Chapter 1

“You look like shit,” Justin stated matter-of-factly as he looked at Brian's pale form being displayed on his laptop screen.

“Gee, Sunshine. I can always rely on you for some loving, caring words,” Brian snarked as he tried to look unimpressed by Justin's words.

“Are you still not feeling any better? This doesn't sound like a simple stomach bug, Brian. You've been vomiting and feeling like shit for what feels like at least two or three days now.” Justin suddenly gasped and a hand flew to his mouth. “You don't think...,” he started, but then didn't continue when he saw the thunderous look on Brian's face.

They had been video-chatting at least three times a week for the last eleven weeks since Justin had moved to New York to work on his career. Even though they had cancelled their wedding, they had still agreed to stay a couple and keep their relationship going. They knew that a long-distance relationship wouldn't be easy on either of them, but neither of them was ready to let go of what they had established as a new status quo after the bombing of Babylon. 

Brian had finally admitted his feelings to Justin and had even wanted to marry him. In the end that wedding had fallen through for various reasons, but none of those reasons had been a lack of love between them. Justin knew without a doubt that Brian loved him and he also knew that Brian knew how much he loved him.

Looking at his pale lover on his laptop screen, he couldn't help but get worried. Brian had suffered from some kind of stomach bug for days now. He was vomiting a lot, seemingly losing weight because he was losing every food he took in shortly after. And yet, looking at his image now on the screen, it looked like Brian was putting on weight around his midsection. Not that he was getting fat, god forbid, that would never happen to Brian Kinney, but he sure as hell seemed to have put on a pound or two around his middle section while the rest of his features seemed gaunt and exhausted.

“Are you putting on weight? How is that possible? With all the throwing up you're doing, you should be losing weight, not gaining weight,” Justin pointed out and frowned at Brian. “How can you look gaunt in your face, but your midsection looks like you gained a pound or two?”

“What can I say? I am not getting the workout I am used to anymore,” Brian said quietly and Justin saw the longing in the man's eyes. Brian might not tell him that he missed him, Brian wouldn't do that because they both knew that would only get Justin on the next flight back to Pittsburgh, but as the author of the Kinney Operating Manual, Justin knew very well that this was as much an admission of Brian missing him as he was going to get.

“While I totally agree with your argument there, that doesn't make any sense,” Justin went on seriously. “How can you throw up several times a day, yet gain weight at the same time?”

“I am sure you've already come up with a diagnosis, Dr. Taylor, haven't you?”

“Brian... Don't mock me. I am just worried. I know you don't want to hear this, but... what if it's the cancer... What if it has come back and now you have a tumor growing inside of you?”

Justin hated having this conversation via video-chat and not in person, but he figured if they had this conversation in person, Brian would probably already have kicked his ass out of the door. To be honest, he was surprised that Brian hadn't already ended their video-chat. Brian hated to be reminded of the time he had had cancer and he hated to be reminded of what he considered to be a time of weakness and of not being perfect anymore.

“I told you that the last check-up didn't show anything,” Brian said calmly, surprising both him and Justin with the calmness of his voice. Brian sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. “I am sure that whatever this is, is probably just a really resilient virus or something. There is a stomach flu going around at the office at the moment, I probably just caught it from someone. You know that the doc said there was no reason to worry unnecessarily and that the prognosis was more than good.”

Brian's voice had taken on an almost gentle tone and Justin knew immediately that it was there to calm him. He knew that Brian could see and feel and hear in his voice how Justin was close to working himself into a real state over the cancer possibly returning and neither of them wanted to deal with that while they were apart. So trying to avoid that full blown panic attack by his lover, Brian tried to calm the younger man down, making himself sound way more confident than he actually felt.

If he was honest with himself, he was scared as well. He agreed with Justin, it wasn't normal to throw up for weeks on end, not that Justin knew that it had already been weeks. Justin had only been aware of his throwing up going on for a few days now and still gain weight at the same time. He had noticed the slight roundness to his lower abdomen and had no idea where it had been coming from when he had pretty much thrown up every meal he had consumed in recent weeks.

“I just worry, Brian,” Justin whispered and he saw how Brian's features immediately softened. 

“Don't, there's nothing you can do and you're only working yourself up into a panic when you should be concentrating on your art. Your mom told me you have a meeting with a possible agent in two days,” Brian changed the topic and for a moment he saw Justin's eyes light up and he knew the young man was about to start on one of his hour long explanations of how great it would be to have an agent representing him, but at the last moment he seemed to stop himself and raised an eyebrow at Brian.

“Nice try. Don't change the topic on me,” he told his older partner instead and couldn't help but smile when he saw an expression on the man's face that said 'Busted!'.

“Sunshine, you'll be happy to know that I have an appointment with the doc tomorrow afternoon, so he can check out this stomach virus and do something about it,” Brian sighed, when he realised that there was no distracting Justin that evening.

“Tomorrow?”

“Yep, tomorrow. So hopefully by tomorrow evening you'll be my fun Sunshine again and we can spend our precious video-chat time with more important things than the things coming out of my body,” Brian winked and was relieved when this time Justin fell for his distraction.

“I love the things coming out of your body,” the blond confessed with one of his sunshine smiles and in a sultry voice.

“Care to see something come out of my body right now?” Brian asked as he moved the camera on his computer further down so it was pointed at his crotch where he had slowly started stroking his half-erect cock.

“I could be persuaded,” Justin winked as his own hand wandered down his chest and stomach, further down to his own cock which had jumped to full attention when Brian had started his little show.

Video-chat sex was nowhere near as good as the real thing, but for the times when they were apart it was the best they could do and they had surely made the most of their various video-chat sessions these last few weeks since Justin had left Pittsburgh for New York.

After twenty minutes of heavy panting, stroking, touching and dirty talk, both Brian and Justin had come and were now trying to come down from the euphoric high only an orgasm could bring.

“I hate to break this lovely evening entertainment up, but I am really knackered and I have an important meeting with Remson tomorrow morning. Speak to you soon?” Brian asked as he tried to hide the reluctance in his eyes to end this call. He didn't want to stop talking to Justin, he wanted to spend more time with him, but ever since he had started suffering from this stomach bug, he had been constantly tired. Maybe Ted had been right when he had teased him two weeks ago, maybe age was finally catching up with Brian Kinney just like it did with the rest of humankind.

Justin only nodded, looking at Brian from understanding eyes. “Call me tomorrow when you're done at the doctor's?”

“I will,” Brian whispered, before adding a quiet. “Later.”

After Justin had returned the sentiment, Brian ended the video-chat and moved into his bedroom, getting ready for another lonely night alone in his bed.