. Much to Justin’s delight and surprise, Brian had got them seats in business class. The chairs were amazingly spacious. With private television screens, and high cubicle sides to give the passenger privacy. Two people could’ve sat in one chair.

‘Brian, this is amazing’

‘Only the best for my sunshine. Now can I kiss you?’

Justin chuckled and lent in for a slow, love filled kiss. Just as a steward walked past and smiled at them.

‘Evening sirs. Can I interest you in a glass of wine?’

Justin pulled away from a clingy Brian long enough to nod and mumble a ‘Yes’

The steward raised his eyebrows as he poured the golden liquid

‘Perhaps you would prefer a boudoir’ 

Justin pushes Brian away and straightens up, takes the wine glasses. ‘Thank you steward’

The man bowed slightly and moved on. The wine was already drunk by the time the plane left the tarmac. The flight was going to take 23 hours with one stop over.

Justin yawned hugely. Brian was asleep in the chair next to him. The lights in the cabin were dimmed, but he couldn’t seem to sleep. Wasn’t sure how Brian could. The ‘seatbelt’ light was off, so he dicided maybe stretching his legs would help. Unbuckling himself he walked to the little passenger coffee bar. He set the granules and sugar in the cup, and carefully poured the pre boiled water in, then the milk.

Arms wrapped themselves round his waist and gently pulled their bodies together. Back to chest.

Justin whispers. ‘I thought you were asleep’

‘Someone woke me when he climbed over my lap’

‘Sorry’

‘Hmm, I’m not’

‘Want a coffee?’

‘Not exactly’ Brian leant in and nibbled at Justin’s ear lobe

‘Do you ever think of anything else?’

‘Oh come on. Your just as bad as me’

‘Not even’

Brian tightens his hold round Justin’s waist. Making his situation clear

‘There’s people!...Breeders!’ Justin hisses

The plan jolted slightly with turbulence and Justin had to brace himself on the counter while Brian held him.

‘How many more hours have we got up here?’

‘About 16 I think’

Brian and Justin decided to go back to their seat and try get some rest. They ended up curled up in each others arms and reclined the seat back as far as it would go, which was almost flat as a bed.

Justin pulled the blanket up over both of them.

A stewardess walked past 15 minutes later to find both men sound asleep. Tangled arms, Brian snoring quietly. She motioned for her co-worker to come over, and smiled.

She whispered. ‘How adorable’

Justin woke some time later to someone gently shaking his shoulder, and speaking quietly

‘Excuse me sir?’ Justin cracked open an eye. A blonde Australian stewardess smiled at him.

‘Sorry to wake you sir, but we’re an hour from landing. We need you to pull your seat up and buckle your belts’

‘Yeah o…ok’ she moves off. ‘Brian? Brian, wake up, we need to sit up. We’re landing in an hour’

‘Hmm?’ Brian blinked his eyes a couple times

‘We need to sit up hon, we’re landing soon’

A groggy Brian pushed himself to sit up and Justin pushed the button that made the ‘bed’ become a seat

The landing was a bit bumpy but they were soon pulling into the terminal at Cairns international.

The buzz of excitement began to creep in again as the PA sprung to life and the captain spoke.

‘Good morning passengers. We have arrived in Cairns international. It’s approximately 16 degrees outside, the local time is 8am. We hope you have enjoyed your flight with Qantas airlines. Please remain in your seats until the seatbelt light is switched off. Thankyou’

***

They’d eventually got off their plane, had collected their luggage and headed out to the taxi lane.

They loaded the bags into the trunk, and gave directions for the hotel they were staying at.

The driver, oddly enough was American himself, and they shared a couple laughs between them.

The driver helped them out with the bags at the hotel, and the bagboy led them to their room once they’d signed in at the desk. They thanked him, and Justin closed the door and locked it.

Brian was standing in front of the king bed in the deluxe suite, hands in pockets. Smiling at his sunshine.

Justin all but ran to Brian, and the impact sent them both falling backwards, as hands started to explore and undress.

Justin ended up straddling Brian as mouths followed hands, and before long they were both feeling desperate for release.

Justin took Brian into his mouth eagerly, while at the same time, cupped his balls and began to massage them. Brian was already moaning when Justin slipped one finger in, and it made is flinch a little. But he relaxed and steadied Justin’s hand. Helping him push two then three fingers in.

-SONG- What would I do without your smart mouth, Drawing you in, and you kicking me out

You’ve got my head spinning, no kidding, I can’t pin you down

What’s going on in that beautiful mind, I’m on your magical mystery ride

And I’m so dizzy, I don’t know what hit me, But I’ll be alright

My heads under water, but I’m breathing fine,

You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind,

Brian’s entire body was quivering with need, and he grabbed Justin’s head pulling him into a fierce kiss, possessing his mouth, and letting his tongue dance in Justin’s mouth. He could taste himself.

Not wanting contact with his dick to be broken, he guided Justin’s hand south, and the blond wrapped his warm hand around it and rubbed.

Cause all of me, loves all of you, Love all your curves and all your edges, All your perfect imperfections

Give your all to me, I’ll give my all to you, You’re my end and my beginning, even when I loose I’m winning, Cause I give you all of me, and you give me all of you

Justin couldn’t wait much longer himself, he sat up and positioned himself at Brian’s hips, holding himself steady, he pushed a little, and then slid in easy. Both men groaning at the pleasure it gave them.

They moved slowly, moving as one body. Brian was running his hands up and down Justin’s chest and over his thighs and Justin braced  his hands on Brian’s shoulders

How many times do I have to tell you, Even when your cryin you’re beautiful too

The world is beating you down, I’m around through every mood

You’re my downfall, you’re my muse, My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues

I cant stop singing, It’s ringing in my head for you

Justin’s pace was getting faster now. He had a little less control over his body, and a need was setting in fast. A need for release. ‘Brian…’

‘Not yet’

‘I can’t, I need to’

Brian pulled his head down, and was all but crawling into his mouth. Kissing his lips, his nose, his collarbones.

‘Brian!’

‘Oh….God! Justin, now! Do it!

My heads under water, but I’m breathing fine, You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind

Cause all of me, loves all of you, Love all your curves and all your edges, All your perfect imperfections,

Give your all to me, I’ll give my all to you, You’re my end and my beginning, even when I loose I’m winning, Cause I give you all of me, and you give me all of you, (John Legend)

Justin let what little control he had left go, and he shot hot streams of cum into Brian’s body. He was spent. And collapsed in a heap on top of an equally spent Brian.

Both panting they gave into sleep.

***

Brian woke to find Justin watching him, smiling

‘What?’

‘Are we gonna do anything besides stay in the hotel for a month?’

‘I have plenty planned.’

‘Tell me’

‘No’

Justin pouts ‘Why not?’

‘Because…’ Brian pushes Justin over onto his stomach ‘That would spoil the surprise I have planned’

Brian had actually planned a special dinner for them. They would spend most of the day fishing, then he’d planned a romantic dinner at a small café that over looked the beach. They would watch the sun set over the water

As Brian pushed into Justin for the second time in less than a day, he vowed to himself, this was going to be a trip Justin would never forget.

They shared a shower afterwards, pulled out some cloths, and headed down to the hotel restaurant for some late lunch.

Justin went to hold Brian’s hand again as they walked through the lobby, but Brian pulled his hand away. He wasn’t sure how people here would react, and he didn’t want unwanted attention being brought to themselves. Until he could determine how much these people would tolerate homosexuals and public displays of affection.

Justin looked inquisitively at him.

‘What?’

‘I don’t want attention on us’

‘Brian, we get attention anyway. Why not give them something to talk about. It’s just hands. Not like I’m gonna pull your pants down….’

A older hotel guest gave them a look as she past.

Justin lowers his voice.

‘Not like I’m gonna fuck you right here’

They entered the restaurant and were greeted by the waiter.

‘Good afternoon gentlemen, table for 2?’

Brian nods, and the man leads them to a table in a corner near a grand piano.

He places a couple of menus on the table once they were seated, and smiles.

‘Can I start you off with a drink?’

‘Chardonnay’

‘Excellent. You boys from America?’

‘Yeah’

‘Where abouts?’

‘Pennsylvania. Originally. But we move around a bit. Justin’s an artist’

‘And Brian owns his own business’

‘Are you two…’

‘We’re together, yeah’

‘Well that’s cool mate.’ He nods. ‘I’ll be right back with your drinks’

Brian purses his lips, and Justin smiles.

‘See? Now give me your hand’

Lunch had been barramundi with a side of chips and salad, and the wine was dry. There was soft jazz music playing, and there were only a handful of other couples having meals.

They sat for another hour discussing plans for the next week. They would spend a week in Cairns, then head west to the northern territory, then back East again to Sidney, and finally in the fourth week, would finish on the Gold coast and surfer’s paradise.

This week though, they were going to take a treetop rain forest walk, and fish along the coast.

Brian and Justin spent the rest of the afternoon shopping for Armani, Prada and Gucci

Chapter 2

-I need you because you make me laugh more than anyone else, and I’m the best me when I’m with you.

And because when you’re gone, nothing feels right until you return- Anonymous.

Justin smiled as he held the card he’d discovered while Brian was on the phone calling a cab. He wondered over and wrapped his arms around his waist. Brian finished the call, and replaced the phone.

‘Found it huh?’

‘Any more of these I should know about?’

‘Maybe. But you’ll have to wait and see’

They closed the gap and kissed for a long moment, before Brian pulled away.

‘We’ll never get to see the sights if you keep doing that with your tongue’

‘Hmm, I’ve got all the sights I wanna see right here’

Brian playfully slapped Justin on the rear, and grabbed his hand.

‘C’mon sunshine’

The cab was waiting for them outside, and they both climbed in the back seat. Brian gave directions, and they arrived at their destination in 30 minutes. They paid the cab driver and headed into the administration’s office.

Behind the desk was a middle aged woman filing her nails.

‘Hi, Ms?’

‘Hello’ She puts her things away and turns to the computer. ’Have you got a booking today?’

‘Yes. Misters Kinney and Taylor’

‘Let’s see’  She says, typing ‘Ah yes. Here you are. The account is already paid in full. Ok. You need to go back out the door, turn right, and follow the signs. Enjoy your walk’ she beams at them, and they each nod at her as they leave.

“We will, thank you” Brian says, returning her smile

The path itself was made from timber, and started to elevate by slow degrees as it made its way up into the canopy. Dense forest surrounded them on all sides.

They came to a section on the platform that was wider, and had a park bench for resting and taking in the view. Whip birds and lyre birds could be heard calling in the dense trees

Brian dug into his jacket pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, unfolded it, and sat down on the bench. Justin sat beside him.

‘Love is when you look into someone’s eyes and you see everything you’ll ever need’. I’m not exactly the poster boy for love, but you give me everything I’ve ever needed’ Brian said quietly

‘Brian…’

‘Shh. Just sit. Just be with me’ he grabs Justin’s hand and rests them on his thigh. They sat in silence a while, just listening to the birds. Justin rested his head on Brian’s shoulder

‘This is exactly what we needed’ He sighed

A hetro couple slowly walked past and saw Brian siting there with Justin, made the obvious assumption, and kept walking.

The sky was starting to darken, and Justin looked at his watch.

‘We should probably get going. I’m getting eaten by bugs here’

‘Mozzies’

‘Huh?’

‘The Australian’s call them Mozzies’

‘Oh’

They untangled, stood and both groaned as their backs cracked

‘We must have lost track of time’

When they got back to the reception desk, the woman was just locking up. She saw them approach and laughed.

‘You must have enjoyed your day’

‘We got…distracted...by the beauty’

‘Just be careful. Not all blokes are as tolerant of…’

‘Gays?’

‘Right. Enjoy your holiday’ she heads off to her car

‘Ms?’

She turns back ‘Claire’

‘Claire. Thanks for the advice. Back home…’

‘Justin’

“It’s ok. I don’t mind telling people hon. Claire. Back home I was nearly killed by a student I went to school with. I would have been if it hadn’t been for Brian. We know about homophobes. They’re all over the planet’

‘Just please be careful, both of you’ she hesitates a second ‘My gay son WAS killed’ She walks off and gets into her car

Brian looks at an open mouthed Justin and pulls him into a hug

‘Oh Jesus.’ Brian pulled out his phone, called a cab, and they waited 30 mins until it arrived.

Back in the hotel, Justin sat shirtless on the bed, and Brian was cleaning his teeth

‘Poor Claire. I had no idea. We should send her something. Make a donation to her account or something’

‘Charity isn’t going to bring her son back Justin’

‘No, I know that, but it could let her know there’s someone to support her’

Brian shed his shirt and pants and crawled onto the bed, lying on his stomach. Justin flopped onto his back, and they looked at each other.

Justin closes his eyes, and Brian leans over to kiss his eyelids.

‘Sunshine’s always seeing the best in people. That’s what I love about you’

Brian began lightly kissing pleasure points on Justin’s face. Nose, ear lobes, lips, worked his way down to chin, throat, collarbone. Justin’s chest rising and falling with each slow breath.

Brian found his nipple ring and tugged lightly with his teeth. Earning him a sharp intake of breath from Justin.

‘You’re seriously horny right now?’

‘I’m always horny’, he moves to the other nipple and traces it with his tongue.

Brian interlocked his fingers with Justin’s

Moving downwards over his sternum he left cool wet trails as he went. He reached the top of Justin’s pants and stopped.

‘Why are you still wearing clothes? Strip’

Justin didn’t respond, didn’t move at all. Brian looked up and realized he’d fallen asleep. Brian sighed and crawls back up to cuddle into his side

Justin was dreaming. But he didn’t know he was dreaming. They were at the prom; he and Brian had just stunned the rest of the students with a romantic waltz that ended in Brian dip kissing him in front of everyone. Next thing he knew he was being led out by his hand to the garage, where Brian spun him around, laughing and singing until he pinned Justin up against the jeep for a deep kiss

‘Did you see their faces?!’

‘I did’

‘It was amazing!’

‘I prefer to think of it as Ridiculously Romantic’ 

‘Will I see you again?’

Brian grins and nods, and as they part, their fingertips linger. As Brian climbs into the driver’s side, he watches Justin walking back to the venue. But in the corner of his rear view appears a man wielding a baseball bat ready to swing. Brian calls out, but is too late as the bat connects with his head, and he’s knocked to the ground.

He was aware of Brian fighting off someone, and then kneeling next to him. But then his world went black.

When he ‘woke’ it was to beeping and tubes and wires all over him, and a hand shaking his shoulder.

‘Justin! Wake up baby, c’mon now’

The hand that was shaking him was actually Brian’s arms holding him close to his body and restricting Justin’s thrashing.

‘Calm down sunshine. You’re safe’

Justin did settle once he realized he was awake, and was in fact safe

‘What the fuck was that about?’

‘Did I say anything’

‘No. Just mumbling’

‘I’m sorry. It was when Hobbs bashed me’

‘Again?’

Justin nodded

‘I thought you didn’t dream about that anymore’

‘I guess Claire’s story triggered it’ Justin began to sing quietly. A thing Brian had noticed he was starting to do a lot lately. Mostly when he thought Brian couldn’t hear him. But other times he sung for them both. He wasn’t bad either

Shake me down, not a lot of people left around

Who knows now? Softly laying on the ground

Ooh not a lot of people left around ooh ooh

In my life I have seen people walk into the sea

Just to find memories plagued by constant misery

Their eyes cast down, fixed upon the ground

Their eyes cast down

I'll keep my eyes fixed on the sun

This particular song Brian didn’t recognize, but he’d heard it a couple times now. It was nice, and he was content to just lay there and let him sing 

Shake me down, cut my hair on a silver cloud

Broken sound, softly laying on the ground

Ooh not a lot of people left around ooh ooh

Brian began to stroke Justin’s hair and rub his arms

In my past, bittersweet, there's no love between the sheets

Taste the blood, broken dreams, lonely times in deed

With eyes cast down, fixed upon the ground, with eyes cast down

I'll keep my eyes fixed on the sun

The singing was a comfort to them both.

‘What time is it?’

Brian glanced at his watch ‘3am’

‘I’m sorry I woke you’

‘Don’t be silly’ they shifted so Brian was spooning Justin, and he pulled him in as tight as he could.

They drifted off, and didn’t wake again until 8.

Justin, re-energized from the morning love making in the shower, was buzzing.

‘What you got planned today? It’s Tuesday. Got any more little notes of endearment?’

Brian laughed.

 ‘You’re in a good mood’

‘Shouldn’t I be? We’re in Australia! And I’m with the man I love. Can’t get any better than this’

‘Today…’ Brian pulled out a little note he had in his hand, and slow walked towards Justin as he spoke.

‘Today. I love you more than yesterday, I plan to spend the rest of my days, protecting you, loving you, and showing you just how special you are to me. From the moment you walked into my life. You have brought sunshine into my world. I may not always show it. But baby, know it’s always there’

Justin swooned, and Brian caught him in a dip kiss.

‘Today we are going horse riding down on the beach’

‘Horse riding?’

‘Ever been?’

‘No’

‘It’s simple. They’ll put you on the right horse, so you’ll feel safe’

‘I’m not scared. I’ve just never been.’

‘But first, we need to eat. Put the old pants you packed on, and a t-shirt’

***

The men chose pancakes with lemon and sugar for breakfast, then a black coffee each, before setting out and hailing a cab at the front of the hotel.

It took 45 minutes to reach the ranch. As they drove up the long dirt road to the main building, there were horses in the front paddocks. Some grazing, some lying down.

And much to Justin’s delight and surprise, a male peacock was strutting round the ground with its tail fully raised, and a pea hen, close by.

They even spotted a sign that gave directions to

‘The Dingo’s den’ and ‘The Wallaby’s house’

‘Brian! Look. They have Dingos!’

‘I think we have to go to the admin office first, before we ride. We can see the wildlife after’

The receptionist was friendly, asking had they had much experience riding before.

Brian said he’d been a few times when he was younger, but hadn’t ridden in a few years.

‘I can canter if it’s required, but walking is fine. I can trot as well.’

‘And Mr Taylor?’

‘I’ve never ridden’

‘Ok. The strappers will pair you with the right temperament horse. Just tell them you’ve never ridden, and they’ll saddle the best one for you’

‘Uh, my boyfriend…’ The woman rose her eyebrows ‘Would like to visit the Dingos and the kangaroos? Where do we pay for that?’

‘Oh, you can do that here, that’s fine. You can pay upfront in cash or card.’

Brian finalized the admission to the enclosure. They’d go after the ride.

‘Head out through that door,’ she pointed behind her ‘and to the right. You’ll need to wait at the gate for them to let you in. Enjoy the ride guys’

Brian and Justin walked hand in hand out through the park, and approached the stables. They could see a lot of horses in stalls, but there were just as many in the paddock behind.

Brian led Justin over to a grey one that had its head over the stable window, extended his hand, palm down and closed fist, to let the animal sniff him, before stroking it on the nose. Justin followed his example and the horse snorted, but let him touch.

‘Wonder which one will be mine’

Brian leant in and nuzzled Justin’s neck ‘I know who will be my rider later…’

Justin grinned. ‘Come on…jockey. Let’s go’

They stood at the gate for about 10 minutes while the strappers got the horses ready on front of them.

Six horses they were preparing for them and another couple that were also waiting. So that meant they had 2 guides accompanying them.

‘Good morning everyone, 4 people riding today?’ All 4 people nodded ‘Ok, well we are

Ready for you now, so come through, select a helmet, and stand over there. The horses will be brought over. Who’s Mr Taylor?’

‘That’s me’

‘This is your first time riding?’

‘Yeah’

‘No problems. You have Mabel today. She’s very gentle. Mr Kinney?’

‘Me’

‘You have ridden before?’

‘Yes’

‘You have Angel. He’s a gentle giant’

The guide assigned the other riders with their respective mounts, and they all got up in the saddles. Justin was taught how to hold the reins, and how to go up and down hill.

As they began walking the trail, the guide that was bringing up the rear behind Justin, called.

‘You guys are from the states?’

‘Yeah. We’re here on holiday’

‘How long you are here for?’

‘3 weeks. We just arrived last weekend’

‘I’d love to go to the States.  Where you from?’

‘Pennsylvania originally, but we spend a lot of time at our country house as well’

‘Wow, you own multiple properties?’

‘Brian does’

Brian called from in front of Justin. ‘We BOTH do’

The guide laughed ‘what do you do…point your toes up higher sweetie’

Justin adjusts his position. ‘Brian’s in advertising. He has his own company, I’m an artist’

‘And you’re together right? I mean you guys are…’

‘We’re gay, yes. Brian’s my partner’

‘Hey, that’s cool’

The ride went for 50 minutes, and as they approached the stables again, the guides gave directions how to line the horses up in a row before they dismounted.

Justin’s legs feeling rather strange and wobbly, after having spent nearly an hour in the saddle, Brian had to steady him when he first dismounted.

‘Have fun sunshine?’

‘It was awesome, but my legs feel like jello!’

‘They will for a couple hours. You’ll feel it more tomorrow’

They thanked the guides, and made their way back to the Dingo Park, and spent about 15 minutes watching them play. They then moved on to go see the little wallabies. Brian in the process had called for a taxi to come collect them. And to call him when it got there.

Chapter 3

Week two. They’d landed in the NT, and were ready for the next week of their journey. Brian was already excited about it. They were going to the red center. The heart of Australia. Uluru. Or Ayres Rock, as it was more commonly known to tourists. Then Simpson’s gap and the Olgas were also on the list. It was going to be a busy week. He’d also booked to see some open houses that were all underground in Coober Pedy.

‘Justin, why don’t you go order us a coffee, I just need to pee’

‘Sure’ He leant in and gave him a quick peck on the cheek, and walked off. He didn’t need to pee. He actually doubled back, and went into a jewelry store and straight up to the counter.

‘Hi. Can you show me your Opals” He asked the sales assistant  “I’ve only got  a few minutes’

‘Of course. They’re over here’ She led Brian over to a glass cabinet with various earrings, bracelets and rings  set out

‘I’m looking for a bracelet for my partner. We’re on holiday. I want them to have a reminder of our time here’

‘Opals are a lovely choice. I’m sure she’ll love whatever you choose’ The assistant smiled

He glanced sideways at her. ‘What about that one. Can you show me please?’

She pulled out the sterling silver Bracelet with a single line of black opals. It was pricy, but he could afford it.

‘It has adjustable links here’ she pointed them out ‘so if she’s got a smaller wrist, a link or two can be removed. It also comes with a couple additional links, if it needs to be made bigger’

‘I’ll take it thanks’

‘Excellent. Do you need a gift receipt?’

‘No. Regular one is fine’

‘She’s a lucky woman, you have good taste’ the sales assistant tried to flutter her eyebrows as she packaged the bracelet in a box.  As the sale was completed Brian turns and smiles at her.

‘Sorry, I’m gay. Thanks for the bracelet’ Brian walks out knowing the stunned woman was staring after him.

Brian hid the small package in his jacket pocket, discarding the bag on the way past a bin, and found Justin sitting at a table with two young women already trying to moon over him. They looked up as he approached the table. Justin gave his brightest smile.

‘Hey honey, I’m back’

The girls looked at Brian

‘Hey sugar’ the girls looked back at Justin, and he grinned back at them. ‘Sorry girls. That’s my lover’

‘Come on Amber…Fags!’ the girls get up and storm off. Brian slides in beside Justin.

‘I leave you for’ he looks at his watch ‘8 minutes’

‘I admit it…I’ve gone straight’

Brian grabs Justin’s chin and plants a hard kiss on his lips.

The lady on the table continues to read her paper, but she speaks loud enough for them to hear.

‘You want to be careful Gentlemen. Save it for later. In private’

‘Pardon?’

She looks at them ‘Not a lot of men here are tolerant of” She hesitates for a second  “…your people. Tone it down’

They turn away from her.

‘Order the drinks, Sonnyboy?

‘Yeah’ as if on cue the waitress brings over the coffee, and sets it down in front of them with a smile.

‘Here you go, I hope you don’t mind my saying so, but those girls? They have a reputation here. They’re bad news. You’re not the first they’ve tried to rob. That’s what they do’

‘Thanks’

‘You guys are from America?’ they nod ‘Cool. Enjoy you holiday’

***

Back at the hotel, Brian and Justin were having a hard time keeping their hands off each other. They made it to the lift. And as soon as the doors closed, Brian shoved Justin against the wall. One hand went south to cup his growing erection. And the other hand cupped the back of his head to pull him in for a kiss. Justin’s arms wrapped round Brian’s waist, pulling him in tight. They both needed flesh on flesh. The sooner they got in their room the better. Justin groaned in Brian’s ear

‘I need you in me’ Brian pressed even tighter to Justin, making his own need crystal clear.

The lift slowed to a stop and the doors slid open. The two all but ran to the door. Brian fumbling with the key.

Getting the door open, they slammed and locked it behind them.

Cloths were off on record time, and they didn’t even bother going to the bed.

Justin fell to his knees and took Brian in his mouth in his entire length. Working his tongue skillfully it didn’t take long for Brian to go over the edge. But he was still hard and they needed MORE.

Justin moved to his hands and knees, and Brian moved in behind him.

‘I need to prepare you first’

‘No you don’t, just do it’

‘You sure…’

‘Brian!’

He only hesitated a moment, before lining himself up, and pushing in. They both shouted. Justin at the burn of being forced open and Brian for being in such a tight space. He just hovered over Justin’s back for a couple minutes panting. Justin tried to relax his muscles. He let his arms relax and he, with Brian on top of him, ended up flat on his stomach, the motion changing Brian’s angle, and they both grunted again

‘Brian move, please’

He half pulls out but slides back in slowly. Gradually the speed increased, and he began pushing Justin into the floor with force.

‘Oh God!’

‘Justin?’

‘Just keep going! Fuck me’

Brian was beginning to lose control. His body just NEEDED. His heart was beating out his chest. He was pushing Justin into the floor so hard he was sure they’d melt into it.

Brian linked fingers with his sunshine

‘I’m going to explode sunshine….I can’t….’

‘Do it!’

Brian gave one last push and let go with a throaty grunt

‘Brian…take me in your mouth…now!’

They shifted, and Brian sucked, once, twice, and Justin released, throwing his head back. His entire body shuddered with pleasure

‘Jesus Brian…’

‘I …know’

‘We should…probably…get up or at least… move to the bed’

‘Any second now’

‘I can’t feel my limbs’

‘Tell me something’

‘Mm?’

‘When we’re old, will you still…blow me?’

Justin laughs, and tries to push himself to sit up.

‘I keep telling you. You won’t get rid of me’ he narrows his eyebrows in thought. ‘Does that mean…’

‘I want you around. Forever’

‘You love me’

‘I do love you. In fact. I have something for you’

‘Brian I need at least 15 minutes…’

‘Not that’ He pushes himself up with some effort and walks over to pick up his jacket. Digs into the pocket and pulls out the small box. ‘On the bed’

Justin does so, and Brian sits on the bed beside him.

‘I know it’s not really my thing to hand out tokens. But I wanted you to have something to wear when we’re apart’

Justin gaped at the box, almost open mouthed. ‘You didn’t have…’

‘Shut up and open it already’ he hands him the box.

Slowly he opens the lid, and stops breathing. ‘Brian…oh my god!’

‘You like it?’

‘Like it? I love it!’

‘No too girly?’

‘No. Not at all. It’s perfect. But I haven’t got anything for you…and there’s no …occasion. I…’

‘Justin. There doesn’t have to be. But if there was. It’s you’

Brian removes the opals from the box, and fastens it around Justin’s left wrist

‘What do you mean?’

‘You have put up with so much shit from me ever since we met. I’ve pushed you away so many times, because I didn’t really know how to give out …feelings. But you stuck to me like super glue. I can’t foresee a future without you in it now. You’ve got me. For better or worse. This is my promise to you’

Slowly they kiss, and fall back on the bed. No need for physical love right now. They were happy to just lie in each other’s arms.

***

Next day, after breakfast was delivered to their room, Brian revealed where they were headed. It would take them a couple hours to reach their destination by tour bus. They would then be camping out overnight under the stars.

He read from a pamphlet ‘The Olgas’, also called Kata Tjuta. Meaning ‘many heads’, Kata Tjuta is sacred to the local Aboriginal Anangu people, who have inhabited the area for more than 22,000 years. It forms an important focus of their spiritual life’. There are photos here look’ 

They both leant over the small rectangle of paper.

‘It looks amazing’

‘Could you use something like this for your art? Be inspired by something other than my cock’

‘I can’t see why not. The colours look increasable. Hey what’s that bit?’ He pointed to another photo.

‘That’s Ayres rock. (Uluru) it says both Kata Tjuta and Uluru are part of the same sedimentary plate. It was formed thousands of years ago when the earth’s crust shifted, forming both rock formations that we see today’

‘So we better head off. We need to be gone and at the depot by nine’

***

3 hours later

The bus ride had been fun at first. But there was only so much open red earth and the occasional bush shrub you could look at before you started to dose off. But Brian had been right Justin thought. The colours were quite amazing, and he would definitely use them for inspiration in his art

The tour guide spoke up then, announcing that if they looked that way they can see Uluru starting to peak up over the horizon. A thin speck at first. But as they got closer, it occurred to them both just how monolithic this rock really was. They called it the heart of Australia. And they weren’t wrong. The guide continued to tell the story about it being sacred to the local indigenous people. And recent laws meant you could no longer climb the rock, but you could still walk around it. And to expect the walk to take no less than 3 hours if you were fit.

They set up their tent, which had been provided to them, and had toasted sandwiches cooked on a portable grill.

The guide once again laid down the laws, and mentioned, no photography was allowed.

So they set off, and began the long walk around a giant red rock

Brian and Justin walked hand in hand taking in the scenery. It really was beautiful. The rusty red colours of the rock, contrasted with the lighter golden sand below. The sparse greenery added a softness to the smooth edges of the landmark. And the weather was warm. About 37*C. They stopped at a section where there was an overhang, and from a distance, Justin pointed out the indigenous art that was thousands of years old. Outlines of hand prints and animals that resembled lizards, snakes and kangaroos. There were also human figures wielding spears and boomerangs being thrown at the animals. This was a story Justin realized. The ancient people were telling visitors how they lived off the land. How this had been their home. They were crude but beautiful at the same time.

He so wish he could take photos to immortalize this memory. Then, as if reading his mind, Brian spoke

‘You can paint this. You’ll remember it’

‘Oh I’ll be painting something’

They continued their walk, stopping occasionally to admire a sweeping curve, a changing colour,

By the time they got back to camp, the sun was starting to dip. It was about 4 in the afternoon, and they had to ‘freshen up’ before dinner was served.

They slid into their large tent, and pulled the privacy curtain closed. Zipping it to the bottom. There was barely enough room for Brian to stand, he had to bend over quite a bit, so he knelt instead.

Justin decided sitting down was better, and Brian followed suit.

Justin whispered ‘Can we possibly do this without everyone outside knowing about it?’

In answer, Brian pulled his love into his arms and claimed his mouth so deeply he pushed Justin on his back and laid over him. When Justin could speak he giggled, earning him a confused look.

‘Sorry. I just feel like we’re in a scene from Bro…’

‘Don’t! Ever compare me to a hypocritical gay cowboy’ they both laughed, then resumed kissing.

Brian pushed at Justin’s camos, and slid them down his hips. His beautiful boy, man, was going commando a lot more lately and his ‘soldier ‘ was already standing to full attention, leaking pre-cum.

Brian shifted and was on him in seconds. He tried to stifle his moans as Justin reflexively thrust up into his mouth, Justin slapping his own hand over his mouth and tried desperately not to make any nose either

Using his left hand, Brian grasped and lightly massaged Justin’s balls, while his right hand found its way under his butt and to his favorite hole in the world. Slowly he slid one finger in, moved it around a couple times, then slid it out and added a second finger. He found his target inside and rubbed his fingers over it again and again

Justin by this stage was finding it almost impossible to control his own body, and he shot a thick stream into Brain’s mouth. He couldn’t help but whimper into his hand. Brian reclaimed Justin’s mouth then kissed his forehead and jaw, before flopping beside him.

Outside someone called that dinner was ready. Come get it while it’s hot.

After pulling his pants back up, and straightening themselves back up, they unzipped the tent to find half a dozen pairs of amused eyes staring at them.

Brian grinned back at them as they stood, he knew exactly what they knew. Justin just wanted to disappear back into the tent. But the tight grip Brian had on his hand held him still. Brian leans into him and wghispers,

‘Guess we weren’t as quiet as we thought’

They ate fresh made damper with melted butter, boiled rice, and bush berries

Everyone sat round the campfire, quietly talking amongst themselves, when a young man tentatively approached Brian and Justin clearing his throat. They looked up at him.

‘Do you object if I sit next to you? I…I just sorta noticed, um…’ he lowers his voice to a whisper. ‘Are you …together? A couple?’

‘Sit down’ Justin said as he moved to sit between Brains legs. Brian wrapped his arms around Justin’s shoulders. A instinctive reflex to ‘protect’ his sunshine. The young man sits and offers his hand.

‘I’m Benjamin. But call me Ben’ ‘Hi’ Justin shook his hand ‘I’m Justin, this is my partner Brian’

‘I’m here on my own. My mum thought it would be good for me to get out and meet new people. So here I am…trying to …meet new people’

‘How old are you?’

’20. 21 next month’

‘there’s 12 years between Brian and i. I’m 27’

‘Oh so that makes you…’

‘Don’t go there kid’

‘Brian’s a little sensitive about his age’ Brian shifts his pelvis  making Justin catch his breath for a moment.

‘The truth is why I came over here, is cause I’m …’

‘Gay?’

‘Bi curious, actually’

Brian laughs. ‘And?’

‘Brian be nice’

Ben looks embarrassed and lowers his head. ‘ Sorry, I shouldn’t have disturbed you’ He goes to get up, but Justin puts a hand on his arm stilling him

‘Stay Ben, it’s fine. But you don’t know us’ Justin twists to look at Brian and gets a single nod.

‘Ben, we’re happy to help you out, but on one condition?’

Ben tilts his head in question

‘No strings. We help you, but it’s a one time only deal, yeah?’ He nods. ‘You sleeping in your own tent?’ again he nods. ‘After everyone has gone to bed, come to our tent. It’s that one there. We’ll wait for you, It’ll be cramped, but we can improvise, and you’ll need to go before sunrise’

The fire was dyeing and people were starting to yawn and head off to their respective tents. Ben had disappeared into his own about an hour ago. Possibly to mentally prepare himself for what he’s basically asked two strangers to do.  And to not cause suspicions amongst the other campers.

Brian and Justin were engaged in some clothed heavy petting and kissing when the zip on their tent started to rise, and then Ben’s face appeared through the flaps. He was glad it was dark, cause he didn’t want these men to see him blushing. Still there was enough moonlight to see how hot those two men were together. Even with cloths.

‘Get in and pull the zip down twit! It’s cold out there’

Justin detangled himself from Brian’s grip and sat up

‘Ben, you sure you’re ok with this? You don’t have to…’

‘No, …I ..I mean yes. It’s what I want’

‘No strings’

‘None’

‘Have you ever been touched by another man? Kissed?’

‘No. I mean I’ve been with girls, but…no’

‘We’ll start slow then’

In the cramped space, they maneuvered themselves, so be was between them, Brian in front, and Justin behind him. Justin put his hands on Ben’s hips and gripped the hem of his t-shirt. The touch made the young man flinch slightly. Not used to being in such an intimate situation with men.

Brian pulled his own shirt up over his head and cast it aside. Ben stared at him in awe. He obviously worked out. He wanted to touch, but wasn’t sure if he could yet, so he just settled for staring.

Justin lifted and pulled Ben’s shirt over his head and tossed it next to  Brian’s

An chin ran down Ben’s body body, and his heart rate picked up.

‘Relax Ben. This can stop if you want?’

‘No. Keep going, I’m ok. Just nervous’

Justin removed his own top, and pushed it behind him.

‘Brian and I are going to remove our pants, we’re already hard. Do you want to remove yours?’

While Brian and Justin took off their own pants, Ben started to unbuckle his jeans with shaky hands. He got the button and the zip down, but hesitated, Justin helped encourage him by placing his hands over Ben’s gently pushing.

‘How old were you when you uh…?’

‘I was 17 when I met Brian’

‘You’ve been together 10 years?’

‘On and off…here’ Justin helped Ben wriggle out his jeans. Now all three were nude.

Brian lay down on his back, and with the guidance of both men, Ben was guided down to take Brian in his mouth. He couldn’t take him all as he didn’t know how to suppress the gag reflex yet. But Brian was hot in his mouth. With his butt ibn the air, Justin started to stroke his fingers over Ben’s ass, applying gentle pressure each time the tip of his finger went over his hole.

‘Best thing you can do, is try to relax your muscles. It’ll hurt at first, but the more you relax, the better it gets.’

Ben released Brian to talk. ‘It hurt you the first time?’

‘It did. But Brian was gentle with me. Like I’ll be with you. But you’re not ready yet. Keep sucking’

Ben resumed his assault on Brian’s dick. Gaining more confidence, and trying to relax his throat, to take more in.

‘Ahhh!, watch the teeth Ben…’

‘sorry’ was mumbled with a mouth full of hot sausage

Justin pushed the tip of his finger in, resulting in a muffled ‘ow’ from Ben and Brian

Justin, looked at Brian and mouthed ‘Sorry’

He slowly pushed the rest of his finger in, and waited till Ben relaxed before pulling back out and then in again.

When he pulled his finger out the third time, he added another finger. Waited again till the muscles relaxed then stretched them out slightly. This time he got a quiet moan from both men.

‘That’s it, nice and relaxed. Now. I’m going to put a third finger in, then it’ll be me ok?

‘uh huh. Just go slow please’

‘Sunshine?’

‘Ya Brian?’

‘We don’t need a running commentary. Shut the fuck up and fuck him already

Justin removed his fingers, and squatted behind Ben. Leaning in to his ear he said

‘Don’t…make… a noise’

At the same time as Justin pushed in, Brian grabbed Ben’s head and clamped his mouth on his to muffle the yelp that came from him.

They both had to steady the man between them, as he squirmed and shook, Justin with his hands on Ben’s hips and Brian with hands on the shoulders

‘God! Does it always hurt?’

‘Little bit. But that’s part of it. Relax your body. Let Justin take over. Here, put your weight on me’

Ben let his arms relax a little too quickly, and he landed chest to chest with Brian, and all three ‘Oooofed’ at the change.

The angle change nearly brought Justin over the edge. Brian could tell

‘Ben, please don’t take this the wrong way, but kindly take your ass off my…boyfriend’

There was some quick shifting, and the second Brian’s mouth was around Justin he exploded. Justin collapsed on his back, and Brian eagerly lapped up every last drop, while Ben looked on in amazement.

Forgetting for a minute there was a third man in the tent, Brian slid up Justin’s body to claim his mouth.

Gripping a handful of his hair. Justin spread his legs and Brian was in to the hilt in seconds, 5 hard thrusts and he shook as he released into Justin’s body.

Ben left the tent at about 5am, and Brian and Justin curled up and clung to each other, not wanting any space between their skin

They woke to the smell of coffee wafting in through their tent, and found their stomachs grumbling.

Justin opened his eyes and Brian was looking at him with so much love and reverence, he raised his hand to stroke Brian’s jaw line.

‘Morning sunshine’

‘Mmm. Is it?’

‘How’d you like camping?’

‘The air mattress is flat. Don’t think it’s built to support 3 men’

‘Think we better make an appearance?’

‘Mm’ They both tried to sit and moaned from their sore muscles.

When they finally emerged from the tent, dressed. They were pleased no one stared at them. Guess this time no one heard their midnight party of 3.

They did spot Ben sitting in a fold up chair, huddled round a coffee. He looked up and saw Brian and Justin, nodded once, but made no attempt to call them over. Justin figured either he was respecting their ‘terms of agreement’ or he was too embarrassed to talk about it.  

Chapter 4

The guide had waited till everyone was gathered for breakfast before breaking down the day’s activities. First they would need to get their tents packed and loaded into the trailer then they would be making their way mid morning to the Olgas. Or as it was also known, Many heads,

So Brian and Justin took to dismantling their tent, and would occasionally brush hands or bump a shoulder. They heard someone clear their throat behind them, and both turned around to see Ben standing there, eyes cast down.

‘Ben, you ok?’

‘Uh, yeah. No I’m fine. I just wanted to thank you…for your kindness. I don’t think I …did. So uh, yeah. Bye’ he started to move off, but Justin put a hand on his arm. Turning him around

‘Ben’

‘Sorry. I…’ he looks up at them. Takes a breath. ‘I know what I am now. I respect your rules, but now I have a bigger problem’

Justin looks at Brian. Brian sighs.

‘We can’t do it again. Justin and I swore an oath to each other’

 ‘Oh! No. No I’m not asking for that.’  He lowers his voice to a whisper ‘My father is extremely homophobic, and so is my brother. I’m just scared that they’re going to find out’

‘Well Ben, do you think you’re gay?’

‘Not completely’

‘You’re bisexual. Listen. After next week, Brian and I are returning to the states, but we’ll give you our email address, and you can talk to us any time ok?’

‘That would be good. Thanks guys, I really appreciate it. I’ll go now’

‘Ben?’

‘Yeah?’

‘You’re gonna be ok’

Ben just looks at them a moment more, then heads back to taking down his tent

About an hour later, everyone was loaded into the coach, and they were on their way to the next landmark. Ben was sat a couple seats in front of them to the left. He was looking out the window and wringing his hands.  Quietly, Justin brought Brian’s attention to it. And took Brian’s hand in his own.

‘Should we do something?’

‘Like what? He’s not our family’

‘No, but he’s one of us…kind of’

‘Sunshine, while the notion of you wanting to help a young queen is admirable, what can we do that I going to make one bit of difference to how he deals with his own family’

‘Brian..’

‘You ARE my only family Justin. My parents are gone and I don’t talk to my sister.’ Justin smiled at that.

‘So let’s adopt him’

‘What?’

‘Let’s adopt Ben. He can be our…cousin’

‘Our Australian, no blood relations cousin? He’s not our responsibility. And I won’t risk you getting hurt’

‘We’re at risk every day Brian. I learnt how to deal with my dad, Hobbs, with every homophobe, all because of you. You made me the best homosexual I could be, remember?’

Ben glanced back over his shoulder at them, shaking his head ‘no’

Justin deflated.  Defeated.

And hour and a half later, they reached their destination. And before long they were setting up the tents again. But this time, Ben’s tent was a little closer to theirs.

They walked slowly through the rock formations, stopping regularly to study the rugged beauty. They chose a rock to sit on, and just sat in comfortable silence. Brian noticed with a degree of irritation, Ben, parking himself about 12 meters away from them on his own rock. He wasn’t watching them. He just wanted to be near them without crowding their privacy.

Justin felt Brian tense under his arm.

‘I think he’s just seeking reassurance. Far as he knows, we’re the only other gay people here’

‘It’s me and my shadow Justin.’

‘He’s scared, alone’

‘Becoming obsessive

‘At a venerable time in his life’

‘Fishing for another romp in the sleeping bag’

‘Brian, he’s scared. People group together when they’re scared’

‘How is it that every conversation we are having the last couple days revolves round a trick’

‘Fine. I’ll leave you by yourself for a while. But Brian? Keep this attitude up, and tonight you’ll be sleeping outside the tent’ Justin pushes himself up and walks off towards Ben. Brian scowled

‘I’m sorry Justin’

‘For what? He sits beside Ben on the rock

‘I didn’t mean for you to fight because of me’

‘We fight all the time. It’s not you. Relationships, even gay ones, take work. And it’s not always easy.

‘He doesn’t like me does he?’

Justin hesitates. How much to tell this man?

‘Brian’s…he doesn’t express affection easily. It took him 5 years to tell me he loves me. After I was nearly killed in an explosion no less. Took my nearly dyeing a second time for him to open up and tell me how he really felt’

‘you nearly died twice, and he didn’t tell you?’

‘The family he was raised by. They weren’t really the free loving kind. Took me a long time to get under his skin. But I wouldn’t give up. Does your dad love you?’

‘He does, he’s just very old school’

‘My dad couldn’t accept that I was gay. He left my mom because of it. Nearly killed Brian twice’

‘Can I ask a personal question Justin?’

‘Mmm’

‘How did you nearly die twice? Was it cause you’re gay? Justin sighs ‘You don’t have to answer if you’re not comfortable’

‘First time was when I was in high school. Our end of year Prom…Brian was my reluctant date, but he came anyway. We danced. Had the whole floor actually. And when we finished, he dip kissed me. In front of the entire class’ He smiles at the memory.

‘Sounds romantic’

‘Brian called it Ridiculously romantic’ Ben smiles. ‘Then we went to the carpark, out to his jeep’

‘And I kissed him’

Justin and Ben look up to see Brian had come over and was standing behind them

‘I turned around to head back to the hall, and Brian got in his car. Then next thing i remember is he called my name. So I turn…’ Justin closes his eyes, and Brian sits next to him. Takes his hand.

‘I called his name to warn him’

‘Warn him?’

‘One of my class mates. He was a homophobe, came up behind me with a baseball bat and connected with my head’

‘Holy shit!’

‘If it hadn’t been for Brian, I would have been dead. He saved my life’

Brian leant in and kissed him. Lightly at first, but the kiss deepened, and they forgot Ben for a moment

Ben shifted slightly and was about to get up, But Brian grabbed his leg.

They stopped the kiss and looked at him apologetically.

‘I was in a coma for a month and rehab for two weeks’

‘I visited every night’

‘But he didn’t want me knowing he was there, cause he wanted me to recover. Not because he was there, but because he wanted me to do it for me’

‘Cause you loved him right?’

‘Yeah’

‘What happened the second time?’

Justin looked at Brian. ‘You wanna take this one?’

‘I owned a gay night club. Someone planted a bomb. But I wasn’t there at the time. I was in a cab on my way to the airport. Headed to here Ironically. But Justin and my friends were all at the club when it happened. I heard about it on the radio. I told the cab driver to turn around, and when I arrived…it was a war zone. Eventually I found him inside. He was bruised and dirty but ok.’

‘We got outside, and after the paramedics checked us over, that’s when he said it. He told me. He said…’

‘I love you’

Been swooned. ‘I’m sorry you went through that guys. But you clearly do love each other’

Brian shifted so that Justin could sit between his legs.

“Justin was right. I have a difficult time with emotions sometimes. I don’t dislike you Ben’

He pulls Ben’s head to his and kisses him lightly.

‘I’ll discuss it with Sunshine, and maybe tonight we can ‘help’ you again’

They all chucle.  

‘Oh look!’ Ben pointed to their right. Over there. That’s a little rock wallaby’

‘Oh wow, Brian’

Brian squeezed Justin closer to him in a gesture of affection more then possession 

The three sat in silence for the next hour watching the wallaby’s graze

Dinner tonight was baked beans with spaghetti, and Brian and Justin had left about half of it.

Tomorrow the bus would be taking them back to the city, and they wanted to make this a night to remember. They didn’t care now that the rest of the campers had seen them together with Ben. It was really none of their business.

So Ben wasn’t secretive about it when he crawled into the tent for a second time, and straight into the embrace of Brian and Justin’s waiting arms.

They helped him strip, Justin crawled on top of Ben’s back, and entered slowly, then Brian was In Justin and setting up a pace that had them all over the edge within minutes. All three silently yelling as they collapsed in a heap

Ben stayed in the tent that night, and the three of them slept till 6an the next day. a tangle of limbs with Brian spooning Justin and Ben facing them both, with his hands and legs to himself.

The bus ride to the city took longer then they thought it would. By they got off, Justin needed to pee, and Brian stood outside with Ben

‘Thank you again for your kindness again Brian. He’s a very lucky man to have you’

‘No. I’m lucky to have him’

‘I wish you both a safe trip back home next weekend.’

‘Keep in touch with us Ben. Just be careful if and when you tell your dad. I suggest in public, with witnesses’

‘Hey, all done’ Justin grabbed Ben in a hug. ‘ Take care ok’

‘Thanks Justin’

48 hours later, they were landing in Sidney.

‘We’re not camping again are we?’ Justin unlocked the Room door.

‘No. Comfortable bed and a shower this time’

‘Good, cause I don’t think my back likes camping’

‘Tomorrow we’re going to an art gallery…’

‘Really?’

‘Thought you might like too’

‘Hmm, but right now I just want to shower. Join me?’

‘If it’s big enough, yeah’

The set aside they luggage and wonder into the Ensuite. It wasn’t big, but 2 people could stand in there and still move. They decided that just washing this time was sufficient without the attempt at love making, and dried off.

‘There’s also something else I have planned while we’re in Sidney’

‘Mmm?’

Brian gets a childlike grin ‘Mardi Gras!’

Justin laughs. ‘What?’

‘Apparently they host a great one here. Always wanted to come’

‘No you haven’t. Only since you fucked that Australian guy you brought home from Babylon’

Brian grabbed Justin round the waist with his left arm and grabbed his other hand with his right, and began a waltz around the room.

‘Ok, that parts true, but still. Save the best for last right?’ He dips Justin back and kisses him

***

The gallery was already swarming with people wondering from painting, to glass cabinet. Staring at priceless artwork, to stone age clay pots and taxidermy animals.

Brian read out aloud. ‘This is the heart of legendary racehorse, Phar Lap…’

‘Look at the size of his heart compared to a normal horses…’

‘Shortly after being brought to San Francisco, he was found poisoned’

They moved on to look at a stuffed lion and lioness, then looked at spears from the stone and bronze ages. They browsed at dinosaur remains, and then decided they needed some lunch.

They found the café, and ordered sandwiches and coffee.

When they’d had enough of the gallery, they moved onto shopping for cloths, and souvenirs to bring back for everyone.

XXX

The festival had been full of colour loud music, and more feathers and glitter then in Emmet’s wardrobe

Now at the beach, the famous Bondi beach, the sun was setting and they sat on the sand. Their fingers were interlocked and they leaned against each other’

“can’t believe we’re going home in 2 days. This has been a truly amazing experience. I’m not gona forget this Brian. Never’

‘What’s been the best for you?’

‘The camel ride was pretty awesome. And Ayres rock’

‘We broke out oath’

‘We did?’

‘Never the same person more then once’

‘Oh. Yeah I guess we did’

‘So?’

“So, we move forward, and I guess we…’

‘Justin I love you. And I don’t ever want us to wonder if the other is out messing around. I’ve been thinking. I want you around forever. I want you safe. So I’m willing to make you a new oath.’

‘Okay….’

‘I’m getting older and I don’t want to mess around anymore. I’m willing to put my past behind me, and make a commitment to you. I will no longer sleep with anyone except you. I will always let you know where I am, and when I will be home’

‘Brian’

‘No. I love you. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you’

‘Brian, are you drunk?’

‘No…Little bit. But not enough to not mean it Sunshine’

Justin rests his head on Brian’s shoulder and watches the sun as it finally drops below the horizon.

‘Ok. Brian. I swear to you the same. We are a committed monogamous couple here on out. No more tricks’

‘No more tricks’

They returned to the hotel, had some dinner. A roast beef with Vegetables, and settled in the room for the night. They made love a couple times, before falling asleep.

Brian woke to find himself alone in the bed. He sat up, finding a note had been placed on Justin’s pillow.

-Back soon, I promise. Just out for a little while- Where the hell did he go?

Justin was beaming at the store assistant as she pulled out trays of gold and silver bands.

‘And I can take these today? We’re flying back home in a couple days’

‘These designs are relatively simple, there’s no stones to have to set, so yes, we can sell them to you, and you can take them today’

‘Right now?’

‘Yes of course’

‘Perfect’

The assistant rung up the sale, and Justin thanked her for the help. He was so excited. Hoped Brian wouldn’t be too mad that he’d ducked out early. He really felt this was the right time for them. Yes Brian had asked him a couple years ago. But they’d decided that they weren’t as ready as they thought.

But now…now they were.

He was going to do it on the plane, was going to ask. But what would he say now. Why  had he abruptly darted out?

He pushed the box in his jacket pocket, opened the door, and was pounced on, caught in a bear hug. He barely closed the door as he was being stripped of his jacket. He got shoved against the door, and his pants were pushed down, and his dick in a hot mouth in about 8 seconds. Justin’s hands buried themselves in Brian’s hair, assisting, but not forcing.

Brian was deep throating fast. And it didn’t take long for Justin to harden, as the blood rushed south

‘Oh Jesus! Brian…’

Brian released him barely long enough to speak

‘Don’t come’’

‘I may not have a choice in that’

Brian resumed his assault of Justin with his tongue, running his hands up and down the insides of his thighs, and coming teasingly close to his balls, but never touching.

Speaking with a mouth full,

‘Where did you go?’

‘Uh…Out for …a smoke’ He had actually had one outside, to calm his nervs.

The tip of Brian’s finger touched his hole like a feather, making him shiver

‘I would have joined you’

‘I know, but you…looked…comfortable’

Brian pushed the tip of his finger in and paused, he looked up into half closed eyes, removed his mouth, and his finger, Stopped touching all together.

‘Turn around’ Face the door’

With pants still round his ankles, Justin shuffled around, and presented his rear to Brian. He sighed in pleasure as Brian’s tongue started to dip in and out. And warm hands parted his butt cheeks for better access.

‘Brian please, use your fingers or your dick, just help me out here’

Brian stood, helped Justin step out his pants, and for the first time Justin noticed Brian was naked, he dragged his blonde to the bed, lay down on his back, and got Justin to straddle his chest, JHe was sat at an angle to allow Brian access to his ass, while at the same time being able to take him in his mouth again. He didn’t hesitate this time,  he slid in three fingers, and when his fingers slid in each time, his mouth would come to the tip of Justin, and vise versa. He set a rhythm, that had Justin verging on a cliffs edge of pleasure. He couldn’t speak, just sigh and moan. Then using a cue they’d learnt together, Brian angled his fingers, relaxed his throat his beautiful boy erupted.

Chapter 5

‘I can’t believe how fast that went’

‘We’ll go other places sunshine’

‘Yeah I know. But before we leave here. There’s just one last thing I need to do’

‘I don’t think we have time to…’

Justin began to serenade Brian who was sitting on the edge of the bed. He got the small box out his jacket, and knelt on one knee in front of Brian who was now looking a little confused.

‘Brian. What you told me down on the beach, said a lot to me. It was honest, and open and I know that’s not easy for you. I knew then the time was right. So now I’m asking you. Mr Brian Kinney. Will you marry me?’

***

‘Ladies and gentlemen, we are currently experiencing some technical difficulties. Please try to remain calm and in your seats, and we will have this issue resolved shortly’

Justin’s hand was gripping Brian’s with a vice like grip. The plane was shuddering violently, and other passengers were starting to panic around them. American Airline had a good reputation. This shouldn’t be happening. Justin was trying not to hyperventilate and Brian noticed.

Suddenly the plane’s nose dipped and everyone who wasn’t seated was thrown forward

Something hit the back of Brian’s head as it flew forward, and he was knocked unconscious.

‘Brian!’

A stewardess who’d been strapped into her seat, picked up the ringing intercom

‘Anna speaking’

‘Anna”, prepare the passengers we’re going to crash land’

‘Copy that captain’

Carefully she unbuckled her belt and used whatever she could to steady herself ‘Ladies and gentlemen…’

She ran through all the safety procedures, but Justin was pre occupied with a limp Brian strapped in his seat. Trying to rouse him, he shook him by the shoulders

‘Brian, please wake up! Somebody please, help him’

The plain jolted again and started to dip to the right.

‘Brian! Wake up god dammit! I’m not gonna die alone!’

The pilots got the plane back level for a moment, but the nose was still dipping and the engines were getting louder.

The oxygen masks dropped from the roof then and without looking, Justin snatched one and placed it over Brian’s face. It seemed to help, because Brian’s eyes began to flutter open. Justin pulled him in close as best as he could and held on tight. Tears started falling.

‘I love you’

‘Justin You’re not going to die. Neither of us are, ok?’

Moments later the plane started to clip the tree canopy at 250 mph, and didn’t slow down.

Then everything went black.

***

Justin woke first. He’d been laying badly on his arm, and as he moved, a pain shot up from his wrist to his left shoulder There was an acrid stench in the air. Chaos was all around, a small fire was burning nearby, people were screaming, and scrambling around the wreck. Petrol was leaking in a steady stream just to his right. He knew he had to move then, before the fire reached the petrol.

Managing to push himself to his feet, he half stumbled, half walked away from the plane. Smoke was stinging his eyes, and he wanted to vomit. It occurred to him then, Brian hadn’t been near him. Somehow, despite having been strapped in their chairs, He was no where to be found.

He heard a voice somewhere shouting, but his ears were blocked, and he couldn’t make it out.

So he kept walking. He just needed to get far away as possible and lay back down.

Brian saw Justin walking away, and tried to call out again, but started coughing. He cleared his throat once, and shouted as loud as he could

‘SUNSHINE!!!!!!’

That time Justin heard him, he spun too fast, and lost his balance, fell to his knees, vomited, and pushed himself up again with his good arm. A passing passenger tried to stop him returning to the wreck, but he shoved them away. The heat was oppressive,

‘Are you hurt?’

‘My leg, I’m bleeding’ Justin looked down and saw a large gash in his thigh. Brian was trying to apply pressure, but his hand was already covered with his blood

‘Oh god Brian! SOMEBODY, PLEASE HELP US!’ Justin got behind Brian and tried to pull him back under his arms. Doing his best to ignore his own pain. But he couldn’t. He collapsed under Brian’s weight, and rolled him to his side so he could face him. Brian pulled him into an embrace, and kissed him.

‘Sunshine. I want you to find someone who loves you’

‘Brian stop! You’re not going to die’

‘I’ve lost a lot of blood. There ain’t much more in me left. So shut up and listen. I love you. I always have. Even if I never said it as often as I should’

Justin looked around them in desperation

‘SOMEBODY HELP US!!’

A large black man who happened to be passing, paused and looked over his shoulder, Justin pleaded with his eyes. The man came back and crouched at Brian’s head.

‘Get his legs’

‘Gentle, he’s lost a lot of blood’

‘You family?’

Brian Groaned, “The fuck is it to you?’ he felt cold and dizzy

‘We’re partners. Lovers’ Justin offered. The man looked disapprovingly at them both but put his hands under  Brian’s shoulders, and lifted. Justin lifting his legs.

They got so far away from the plane, before Brian was begging to be laid down. Soon as he was on the ground, the man left.

‘Sunshine’, Brian closed his eyes ‘I love you’ then he went very still. He was still breathing, but barely

Justin curled into his side and held his hand.

When he woke, he was in a hospital bed.

A woman with an American accent spoke to him and he turned to look at her.

‘Do you know who you are?’

‘J, Justin. Taylor Kinney’

“Justin, you’re in the ICU in hospital. You were involved in …’

‘I know. Where’s Brian?’ he tried to sit up, but she pushed him down gently

‘Brian Kinney?’

‘Yes. Is he ok? He lost a lot of blood’

‘Are you…’

‘Yes! We’re family!’

‘Mr Kinney is in a coma sir. We were able to get a blood transfusion, but he’s in an induced coma’

‘Well I need to see him’

‘Sir, you need to remain calm. He’s in good care right now. Is there anything you can tell us about his medical history?‘

‘I will tell you when I’m allowed to see him’

The nurse sighed.

‘The femoral artery was avoided fortunately. Despite loosing a lot of blood he was lucky. It means major surgery could be avoided, but he will need time to recover from serious injury. He’ll walk, but strenuous activity should be avoided. Mr Taylor, Mr Kinney has suffered some head trauma’ Justin remembered the thing hitting the back of his head. ‘This may have consequences. What they will be remains to be seen. It might affect his balance or it could impact his short term memory. Those tests will have to be done when he wakes  I know you’re anxious to see him, but we have protocol here. I can’t let you in to see him without authorization from the Doctor Justin, I’m sorry. I know this is traumatic for you’

‘Well get the doctor’ he stares at her intently.

20 minutes later, a balding grey haired man came in to see Justin.

‘Mr Taylor?’

‘Taylor-Kinney, yes’

He looks at the notes on his clip board.

‘Says here you are Brian Kinney’s partner’

‘Yes’

‘The nurse has informed you of the condition your …partner is in?

‘YES’

‘And you wish to be transferred to his room?’

‘YES!, look, all I have is a broken wrist. I don’t need to be in bed. What I NEED is to be with my fiancé!’

‘My Taylor, please calm down. The nurse has already told you he’s in a stable condition.’

‘So then why can’t I see him? Please! I need to be with him’

‘I’m sorry. Not yet’

‘Doctor…’

‘NOT yet’

The doctor ushered the nurse away and followed her out. Justin slumped on his bed. He was gonna see Brian, whatever it took.

***

Brian was dreaming, either that or he was very high on drugs. But he didn’t recall taking any. He was on a beach, the waves were slowly lapping at his bare feet as he walked along the sand. And in the distance he could see …what he thought looked like a beached dolphin, slapping it’s fluke on the sand. He began to run, in slow motion, towards the stranded animal. But as he drew nearer, he realized it wasn’t a dolphin. It had the back end of a fish, but the front was…Oh holy god! Now he KNEW he was high. In front of him, smiling from ear to ear was his sunshine, a merman! -Wake up Kinney! You’re insane-  The …Justin kept smiling at him, and rolled onto his back. Then Brian took a closer look at the …tail, and it wasn’t like a dolphin, but rather was a beautiful metallic silver grey black pattern, with forked tips at the end. – Wake UP Kinney!!-

What the hell kinds drugs are you on?!- Brian knelt down beside the creature, and it sat up. It put it’s hand round the back of Brian’s neck, and Pulled him in for a kiss. –Wake the FUCK up  KINNEY!!-

***

The doctor that had come in an hour earlier returned with a smile on his face.

‘Mr Taylor’

‘Taylor-Kinney’

I have been discussing it with the staff in charge of looking after your fiancé’, and they have agreed to allow you to transferred to a private room with him. We believe if he knows you are near, it’ll shorten his recovery’

Justin walked with the Doctor and a nurse to where they had Brian. It was a small room, but it fit 2 beds close to each other. Brian was in the far bed, near the window, and there was a tub chair at the base of the bed for visitors, and one between the two beds. He had an I.V saline bag hooked to him, and a heart rate monitor.

‘Have a seat Justin. Talk to him. He can hear you’ The doctor retreats quietly and closes the door behind him.

***

‘Hello Brian’ The merman says. ‘I’m here now’

‘What?’

‘You’re gonna be ok. But you got to come back to me’

‘But, I can’t swim that far’

‘Open your eyes, and come back to me’

Brian looked down at his hands, they felt suddenly hot. But there was nothing on them

***

Justin held Brian’s right hand in his, as he sat in the chair, stroking the back of it with his thumb.

‘Where are you baby? Come back to me’

Justin sat for hours just holding Brian’s hand, until his bladder insisted he get up and  move. Reluctantly he let his hand drop, and pushed himself up, wondered into the attached ‘Ensuite’ and relieved himself before returning to Brian’s side.

There was a knock on the door, and a short young blonde PCA walked in with a tray of food and a coffee.

‘Evening Mr Taylor. I’m Maree. Just bringing you some dinner. How are you both?’

Justin didn’t even look at her

‘My fiancé is in a coma Maree. I’m not hungry. Please leave us’

‘Mr Taylor, I understand you’re upset, but can I offer some advice?’

‘Mm’

‘It’s my job to look after my patients, and I will do that with respect and professionally. But as a person, I can tell you he wouldn’t want you to not keep up your strength. He’s going to need you when he wakes. And you can’t do that if you don’t’ eat’ she leaves the room quietly.

Justin finally gave into fatigue around 10pm, and he crawled  into the adjacent bed. Wanting so badly to cuddle into Brian’s side.

At least he was in the same room.

He woke the following morning to sun streaming in on his eyes, and he raised his hand to shield them,

‘Good morning Mr Taylor’

Justin squinted and looked to his left. The nurse was giving Brian a sponge bath and had the sheets pulled down, just covering his crotch.

‘Your fiancé’ is doing well. The Doctor informed me he intends to wake him from the induced coma today. You’ll be pleased to hear. He may need to be kept on a mild sedative and painkillers however. Also the Dr said the NTSB or someone like them are interviewing survivors. Are you feeling up to that?’

‘I just woke up! My head and my arm hurt, and you’re sponging my naked fiancé’

‘Yes… My apologies’

‘Just do it and leave please’

‘I’m sorry,  sir’

She finished cleaning Brian down, taking extra care round his damaged thigh, changed the dressing, and covered him back up. She noded at Justin once, then wheeled her supplies out the room. Justin sighed and looked at Brian sleeping.

***

‘I’ve never kissed a fish’ Brian giggled at how ridiculous that sounded.

‘I’m not a fish. I’m a merman. And you’re high on drugs. This isn’t real Brian’

‘But you feel real’

‘Of course I feel real, but I’m not. You’re dreaming and you need to wake up’

‘What if I don’t want to?’

‘Then you’re leaving the only person in your life who’s ever loved you, to live alone. Without you.’

‘I would never do that!’

‘Then wake up!’

The air around them started to shift strangely, like it was being sucked into something. And a beeping was coming from nowhere.

***

‘Brian? Can you hear me? Come back to me love. I’m right here’

Justin was holding Brian’s hand, as two doctors and a nurse were hovering over Brian and the new I.V bag.

His eyelids twitched, and so did his fingers.

***

The sky, sea and sand continued to get sucked into nothingness. Replaced by a black void that was growing around him. No, he didn’t want to leave this paradise. But it kept melting away faster and faster, till there was just blackness and white noise. Noise that faded into a familiar voice, calling to him.

***

‘He’s coming round. That’s a response to stimuli. Mr. Taylor, keep talking to him’

‘Brian. Come on. You can do this. I’m waiting for you…’ Justin looked up at the Doctors, hesitated, but then thought, screw them. ‘Brian, I want to take you home and let you fuck me’

The doctors narrowed their eyes, and the nurse took a sharp breath.

Brian’s eyes snapped open

‘Sunshine!’

‘Oh my god Brian!  Baby’ He leans over and kisses Brian firmly on the lips, not caring who was in the room. He peppered kisses all over his face, then remembered he had to breathe.

‘Justin,’

‘Shh, it’s ok’ he looked at the Doctors and the nurse, narrowed his eyes. ‘Leave us’

‘Mr. Taylor…’

‘MOVE’

‘Let’s give these men some alone time, shall we. Mr Taylor, Mr Kinney, we will be back later’

All three left, but as the nurse was the last out, she pulled the curtain over, so they had more privacy from the outside hallway

‘Justin,‘ Brian noticed the cast on Justin’s arm, and reached across to touch it. ‘Does it hurt?’

‘Little bit. Not as much as it did when they realigned it’

‘How long till it heals?’

‘They said about 6 weeks. I can’t get It wet’

‘We’ll have to take more baths then’ Justin smiled at that.

‘You can’t get your dressing wet either’

‘You mean?’

‘I bath while you sponge’

Brian groaned, ‘Why did you wake me up then’ they both laughed

Chapter 6

3 weeks later, and Brian and Justin were back home. They’d had countless phone calls from friends wanting to help, and from the investigators of the crash. Brian was about ready to throw the phone out the window.

He still walked with a slight limp, but the dressings were mostly off now. He just put a water proof one on, so he was able to wash. Justin’s cast was still on, but his arm didn’t hurt any more. He refused to let anyone ‘write on it’ He wasn’t a kid showing off. He was a victim of an unfortunate incident, and hated bringing attention to it.

Brian was sitting on the couch in his dressing gown after a shower, Justin was trying to cut veggies for soup. And was fumbling a bit

Brian’s short term memory had been affected. He knew who his family and friends were, who was president. But he struggled remembering things that occurred within the last 2 hours.

‘Brian?’

‘Mmm?

‘Can you grab me the pan from the overhead cupboard? Put some water in, get it boiling’

Brian looked back over his shoulder at Justin ‘You sure?’

‘Why wouldn’t I be? I can’t hold a heavy pot of water properly’ He holds up his broken arm, and Brian gasps, leaps up and rushes over, carefully holding Justin’s arm in his hands, He sighed. Why did Brian forget this every time?

‘My wrist got broken Brian, It’s not your fault’ Brian was feeling the dark blue cast with his fingertips, like it fascinated him

‘Brian, the pot of water please’ it was like living with a child sometimes. He pulled his arm from Brian’s grasp and smiled

‘Right, water, pot

‘My arm doesn’t hurt. Not anymore’

‘What happened?’

‘You remember Brian. Think’

‘There was an accident?’

‘Yes Can you remember what kind?’

He looks thoughtful ‘A plane crash?

‘Yes. And we were hurt, but we’re ok now. You have short term memory loss’ and long term? he wondered

‘I do?’

‘Brian, pot of water please’

‘Oh’ He reached into the cupboard and retrieved a large pan, filled it with water, and set it on the stove. He came up behind Justin and wrapped his hands round his waist. ‘I remember you’

Course you do ‘ I know honey’

Brian’s hands started to travel south and stop at Justin’s hips, pulling them back towards him. – course you remember being a horny queer – Justin laughed in his head ‘Brian, not now, I have to make dinner’ Brian nuzzled into his neck and licked

‘You like this’

‘Ya, I do, but not when I’m trying to cook’ Brian ground his hips in tighter and Justin moaned as he felt Brian through his pants. Over the last three weeks he’d realized arguing with a horny Brian didn’t work, He was always willing, hell he was a man, but sometimes he chose the oddest times to get a hard on.  Justine set down the knife and turned in Brian’s arms

’Seriously? You have a boner now? Aren’t you hungry?’

‘M’always hungry, for you’ Brian began  to work at the zip on Justin’s top pulling it down slowly to reveal he was bare chested underneath. His mouth found his left nipple first, and lightly bit, Justin took a sharp breath, he soothed the bite with licks, then moved to the other side and did the same.

Since they’d been in the accident, Brian had become more of a satyromaniac then normal.

‘Brian, no. Not now. Stop’

‘I need you’

‘I know, but not now. C’mon. Go sit back down, and we’ll do this afterwards ok’

Brian looked at him a moment longer, looked like a sorry puppy with big eyes and pouting. Justin sighed. Put a hand on the back of Brian’s neck and puled him in for a gentle kiss.

‘Brian, later’

Feeling rejected Brian walked from the kitchen and out to the deck, slumped in the chair

***

-Is It my fault I can’t seduce him anymore? Have I done something?- Brian lit a joint and inhaled. Seemed any time he tried to show any affection, he hit a wall with Justin. He shook his head, trying to clear the fog inside his brain. He felt a headache approaching.

Half an hour later Justin came out balancing two bowls on a tray and set them on the table between the deck chairs.

‘I’m sorry Brian, I’m just not in the mood lately’

‘There’s always an excuse. Headache, you’re tired, Busy with work’ If Brian was honest with himself, he was getting pretty bad headaches of his own lately. And they seemed to get worse each time. He put his head in his hand, rubbing at his temple

‘Have you made an appointment to see the doctor like I suggested?’

‘For what?’

‘Your headaches Brian. And don’t’ tell me you aren’t getting them….i’ll come with you’

‘I’m not hungry either’

‘Brian why are we doing this? Why are we fighting?’

‘Because every time I try show you some fucking affection, you reject me!’ Brian stands and storms back indside

Justin sighed and finished his soup.

Some hours later, he systematically went round the house turning off lights and appliances, and went upstairs to the bedroom. Brian was already asleep with just a single sheet covering him.

He stripped off his shirt and pants, leaving his underwear on and slipped in beside Brian. But he turned his back to him, and curled up into a fetal ball. He buried his face in his pillow, and a couple tears fell from his eyes.

Justin woke a couple hours later to Brian moaning, he looked through blurry eyes at the time. 3am, then looke over his shoulder to see Brian sitting on the edge of the bed, and holding his head. He sits up, and puts a hand on Brian’s arm, only for it to be shoved off

‘Don’t touch me’ Brian went to stand, but seemed a bit unsteady. He put his hand out to grab something for support, but instead, went suddenly very pale, swayed, and collapsed with a thump on the floor

***

When he came too, he was in the back of an ambulance, and Justin by his side.

‘What happened?”

‘You passed out at home’

‘My head hurts’

‘Almost there Mr Kinney’

‘My head HURTS’

‘We’ll get you something for that’

‘Did I mention my fucking HEAD HURTS’

‘Medic?’

‘My Taylor, we’re doing everything we can till we arrive’

‘Brian, focus on me ok? Don’t think about anything but me’

Brian lost consciousness again. Justin was beginning to panic. ‘Medic?’

The medic pressed his pager. ‘Patient has lost consciousness again’ He felt Brian’s neck for a pulse . ‘Mr Taylor, has your boyfriend taken any illegal substances in the last 24 hours?’ Brian’s pause was a little fast, but not erratic

‘Illegal? No. He did smoke some weed before we went to bed’  the medic asks a few more questions about Brian’s medical history to which Justin revealed cancer about 5 years ago, but they’d got it all, and he was fine now. Then he explained the plane crash and head trauma, and memory issues, the headaches he knew Brian wasn’t telling him about.

Scans were done, and he was given (MEDICATION) for the pain, sent home, and told not to drink for the next 48 hours

About a week later, they were called in for the results.  Justin was pissed off about being called away from work, and sat in the waiting room, when Brian was called in.

‘So doc. What’s wrong with me?’

‘Maybe you should have Justin come in here and sit with you?’ the Doctor looked at him with a hint of concern in his eyes.

Brian stopped breathing and a chill ran down his spine. A minute later, Justin entered the room, and sat to Brian’s right.

‘Good morning Mr Taylor, Thank you for coming in on short notice. You both need to be here for this, I’m afraid. The results from your scans have come back Mr Kinney, and I’m afraid it’s not good news’

Brian reached for Justin’s hand, but he ignored it. Brian pulled it back and his heart sank. Justin wouldn’t even look at him.  The look on the doctor’s face spoke volumes’

‘How long have I got?

‘5 months with no treatment, 12 with Chemo and radiation therapy’’

Justin closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Willing the tears not to fall. And his heart not to shatter. He opened his eyes again when he felt Brian’s hand take his. But he pulled it free again. It didn’t escape the Doctor’s attention.

‘Mr’s Kinney and Taylor. We need to discuss your options and your decision. If you choose to stay in a respite treatment facility, where travel can be eliminated, and everything  is on hand for you. Or you can make twice weekly visits to the hospital for treatment .

***

Justin pushed the front door in and dumped his duffel on the floor, headed straight for a bottle of Whiskey and drank from the bottle.

Brian followed slowly behind

‘Why won’t you talk to me?’

‘Why?! Because I told you repeatedly to go see a fucking doctor about the headaches you never tell me about! And now? You have fucking BRAIN cancer Brian! You’re behaving exactly how you did first time you got sick. And you shut me out. I found out from the message on your phone, Remember? Did you think I wouldn’t figure it out again? That I wouldn’t care? We’re ENGAGED!’ As he said the last word, Justin threw the bottle across the room into the fireplace and it shattered. ‘ You own my heart Brian. And you…’

‘I’m sorry’

‘Get your ass in bed’

‘Justin…’

‘NOW!’ He lowered his voice to venom. ‘MOVE’

Brian looked like a child being told off. He actually felt a little fear. His sunshine was glaring daggers at him, and he rarely saw this side to Justin

Brian decided against arguing with him, and felt guilty. He dragged himself up to their bedroom, and flopped on his back. It’s not like Justin was wrong. He HAD been hiding the headaches.

Justin finally let the tears fall, and curled up on the couch, crying until his throat hurt.

It was lunch time before he moved again. He listened for any noises upstairs, but didn’t hear any, so he wondered up to their room and saw that Brian had drawn the blinds closed, and was laying sprawled on his stomach. Justin sat on the corner of the bed and started to unlace his boots. Then pulled them off. He felt Brian shifting but he didn’t look. Arms wrapped round his shoulders.

‘Justin, I truly am sorry. I never meant to hide it, I just didn’t want to drag you down with me’

‘That is probably the stupidest thing you’ve ever said to me’ he turns and faces Brian. ‘Why the hell would I run? I love you. I want to marry you, but you need to stop thinking I can’t handle this. I’m not 17 anymore Brian. I’m 27. I’m a grown man, who’s been through my own list of shit. But not once did you run with your tail between your legs, and neither will I’

Still holding Justin in the bear hug, Brian fell onto his back, taking his love down with him, so they lay in a chest to back half spoon.

‘I’m going to die sunshine. And I want you to help me decide when’ Justin untangled himself from Brian, and got of the bed angry again

‘I don’t WANT you to die Brian. Don’t you DARE ask me to tell you when’

Brian sat up. ‘You heard what the doctor said’

‘Yes. I heard what the Doctor said. 5 months Brian? I have 5 months to watch the only man I’ll ever love…fade away in front of me. 12 if we’re lucky’ Justin sat on the bed again, trying to calm himself.

‘How am I supposed to survive without you’ an idea occurs to him then, but he stays quiet

‘You will. You’ll move on, and find yourself a nice young queer who’ll love you as much as I do’

‘Brian that’s not gonna work’

‘What?’

‘Being mean and pushing me away. It’s never worked’ he breaks down, and Brian pulls him into the hug again’

‘Lets do the wedding while I still have the strength’

‘What?’

‘Doesn’t have to be some big fancy occasion. We could just get a civil celebrant. I want to die knowing you’re married’

***

A week later and Brian was driving with Justin to his first Chemo session.

The nurse was explaining that Brian would likely feel nauseous and might be sick. But he pointed out, this wasn’t his first rodeo with cancer. She smiled, and said she was sorry to hear it. She told him to lay on the bed and try and relax.

An hour later, Justin was rubbing his back as he vomited into a bed pan.

Everything hurt in Brian. From his head to his toes and he could hardly stand without wanting to be sick again

1 Month later

‘I can’t do this anymore Justin. The medication is making me feel worse’

‘But it’s helping fight the cancer. And it’s only been a month…’

‘Ok, then why don’t you try vomiting 24 hours a day, because the pain is so intense, it’s liquefying my brain!

’if you don’t you’ll be dead in 5 months!’

‘Yeah well I’d rather that then feel like this for however long I have left. Justin. Please. Let me die my way’

Justin curls into Brian’s side, and Brian wraps his arm around him.

‘I’m not ready to say good bye’

‘Sunshine, what they bury in 12 months won’t even look like me. I’ll be frail, bald, and smell. Do you really think I want to go that way?’

‘No’ he says in a small voice

I never can say goodbye, no, no, no, no, now

Never can say goodbye

Even though the pain and heartache

Seem to follow me wherever I go

Though I try and try to hide my feelings

They always seem to show,

Then you try to say you're leaving me

And I always have to say no

Tell me why is it so

That I never can say goodbye, no, no, no, no, now

Never can say goodbye

Every time I think I've had enough

And start heading for the door

There's a very strange vibration

Piercing me right through the core

It says, turn around, you fool

You know you love him more and more

Tell me why is it so

The men spent most of the morning in bed, lightly kissing, touching. Justin didn’t want to look away for a minute. He wanted to soak in every feature of this man. Sharp jaw, soft cheeks, chin fuzz, and an odd grey hair on his head. He caressed Brian’s face softly.

‘If you don’t want treatment, I won’t stop you. And I’ll be with you through every step of this’ 

‘I know sunshine. All I can do is apologize for all the shit over the years.’

‘Make love to me?’

Brian rolled Justin over onto his back, and ignored the pain in his head that was triggered when he moved. He lent in to softly kiss him, and groaned. More from the pressure in his skull then the kiss, but he still ignored it. He rolled them back over so he was bottom, and Justin straddled him. It was better on his back, the pressure was taken off his head. It didn’t take long before Brian was hard, thanks to Justin’s skilled tongue, and he slid down smoothly onto his shaft. Justin started a slow rocking rhythm. So different from their usual rapid pace. Justin bent down, chest to chest with Brian and nuzzled  his neck. Brian’s arms pulled him in and wrapped his arms round his shoulder blades. Ran his hands down his spine, cupped his ass. They kissed, slow and sweet, and stayed like this, until Brian emptied his seed into Justin.

‘How am I going to live without you’

‘You will. You’re too young to die’

‘So are you. Brian, you have a son’

-Gus- ‘Shit’ Mel and Lindsay

‘They don’t’ know do they? Brian we need to start to tell everyone’ crap

***

A week later, Debbie, Carl, Michael, Ben, Emmett, Ted, and the lesbian’s were all gathered in the Kinney-Taylor estate. They’d been invited under the illusion that Brian and Justin had a big announcement. Well they did, just not what everyone was hoping for. Gus and JR were out in the garden playing.

Emmet was practically beaming, assuming the ‘news’ he’d soon hear would mean a future party to plan.

Justin was saying ‘Brian was just getting dressed, they’d had a late start’ but in truth he’d been vomiting again, and was trying to make himself look healthy

‘Please everyone, find a seat’

Coffees were made, and handed out, and there was quiet conversation. Then Brian came round the corner and caught Justin’s arm. He was shaking slightly, but not obviously. Justin whispered,

‘You ok?’

‘For now.’ He swallowed back the bile in his throat

‘Brian’

‘Hey Mikey’ the friends hugged one armed, ‘Ben. Hello everyone. Thanks for coming’

‘So Brian, Big news?’ Emmett smiled

‘Well yes, but not exactly the happy kind’ Emmitt’s smile faded. As did everyone else’s.

‘Want me to tell them?’

‘No it’s ok. I can. It was easier this way rather than phoning everyone. I’ll say it once and I want no coddling’

‘What’s wrong Brian?’ Debbie stood, But Carl held her back. Brian took a breath. –Just say it straight-

‘I have cancer, again. In the Brain’

Everyone looked at him in shock. ‘I have maybe 5,6 months left’

There were murmurs of Oh my god’s and I’m so sorry.

‘It’s Glioblastoma, and the Dr says survival rates are 1/10. Uh..’ Justin pulls a folded piece of paper from his pocket, and reads from it.

‘The Doctor gave us a list of things we might expect to see over the next few months. As Brian has chosen not to have treatment. They include. Headaches, Seizures, Memory Issues, Mood Swings, Personality Changes, Speech Difficulties, Vomiting and Drowsiness’

‘Holy shit!’

‘We wanted to tell you before things started changing’

‘Before I start acting crazy’

‘Brian, I’m so…’

‘I said no coddling. Justin is my family, and you are my friends. I will be working on my Will over the next couple months’

‘We respectfully request that you guys give Brian and I some space over the next few months? We’re not coming back to Pittsbourough. We’re living out her now. Until…’

‘Until the end’ 

‘Please’

2 Months after the diagnosis, and Justin was beginning to notice small changes in Brian’s behavior. He was happy and content one second, and then angry the next, and without triggers.

He’d also began to loose weight, because sometimes he wouldn’t eat for 2 or three days. This destressed Justin the most. Until he found what worked best, was threatening to starve himself, unless Brian ate.

‘I’m not Hungry!’

‘I don’t care! You need to eat. You have to fight this disease as long as you can, and to do that…Fine. You know what? If you won’t, then neither will I. and we’ll die together’

‘don’t be a drama princess’

‘You want to starve to death?’ Justin jumped when Brian suddenly threw his book on the table a little harder then nessecery

‘I will not be treat like a child!!’

‘No one’s treating you like a child. You’re ignoring one of the most important things in life’

‘And what’s that? Space from YOU?!’

Justin tried not to show the sting that caused him. He gulped. Biting back a response.  He reminded himself the doctor said this might happen, personality changes. –keep composure-  he softened his voice and reached out to touch him, but Brian shoved him off.

‘I can’t do this anymore Justin. I can’t be around you. Ok? So just get THE FUCK OUT’

The glass of water Justin had been drinking was next to be thrown across the room and shatter

‘I’m not going anywhere…’

‘OUT!!!’

Justin hesitated, then snatched up his keys, and Brian’s, and walked out. He got halfway to his car, before arms trapped his biceps in a vice grip.

‘I’m sorry sunshine. Please don’t go. I didn’t mean it’

Justin turned and put his own arms round Bran’s waist

‘I know you didn’t. this isn’t you anymore Brian. But it’s not your fault. I will never stop loving you ok? Just please, let’s eat something together ok?

Together they walked hand in hand, back to the manor. Justin made them some poached eggs on toast.

After he excused himself. He just had to make a call to the gallery.

He made his way to his studio, but called the Doctor.

‘Dr Pierce, sorry to be calling you so early, but I didn’t know what else to do’

‘Is everything ok?’

‘It’s Brian. He’s becoming increasingly more aggravated, and he’s breaking things in the house. The yelling I can cope with, but I’m afraid he’s going to hurt himself. Or me’

‘Thankyou for calling Justin. It’s important we know these things, so we can address them as they occur. Do you have a safe place you can go if you need to?’

“Yes. Brian’s Friend’s Mother.’

‘Good. We can send some trained care staff to take the load of you if you’d like? Give you a rest’

‘Maybe once or twice a week. Just so I can work. All my time is taken up minding him, I can’t get any work done

‘We’ll start the screening process Justin We’ll have someone out before the end of this week for you’

***

By Wednesday, there was a phone call round 7pm. Brian was in bed, and Justin was sorting through medical bills

‘Hello?’

‘Mr Taylor?’

‘Speaking’

‘Hello. My name is Anne, I’m a specialist Home care assistant, I’ve been asked by Dr Pierce to contact you regarding the care of Mr Kinney?’

‘Oh, yes. Thankyou. Um it won’t be often, just a couple days a week so I can work’

‘Ok, not a problem. Starting tomorrow I can do Thursdays and Tuesdays for 8 hours each. It’s $25 an hour. I can take him to appointments If you need, and do the laundry. I can cook for him, for you both. Mr Taylor, I have been trained to deal with violet clients’

‘He’s not violent Anne, just unpredictable. If anything, he’s likely to hurt me or himself, not you’

‘I will be accompanied occasionally by an EN, there’s no extra costs for that. She will just assess where he’s at in terms of pain management’

‘Sounds great’

‘Ok. I will be there at 7am tomorrow’

Justin gave her the address and they said their goodbyes. He rested his head on his arms and inhaled deeply. This wasn’t what he wanted, but he wasn’t painting as much, so there was a lack of income. The bills were mounting up.

Three months after diagnosis. The PCA was working her charms. Thank god Brian liked her, because Justin wasn’t sure how he was going to behave each day. Some days were great, other’s he wanted to walk out in frustration, or curl in a ball and disappear.   Brian had a little weight gain, but he was still very thin.

Tonight they sat on the couch, and Justin had bought over a tray of chocolate dipped strawberries and a bowl of whipped cream. He slowly fed the stemmed fruit to his love. Sliding it in and out his mouth. He wasn’t allowed to bite, but he could suck off the chocolate. The sweetened lips would then touch his, and they’d get lost for a moment. Before he repeated it with the strawberry dipped in cream.

Justin then ‘accidently’ dripped some cream on Brian’s bare chest, and politely offered to clean it up. With his tongue. Licks and kisses made their way slowly south, until the trail of cream stopped just below Brian’s navel

They hadn’t been this intimate in three months.

Justin’s hand rested on Brian’s jeans above his crotch, and gently squeezed, earning him a soft moan. He was testing the boundaries lately with Brian. Not sure these days if his advances would be rejected.

But the twitch under his hand told him, tonight he may be willing.

He knelt down to be between Brian’s legs, and unzipped the jeans, gently pulling them down off Brian’s bony hips.

He took Brian in his hand, and began to massage. Up and down, and in circular motions. Rubbing his thumb over the head occasionally. He felt and watched Brian grow, as he filled with blood, and his need grew.

Justin watched Brian’s reactions. He didn’t want to hurt him. But he began to pump with his fist a little harder and faster. Brian’s belly moving with deeper breaths now. With his free hand, now out the cast, he undid his own pants and slid them down, off over his feet. He used his own fingers to probe and stretch himself open .

After a minute, he decided they were both ready, and he stood, straddling Brian’s hips, still stroking him till he lined up, and slid onto his shaft. They both sighed in pleasure.

Justin used the back of the couch to support most of his weight as he began to move.

‘Oh Sunshine…you’re so tight’

‘Mmmhmm’ he was. And it burned a little, but he was where he wanted to be.

He kept moving slowly, but would go all the way down, then just up to the tip, before going down again.

Brian bit into Justin’s neck, just as he engulfed Brian again, and that caused his internal muscles to tense, milking every last drop from Brian in a wave of pure happiness.

CHAPTER 7

4 Months after diagnosis

Brian spent a lot of time in bed. Not sleeping, but just unable to move without his body aching. His friends would visit occasionally, Debbie bringing dishes of lasagna or pies. She didn’t stay long though. She was respectful of their request to be ‘left alone’ Michael on the other hand, was harder to convince sometimes. Emmet and Ted usually showed up together, with some magazines or audio books for him. But they also respected the request to be left in peace.

Dapne would bring some  fresh veggies and fruit occasionally.  And they didn’t mind her staying. She’d just be in the ‘next room’, but give them privacy

One thing that pissed Justin off, was that Brian’s mother had not once called, or visited since finding out about her son. And he swore to himself, if she were to turn up to his… funeral, he’d have her evicted from the service.

Now they were just laying side by side in bed. Brian asleep while Justin spooned into his side. His head was reeling with work, Brian, planning the future, bills that were still mounting up. He rested his hand on Brian’s chest, as it rose and fell.

His phone vibrated next to him, and he checked it to see a text from Anne – On my way with the EN, is he awake?-

He texted back that -Brian was asleep, but seemed comfortable. He said the front door was unlocked, and they were up in the bedroom-

10 minutes later, there was a soft knock on the bedroom door, and she pocked her head round the corner. They were both dressed, and she pushed the door open and made eye contact with Justin. Speaking quietly.

‘Hello. Justin, this is Angela, the EN. Emma had to be elsewhere today’

Justin just blinked at the woman. She could see he had been crying. His eyes were red, but she didn’t mention it.

Anne whispered to Angela ‘Brian might lash out if he’s startled awake, let Justin rouse him’

Justin laid a soft kiss on Brian’s breast.

‘Brian? Sweetheart. The amazing Anne is here’ Brian didn’t respond. ‘Brian? It’s time to wake up,’ This got a moan, and his eyes fluttered open.

‘I was fucking you, why’d you wake me, we were in Bablon’

Angela leaned into Anne

‘I take it they’re…’

‘A couple, yes’

‘Bablon?’

‘it’s a club Brian used to own. Its where they first met’

‘Ladies if you don’t mind….my everything hurts. Stop talking and help me already’

Justin looked at them apologetically and moved himself off the bed. Careful he didn’t trip over any wires.

Justin, I’m going to wash him. Angela would like a word with you outside if that’s ok’

‘I’ll just be out here if you need help’ Justin moved out into the lounge with the nurse.

They took a seat at opposite ends of the couch.

‘Mr Taylor…’

‘Please, Justin’

‘Justin. I’ve been updating myself on this case before I came today, and your regular RN tells me his pain has been getting worse. Is this correct?’

‘Yes. The medication he’s taking doesn’t seem to work anymore’

They heard a shout from the bedroom…

‘Ok. Well today, I’m going to teach you how to measure and give him morphine injections. How often, and how much he can take. Now this is very important to remember. You can overdose him if you’re not careful, and if that happens he could potentially fall into a coma. You understand?’

‘Yes’

‘I need you to sign some paperwork, to say that you fully understand the risks involved’

‘Sure’

‘I also understand that you have power of attorney over Brian’s life if he needs to be put on or taken off life support’

‘I do’ – Thankyou Melanie!-

Angela digs out some papers from her bag with a pen, and shows Justin where to sign.

Anne calls from the bedroom, to say they’re ready for the meds and stats to be taken.

Angela takes Justin’s hand between hers. ‘I know it’s scary. But it’s going to help him enormously’

He pulls his hand from hers.

‘I’m 26, We’ve been together nearly 10 years. I was 17 he was 29. He’s too young to die’

He gets up and walks back to the bedroom leaving a shocked Angela behind. She followed seconds later – stay focused on the job, he’s not available…yet-

Justin saw the strain on Brian’s face when he walked back in, and Brian reached out for him. He sat on the edge of the bed, and took his hands. They were cold.

‘I’m here. The nurse is gonna show me how to give you Morphine ok.’

Angela ran Justin through the routine, and how to measure properly, how to find the vein, and how to cause as little pain as possible when the needle went in.

She took Brian’s pulse and blood pressure, drew some blood for testing, and helped prop him up for some food. After a further 15 minutes, she said her goodbye and left Justin, Brian and Anne.

Justin excused himself to his studio, and stared at a blank canvas. He knew what he wanted to create. He started with a red base, then started to flick streaks of red and gold in random directions until what he had looked like a spiders web, or what he imagined electricity would look like.

He set it aside to dry, and got another canvas the same size, but this time, used blues greens and aqua with silver highlights. The third canvas, was Purples pink and gold.

Suddenly, he let the paint brush fall from his hands, and he walked to the wall 2 foot away, reared back his fist and punched straight through causing a fist sized hole. He turned around, and slid down the wall till his chin touched his knees. And cried

How was he going to do this. He’s tried to be strong, be detached from the reality. He felt like he was falling, and no one even knew. There was a pale skeleton in his bed sheets. That was, and is still the man he loves.

He cried till he was physically ill. But he now had an idea. One he never thought would ever cross his mind. But he saw no alternative. Anne found him alter, and coaxed him into coming in, to have a shower, and get into bed. She’d clean up the mess in the studio before she went

****

5 Months after diagnosis, and Brian was bed bound.  He was bony, was hooked up to oxygen 24/7, and slept about 16 hours a day. There was no love between their sheets anymore. Brian’s headaches were almost constant and he vomited at least once every 48 hours.  He’d refused any food for almost a week, so had an IV hooked up.

Justin measured the morphine into the syringe with shaky hands, he pulled the plunger back while watching Brian. He was mumbling to himself with his eyes closed. Tapping the needle to release air, he rolled up Brian’s sleeve, and felt for the right spot with his fingers.

‘I’m sorry Brian, but you need this. It’ll help you sleep’

‘Sunshine’ he was quiet. Justin wasn’t even sure if he was conscious enough to be talking to him, or if he was just dreaming him

‘Sunshine, give me a bigger shot’

‘I can’t baby, it’s not…’

‘Justin…’he opens his eyes. Those beautiful eyes. ’Please. Help me’

‘Please don’t make me do this’

‘It’s time’

‘No it’s not…’

‘Justin!’ –Ah!!!!-‘Please. I love you. But …promise me …you’ll double dose’

He lent in and kissed the thin dry lips, then his nose, then each eyelid, and finally his forehead

Carefully, Justin injected the drug into Brian’s arm, and pushed the plunger. He refilled the syringe with another dose, Injected Brian again. Brian closed his eyes and sighed. When he seemed to be asleep, Justin took out a fresh needle, dosed himself once, twice, and then a third time and collapsed on the bed beside Brian

End