Chapter 29

“Carl, what are you doing here?” Brian said warily as he walked down the hall from his office to the front desk, ready to leave Kinnetik for the day and ready to see his sons. It had been a long day with several meetings and presentations and Brian couldn't wait to see Gus and Luke. He really missed them.

“Brian?” Carl looked confused, clearly not having expected to see Brian at Kinnetik.

“Why are you so surprised to see me here? It's my company,” Brian snarked, realising how that might have sounded harsher than he had intended. If he was honest with himself, Brian didn't quite know what to make of Carl's presence at Kinnetik. He hadn't seen the older man since Michael and Lindsay had been sentenced and after he had pretty much broken off all contact with Debbie, there hadn't really been a reason to stay in contact with Carl either. Yes, he had always liked the man, but Carl was Debbie's boyfriend and outside of Debbie they really didn't have a lot in common, so it had felt only natural to Brian that his relationship with Carl had also ended along with his relationship with Debbie. It had been sad, but that was life.

“I... I just didn't expect to see you here, I guess. I thought you work from home,” Carl replied, before he got a grip on himself. “How are you Brian? You look good. And how are Luke and Gus?”

“I am good. Can't complain. Kinnetik is doing well, as is Babylon and the two rascals are causing trouble as usual,” Brian chuckled, leading Carl over to his office.

“You were on your way out, Brian,” Carl murmured. “I didn't mean to keep you.”

“Carl, you don't usually come by the office. At least not that I know of, so I guess it might be something important that brought you here and I'd rather discuss it in the privacy of my office than in the hallway where everyone can hear us.”

“I... I was just hoping to see Ted, I didn't expect to see you.”

“Ted left an hour ago. He and Blake have opera tickets tonight. It's their date night or whatever they call it nowadays. Can I help you instead?” Brian offered, looking at the older man who seemed slightly nervous sitting opposite Brian.

“I... I guess you can,” Carl said and started wringing is hands which only increased Brian's discomfort. Carl had been a cop for over 40 years and if he was nervous, Brian knew it had to be something serious.

“I know you won't like to hear this, but... I am here because of Debbie.”

Brian sighed, not really feeling like talking about the woman he had considered his mother for more than twenty years.

“What about her?”

“She hasn't been doing so good lately and...,” Carl took a deep breath, not quite sure how to continue.

“Is she sick?” Brian asked and cursed himself for the concern he could hear in his voice. Why would he feel so concerned for a person that had treated him so badly? Because he still loved her and cared about her, despite everything.

“No, it's nothing like that,” Carl immediately calmed the younger man.

“Then what is it? Out with it, Carl. I have two boys waiting for me and right now spending time with them sounds way more fun than listening to whatever it is you want to tell me about Debbie.”

“The last year hasn't been easy for Debbie and... I guess I am here to plead her case.”

“Plead her case?” Brian frowned, not sure what to make of that statement.

“I am not sure if you care, but... after the trial things with Michael took a turn for the worse. Debbie went to visit him in prison, but he refused to talk to her. He blamed her for ending up in prison and in the end told her that she wasn't his mother anymore if she couldn't even keep him out of prison. He has refused to talk to her for a couple of months now and doesn't reply to her letters,” Carl explained.

“I am sorry to hear that, but why do you think I would care? Debbie has made it very clear what she thinks about me and my role in all of this,” Brian pointed out.

“I know, but Brian, she was hurt and in pain. She didn't mean it.”

“Oh yes, she did,” Brian angrily exclaimed. “Look, I know you love her, but I have known her for more than 20 years and if I know one thing about the Novotnys it's that they always mean what they say, but afterwards claim they don't when it comes back to bite them in the ass.”

“I understand your anger and I don't blame you,” Carl said to placate the younger man. “I don't want to make excuses for Debbie, but... she has lost everything and everyone, Brian.”

“You want me to feel sorry for her? I have been betrayed by my two best friends and lost my surrogate mother in the process because she didn't love me as much as I thought she did.”

Carl could easily hear the pain in Brian's voice and wasn't surprised to hear it. The last year had to have been hard on Brian as well. “I don't want you to feel sorry for her, I... I just want you to consider giving her a fair chance.”

“A chance? At what?” Brian raised an eyebrow, wondering if Carl was talking about what he thought the man was talking about.

“Forgiveness.”

“You want me to forgive Debbie? Why would I do that after all the things she has said and done?”

Carl sighed, knowing that he had no real answer to convince the man opposite him. “Because you love her like a mother and she loves you like her son.”

Brian laughed, but it didn't sound honest. “Love me? I don't think so, Carl. When push came to shove she made it quite clear that I was not her son.”

“She might lose her job at the diner,” Carl went on, not quite sure why he had even said that. It was clear that Brian didn't care.

“I am sorry to hear that.”

“She lost Michael and she hasn't seen JR ever since this whole thing has gone down. Melanie refused to let her anywhere close to JR and then moved away without giving us any way to contact her. Debbie has been heartbroken and... she hardly shows up for work anymore and when she does, she's not focused and messes up. She's only a shell of her former self and... I fear for her, Brian.”

“Carl, I am sorry to hear that, but I really don't know what you expect from me.”

“Christmas has been an eye opener for her, Brian. She has been all alone with me and there was no one. Absolutely no one. She has lost her son, her granddaughter, but she has also lost you, your sons and with you she has lost Ted and Blake and Jennifer. Emmett hardly talks to her as he's so busy with his own life and career... She's all alone and has no one but me.”

“Carl, that is all very sad, but I still don't see what you want from me,” Brian's tone grew slightly more impatient with each word that he spoke.

“She knows she made the wrong choice,” the older man said quietly.

“It was never a choice. It never had to be,” Brian replied equally quiet.

“To her it felt that way.”

“Then that's a choice she made and now has to live with,” Brian slowly got up from his chair, indicating that he was ready to finish this conversation. He didn't feel like talking about Debbie any more than he had to and wanted to get out of the office, so he could see his sons.

“She regrets what she said to you and wants to apologise,” Carl told the younger man as he got up as well, knowing that he was about to be dismissed. “She misses you and the boys terribly and she thinks about you every day. I know you don't care, but Brian, she loves you and... I guess I came here so Ted would ask you to give her another chance. I worry about her.”

Brian sighed as he led the man towards his office door. “Carl, I am sure you only have her best interest at heart, but... I can't do what you want me to do. I have Gus and Luke to think about and her kind of conditional love is not something I want to expose them to. As long as she doesn't understand how much damage she has done with her behaviour, there is no sense in having any conversation at all. I am sorry about things not having worked out for her, but... that is not my concern anymore.”

Brian opened the door to his office and led the man outside. After Carl had left, Brian headed for his own car and made his way to Jennifer's place with a heavy heart, cursing himself for caring more about Debbie than he probably should.

***

“I have to admit, I was surprised when you called me,” Carl admitted as he looked at Brian, who was sitting opposite him at the table in the restaurant where Brian had booked a table for them for lunch.

“I surprised myself when I called you,” Brian admitted.

“Why are we here?” The older man asked, looking around the restaurant.

“What? You don't like it? It's one of my favourites.”

“I am sure it's nice, but... why are we meeting here?”

“I figured this is neutral ground,” Brian admitted.

“And why are we even meeting at all? You didn't sound interested in what I had to say when I saw you at Kinnetik.”

Brian shrugged. “I don't know... Your visit got me thinking and the more I thought, the more I knew you hadn't told me the whole story.”

“What do you mean?” Carl frowned.

“Lets cut the bullshit, alright? I read people for a living and I know that I didn't get the whole truth from you when you came to Kinnetik. So here I am, trying to get the whole truth once and for all. I think I deserve at least that much, don't I?”

Carl sighed, but in the end nodded. “Debbie and I might break up.”

“Okay...,” Brian swallowed, not having expected that.

“She thought that I have been on your side the whole time and haven't supported her and Michael enough in all of what has happened. She didn't appreciate me seeing your point of view and well, things have been rocky for a couple of months now because of that. Michael kicking her out of his life didn't help and things have only deteriorated from there, though she has finally started seeing his true self and seeing him for the person that he is. That realisation has led to a depression that has made the woman that I love completely disappear. She is gone, Brian and I am not sure how much longer I can take who she is now,” the older man admitted.

“What do I have to do with all of this?”

“I want my old Debbie back. The energetic, crass, too out there Debbie that I fell in love with. My Red.”

“I don't think there is much I could do to help you get her back,” Brian said honestly.

“If there is anyone that can bring her back, it's you. I know that you're my only chance of getting my Debbie back.”

“So this whole thing is not about her wanting my forgiveness, but about you wanting me to forgive her, so you get your girlfriend back?”

“No,” Carl shook his head slowly. “She knows by now that she has made mistakes, she knows that she treated you unfairly and... I think she also knows that you would have needed a mother as well with everything you went through, but... she also knows you and knows that there is no way in hell you will ever talk to her again.”

“So that's why you're talking to me instead?” Brian asked.

“I want my Debbie back and if I need to beg you for forgiveness and if I need to plead her case with you left and right then that's what I'll do. For her.”

Brian nodded thoughtfully, eyeing the older man seriously. “Why isn't she the one asking for my forgiveness?”

“You haven't exactly made it easy for her to contact you,” Carl reminded Brian and Brian knew that the police officer was right. He had blocked her number after he had gotten annoyed by her many calls to Britin and had told his secretaries at Kinnetik that he didn't want to speak to her under any circumstances. He had informed his building security that he didn't want her inside the offices, not wanting to risk her making a scene in front of clients.

“We both know Debbie well enough to know that if she had wanted to, she would have found a way anyway,” Brian declared and Carl only nodded, knowing that Brian was right.

“That would have been the old Debbie, but... Brian, she has changed. She has lost her fire and she's only a shell of who she used to be. She loved her work at the diner, but now, more often than not she doesn't even show up for her shifts anymore. More often than not I find her on the sofa in her pajama when I return from my shift and know she hasn't left the house at all all day. She needs something to pull her out of this funk and... I know that you're the only one who can do that.”

“You're asking quite a lot,” Brian said seriously.

“I know, but... I know that you love her, Brian. Even despite everything. You have a big heart and... Debbie has always said that when you love someone, you love them with all you have to give and I've seen you together. I know you love her. I know she is the mother you never had. Is she perfect? God, no! Has she made mistakes? Hell, yes! But... you are her only family, Brian and isn't being a family about forgiving each other?”

“I am not sure if I can. Not after everything that has happened...”

“I understand,” Carl said with quiet acceptance. “I won't urge you to do anything you don't feel like you can do, I... I guess I just wanted you to think about it...”

“It's not that I don't want to, Carl, but... she's hurt me. I am not sure I can just forget about that and forgive her.”

Carl eyed the younger man seriously, surprised by Brian admitting his true feelings so openly. He had expected some wise crack from him, but not this honest conversation they were having right now.

“Nobody expects you to, but... maybe you can find it in you to at least give her a chance to apologise herself. It would mean so much to her.”

“I will not listen to another session of 'woe-is-me-my-baby-is-oh-so-innocent',” Brian declared sternly.

“Brian, she won't do that. She has learned her lesson. Deep down she knows that Michael is not nearly as innocent as she'd like him to be and she also knows that she's treated you very wrongly. Just give her a chance to apologise in person. That's all I am asking.”

“I'll think about it. That's all I can promise,” Brian declared with a deep sigh. He really didn't know if he could face Debbie, could stand another one of her tirades and even if Carl was right and she wanted to apologise, he didn't know if he wanted to hear that apology and wanted to let her back into his life.