Title: Hold On My Heart…
Story Type: AU
Word Count: 1545
Warnings: Passion, Love, M-Preg…
Beta Queen: BigJ52

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plot, etc. are property of their respective owners, including, but not limited to Russell T. Davies, Cowlip, and Showtime. The author of this story is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended…

Summary: Brian and Justin’s love runs deep, forever keeping a hold on each other’s heart… 


Hold on My Heart

Entering Babylon, Jake the bouncer, tells Brian that he caught Gus sneaking into the club again. After chasing and threatening him, he locked him in Brian’s office. 

The teen makes his way around Brian’s desk checking out the stereo, books and pictures, there’s lots of pictures. He stops and picks up a picture of Brian and Justin taken at the Gay and Lesbian center so long ago. His mind is doing somersaults and his breathing is becoming rapid as he starts to shake.


Brian comes through the door, already yelling at Gus. “I thought I made it clear two nights ago. If I caught you here again I’m not going to buy you a jeep, and you’ll have to ride the school bus until you graduate from high school.”


Brian rants. “Why would you disobey me? Why?” 

Then Brian looks up and almost faints. “Who the fuck are you?” 


Brian stares at the teenage youth who looks just like Gus, except he has creamy porcelain skin and piercing deep blue eyes. They both just stare at each other, not knowing what to say or do. They feel like the room is closing in on them and they can’t seem to breathe. Brian finally breaks the silence. “What’s your name?” 


The brunet just stands there, looking at his father for the first time. Ted barges into the office. “Brian. Good, you’re finally here. I need your signature.” He turns and says hi to Gus. The teen stutters and says. “Your name is Brian?” 


Brian smiles and extends his hand. “Brian Kinney. And yours?” 


He hands Brian the photograph he took from the bookshelf and says. “I really should go, I shouldn’t be here.” 


Brian grabs him, pulling him back in to the room. “I asked you a question. What’s your name?” 


He narrows his eyes in defiance and awe. This is him, this is his father. This is the man who broke his father’s heart, the one he’ll never be able to let go of. He doesn’t know if he should love him or hate him, but he’ll be damned if he’s going to be afraid of him. Looking at Brian he says, “I always asked him about you. What your name was, but he never would answer me.”


They both continue their stare off, holding their ground. Finally he says, “My name’s Kenneth. I prefer Ken to Kenny, although technically it’s Brian Kenneth Taylor. But no one’s ever called me Brian.”


~~~


Fifteen Years Earlier…


“Justin. Please go inside and rest. I want to talk with Brian.” 


“Mrs. Taylor?”


“Brian. I want you to leave and never see Justin again. If it wasn’t for you, this never would have happened.”


“I care about him.”


“If that’s true then you’ll do as I ask, and you’ll let me have my son back. Let him have a chance at a normal life.”


Heartbroken, Brian turns and walks away, never expecting to see Justin again…


What they didn’t know, and Justin didn’t tell either one of them, was that he was already three months pregnant. His parents convinced him to go to Dartmouth, and so Daphne transferred there as well. The fact that they had kept Kenny a secret for the last decade and a half is unbelievable, but that lie is about to be exposed.


~~~


“Where’s your father?”


“He’s at the hospital. His mom had a heart attack.”


“Don’t you mean your grandmother?”


“No! She’s not my anything, grand or anything else. She’s just my dad’s mom. I’ve never met her.”


Brian’s truly speechless, this kid is probably just as fucked up as he is. Yep, no doubt he’s his son. He can’t help wondering if it’s hereditary, because his beautiful sunshine could never raise such an angry child. 


This time it’s Kenny who breaks the silence and asks, “Who’s Gus?” 


“He’s my son, my other son.” 


Kenny looks at him, questioning the fact that he’s actually acknowledged him. 


“Do you even remember him? My dad?” 


Brian is stunned by the question, but then there’s no way this kid could ever know that he thinks about Justin every day. He could never know how much he wishes he had followed his heart and not his mantras. How much he wishes he had told Justin he was the one he loved, the only one he would forever love. Even after all this time he is the only one who’s ever made his heart feel alive. 


“I guess what I heard him say was true, then. That you wouldn’t remember him, that you wouldn’t remember his name. That he wasn’t your lover and he wasn’t your friend. That he was nothing to you.”


“No! No, that’s not true! He told you that?” 


Kenny wrinkles his nose just like Brian does and looks at him like he’s crazy. “No, of course not. I overheard him and Daphne talking.” 


“Shouldn’t that be aunt Daphne or something?” 


“No. I told you. I don’t have any grandparents. I don’t have aunts and uncles, and I only have one father. Is that clear! You’re nothing to me! Just like he’s nothing to you!” 


“You know I just came here to check out the scene while he’s at the hospital. I didn’t come here to find you! I don’t want to know you! And I really think its best not to tell him we’ve met.”


Brian’s POV

Oh god, this kid is just like me. Gus acts all tough, but this kid is hard as nails and he doesn’t let you get away with anything. I already love him so much. How is it possible for him to reach right into my chest and take a hold of my heart? Not to mention that I’m still trying to heal the broken one his father left behind. He’s checking out my black leather jacket, trying it on. I tell him he can wear it, that it’s cold outside. 

I lead him out of the club and towards my black jaguar. He raises his eyebrows and asks if this is mine, while muttering something about how many house payments you could make instead of buying this car. Then he asks if he can drive. I smirk and tell him I’ll leave it to him in my will, but he’ll have to wait until then. He loses a little bit of his tough guy edge, telling me he’s a really good driver and that he already has his license. I just look at him. Gus is still in driver training, and Ken’s even younger than Gus. Then he smiles at me. Yes, it’s that sunshine smile, the same as his father’s. 


“I got my license early, you know, for emergencies. My dad has issues.” 


I can’t help being concerned. “What’s wrong with Justin?” 


“What’s not wrong with him?” 


Brian looks shocked but waits for Ken to continue. 


“He’s allergic to everything. He can only paint for short periods of time before his hand cramps up and gets all twisted. He hates people. He hates crowds. And when he comes to my soccer games, he can’t even get out of the car.”


Brian just continues to stare at Kenny, shocked by this information.


“He has severe anxiety, with a side of paranoia. He’s always looking over his shoulder or checking the locks on the doors. He rarely leaves the house, unless it’s to go to the doctor’s. If I have anyone over to visit, he hides in his studio because he’s afraid of having a panic attack. It’s a miracle he made it back here to see his mother. But I guess he needs closure. He hasn’t seen her since before I was born.”


They pull into the parking lot of the hospital, and Brian asks the question he’s wanted to ask since he first saw Kenny standing in his office. “So, is he married?” 


Kenny bursts out laughing. “Well, I suppose he could get a mail order husband or something. Daphne usually brings some cute guy around a few times a year, but my dad’s not really able to get close to anyone. I guess he’s still…” 

Ken looks away, not wanting Brian to see how much it hurts him to know that his father’s still hopelessly in love with Brian. 


“He doesn’t do boyfriends. He doesn’t believe in love.” 


Brian thinks to himself that doesn’t sound like his sunshine, and he wonders how he could have gotten so callous, just like him.


“You ruined him! You made him just like you. An unfeeling, uncaring son of a bitch! Then he became a total recluse. I hate you! I hate you for hurting him so badly, making him withdraw from life!”


Brian reaches out and pulls Ken into his embrace. “It’s going to be alright. I’m here now and I promise I’ll make everything alright.”


~~~


Brian jerks awake, sitting up in bed, shaking in a cold sweat. Jennifer be damned, he gets dressed and drives to her condo, not caring in the least that it’s four o’clock in the morning. He’s bringing his sunshine home, he needs to make it clear to Justin how he feels. Even if he couldn’t say it before, he can now. He loves him, and he plans on fighting for him…

The End...