Title: Just Another Beginning…
Story Type: AU
Word Count: 4463
Rating: R, Porn…
Warnings: Passion and Lust…
Beta Queen: BigJ52
Story Summary: 513 Take Two... The lost footage of what really happened after Justin left for the airport...
Chapter Summary: Brain finds himself getting in touch with his emotions and finally letting go of his fears, while finding forgiveness deep in his heart…
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable charters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended… 
Just Another Beginning…
Chapter Three ~ Stuck in the Eye of the Storm…
I’m laying here watching him sleep and he looks so angelic, his face is absolutely faultless. His nose has that perfect square tip, and his mouth is so full and luscious it’s all I can do to stop from kissing him. Don’t even get me started about his eyes, so deep blue like the depths of the ocean, and once you’re sucked into the whirlpool there’s no getting free. He tells me everything with his eyes, as well as his mouth; he has no problem telling me anything and pretty much everything. I love that about him; he’s so open and honest. I’m learning. I really am, and I’m trying more than I ever have before.
I’m not really frightened about the idea of getting married not at all; it was my idea to begin with. What I’m afraid of is that he will change his mind. I know it’s crazy but part of me is still so insecure. I guess it’s all those times of watching him walk away. I don’t think he has any idea of just how much it hurt me each and every time. I know I should tell him, but it’s not his fault. I was a total bastard to him. But it doesn’t change the fact that I’m terrified that I’m going to wake up to a ‘Dear John’ letter or something. And who could blame him? So I lay here watching him sleep, memorizing every detail of his face and body as if I don’t already know it. It’s funny, most guys who get this panicky before their wedding are worried about being trapped in a marriage and I’m worried about being jilted at the altar. But at least this way it won’t be in front of all my family and friends. I can be humiliated in private.
I wake to Brian completely dead to the world. I could tell he was a little restless last night and couldn’t get to sleep. I know we have both been through so much in the last couple of days. I’m actually surprised that Mr. Snarky hasn’t made an appearance. But by all indications he seems to really want this, and seems to be genuinely interested in planning the details of our, oh so very private ceremony and honeymoon. After canceling our last one we decided that this time it’s all about us. Fuck the family. They had their chance to attend a big fancy wedding and most did everything they could to derail it.
Yes, it’s true I’m bitter. But was it really too much to ask that they might have been more supportive? As soon as the first thing that comes up to challenge our wedding plans they decide that I must go to New York. Everyone thinks they know what’s best for me. Did anyone even care what I wanted, or needed? Fuck Lindsay, and that goddamn magazine article. I never wanted fame and fortune - that was Ethan’s constant whining rant. All I ever wanted was to be able to express my feeling through my artwork, and hopefully be able to support myself. It is so rare that someone becomes a great artist, and even if they do, it’s usually long after they’re dead.
It’s early. I’m at the Starbucks downstairs when I hear the devastating news about Chile and the pending Tsunami. I run back to our suite as fast as I can and try to wake Brian but he’s totally out of it. I look around the suite and I’m thankful that we got in so late last night, and never unpacked. I’m pulling all our things we have sitting around the suite and stuffing them back into a suitcase. I line up all the suitcases up by the door. I’m panicked as I search for the business card the cabbie gave us last night, saying his brother chartered private flights around the island. I finally find it and grab my phone, trying to dial while I shake Brian awake at the same time. Fuck! No reception. I run out the sliding glass door that leads to the beach. Yes, we’re right on the ocean, right in the path of disaster…
Brain’s POV
I thought I heard him yelling at me, shaking me. I sit up and notice everything is all packed away and the suitcases are lined up by the door. My chest tightens and my breathing becomes rapid. I can’t breathe. I look around and he’s gone. I think I’m hyperventilating, I think I’m going to be sick. I walk through the suite and realize that he really is gone. My heart just sinks and I grab a half dozen little bottles of whiskey from the mini bar. I have the whole trio of boys to party with this morning; Jack Daniels, George Dickel and my old friend Jim Beam. I pound a bottle of each then lay back down on the bed, pulling the covers over my head and just let my tears fall. He didn’t even leave me a fucking note. Poetic justice. After all I’m the one who refused to ever show my emotions.
“Brian, get up…”
“Fuck off, Sunshine!”
“Good Morning to you too. Now please get up. We have to go.”
“You go. You go wherever the fuck it is you need to go. JUST GO!”
Well, I was wondering when Mr. Snarky was going to show up. “Brian, what’s wrong? Are you OK? Talk to me.”
I lie down next to him and put my arms around him while at the same time I’m being poked by many tiny bottles of whiskey. I pull the duvet back. I can smell the alcohol on his breath and wonder what the fuck is going on. I look into his eyes and see that he’s crying. I reach up and wipe his tears away. “Brian, tell me what’s going on. You’re really scaring me.”
He’s shaking as he asks what he did wrong this time. I realize now that he’s misinterpreting the signals of what my packing means and has no idea what’s really happening. I kiss him and tell him that I love him, but we need to leave the suite now. I calmly say, “There’s been an 8.8 earthquake in Chile and a Tsunami is headed towards Hawaii, straight towards us.”
I hand him a large cup of coffee from Starbucks and tell him I have arranged with Felix, our cabbie from last night, to take us to the airport and meet up with his brother. I have chartered a plane for us. We’ll have to decide from there where to go. Then I smile and say, “Don’t worry, you won’t be getting rid of me so easily.” And I mean it. “No fucking earthquake or tsunami is going to prevent me from marrying you.” He cracks a little smile and says, "I’m a total idiot, aren’t I?" I smile and say, “Totally."
I watch him getting dressed and drinking both large coffees I brought him from Starbucks. I realize now that he is really truly frightened that I’m going to leave him. But at least he’s letting me see what he’s feeling. I know now that even though he always acted like he wanted what was best for me, and he does, he’s been conflicted internally about what he really wants for us. He doesn’t think he deserves love. My love, so he pushes me away. Then when he actually gets an excuse to see if I’ll leave him, like with Rage and Hollywood, or now Art Forum and New York, of course I do. But I didn’t really leave this time did I? Did I?
Yes. I DID. I left, maybe not for very long, but I did leave him. Oh fuck! No wonder he’s so scared and thinks I’ll leave as soon as something better comes along. He must somehow think he’s my second choice. Which is completely ridiculous because he’s always been my first choice. Always. I’m such an idiot. I guess I’m just going to have to kill him with kindness.
God, he’s so beautiful. I can’t tell if he’s just really sleepy or drunk. He’s having a hard time putting the cap on the toothpaste. Yep, he’s drunk. Once the taste of the toothpaste hits his mouth he throws it on the floor, and spits out the sweet mess. I can’t help laughing at his expression as he looks at his toothbrush lying on the bathroom floor. I get up and find him a new one as he complains about how he thinks they should make toothpaste that tastes like Marlboros or Beam. I decide against telling him that that’s way people brush their teeth to rid themselves of those tastes. Instead I tell him that he’ll need to do some research, see if there’s a market for it. He could call it 'The Morning-After Kit' complete with whiskey mouthwash, beer nuts cereal and cologne that smells like cum.
I finally get him dressed, out the door and into the taxi and he says, "Tsunami? Did you really say that?"
"Yes, dear." He looks around questioningly. It’s a beautiful sunny day so doubt shows in his eyes. He puts his head on my shoulder and is fast asleep within minutes. I’m not really surprised. He didn’t get to sleep until an hour or so ago and then he proceeded to drink what was equal to six shots of whiskey. Damn, I wish I had given him some Motrin before he fell asleep.
Once we get to the airport we are immediately whisked off and corralled with the other travelers while they sort through all the constantly changing USGS updates and projections. All small aircraft are on restricted travel during the emergency. They finally have us set up at the army base that is also being used to ship supplies to the earthquake victims in Chile and Haiti. We’re in the barracks but it’s not real crowded. I find a quiet corner and set up our little camp, putting Brian back to sleep on the tiny cot. It’s not his big beautiful super-king sized bed at the loft, and I hope he doesn’t fall out. He’s been like a walking zombie and he just needs to sleep it off.
Brian’s POV
I wake with a monster headache and the sensation of falling, which is weird because the fucking tiny cot I’m on is practically on the ground. And I just know my back is going to be killing me as soon as my hangover lifts. I can’t help having the strangest feeling like I signed up for the army after fucking some hot recruiter I met at Babylon. Babylon. Wow, I forgot it’s a burnt-out building. Bombed just like Iraq. I try and remember what the age limit is to join the army. I think it used to be 35. I’d be too old, unless they changed it. This makes me very nervous. I look around for my Sunshine. I need something real and normal right now to help center me, but what I see doesn’t seem real, not real at all.
My mother is walking directly towards me. I must still be drunk or at least asleep. I’m having a nightmare, but she just keeps walking directly towards me. She stops and sits on the cot across from me and asks if I’m alright. I look at her and wonder why she would care, she hasn’t cared about anything I’ve done for years. The truth is I haven’t seen her in the last couple of years, she looks… better, healthy. There's a softness to her voice and I see compassion in her eyes. She’s nervous, but I can see that she’s trying.
She says, “Brian I know I’m probably the last person that you want to see, and I don’t blame you. I know I was a bad mother. I wasn’t there for you when you needed me, and I didn’t protect you when I should have. I’m an alcoholic and a drug addict. It took me a long time to admit that. I’ve been living in denial most of my adult life and I’m not proud of my behavior."
I think to myself, Wow, am I on candid camera?
She continues…
"With the help of the church and Father Thom I found my way to rehab. I spent six months at a facility that deals with long-term addictions. You see, after your father died I couldn’t cope. Even though he was a bastard and beat me regularly, it was all I knew. I didn’t know how to live without him.”
“Dr. Mitchell prescribed some Valium to help me get through those first few months. Then I just continued using it to cope, until one day Father Thom stopped by to see why I missed church. He found me passed out in the bathroom. I hit my head and was unconscious."
"I probably would have died if he hadn’t found me. I owe my life to him in so many ways, both him and his boyfriend Kyle. I’ve come a long ways, Brian and I now know life exists outside of the pages of the Bible. We don’t get to choose who we fall in love with.”
“I was with Father Thom when he met Kyle, and I could see the attraction in their eyes and watched their love grow over these last years. Kyle was working with local church groups organizing food and clothing drives for national disaster victims. I needed something to focus my energy towards. I don’t expect you to forgive me for all my past behaviors. But I’m hoping that you will accept that I’ve changed, and I would very much like to be part of your life, should you choose to allow me to."
"You know I’m still a fag…"
"Yes, Brian, I know. I just had lunch with your fiancée. He really is a wonderful young man and he loves you very much. I’m sorry I couldn’t see how beautiful your love for each other was before, but I can now and I hope you’ll forgive me.”
She smiles and takes my hand saying, “I think you need a shower and something to eat. You’ll feel better after you’re all cleaned up and fed."
I stand under the spray of the warm water as it flows over my skin while my mother’s confession sinks in. This is the last thing I expected to hear, ever, from her lips. It’s hard for me to remain angry with her. She’s a victim as much as I was. She got knocked up at fifteen, forced to marry a man who had no intentions of being a good husband or father. A man who beat her for just existing and ruining his life. I realize now that she was a terrified child just like me, trying to cope and survive another day.
I walk out of the barracks and see my mother talking with one of the doctors. He has his arm around her shoulders and seems to be comforting her. She looks up and smiles as they walk towards me. She says, "Brian, I would like you to meet my husband. This is Dr. Miles Bennett."
She blushes and says, "We just got married this morning at sunrise." I don’t think I’ve ever seen my mother smile before today, and she truly looks happy. I’m beginning to see her in a completely different way now, and I’m glad she’s finally found someone to share her life with.
He explains, "We met over a year ago when Joan started volunteering to work with disaster victims. She’s been traveling with the church group around the world, helping out. I just kept running into her everywhere, and I couldn’t help but notice how good she was with the orphaned children.”
“It was like she was trying to make up for all her past mistakes, and finally one night she told me about her past. I couldn’t help but see the good in her, and her longing to be loved. As they say the rest is history. I hope you find it in your heart to forgive your mother for her past mistakes."
I find Justin packing supplies to be shipped and distributed to earthquake victims. He smiles and asks if I survived my wake-up call. I pull him close and say, "I would have preferred a different kind of wake-up call, but I survived and I’m actually happy for my mother."
I spend the rest of the afternoon helping Sunshine pack up boxes of supplies and load them onto planes waiting to depart. The USGS has updated the tsunami projections and it appears that we are missing the eye of the storm, but that can’t be said for others. If someone had told me that I would be getting married on the same day as my mother I would have told them that they were crazy. I couldn’t have imagined that either one of us would ever be getting married.
But here I stand with my Sunshine, barefoot, wearing our Hawaiian shirts and faded blue jeans. We're on the beach, just before midnight, in front of a large roaring fire with fresh leis around our necks. Pots of shellfish are boiling on the fire, with corn on the cob and baked potatoes roasting in the coals. It’s just the six of us, Father Thom, Kyle Jefferies, my mom and her new husband, Mrs. Joan and Dr. Miles Bennett, Justin and Myself.
Justin would say it was fate and I’m beginning to believe him, because there is no other way to explain the past several days. We exchange rings and vows by firelight as my Mom, Kyle and Justin cry through the whole ceremony. I’m not the least bit frightened anymore, this just feels right. For the first time in my life I feel like everything is going to be alright, and I can face anything with him at my side. I bend over and wipe his tears away, and take him in my arms, kissing him passionately, until I remember we have an audience. I slowly let him slip from my arms and look up and see them all smiling like idiots at us. Yes, everything is going to be alright, more than alright.
After our seafood fest Father Thom gives Justin and I a wedding present of matching pendants that represent life. I notice that my mother and Dr. Bennett are both wearing the same accessories and Father Thom says it’s something he gives all the couples he marries. They’re supposed to represent a long happy life together. I like them, they’re plain and simple and so ridiculously romantic I can tell that Justin loves everything it represents. I sit looking at him. He’s so beautiful and I can’t believe that he’s actually my husband, all nice, neat and legal.
This has to be one of the strangest days of my life. I feel like everything in my life is finally calm and under control. I don’t have that crazy feeling like I need to hide within myself anymore, and it’s okay to be just what I am. I don’t have to try and be someone that everyone expects me to be anymore. I’m finally comfortable in my own skin.
Egyptian Jewelry
The famous "cross of life", as it was called by its contemporaries, probably did not represent a cross, but rather a loose knot, like on a belt or a sandal strap. In the long list of hieroglyphs, this sign stood for the words "life" and "to live". It was pronounced "ankh" in ancient Egyptian.
Dr. Bennett has arranged for us to stay at a colleague’s house that’s on the small island of Ni’ihau. It’s a beautiful house right on the ocean, near a little town of mostly locals with small shops and restaurants. The house is very modern with lots of windows and skylights allowing in the natural light. I know that Justin will appreciate it once, or should I say, if I ever let him out of the bedroom.
He’s been in the bathroom for a little while and I’m starting to wonder if it’s possible that he might he anxious, which seems ridiculous because sex is not a place we have ever had problems communicating. So as I wait for my nervous bride I set up a champagne bucket and glasses. I even pick some flowers from the garden outside and arrange them in a vase on the dresser. I find some candles and place them around the room so it glows and flickers to create a romantic mood.
While waiting I pound a couple of glasses of champagne and finally roll a joint. I can’t imagine what he’s doing in there, but I’m determined to give him all the time and space he needs. I’m pretty stoned by the time he calls to me and asks if I mind waiting for him in the living room. I’m thinking ‘Sunshine, I’m already naked and lying on the bed.’ I even made an attempt at romance, but of course I agree. So I grab the champagne and run downstairs. I’m about to go back for a couple of candles when I hear the bathroom door open, so I dive onto the sofa and reach over and push the automatic fireplace button. God, I love these new gas fireplaces…
He emerges at the top of the big grand staircase that leads to the formal living room. I watch him start to descend the stairs and notice that he looks like a lithe lacey leather vixen. I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited in my life. He’s wearing a pair of incredibly soft and supple creamy white suede leather boots that go all the way up his thighs and nothing else but a very long creamy white lace veil that’s leaving a long train behind him as he walks down the stairs.
Fuck! I think I might actually cum in my shorts. I’d put on a pair a black silk boxers that I spotted as I was running down the stairs that Justin must have set out for me. I’m hard and my pants are definitely damp as he makes his way towards me. I think this is the fucking hottest thing I have ever seen. He climbs up onto my lap like a cat about to eat its prey. I can see now that he has on mascara and pale pink lip gloss, but it isn’t too much. It’s just enough to make me absolutely lose my mind. I attack his mouth and run my hands over his body, feeling him through all the silky lace.
He moans into my ear as he rubs himself against my satin underwear. The sensation he’s creating is driving us both close to the edge, as we frantically kiss and grind into each other. I reach up and put my arms around him, as I lift him off my lap and place him on the floor in front of the fire. He already has his hands inside the waistband of my shorts, pulling them off like a wanton schoolboy.
I feel the soft leather of his boots as they slide around my waist and hold me tight. He arches his back and pokes me in the belly with his stout cock. I feel his juices leaking and running down my stomach, as he wiggles and hands me some cherry-flavored designer lube. It’s incredibly thin and yet extremely slippery. I place kisses down his chest while I lift his legs up onto my shoulders. I take his plump head into my mouth and gently circle my tongue around his ridge. At the same time I glide my very slippery fingers into him and work his beautiful rosebud, feeling him slowly relax. He writhes and moans as he releases his muscles and lets himself go completely, opening up for me and my long cock.
I look down into his eyes as he encourages me to take him. I tease him a little by starting to penetrate him just an inch or so and then pulling back. Even just that little bit is more than enough for both of us to almost completely lose ourselves. The sensation of skin against skin as I enter him is unlike anything close to what I have ever imagined. I’m worried that I’m going to cum before I completely penetrate him. I feel just like an adolescent boy losing his virginity.
I hear him whisper, “I love you more than life itself." I look down into his eyes and notice that he’s crying. I worry that I’ve hurt him, but he just smiles and tells me he’s never felt more beautiful in his life. I tell him I love him too and I apologize in advance, because I’m sure I won’t last long once I start fucking him with abandon. He just smiles saying, "Good. I can’t wait to feel your seed filling me. I’ve wanted this from the very first night we were together. I’ve fantasized about this every time you’ve ever fucked me."
This seems to ground me as I start to move in and out of him. Our moans and groans are so loud I’m sure that this must have been what Adam and Steve felt, and sounded like the first time in the garden of good and evil. We both find our own rhythm as we become familiar with our new-found sensations. I start to take him good and hard, feeling him surrender to me as his muscles clench down on me. I reach down and take his leaking shaft in my hand and work him as he tips over the edge. I try to hold back, watching him quiver and quake as he rides out his orgasm, wave after wave.
He’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ve never felt more loved than I do right now. I can’t stop bucking as I’m no longer in control of my own orgasm. I feel him clenching and releasing my cock with his strong rectal muscles. Like a small child suckling his mother, he pulls all my sperm from me, leaving me exhausted and flaccid. I collapse on top of him and actually fall asleep for a few seconds before I finally roll off of him, pulling him close to me. He whispers to me, "If I died right now I wouldn’t have any complaints." I whisper, “I would.” I feel him smile against my chest and know that this is definitely fate. No random coincidence here, this is meant to be.
TBC…
