CHAPTER 1

The double emergency doors were flung open as the gurney was rushed through. Medics and nurses hand pumping oxygen to an unconscious Justin.

‘We have 2 males, one in serious condition, suspected overdose of morphine, the other male is DOA.

‘Who called it in?’

‘The home nurse. She called 911 immediately and administered CPR, but was unable to resuscitate the older man’

‘Prep an IV of Naloxone!’

‘Yes doctor!’

‘Pupils are non responsive, pulse is there but weak’

‘On three. 1...2… 3’ Justin was lifted off the gurney and on the theatre bed, and an oxygen mask placed over his face. The nurse injected the drug and felt for a pulse again

‘Pulse is steady’

‘Keep oxygen up and monitor vitals’

‘Yes Doctor’

‘Name of the patient?’

‘The nurse who responded reports this is Justin Taylor, name of the deceased male is Brian Kinney. The deceased was in advanced stages of a brain tumor. Morphine was prescribed for pain management’

‘And Mr Taylor?’

‘No health problems that we know of’

Justin’s eyes blinked open, and he squinted, trying to adjust to the light. Was this it? Was he in heaven? Had he died? He couldn’t feel his body. Slowly, his senses began to focus, and what began as a dull noise, started to become clearer. He felt a warmth in his hand then, and smiling to himself, he turned his head, expecting to see Brian. But looking at him with a tear streaked face was his mom, and just behind her, Daphne. Both woman looked exhausted and they’d been crying for a long time.

‘Oh sweetheart, you’re awake’

‘Justin?’ Daphne looked hopeful

‘Brian’

The woman exchanged a glance before looking at him. Jennifer shook her head.

Justin’s reaction was instant. He sat bolt upright in bed, dislodging his mom’s hand, and half rolled, jumped off the bed. Yanking the I.V out his arm. Not caring about the pain it caused. He pushed the IV hook and bag to the floor with a clash, and just grabbed at anything he could reach, tossing it aside

‘Justin! Daphne, get help!’  Jen wanted to reach for her son, but knew better.

Within moments security and nurses rushed into the room, and had him restrained, so he couldn’t hurt himself or anyone else

‘Get off me!!’ 

‘Mr Taylor, please calm down’

‘Nooo, Get your fucking hands off me! Let me GO! He tried to yank himself free, but couldn’t, so he tried kicking, until they got him back on the bed, restraints were wrapped round his wrists and secured while he thrashed around on the bed. The security men held his legs down, while the nurse sedated him.

‘Justin! Please listen to them, honey. Please calm down’

The sedative worked fast, and his muscles relaxed. His head rolled side to side, and he closed his eyes, chanting No, no, no.

‘Mrs Taylor, as you know, Justin had overdosed on opioids in suicide attempt. His withdrawal will cause unpredictable reactions. I’m sorry you had to see that’

‘Will that happen again?’ Daphne asked

‘Maybe, maybe not. However, we may need to keep him restrained, just for his own safety as much as everyone else’s. Withdrawal symptoms can vary in individuals. Mrs Taylor. Was your son taking any other medications?’

‘Not currently’

‘We do need to be aware of any other drugs in his system, that may have interacted with the morphine.

Your son doesn’t usually have violent outbursts for any reason?’

‘No…well he did as a teenager, but that wasn’t anything to do with drugs’

‘Can I see you outside for a minute? Daphne, you’ll be ok so long as his restraints are on’

The doctor walked outside with Justin’s mom, and had her standing so her back was to Justin’s room window.

‘I understand that your son was in a relationship with the deceased who came in with him’

‘Brian, yes’

‘The news that his partner has passed, is going to be hard for him to hear. I can make a suggestion, but it’s up to the both of you to decide if you’ll do it.’

‘Anything to help my son’

‘I recommend counseling for Justin. Speaking to someone can help to process what he’ll no doubt be feeling. He shouldn’t bottle his feelings’

‘I’ll take it into consideration Doctor. Justin is an intelligent young man. He doesn’t abuse drugs. But your staff need to know how much these men loved each other. The last 6 months have been extremely hard for them’

‘Of course. The home nurse has told me that she often witnessed the affection between them’

‘When my son first met Brian, I thought he was too old for Justin. But he quickly proved how protective he was, how affectionate. My ex husband couldn’t cope when he found out Justin was Gay. He abandoned us. That took a lot out of Justin. Although he‘d never admit it. He loved his father.’

‘How are you Mrs Taylor? Have you someone new in your life?’

Jen was a bit thrown off by the personal question, but she mentally shrugged it off.

‘Yes. I re married. Justin’s step father is very accepting of his life’

‘Good. He’ll need a strong male figure in his life’

‘Doctor, my son is a man, not a child. He’s stronger then you think’

‘Physically maybe. Your son is well built it’s clear, but mentally…’

‘Doctor…with respect, you don’t know my son. You don’t understand what he’s had to learn to deal with’ she points behind her at her son. ‘That man on that bed, is the strongest man I’ve ever known. But his heart? Is laying in the morgue’

Daphne was stroking the hair off her friend’s eyes. It was getting long again. She didn’t know what to say. Justin lay silently sobbing, and couldn’t wipe away the pain. She thought she knew how he felt. But then how could she?  She bent down and wrapped her arms round him and lay her head on his chest.

‘Daph, please don’t’ He sounded broken inside. She sat up again, sighed, and took his hand.

‘Is this ok?’

‘….no. Please just…don’t touch me. Sorry’

‘Do you want me to leave?’

Justin just nodded, and looked away from her. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but he just needed to be alone.

Daphne stood, and left her friend. Gave him the little privacy he had left here. She joined Jen and the doctor outside.

‘He wants to be alone. I wouldn’t touch him by the way’

‘It’s Daphne yes?’

‘Yes’

‘I’ve been discussing options with Justin’s mom for his release and mental support’

‘He can move in with me for a while’

‘Daphne that’s sweet of you to offer honey, but he’d be better off with his family’

‘Actually Mrs Taylor, while you’re right about family, having friends close, is also beneficial. Someone his own age. And instead of making that decision for him, he’s the one that should decide where he wants to be’ Jen looked offended

‘Excuse me?’

‘Well as you said, he’s a grown man. He needs to make that decision himself’

‘He’s my son!’

‘He’s also an adult’ the Intercom called for him and he excused himself and left

Jen looked at Daphne, who had to avert her eyes

Justin lay listening to his heart beat. But it shouldn’t be. How did he have a right to live when ….

He closed his eyes and took a couple deep breaths. Felt …rage, bubbling inside him again. He tried to sit, but his wrists were restrained, so he slumped again. The room door opened a bit, and he heard his mother

‘But he’s not dangerous’

‘He tried to commit suicide Mrs Taylor’ the door shut again blocking out the voices

‘I know that nurse. Thankyou’

‘My orders are, he’s not to be undone till the drug is out his system. I’m sorry. You witnessed what happened when he woke. There’s no certainty he won’t have another violent reaction’

‘When can he be released?’

‘He has to be on suicide watch now. Possibly for months. But we can release him at the end of the week’

Justin had been released about 3 days later. He become very quiet, and hardly spoke to anyone. He’d moved in with Daphne. The funeral was going to be on Friday, and he was dreading it. He was pissed off at everyone, because they ‘thought’ he’d be too emotional to handle the planning.

‘You sure I can’t get you a drink, or something to eat?’

He shook his head no, and picked at his fingernails,

‘Well I’ve got to get to work. But if you want, there’s food in the fridge, and make yourself a coffee or something ok. I’ll call at lunch time too’

‘Thanks’ She looked at her friend, walked over and gave him a hug, then was gone

He glanced sideways at the kitchen when he heard the door close, and got up. Wondered over to the cutlery drawer, and pulled it open. He saw what he was looking for straight away, and pulled out the pairing knife. It was short, and had a curved edge. It’s blade caught the reflection of the sun as he inspected it, and the glare caught his eyes for a second.

He walked through to the bathroom with the knife in hand, and stared at himself in the mirror, before climbing into the empty bath and sitting down. He rolled up a sleeve, and pressed the blade to his wrist lightly. It was cold and smooth. He applied a little more pressure on the edge of the knife, but didn’t break the skin.

Clenching his fist, he takes a couple shaky breaths with closed eyes, and throws the knife on the floor.

He could picture Brian in his mind. Remembering the first night they met.

It was a cool night, and there were people everywhere. What the hell was he doing here he thought. Told my mum I was at a friend’s house. But he wanted to be out. He felt trapped in his house. He approached a man and asked for directions, but shied away when the man offered take him to his house. There was something off about him, so he moved on. Leaning against a lamp post for a second. He locked eyes with the most beautiful man he’s ever seen. His heart rate increased when the man came over to him. He radiated confidence, he smelt like sex on legs

That moment changed everything.

Justin opened his eyes, when he heard a noise, but no one was in the house.

Closing them again, he remembered the first time he arrived at Brian’s loft. The place was huge. Like it had been decorated by an Italian designer. He watched as Brian stripped off his cloths in front of him, and was saying something about ‘coming or going, or coming and staying, and shut the door’ Then offering him drugs.

He should have left. But he didn’t. Next thing he knew the man was kissing him so deeply, he never wanted to leave.

They were making love…or at least loosing his virginity when Brian’s phone rang. Brian’s focus on the call, absent mindedly was stroking him and the sensations were getting too much to handle, so he shot his load all over Brian. Earning him a scornful look, and an ‘All over my duvet’ comment. He tried to defend himself by saying he should see his sheets at home.

Next memory was of the boys, Brian, himself and Michael running in the hospital, then Justin discovering that Brian, was now a father to a son.

Then Brian dropping Justin off at school, after they’d gone back to his loft,  had sex again, and he’d stayed the night.

He couldn’t help but laugh when a Jock scrambled off in embarrassment after Brian told him something about his balls.

Daphne had been waiting on the steps for him, and he told her, ‘he’d just seen the face of a god’

Justin was startled out of his memory trip by a phone ringing. He was in no hurry to get to it, but he climbed out the bath and wondered out to the lounge. He got to his phone, just as it stopped ringing, and saw that it had been from Melanie. He hit re-dial,  and she picked up after 2 rings.

‘Justin?’

‘Ya Mel. What is it?’

‘Hi honey, how you feeling?’

‘Been better’

‘I’m sure. Listen sweetie, I have something I need to tell you, and I know this isn’t the best time to do so, but there will never be a good time. So you listening?’

‘Yeah’ Justin flopped on the couch

‘The coroner’s report has come through. And there’s been some debate on Brian’s side of the family, that you gave him a lethal injection’

‘They think I killed him?’

‘I’m sorry Justin, but yes. They want a hearing’

‘I don’t fucking believe this!’

‘I’m willing to represent you honey. Pro bono’

Anger began to build in Justin, and he got up, started pacing. He didn’t want to trash Daphne’s house, but he needed to hit something.

‘Justin? Are you there?’

‘Melanie, I did kill him, he asked me to’

Mel was silent for a moment as she processed this

‘You’re confessing to murder?’

‘I’m confessing to involuntary manslaughter’

‘Ohhh Justin Sweetie. I don’t know if I can protect you from serving time then. If you do, it could be reduced, but if you tell the hearing what you just told me, they may not see it the same way. Do you have any witnesses?’

‘No’

‘Ok well I’m going to do everything I can to protect you ok. Justin, I KNOW you didn’t murder Brian, and so does everyone else. Ok? We’ll protect you as much as possible’

‘Thanks Mel’

‘I’ve got to go now, but I’ll be in touch ok? Bye, Sunshine’

They hung up and Justin sighed. Why couldn’t he have died like Brian

CHAPTER 2

Daphne returned home to find Justin on her couch, exactly where he was when she left in the morning. She set down her bags, and went down to sit next to him. And offered her hand. He took it and she squeezed.

‘Have you moved at all today?

‘I’m being accused of murder Daph’ She raised her eyebrows at him in shock

‘What? By who?

‘Brian’s family’

‘But you didn’t!’

‘I did. He asked me to’ she swivels to face him more

‘But, ok. I remember this from school. Murder is taking someone’s life against their will, and uh, …manslaughter is involuntary right?’

‘Only if it was an accident. Brian begged me for it’

‘Oh god’

‘I don’t know what I’m going to do. Melanie says she can help reduce my sentence’

‘I’m sure they’ll understand’

Justin stood. Angry at himself

‘I KILLED him Daphne!’ she stands too and grabs him by the shoulders.

‘No, you didn’t! the cancer did!’

Something dawned on Justin then. Could he use that as a defense? Voluntary euthanasia?

Because he couldn’t plead insanity. He knew exactly what he was doing

He rang Melanie back, but got her voice mail

‘Hey Mel, It’s Justin. Just wanted to know if I was able to plead voluntary manslaughter by request of the deceased’ he hangs up.

‘Justin, we’ll get through this. I promise. I believe you’

Friday came around faster than he thought it would, and he was dreading it. He stood staring at the suit he wore. The suit Brian had bought him. A dark charcoal grey, with a cream silk shirt. His mom stood behind him.

‘He’d have loved it honey. You look beautiful’

‘I don’t know if I can do this mom.’

‘Yes you can. And I’ll be right by your side the entire time’

‘I’m so scared’ he turns and his mom pulls him into her arms, stroking his head gently

‘Shh, it’s ok.’

‘Stop saying it’s ok! Everyone keeps telling me it’s ok! It’s not!. Brian’s gone, and I’m facing murder charges!’

‘Shhh shh.’

‘I don’t think I’ll ever be ok.’

The chapel was quiet. On one side, was a few members of Brian’s immediate family, with his mom and Claire in the front row, and her kids in the row behind. On the other side, were Brian’s friends and some business associates. All come to pay their respects to the man laying in the mahogany casket up front.

It was a closed casket. It had been decided that although the under takers, had put makeup on him, his body still looked like it had been in a war.

Justin was ushered to the front row, and sat beside Debbie, who immediately took his hand in hers, and Emmett sat on his other side, and did the same thing.

Soft music was playing in the background, while photos were projected onto the wall. Justin fought back the tears in his eyes, but they came anyway.

The emcee gave a nice speech, highlighting Brian’s achievements and recalling memories his friend’s wanted included. Then Claire got up. Although Justin wasn’t sure she had a right too. Followed by his mother. Justin wanted to kick them both out. In the last 10 years, they didn’t want anything to do with their son/brother. How did they have the right to be here. And now they wanted Justin accused. He glared at them both as they spoke. They couldn’t look at him though.

It was Justin’s turn then to get up and speak. He’d had little time to prepare. But he spoke from the heart of his love and loss. Debbie was sobbing with tissues to her eyes, as was Emmet and Michael

The procession followed to the cemetery, and more speeches were made, then the casket was lowered into the ground, with white lilies being thrown in on top

Daphne hissed beside Justin.

‘My hand!’ he realized he was squeezing her hand so tight he was grinding her bones.

‘Sorry’ He let her go, and she pulled him into a side hug.

‘And as we commit his body to the ground, and his soul to god…’

Brian’s mother muttered under her breath, ‘Commit his soul to damnation for his sins’

but Justin heard, and he glared at her. She was trying his patience

He pulled her aside later on and hissed

‘I you send me to Jail for this, you WILL regret it. Your son loved me, and I him. What in the HELL makes you think I’d want to hurt him, when you disowned him. Cancer killed Brian. Not me’

‘Listen to me you little twit, you injected that poison into my son! You just get yourself a damn good lawyer’

He stood tall. He was about an inch taller then her now, and he used it ‘I already have. Do you?’

Leaving her seething behind him he strode to his car, and was about to open the door, when Michael tapped him on the arm.

‘Justin wait’ he turns to face Michael

‘What?’

‘I know I haven’t always been the nicest to you, and I am sorry. But please know that I’m on your side. Brian never would have asked if he didn’t love you’

Justin tries to turn again, but Michael stops him.

‘I really am sorry’

‘Take care of Ben, Michael.’

He slides into the car, and drives off

‘Hello?’

‘Justin, it’s Mel. We have a date for the hearing’

‘Uh huh’

‘Monday, 10 am. I actually have a pretty solid defense for you, and we have the coroner’s report to be used as evidence, as well as his cancer records. So honey, I’m feeling positive about this.’

‘So what’s my plea?’

‘Involuntary manslaughter, an intent to relieve pain, but not to kill. Negligence to properly dose prescribed medication, resulting in death. I can get a reduced sentence’

‘So either way I’m going to Jail? I’ll have a criminal record for the rest of my life’

‘I can’t change that, honey, I’m sorry’

‘I know Mel. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can. And wisdom to know the difference’

‘What?’

‘Just something I read recently’

‘Oh’

‘I mean, I can’t bring Brian back. But I can move on with my life. It’s what he’d want’

‘That’s it honey. There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel’

‘Just don’t let it be a train right?’ Mel laughs, then apologizes

‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh’

‘It’s fine. I’ll deal with the consequences. Whatever they are’

‘Brian loved you. He really did. We all do’

‘I know’

‘Get some rest, and I’ll see you on Monday;

They hang up, and Justin takes a long drink of the vodka

Monday came round. And Justin had spent a large part of the weekend drinking, until Daphne had enough and snatched the bottle off him, and poured it down the sink. Reminding him, he needed to be sober for his hearing. Being drunk at a murder hearing would not sit well with the judge.

But of course, he now had a headache, and Daphne had to practically dress him herself, and get him out the door. After she made him drink a full cup of coffee.

The drive to the rooms – Daphne refused to let Justin drive – was quiet. Once they got there they were directed to the right room, Daphne was told to sit at the back, while Justin had to take a seat, center front. Claire was there. Her mom wasn’t. and Brian’s friends were taking their seats in the back. Mel came to sit beside Justin.

‘Breath Justin. We have a good judge today’

‘I’m drunk Mel…a little’

‘Why? You knew this was coming’

‘That’s why’

She rolled her eyes ‘Ok, well let me talk for you where possible’

‘Thanks’

The judge came out the back rooms, and sat in his chair, gestured for the congregation to ‘be seated. Hearing is now in session’

‘The defendant, Mr Justin Taylor, who represents you?’

‘I do your honor, Melanie Marcus’

The accusations were laid out, evidence presented. Justin wanted to laugh when Claire stood and tried to accuse Justin of murder. But he didn’t. –Reaaaaaaaaly not a good look. Drunk at court. He’d go away for life- so he kept his mouth shut like Mel said, until the Judge addressed him directly

‘Mr Taylor, how do you plea?’

‘Guilty’ There were gasps behind him, and he heard Debbie shriek, but stayed facing front. Claire grinned maniacally. He glared, and she shrunk back from him. If looks could kill…

‘The court finds Mr Taylor Guilty of involuntary manslaughter, as a result negligent medication administration. You will serve 10 months imprisonment, and pay a grievance fine to the Kinney household. This case is closed’

‘So that’s it then. Thanks Mel for trying’

‘I’m sorry Justin. It’s the best I could do’

‘Sir Hands behind your back please’ The policeman cuffed Justin and he was lead past his friends, in various states of shock. He was assisted into the back of the police car, and headed off to deal with the next 10 months.

Once at the station, he was escorted to a processing area where he was told to strip, and a prison jumpsuit was issued to him. His mug shot was taken with inmate number 247819 held in front of him. He was then led to a cell block, where he was to spend the next few months with a black man. About 58, well built and bald. He huddled in a ball on the bench in the corner, and tried to make himself invisible.

‘What you in for kid?’

‘I’m not a kid’

‘No. S’pose not, wouldn’t be here otherwise. Don’t tell me if you don’t want’

‘I killed my fiancé’

‘Man I’m sorry’

‘why are you here?’

‘Armed robbery My name’s Tyson. Call me Ty’

‘Justin’

‘You’re safe in here. I won’t harm you’ Justin glances at him, then stares at the wall

‘What was she like?’

‘Who?’

‘Your girl’

Should he tell this man he just met he was gay? He didn’t know him. On the other hand, maybe he would put him out his misery…

‘I’m gay’

‘…Oh. And your fiancé was…’

‘A man’

‘Oh. Did I know him?’

‘How the fuck should I know. Can we just not talk please’

Tyson nodded and rolled back on his own bench

‘I have nothing against gay men Justin. I mean it. When you need to talk, I’ll listen’

Lunch came around 12, but Justin didn’t eat. Just pushed the food around the plate a bit before pushing the whole thing away from him.

‘It’s not that bad. They’re not going to poison you here’

‘Not hungry’

‘You loved him a lot. I can tell’

‘Yeha’

‘So don’t beat yourself up over it. I’m sure he loved you too’

‘So much so, he had me kill him’ Justin clamped his hand over his mouth. It was out before he could stop himself. Tyson just watched him. Encouraged him silently. Justin drops his hand. Giving in.

‘He had cancer. Was in so much pain by the end, he begged for me to end it’

‘So the way I see it, is he was ready to go, and he asked the one person he loved the most to give him one last gift. To be free of pain’

Tyson and Justin spent the rest of the afternoon opening up, and they found they had a fair bit in common. Tyson had lost his girlfriend in a car accident a couple years ago, thanks to a bad drug deal

Sleeping on a thin mattress, on a steel bench didn’t give Justin a good night sleep. He almost fell off a couple times through the night, and Tyson snored.

But when he was about to roll of a third time, hands pushed at his hip and shoulder, steadying him. He opened his eyes to look at his cell mate crouched beside his ‘bed’

‘You learn to lay still’

‘You’re touching me’

‘Sorry’ he began to back away,

‘No, wait’ He pushes himself to sitting, and taps the bench beside him.  ‘I can’t sleep anyway’

‘First night does that to most’ He sits beside Justin

‘’Most straight guys I know avoid being within touching distance to gay man’

‘Never said I was straight’

‘Tyson…’

‘Ty’

‘Ty…what’s going on here?’

‘Nothing. I stopped you from falling of the bed’

‘So you weren’t…’

‘No’

‘I’m sorry. I have a hangover, and I’m screwed in my heat at the moment. Dealing with a lot of shit’

‘Aren’t we both?’ He taps Justin on the knee. ‘Get some rest’

They both lay back down on their respective beds, and doze off

The morning came with the prison guard switching on the lights and shouting time to get up. Justin rubbed at his eyes, and sat up, cracking his neck and his back. Tyson was on the floor doing push ups

‘Morning…Justin…36…’

‘Morning’

‘Care to join me down here?’

‘Not right now. Tys…Ty, you were saying something last night…’

’42…yeah? 44..’

‘You said you weren’t straight’

‘That’s right …47’

‘What are you?’

’49, 50.’ Tyson stops his push up’s and kneels, looking at his new cell mate ‘I’m bisexual’

He rolls to his back, and commences crunches

‘Is it safe to be ‘out’ in here?’

‘It’s …not dangerous….but…mind…who…you …tell’

‘Within earshot here queer!’ a voice from the next cell calls

‘Shut…up…Eddie’

‘Can’t protect him forever Tyson. New meat is mine!’

‘I can handle myself!’ Tyson stops his sit ups, and indicates Justin be quiet with a cutting motion across his throat. Justin swallows.

CHAPTER 3

Out in the common area, Justin stuck close to Tyson. Inmates stood aside to let him pass. He had clearly earned respect here. That both comforted him and scared him at the same time.

Ty subtly pointed out Eddie over in a far corner. A large Hispanic man with tats all down his arms, and a well trimmed beard with side burns. Ty lowered his voice to a whisper.

‘Do NOT piss him off. He’s dangerous’

‘What he do?’

‘Double murder’

The reality of his situation was beginning to sink in. Out on the streets, it could get bad, but it was mostly verbal. In here it was actually dangerous. He worked out, but there were some large men here.

Tyson led him to a table, and they sat down on the table itself rather than the chairs. Justin aware there were a lot of eyes on him. He was used to that. But he suspected they weren’t looking at him cause of his looks.

‘You’re a pretty boy. That’s not always a good thing here’

‘Yo! Bulldog!’ a man acknowledged Tyson and moved on. Ty nodded in response

‘Bulldog?’

‘Prey you never find out. Justin, I’m going to do something. Don’t freak out, you’ll thank me later’

‘Wha…Ahh!!’ Tyson grabbed him by the crotch and squeezed, then with the same hand cupped the back of his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. Just a quick one. A peck. But it was enough to earn wolf whistles and cheers from the inmates

‘The fuck?’

‘in here there’s hierarchy. I’m top dog. I’ve claimed you, effectively. So no one should mess with you’

‘Including Eddy?’

‘He’ll try. He always does. Sorry I had to do that. You ok?’

‘I’ll recover’

‘It won’t happen again.’

‘uh huh’

The inmates spent the next 2 hours ‘free range’. A few made passes at Justin, but backed off after a look from Ty. The man didn’t leave Justin’s side for a minute. But then the bell went. And everyone was escorted back to their cells.

Eddy sneered as he was pushed back in his cell.

This time however, Ty and Justin sat on the same bench. There was space between them, but they were within reaching distance.

‘So, Justin. Tell me about him. If you want. No pressure’’

He took a breath.

‘His name was Brian’

‘How did you meet?

Justin explained everything. Right up to Brian’s brain cancer and his death. Tyson stayed respectfully quiet, occasionally nodding.

‘And his sister and mother got you thrown in here’ Justin nodded. ‘They don’t sound to me like very nice people’

‘It’s why Brian found it so hard to tell me he loved me. He didn’t know how. He showed me in other ways. I just couldn’t see it’

‘Hence Ethan’

‘Hence Ethan. But he…told lies, to get what he wanted. Brian never lies…lied. It took me nearly being killed’

‘Justin, I’m, sorry. You shouldn’t be here’

‘Well I am. I’m here, because he’s not’   

‘If there’s anything I can do to help, let me know’ 

‘Did you earn your reputation cause of what you did to me?’

‘Again I’m sorry, but yes. That’s part of it’

Justin closed his eyes and leant back against the wall. Ty got up and moved to his own bench.

Later that evening, Justin had dozed off, and was dreaming. He saw Brian smiling at him, arms open, inviting him into a hug. Brian pulled back slightly to kiss him softly. He looked so radiant, and happy.

‘Sunshine’

‘Brian. I miss you so much’

‘I know. I miss you too’

‘How am I supposed to live without you? I wanted to come with you. I tried’

‘I know. But it wasn’t your time. That’s why I sent Anne’

‘YOU sent her?’

‘I did. I didn’t let you cut your wrist either’

A tear fell from Justin’s eye.

‘You saved my life from the grave’

‘You’re not ready yet sunshine. I’ll be here when you are, but not yet. Trust Tyson. He’s a good man. Now…’ Brian grinned. ‘Come, make love to me’

Subconsciously, Justin’s hand went south, and under his pants, grabbed himself, and started to stroke.

Tyson opened an eye and glanced in Justin’s direction when he heard him moan. He saw where his had was and chuckled to himself. He idly considered going over and helping him, but decided not to. This –pup- of his hardly knew him. There was plenty time for that.

Justin’s hand started to move faster as his memory fed him images of his love. Brian was slowly stripping, giving him a show. Slowly undid each button on his shirt and removed it entirely, exposing satin smooth skin. He wanted so badly to touch, as he continued to stroke. Brian’s hands slid to his waistband, digging his thumbs in

As Tyson watched, his own want twitched in his pants. He tried to ignore it. But who was he kidding, it was a response to stimulus after all.

Brian pushed at his pants, and Justin tugged harder, getting more worked up

Tyson’s hand rested on his crotch, not moving

Justin arched his back, he was so close.

Brian pushed his pants off his hips, exposing himself. Standing to attention like a soldier.

That was all it took for Justin. He convulsed and released in silence

‘My sunshine. So beautiful. Trust in Tyson’-

Shit- Justin’s eyes flew open, and he ripped his hand out his pants, looking over at the other bunk. Tyson was obviously awake, but looking away

‘Sorry Ty’

‘Don’t be. Seen more in here then a hand job’ Justin blushed. He was glad it was dark.

‘I miss him’

‘I know pup, I know’

They both fell asleep again after that, and didn’t stir till sunrise. But Justin woke with a hard on, and he didn’t want to alert Tyson. So carefully he swung his legs over the bench and sat up. Tyson was already doing his push ups

‘Do you do that every day?’

‘Do you get a boner every morning?’-fuck- he covered his crotch with his hands. ‘Justin …I said… don’t… stress’

‘Brian came to me last night. Actually he comes most night since…Sounds crazy, but he keeps telling me to trust you’

Ty flips to his back. ‘Sounds like a wise man’

‘He was. I’m just not sure I’m ready to be touched’

‘No pressure’

Breakfast was delivered, and they ate in companionable silence

‘They’ll have us in the gym yard today Justin. You can either stay here or come with me. But stick close if you do’

‘ya I know’

He did decide to go work out with Ty, he knew it’d be good for him mentally, and he had to stop feeling sorry for himself. So when the cell bars unlocked, he followed Ty out. Halfway down the corridor, and Eddy wrapped an arm round Justin’s neck, and held him in a choke hold. Justin managed to croak out Tyson’s name, before he and Eddy fell to their knees. Justin instinctively tried to pry the arm from his neck, but was starting to loose consciousness. Ty called for security, and they were on Eddy in seconds, Justin coughed as he crawled away and tried to take deep breaths. Ty helped him stand. Steadying him as he wobbled on his feet.

Eddy cursed homophobic and racist slurs as he was man handled back to his cell.

‘Justin, You ok?’

He rubbed at his throat as they walked, ‘Yeah, fine’

‘Told you he’s dangerous. Turn your back for a second…’

‘Yeah I know’

‘C’mon. Exercise will do you good. How are you on weights?’

‘Better with cardio’

Justin stuck close to Ty as the entered the yard, there weren’t many around, but heads were nodded in respect as they headed to the far end and the weight benches.

‘I’ll spot you on the bars, start you easy. Lie down here, that’s it. I’ll start you on 50pound, is that ok?’

‘Yeah’ He got into position, and positioned his grip on the bar while Ty adjusted the weights, moved to stand at Justin’s head and helped him lift the bar off it’s rests.

‘Keep your chest open and push with the biceps’

‘This isn’t so bad’

‘No, it’ll help you. I’ll teach you some basic defense techniques too, would you like that?’

‘I guess’

‘Ok, I’m gonna increase the weight on the bar, hang on’ Ty puts the bar back on the hooks and adjusts the weight. While Justin lay there, he had a very good view of Ty’s crotch. Mentally he shook his head, trying to clear thoughts he knew he shouldn’t be having. – you’re still in mourning, idiot- but he heard Brian’s voice in his head. –go fuck him sunshine, you need it’ –Shut up-

‘Justin?’

‘Huh?’

‘Hands on the bar’

‘Oh, Right’

CHAPTER 4

When Ty and Justin hit the showers afterwards, Justin was surprised to see how relaxed everyone was about being in a communal shower. Guess in a place like this, you’d have to get used to it. It was kinda like the back room of Bablon, only without the rampant sex. He tried not to stare at anyone too long. Didn’t want to draw attention to himself. Ty hovered close, but tried to give him as much privacy as possible as he began to strip. Justin couldn’t help but notice he was well toned. He didn’t have a six pac, but there was muscle definition. His shoulders were broad and strong, when he turned to wet his back, Justin noticed he was just as well muscled..

Ty turned around to face Justin and noticed him looking. Justin quickly lowered his head and busied his hands with soaping himself. Ty was amused, but maintained a straight face.

They were back in their cell after lunch, Ty sat on his own bench, and Justin looked at his, then went to sit beside Ty.

‘I’m not expecting anything here Justin. The choice is yours’

‘Brian keeps telling me…’ He looks at Ty. ‘You’ll think I’m, crazy. Talking about the ghost of my dead fiancé talking to me’

‘I don’t think it’s crazy at all. I think his memory still lives in you. It always will’

‘He tells me… to give into you’

‘Do you want to?’

‘No, …I don’t know…maybe. He said my body needs it’

‘Giving yourself to someone doesn’t mean you love him any less Justin. How do you feel about starting slow? Just a kiss, no touching’

Justin’s scared. Does doing this mean he’s cheating? Or is it just accepting that he’s really gone. That he’s not going to be there waiting outside after 10 months. Ty watches him. Makes no moves, just waits.

‘No touching?’

‘No touching’

Justin took a shaky breath. He hadn’t been this nervous since the first night he and Brian met.

He shifted his position to face Ty. One knee bent on the bench, and the left leg over the edge of the seat.

Hesitantly he closed the gap, and lightly pressed his lips to the black man’s. They were soft and warm.

The kiss only lasted seconds, and Ty didn’t push. When Justin pulled away he let him, but didn’t move from his seat. Neither did Justin. –there you go sunshine. Not so bad huh-

‘You ok Justin?’

‘Um…’ –Try again- -Brian- -It’s ok. Remember. In with a maximum of pleasure- -minimum of bullshit-

Justin looked at Ty. Closed the gap again. But this time there was less hesitation, and it lasted about 30 seconds longer with a little more pressure. But then Justin pulled away suddenly and turned away, but stayed sitting.

Ty put huis hand on Justin’s shoulder, and felt him take in a deep breath.

‘Oh god…’

‘Justin…’

‘No, I’m sorry, it’s me’

‘You don’t have to’

‘Yes. I do. I have to move forward’ he faces Ty again.

Justin pushes his whole body into Ty’s, and doesn’t hesitate to kiss him with pressure, Ty lays back, till Justin’s laying on top of him. But keeps his hands to himself. He doesn’t want to pressure him. The make out session lasted about 10 minutes before they both finally sit up side by side, a little breathless, and lips swollen.

-You did it sunshine- -what?- - became the best homosexual you could be-

Justin stands, starts pacing the small space

‘What’s wrong with me…’ -Sunshine…- Justin puts his hands to his head

‘NO! stop it! You’re not real!’ -Ouch-

Justin stopped and slid down the wall, tried to bury his face in his knees, and willed this nightmare to end.

Ty could tell this young man was clearly hurting mentally. Hell he’d been there himself. It was blindingly obvious how much he Missed… Brian

‘I’m not going anywhere Justin. When you’re ready to talk, I’ll listen’ Justin looks at Ty

‘How are you so …patient’

‘Before you came, I was in this cell alone. I’ve had plenty time to work on my …skills. I was, a danger to myself. In here …my life turned around. Some change, others never will’

‘If I wasn’t here, I’d probably try…kill myself again’

‘My point exactly. Justin. Go through the grieving process. It’s healthy. Get sad, angry, go through denial. But don’t apologize for it’

‘You said you lost your girlfriend?’

‘yes’

‘Would you have married her?’

‘Yes’

‘So how did you cope when she died?’

‘It took a long time. I still miss her. But every day that passes, it gets a little easier. You never forget them. And you never stop loving them. You just realize they’d want you to be happy. Live your life’

‘You’re a smart man. Anyone ever tell you that’

‘Not about that. I grew up fast.’

‘Why? Can I ask…don’t have to answer that’

‘My mom died when I was 7. My father had me from then on. But he was drunk, abusive, and had little time for me’

‘sorry’ Ty shrugged at him

‘Mr Taylor?’ an officer appeared at the bars. ‘Come with me please’

When Justin looked back at Ty, he nodded his head giving him permission to go. Up he stood, and followed the officer out the cell.

‘Is there a problem officer?’

‘No. You have a visitor’

‘Oh…who?’

‘She says she’s a friend’

Justin was led to a narrow room, with a petition through the middle. There were benches and seats, with telephones attached to the glass panels. The officer showed Justin which chair to take, and left him in relative privacy. When Justin took his seat, he was surprised to see Melanie.

The picked up the phone receivers

‘Hello sweetie’

‘Melanie. I wasn’t expecting you’

‘I know. I just said I was a friend ok?. How are you coping?

‘I’m in jail’ Mel smiled half heartedly. Justin didn’t.

‘I’m working on that. They haven’t been miss treating you at all?’

‘I’ve been here a week. I was attacked, by an inmate. But my cell mate intervened’

‘Oh Justin…’

‘I’m ok. Tyson’s teaching me self defense’

‘That’s who you’re with?

‘Yes’

‘What’s he in for?’

‘Doesn’t matter Melanie’

‘Well just remember, you can’t trust anyone here’

‘Never said I did’

Melanie studied him for a moment. There was something not quite right…he wasn’t quite as cheerful. Jail aside, and Brian’s passing… there was a hollowness in his eyes.

‘I’ve been working on your case, and there’s a chance your sentence can be reduced again. Maybe to 8 months. But the Kinney family are causing issues. They want you in here longer then 10’

‘No doubt. Mel, don’t take this the wrong way. I appreciate you making the drive out here. But I’m really not ready to talk to anyone I know, I’m sorry’

He hangs up the phone and stands. Indicating to the officer he’s done

‘Justin, wait!’

He ignores her as he walks out the room and is escorted back to his cell

‘That was fast’ Tyson looks up from his bench as the blond is let back in. The officer leaves

‘It was my lawyer’ Justin sits on Tyson’s bench next to him

‘News on your case?’

‘Maybe. I didn’t want to hear it. Not ready yet’

‘If you can get out of here earlier….’

‘Tyson…shut up’ Justin lent in and claimed those lips for moments. No body contact. Then pulled away

‘What was that for?’

‘Just a thank you’

‘That’s usually a hug’

‘You’ve been so nice to me this week. And I think that’s helping more then I care to admit. I want,,,’

‘What?’ Tyson subtly inches his hand a little closer to Justin’s thigh. His pinkie finger a hair’s width from touching.

This Blonde haired, pale skinned boy sat next to him. He could smell the heat coming off him in waves. Watched his chest rise and fall with each breath. If he listened hard enough, he was sure he heard Justin’s heartbeat.

‘You’re a lot of things Tyson. Subtle isn’t one of them’ Justin Pointedly looks at Ty’s hand and Tyson follow’s his gaze. Pulls his hand away into his lap. Five seconds later, Justin reaches over and pulls the chocolate hand into his own.  And rests them on his thigh

‘If you help me get through the next few weeks, I might give you what you need’

***

Two weeks passed, and Tyson had kept his hands to himself. And Justin thought he’d given him some useful tools to use whenever he felt like breaking down. He’d started meditating with Ty, training in some defense moves. Especially backwards choke holds. That was Eddy’s go to attack technique. Justin was improving already with the weights training, and he was getting into a rhythm with the facilities schedule.

He made a phone call to Melanie on Thursday and apologized for being so abrupt with her when she’d visited. She said she understood, and he didn’t need to explain.

Justin had allowed himself to laugh for the first time in 4 weeks, when a defense training session with Ty turned into a full on wrestle match with no rules.

It ended up with them both on the floor, limbs tangled everywhere, and faces dangerously close to each other

He hadn’t had Brian’s voice in his head in 8 days, and he wondered if his last ‘meltdown’ had been his first day he’d accepted the truth. That he wasn’t coming back. That he never could.

Lips were barely an inch apart as they panted from the exorcise.

‘We should uh…probably move’ Ty started to shift, and Justin felt the reason why against his hip

‘Probably’ Justin wasn’t aroused, but he agreed. If they stayed like this, he might be tempted.

Ty was up first, and helped Justin stand.

‘So remember. Kick up and out. Cause you might only have seconds’

Justin didn’t let go of Ty’s hand, but pulled him in a little closer to his body without actually touching. They were roughly the same height, but Ty stood a little taller.

Wrapping his arm round Ty’s waist, he drew him closer till thy were chest to chest, and he started to walk them backwards until Justin’s back hit the cell wall, and he was pinned.

‘What do I do if the attack happens like this?’ He pulled Ty’s mouth down to his. Light at first, but them the kiss deepened. No tongues dancing, just exquisite pressure of the lips.

For the first time, Justin grabbed Ty’s hand and guided it to his crotch. He was still soft, but he encouraged Ty to start squeezing and rubbing with his hand over Ty’s.

‘What does the ….victim…what do you want me to do?. You sure you want this?’

‘Hand job, for now’ Justin was starting to get uncomfortable in his pants, so he slipped them down off his hips, where they pooled round his ankles and stayed there. His growing erection was free then, and Ty wrapped his warm hand around his shaft. Justin let his head fall back and closed his eyes. The heat from Ty’s hand felt amazing, as he slid it up and down.

Ty watched him closely. How much pressure would it take to send Justin over? He increased his grip slightly. This time he got a moan from Justin, but he still showed no discomfort, or wanting to back off.

Ty increased his speed, with each rub, his thumb brushed over the tip. Encouraging a small wet bead to appear.

With his free hand, Ty pushed his own pants down, freeing his own erection and grabbed Justin’s hand.

The blond opened his eyes, as Ty placed Justin’s hand around him. Both men shivered at the connection. Like a closed circuit.

Both men closed their eyes this time, and they began to stroke and pull in earnest. There was a need now, and no turning back. Ty buried his face in Justin’s neck, and licked his jugular all the way up to his jaw line, then finally his lips. Ty traced Justin’s lips with his tongue, and tightened his hand. Justin opened his mouth, took Ty’s tongue between his teeth, and that sent them both off. Spilling their juice over wrists and arms.

Justin wanted to lay down, so he slid down the wall, taking Ty with him in the process

They just leant against each other for a while, gaining composure.

Justin started to cry silently. His breath catching as he fought to keep his emotions at bay. Ty gently lifted Justin’s chin to look at him

‘Don’t apologize’

‘But…’

‘No. Justin. My dad used to say to me, real men don’t cry. But I never agreed with him. Crying is human. It proves you have a heart, that you care’ 

‘Ty, for once can you not be philosophical and just hold me?’

He nodded and pulled Justin into him wrapping his arm around his shoulders.

‘Do you think we could have a shower’

‘You go. I’ll have one later’

‘Justin pushed himself up, pulled un his pants, and signaled and officer

‘What is it Taylor?

‘Um, I’ve been exercising and need a shower.’

‘Now?’

‘Kinda, yeah’

The officer pulls out his pager, and speaks in code to someone on the receiving end. Nods and digs out the keys.

‘You have 10 minutes’ he lets Justin out, wrinkling his nose and looks at Tyson with a wink.

As he passes Eddy’s cell, he notices he’s not in there.

‘Excuse me officer? Where is this man?’

‘Out in the yard’

Just felt a little icy down his spine, but tried to shrug it off. He was heading for the showers. Not the yard. Probably wouldn’t even see him.

Entering the shower room, he took note there was no one else in here. He started to strip off, and goy the water running, Just when he was about to step under the water, he caught movement out the corner of his eye. A hand wrapped round his neck, and a hand behind his head. His feet slipped on the wet tiles, and he would have fallen had it not been for Eddy behind him

He tried to duck like Ty had taught him, but when that didn’t work, he tried to kick up. He was loosing consciousness fast, and his vision started to blur, while his body twitched. He didn’t quite pass out but couldn’t move. Eddy and his friends laughed as Justin slid to the floor,

‘No fucking bodyguard now!’ Eddy kneels over, roughly rolls Justin to his back, and starts to choke him with both hands.

‘Should make you my third kill huh?’

4 officers flew into the room, and apprehended the gang fast, including Eddy. Someone called for the medic a couple men in white uniforms moved in, checking Justin’s pulse, and covering him with a towel. One raises his feet above his head, to force blood flow to his brain.

An officer approached Tyson’s cell and got the snoozing man’s attention.

‘Your cell mate has been moved to the infirmary. ‘

‘Why?’

‘He’s been attacked by an inmate. That’s all you need to know. He may be moved to another cell, unless you can volunteer to be held accountable for his safety’

‘You want me to take responsibility for his attack?’

‘No. Take responsibility for his safety. We know the two of you have become …friends. You can take care of him’

‘Can I see him?’

‘He’s fine Tyson, he’s just being checked over by the nurses. We’ll bring him down soon’

2 hours later Justin was escorted back to his cell and went directly to lay on the bench on his side.

Watching body language was a skill Ty had picked up during his stay here. And Justin’s body language told him to stay away. Don’t touch me.

***

“I don’t care if it’s visiting hours! I’m his lawyer. I know he got attacked twice now. By the same inmate. I need to speak to him. Immediately’

‘Ms Marcus, he’s not seeing anyone at this stage’ She stares him down ‘Fine. But don’t expect to get anything from him. He’s not talking’

Melanie was lead to justin’s cell, and cleared her throat.

‘Sweetie?’ he cracked open an eye, closed it, sighed and sat up. Opened both eyes.

‘What?’

‘I’m sorry honey, I heard what happened’

‘Excuse me, who are you?’ Ty asked

‘Melanie Marcus, Justin’s lawyer and a friend’

‘Justin’s not…’

‘Ty, it’s ok. I’m not pressing charges’

‘why?’

‘Because the man who did it is already in for 50 years. Why should I care’

‘Because he assaulted you’

‘Not the first time in my life. I survived’

‘Yes. But with permanent brain injury’

‘What, Justin you never…’

‘Not the time Ty. Mel, don’t tell anyone please. They can’t know. I can’t deal with their pity right now’

Ty stood up and went to sit next to Justin, took his hand and laced their fingers. Mel raised her eyes at the intimacy.

‘Listen …Melanie. You may be his lawyer, and a friend, but were you here to pick him up off the floor? Do your job, and get him out of here, before you carry him off in a bag!’

‘Would you give Justin and I a minute?’

‘No.’

‘Excuse me?

‘I’m going to hear it anyway. Say what you have to, then leave’

Mel took a calming breath

‘Sunshine…’

‘Don’t call me that’

‘Justin, we love you. You don’t belong here’

‘Yes I do’ Justin leant into Ty and kissed him deeply’

CHAPTER 5

‘He’s confused’ Mel plated the spaghetti and sat opposite Lindsay.

‘He’s been through a hell of a lot the last 7 months Mel, can’t expect him to just accept things’

‘But that’s just it. I mean it’s as if he’s just given up. He’s been cold towards me every time I’ve visited’

‘He’s not blaming you’

‘No. He’s blaming himself’

‘Is there a reason he shouldn’t?’

‘Jail can change people Linds. That’s what’s worrying me. And he kissed his cell mate! Is he being …brainwashed?’

***

‘Congratulations.’

‘On what?’ It was night time, and all lights were off. Justin and Ty were on their separate bunks

’30 days. You’ve survived a month in here’

‘I don’t know I’d call it surviving Ty. I don’t really have a choice’

In the pitch black, Justin heard Ty move. And felt rather then saw him approach

Justin’s shirt was off, due to the heat, and Ty’s hand landed on his chest.

Up till now they hadn’t done anything more then the one hand job and the occasional kiss. But Ty felt his new friend was becoming more comfortable with him. Well as comfortable as he could be in small room.

‘Can I try something? You can say no if you want’ Justin opened his eyes, but couldn’t really see him. He was just a shape close to him. Justin had a fairy good idea of what Ty wanted.

‘You want to…’ he lowered his voice to a whisper. ‘Blow me?’ he let out a breath slowly

‘Is that ok?’

Justin reached for Ty’s head and pulled it towards his mouth.

‘I think it pretty much inevitable’ Justin pushes Ty’s head down, and he started moving down Justin’s sternum with feather light kisses. Ty hovered at Justin’s stomach. Hands followed his kisses, and even in the dark he could feel those abdominal muscles were getting quite hard.

‘The training is working for you’  He ran his tongue in circles around his navel, along his hip bone, and finally hesitates a second before pulling Justin’s waistband down.

Ty could ‘feel’ Justin looking at him. Watching his every move. No sooner did the thought enter his head, then Justin stilled his hands. Ty felt a jolt of fear in his spine. Had he gone too far? Did he push his luck?

Justin pushed himself up dislodging Ty and effectively forcing him to crouch at his feet.

Justin opened his legs and moved Ty to sit between them. Justin took his cock in his own hand, put his other behind Ty’s head and touched the head to those lips. Both shivered in anticipation. This was new ground between them, and both were a little apprehensive.

Justin tasted salty on his lips. His skin was like silk. He flicked out his tongue and licked the slit at the tip. Justin was still soft, but he hoped he could get him hard quickly. Carefully, and minding his teeth, he pulled him all the way in. The weight on his tongue was beyond divine. He moaned. Sending vibrations into Justin’s cock. He grabbed Justin’s balls with his left hand and the base of his dick with his right, and began a suction up and down.

‘Harder’

Ty increased the pressure by sucking in his cheeks and pulling him in as far as he could without gagging. Which happily was the whole way. Before long he had Justin as stiff as a pole, and throbbing. Tyson released him to speak, but kept pulling with his hand

‘Want to cum in my mouth? Justin nodded, but then realized Ty couldn’t see him.

‘Ya ahhhh’ Tyson dove back onto his cock, and the feeling changed around Justin’s shaft. Became more intense. The man had serious skill with that tongue and those cheeks, and lips.

Ty was light on the ball sack, but applied steady pressure gradually, he tested Justin’s limits by feather touching as close to his hole as he dared. It caused Justin to thrust into his mouth on reflex, causing them both to grunt quietly.

Tyson placed his hands on Justin’s hips and held him down with all his strength. Sucking and licking as hard as he could, until he forced Justin to shoot a hot jet down his throat.

Justin panted. And felt a single tear roll down his cheek. Was this going to happen every time, now? Had he just cheated? No, how could he. He was technically single now. Was he a widower? When was he going to let someone else touch his heart? Apparently he could let someone give him a hand job, and now a blowjob. What was next. No –don’t answer that. You know what the next step is- could he do that

The winter here's cold and bitter

It's chilled us to the bone

Haven't seen the sun for weeks

To long too far from home

I feel just like I'm sinking

And I claw for solid ground

I'm pulled down by the undertow

I never thought I could feel so low

Oh darkness I feel like letting go

If all of the strength and all of the courage

Come and lift me from this place

I know I could love you much better than this

Full of grace

My love

So it's better this way, I said

Having seen this place before

Where everything we said and did

Hurts us all the more

Its just that we stayed, too long

In the same old sickly skin

I'm pulled down by the undertow

I never thought I could feel so low

Oh darkness I feel like letting go

If all of the strength

And all of the courage

Come and lift me from this place

I know I could love you much better than this

Full of grace

My love (Full of grace, Sarah McLachlan)

Justin ended up in Tyson’s arms as they fell asleep. Pants pulled back up of course. But as they dosed, subconsciously, Justin’s hand shifted. He was dreaming of Brian.

His hand found it’s way to Ty’s waistband, which woke him. But he didn’t dare move. He was on top of Justin, since the Bunk didn’t really allow them to sleep side by side. Justin’s hand slipped below Ty’s waistband and his fingers started to caress the fine hairs. Ty wasn’t sure what to do. Should he wake Justin? Should he let this play out? If he did he could risk the trust he’d begun to build with him, if he didn’t, and woke him, he’d looooose ahhh, …

‘Justin? You need to wake up’ he tried caressing his face with the back of his hand, but the hand slid lower.

-No no no no no- ‘Justin’ he shook him a little, but that didn’t work either, and the hand made contact

-oh god- ‘Justin, wake up!’ he hissed. His hips betrayed him and thrust into the hand. –ok bulldog, last ditch effort-

He leans in and presses his lips to Justin’s, forces his tongue in and brings his hand to Justin’s throat, squeezing slightly. Justin’s eyes snapped open.

‘Justin, you’re dreaming. Don’t panic’ Justin’s eyes went wide realizing the position he was in

‘You were dreaming. I tried to wake you, but then you grabbed me’

In response, Justin took hold of Ty’s cock in his hand and squeezed

‘I’m too horny to care. Lay down’

They shifted position, and Justin ended up straddle squatting Ty with his butt to his face. He didn’t hesitate Taking Ty in his mouth, and had the black cock hard in seconds

‘Ah!, bloody hell Justin!’ he covered his mouth with his hand and tried not to yell out, arching his back. The man had obviously had plenty skill. He didn’t think it was possible to get that hard that fast. Least not in his experience with men.

Ty pulled Justin’s pants down off his hips, and admired the two white globes in front of him. If they were going to do this, he was going to dive in the deep end. And now it seemed, was the opportunity to do it.

He places a hand on each cheek, and parted them, massaging them a little, before running hi right index finger down between the valley. Justin paused a moment before realizing that he was okay with the touch. He resumed his bobbing on Ty’s cock..

Finding his target, Ty replaced his finger with his tongue.  Justin narrowly avoided biting down when he felt Ty’s tongue probe at his hole. It’d been over a month since Justin had felt ready. But Ty’s action had just reminded him of what he’d been missing. And he needed to be filled. Needed that pressure inside.

He rocked back further giving Ty more access without straining his neck. And the black man needed no further encouragement. He dove in with his tongue as far as he could. Reached under Justin’s hips, and began to stroke him. His left index finger joined his tongue and together Ty began to stretch Justin open

After about 2 minutes of probing and stretching, Justin decided he was ready. He dislodged from Ty, and went to kneel on all fours on the floor, ass pointing towards Ty. He got the messages, and came to kneel in position behind Justin. He rested one hand in the small of Justin’s back, and holding himself, he pushed at Justin’s hole. He was easily able to slide in, but just a quarter of the way. He was large, thanks to that skilled tongue, and he wanted Justin to adjust. Ever so slowly he pushed in, till he was all the way to his balls.

Justin was so tight around him, he wondered how he fit in there at all.

He leant in over Justin’s back and whispered in his ear

‘You ok?’

‘Yeah. Just hurts’ Ty began to pull out, but Justin stops him with a push back of his hips.

‘No. Just go slow, I need this’

Ty does as he’s asked. Pulls out halfway, then gently pushes back in again, and again and again, until he feels Justin relaxing his muscles around him.

‘I never had anyone as …big’

‘Not even…’

‘Ty just fuck me. Memories later’

Ty did start to increase his stroke speed a bit, and Justin moaned under his breath.  It hurt every time Ty slid forward, but it was nirvana at the same time.

Tyson was beginning to loose control over his need, and he started to become a bit harder each time he entered.  Panting in short breaths, he gripped Justin’s hips, and as he drove forward, he pulled Justin back.

It only took five more thrust’s, he pulled himself out and shot onto the floor.

Justin rolled onto his side and lay there panting. The floor was hard and cold, but he didn’t care. Ty had scooted back to rest against the bunk. Both were silent for a while, till Justin decided the aching that was creeping into his bones, was from the cold floor, and was getting uncomfortable. He sat up, and pulled his pants back on, then lay on the bunk on his stomach. Ty returned to his own bed, and they slept till the prison officer woke them all 4 hours later.

Breakfast was delivered, but they still had not uttered a word.

Ty ate his breakfast, but Justin ignored his entirely. And huddled in the corner on his bunk, staring at the wall, floor, ceiling, anything but Ty. He picked at his fingernails, and Ty did his sit up’s and push ups

They went out for showers an hour later, and then were able to spend time in the common area. Ty still sat close to Justin. He was still protective. But to the other inmates there was an obvious change in body language between them. Some snickered, some looked disgustedly at them. Even Eddy, Eddy… kept his distance, and mnake no remarks.

There was one man however who decided to try his luck. He was either very brave or stupid.

The man, about 5.7, dirty blonde hair, and slim, approached the bench Ty and Justin sat on.

‘Hey Justin. I uh…heard what happened this morning’

Both men look at him, Justin furrowed his eyebrows, and Ty was staring at the inmate point blank

‘Was  kinda wondering when I might…’ he went to put a hand on Justin’s shoulder, but before either blond reacted, Ty was on his feet in seconds, putting himself between them, and baring his teeth in a snarl. The blonde back peddled a few steps, and put both hands up in surrender.

‘Calm down bulldog’

‘No one touches him. Got it?!

Eddy called from his table

‘Hey Taylor, put your dog back on his leash’ his friends laughed

‘Tyson. Come back. I’m fine’

‘You fucked him didn’t you bulldog’ Eddy’s friends laughed again.

‘All right! Everyone settle down!’ an officer ordered from a doorway

‘Did you fuck him in the ass?’ more laughter ‘Did he beg for more?’

‘Mr Horvez, that’s enough!’

‘Did he fuck you?’ more laughter.

Justin had enough, he stood, and headed towards the exit, Tyson followed him close behind, and an officer allowed them pass, but then walked with them back to their cell.

‘Mr Taylor, please ignore Mr Horvez. You need anything, call for an officer.   

They sat on their separate bunks

‘Do you want to talk about it?’

‘And say what? That I used you?’

‘Is that what you think happened here?’

‘I practically begged for it’

‘Okay, 1. …Can I sit next to you?’ Justin shrugged, so Ty moved over but didn’t touch him

‘1, I woke you up because I thought you’d hate me if I let you do what you were doing. And 2, you didn’t use me. If you had it would have meant I was unwilling to do it, and I wasn’t. Just surprised’

‘Brian… used to say to me…it’s just sex. Even when we were together, we still messed around with other guys. But we set rules. Never the same guy twice, no kissing tricks on the lips. I’m finally at a place in my head where I thought I was able to let my walls down with you. And then I thought…’

‘You thought you used me. Justin, if this is what you need,  then I am willing any time. And if you don’t want strings, I can do that too’ Ty lays his hand palm up flat on his own knee and twitches his fingers in invitation. Justin takes it and Ty squeezes gently.

‘You want to make rules like you did with Brian?’ Justin nods., rubs at the fuzz that was beginning on his chin

‘Always at night, in the dark. I’m not shy, but here it’s different’

‘Ok. Anything else?’

‘You don’t kiss me, or touch me in front of other inmates’

‘Fair enough’

‘You?’

‘You don’t wander in the common areas without me. I’m not risking Eddy or anyone else touching you’

Justin looked seriously at Ty

‘Are…are you falling for me?’ Ty was a bit shocked at the bluntness of the question

‘I…care for you.’

‘I’ve seen you watching me. It’s ok if you are.’

‘It’s dangerous out there’

‘I know that. But at least I’m alive. I may not have been if I wasn’t here’

‘Well then I’m glad you are’ Ty reaches and cups Justin’s chin, rubbing at the fine hairs ‘And I’m loving this on you’

He brings Justin’s face closer, and they kiss slowly.

At the start of the second month, Ty and Justin had earned themselves a reputation among the inmates. Justin was getting a fair amount of respect himself, by proxy of course. Roomers spread, that if he hadn’t been placed in Tyson’s cell in the first place, he probably would have become an easy target. But they were learning fast, that this ‘kid’ wasn’t quite so easy to push over. He fought well, and had on a couple occasions, thwarted Eddy’s repeated attempts to get the upper hand, while an ever watchful Ty was ready to step in if necessary.

.

‘Mr Taylor, you have a visitor’

‘Really? It’s not Friday…’

‘Justin?’ Claire popped her head into view, then came to stand at the bars

‘The fuck do you want?’

‘Justin who’s this’

‘The woman,…or one of them that put me here. What do you want Claire?’

‘Uh… I just wanted to see …how you are?’ she was nervous, wringing her hands.

‘You put me in here’

‘You put you in here too. You confessed remember’

‘After you accused me’

‘Justin my brother is dead, because…’

‘You would be wise not to finish that sentence woman’ Ty hissed

‘This is none of your business inmate, it’s a private conversation’

‘Claire, you hated Brian. And you are neither wanted or welcome here. Leave’

‘I didn’t hate him! I just didn’t understand his choice to be gay. It’s a sin’ Justin grits his teeth.

‘Be thankful there are bars between us. Otherwise I may end up with assault charges as well as …get lost’

‘No! I came here to see you. I’m not leaving’

‘Officer please escort Ms Kinney out of the facility, and make note, she is not to see me again’

‘Ms if you’ll come with me…’

‘Get your hand off me! I’m not under arrest’

‘Ms, if he doesn’t want to see you, then you need to leave’

‘Justin please’ he ignores her, and the officer all but pulls her away. 2 hours later the same officer appears to say he has another visitor. Justin say’s if it’s Brian’s mother, she’s not wanted either. But the officer assures him it’ not either woman, so he stands. His heart softens when he see’s someone who he’s been hoping to see

‘Daphne’

‘Justin’ They hold hands through the bars.

‘Daph, what are you doing here? Not that I’m not happy to see you, but visitors day is usually Friday.

‘Justin, I came, for two reasons. Firstly, I wanted to see how you’re coping here’ she leans in and whispers. ‘Cutie pie over there…’ he looks over his shoulder at Ty. ‘No! don’t look!’

‘Daph it’s ok. Ty? Come over will you? I want you to meet my best friend. Daphne’

Tyson walked over, and wrapped his arms round Justin’s waist and pressed in chest to back. Daphne’s eyes bugged open.

‘Uh…I was going to tell you my news, but looks like you have bigger news?’

‘Daph, this is Tyson, He’s my …FWB’

‘Oh….i’d hug you if I could!’

‘I’d have to pry you off of him’

‘Ty, she’s fine. He a little protective. What’s your news Daph?’

‘Oh, ok. Well um. I’m getting married!’

‘Oh my god! Daph! That’s amazing! Congratulations!’

‘Thankyou’

‘Who is he?’

‘His name is Andrew. People call him Andy’

‘Daph, I’m so happy for you.’

‘And we talked, I told him I wanted you to be there for it, so he’s agreed to wait till you’re out of here.’ She looks at Tyson.

‘should we put on the invite Justin and guest?’

Justin looked back at Ty and realized they’d never actually discussed when Tyson was being released

‘Uh, maybe. When do you get out?’

‘A month before you’ He looks back to Daphne

‘Then put, Justin and…partner’ Tyson’s grip tightened around Justin’s waist

‘Well any friend of Justin’s is a friend of mine. Tyson.’

‘Thankyou dear’

‘I wonder if I’m allowed out time in an interview room. I’d love to have a chat. Go get one of the officers and ask if I can have an hour out with you’

‘Ok. And if it’s ok, Tyson, you can come with us. I’d love to get to know you. And I have a feeling you two don’t go far from each other…’ she winked and giggled. Then she wondered off to go find an officer.

‘Nice girl’

‘Yeah. We’ve been friends since school. She’s the only woman I’ve ever slept with. She wanted me to be her first’

‘You slept with her?’

‘It was ONE time, and it wasn’t that good’ he turns in Ty’s arms. ‘Don’t worry, I’m still for the boys team’

They were kissing when Daphne returned. She cleared her throat, and they both looked at her with a guilty expression. There was an officer standing there with her.

‘We can have an hour, but I’m coming in there with you. The officer says to make sure you protect me from Tyson’

The men look at each other and laugh. They step back for the officer to let her in, and he locks the cell behind her.

‘Wow. So this is what it feels like’

‘What?’

‘being locked up in jail’

‘You have no idea Daphne. Sit down. Tell us about Andy. Why didn’t I know about him? How long have you been going out?’

‘About a year’

Justin sat between Ty’s legs while he linked fingers with him across his stomach, Daphne sat on Justin’s bunk.

‘Looks like you two are pretty snuggly though. Tyson, what’s your story? Can I ask what you’re in for?’

‘Robbery’

‘well that doesn’t seem so bad. I mean at least you didn’t Ki…Sorry Justin’

‘No. it’s ok. I know why I’m here’

The friends continued to talk for the next hour. And Justin was fairly certain, Ty was getting a hard on from just looking at Daphne. He tilted his pelvis ever so slightly to press into Tyson’s erection.

Daphne was escorted from the cell at the end of the hour, after some emotional hugging, and promises that she would return with Andy and introduce them.

‘Sweet girl’

‘Yeah she is. She’s the only one who knew I was gay and didn’t hate me for it in school. She knew I was before I told her’ he laughs

‘How did your parents take it?’

‘Mom was …surprised, but she eventually came to terms with it. My dad never did. He left mom, and we don’t talk’

‘Sorry’

‘I’m a grown man, I can handle it. My relationship with my mom is actually better for it’

Ty stayed sitting on his bunk, while Justin stood to stand at the bars leaning against the wall arms crossed.

‘I never thought my being gay would put me here. If I wasn’t…I would have probably never met Brian…or you’

‘Do you believe in fate?’

‘Yes’

‘Then it was meant to be. Things happen for a reason. To show us what we’re capable of. As awful as your circumstances are Justin, fate sent you to Brian, then took him away from you. To prove that you are worthy of this life. And you were sent to him, to prove to him, he could be capable of love. He was meant for you’

‘Deep Ty…real deep. So does that mean I’m destined to be with you now?’

‘Destiny has a way of becoming what it’s meant to. No matter what the cost’

‘You’re ….i never thought about it that way. So Brian and I were never really meant grow old together ’

CHAPTER 6

Justin and Ty were in the exercise yard, both doing sprints and burpees when Eddy wondered up. B lined for Justin, and Tyson sided up to Justin quickly, ready for anything

‘Relax,  I have no intention of whooping your gay asses right now. I’ve been told as part of my term, I need to apologize for assaulting you. That’s not going to happen. But I’m being watched. If you’re asked. I did’

‘I’m not covering your ass Eddy, forget it’

‘Do you want to make the remainder of your time here a living hell Taylor?’

‘It wasn’t already? Gee let me think…you’re not the first homophobic asshole I’ve met’ Eddy flushed red and clenched his fists.

‘You’re all going to hell, you know that?!’

‘Already there’ Eddy huffs and walks off. Tyson begins to grin

‘What?’

‘You’re getting good at that’

‘What? Dealing with homophobes? I’ve been a target ever since I came out. I had to learn to deal with it fast’ Justin takes of running again, with Ty hot on his heels, they ran laps for another 10 minutes before Justin had to stop, and catch his breath. Ty didn’t even pant.

After a phone call to his mom, Justin went back to their cell and found Ty flat on his back and asleep. His stomach rose and fell gently and his right hand rested on his stomach with his left hand behind his head.

He felt the sudden urge then to want to go over and touch. But he remembered the agreement they’d made. No touching unless it was dark. So he resigned himself to sitting on his bunk, and just stared for a while.

He thought it was somewhere around 3pm. That meant 4 hours until sundown. And about 6 till all lights were switched off. Yeah…he wasn’t counting at all.

He lay back on his bunk, and closed his own eyes. He must have fallen asleep, because when he next woke. Dinner was being delivered.

‘I hear your family calls you sunshine’

‘huh?’ Justin was just rousing from sleep and was still foggy headed

‘I heard a rumor they call you sunshine. Your friends’

‘Yeah…so’

‘I can see why’

‘Bri…Tyson, I’m half asleep’

‘You were smiling in your sleep’

‘Oh’

‘Here…eat this, it’ll help wake you’

‘I wasn’t ‘talking’ in my sleep was i?’

‘No. although I am wondering what was making you smile like that’

‘I don’t remember’ he lied. He’d been dreaming of what he wanted to do tonight. Ty studied him, but decided not to push.

They finished lunch and dosed off again. Or Justin did. He was tired the last couple days. Maybe because of the extra exercise. He woke again when it was dark, to Ty stroking his arm gently.

‘it’s dark’

‘I can tell’

‘Want me to help wake you?

’What did you have in mind?’

‘Well first I’d start by doing…’ He took Justin’s hand and gently kissed a trail from the back of his hand and up his forearm. It sent little butterflies to his chest.

While he did, his right hand began to creep up under the hem of Justin’s t-shit, and the skin on skin contact, made both of them sigh. Ty’s warm hands were like fire on Justin’s cool stomach. It creeped ever higher,  until it came just under his throat.

‘Do you trust me?’

Justin opened his eyes, and squinted to see Ty’s face. He looked so honest, he was genuinely asking

‘I think so’

Ty moved to straddle Justin’s hips, but kept his hand near his throat. He bent over and while he claimed Justin’s lips, his hand moved higher to his neck and squeezed lightly. Causing the blonds breath’s to catch a little. But he didn’t make a move to stop Ty. Every muscle in his body tensed for a few seconds, and his cock twitched. Ty felt the response on his own ass, and he minutely rocked his pelvis back, adding a bit more friction.

‘You like that? Turn you on?’ Justin nodded ‘You want more?’ he nodded again.

He claimed his mouth again, longer and deeper this time, and increased the pressure round Justin’s throat a little, making Justin’s whole body writhe with pleasure. His hand moved on it’s own then, and dug under Ty’s pants. It found Ty already hard and he felt the blood pulsing in his veins. While Justin began to rub and pump his hand round the shaft, Ty sat up, and removed his shirt, tossing it aside. He put his thumbs at the waist on his pants and pushed them down to his knees, then went to pull Justin’s pants down as much as he could.

After a little stretching with his fingers, Ty slid in to Justin all the way, but stayed for a minute, to let his captive relax and adjust. He hand went to his throat again, but this time, he began to bite Justin’s nipples, than soothed them with his tongue.

‘Ahhh ahh ah’ Justin arched he neck back.  Tyson was huge inside him. He felt every inch pressing against his walls. Like a glove that was too tight.

‘Holy FUCK!’ he tried to steady the shallow pants he was having. Last thing he wanted was to pass out. But his abs were tensing up. His entire body was reacting to the invasion, not just his ass.

‘Fuuuuck, you’re bigger this time’

‘Relax your body. I wont move till you can. I won’t hurt you’

Tyson squeezed Justin’s neck, and had to stifle Justin’s yell with his mouth, He started to slowly pull out, but only and inch, then push back in again. He repeated this about several times, each time coming out a little more. It seemed to help, and the movement created it’s own lubricant.

Before long, Justin’s body was relaxing more, and Ty was beginning to pick up speed

Driving into him more easy now, he was beginning to fight his own self control.

Justin angled his head and bit down into Ty’s shoulder. That sent him over completely and Ty thrust one last time into Justin, staying inside him as his body shuddered and ejaculated  

Ty collapsed on top of Justin, but still didn’t withdraw

‘Holly ….’ Justin panted

‘fuck. You’re as tight as a vice in there’

‘But we…and you …but now….big’

‘Not used to that huh?’

Ty shifted so that he rested on his forearms, and they groaned as they felt Ty inside Justin. The angle rubbed over his prostate, and Justin arched his back as a new wave of pleasure ran down his spine. ‘Ohhhhh’

‘I think …you ready for me to move?’

‘Move …’ Ty started to pull out But Justin stilled him. ‘Bulldog style’

After some awkward maneuvering, they both ended up on the floor, with Justin on all fours, and Ty behind him, holding his hips, and pounding into him with such force, Justin was sure they’d end up on the other side of the planet. Ty erupted a second time into that pale ass. He was surprised he had any cum left in him.

This time, Ty did pull out, and Justin felt suddenly very empty inside. But Ty pulled him in to sit against the wall

‘Tomorrow marks 4 months here for you. You’re almost halfway done’

‘You get out before me’

‘Only by a month. And you know what? I’m going to visit you for those 30 days. Or as much as they will allow, until you’re released’ Justin took Ty’s hand and laced their fingers. Studied their linked hands.

‘Ty. I didn’t ever think I’d hear myself say this to anyone else other then …’

‘Brian’

‘Brian. But …I …like you.’ Ty laughs. ‘What?’

‘I like you too Justin. Maybe even more then like’

‘Jeeze what are we? Hi school cheerleaders!?’ they both laugh

‘Bulldog. You can do that to me more often’

‘Dog style?’

‘Mmm’

‘Kay, but you’ll need to give me 30. I don’t think I can again…not for a while’

‘Ya, neither does my ass…’ He shifted uncomfortably.

‘There are other options…’ Justin swatted Ty’s arm

‘You could …fuck me?’

‘I don’t think I can move’

‘Relax, Lay on your back for me’ Justin slid sideways down the wall till he was on his back, Tyson chuckled, and pulled him out a little further so they had more room.

Justin was only half hard, so Ty positioned himself, and Took Justin in his mouth. Doing that thing where he sucked his cheeks in, and lightly grazing with his teeth.

‘Oh jesus…’ Ty worked until he didn’t think Justin could get any harder.. He prepared himself, moved into position, and was sitting in Justin’s lap, in one move. He then started to ride Justin cowboy style, grinding his hips every time he went down. Justin pulled him down, and wrapped his arms around Ty’s shoulders , somehow managed to lift his legs and wrapped them round his waist, and the angle change sent them both over.

Justin let all his limbs fall, and lay prone and venerable underneath

They lay there for about 3 minutes before Justin groaned from discomfort.

‘’Ok I actually need to move. The floor is freezing’

‘Of course.’ With some effort, Ty pushed himself up to squatting, and offered a hand which Justin took. They found their respective cloths, and re dressed. They sat on Justin’s bunk. Ty leant back against the wall, and Justin leant into his shoulder with Ty’s arm around him. They linked fingers.

‘So what now? Technically we’re supposed to be asleep’

‘Technically’

‘Are you tired?’

‘Only a little’

‘Maybe we should get some shut eye?’ Ty yawned ‘I take that as a yes’ Tyson nodded. He maneuvered himself while still holding Justin, and they ended up semi spooning on the narrow bunk, with Ty behind, holding Justin tight to his chest.

Next morning, they woke still in each other’s arms, a bit stiff, and almost falling off the bunk. Justin twisted his head round, and Ty caught his lips in a slow kiss.

‘Not gonna ask if you slept well’

‘I had a pretty good hot water bottle. I could feel every muscle in your body. You’re getting hotter by the day’

‘What can I say. I have an amazing trainer’ they kiss again,  light touches

Ty’s hand begins to creep lower until it covers Justin over his pants. He squeezes lightly, and Justin sighs. But then memory kicks in, and he stills Ty’s hand with his own, and moves their hands to his chest.

‘We can’t’

‘Day…right’

Justin sit’s himself up, and stands. Stretching and pacing the small space to loosen his joints. Ty sits up, but stays on the bunk. He admired Justin’s ass as he paced

‘Nice view. I’d wake up to this any morning happily’ Justin turned and half smiles

‘My ass is one of my best features’ he does a little wiggle of his hips’

‘Cut that out, or I’ll have to spank it!’

‘Is that a promise?’ Ty laughs, and Justin smiles with his eyes

‘Morning boys’ The woman stood on the other side of the bars with her trolley of breakfasts, and slid the trays through the letterbox sized chute.

‘Morning Eva’

‘You have porridge this morning’

‘Again’ Justin and Ty said simultaneously

‘I know, but I don’t plan the menu. Sorry’

‘Don’t worry Eva, it’s fine.’

Another warden appeared at the bars.

‘Mr Taylor. Good morning. Tyson’

‘Morning’

‘Justin, you have a review today, and a meeting with the progress assessment team. We expect you in the office by 9am’ he departs

‘That’s great Justin. They may decide to let you out sooner if they’re happy with your progress’

‘Didn’t think it was that simple?’

‘You didn’t plan to kill him Justin. It’s not like you’re planning on killing anyone else…’

‘No, but he’s dead because of me’ Justin’s mood was dropping. Ty could tell, so he got up and came to stand behind him and stand spooned him.

‘Please try to relax, best thing you can do is give them the impression that you’re mentally stable. You go in there all depressed and upset, they may decide you aren’t ready’

After he’d showered, and ate, it was time for him to be escorted to the interrogation room. They sat him down in a chair in a room of 4 people.

‘Morning Mr Taylor. Please try and relax. This isn’t meant to intimidate you. We’re simply trying to gage where you’re at, perhaps review your term here.’

‘I’ll answer anything’

‘Very good. Ok’ he was introduced to the people in the room.

‘So, how are you feeling currently? Are you having any negative feelings towards anyone or youeself?’

The interview went for an hour. By the end, Justin was feeling a little irritated at some of the questions, but he appeared calm on the outside. They thanked him for his co-operation, and he was escorted back to his cell. Ty looked up when they let him in, and raised his eyebrows in curiosity

‘I don’t know. They didn’t give much away’

‘That doesn’t mean it’s bad.’

‘I know. I just don’t know if I can be in this place any longer. But it’s not like I’ve got a choice’

‘No you don’t, but if you don’t’ mind my saying, having you here makes my day better’

‘You too Ty’

‘I came up with an idea to pass some time’

‘Not now, my ass is still sore’

‘Sorry. But not that. No I just meant we could work on your defense techniques a bit more’

‘Oh’

‘You feel up to it?’

‘Ya, so long as noting else happens’

‘Since when do you knock this back?’ Ty rubbed at his crotch

‘Since I’m in a mood Tyson. Really can’t be bothered right now’ Ty deflates and moves his hand to his thigh. Justin sighs and walks over to him, pulls him into an embrace.

‘I’m sorry. I just can’t’ together they sit side by side on Ty’s bunk

‘Justin for your sake, I want you gone. This place does things to people. The longer you’re here…I can’t speak to the Justin before prison. I didn’t know him. But I like the man I’ve got to know here’

‘I’ve been through plenty out of prison. You know I was almost killed’

‘Yeah I know. I hate that it happened to you’ Justin was rubbing the back of Ty’s hand with his thumb

***

‘There’s been a development with the coroner’s report’ Mel looked up from the paperwork on her desk

‘Sorry?’

‘Sorry Ms Marcus, I should have knocked’ The intern politely but quietly knocks on the door frame

‘What are you talking about Jessica?’

‘The case you’re handling for Justin Taylor’

‘Come in, have a seat’

‘We just got report of the coroner’s findings. Information that was with held at his hearing and could potentially clear your client’s name, and have the charges dropped’

‘Why wasn’t I told about this before?’

‘Because the deceased man’s family didn’t want the information made public knowledge. In other words, they sabotaged the hearing to win the case’ The intern handed a report to Melanie, and she took it, skimming her eyes over it a moment.

‘I’m going to need time to read through all this thoroughly, but this is good work Jess, thankyou’

‘Ms  Marcus, can I ask a personal question?’

‘I might not answer, but sure’

‘Justin, he’s a personal friend of yours isn’t he? He’s not just a client’

‘That’s right’

‘Do you think it’s possible that when he released, I could meet him? Following his case, I feel like I’d love to get to know him’

‘Jessica, you know I can’t authorize that. And sweetie, remember, Justin’s gay’

‘Yeah I know. I don’t want to date him, I have a boyfriend. I meant I just want to meet him’

‘I’m sorry, I can’t. Thank you for the reports’ Jessica nods, and excused herself from, Mel’s office

Mel took a sip of her coffee, and began to read through the report. By the time she finished, she was feeling a mix of anger, and happiness. She made a quick phone call, then told her PA to hold all incoming calls, reschedule any meetings, gathered her suitcase and headed out to her car.

On her way, she called Lindsay, and filled her in. Called Jennifer and filled her in, and said she would meet her in an hour at the prison.

‘Mr Taylor, please come with me, you have visitors’

Justin looked at Ty.

‘Can Ty come with me?’

‘What for?’

‘I want them to meet…my boyfriend’ Justin  raises his eyebrows at Ty in question, and got a small surprised nod in response.

‘Fine’. The officer unlocks the cell doors and the two offecers plus Justin and Ty walk down the narrow halls, till they enter an interview room. Justin half smiled when he saw Mel and his mother already sitting in there.

Jennifer stood, and gave her son a long hug, and stood aside for Mel to do the same. Mel looked sideways at Ty, recognizing him from their earlier encounter.

‘Mom, this is Tyson. Mel, you two have met already’

Tyson offers his hand to both woman, who shake it politely.  

Everyone takes a seat except the guard at the door.

‘Justin, I know you weren’t expecting any visitors till next week. But I was handed a report today at work, that may potentially enable you to be released earlier.’ Ty took Justin’s hand.

‘What do you mean?’

Information has come to light from the coroner, that it was NOT the morphine injection that killed Brian. Report said, there was not a fatal dose of drugs in his system. The actual cause of death, was cardiac arrest. You didn’t kill him Justin’

Jennifer’s jaw about hit the desk, and Ty’s hand clamped so tight on Justin’s it made him flinch

Jen could barely contain her elation…

‘Oh honey!!!!’

‘Mom…I’

‘Why the hell wasn’t this information given in court?!’

‘The Kinney family requested this information be withheld. They deliberately hid vital evidence in order to have Justin convicted. They sabotaged the hearing’

‘So my son has spent the last 5 months in prison an innocent man?’ 

‘effectively, yes’

‘Oh god! Well we have to have a retrial!’

‘We will Jennifer…’

‘Excuse me, can I say something here?’

‘Of course sweetie’

‘If I’m not guilty, what happens to my record? I’ve served time in a prison. I’m a criminal’

‘Very good question Justin. And when we present this new information to a judge, there is a good chance your record will be expunged’

CHAPTER 7   

‘This court is now in session. Please be seated. The case of Taylor Vs Kinney. Will the prosecutor please present their evidence’

Justin was having a hard time controlling his breathing. He was on a knife’s edge today. Verging on a panic. He was trying to take deep breaths in and out.

The Kinney’s lawyer  tried to argue about the turbulent relationship that Brian and Justin had over the years.  Justin’s mental state, his selfishness during Brian’s illness.

Debbie, watching in the back of the room with Michael, Ben Emmett and Ted, could be heard muttering.

Melanie was up front with Justin. Lindsay had to stay home with the children.

‘Will the defense please present their evidence’

‘Your honor. Recent reports have been brought to light that there was not sufficient drugs in the deceased system to be fatal. The prosecution deliberately and with full knowledge withheld these results, to gain the upper hand in their defense. This information is critical, and would have proven my clients innocence.  Justin Taylor is not guilty of manslaughter your honor. The deceased died of natural causes resulting from cancer’

The judge adjourned to read over the evidence, as did the jury. A long hour passed before court was called back into session.

‘Jury, how do you find the defendant?

There were 12 ‘Innocent’ votes. Claire and her mother began to look panicked.

‘The based on the evidence presented here. The convictions placed against the defendant, are to be lifted, and his charges expunged. This case is now closed. Mr Taylor, you are free to go’

Justin just about collapses in his chair, and cheers from his ‘family’ erupted in the back of the room. Melanie pulls Justin into a long hug, and smiles. ‘Congratulations, sunshine. You’re a free man!’

Justin had tears in his eyes. Both because he was happy to be free of his charges, but also sad, because Brian …and Ty weren’t there to comfort him.

He was allowed to visit Ty every fortnight, under supervision.

Ty was absolutely ecstatic at Justin’s results, and they clung to each other in the interview room. Ty peppered kisses all over his face, not caring about  the guard watching.

‘Justin, this is really the best thing that could ever happen.’

‘Just don’t be going and getting yourself a new boy toy’

‘Not gonna happen, pup’

They lean in for a deep kiss, but break apart when the guard clears his throat.

‘You only have 4 months left Ty. I have a little apartment in the city. It’s not much, but I can afford it, and you can stay over as often as you like. There’s only a single bed, but I have a comfortable fold out couch. A small but modern kitchen. I’d love to cook for you’

‘Sounds amazing’

‘And I’m going to get back to my painting. See if I can sell some stuff for extra cash’

‘Keep your head up Justin’

‘What do you mean?’ Ty pulls Justin in, and sings in his ear

“” All day long, wearing a mask of false bravado

Trying to keep up a smile that hides a tear

But as the sun goes down, I get that empty feeling again

How I wish to God that you were here””

Justin holds back a tear.

‘This isn’t the end of us Ty. We will be together. Soon’

‘Is it too soon to say it?’

‘Do you mean it?’

‘I …think I do’

‘Then say it’ Ty takes a deep breath, and caresses the side of Justin’s face. They touch foreheads

‘Justin. I know your heart will belong to Brian forever’

‘Ty…’

‘But I do. I …love you’

Justin makes Ty look at him, wipes away a tear with his thumb.

‘This isn’t goodbye. It’s see you soon. I will wait for you.’

‘Did you honestly mean what you said? Am I your…’

‘Boyfriend?’ Ty nods. ‘If you’ll have me’

‘Justin, of course I will!’

***

4 Months later, and Justin was standing outside the prison doors where they release inmates. It was pouring of rain, but he stood with his umbrella, and wore his gloves and a thick scarf. It was the start of December.

He checked his watch. They should be releasing him any minute now.

As if on cue, the door was opened, and out stepped Tyson. He spoke with the guard for a moment, then saw Justin standing there waiting. Ty had a bit more facial hair than usual, but he’d trimmed it to have a distinct shape.

His face lit up when he saw Justin. Walking the 20 or so feet quickly, he was immediately pulled into a hug under the umbrella, and the kiss was breath taking. Ty’s beard tickled at Justin’s chin.

Justin spoke between kisses.

‘I …can’t …believe …you’re …out’

‘I’m… more then …ready …to…make up…lost …time’

Justin took Ty’s hand and lead him to his car. They drove 25 minutes to his apartment, and were barly in the door before cloths were being stripped, and hands everywhere.  Somehow they made it to the bedroom, ans together they collapsed, a tangle of limbs and locking lips.

Both hard already, Justin rolled onto his stomach, and Ty climbed on top of him. Fully engorged and Justin screamed out, but he welcomed the pain. He expected it this time.

The pace was fast and hard, and Tyson pounded so hard into Justin they almost became one body.

Justin began to tremble, trying to hold back as long as he could. But his eyes rolled back in his head, and he came with a yell. Clenched down on Ty, and the black man released deep inside his human glove.

Ending in a collapsed spoon with Ty still buried inside him, they both passed out, and didn’t wake till the next day.

TBC