Chapter 13 

“Hey sonny boy, what are you doing up?”

Brian asked as he saw Gus appearing in the doorway, holding his teddy bear as he slowly made his way over, looking totally adorable in his pyjamas.

“I heard Luke cry. Is he okay?” He said quietly, seeing the baby in Brian’s arms suck on his bottle, not wanting to disturb them by talking too loudly.

“Yeah, he’s fine. He was just hungry,” Brian told him, motioning for him to come over to the rocking chair Brian was sitting in, holding Luke who was lazily sucking on his bottle, apparently close to falling asleep again.

As Gus stood next to the rocking chair, Brian patted the empty space in his lap and Gus climbed up on it and sat down in his father's lap, looking at the baby in his arms, carefully reaching out for his brother and caressing his cheek tenderly.

Brian smiled to himself as he saw that gesture, marvelling once again at how Gus had taken to his younger brother. Already when he had still been at the hospital, Gus had been utterly fascinated by the baby and that had only increased when Brian and Luke had been released after four days and went back home and Gus came for his next visit to Britin.

Gus had watched on in fascination whenever Luke was fed or got his diapers changed and just loved to hold him and stroke his head or his cheeks. Forgotten were the times when he had been less  than happy about the new baby and had been scared about his father not having time for him anymore. Gus loved his little brother so dearly, it had been a huge fight to get him to go back to Canada with Lindsay, back to his baby sister and Melanie, him insisting that he wanted to stay at Britin and spend time with Luke. In the end Gus had to go back, but he had put on quite the fight, demanding to be allowed to stay home with his daddy and the baby.

Brian had been confused by that as he couldn't remember Gus behaving like that when JR had been born, but then he assumed that Gus had never been that much a part of JR's pregnancy and young life as he had been with Luke as his mothers had been more concerned with themselves and their marital problems than with their children at the time. It made Brian feel bad for Gus and so he did what he could to make sure that Gus' time with Luke was special. 

After putting the bottle on the small table next to the rocking chair he was sitting on, Brian pulled Gus close and felt him rest his head in his side as they both watched Luke who had fallen asleep again and was obviously sleeping peacefully now. “Aren’t you tired?” Brian asked, looking at the clock on the table next to the rocking chair and saw that it was just after 2 am in the morning.

Gus nodded, nuzzling even more into Brian’s chest and Brian knew that now he had made sure that Luke was okay, it would only be a few minutes before Gus would be asleep as well.

“Why don’t you go back to your bed? It’s a lot more comfortable than this rocking chair, sonny boy,” Brian pointed out, but he immediately heard Gus' ‘no’. 

“I want to stay with you and Luke,” he said, sleep already creeping up in his voice.

Brian knew that he would only get Gus to go back to bed with a fight and he didn’t really feel like it at this time of the night, so he just decided to let Gus fall asleep there, knowing he could carry him back to bed once he was asleep without the boy noticing.

“Okay,” Brian only said, weaving through his older son’s hair with his free hand as he looked from Gus to Luke and marvelled at how happy he felt in that moment, having both his sons by his side.

***  

An hour later that was how Lindsay found the three of them. Gus in one arm, resting in Brian's lap and cuddling into his daddy's side, Luke securely held in Brian's other arm and Brian in the middle, all three of them dozing peacefully. 

She had woken up a few minutes earlier and had just wanted to check on Gus when she had seen that his bed in his room was empty. For a second she had felt slightly panicked, but then she had figured that he was probably somewhere close to Brian or Luke, the places where Gus could always be found these days. It was really cute to watch how he loved his daddy and his baby brother. She couldn't remember Gus taking to JR like that. 

Lindsay walked into the room and carefully entangled Gus from Brian's lap, taking the small boy into her arms. Gus roused slightly, but didn't wake up completely, however his daddy did. She gave Brian a gentle smile as she held her son close.

“Why didn't you call me? I could have helped you with these two,” she asked and frowned when she was rewarded by a snark from the man in the rocking chair.

“Last time I checked, I was still capable to take care of my sons on my own.”

“Brian,” she started in a voice that was sweet like honey, but held a hint of haughtiness. “You are a new dad. You never did night time feedings for Gus. This is all new for you, but I have been there, why don't you let me help you?”

Brian sighed in annoyance and slowly got up from the rocking chair, carefully carrying Luke over to his crib and laying the sleeping baby down. He placed a kiss on Luke's forehead, inhaling the scent of his baby son and hoped that it would calm him down. 

For the last few days Lindsay had annoyed the hell out of him. It had started with her trying to be helpful which, if he was honest with himself, had been nice and he had appreciated the help, but the more time she spent at Britin, the more she behaved like lady of the manor which she definitely wasn't. It had been Mother Taylor who had first pointed out Lindsay's behaviour to him when she had been angered by Lindsay not letting her see her grandson, claiming that her – meaning Lindsay's – family had planned a quiet afternoon on the grounds and didn't want to be disturbed. Jennifer had asked him if he thought that it was normal that Lindsay spent almost every weekend at Britin and if he hadn't wondered why it was only ever Lindsay and Gus coming to Pittsburgh, but never Melanie and JR. At first Brian had brushed her concerns aside and had just figured that Mother Taylor was probably jealous of Lindsay spending that much time at Britin, but then he had started to really watch Lindsay's behaviour and he had seen what Mother Taylor meant. He had heard from Ted and Blake as well that Lindsay had told them not to come by when she was at Britin as they – meaning Gus, Luke, Brian and her – were spending valuable bonding time together.

Until now Brian had stayed calm, but he didn't know how much longer he could be. As said before, Lindsay's constant presence and the haughtiness in her voice because she had given birth to Gus made him want to crawl out of his skin right that moment.

Giving one last look at his baby boy in the crib, Brian turned around and motioned for Lindsay to hand over Gus.

“Brian, you shouldn't. Not this shortly after your c-section. You don't want to bust any stitches, do you?”

Brian just glared at her and wordlessly demanded that she hand over Gus with a scathing look. When she seemed to hesitate, he hissed at her.

“Trust me, Lindsay. I am well able to carry my own son to bed. And that c-section you always like to harp about and that is the cause for me constantly having to rest in your eyes has been six weeks ago. I am pretty sure all stitches have been healed by now.”

With that he glared at her once more until she handed Gus over and he carried his son into his bedroom. Hugging the boy close, Brian left a kiss on his nose before he lay him down in his fire truck bed and pulled the covers up, making sure that his teddy was at his side.

He watched as Lindsay gave Gus a kiss as well and then left the room with her. When he was about to turn to the master bedroom, he frowned when Lindsay was still at his side. “What? I don't need you to tuck me in, Lindsay. I have been able to do that ever since I was a small boy.”

“Brian,” Lindsay sighed in an exasperated voice as if talking to a small child. “I know that you're tired and exhausted and that it is making you cranky. Let me help you. That's what you have friends for.”

For a second Brian wondered if maybe he was overreacting and maybe his mood was due to some lack of sleep. Maybe he was reading too much into things due to his sleepless nights in recent weeks. Not wanting to cause a fight over something that might not be an issue to begin with, he just ignored Lindsay's last comment and went into his bedroom, closing the door firmly behind himself. He walked over to his bed and lay down and was asleep in seconds, his tiredness catching up with him the second his head hit the pillow.

The next morning Brian woke up and felt refreshed and better. Not hearing anything from either of his sons, he decided to take a quick shower and sighed when he saw his reflection in the mirror. His stomach had never looked as saggy as it did now. He hadn't gained a lot of weight during his pregnancy, not as much as other people did as both Jennifer and Debbie had assured him, yet he still hated seeing his flabby stomach. He had always paid a lot of attention to his outer appearance and he would be damned in hell if he didn't get rid of that additional weight and wouldn't get his rippled muscles back. He made a mental note to call his personal trainer sometime that day to make an appointment with him for the upcoming week and then stepped into the hot shower letting the hot spray wash away every last remnant he might still have felt of the tension from the previous night.

After the shower Brian stepped out of his room and frowned when he heard a calm voice coming from the nursery. He immediately recognised the voice as Lindsay's and decided to walk over and apologise to her for his behaviour last night. Brian stopped in his tracks when he was able to make out what she was saying.

“Oh, you look so much like your daddy, honey. You and Gus will be real lookers. You both got the best features your daddy has to offer. Mommy will be so proud of you,” she cooed at the baby in her arms. Brian frowned from behind the doorway when he heard her continue.

“We will be a good family. Your daddy will take care of you, Gus and me and we'll be very happy together.”

Brian had heard enough at that point and pushed the door open to reveal himself. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Brian?” Lindsay's eyes widened and she looked slightly... guilty? Yes, guilty, Brian decided when he eyed her. He stomped over and took his son out of her arms, smiling at the gently cooing baby. He placed a kiss on his son's forehead, hugging him close as the baby continued gurgling. 

“Hey sonny boy, good morning. I didn't hear you wake up,” Brian whispered, gently rocking the baby in his arms.

“Brian, it's not what you think,” Lindsay started as she got out of the rocking chair.

“And what am I thinking?”

“That I am overstepping my boundaries,” she replied quietly.

“Well, you are. So, tell me, what is it instead?” He glared at the woman who was now standing opposite him.

“I am just trying to familiarise Luke with myself from the very beginning,” Lindsay started only to be interrupted by Brian right away.

“And why would you do that?”

“I am Gus' mother and I guess...,” she took a breath before she continued. “I will also be his mother.”

“What the fuck?” Brian just exclaimed eyeing one of his oldest friends as if she had just grown a second head. “Where in your mind did you get that idea? You know what? I don't care... Get it out of your head. You are NOT Luke's mother!”

“Brian,” Lindsay tried to placate the man, but he had turned his back on her to gently lay down his son in his crib. Once Luke was happy and about to doze off, he turned to Lindsay and grabbed her wrist, pulling her out of the room. He led her towards the living-room and then confronted her.

“Where is Mel?” He asked and could see how that question startled Lindsay.

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Where is she?” Brian only repeated his earlier question.

“At home.”

“And why aren't you there with her?” 

“Brian, I thought you wanted Gus to spend time with his baby brother and you,” Lindsay said quietly.

“You have been here every weekend since Luke has been born and two whole weeks before. I have seen more of Gus in the last two months than ever before. Are you sure it's just that?” Brian raised an eyebrow at her and Lindsay had to swallow at the intense glare directed at her.

“Are you complaining?” 

“No, I just want to know what the fuck is going on.”

“I wanted to make sure that Gus has a relationship with his brother, Brian. That is all,” Lindsay insisted.

“Bullshit! You didn't care one ounce about his relationship with his sister,” Brian pointed out. “Why isn't he bonding with her?”

“He is, Brian. During the week. He sees her every day.”

“Do you really think that I believe for one second that Mel is okay with you coming here every weekend for the last six weeks? What kind of fool do you think I am?”

“Brian, she understands that these are special circumstances,” Lindsay said in a soothing voice.

“Special circumstances? Aha... maybe I should give her a call and ask her how understanding she intends to be for the next few months,” Brian walked over to the living-room table where he had left  his cell phone the night before and picked it up. He looked for Melanie's name in his list of contacts, before showing his phone to Lindsay, letting her watch wide eyed as he connected and the first dial tone broke the silence between them.

“Brian, hang up!” Lindsay was now nearly pleading with him and Brian eyed her curiously.

“Why, Lindsay? Why should I? I thought she understood...”

“Hang up,” Lindsay hissed, trying to grab the phone in Brian's hand. Brian finally hung up, having no intention of speaking to Melanie, just wanting Lindsay to admit the truth. 

He glared at her and his voice was deadly calm. “The truth. Now!”

Lindsay huffed, before flopping down on the couch. “Fine. Things between us haven't been good lately and I needed a break from her. So I came down here whenever I could to get away from her. Happy now?”

“No,” Brian replied honestly, eyeing his friend from sad eyes. No, he wasn't happy. He had wished for her to have all the happiness in life and he had also wanted for his son to grow up in a happy family, not a war zone where his mommies were constantly fighting. “I thought you had figured out your shit when you left Pittsburgh.”

“Things weren't as easy in Canada as we thought and... well, with money being tight tensions ran high,” Lindsay whispered.

“Why didn't you say something? I would have given you money,” Brian immediately interrupted.

“She is too proud for that,” Lindsay only hissed and Brian knew that she was refering to Melanie.

“You aren't... so instead of taking my money, you decided to come here and play lady of the manor?”

“What? Brian, it's not like that,” Lindsay insisted, but she avoided looking at Brian directly, so Brian knew that she wasn't completely honest.

“Then explain this whole mommy business to me. What gave you the idea that you are Luke's mother and that it was okay for him to call you mommy?” Brian glared at her, daring her to not tell him the truth.

“I... I just thought it would be easier for Gus.”

“For Gus?” Brian wasn't sure he understood what she was saying. “What does he have to do with you calling yourself Luke's mother?”

“Brian... You are his father and I am his mother. He will be confused if Luke also calls you father, but doesn't refer to me as his mother. It will confuse them both. They are brothers, but not really.”

Brian just looked at her incredulously. “So, is JR gonna call me daddy soon? I bet Michael and Melanie will love that.”

“What? Brian, no. Why would she?”

“Well, according to your logic it must be confusing for her if Gus calls me daddy but she doesn't, right? So I guess I should be prepared for her calling me, Daddy, too.”

“Brian, don't be ridiculous. That is different.”

“How?” Brian raised an eyebrow in curiousity.

“She has two parents. She has me and Melanie.”

“And Luke has two parents as well. Me and Justin,” Brian gritted out. 

“But Justin is not here. He's not part of Luke's life,” Lindsay pointed out, her voice once again sweet as honey.

“So, you figured you could take his place instead?” Brian's voice had risen and his anger was beginning to take over. Who did Lindsay think she was? Just because Justin wasn't there and wasn't a part of his son's life didn't mean he wasn't the father. “Well, Lindsay, I am sorry to disappoint, but my son already has two parents and you're not one of them!”

“Brian,” Lindsay started, but by that point Brian had heard enough.

“No, you listen to me: Justin is Luke's father and that will never change. My son will grow up knowing who his parents are. And he will always know that you're not one of them.”

“Brian,” Lindsay started once more, only to be interrupted again.

“I think it's better if you spend the rest of the day at Debbie's or somewhere else,” Brian said calmly, his voice void of any emotion.

“What?” Lindsay's eyes widened in surprise.

“I want to spend time with my sons. There is no place here for you. You're not part of that family and never will be. For Gus' upcoming visits it's better if you stay with Debbie or a friend. I want to spend time with my sons,” with that Brian turned around and left the living-room. On his way up to the upper floor of the house, he met Gus on the stairwell.

“Hey sonny boy, did you sleep well?” 

The boy nodded slowly and a small smile spread on his face when he was lifted up by Brian and held closely in his father's arms. 

“How about some breakfast and then we get Luke ready for a day out?” Brian asked. “We can go into the grounds and collect some of the fallen leaves for your class project,” Brian suggested and was awarded with a large smile from his son in return.

At that point Lindsay came out of the living-room and watched the scene in the hallway quietly. She didn't say anything and it was Gus who broke the awkward silence.

“Mommy, Daddy is helping me with my class project. We'll collect leaves later. Will you help us?”

Lindsay was about to reply to her son when Brian answered first.

“Mommy is going to spend the day with Grandma Debbie. It will be me, you and Luke. You'll see mommy again tonight at the airport.”

Gus only nodded, apparently happy with that information as well and then cuddled into his father's chest. The whole time he hadn't noticed how Brian had glared at Lindsay, daring her to contradict or cause a scene in front of their son.