Chapter 6

Monday morning came too soon for Justin and Brian.  As the lay in each other’s arms Justin pulled him closer.  “At least you’re not on the time clock.” He said this as he draped his leg over Brian’s hip and pulled him yet closer as Brian adjusting so his finger could slip into Justin.  As there lips fused, Brian added another finger, working for the final prize. As Brian started working in a third Justin shifted to his stomach putting his knees under him so his ass was in the air. Within a second, Brian was in place and entering him.  Justin and Brian got into a rhythm that was so familiar to them. As they neared bliss Brian draped his body over Justin and weaved his fingers with his.

“This isn’t going to change when we’re married, is it?” Brian whispered.

“As long as we are breathing, this isn’t going to change.”

With that they both spasmed and then collapsed.

After their shower, Justin pulled on jeans and a T-shirt and headed down to make coffee while Brian dressed for work.  As he walked into the kitchen Justin did a low, long whistle. He walked up with a travel mug in his hand. Putting the mug on the island he slipped his hands under the suit jacket and purred, “I want to take this off you and….”  as their lips met Justin heard the door behind him.

“Do you two never stop?” Alice’s voice chuckled.

John’s voice responded.  “Trust me, they don’t”

Justin turned in Brian’s arms and leaned against him. Brian wrapped his arms around Justin’s shoulders.  “Good Morning. Brian was just head….

John interrupted. “We don’t want to hear about Brian’s head.”  They all laughed.

Justin turned to face Brian again.  He kissed him and handed him his cup of coffee. Brian waved at the others and walked out the door.

John and Justin spent the day together, first having breakfast and then working in the studio. John was catching on quickly under Justin’s calm and kind instructions.  Near the end of the day, Justin needed to run to a nearby art supply store and John came along. “John, do you have your license?”

“Ya, I have had it a couple years but haven’t had much chance to drive.  Mom rarely let me use her car.”

“I am going to talk to Brian about getting you some wheels or at least getting you on our insurance.  I would have loved to keep working today but needed these supplies. If we can get you hooked up you could do this for me.”

“That would be great!”  

“I have a running account at this store and a couple others.  I will introduce you around in the next few days and then you will really save me lots of time.  You are kind of quiet today. Everything alright?”

“Ya, I guess it is just adjusting.  You guys have been so good to me. I don’t feel like someone is sitting on my chest all the time like I did at home.  I mean, I feel more at home here than I ever did growing up. And most of my friends would shit if they saw where I was living.  That house is bigger than where I grew up. And you let me come up to the main house. I think I will like having a roommate as long as we get along.”

“Considering you have been here less than a week you are doing really well.  And I am glad you feel at home here. I think you are kind of skirtting around something though.  By now you know you can ask me anything. Anytime you step over the line I’ll tell you.”

“Is dinner the other night stepping over the line? What were you two doing?”

“You know we have been together 10 years.  We have to do something to keep things exciting.  We both get bored easily. So, basically, he was torturing me in the best way all through dinner. Let’s just say his left hand got a work out.”

It took him a second to get his locations straight in his head and then his eyes got huge. “You mean…..”  Justin nodded. “Well that explains a lot.” He had a goofy grin on his face. “I didn’t know someone could have that hard of a boner and still be walking around. “  After he said it he looked at Justin like he may have gone over the line.

“Let’s just say I wasn’t comfortable and I was very glad you didn’t return to the house for something.”  Justin laughed at himself.

“Games are fun, John, when both of you agree and when you don’t do anything dangerous.” Justin could see John really thinking hard about something.  “You still have questions?”

“Not really a question. I just don’t think I will know until, well…...try it.”

“There is nothing wrong with experimenting if that is what you think you want. Let’s give it a little time.  If you still think you are drawn toward men your uncle and I may still have some connections that you could have an ‘evening out. It doesn’t mean you have to DO something.”

“Since it is obvious you felt what was going on with me the other night, did that feel weird.  Did it feel good? Sorry I feel weird asking you this because it is about me but I am trying to generalize it.  Would you like to feel that again with someone you are interested in?”

John almost said, ‘I’m interested in you.’ but he knew that would be suicide for himself.  Maybe he would take him up on the offer later. He then had a thought. “So, this Antony guy, is he…?”

“Oh, John, I am not sure and that could be a bit tricky.  I honestly think Antony is very free with his love and who he loves.  We didn’t ever go into detail but he hinted that he had experimented with both. You two will have to agree on anything that is going on. But you might want to meet him first and see if you are attracted to him before you start planning on sex.”  Of course Justin remembered at that age it didn’t take much to want to try anything.

Justin made sure he introduced John around to the shops he made purchases at.  He was sure he could get something set up so he didn’t have to make all these runs.  There were still things he would want to pick out but John could help with a lot of it.

The day went quickly and by the time they got back to the house Justin realized he hadn’t heard from Brian all day.  He thought maybe he would be at the house but he wasn’t there. He tried calling Brian’s cell and he didn’t pick up. He then tried his private line at the office and still no answer.  Ted didn’t answer his line so he finally tried Cynthia.

“Hi, Justin!  I haven’t seen you since the party.  How are the wedding plans going?”

“I meet with Emmett tomorrow to try to get some things locked down.  Brian didn’t tell you we planned this weekend?” Justin and Cynthia laughed at that. “Speaking of Brian, do you know where he is?  I have tried every number I can think of?”

“Did you try Michael?”

“Why would I try Michael? I take it they were at the office together at some point today?”

“Michael dropped by about 3:00 and the next thing I knew Brian was leaving with him.  He didn’t have any appointments so it was no big deal. I haven’t seen him since.”

“Did they say anything about where they were going?”

“No, but I think I heard Ted say something about Woody’s.”

Now he had an idea where he was and who he was with.  It had been a long time since Brian didn’t call….In fact, the last time it happened was with Michael when Ben was out of town. He called Brian’s cell again and left a message. “Brian, let me know where you are and when you will be home.” He paused. “Love you.”

Alice had left while he and John had been in town.  He looked to see if there was a note about dinner. He could make something but if she had left something all the better. It was still a little early and he really wanted to hear from Brian before starting anything.  There was a note. She had made a pot of chili and made sure there were tortilla chips and all the toppings that went so well with chili. At least that would be easy.

6:00 pm came and went without a word.  John and Justin ate around 7:00 and as John cleaned up Justin called Woody’s.  The bartender confirmed that Brian, Michael, and Ted had been in mid afternoon. Ted had left at 5:00, Justin thought to himself, he went home to Blake. He said Brian had called a cab for him and Michael around 6:30.  Justin thanked him and hung up. He tried Michael and Ben’s number and things became much clearer to him. It said, “You have reached Michael and Ben. If you are looking for Ben he is on sabbatical, call his cell. If you have a message for Michael leave it now.”

As John walked into the family room Justin was throwing a pillow across the room. “Everything OK with Uncle Brian?”

“That’s a good question?  I am guessing by this point he is either too drunk or too high to remember I exist!”  

John realized this was a side of Justin he hadn’t seen before.  It was a side of his uncle he had lots of memories of.

When 9:00 rolled around and there was no word Justin called Lindsey.

Around 2:00 pm Michael popped into Kinnetiks.  “Hi Cynthia, is the boss in or free?”

“Sure is, go on back.”

She buzzed Brian’s private line.  “Kinney.”

“Who else would it be?” Cynthia laughed.  “Michael is on his way back.”

Brian met Michael near the door. “Mikey,” and hugged his old friend.

“Hey, Brian, I’m off for the day.  Ben is in Vancouver for 4 months. I’m bored.  What do you say we act like we are 10 years younger.”

“Why do I think this is a bad idea? Hell, let’s go!”  

They got to Woody’s around 2:30 and Brian started a tab.  About 5:00 Ted joined them and had a club soda. The old friends hadn’t done this for a long time.   Around 6:00 Ted stood to leave. “Hey, Brian, you called Justin, didn’t you?”

Brian was feeling no pain by now. Jim Beam was always his friend. Ted was ready to head home to Blake.  “Brian, did you call Justin?” Brian took out his phone and started pushing number 1

“Better take care of your wife,” Michael laughed.  “Whoever would think, Brian Kinney has a wife.”

Brian looked at his phone and then looked at  the bartender and ordered them another round. After they downed them Brian looked at Michael.  “Should we go to the loft? We can grab a pizza or something. I bet if I look I can find a joint somewhere in that place.”

“Let’s go!” Michael said and they got in a waiting cab.

They grabbed a pizza and a bucket of chicken on the way.  Brian overpaid the cabbi and they went up to the top floor. Brian fumbled for the keys and managed to open the door and got the security code in just before it went off.

By 8:00 they were in the middle of the loft floor.  There was a bottle of Jim Beam between them and pizza and chicken in their reach.  Brian had looked around in his favorite spots and not only found a couple joints but he also found some of his special mix. Michael and Brian had been transported back 10 years.  They talked about high school and the Babylon days.

Lindsey was surprised to see Justin’s name on her phone at this time of night.  “Hey, Justin, what did I do to deserve a call from my favorite artist. It’s too late for you to call for Gus.”

“I have a big favor, Linds.”

Lindsey now heard Justin’s voice was not steady. “What is it, Justin? Is something wrong?”

“Yes, well, no….I don’t know.  Brian didn’t come home. He didn’t call me or text me.  I tracked him to Woody’s with Michael but he hasn’t responded to any calls or texts.  Lindsey, my guess is they are at the loft. And I am guessing he is fine. And if he is fine I am so FUCKING mad at him but I need to know he is fine to get mad. Do you still have a key to the loft?”

“I’m on my way.  What do you want me to do?”

“Nothing.   I mean if you talk to him, fine but if you know he is OK and passed out on the floor that is fine too.”

“I’ll call you soon.”  And Lindsey was off.

John walked up to Justin and put his hand on his shoulder.  Justin turned into his very willing arms. “He’s ok, I’m sure.  Mom told me Brian was like this. Now he’s showing what he is like.”

“No, John, this is what Brian used to be like.  He hasn’t done anything like this in years. And that’s what worries me.  Maybe something is really wrong.”

“Or maybe he is just fucking around.”

Justin nearly struck John. That hadn’t crossed his mind until now.  Justin walked away from John.

John realized he went to far.  “Justin, I am sorry. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.” John walked toward Justin, who was staring out the window.   He put his hands on Justin’s shoulders, I’m sorry. I should never have said that.” John stepped away but didn’t want to leave until he knew what had happened to Brian.

Justin did understand why John would say something like that but right now he didn’t have it in him to be understanding. He was too scared right now to be understanding.

Lindsey drove to the loft.  She could see lights on up there.  Letting herself into the building she went upstairs. She unlocked the door to the loft and felt like she was in a time warp.  There in the center of the floor was Brian and Michael, surrounded by food cartons and the smell of weed in the air. She walked over and made sure they were both Ok. and she walked out.

Once she was back on the street she took out her phone and called Justin back.  How was she going to tell him? She hated breaking his heart.

“Lindsey!”

“Justin, he is fine.  Well, sort of. He and Michael are passed out drunk or high actually both in the loft.”

“Thanks, Lindsey.” and he hung up. Justin grabbed the first thing he could reach and flung the antique vase into the fireplace. “BASTARD!”  He grabbed a dish next that went across the room. After throwing a couple more things there were glass shards everywhere. Justin’s whole body was trembling as he went over and started  trying to clean up the mess. “Ouch, DAMN!” Justin dropped to his knees where he was and cried. John took a step closer and saw blood oozing from Justin’s hand.

“Justin, let’s get you out of this mess before you get hurt worse”.  He helped him up and walked him into the kitchen. After sitting him on a stool he got a clean cloth and wet it.  John brought the cloth to Justin. “Let me see it.” John put his hand out and Justin laid his in it. He wiped away the blood and looked closely. “Justin do you have a first aid kit somewhere?”  Justin just pointed to the pantry. Justin was going to rub the cut. “No, Justin, there are a couple small slivers of glass. He removed them and wiped the hand well. He then used some antiseptic  on it. Justin jumped at this. For the first time John notice a puddle of blood on the floor. “Justin, you are really bleeding.”

Justin looked down, “Shit.”  He stood to pull his pants down.  

“Be careful.  Don’t make it worse.”  

Justin pulled his pants down, leaving him in his briefs.  

“Just dig it out!.”

“But Justin, what if there is real damage….”

“Let me do it then.” Justin reached for the tweezer.  

“OK, let me look at it.   Maybe I should take you to the ER.  It might take a stitch or two and it is going to hurt like hell..

“Just take care of it. Brian has taught me that pain can take away the hurt.”

John dropped to his knees with the tweezer.  He couldn’t help but notice how close Justin’s briefs were and what was on the other side of that thin materiel.  He got up and poured a large glass of whiskey He handed it to Justin. “Drink it. All of it.”

Justin felt the burn and then after a minute or two he felt the buzz.  John could see the glaze go over Justin’s face and then he dropped down to his knees.  John took the tweezers and literally holding the wound open with one hand he pulled out the piece of glass with the tweezers.  After looking carefully he didn’t see another piece in there. John put alcohol on some cotton and cleaned the wound the best he could. John could see the pain on Justin’s face. He wasn’t sure how much was physical and how much was mental.  He put pressure on the cut trying to get the blood to stop. As he pressed he found his eyes wandering to Justin’s nearly naked crotch. John fought the urge to reach out and touch it.

“I think it is time for you to go to bed..” Justin stood but was wobbly  “Let me help you.” Together they walked up the steps and got to the bedroom.  John noticed a decanter of whiskey so poured Justin another one. Justin drank it in one swig.  John took off Justin’s shirt and laid him down, pulling the blankets up to Justin’s chest. Justin reached out and put his hand behind John’s head. He began pulling it toward his own. God, John wanted to kiss him but he was drunk and it was wrong. John pulled away.  Justin was never going to be his and he knew that now. Justin murmured something. John kissed Justin’s forehead and walked out of the room.

After cleaning up all the glass and putting the first aid kit back he picked up Justin’s pants.  He brought them up to his nose and he breathed in hoping to get some scent of him. He then brought the jeans to the laundry.  It was nearly 1:00 when he arrived back at his house. God he was horny and needed some relief. He went about relieving himself.  

John walked up to the house about 7:30.  Alice was just pulling up. He thought he should be there to ‘warn’ her. “Morning, Alice.”

“Good Morning, John.  You are up here early.”

“I thought I should be here to talk to you before you went in.”

“What is going on?”

“Brian didn’t come home last night. He didn’t call or text all day. Justin finally had Gus’ mom check on him.  He was at the apartment in town feeling no pain, if you know what I mean.”

“And Justin?

“He kind of went crazy.  He smashed a bunch of stuff and then he cut himself.  I patched him up and got him in bed.”

“In bed alone, I HOPE.”

John looked shocked. “Is that obvious?”

“Yes, but it is also obvious.you are trying to follow the rules so….he went to bed alone?”

“Yes he did.”  

Alice made breakfast for John.  He ate it and then took a second cup of coffee out to the studio to see if he could figure out what to do next.  Alice would take care of Justin.

Brian groaned and he reached for Justin but then realized he was in the loft.  Michael lay about four feet away snoring loudly. Brian started getting up but groaned.  God, his head hurt, actually his whole body hurt. What had he done? He looked at the clock.  Shit it was almost 8:00. What time was the meeting today. 10:00. He called and left a message for Cynthia to move the meeting to 1:00 or any time later than 10:00. He crawled to the couch and climbed onto it. “Kill me now” he thought.  Just then he heard the door open. His vision wasn’t perfectly clear but it looked like Lindsey walking in.

Lindsey carried in 4 large cups of coffee and a bag of something.   She walked over to Brian and handed him a cup. She hadn’t said a word. Michael still snored.  Lindsey sat on the opposite end of the couch with her own cup of coffee. Very quietly she said, “What the hell were you thinking?”

“How did you know I was here?”

“Oh, I was here last night. Of course you and your high school buddy didn’t know that because you were already passed out. Yes, I made sure you were breathing and then I left and called your fiance,” Her voice was growing louder now. “And told him you were alive!”

Michael groaned on the floor and sat up. Lindsey brought him a cup of coffee.  She handed it to him and said, “Don’t say a word.” It was more a threat then a statement.

“I really don’t know what to say.  Some fun with him,” She pointed to Michael, “Is more important than the love of you life.  The man you have spent years of your life with. The man you LOVE. A night of booze and drugs was worth putting him through hell. Did you even think about calling him? Nothing to say for yourself?”

Michael stood up.  “I have to go. I have a shipment coming to the store.”  

Lindsey looked at Michael. “You hold at least 50% of the blame here. Stay away from him if you value your life, or better yet, if you want to see your daughter any time soon!”

“Lindsey, you can’t do….”

“Try me, Michael, just try me!”

Michael left without a word.

Lindsey’s attention went back to Brian.  His full attention was on the cup of coffee which was now empty.  Lindsey handed him the last cup and the bag she had carried in. Inside was an egg sandwich from the deli.  “That should help soak up some of the alcohol.”

Just then Brian’s phone beeped.  He picked it up. A message from Cynthia just said 11:00.

“Shit.”

“Good news, I take it?”

“I have to be at a meeting in two hours.”

“Well, if I were you I would send a flower shop full of flowers and then call and leave him the most heartfelt  message you can muster because he will not answer your call. And then as soon as you can get away from work you should crawl all the way up that stunning driveway you own and beg his forgiveness. I love you and I love Michael but when you get together you think you are 18 again.  You are both fathers. You both have partners. Grow UP!” And with that she was gone.

Brian got into the shower. As he stood under the water tears flowed.  Would it have been so hard to just call Justin. He wouldn’t have been happy but he would have said go ahead.  He could picture Justin growing more and more worried. Why did he do such stupid stuff?’’

As soon as he got out of the shower he called three flower shops and bought every tulip and all the lily of the valley they had to be delivered to the house.  He then got dressed and left for the office, arriving 30 minutes before the meeting.

Once he had everything he needed for the meeting he called Justin’s phone.

My sweet Sunshine, I am so sorry.  I was so wrong not to call you and let you know where I was.  I am so sorry. I will do anything to make it right. I should never have let you worry.  Sunshine, please forgive me. I will be home by 2:00pm and I will do anything you ask. Just forgive me.  I can’t do life without you. Please, Baby…...Brian’s voice broke….. I love you so much, Sunshine.”

Brian was a bit distracted during the meeting but he pulled himself together enough to finish the sale. When it was finished he went back to his office and  checked his phone praying there would be a message, a text, anything from Sunshine. Would he even want him at the house?

Justin woke late and came downstairs, hoping he might miss Alice.  As he came to the kitchen he could hear Alice humming as she did some of her work.  Justin took a deep breath. “Good Morning, Alice. Sorry for the mess in the living room.  I will clean it up.”:

Alice looked at him confused.”What are you talking about, Justin?  There is no mess.”

Justin walked in there and found nothing out of order except the missing items he smashed. He started walking back to the kitchen when he heard  a vehicle. He looked out the door and saw a flower van, no two flower van’s pull up. After multiple trips in and out the living room and kitchen had multiple bouquets.  The smell of lily of the valley was everywhere.

After all the flowers had been delivered, Justin sat down with a cup of coffee. Alice sat down next to him.  “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.  Not much to say.  Brian didn‘t come home.  He didn’t call. I had him tracked down so I knew he was alright.  He could have a night out but he didn’t tell me where he was. He didn’t think about me. I was so worried.  He never goes without texting or calling. I’m not really sure how I even got to bed, although I vaguely remember John.”  He looked at his hands. There were a few little nicks and he saw the bandaid on his leg when he woke. It hurt a bit but he looked at it and it was already closing up.

“Have you seen John today?  I might have scared him a bit last night.”

“I think John is just fine.  Toucher than you think. So what are you going to do about Brian?  You already said it. It wasn’t what he did, it was what he didn’t do.  Don’t make the punishment worse than the crime.”

The doorbell rang and the third flower shop delivery arrived.  Oh, Brian. Everyone else would have ordered roses but the simplicity of the tulip and the heavenly smell of the lily of the valley were amazing.  And he missed him SO much! He looked at his phone for the first time today.

He listened to the message Brian had left early.  

My sweet Sunshine, I am so sorry.  I was so wrong not to call .... I will do anything to make it right…….should never have let you worry.  ……... forgive me…..will be home by 2:00pm and I will do anything you ask…….. I can’t do life without you. Please, Baby…...  I love you so much, Sunshine.

Brian may not have blamed Michael but Justin did. He needed to go see John and then he needed to come up with someway for Brian to apologize.

Justin went to the studio and found John at the desk working. John looked up.  “How are you this morning?

“I am much better.  Than last night. Part of that is thanks to you.”

“How is your leg?”

“It is already healing. Thanks for helping with that. I seem to remember you in my bedroom last night.”

“I just helped you get in bed.”

Justin turned his back to John. “Did I do anything I shouldn’t have? I have a couple images but I was pretty strung out by then.”

“Justin, nothing happened, nothing will happen. We will be related through marriage in a few months. I learned something about myself last night.  I can do the right thing and feel good about it the next day.”

Justin was a bit confused but John seemed to have a new self confidence today. “What do you say we so get some lunch.  And I have a favor, can you take your dinner along with you when you leave after lunch and just stay out of the house from 2:00 on today?”

“So what is his punishment?” John smiled.

“I am not sure yet.  But he’s already turned our house into a flower shop.  John, what he did wasn’t that bad. He just hung out with a buddy.  His mistake was not calling me and letting me know.” They walked into the kitchen. “A very wise woman told me not to make the punishment worse than the crime.”  He kissed Alice as he walked passed her. And just for being so wise, you are leaving at 1:30 today. I made an appointment for 2:00 at that place you like to go for a massage and a pedicure.

After eating lunch, John first raided Brian’s porn library and then the refrigerator.  He had enough food to last him a couple of days. He would make his breakfast in the morning and at some point Justin would meet him in the studio before noon.  

Alice had dinner in the refrigerator and there was plenty of other food in there.  Justin realized it may sound funny but he just wanted to take a nap. He grabbed a couple of the vases of flowers and headed to their room.

He set the flowers on either side of the bed and he laid down for a short nap.

It was nearly 2:00 Brian pulled his car into the garage and entered the house. Justin had no reason to forgive him.  It was cruel not to let him know what was going on. He should have known Michael was going to be trouble. Why does he always fall for it with Mikey?

He was barely in the house when the smell of Lilies of the Valley hit him.  It did smell amazing. Where was Justin? What if he just left? Would he have left?  His life was over if Justin left him. He would still breath but he wouldn’t live. He roamed room to room.  Nothing gave him a clue of where Justin would be. Would he be at the studio? He finally went upstairs to change into something other than a suit.

Brian walked into their room and there  was his beautiful boy. Just like Goldilocks.  His heart broke knowing what he had put him through.   He dropped to his knees near Justin’s head. He smoothed Justin’s hair back from his face. This man held his heart.  He traced Justin’s lips with his finger over and over. All he wanted to do was take those lips, that body but he had no right.

Leaving his finger on Justin’s lips he dropped his head onto his own arm. As tears escaped Brian’s eyes a thumb wiped one away  and then he felt a hand on his chin.

“Brian, are you going to make me wait another day for a kiss? It’s been far too long already.”

Brian lifted his chest off the bed.”Justin I….”

“If you want talk all afternoon, please do it somewhere else.  If you want to love me, let’s get rid of these clothes and love each other.

Brian took Justin in his arms and reverently   kissed those sweet lips. The taste of his mouth was all he needed. He pulled him closer but the clothes was too much  of a barrier. He stood and dropped his jacket and then his shirt in the chair. He then reached for Justin and pulled off his shirt. Brian sat on the edge of the bed and pulled Justin to him. He reclaimed Justin’s mouth and was soon working to get Justin’s pants off.  He didn’t want to break contact but it was so much faster if he did. He offered a hand to Justin and he stood. They loosened each others’ pants and as the pants dropped to the floor they dropped on the bed in a tanglement of arms and legs. Brian slid his hand down Justin’s arm, across his chest and abdomen. His lips trailed down the center of Justin’s body and as it dipped below Justin’s navel he kept going and soon his tongue was wrapped around Justin’s cock.

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Won’t you shut up and suck me off.” Justin watched as Brian’s head encased his entire cock.  Brian’s hands ran down Justin’s leg and his fingers skimmed the bandage. He started removing his mouth but Justin grabbed Brian’s head. “If you remove that mouth right now I may have to kill you.” Justin took a deep breath.  “Please, I need to come now.” And just like that Brian did something and Justin spasmed.” Oh, God,” Justin shuttered.

Justin reached down and pulled Brian back up to eye level.  “Baby, don’t ever do that again! My heart can’t take it. I didn’t know where you were.  If you would have just told me. I might have given you shit but I don’t make your decisions but you have to share them with me.

“I am SO sorry.  I never meant, Michael stopped by and we went to Woody’s…”

“I don’t care what you did.  I just needed to know you were OK. Now, if you want to talk the afternoon away we could watch a movie but I think I can find something much more entertaining”. Justin flipped Brian to his back and straddled him.    

Brian started getting uncomfortable because Justin was just staring at him.

“Um, Sunshine, What are you looking at?”

“You, I just need to see you.”

Brian put his hands on Justin’s lower legs and again encountered the bandage.  “So are you going to tell me what happened to your leg.”

“Last night when Lindsey finally called me that you were OK, I had a little tantrum.  I am afraid I broke several things in the living room. When I knelt down to start cleaning it up I ended up putting my leg down on a shard.  John cleaned it up. He was really good in a crisis. Guess his whole life has been a crisis. He helped me get the glass out of my hands and then…”

“Your hands? Are your hands ok?” He gently took both of Justin’s hands.  He lowered his lips to the palms where he could see the little scratches.

“Baby, they are totally my fault.”

“No, if I had called, you would have grumbled a little but you don’t stop me from seeing Mikey. I sometimes wonder why.  We do tend to get in trouble when we are together.”

“Ben and I decided long ago trying to stop you just isn’t the answer so we just try to make it a foursome most of the time.”

As Justin was talking he had begun to rub Brian’s chest.  He began to focus on his nipples pinching lightly, twisting a bit, and then after what seemed like a lifetime to Brian,   Justin lowered his mouth and suckled one and then the other. From his position straddling Brian, he could feel the effect he was having on him. He began shifting his ass back and forth rubbing against his straining cock.

“Sunshine,” he paused to take a steadying breath.  “You are in charge. I won’t make any decision without you. What do you want right now?”

Justin linked his arms around Brian’s neck and then rolled taking Brian with him. “You know what to do. Just love me.”

Brian lowered his mouth and with tenderness Justin felt in his soul Brian caressed Justin’s mouth. Brian landed feather light kisses on his face and then slid down to position himself.  Justin’s legs were draped over his shoulders as, after using lube he slid in slowly. He began moving at a restrained speed. Each thrust was deliberate to have every millimeter felt by both of them. In and out at a pace that soon was driving Justin crazy.  Justin clawed at the sheets trying to restrain himself. Brian lowered his head and the minute their lips touched Justin cupped his head and crushed their mouths together.

That was all it took.  Brian began to thrust harder and faster with long, sure strokes.  He looked into Justin’s eyes. Those gorgeous, caring, blue eyes he disappointed them again.  He couldn’t handle doing that again. “I love you, Justin Taylor!” With bruising power he claimed those lips once more as they both cried out in release.     

They lay together silently for a long time. They just needed to be together. Finally, Justin moved.  “I don’t want to lose your heat but I need to piss.” As Justin moved they both noticed how chilly the house was.  “Brian, can you turn the furnace up? I’m freezing my….well, I don’t think you want it to fall off.”

Brian adjusted the thermometer and grabbed their robes.  He slipped his arms in his and bundled Justin into his. “I hate covering up that beautiful body. Such a waste but then again I don’t want to share that beautiful body with John, at dinner.”

“There will be no John at dinner.  No one is expected back at this house until noon tomorrow.  You aren’t done apologizing yet. Trust me.”

“My pleasure!  Are you as hungry as I am? Do you think Alice left us something?”

“It’s Alice.  Of course she did. By the way, you are going to get a bill for a massage and pedicure.” Brian looked at him quizzically.  “Alice put his all into perspective for me. She reminded me that I wasn’t made about what you did but what you didn’t do and  that the punishment should fit the ‘crime’. Your crime was you didn’t contact me not that you were with Michael. You are an adult.  Your only crime was lack of consideration. Lindsey texted she stopped by the loft this morning. I have a feeling she ‘punished’ you quite a bit.”

“I deserved a lot more.”

“OOOOh I might be able to come up with something.”  Justin laughed. “Let’s go eat!”

Justin found a pan in the refrigerator and following the instructions put it in the oven.  Well, looks like we have 45 minutes. “Looks like Alice has a plate of appetizers to tide us over. That woman needs a raise.”    Justin popped some cheese and meat cubes in his mouth. Brian seemed to be more interested in nibbling on Justin than the food. Soon the food was forgotten and Justin was perched on the edge of the counter and Brian had his hands between his legs.

“Brian, there is no time for that.  We only have a few minutes before dinner is ready and I don’t want to be so damn uncomfortable I can’t enjoy it.”

Brian chuckled and slipped between Justin’s legs. He took that face between his hands and rubbed his thumb over those bruised lips that begged to be kissed again.  He gently brought his mouth to Justin and the lips opened so willingly, so invitingly.

All of the sudden, Justin clung to Brian and Brian was sure he felt a tear on his neck.  “Sunshine, Justin, are you alright?”

“I was so scared. You always call or text.” He pulled him in even closer.

“I am so sorry.  I don’t know what else to say. I know I can’t make it up to you.”

Justin pulled back a bit and smiled.  “I think you are going to make it up to me after dinner.”

“And how am I going to do that?”

“That is up to you…..but it better be good!”

Just as Justin said that the timer went off. He kissed Brian’s nose and jumped off the counter.

They sat at the counter and Justin dished up the hot dish that Alice had made them.  Justin chatted about John and the studio but Brian was remarkably quiet.

“Baby, is there something wrong?”

“You don’t know what you have done, do you?”

“Done?  What do you mean?”

“You said I had to make it up to you after dinner.”

“Justin, every time with you is special so I am trying to figure out what I, what we can do.”

“Brian, you are right!  Everytime is special.” Justin got off the stool and stood in front of Brian. “So, don’t stress over it.I was kidding.” He slid his hands inside Brian’s robes and went around his waist and crept up his back drawing him forward on the stool.

Brian’s hands, too, slid into Justin’s robe, up his chest and over the shoulders taking the robe with it.  The robe dropped to the floor. Brian slid his hands down Justin’s back and over his well rounded ass. “Justin, is there one thing you have always wanted me to do? What is your fantasy? Even if you think it’s silly or childish.”

“Sure like this is something I think about every day.”  

“There has to be something.  Maybe something you hoped would happen right after we met.”

“Brian, I have everything I ever wished for.  I have a house full of flowers. I have heard you  say ‘I love you’ hundreds, no thousands of times. We are planning our wedding.  The first night I never thought I would fuck you. I didn’t think you would ever allow me to be on top and as time went on I have done that once in a while.  Even if you don’t really like it you know once in a while I have a whim.” He leaned his naked body against Brian and shivered a bit so Brian pulled his robe around him.  “You do know how much I love you inside of me. I am not saying we should switch rolls all the time because I LOVE when you are in me. In fact,” Justin turned in Brian’s arms and rubbed his ass against Brian’s erection.

“Oh, that is the hottest ass I have ever seen, or felt, or had!” He buried his face in the crook of Justin’s neck and began kissing and nibbling and licking, “Let’s go upstairs.” Justin grabbed his robe and Brian had to slap that perfect ass.

When they were in their room, Brian stepped into the bathroom and started the bath.  He added some bath salts and got the temp just right..

Justin wandered in and saw Brian’s naked body bending over the tub.  He instantly was aroused. That body would always turn him on. He did a low whistle as he walked up behind him.  It was his turn to smack his ass and he reached around to gently massage his penis.

“Oh,god!” He took a deep breath. “Ready for a soak?” He stepped in and then offered Justin his hand. “Front or back?” Justin sat and leaned against the back of the huge tub. Brian sat down in front of Justin and Justin’s arms closed around him pulling him tightly against his chest.

After sitting there for what seemed to be a long time. “I wish we could just stay like this forever. I just sometimes don’t want the to allow the world in. It’s so much easier when it is just the two of us.”

“I’m sorry, Sunshine, I know that’s my fault.”

“Maybe some but my life can be crazy, too.”

As he talked, Justin explored Brian’s beautiful body.  His chest, his abs, his dick. He had never seen a more perfect one and he had seen more than his share.

“Sunshine, do I ever make you feel less important than me? I mean I am so used to being in charge, do I do that to you?”

“No, well, if you do I know I still have a choice.”

“Justin,” He took hold of Justin’s roaming hands. “I don’t ever what you to feel second rate. What you were saying downstairs...I know I am more comfortable on top but if you ever…..If you told me you would only be top I would be your bottom the rest of my life.  I need you in my life and if that means you need to be in me everytime, I wouldn’t go anywhere.

Brian stood up and stepped out of the tub.  He reached for Justin’s hand. Justin joined him on the floor.  They began drying each other, lingering on those parts that stimulated them which was basically everywhere.  Brian noticed Justin’s bandaid had come off and as he was patting Justin’s leg dry he was very careful not to rub it.  He dropped to his knees and slowing raising Justin’s leg he kissed the wound. After it was well dried he rebandaged it.  Brian turned so Justin could dry his back. He started at his shoulders and dried his back. He then dried his cheeks. He ran the towel between those cheeks.  Justin then dropped the towel and ran his fingers down the crack. As he found the little bud Brian pushed against the finger.

“Brian, you don’t have to.  I always love having you in me.”

“Not tonight. Well, it is up to you but I would love to have you in me.”

Justin took Brian’s hand and led him to the bed. He positioned Brian on his side and shifted his top leg so it was slightly bent giving him better access. First, he ran his tongue down the exposed area. He pressed his tongue in and out, moving in circles. He heard a slight moan from Brian.  Then he slowly pressed inward and his finger slid in easily. He had grabbed the lube on his way and put a little on his fingers.He slid a second finger in. He slowly rubbed against the inner sides of his asshole. As Justin did so he grazed Brian’s prostate.

“What are you doing to me? God, I need you in me.”

“Not yet!  Not until you realize how much you do for me every time we make love.”  He slid a third finger in, moving them in and out, continuing to massage his prostate.  

“Justin, please, I need you now.”

Putting on plenty of lube Justin thrust firmly and steadily into Brian. Holding his chest to Brian’s back, Justin said near to his ear, “Don’t ever pull that shit again. I won’t take it often.”

“I….love….you….Sunshine.  I promise to never leave you in the dark again. God, I love you!”  

With that he let out a moan has he lost control.  Justin held him close hearing his heart race as he pressed his ear on Brian’s back. He thrust three more times and then Justin joined Brian in the afterglow of their love.

Near midnight they made love once more.  Brian was gentle and slow, touching Justin’s body and his soul.

The morning alarm went off and Brian shut it off. He reached for Justin and he felt his warmth before he actually touched him. He scooted to the other side and pulled that naked body against him under the blankets. “This is the way I want to wake up every morning,” Brian said.  Yesterday even though I felt like shit my first instinct was that I would feel better if I had you in my arms but you weren’t there and it was all my fault.”

“What time do you need to be into work today?”

He grabbed his phone and looked at his calendar.  Cynthia had cleared the calendar until noon when he had a lunch meeting. “We have plenty of time for whatever you might be interested in.” Brian leered at Justin. “I need to leave between 10 and 10:30.”

Justin curled up next to Brian.  “How about a long shower, a VERY long shower and then breakfast?”

Brian reached down and tweaked Justin’s ass.  “Are you coming?”

At 10:15 a very content  Brian and Justin were at the front door.  “Sunshine, I will text you mid afternoon and let you know what time I will be home.” He pulled him into his arms. “Thank you.  Thank you for giving me a second chance. I love you.”

“I think we are up to fifth or sixth chance  but I am not keeping track because we can’t do this life without each other.”

The rest of the week flew by.  Justin talked to Emmett and agreed to meet next week.  Emmett had enough to get started now that they had a venue reserved, a photographer lined up, and a florist. Justin and John had finally gotten caught up with the backlog and John was now helping with emails and checking out galleries that wanted Justin’s work. Justin gave him a list of requirements so he could weed out those that aren’t a fit and then Justin will be able to do some final decisions.    He wasn’t planning a tour but had to get a couple in before the wedding drew close.

Brian had gotten a couple calls from Michael but he put him off.  He had also looked around and found an older low mile car for John.  His nephew was starting to grow on him. He could relate to John having gone through much of it himself.  He was glad he could help him out and it appeared to be going well.

He had also talked to Antony.  He would be arriving in a couple weeks.  He liked that boy. He hoped John and Antony got along.  And if they did a little experimenting that they could deal with it.  

Friday night John was going to a movie so Brian and Justin had the house to themselves.  Brian had some selling to do. He had to sell the idea that Michael should come out with Gus and JR tomorrow. He knew it might be a bit soon. Michael said he needed to talk to Justin about Rage but Justin wasn’t returning any calls.

Brian arrived home with a nice bottle of wine and Chinese from their favorite place in the city. ‘Honey, I’m Home.” Brian yelled as he came in the door.

Justin came out of the kitchen. “Glad you’re home, I’m starving.”

Brian set down the carry out and collected Justin. “ Is that the only reason you are glad I am home?”

“I can maybe think of another reason.” He reached for Brian’s crotch.”And I am thinking take out could be reheated.” He pulled Brian’s head down to his.  

Twenty minutes later they were straightening their clothes and headed to the kitchen.  Justin reheated their meal while Brian opened the wine. As they ate out of the cartons, Brian couldn’t put it off.  “Do we have any plans tomorrow? I mean Gus is coming but just checking if there is anything planned?”

“No, I thought Gus might like to help do a few things in his new room. Why, did you want to plan something?”

“Well, Michael had JR and…”

“No!”

“But Michael just wanted some adult company.  He thought JR…’’

“JR is welcome any time. I don’t want to see Michael.”

“Michael said he has been trying to get ahold of you  to talk about the new Episode of Rage.”

“Right now I am not sure there will be another episode of Rage. And Brian, have you enjoyed this week?”

“I always enjoy being with you, Justin.  You know that.”

“Well, unless you want to be spending a lot of time alone I suggest you let Michael know he is not welcome.”

Justin grabbed a jacket and went out the back door.

Brian called Michael, “Hey, Mikey.”

“What time should we get there tomorrow? Did you talk to Justin about Rage?”

“Um, Mikey, that’s not going to happen. In fact, he is putting Rage on hold for now.”

“Is this the way it is going to be? Justin making choices for you? Letting you know who you are able to hang out with?”

“Michael, don’t try to get me to pick sides because I promise you, you’ll lose everytime.